Dirty Jobs (2005) s01e15 Episode Script
Micro Algae Man
1 I'm Mike rowe, and this is my job.
I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty You're gonna get a little taste of what it's like to be a septic tank technician.
hardworking men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
Now, get ready to get dirty.
[ Coughs .]
Coming up on "dirty jobs," I find there's more to pet grooming than you would ever imagine.
Are we gonna squeeze the poop out of a dog? Yes.
Wha Then, I get the story on a mysterious red slime that can help you stay healthy.
We're here to annoy algae.
And later, this stuff gives your barbecue its sizzle.
It gives me the filthiest job I've ever had.
What the hell can happen that's dirtier than this? Well, I don't want to tell you everything right up front.
Yes! [ Coughs .]
Oh, god.
It's a dirty job someone's gotta do it aah! Oh! [ Coughs .]
It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it from the outside, it looks like a pretty normal house on a pretty normal street in a pretty normal neighborhood, but don't be fooled.
Not everything in palo alto is as it appears.
In fact, behind those garage doors, it's dog eat dog Or in some cases, cat eat cat, because inside this otherwise unassuming suburban house, classic pet grooming incorporated has set up shop, and what a shop it is.
Rowe: This is Dylan.
Dylan's one of the people who works here.
And what's gonna be going on here today, Dylan? So far, you got a cat you got to transfer from this cage into a bigger one.
You mean this one? Yeah, we're gonna put her in here, and you got to make sure both sides of the door are shut.
There's already somebody in here.
Oh, that's a stuffed animal.
That's funny.
You got a stuffed dog in a cat cage? Yes, we do.
It's a joke.
Yeah, I'm sure the cat's gonna laugh hysterically.
Does she have her claws and stuff? Yeah, she does.
Sometimes it helps if you go this way.
That darn cat.
[ Laughs .]
Come on, Maggie.
Wow.
That cat does not want to come out.
There you go, Maggie.
It's not just haircuts, though.
We're gonna do all sorts of stuff.
We're gonna do all sorts of things baths, just comb-outs.
[ Doorbell rings .]
You got company? It's a customer.
Hi.
Are you just dropping her off? Just dropping her off.
We'll take care of her.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, by the way, that's a beautiful ensemble you're sporting today, Dylan.
Would you like to wear one? Okay, I'm ready to groom.
All right.
[ Doorbell rings .]
Uh-oh.
Okay.
More people coming? Yep.
Nuthouse over here.
Here, buddy, it's okay.
Buddy, it's fine.
It's fine, it's fine.
I can't leave buddy.
I'm afraid he's gonna throw himself off the table here.
That's right.
You don't leave a dog.
Never leave a dog behind.
[ Barks .]
[ Doorbell rings .]
I got another customer coming.
Everybody, relax.
That's all right.
You're at the right space.
[ Barks .]
Holy cow! He's got a little bit of horse in him.
He can go out in the big kennel in the back.
There's a certain, uh There's a certain chaos here at the grooming place, Dylan.
[ Laughs .]
You haven't seen nothin' yet.
See all this long hair on his wee-wee? I do, yeah.
Yeah.
It's got to come off.
[ Laughs .]
Hmm.
The long hair off the wee-wee, huh? You want me to show you first? You know what? It's not just me.
It's me and buddy.
We both want you to show us.
Wow.
You don't really finesse it there, do you? It's for sanitation reasons why we do this.
Yeah.
And maybe he likes it just a little? Now, right here Whoa.
[ Laughter .]
Yeah.
Around the pooper shoot.
That's my favorite word for it pooper shoot.
That's a good word.
Always been partial to turd cutter myself, but I'm a simple man.
Oh, yeah, look at that.
That's fancy.
You are gonna be the pride of the neighborhood, buddy, and very popular with the ladies.
Okay, ready for the bath.
Ready for the bath, okay.
You hook him up here.
Let's hook all right.
Put your hand in there, and they like that.
[ Laughter .]
Dylan: All right.
I'll teach you the anal gland.
The what? The anal gland.
Okay, if you don't express anal glands, they can get hard, and then your dog's got to go in for surgery.
I know what all those words mean, but what's the bottom line? Are we gonna squeeze the poop out of a dog? Yes.
Wha Why isn't that on your list of fancy services? 'Cause we don't charge extra for that.
Oh, I see.
This is just something you do for fun.
Okay, you hold the tail up like this.
You go on each side here, like this.
Now, hold the tail with one hand.
Yes.
Just don't put your face down there.
[ Laughs .]
Right here at each side.
Yeah.
You just want me to squeeze this? Yep.
[ Laughs .]
That's why I say don't put your face there.
Well, what just happened? Where are you? There you are.
I mean, that wasn't the poo I was expecting.
That was like a, uh That's poison poo.
You know, that's like your appendix If it bursts, it could kill you.
Well, that's what that is on a dog, but they get impacted on a dog.
I had no idea.
Look at this.
There it is.
It's just like a poisonous zit just got popped that was somehow residing in the anus.
Yes.
That's fascinating.
Gee whiz.
Let's go, buddy.
After a couple hours at the pet groomer's, I was feeling pretty confident.
Or you can do that.
And Dylan thought I was finally ready to do this one particular job on my own.
Okay, you get to do his whizzer.
His whizzer? Whizzbanger.
[ Laughs .]
Right there.
Really? Turn him towards you so you can see better.
Oh, no, I got a great angle right here.
I see all I want to see.
Hey, buddy.
Hold still.
Believe me, this is not Look at that.
Good.
You are fancy.
Easy, spike.
I see why they call you "spike.
" Good boy.
He's blowing in my ear while I do this.
I don't blame him.
I think we got it pretty good.
Nope.
All that on top.
Oh, here, you go get it, then.
I'm not Oh, dear.
All this got to come off for sanitation.
Oh, for sanitation? Yep.
Otherwise, see all the yellow from the pee-pee stains? Yes.
No pee-pee stains.
Key rule at the pet groomer Pee-pee stains are not allowed.
Tartar stains aren't allowed, either.
He's ready for his teeth to be brushed.
Take your little toothpaste.
This is beef-flavored.
Open up.
Get your hand right here at the corner of their mouth.
Now hold that there.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
Just go this way and get those front choppers.
Front here.
Oh, look at that smile.
Beautiful.
Please don't tell me we floss.
No.
Coming up We got to shave around those.
Oh, dear.
I'm in dangerous territory at the pet groomer's.
You do not want to move now.
Then, to make this health product, you've got to make green algae see red.
Algae doesn't get much angrier than this.
And later, I'm feeling the heat from this filthy fuel for your backyard barbecue.
Tim, slow down, brother.
Where's the fire? Rowe: What do we got over here? We're gonna start from out here and go all the way down, down the legs, everything.
Okay.
[ Barks .]
Easy.
Okay.
Careful.
Uh-uh.
Settle.
Settle, settle.
So, the idea with this restraint system is he can't lie down, and he can't He can't jump off the table.
Oh.
Huh.
I didn't know he was able to do such a thing.
Settle.
Stop.
No.
No.
Now, this guy He's obviously wound up.
Trying to go anywhere but here.
Did it again.
Yep.
It looks like he's pretty well ready for the shower.
Yeah, he's got a couple more that Like the armpits and back around here.
Look at all this here.
Oh, dear.
We got to shave around those.
Good boy.
Fella, I feel your pain.
Can you put your hand right here? Yeah.
That way, I can get in there and do it around there.
Well, here.
Maybe I can get this angle a little better.
I've got a little more experience with this.
There you go.
Go the other way with the blade.
There you go.
Easy.
Easy.
No, easy.
Believe me, itchy, you do not want to move now.
[ Dog whimpering .]
Here we go.
That's pretty good.
Okay, let's get him in the tub.
Come on.
Get the Booty.
All right, big man, you ready? Rowe: Anyway, itchy, it's that time.
It's that time for you and I to get acquainted.
Forgive me.
It's my first day with my thumb up a dog's bottom.
