CHiPs (1977) s01e15 Episode Script

Some days this seems more like a conveyor belt than a freeway.
A rear-ender in San Berdoo can double all those cars all the way to the coast.
Yeah, let's think of something pleasant, huh? Getraer show you that complaint report? Which one? The lady we changed the tire for.
The spare tire was flat.
She said it's our fault and she's suing.
It's getting harder and harder to be a nice guy.
If I breathe any more of these fumes, I'm gonna request hazard pay.
Make that combat pay.
Hey! Hey, get off of my car.
Hey! L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
We're 10-97 westbound San Berdoo at State Street.
We've got a couple of 11-82s.
One driver fleeing on foot.
What's going on? Cops chasing a guy.
Cops? Oh, man, how did I get into this? I think I remember something about needing bread.
Like the bank is gonna repossess your wheels.
You two relax.
They're not after us.
We'll fence this stuff off, be back at the beach in an hour.
Get off my car.
Get off my car right now! Get off, get off my car.
Get him away.
Anything you say, sir.
Get him off now! - Get off right now.
- Take it easy, don't get hostile.
I'm not getting hostile, I'm hyperactive.
Why did you have to pick my car to tackle him on? I didn't pick it.
It just worked out.
There's a scratch on my hood and you'll pay for it.
I'm sorry.
Submit a claim to the California Highway Patrol.
Submit a claim? You have violated private property.
- Yeah, I'm your witness, sir.
- Will you stop the "sir" stuff? We'll have to continue this discussion some other time, folks.
The Jail City express has just arrived.
The state is going to hear about this! You two are in big trouble.
- You tell him, Mac.
- Oh, smart mouth.
The next time you want to tackle a crook, do it near the center divider.
Thanks, ma'am.
We appreciate the thought.
- Hey, Ponch.
- Yeah? How do I get off the freeway? I'm going nuts.
You and me both.
Transfer? Both of you? What's the matter? Not permanently, sarge.
Just for few weeks, maybe.
Yeah, we just can't hack the city anymore.
Yeah, we feel smogged out, fed up and fenced in.
I know what you're talking about.
I get the same feeling every time I see you looming on my horizon.
Come on, sarge, you could fix it for us.
Why sure, Frank.
The only question is, where? I mean, there's lovely Lake Tahoe or Yosemite, that's spectacular this time of year.
- Well, we'll take a week of each.
- Yeah.
Oh, I'm sure you would.
If this was a travel agency and I was some sort of recreation director.
You were putting us on, right? I am putting you on.
On your bikes and on the freeways.
Now, out.
- Thanks, pal.
- Hey, you're a pal, pal.
Yeah, wait, wait, wait.
I am your sergeant, if you want a pal - Join the police athletic club, right.
- Police athletic club.
There you go.
Yeah.
That's what you call a transfer? But he didn't say no, not definitely.
At least not in those words.
Yeah, I love your optimism.
But the message I got was loud and clear, a definite no.
We can look on the brighter side of the world.
Half the world wants to come to L.
A.
And half the world is already here, bugging us.
The way I've been feeling lately it'll look great on my tombstone.
I can see it now: "Patrolman Frank Poncherello commissioned in '75, cited out in '78.
" Baker? Hold it right there.
- Are you two guys really uptight? - We can live with it.
We were just talking about a temporary transfer, weren't we? - We talked.
You hollered.
- Oh, come on, I never holler.
Anyway, I'm a very reasonable guy.
Maybe a change is what you guys need.
Where, Death Valley? - That's funny, Baker.
Malibu.
- Malibu? Yeah, a couple of their guys called in sick with the flu.
- Surf, sun.
- Bikinis.
That's terrific, sarge.
Thanks a lot.
Yeah, it is terrific.
It just occurred to me, with you two guys gone it's vacation for me.
Bye.
You know, this isn't exactly Acapulco or Hawaii, but close.
Smell that ocean air, huh? Not me.
I don't trust air I can't see through.
You'll get used to it.
Just take a deep breath.
Hey, deep breathing sounds too exciting.
I'm here to relax.
The only thing I want beside peace is quiet.
Hey, kid, grab the air gun and we're gone.
These guys are hiking four miles up the canyon, there's no hurry.
I see the hurry if you don't.
Hey, you're learning a trade.
Try to learn it right.
Anyone can install this stuff.
Let me see someone who can in two minutes.
- The faster we move, the more we get.
- Right.
