Austin and Ally s01e15 Episode Script

Can you play this? Oh, please.
I can play that in my sleep.
Can you play it this way? "Yes, I can.
" Guess who got a job in Dez's movie! That's right, I'm shooting my first big movie.
It's about a giant sand crab who attacks Miami.
I call it "Claws, Dun Dun Dun!" Ooh, "Claws.
" I like that title.
It's not called "Claws".
It's called "Claws, Dun Dun Dun.
" Yeah yeah, who cares about the title or the stupid crab? My character's the real star.
Girl #2.
Girl #2 gets eaten in the first scene.
What?! You didn't tell me that.
If girl #2 doesn't live till the end of the movie, neither will the director.
Dun dun dun! Fine, your character won't get eaten till the end.
But just so you know, I'm naming the crab Trish Because it's mean and everyone's afraid of it.
Oh, Dez.
That's so sweet.
You're gonna be in the movie too.
You're going to play Troy, the handsome lifeguard who battles the crab and saves the town.
Awesome! Now I'm officially a quadruple threat Actor, singer, dancer, and balloon-er.
And Ally, that leaves just one role left The cute songwriter who works at the local music store.
Sally.
I wrote it specifically for the most talented girl I know.
Dez, I'm flattered.
Not you, Selena Gomez.
But she's unavailable, so Do you wanna play the part? As much as I appreciate being your second choice, I can't do your movie.
I have stage fright.
But you have to.
We start shooting tomorrow.
I'll play Sally.
How you going to play two parts in the same movie? It's easy.
When I was in middle school, I played three parts in the same play.
It was a modern take on "Romeo and Juliet," set as a love triangle in Miami.
I remember that play "Romeo and Juliet and Lupita.
" "Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" "It is the east and Juliet is the sun.
" "No te quiero cerca de mi novio.
" When the crowd wants more, I bring on the thunder.
'Cause you've got my back, and I'm not going under.
You're my point, you're my guard.
You're the perfect chord.
And I see our names together on every billboard.
We're headed for the top, we've got it on lock.
We'll make 'em say "hey!" And we'll keep rockin'.
Oh, there's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
It's no fun when you're doing it solo.
With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
I own this dream.
'Cause I got you with me.
There's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
I still don't get why you can't be in Dez's movie.
I know you have stage fright, but it's not like there's an audience, just Dez and some actors.
It doesn't matter.
I still have to perform in front of people.
I don't like that kind of pressure.
But you have the most gruesome death in the movie.
The crab rips you in half and then your head gets to watch him eat your legs.
No way! That changes everything.
- Really? - No.
So how are the auditions going? Great.
There's only one more role to cast.
I'm here to audition for "Santa Claus.
" Nelson, the movie's called "Claws," not "Santa Claus.
" Aw, nartz! You know how hard it was to build this in Miami? Dez, I hope you don't mind, I made some small changes to your script, starting with the title.
"Girl #2 versus Claws.
" And if you don't like that, we could just go with "Girl #2: The movie.
" No! No no no no no! We're making the movie like I wrote it.
This is my dream.
I still want to help you on your movie, just not on camera.
Hey Dez, let her do props.
Didn't you say you needed someone to build you a miniature lighthouse? Yeah, but that's going to take hours and hours.
I need someone with, like, no social life.
That's perfect for Ally! Hey, I have a social life.
I'll have you know, I went to a party last year.
It was back-to-school night.
There were refreshments and teachers.
That makes it a party.
- No, it doesn't.
- Okay, I'm your prop girl.
So what are you going to do about Ally's part? I rewrote it.
Now you just pull the girl out of the ocean and give her mouth-to-mouth.
It's between those two actresses.
I'm leaning towards Brittany, but Mildred's got some good acting chops.
- Pick Brittany! Pick Brittany! - Okay.
The part's yours, Brittany.
You can go, Mildred.
That's Brittany? Pick Mildred! Pick Mildred! Oh, scratch that.
You're out, Brittany.
Mildred, you're back in.
Here's your lighthouse, Dez.
I was up all night making it.
- This is amazing.
- Thank you.
It took 7,000 toothpicks, 83 bottles of glue, and one trip the emergency room to get a glued toothpick out of my nose, but it's done! Wow.
It lights up, it spins around and everything.
I almost feel bad for cutting it out of the movie.
Ha! Don't feel bad.
I kind of What?! You're cutting my prop? Ooh, yeah, we're not going to shoot that scene, so we don't need that lighthouse any more.
Man, isn't showbiz fun? Okay, guys, we're shooting the finale first.