Oh, geez.
Dylan: Oh, it's gonna be thick on you.
Thick? Oh, no.
Is it coming? Well, it's Something is just not Okay, here.
Go ahead, do me a favor.
Would you mind? I'll keep his tail up.
Oh.
Wow.
It's milking you.
Oh, god.
Geez.
Gosh.
Good grief.
Oh! You know, if you get a guy in the eye There you go.
Should have seen it coming.
Grooming a dog is hard enough, but grooming a cat Now, that's a whole different story, and that's why certified master groomer Andy Schultz is here to show us how it's done.
Schultz: This is Maggie.
Hey, Maggie, come on.
Things are about to happen to you.
Oh, it's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Set her on the table here.
Okeydokey.
We're gonna cut the nails.
Most cats don't like their nails done a whole lot, but that's the first thing I'm gonna do.
What I do is I put my arm on the back of the cat to weigh the cat down, and then you push on a foot, and you see all the nails pop out? They're like in a cartoon.
And you see that white part right there? And see where it turns red right there? That's blood.
That's a vein.
So you can cut right to that point, and you want to take these off.
Otherwise, you can get very hurt.
The cat or us? You.
[ Meows .]
They're not an easy thing to do.
They're really not.
Oh, there she is.
See it? Hidden in there.
Yeah, I see it there.
About like so? Okay.
Next one.
What's your personal feeling on declawing cats? Cats without nails are definitely a lot meaner.
Really? Yes, it changes their personality.
If I have any cat that comes in and they've been declawed, I watch them.
They can sometimes turn very mean very quickly.
Fold the ear back.
Right.
We have got an ear here that is just a study in wax.
Sorry, honey.
Obviously, this is for your own good.
Why is she wagging her tail? Because she's angry.
Now, when dogs wag their tails, they're happy.
Cats wag their tails Not so much.
That's the first sign she's getting upset.
Put the kitty down.
[ Meows .]
Oh, boy, she hates this.
[ Meows .]
Yeah.
I'm washing your throat.
Please don't tear mine out.
Get her tail.
Go down her tail.
Sure.
Brush the belly? Really? Yeah.
Uh-oh.
I got some suds in her eye.
You get it all out.
All right, this cat is rinsed.
Okay.
We're gonna towel-dry her first.
There we go.
Come on, cat, dry.
Never come back.
The pussycat.
Maggie, you are going home.
I got a Maggie here.
Oh, boy.
So long, Maggie.
[ Chuckles .]
Eight lives left.
This is mindy? Yes, this is little mindy.
Mindy's owner is here, and mindy got the works today.
Put her collar on her.
Okay.
And then this here you slip around her neck.
What the hell is that? It's a pretty for her.
Put it around her neck.
Oh, come on, send the dog out of here with its dignity.
It's a female.
She likes things like that.
You think so? Oh, good god.
Say bye-bye.
Oh, my god.
Where's the owner? Now, pick her up and take her out to the lady.
Come on, mindy.
Is this yours? What do you think? She's lovely.
You like the lavender? A lot of dogs would be uncomfortable going out with that in public, but she loves it.
It's the wrong leash.
Oh, is that right? Well, you can't have everything, ma'am.
What can I tell you? We're very busy here.
Look at that, spike.
Look at you.
You're a handsome boy.
Spike, let's go see mommy.
There's mommy.
What do you think? Yeah, you smell good.
That's actually me.
Oh.
This morning, I thought that pet grooming would be relatively clean work [ Sneezes .]
but after a day of shampooing angry cats, trimming the hair around a dog's whizzer, and squeezing anal glands, I can officially certify this As a dirty job.
[ Sneezes .]
Coming up, a place where the secret formula for better health includes green algae and red slime.
I'll take it from here, Jeremiah.
I understand scooping.
Jeremiah: [ Laughs .]
There you go.
Then Struemph: Shove that pole in that hole.
it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's chock full of charcoal dust.
Rowe: I think I might have found the clog.
No.
Rowe: Well, it's another beautiful morning here on the kona coast of Hawaii's big island, and today we've come to mera pharmaceuticals.
There it is.
I'm not sure exactly what goes on at mera pharmaceuticals, but I do know they're surrounded by a barbed-wire fence and when you drive up to the main gate, you're greeted by a festive, orange dumpster My kind of company.
Aha.
I knew I'd come to the right place as soon as I saw the red slime.
Apparently, they use the slime to make some very potent pills that can improve your health.
I couldn't wait to grab some of that gunk, but first I wanted to know how it was made, so I had a chat with Miguel olaizola.
Oh, great.
Yeah, biohazard.
Most people would run the other way when they see a sign like that, I suppose.
It's a good kind of biohazard.
The compound that we want to make is called astaxanthin.
Astaxanthin happens to be a very, very powerful antioxidant.
How much more powerful is astaxanthin than, say, vitamin "e"? According to some tests, as much as 500 times.
Good grief.
So the more astaxanthin you take, the better? Or how often do you take it? If you o.
D.
On the stuff, it will turn your poop red.
Interesting.
Man to man, you know, you look down and you see a toilet full of red poo, that's a bad day.
Yeah.
Astaxanthin is obviously made from algae.
It is made from algae.
It is made from microalgae, and what you see here are colonies, not individual cells.
Each little green ball is actually a whole bunch of cells in there.
We take a colony out of a plate like this.
You put those into liquid medium like this and let them grow.
You give them all the right nutrients, ph, temperature, and you make a lot of very happy algae with it.
So you get astaxanthin from happy algae? Not really.
First you need to make a lot of happy algae and then slowly you make them unhappy, and as they become unhappy, they make astaxanthin for you.
Before this turns into an episode of "Mr.
Rogers," let me be clear.
We have all this happy algae.
We know it's happy because it's green.
Because it's bright green, yeah.
But the happy algae is not generating the astaxanthin, which I understand is an antioxidant, which human beings need.
To get that, you have to turn the algae red.
We have to stress the algae so that it itself decides that it needs antioxidants, makes the antioxidants, and then we take them from it.
We're here To annoy algae, to make it unhappy.
Very much.
So job one here at mera pharmaceuticals is to piss off the green algae.
So that's what I did.
Right now, the green algae is feeling very confused.
Essentially, it's just left paradise, a very pleasant, turbulent environment where optimum photosynthesis and ideal temperatures were the norm.
But the easy life is over for this green algae because now I'm giving it the two things it hates Salt water and harsh sunlight.
After about five days, that got the algae so angry, it turned red, and that's when I drained the river and sucked the whole mess back into a holding tank, where the unsuspecting algae was about to endure unspeakable abuse.
Rowe: So this would be the centrifuge.
Jeremiah: This is it.
The product will come out of the tank, run right into the spinning bowl.
Excess water is pushed out of the back of the machine and our cake will form here, and that's the product we want.
Let's do it.
As soon as the excess water comes out over here, it should be clear.
Once it turns dark red, we know that our bowl is full.
We take the algae out.
So the centrifuge is taking all the water away from what's left of the angry algae, although, at this point, the algae is livid Pissed off.
Okay, well, now that it's done spinning, there's your surprise inside.
That's the good stuff right there.
All right, what do we do with it now? Put it in its new home, which is gonna be this bag.
Just gonna scoop your hand in here.
And you're gonna pull it out.
And you're gonna put it in the bag.
Oh! It can be messy.
I'll take it from here, Jeremiah.
I understand scooping.
The good news is that this slimy blob is one step closer to getting off my hands and into some gelcaps.
The bad news involves a little discovery I made about astaxanthin.
Let's save that for later.
Algae doesn't get much angrier than this.
Coming up, crispy, red algae chips.
Very tasty, actually.
Good god, man, you will eat virtually anything.
Just about.
Then Meet the filthy folks who put the sizzle in your steak.
Rowe: Is this as dirty as I'm gonna get? No, Mike, we're gonna get a lot dirtier.
You've made a very fine mess of yourself.
Yeah, well, it's angry algae.