Sometimes I wish I'd been born before cars or vans.
Hey, where are your gloves? Your fingerprints are all over that van.
Give me some rags.
Come on.
Hurry up.
Come on, here, wipe.
- Let's go.
Come on.
- Wipe, wipe.
Come on, move.
Hey, son.
- Step over here, please? - Who, me? Yeah, you.
I thought you brownies only wrote parking tickets.
- What are you doing here? - Strolling.
It's a public road, you know.
It goes to the greenhouse.
Is that where you got the flowers and the tape deck? Are you hassling me over this piece of junk? Hey, man, it's busted.
- Where did you get it? - From a guy at the greenhouse.
And the flowers are for my mother.
It's her birthday.
That's the worst con job I ever heard.
Show me some identification.
There you go.
Is your mother visiting here? She cleans houses, man.
I've spent some time in your neighborhood.
Well, I bet you ain't been around there lately.
Let's go talk to the guy at the greenhouse.
Come on.
Is there something wrong? Can you tell me something about this tape deck? Sure, I was gonna throw it away.
Robert said he'd fix it.
He'll sell it for a few bucks.
His mother works in the neighborhood and the flowers were for her birthday.
That kid is great with electronics.
Boy, he's fixed a lot of stuff for me around here.
Is he in some kind of trouble? No.
But I think I am.
Thank you.
I made a mistake.
Hey.
- I'm trying to apologize.
- Okay, man, I got it.
Hey, you haven't got it.
Look, I know where you coming from.
Then you know I'm used to this kind of hassle, right? It happens a lot.
It's a big nothing, just like your apology.
No, it's not what you think.
Okay, so you got a conscience hang-up.
I accept your apology.
Look, I don't want my mother seeing me with you.
She'll think I'm in some kind of trouble.
So why don't you just kiss off? Something special to you? Are you kidding? He is me.
A long time ago.
Could this really be it? Yeah, if you believe in signs.
Who cares about buildings? Listen, that's the surf.
You can actually hear the surf from the station.
Look at those mountains.
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? - Hey, I wanna report a rip-off.
- What kind? Car strippers.
They just turned Doug's van into a skeleton.
Yeah, they got my mags, tires, everything.
Worst of all is my stereo.
I still owe on it.
- That's rough.
Any witnesses? - No.
Why don't you come inside? We'll file a report.
I hope you get these strippers because I took two jobs to pay for this van.
Don't you feel guilty about being paid for this? Nope.
Oh, no.
Thank God you're here.
Get down, mister, get down.
No, no.
Not down.
Up, get up.
I need help.
I need help, please.
Here.
Here.
Looks like we're getting bushwhacked by champagne.
Champagne? This is not just champagne.
This is Louis Pierre Montroix, 1962.
It costs $ 15.
80 a bottle.
- Would you please help me move it? - Yeah, I'll give you a hand.
Don't step on any! 15.
80! Excuse me.
- Did you ladies witness the? - Shootout? Yeah, the shootout.
We saw it all.
The champagne shot first.
- Will we have to testify? - Lf you were involved in the accident.
Maybe we were.
Why don't you ask us a few questions? Okay.
- Were you involved in the accident? - No.
You get 19 more.
Did you see the accident? Yes, the truck just ran right off the road.
Are you two sisters? We'll never tell.
Do you wanna use your other 17? - Not officially.
- Terrific.
We're not big on red tape, anyway.
Did you count the pops? - What? - The pops, the pops: You see, I gotta get a count so I can figure my loses.
Yeah, I'm not the boss, you see.
And when he sees all the empties, he's gonna figure I drank them.
And he's gonna make me pay.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I did You better add one.
Make that two, add two.
Two? I can't even figure out how broke I am.
How'd all this happen? I don't know.
Honestly, I don't I don't It must have been mechanical failure.
I have a perfect driving record.
I stay alert.
Are you sure your eyes didn't leave the road, I mean, no distractions, right? Oh, there are things that could distract a guy but not if you stay alert.
Hey, this could have been serious.
You do want to keep your record perfect, right? Yeah.
Oh, shut up.
Not you, not you.
The bottles, the bottles.
But would you keep an eye I've got to call the boss and make sure no more go: Okay.
Now, what are you doing? Hey, public relations work.
Two cooperative citizens, unattached.
Occupations: Flight attendants, airline.
My girl is taking us to the beach.
Your girl can't come, but she'll send a friend.