Troy the lifeguard rescues the drowning girl from the ocean.
I'll save her! Whoa, Nelson, you're not playing Troy the lifeguard.
- You're playing scared little boy.
- No fair! I'm calling my agent! Hi, mom.
Okay.
Austin, after you rescue the girl, Claws is going to suddenly come up through the sand.
Whoa, that thing looks scary! Yeah, but it's all special effects.
That claw is perfectly safe.
Help help! This stupid claw's got me! Oh! That was pretty good, right? Quit messing around, Trish.
You don't get eaten by Claws.
You just scream when it comes out of the sand.
All I do is scream? Oh, what if I say, "Claws, no!" "Don't eat my sister?" She's not your sister.
I know.
I thought it'd be more dramatic if we were related.
And then when the claw attacked her, I could cry in a close-up.
"Why? Oh, why?" "Why did you have to take my sister?" I could amp it up more if you want.
Hey, I am the director.
Nobody comes onto my movie set and changes my script except for me.
Could you change the line to, "why? Why? Why did you take my sister?" Maybe the line would work better if Trish was looking at a lighthouse in the distance.
Ooh, sorry, no lighthouse.
Okay, let's shoot this thing! Austin, when you save the girl, you're gonna lay her down in the sand, under the umbrella.
- Under the - Under the umbrella.
And action! I'll save you! Ah, help! Ah! You're okay I'm gonna put you on the sand.
Nothing bad can happen to you on the sand.
Are you sure it has to be under the umbrella? Cut! Uh, yeah.
It has to be under the umbrella.
I can't do your movie.
Sorry, Dez.
Sorry, Mildred.
Did he just say he can't do my movie? - What was that about? - Maybe he caught stage fright from Ally! Stage fright's not contagious.
Just in case.
Hey, why did you run off like that? It almost seemed like you were afraid to go under the beach umbrella.
That's ridiculous.
I mean, who's afraid of umbrellas? I know, that would weird, right? It's not weird! No way.
You're afraid of umbrellas.
Pf ft! I know you are, but what am I? You're afraid of umbrellas.
Ah! Okay, fine, I'm afraid of umbrellas.
Go ahead, laugh.
I know you think it's silly.
What? I don't think it's silly.
I'm afraid of umbrellas too! Every time I see an umbrella, I'm like.
.
"Ah! Umbrellas are so scary!" Nice try.
You don't know how tough it is.
Umbrellas are everywhere Patio umbrellas, rain umbrellas, tiny umbrellas they put in fruit drinks.
Oh, you mean like this? Oh, um, sorry.
Um Why are you afraid of them anyway? - Can you keep a secret? - Who am I going to tell? I go to one party a year.
Fine.
It happened in fourth grade.
We were on a field trip to the beach and brought umbrellas in case it rained.
Some day I'm going to make a movie about a giant sand crab.
Dun dun dun! Some day I'm going to be an overnight Internet sensation.
Hey, Dez, check it out.
I'm gonna jump off that sand dune and see if I can fly.
How you gonna do that, Austin? With my umbrella.
I'm gonna go get my camera off the bus to film this.
The umbrella got stuck in my belt loop, a gust of wind came and the umbrella flew away with my pants.
All the kids were laughing at me.
I was humiliated.
Hey, look, flying pants! Well, now I know why you're scared of umbrellas.
I've never been more embarrassed in my life.
That's why I've never told anyone that story before.
Not even Dez knows that I'm afraid of umbrellas.
Well, your secret's safe with me.
What secret? - Um - Um I'm waiting.
Um, Austin's caught my stage fright.
I knew it was contagious! Austin, you've got to come back to my movie.
Come on, Austin, I need you! This movie can get me to my first film festival.
You know that's my dream.
I know.
Count me back in.
I won't let you down, buddy.
Great.
See you guys at the beach.
Oh, and before I forget, Ally, I need you to make one of these claw crackers for the movie.
- That shouldn't be too hard.
- It's gotta be five feet tall.
And I need it in one hour.
See you guys! What am I going to do, Ally? Dez is counting on me.
I've got a plan.
You're afraid of umbrellas because you connect them with a bad memory.
To overcome that fear, you have to connect umbrellas with a good memory.
From now on, whenever you think of umbrellas, you're gonna think of your three favorite things.
Pancakes, cheerleaders and Lebron James? Exactly.
You got Lebron James? No, but I got his limo driver.
All you have to do is sit under the patio umbrella and make a good memory.
I can do that.
- Yeah, I can.
- Boo.