I really never had a chance, did I? It's got the best of you, I can see.
What do you reckon we're looking at here in the way of market value? For a bag roughly $1,000.
So you have half a bag I just dropped 40 cents.
It's coming out of your wallet, bud.
Really? So about $1,000 a bag if it's properly bagged? Yes.
Well, then let me Here.
You've made quite the mess of it, but okay.
Every bit counts.
After the unhappy algae is scooped out of the centrifuge and temporarily bagged, it goes through a process called homogenization or cell cracking.
Then it's dried in this giant pizza-oven-looking thing and comes out looking a bit like that.
Why, Miguel, does the unhappy algae have to suffer the further indignity of having its cells cracked? The problem is one of the things that the algae do when they become red is they make a very tough shell around themselves.
That shell you cannot digest, we cannot digest.
So unless it's physically cracked, any of this product that you would take It would go right through you.
You would end up with red stool.
I don't want to talk about the red stool anymore.
It makes me uncomfortable.
This stuff, however, doesn't look anything at all like what we started with.
It's all dried.
It has only about 3% moisture.
Very tasty, actually.
Good god, man.
You will eat virtually anything.
Just about.
You know what it tastes like? It tastes like the stuff that Sushi's wrapped in.
Yes, it's the same thing.
It's dried algae.
Well, eventually, this unhappy algae is destined to get into a caplet form.
Are we getting closer to that? We're getting closer to that.
We're going to show you how we can make small batches of the oil that we're going to extract from the algae.
We're very rich in astaxanthin.
I want you to add a few more flakes to our tub.
Okay.
A large production line is used to make astaxanthin gelcaps, but just to demonstrate the process, Miguel is blending up a small batch for me.
All day long, I've been trying to get the water away from the sediment.
Now the water is actually our friend.
Now it's gonna help us.
We have some oil.
How much? Just keep adding it.
It will become a bit like mayonnaise.
Oh, great.
And what's happening now is the oil is pulling the astaxanthin, the pigment that we really want, out of the biomass.
So that's what will end up going into the pills.
It's actually a very clean extract not all the algae, everything you've been getting on your shirt today.
So at this point forward, all we're doing is getting rid of everything we don't want.
Exactly.
We're going to take some samples in some tubes.
We're gonna make sure that everything's separated okay.
And basically, that's what the final product is going to look like that's going to go into one of the pills.
Well, we had quite a time here today at mera pharmaceuticals, made lots of algae very, very unhappy, and had a few laughs along the way.
But, you know, your health is no laughing matter.
So if you've been feeling tired or run-down or not yourself lately, do what I do.
Rely on astafactor with the active ingredient astaxanthin.
It's the most powerful antioxidant your money or anybody else's money can buy.
That's why I take it, and that's why you should, too.
You'll feel good about yourself, and you'll look great, too.
Yes, it was a hilarious ending until I discovered the joke was on me because the red pigment in astaxanthin Well, it doesn't wash off.
Yeah, it's all about the glamour, friends.
Today we've come to arneson sawmill in steelville, Missouri.
Since 1983, they've been turning beautiful pieces of red oak and white oak into two-by-fours and three-by-fours and six-by-sixes and railroad ties, but we haven't come here today to show you the beautiful pieces of timber.
We've come here for the crap.
Arneson manufactures 18,000 board feet of lumber every day.
When that lumber is cut and shaped for the building industry, there's naturally a lot of scrap wood left over.
But that wood isn't wasted.
Oh, no.
It's taken down this quaint country Lane to one of the dirtiest places I have ever been, struemph charcoal.
Nobody buys more crappy lumber than Kurt struemph.
This is Kurt, and we're at his place right now, which is kind of in the middle of the woods, I reckon.
Yes.
And here at this particular facility, you've got bundles and bundles of what appears to be worthless wood spread out through the woods.
Yeah, roughly about 7,000 to 10,000.
10,000 bundles of waste wood.
What do you do with it? Well, we make charcoal out of it.
Am I gonna get dirty today? You're gonna get dirty, Mike.
What's the first step? First step is we're gonna empty a charcoal kiln.
Now, just so I'm clear about it, burning the wood seems like a simple enough thing, but the finished product in charcoal needs to be able to hold a flame.
So if you burn it now, how are you able to light it later? As imposed into a barbecue grill? Yeah.
Well, we usually light it with a little bit of lighter fluid and a match.
I guess what I'm saying is if it burns now Mm-hmm.
why would this hold a flame? This, to me, is a great mystery.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
We'll figure it out down at the processing point.
Right now, we just want to separate the stuff that burnt from the stuff that didn't.
That's right.
Who's that driving, by the way? That's my dad, Henry.
[ Coughs .]
You guys don't wear a mask or anything? No, it's not that bad, Mike.
Black lung? No, Mike, you won't get black lung.
It's 100% natural.
Anything natural's not supposed to hurt you.
Is that right? See, I've read a lot of stuff over the years about how smoke can be a problem for the average Yeah? Well, my grandpa had a heart attack.
They had to do heart surgery on him.
And he went in, and his lungs, they said, was like a 9-year-old, and he's been in this for 45 years.
Really? If it was gonna kill somebody, it'd probably kill him.
All right, Henry.
Coming up I make some new friends down at the charcoal factory.
You're gonna make these guys have to work overtime.
I'm just a human being.
Is it just me, or is anybody else baffled about how wood that's been burned can still burn? Struemph: It's actually not been burned, it's been charred.
It's been charred.
It's charred, not burned.
Mike, right here's what we call unburnt.
See how big that log is? It didn't burn, which there are small pieces in here that did not burn.
We'll get to them.
So I'm just looking for stuff here that didn't char.
And it looks like this bucket's in pretty good shape.
You picked the one there that's pretty big.
Most of the time, we just kind of hit that.
There you go, and it broke.
We throw it back in the bucket and let her go.
That's the test that it's charred.
That it's charred.
I think, Mike, you missed a piece right there.
I may have.
We'll see.
You didn't.
Very good.
[ Chuckles .]
God, Kurt.
It's black gold, man.
We're rich.
What do you think, huh? I think it's fantastic.
I wish I would have worn my white getup.
I'm not sure about this one.
That's unburnt, bud.
You see that? You got an eye.
Now, they also use some of this for cosmetics.
Well, my skin just feels smooth and supple right now.
And you look fantastic.
Thank you.
Actually, there's 80% charcoal in mascara for women.
The man is a font of endless charcoal-related information.
[ Coughs .]
Aah.
Unloading a charcoal kiln [ coughs .]
You got to get the metal bands [Coughs.]
That hold the charcoal together.
You got to make sure those are removed.
Otherwise, when it goes down to the manufacturing part, it'll get all wrapped in there [coughs.]
Wreak all kinds of havoc.
The good news is [coughs.]
The good news is it's perfectly safe.
That would be unburnt, Mike.
What do we have here? That was good, dad.
[ Coughs .]
This has got to be the dirtiest part of your day, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
This is not the dirtiest part, no.
What the hell can happen that's dirtier than this? I don't want to tell you everything right up front.
You may get in the car and leave.
Rowe: So Henry's gonna take Everything that's being unloaded, he's putting it in the back of that paneled truck, and that, in turn, is gonna be driven down to the processing plant, where other mysterious things are gonna happen to it.
Struemph: That's right.
So, Mike, you want a dip? Chaw? Yeah.
Just a pinch between my cheek and gum? Yeah.
You know what? I gave it up.
I don't have any vices anymore, except for the Well, the liquor And the women Occasional cigar.
Sure.
I thought the kilns were dirty, but the processing plant, which is just down the hill in the holler, redefined the word "dirty.
" Say hi to pickle.
She's the struemph charcoal mascot.
She's a white border collie.
So this is a hopper, right? Yes, Mike.
All right, and what happens here? You just feed this throughout the day? We keep feeding it, and it runs down onto a conveyor, which the conveyor runs into the shaker, which shakes the coal and sizes it.
You mentioned a conveyor belt.