Oh, wait a minute.
You know I don't go on blind dates.
You do tomorrow.
Hey, were committed.
Into the car.
Into the car, my big girl.
Yes.
Yes, little darling, oh.
Oh, you girl.
That's my little sweet girl.
My car, my baby! Somebody stop him.
He's got my baby.
- My baby's in that car.
Help me! - Wait, easy, what's wrong? - Take it easy.
- That man, he stole my baby.
- Who's got your baby? - That man, he has my baby.
Who, what? Take it easy.
Explain it.
Settle down, it's all right.
- What is it? - I left my keys in the car.
My baby is in the backseat.
He stole my car.
We can't risk the chase.
I mean, the baby's in the car.
We'll catch him by surprise.
You know the old road, runs parallel to Pacific Coast Highway, CHP station? The old Malibu road.
I'll get on the road and move ahead of him.
Settle down.
I'll follow him.
Settle down.
- Can one of you take care of her? - Do something, please.
I got the green Ford in sight.
It's approximately 1.
3 miles from the starting point moving approximately I've got it, Mary 3.
What's wrong, officer? Ma'am, I need your cooperation.
I wanna set up an emergency roadblock.
- Of course.
- Follow me, please.
Come on, this way.
Come on.
Bring it right over here.
Okay, right here, ma'am.
Sir, I need your cooperation, sir.
Ponch, I'm approaching the junction, do you copy? - Thank you very much, ma'am.
- Ponch, do you copy? Lighten up, man.
I didn't know the kid was in the car.
Honest.
If it makes you happy, we'll find another word for kidnapping.
Oh, is she all right? Oh, Kim.
She's all right.
They're considering car theft and kidnapping.
Oh, I don't know how to begin to thank you.
What about writing, "I will not leave my keys in the ignition" 100 times? How about my solemn word of honor? Deal.
Thank you.
Yes, sweetheart, yes.
You know, I keep thinking about that kid with the flowers.
I just don't know what to do about it.
Hey, Ponch, he's just another kid.
You don't believe that.
Not if you don't.
Yeah, so, what do I do? They got an expression in poker: Either ante up or get out of the pot.
Come on.
Let's go with the wheel.
Here, come on.
You see anything you like? I can't help looking around.
I'm a trained observer.
It's a ref Reflex.
Well, your reflexes checked out just fine.
Oh, yeah.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah, I believe in the idea.
Like when you meet someone and you hear violins.
- Yeah? Do you ever hear violins? - No, do you? Violins, no.
Sometimes I pick up a few bars of Fleetwood Mac or the Beach Boys.
Hey.
Wow, this is the best I've seen.
- Hey, Terry, how you doing? - Okay.
- I gotta check out this baby.
- You plan to compete with it? - No, what for? A trophy? - I see what you mean.
I haven't seen you around much.
Yeah, work.
I've got sort of a business.
Hey, come on, loosen up.
It's been a while since we'd sit out there, waiting for the last wave.
- Yeah, those were good days.
- Sure were.
Only it's different now.
They got ripoff artists all over this place.
- You better keep your eye on this baby.
- I heard that.
They got me, you know.
Stripped my van down to the frame.
It wasn't as hot as this.
But it was looking pretty good.
It's fantastic.
He's got a Quadraphonic stereo system.
He's got a Tv, leather Tuck & Roll.
It's the nicest van I've ever seen.
Why don't you park it? We can swim out and catch a few for old times' sake.
Well, maybe later, I just wanna catch a quick sandwich.
- I've got some business.
- Yeah, okay, well, come around more.
- You know, we miss you.
- Yeah.
Terry has changed.
He used to be a lot of fun.
Hey.
Don't say it.
You didn't know us without our uniform on, huh? Oh, right, how are you doing? - Okay.
- Did you hear anything about my van? No, I haven't heard anything yet but we're all working on it.
Doug, don't bother them now.
The guys are off duty.
Hey, look at that.
Motorcycles on skis? Now, that's for me.
It's a lot tougher than it looks.
So are motorcycles, but it's probably the same principle.
Balance, acceleration.
- Sure like to get a shot at that.
- Yeah, me too.
Someday.
Yeah, how about riding now? These guys are my friends, I'll set it up.
Hey, okay.
Hey, come on, Baker.
Hey, Ponch.
Ponch.
Come on, I don't want to do this.
Come on, if we can ride bikes, we can ride them.
Listen Hey, bikes have brakes.