You're doing great.
There you go.
See? I think this is gonna work.
Uh-oh, looks like it's going to rain.
This is supposed to be a good memory! It's chasing me! Um, Ally, I think I'm still afraid of umbrellas.
Well, at least you still have your pants on this time.
I can either scream like this Or like this They both sound the same.
- The second one was in spanish.
- Oh! You guys ready to shoot this scene? I don't know, Dez.
It looks like it's gonna rain.
No problem.
We have these.
Oh yay.
I didn't sign up for shooting in the rain.
I'm just gonna use my stunt double.
You have a stunt double? There's a scene where Claws tosses me off a 30-foot cliff.
Better her than me.
So, Brittany, how do you feel about cliff diving? Hey, Dez, what if we shoot the movie without any umbrellas? We can't.
It's symbolic.
Umbrellas protect people from rain and your character protects Miami from Claws' reign of terror.
You are an umbrella.
See you guys down at the beach! Woo! I don't know what to do, Ally.
I should just tell Dez I can't do his movie.
I'm never gonna get over my fear.
Yes, you are.
I think I'm ready to tell you how I got my stage fright.
- Really? - Yeah.
I don't want you to keep going through what I go through.
It happened a couple of years ago.
I was auditioning to get into a prestigious music school in New York.
They sent a scout down to Florida and my dad let them use Sonic Boom to hold auditions.
Well, that was horrendous! May I suggest a career smashing watches? Because you're good at wasting time.
Next! Well, I hope you're better than the last girl, Miss Dawson.
You know, getting in this school could make or break your entire music career.
Don't blow it! You may begin.
I was so afraid of ruining my one chance, I lost it.
So, uh Do-overs? Anyway, I didn't get in.
That's why I have stage fright.
You only get so many chances to make it and I don't want to fail again.
If I don't perform, I can't fail.
Wow, Ally, I'm just afraid to be embarrassed again.
Your fear is way worse than mine.
That's kind of why I told you the story.
Like ten times worse! I mean, my umbrella fear doesn't stop me from chasing my dreams.
But your stage fright? Wow, you're a mess.
Okay, I get it.
Thanks for making me realize how silly my fear is.
I'm gonna do Dez's movie.
It's only one little umbrella.
I can totally do this.
That's not one little umbrella.
- I cannot totally do this.
- You're gonna be fine.
Okay, let's shoot this thing.
Ooh, by the way, we're not going to need the claw cracker.
Ooh! Of course we're not.
Maybe you can use it to crack something else.
Oh, I have something in mind.
Okay, Austin, Mildred is under that umbrella unaware Claws is behind her.
You have to run through this maze of umbrellas and battle Claws to the death with this oar.
- This or what? - This oar.
- This or what? - This oar.
This or what? - This oar! - Or what? - This oar! - This or what?! Just fight him with the paddle.
Okay.
Places! - And action! - Ah! It's Claws! Don't eat my sister! Why? Run for your life! Get off my beach, Claws.
I'm not scared of you, Claws.
I'm not scared of anything.
Looks like we're having crab for dinner.
This is so awesome.
- Yeah, Dez.
- Thanks, guys.
I got accepted into the Miami film festival.
I just got my first acting agent.
- Who? - Me.
My favorite part was when you decided to battle the crab with that umbrella.
I can't believe you did that, especially since you're so scared of umbrellas.
You knew about that? Uh, yeah-huh! I'm your best friend.
I know all your secrets, like your middle name's Monica and you only wear boxers with trucks on them.
Dez! If you knew Austin was afraid of umbrellas, then why did you put them all over your movie set? Because an awesome director knows how to get real emotion out of people.
I made Austin scared, Trish annoyed - And you angry.
- I'm not angry.
I didn't put any of your props in that movie.
I know! How could you do that? See? Awesome director.
You annoyed me on purpose? You shouldn't have done that.
"Claws, Dun Dun Dun," scene 56, take 17.
How about I do the scene as Gloria? Crab, you best step away from my sister.
Cut! Ally, no lighthouse.
It's Santa Claus! - Run for your lives! - Cut! It's just "Claws," Nelson.
Ah! That was perfect, Brittany.
You just have to jump off that cliff five more times.
Woo! You're okay! I'm gonna put you in the sand nothing bad can happen to you in the sand.
Cut! Ally, I said no lighthouse.
I'm getting too old for this crab.
Go ahead, Claws, make my day.
Hasta la vista, crabbie.
Crab, I am your father.
I love the smell of crab meat in the morning.
Say hello to my little umbrella.