Where's that? That's underneath this.
The wood in the hopper is used to make lump charcoal, which is different from the briquettes that most people are used to seeing.
So the charcoal that's fallen through the hopper When we lose sight of it, it basically is falling onto this conveyor belt and coming up this direction.
And where's it headed first? It's gonna go up the conveyor belt into the shaker, which will separate the little pieces from the big pieces.
So after it gets sorted, it goes, eventually, into a bagging scenario, right? That's further down the line? That's further down the line.
That's a dirty job? It's a dirty job.
Shocking.
Now we're getting to the easy part.
What could be simpler than putting 10 pounds of charcoal into a bag, handing it to someone else who closes the bag, and feeds it through a machine that sews it shut? And then the bag gets stacked on a pallet.
I can do that.
So this is really the pressure position right here? Yep, you're the man.
Final inspection, good, clean, 10-pound bag, and if I slow things down, then the whole line stops.
That's pretty much it.
That's all right.
In the bottom of the ninth, I want the ball.
The whole idea to this, Mike, is to keep up with the machine.
Right, right, right.
You're there.
Unburnt, unburnt.
This bag personally inspected by yours truly.
How many 10 pounds you gonna put in that bag? Rowe: Crap, overdid it.
You're gonna make these guys have to work overtime.
They got a quota to get.
I'm just a human being.
I'm doing the best I can here.
They had to turn off the machine because I couldn't keep up.
You're just giving them a good shake and letting them go straight through? After you fold the corners in.
Let me give that a shot.
Do you mind? Have at it.
Like that? Yep.
This is a job I can get behind.
Damn, Tim, slow down, brother.
Where's the fire? Get them bags out of my way, Mike.
I'm sorry, Tim.
I'm doing what I can.
Faulty bags.
First day at the charcoal plant.
Struemph: Let's move on down the line.
Sure.
Uh, you better pick up the beat, Mike.
There's never been four bags laying on the pallet.
There's a skid here waiting to be stacked never.
You're getting ready to get five.
This is a big, exciting day for everyone.
Four bags backed up.
Just like a nightmare, they just keep coming.
I don't know where to put them.
You got nine in a row here.
We only put eight on a stack.
Well, talk to your son.
He's been supervising me.
That's what I'm trying to say.
He don't know everything yet.
That's why I got to still stick around.
Well, Henry, I'm glad you're here.
Coming up Behind this door is a truly dirty job.
I'm a dirty, dirty boy.
Behind this door is a truly dirty job, a job so dirty and so vile that Kurt won't even do it.
That's why Tim has to do it.
Tim, what's behind the door? A bunch of dust.
Is it any different than the dust I'm already covered with? It's a little thicker.
Where's the dust come from? It comes from the fines that go through the shaker, and it settles at the bottom, and it's like walking through water.
Well, water's not so bad, is it? You'll find out.
Here we go.
I'll find out right now.
That is a very, very dirty closet.
Yes, and it gets that way quite often.
Oh, man, you're right.
Look at that.
That is the finest dust I've ever seen.
You don't have any concerns about this going in you? Not really.
I don't stay in here long enough for it to affect me.
You said it takes you an hour and a half to take care of it.
Yeah, it ain't very long.
All right.
Well, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna hop over here, take that broom, and push that dust towards the door.
And you're gonna use the shovel and shovel it into this conveyor here.
And where's it gonna go in the conveyor? When it goes up the conveyor, it goes out into the fines, where the little chunks of charcoal go.
So you're gonna go over there, and you're gonna sweep.
How do we know when to turn this conveyor on? I'm gonna give that order here in just a second.
Go ahead! How you doing over there? Can't talk.
You got one dirty-ass job, Tim.
This is the dirtiest job I've ever seen.
[ Coughs .]
Ah.
[ Coughs .]
What the hell happened? Well, obviously, we've got the elevator You must have done your job wrong in there.
You've got it choked up.
How could I have done it wrong? All I did was shovel stuff in a conveyor.
You probably shoveled too much in there too fast, and it's got our pipe up here choked up.
You're gonna have to get in there, and there's a pipe in there up there on top of that pile.
A light? You got to take that pole and shove it up in that hole and get it cleaned out so we can get that shaker house cleaned out.
All right.
No need to yell.
I'm going in.
You'll see a pipe up there.
[ Coughs .]
I just push this pipe up in that pipe? Push that pipe up through there, that pipe that you got.
Push it up through there, and it should come rolling out.
I think I might have found the clog.
No.
You get it? Your problem is you got some dust in here.
Probably got a couple chunks or something up in it.
Chunks? [ Coughs .]
The only chunks I know are the ones coming up from my lungs.
Okay, pull your pipe out, and I'll turn it on right quick, and we'll see if it's open.
Turn it on right quick! He's turning it on right quick to see if it's open.
Yes! Yeah, I think it's open.
Oh, crap! [ Coughs .]
God.
Kurt.
Yeah, did you get it? I'll tell you what I know.
You're a dirty man.
Yeah, we got it.
This is what happens in the charcoal business.
And because nothing is ever wasted in the charcoal business, that dirty, filthy dust is scraped up Loaded onto trucks, and shipped to a company that makes briquettes.
And all of that so you can have a barbecue in your backyard.
Well, nothing says Missouri like pork steaks, and it's also the best way to test out the real efficacy of this charcoal.
This is really just a beautiful end to a really, really crappy day, but I appreciate you having us over here.
How long do they cook? Probably a half-hour, 45 minutes.
Well, I've seen some vile, dirty, disgusting, putrid, unforgettable things over the last couple of months, but in my whole adult life, I've never been dirtier than I am right now.
Take a look at me.
I'm a dirty, dirty boy, and I couldn't have done it without a dirty, dirty crew.
They're back here, and I wanted to Mark this occasion just by quickly introducing everybody.
Look at rhea.
Look at how she works right there.
This is our audio girl Filthy from top to bottom, which is why I love her.
[ Smooches .]
You're something else.
This is Dave barsky, a dear friend of mine who's never been clean a day in his life.
This is Troy paff.
Nobody shoots video like Troy paff, with the exception of Doug glover, who is over here right now.
He's our camera guy as well.
He could put that whole sandwich in his mouth at once if he wanted to, but he won't.
This is a dog called woogie.
He's not part of the crew, but he's kind of dirty, which is kind of nice.
Look at that.
That's will over here.
He's a coordinator or a P.
A.
or something like that.
He'll do virtually anything I ask him to.
Of course, our host.
Kurt, I just want to say to you and your dad over here, Henry, that I've been hearing about Southern hospitality all my life, but the truth is, you don't have to come any further than Cuba, Missouri.
Steelville.
Oh, is that where you're from? Let's not split hairs.
I was trying to compliment you, damn it.
Open up that thing and give me one last look at the meat.
No.
Come on.
Come on, show me the meat.
Look at that.
That's what hospitality's all about.
And that's what we're gonna be eating, everybody.
Hey, it sure has been nice of you to watch.
I'm grateful.
I'm not much of a cameraman, and I'm not much at goodbyes, so goodbye.
Hey, my friends at the discovery channel are always looking for new and exciting ways to get me filthy dirty, so do me a favor.
If you have a dirty job, send a videotape of you doing the job.
If it's dirty enough, we'll put it on the air, and if it's filthy stinkin' dirty, I'll come out and do it with you.
All the information you need is on the website Discovery.
com/dirtyjobs.
There you go.
Now clean yourself up.
Oh, geez.
[ Grunting .]
Man: Can you do it? Here, hold this camera.
Ready? Grab ahold of me.
I gotcha.
[ Laughter .]
Captions by vitac captions paid for by discovery communications My name's Mike rowe, and I've put a pig on a pedestal.
Why? Because even though he works in the dirt, this noble creature is the embodiment of hard work, self-sacrifice, and a good-natured willingness to get the job done, no matter how dirty.
Day after day, he goes about his business without complaint.
And night after night, he brings home the bacon.
[ Pig snorts .]
I am sorry I said that.