Oh, man, the water's gonna be freezing.
- Are you ready? - You're insane.
You don't want the girls to think you're a chicken.
They're gonna think we're permanently out to lunch.
Listen, you're gonna be great.
Come on.
You guys are great.
I've had a wonderful time.
Yeah, but the fun hasn't even started yet.
- Dinner is gonna be a blast.
- Terrific.
Meet us Las Conchas.
- Where's that? I don't know the place.
- Rio de Janeiro.
We leave in two hours.
But we'll be back in five days.
Listen, normally I hate long goodbyes Good, because I have just enough time to catch my flight.
Get this developed, we can watch it when we get back.
- All right.
Goodbye.
- Bye.
Well, it looks like you and me for dinner.
- You got anyplace special in mind? - Food, no.
Neighborhood, right on.
I got the feeling you've been on this street before.
The houses are different, the feeling's the same.
It's like a time machine.
You know what a cop was in those days? "The Man.
" The enemy.
You couldn't trust them any further than you can throw them.
Hey, Ponch.
What changed it for you? Long story, wrong time.
See you in a bit.
- Yes? - Are you Robert's mother? - Yes.
- I would like to talk to your son.
- May I come in, please? - Sure, please.
- Are you bugging me again? - You seem to know my son.
Yes.
We had a misunderstanding.
You had a misunderstanding, I got a hassle.
You are the policeman.
Robert told me about it.
Please, sit down.
Ma, we don't have to talk to him unless he has a warrant.
Robert, use your manners.
Mrs.
Cruz.
I made a mistake the other day with your son and - I guess I'm still trying to apologize.
- We did that number.
What are you trying to say? Mom, he wants me to think he's a great guy.
Listen, I don't care what you think of me.
It's what you think of yourself.
Now, I stopped you, I questioned you.
I even put you down.
And that's what I'm apologizing for.
But it's not what I'm here for.
I mean, you took it like Like it was nothing.
Like some old con who figured to be rousted.
That's not the way you're supposed to be.
You got pride, man.
I know you have pride.
You have self-respect and you have to flash that.
You've got to show that to everyone so that you'll never stop believing in yourself.
The man is making sense, Robert.
Listen, there are few things I want to talk to you about.
Let's spend some time together, okay? Like when? I'm off duty next Saturday.
And believe it or not I've never been to Disneyland.
Why don't you take me? Well, we might have a little problem.
You see, my mother is working and I have to babysit the kids.
Robert.
Well, it's his guilt, Mom, not mine.
He's tough, you know? Okay, everyone.
Disneyland, huh? Can you handle all this? Probably not, but I got reinforcements in the car.
Come on.
Saturday, okay? - Come on, I'll walk you out.
- Okay.
on Coast Highway at Decker.
Suspicious persons in the vicinity of parked van.
Midway up at Hankin.
Nick, helicopter spotted us.
- The cops are on their way.
- Let's get out of here.
I'll get the back door, let's go.
Okay, let's go.
I'm one mile from Decker summit in pursuit of suspects heading south.
What's your 10-20? from Hankin.
- Looks like we got them between us.
- 10-4.
Okay, 7 Mary 3 and 4, this is 103 Adam.
He's all yours now.
Backup is on the way.
Hey, that's Terry.
Okay, stop right there! - Okay, man, just be cool, huh? - Put your hands on your head.
Get down on your knees.
Cross your legs.
Put your hands on your head.
Put your right hand back.
Bring your right hand back.
Hey, can I talk to him? - Yeah, go ahead.
- What happened, Terry? How did you get into this? For the money.
Your van was one of the first, Doug.
What do you think? I think you're the biggest loser I know.
You had some good friends.
Lots of luck with your new ones.
This is Malibu 103.
Roll one additional unit for transport.
West Road and Bird Avenue, over.
Somehow it's kind of hard to picture you at Disneyland.
Especially with five kids.
Well, you learn things like kids never have to go to the bathroom all at the same time.
Sounds like you hated it.
Oh, does it? I loved it.
Poncherello, I haven't had a laugh like this in years.
Hey, Jon, roll it again for us, huh? I'll get you for this.
It wasn't deliberate.
See, I was looking at some shots of Kathy and this You won't know when, but I'll get you.
Hey, Ponch, looks like first and 10.
Maybe I'll wait until you make lieutenant, huh? Or when you're just ready to retire.
Hey, wait a minute.
I look pretty good in this shot.