What's on your pedestal?
I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty You're gonna get a little taste of what it's like to be a septic tank technician.
hardworking men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
Now, get ready to get dirty.
[ Coughs .]
Coming up on "dirty jobs," I find there's more to pet grooming than you would ever imagine.
Are we gonna squeeze the poop out of a dog? Yes.
Wha Then, I get the story on a mysterious red slime that can help you stay healthy.
We're here to annoy algae.
And later, this stuff gives your barbecue its sizzle.
It gives me the filthiest job I've ever had.
What the hell can happen that's dirtier than this? Well, I don't want to tell you everything right up front.
Yes! [ Coughs .]
Oh, god.
It's a dirty job someone's gotta do it aah! Oh! [ Coughs .]
It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it from the outside, it looks like a pretty normal house on a pretty normal street in a pretty normal neighborhood, but don't be fooled.
Not everything in palo alto is as it appears.
In fact, behind those garage doors, it's dog eat dog Or in some cases, cat eat cat, because inside this otherwise unassuming suburban house, classic pet grooming incorporated has set up shop, and what a shop it is.
Rowe: This is Dylan.
Dylan's one of the people who works here.
And what's gonna be going on here today, Dylan? So far, you got a cat you got to transfer from this cage into a bigger one.
You mean this one? Yeah, we're gonna put her in here, and you got to make sure both sides of the door are shut.
There's already somebody in here.
Oh, that's a stuffed animal.
That's funny.
You got a stuffed dog in a cat cage? Yes, we do.
It's a joke.
Yeah, I'm sure the cat's gonna laugh hysterically.
Does she have her claws and stuff? Yeah, she does.
Sometimes it helps if you go this way.
That darn cat.
[ Laughs .]
Come on, Maggie.
Wow.
That cat does not want to come out.
There you go, Maggie.
It's not just haircuts, though.
We're gonna do all sorts of stuff.
We're gonna do all sorts of things baths, just comb-outs.
[ Doorbell rings .]
You got company? It's a customer.
Hi.
Are you just dropping her off? Just dropping her off.
We'll take care of her.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, by the way, that's a beautiful ensemble you're sporting today, Dylan.
Would you like to wear one? Okay, I'm ready to groom.
All right.
[ Doorbell rings .]
Uh-oh.
Okay.
More people coming? Yep.
Nuthouse over here.
Here, buddy, it's okay.
Buddy, it's fine.
It's fine, it's fine.
I can't leave buddy.
I'm afraid he's gonna throw himself off the table here.
That's right.
You don't leave a dog.
Never leave a dog behind.
[ Barks .]
[ Doorbell rings .]
I got another customer coming.
Everybody, relax.
That's all right.
You're at the right space.
[ Barks .]
Holy cow! He's got a little bit of horse in him.
He can go out in the big kennel in the back.
There's a certain, uh There's a certain chaos here at the grooming place, Dylan.
[ Laughs .]
You haven't seen nothin' yet.
See all this long hair on his wee-wee? I do, yeah.
Yeah.
It's got to come off.
[ Laughs .]
Hmm.
The long hair off the wee-wee, huh? You want me to show you first? You know what? It's not just me.
It's me and buddy.
We both want you to show us.
Wow.
You don't really finesse it there, do you? It's for sanitation reasons why we do this.
Yeah.
And maybe he likes it just a little? Now, right here Whoa.
[ Laughter .]
Yeah.
Around the pooper shoot.
That's my favorite word for it pooper shoot.
That's a good word.
Always been partial to turd cutter myself, but I'm a simple man.
Oh, yeah, look at that.
That's fancy.
You are gonna be the pride of the neighborhood, buddy, and very popular with the ladies.
Okay, ready for the bath.
Ready for the bath, okay.
You hook him up here.
Let's hook all right.
Put your hand in there, and they like that.
[ Laughter .]
Dylan: All right.
I'll teach you the anal gland.
The what? The anal gland.
Okay, if you don't express anal glands, they can get hard, and then your dog's got to go in for surgery.
I know what all those words mean, but what's the bottom line? Are we gonna squeeze the poop out of a dog? Yes.
Wha Why isn't that on your list of fancy services? 'Cause we don't charge extra for that.
Oh, I see.
This is just something you do for fun.
Okay, you hold the tail up like this.
You go on each side here, like this.
Now, hold the tail with one hand.
Yes.
Just don't put your face down there.
[ Laughs .]
Right here at each side.
Yeah.
You just want me to squeeze this? Yep.
[ Laughs .]
That's why I say don't put your face there.
Well, what just happened? Where are you? There you are.
I mean, that wasn't the poo I was expecting.
That was like a, uh That's poison poo.
You know, that's like your appendix If it bursts, it could kill you.
Well, that's what that is on a dog, but they get impacted on a dog.
I had no idea.
Look at this.
There it is.
It's just like a poisonous zit just got popped that was somehow residing in the anus.
Yes.
That's fascinating.
Gee whiz.
Let's go, buddy.
After a couple hours at the pet groomer's, I was feeling pretty confident.
Or you can do that.
And Dylan thought I was finally ready to do this one particular job on my own.
Okay, you get to do his whizzer.
His whizzer? Whizzbanger.
[ Laughs .]
Right there.
Really? Turn him towards you so you can see better.
Oh, no, I got a great angle right here.
I see all I want to see.
Hey, buddy.
Hold still.
Believe me, this is not Look at that.
Good.
You are fancy.
Easy, spike.
I see why they call you "spike.
" Good boy.
He's blowing in my ear while I do this.
I don't blame him.
I think we got it pretty good.
Nope.
All that on top.
Oh, here, you go get it, then.
I'm not Oh, dear.
All this got to come off for sanitation.
Oh, for sanitation? Yep.
Otherwise, see all the yellow from the pee-pee stains? Yes.
No pee-pee stains.
Key rule at the pet groomer Pee-pee stains are not allowed.
Tartar stains aren't allowed, either.
He's ready for his teeth to be brushed.
Take your little toothpaste.
This is beef-flavored.
Open up.
Get your hand right here at the corner of their mouth.
Now hold that there.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
Just go this way and get those front choppers.
Front here.
Oh, look at that smile.
Beautiful.
Please don't tell me we floss.
No.
Coming up We got to shave around those.
Oh, dear.
I'm in dangerous territory at the pet groomer's.
You do not want to move now.
Then, to make this health product, you've got to make green algae see red.
Algae doesn't get much angrier than this.
And later, I'm feeling the heat from this filthy fuel for your backyard barbecue.
Tim, slow down, brother.
Where's the fire? Rowe: What do we got over here? We're gonna start from out here and go all the way down, down the legs, everything.
Okay.
[ Barks .]
Easy.
Okay.
Careful.
Uh-uh.
Settle.
Settle, settle.
So, the idea with this restraint system is he can't lie down, and he can't He can't jump off the table.
Oh.
Huh.
I didn't know he was able to do such a thing.
Settle.
Stop.
No.
No.
Now, this guy He's obviously wound up.
Trying to go anywhere but here.
Did it again.
Yep.
It looks like he's pretty well ready for the shower.
Yeah, he's got a couple more that Like the armpits and back around here.
Look at all this here.
Oh, dear.
We got to shave around those.
Good boy.
Fella, I feel your pain.
Can you put your hand right here? Yeah.
That way, I can get in there and do it around there.
Well, here.
Maybe I can get this angle a little better.
I've got a little more experience with this.
There you go.
Go the other way with the blade.
There you go.
Easy.
Easy.
No, easy.
Believe me, itchy, you do not want to move now.
[ Dog whimpering .]
Here we go.
That's pretty good.
Okay, let's get him in the tub.
Come on.
Get the Booty.
All right, big man, you ready? Rowe: Anyway, itchy, it's that time.
It's that time for you and I to get acquainted.
Forgive me.
It's my first day with my thumb up a dog's bottom.
Oh, geez.
Dylan: Oh, it's gonna be thick on you.
Thick? Oh, no.
Is it coming? Well, it's Something is just not Okay, here.
Go ahead, do me a favor.
Would you mind? I'll keep his tail up.
Oh.
Wow.
It's milking you.
Oh, god.
Geez.
Gosh.
Good grief.
Oh! You know, if you get a guy in the eye There you go.
Should have seen it coming.
Grooming a dog is hard enough, but grooming a cat Now, that's a whole different story, and that's why certified master groomer Andy Schultz is here to show us how it's done.
Schultz: This is Maggie.
Hey, Maggie, come on.
Things are about to happen to you.
Oh, it's gonna be great.
It's gonna be great.
Set her on the table here.
Okeydokey.
We're gonna cut the nails.
Most cats don't like their nails done a whole lot, but that's the first thing I'm gonna do.
What I do is I put my arm on the back of the cat to weigh the cat down, and then you push on a foot, and you see all the nails pop out? They're like in a cartoon.
And you see that white part right there? And see where it turns red right there? That's blood.
That's a vein.
So you can cut right to that point, and you want to take these off.
Otherwise, you can get very hurt.
The cat or us? You.
[ Meows .]
They're not an easy thing to do.
They're really not.
Oh, there she is.
See it? Hidden in there.
Yeah, I see it there.
About like so? Okay.
Next one.
What's your personal feeling on declawing cats? Cats without nails are definitely a lot meaner.
Really? Yes, it changes their personality.
If I have any cat that comes in and they've been declawed, I watch them.
They can sometimes turn very mean very quickly.
Fold the ear back.
Right.
We have got an ear here that is just a study in wax.
Sorry, honey.
Obviously, this is for your own good.
Why is she wagging her tail? Because she's angry.
Now, when dogs wag their tails, they're happy.
Cats wag their tails Not so much.
That's the first sign she's getting upset.
Put the kitty down.
[ Meows .]
Oh, boy, she hates this.
[ Meows .]
Yeah.
I'm washing your throat.
Please don't tear mine out.
Get her tail.
Go down her tail.
Sure.
Brush the belly? Really? Yeah.
Uh-oh.
I got some suds in her eye.
You get it all out.
All right, this cat is rinsed.
Okay.
We're gonna towel-dry her first.
There we go.
Come on, cat, dry.
Never come back.
The pussycat.
Maggie, you are going home.
I got a Maggie here.
Oh, boy.
So long, Maggie.
[ Chuckles .]
Eight lives left.
This is mindy? Yes, this is little mindy.
Mindy's owner is here, and mindy got the works today.
Put her collar on her.
Okay.
And then this here you slip around her neck.
What the hell is that? It's a pretty for her.
Put it around her neck.
Oh, come on, send the dog out of here with its dignity.
It's a female.
She likes things like that.
You think so? Oh, good god.
Say bye-bye.
Oh, my god.
Where's the owner? Now, pick her up and take her out to the lady.
Come on, mindy.
Is this yours? What do you think? She's lovely.
You like the lavender? A lot of dogs would be uncomfortable going out with that in public, but she loves it.
It's the wrong leash.
Oh, is that right? Well, you can't have everything, ma'am.
What can I tell you? We're very busy here.
Look at that, spike.
Look at you.
You're a handsome boy.
Spike, let's go see mommy.
There's mommy.
What do you think? Yeah, you smell good.
That's actually me.
Oh.
This morning, I thought that pet grooming would be relatively clean work [ Sneezes .]
but after a day of shampooing angry cats, trimming the hair around a dog's whizzer, and squeezing anal glands, I can officially certify this As a dirty job.
[ Sneezes .]
Coming up, a place where the secret formula for better health includes green algae and red slime.
I'll take it from here, Jeremiah.
I understand scooping.
Jeremiah: [ Laughs .]
There you go.
Then Struemph: Shove that pole in that hole.
it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's chock full of charcoal dust.
Rowe: I think I might have found the clog.
No.
Rowe: Well, it's another beautiful morning here on the kona coast of Hawaii's big island, and today we've come to mera pharmaceuticals.
There it is.
I'm not sure exactly what goes on at mera pharmaceuticals, but I do know they're surrounded by a barbed-wire fence and when you drive up to the main gate, you're greeted by a festive, orange dumpster My kind of company.
Aha.
I knew I'd come to the right place as soon as I saw the red slime.
Apparently, they use the slime to make some very potent pills that can improve your health.
I couldn't wait to grab some of that gunk, but first I wanted to know how it was made, so I had a chat with Miguel olaizola.
Oh, great.
Yeah, biohazard.
Most people would run the other way when they see a sign like that, I suppose.
It's a good kind of biohazard.
The compound that we want to make is called astaxanthin.
Astaxanthin happens to be a very, very powerful antioxidant.
How much more powerful is astaxanthin than, say, vitamin "e"? According to some tests, as much as 500 times.
Good grief.
So the more astaxanthin you take, the better? Or how often do you take it? If you o.
D.
On the stuff, it will turn your poop red.
Interesting.
Man to man, you know, you look down and you see a toilet full of red poo, that's a bad day.
Yeah.
Astaxanthin is obviously made from algae.
It is made from algae.
It is made from microalgae, and what you see here are colonies, not individual cells.
Each little green ball is actually a whole bunch of cells in there.
We take a colony out of a plate like this.
You put those into liquid medium like this and let them grow.
You give them all the right nutrients, ph, temperature, and you make a lot of very happy algae with it.
So you get astaxanthin from happy algae? Not really.
First you need to make a lot of happy algae and then slowly you make them unhappy, and as they become unhappy, they make astaxanthin for you.
Before this turns into an episode of "Mr.
Rogers," let me be clear.
We have all this happy algae.
We know it's happy because it's green.
Because it's bright green, yeah.
But the happy algae is not generating the astaxanthin, which I understand is an antioxidant, which human beings need.
To get that, you have to turn the algae red.
We have to stress the algae so that it itself decides that it needs antioxidants, makes the antioxidants, and then we take them from it.
We're here To annoy algae, to make it unhappy.
Very much.
So job one here at mera pharmaceuticals is to piss off the green algae.
So that's what I did.
Right now, the green algae is feeling very confused.
Essentially, it's just left paradise, a very pleasant, turbulent environment where optimum photosynthesis and ideal temperatures were the norm.
But the easy life is over for this green algae because now I'm giving it the two things it hates Salt water and harsh sunlight.
After about five days, that got the algae so angry, it turned red, and that's when I drained the river and sucked the whole mess back into a holding tank, where the unsuspecting algae was about to endure unspeakable abuse.
Rowe: So this would be the centrifuge.
Jeremiah: This is it.
The product will come out of the tank, run right into the spinning bowl.
Excess water is pushed out of the back of the machine and our cake will form here, and that's the product we want.
Let's do it.
As soon as the excess water comes out over here, it should be clear.
Once it turns dark red, we know that our bowl is full.
We take the algae out.
So the centrifuge is taking all the water away from what's left of the angry algae, although, at this point, the algae is livid Pissed off.
Okay, well, now that it's done spinning, there's your surprise inside.
That's the good stuff right there.
All right, what do we do with it now? Put it in its new home, which is gonna be this bag.
Just gonna scoop your hand in here.
And you're gonna pull it out.
And you're gonna put it in the bag.
Oh! It can be messy.
I'll take it from here, Jeremiah.
I understand scooping.
The good news is that this slimy blob is one step closer to getting off my hands and into some gelcaps.
The bad news involves a little discovery I made about astaxanthin.
Let's save that for later.
Algae doesn't get much angrier than this.
Coming up, crispy, red algae chips.
Very tasty, actually.
Good god, man, you will eat virtually anything.
Just about.
Then Meet the filthy folks who put the sizzle in your steak.
Rowe: Is this as dirty as I'm gonna get? No, Mike, we're gonna get a lot dirtier.
You've made a very fine mess of yourself.
Yeah, well, it's angry algae.
I really never had a chance, did I? It's got the best of you, I can see.
What do you reckon we're looking at here in the way of market value? For a bag roughly $1,000.
So you have half a bag I just dropped 40 cents.
It's coming out of your wallet, bud.
Really? So about $1,000 a bag if it's properly bagged? Yes.
Well, then let me Here.
You've made quite the mess of it, but okay.
Every bit counts.
After the unhappy algae is scooped out of the centrifuge and temporarily bagged, it goes through a process called homogenization or cell cracking.
Then it's dried in this giant pizza-oven-looking thing and comes out looking a bit like that.
Why, Miguel, does the unhappy algae have to suffer the further indignity of having its cells cracked? The problem is one of the things that the algae do when they become red is they make a very tough shell around themselves.
That shell you cannot digest, we cannot digest.
So unless it's physically cracked, any of this product that you would take It would go right through you.
You would end up with red stool.
I don't want to talk about the red stool anymore.
It makes me uncomfortable.
This stuff, however, doesn't look anything at all like what we started with.
It's all dried.
It has only about 3% moisture.
Very tasty, actually.
Good god, man.
You will eat virtually anything.
Just about.
You know what it tastes like? It tastes like the stuff that Sushi's wrapped in.
Yes, it's the same thing.
It's dried algae.
Well, eventually, this unhappy algae is destined to get into a caplet form.
Are we getting closer to that? We're getting closer to that.
We're going to show you how we can make small batches of the oil that we're going to extract from the algae.
We're very rich in astaxanthin.
I want you to add a few more flakes to our tub.
Okay.
A large production line is used to make astaxanthin gelcaps, but just to demonstrate the process, Miguel is blending up a small batch for me.
All day long, I've been trying to get the water away from the sediment.
Now the water is actually our friend.
Now it's gonna help us.
We have some oil.
How much? Just keep adding it.
It will become a bit like mayonnaise.
Oh, great.
And what's happening now is the oil is pulling the astaxanthin, the pigment that we really want, out of the biomass.
So that's what will end up going into the pills.
It's actually a very clean extract not all the algae, everything you've been getting on your shirt today.
So at this point forward, all we're doing is getting rid of everything we don't want.
Exactly.
We're going to take some samples in some tubes.
We're gonna make sure that everything's separated okay.
And basically, that's what the final product is going to look like that's going to go into one of the pills.
Well, we had quite a time here today at mera pharmaceuticals, made lots of algae very, very unhappy, and had a few laughs along the way.
But, you know, your health is no laughing matter.
So if you've been feeling tired or run-down or not yourself lately, do what I do.
Rely on astafactor with the active ingredient astaxanthin.
It's the most powerful antioxidant your money or anybody else's money can buy.
That's why I take it, and that's why you should, too.
You'll feel good about yourself, and you'll look great, too.
Yes, it was a hilarious ending until I discovered the joke was on me because the red pigment in astaxanthin Well, it doesn't wash off.
Yeah, it's all about the glamour, friends.
Today we've come to arneson sawmill in steelville, Missouri.
Since 1983, they've been turning beautiful pieces of red oak and white oak into two-by-fours and three-by-fours and six-by-sixes and railroad ties, but we haven't come here today to show you the beautiful pieces of timber.
We've come here for the crap.
Arneson manufactures 18,000 board feet of lumber every day.
When that lumber is cut and shaped for the building industry, there's naturally a lot of scrap wood left over.
But that wood isn't wasted.
Oh, no.
It's taken down this quaint country Lane to one of the dirtiest places I have ever been, struemph charcoal.
Nobody buys more crappy lumber than Kurt struemph.
This is Kurt, and we're at his place right now, which is kind of in the middle of the woods, I reckon.
Yes.
And here at this particular facility, you've got bundles and bundles of what appears to be worthless wood spread out through the woods.
Yeah, roughly about 7,000 to 10,000.
10,000 bundles of waste wood.
What do you do with it? Well, we make charcoal out of it.
Am I gonna get dirty today? You're gonna get dirty, Mike.
What's the first step? First step is we're gonna empty a charcoal kiln.
Now, just so I'm clear about it, burning the wood seems like a simple enough thing, but the finished product in charcoal needs to be able to hold a flame.
So if you burn it now, how are you able to light it later? As imposed into a barbecue grill? Yeah.
Well, we usually light it with a little bit of lighter fluid and a match.
I guess what I'm saying is if it burns now Mm-hmm.
why would this hold a flame? This, to me, is a great mystery.
Mm-hmm.
All right.
We'll figure it out down at the processing point.
Right now, we just want to separate the stuff that burnt from the stuff that didn't.
That's right.
Who's that driving, by the way? That's my dad, Henry.
[ Coughs .]
You guys don't wear a mask or anything? No, it's not that bad, Mike.
Black lung? No, Mike, you won't get black lung.
It's 100% natural.
Anything natural's not supposed to hurt you.
Is that right? See, I've read a lot of stuff over the years about how smoke can be a problem for the average Yeah? Well, my grandpa had a heart attack.
They had to do heart surgery on him.
And he went in, and his lungs, they said, was like a 9-year-old, and he's been in this for 45 years.
Really? If it was gonna kill somebody, it'd probably kill him.
All right, Henry.
Coming up I make some new friends down at the charcoal factory.
You're gonna make these guys have to work overtime.
I'm just a human being.
Is it just me, or is anybody else baffled about how wood that's been burned can still burn? Struemph: It's actually not been burned, it's been charred.
It's been charred.
It's charred, not burned.
Mike, right here's what we call unburnt.
See how big that log is? It didn't burn, which there are small pieces in here that did not burn.
We'll get to them.
So I'm just looking for stuff here that didn't char.
And it looks like this bucket's in pretty good shape.
You picked the one there that's pretty big.
Most of the time, we just kind of hit that.
There you go, and it broke.
We throw it back in the bucket and let her go.
That's the test that it's charred.
That it's charred.
I think, Mike, you missed a piece right there.
I may have.
We'll see.
You didn't.
Very good.
[ Chuckles .]
God, Kurt.
It's black gold, man.
We're rich.
What do you think, huh? I think it's fantastic.
I wish I would have worn my white getup.
I'm not sure about this one.
That's unburnt, bud.
You see that? You got an eye.
Now, they also use some of this for cosmetics.
Well, my skin just feels smooth and supple right now.
And you look fantastic.
Thank you.
Actually, there's 80% charcoal in mascara for women.
The man is a font of endless charcoal-related information.
[ Coughs .]
Aah.
Unloading a charcoal kiln [ coughs .]
You got to get the metal bands [Coughs.]
That hold the charcoal together.
You got to make sure those are removed.
Otherwise, when it goes down to the manufacturing part, it'll get all wrapped in there [coughs.]
Wreak all kinds of havoc.
The good news is [coughs.]
The good news is it's perfectly safe.
That would be unburnt, Mike.
What do we have here? That was good, dad.
[ Coughs .]
This has got to be the dirtiest part of your day, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no.
This is not the dirtiest part, no.
What the hell can happen that's dirtier than this? I don't want to tell you everything right up front.
You may get in the car and leave.
Rowe: So Henry's gonna take Everything that's being unloaded, he's putting it in the back of that paneled truck, and that, in turn, is gonna be driven down to the processing plant, where other mysterious things are gonna happen to it.
Struemph: That's right.
So, Mike, you want a dip? Chaw? Yeah.
Just a pinch between my cheek and gum? Yeah.
You know what? I gave it up.
I don't have any vices anymore, except for the Well, the liquor And the women Occasional cigar.
Sure.
I thought the kilns were dirty, but the processing plant, which is just down the hill in the holler, redefined the word "dirty.
" Say hi to pickle.
She's the struemph charcoal mascot.
She's a white border collie.
So this is a hopper, right? Yes, Mike.
All right, and what happens here? You just feed this throughout the day? We keep feeding it, and it runs down onto a conveyor, which the conveyor runs into the shaker, which shakes the coal and sizes it.
You mentioned a conveyor belt.
Where's that? That's underneath this.
The wood in the hopper is used to make lump charcoal, which is different from the briquettes that most people are used to seeing.
So the charcoal that's fallen through the hopper When we lose sight of it, it basically is falling onto this conveyor belt and coming up this direction.
And where's it headed first? It's gonna go up the conveyor belt into the shaker, which will separate the little pieces from the big pieces.
So after it gets sorted, it goes, eventually, into a bagging scenario, right? That's further down the line? That's further down the line.
That's a dirty job? It's a dirty job.
Shocking.
Now we're getting to the easy part.
What could be simpler than putting 10 pounds of charcoal into a bag, handing it to someone else who closes the bag, and feeds it through a machine that sews it shut? And then the bag gets stacked on a pallet.
I can do that.
So this is really the pressure position right here? Yep, you're the man.
Final inspection, good, clean, 10-pound bag, and if I slow things down, then the whole line stops.
That's pretty much it.
That's all right.
In the bottom of the ninth, I want the ball.
The whole idea to this, Mike, is to keep up with the machine.
Right, right, right.
You're there.
Unburnt, unburnt.
This bag personally inspected by yours truly.
How many 10 pounds you gonna put in that bag? Rowe: Crap, overdid it.
You're gonna make these guys have to work overtime.
They got a quota to get.
I'm just a human being.
I'm doing the best I can here.
They had to turn off the machine because I couldn't keep up.
You're just giving them a good shake and letting them go straight through? After you fold the corners in.
Let me give that a shot.
Do you mind? Have at it.
Like that? Yep.
This is a job I can get behind.
Damn, Tim, slow down, brother.
Where's the fire? Get them bags out of my way, Mike.
I'm sorry, Tim.
I'm doing what I can.
Faulty bags.
First day at the charcoal plant.
Struemph: Let's move on down the line.
Sure.
Uh, you better pick up the beat, Mike.
There's never been four bags laying on the pallet.
There's a skid here waiting to be stacked never.
You're getting ready to get five.
This is a big, exciting day for everyone.
Four bags backed up.
Just like a nightmare, they just keep coming.
I don't know where to put them.
You got nine in a row here.
We only put eight on a stack.
Well, talk to your son.
He's been supervising me.
That's what I'm trying to say.
He don't know everything yet.
That's why I got to still stick around.
Well, Henry, I'm glad you're here.
Coming up Behind this door is a truly dirty job.
I'm a dirty, dirty boy.
Behind this door is a truly dirty job, a job so dirty and so vile that Kurt won't even do it.
That's why Tim has to do it.
Tim, what's behind the door? A bunch of dust.
Is it any different than the dust I'm already covered with? It's a little thicker.
Where's the dust come from? It comes from the fines that go through the shaker, and it settles at the bottom, and it's like walking through water.
Well, water's not so bad, is it? You'll find out.
Here we go.
I'll find out right now.
That is a very, very dirty closet.
Yes, and it gets that way quite often.
Oh, man, you're right.
Look at that.
That is the finest dust I've ever seen.
You don't have any concerns about this going in you? Not really.
I don't stay in here long enough for it to affect me.
You said it takes you an hour and a half to take care of it.
Yeah, it ain't very long.
All right.
Well, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna hop over here, take that broom, and push that dust towards the door.
And you're gonna use the shovel and shovel it into this conveyor here.
And where's it gonna go in the conveyor? When it goes up the conveyor, it goes out into the fines, where the little chunks of charcoal go.
So you're gonna go over there, and you're gonna sweep.
How do we know when to turn this conveyor on? I'm gonna give that order here in just a second.
Go ahead! How you doing over there? Can't talk.
You got one dirty-ass job, Tim.
This is the dirtiest job I've ever seen.
[ Coughs .]
Ah.
[ Coughs .]
What the hell happened? Well, obviously, we've got the elevator You must have done your job wrong in there.
You've got it choked up.
How could I have done it wrong? All I did was shovel stuff in a conveyor.
You probably shoveled too much in there too fast, and it's got our pipe up here choked up.
You're gonna have to get in there, and there's a pipe in there up there on top of that pile.
A light? You got to take that pole and shove it up in that hole and get it cleaned out so we can get that shaker house cleaned out.
All right.
No need to yell.
I'm going in.
You'll see a pipe up there.
[ Coughs .]
I just push this pipe up in that pipe? Push that pipe up through there, that pipe that you got.
Push it up through there, and it should come rolling out.
I think I might have found the clog.
No.
You get it? Your problem is you got some dust in here.
Probably got a couple chunks or something up in it.
Chunks? [ Coughs .]
The only chunks I know are the ones coming up from my lungs.
Okay, pull your pipe out, and I'll turn it on right quick, and we'll see if it's open.
Turn it on right quick! He's turning it on right quick to see if it's open.
Yes! Yeah, I think it's open.
Oh, crap! [ Coughs .]
God.
Kurt.
Yeah, did you get it? I'll tell you what I know.
You're a dirty man.
Yeah, we got it.
This is what happens in the charcoal business.
And because nothing is ever wasted in the charcoal business, that dirty, filthy dust is scraped up Loaded onto trucks, and shipped to a company that makes briquettes.
And all of that so you can have a barbecue in your backyard.
Well, nothing says Missouri like pork steaks, and it's also the best way to test out the real efficacy of this charcoal.
This is really just a beautiful end to a really, really crappy day, but I appreciate you having us over here.
How long do they cook? Probably a half-hour, 45 minutes.
Well, I've seen some vile, dirty, disgusting, putrid, unforgettable things over the last couple of months, but in my whole adult life, I've never been dirtier than I am right now.
Take a look at me.
I'm a dirty, dirty boy, and I couldn't have done it without a dirty, dirty crew.
They're back here, and I wanted to Mark this occasion just by quickly introducing everybody.
Look at rhea.
Look at how she works right there.
This is our audio girl Filthy from top to bottom, which is why I love her.
[ Smooches .]
You're something else.
This is Dave barsky, a dear friend of mine who's never been clean a day in his life.
This is Troy paff.
Nobody shoots video like Troy paff, with the exception of Doug glover, who is over here right now.
He's our camera guy as well.
He could put that whole sandwich in his mouth at once if he wanted to, but he won't.
This is a dog called woogie.
He's not part of the crew, but he's kind of dirty, which is kind of nice.
Look at that.
That's will over here.
He's a coordinator or a P.
A.
or something like that.
He'll do virtually anything I ask him to.
Of course, our host.
Kurt, I just want to say to you and your dad over here, Henry, that I've been hearing about Southern hospitality all my life, but the truth is, you don't have to come any further than Cuba, Missouri.
Steelville.
Oh, is that where you're from? Let's not split hairs.
I was trying to compliment you, damn it.
Open up that thing and give me one last look at the meat.
No.
Come on.
Come on, show me the meat.
Look at that.
That's what hospitality's all about.
And that's what we're gonna be eating, everybody.
Hey, it sure has been nice of you to watch.
I'm grateful.
I'm not much of a cameraman, and I'm not much at goodbyes, so goodbye.
Hey, my friends at the discovery channel are always looking for new and exciting ways to get me filthy dirty, so do me a favor.
If you have a dirty job, send a videotape of you doing the job.
If it's dirty enough, we'll put it on the air, and if it's filthy stinkin' dirty, I'll come out and do it with you.
All the information you need is on the website Discovery.
com/dirtyjobs.
There you go.
Now clean yourself up.
Oh, geez.
[ Grunting .]
Man: Can you do it? Here, hold this camera.
Ready? Grab ahold of me.
I gotcha.
[ Laughter .]
Captions by vitac captions paid for by discovery communications My name's Mike rowe, and I've put a pig on a pedestal.
Why? Because even though he works in the dirt, this noble creature is the embodiment of hard work, self-sacrifice, and a good-natured willingness to get the job done, no matter how dirty.
Day after day, he goes about his business without complaint.
And night after night, he brings home the bacon.
[ Pig snorts .]
I am sorry I said that.
What's on your pedestal?