Due South (1994) s01e15 Episode Script
The Wild Bunch
I'm making up two bowls.
One for lunch and one for dinner.
Make sure he finishes them and no snacking in between.
He won't eat it.
He hates vitamins.
Well, they're good for him.
He's been looking a little peaked of late.
He just wants to get out, you know.
-Don't you, boy? - Hmm.
Them again.
- They're not bad.
Oh, I'm not saying they are.
But you think you could exercise better judgment when choosing friends, don't you? No, no.
Don't start with me again.
You know what happened last time.
Oh come on! They're dogs, they're supposed to knock over trash cans! Thirty-seven trash cans, all in a row? So, they got excited.
So did the sanitation engineer! And I didn't notice either of you offering to carry him to the hospital.
He weighed three hundred pounds and besides, all he did was faint.
Okay, I'll watch him this time.
He'll never leave my sight.
He's already had one walk today so you feed him, and when I get home from work, we'll all take a walk together.
You gave me the job, why won't you trust me with it? Well I do trust you, I do.
It's just that It's that he just seems sort of well, he's out of sorts lately, and I don't know what the problem is, because he won't open up and talk to me, but I think once he and I have had a little chat-- Okay, I'm here.
If you want a lift, let's get in the car.
-I thought he blew it up.
- He did.
We're not talking about that, okay? We don't mention it, we don't discuss it.
-Sure.
- Fine.
- Let's go.
- What's he driving? - Heard that! Be right there, Ray.
All right, try and have a good day.
Hey, boy.
Yeah, I know.
How about a nice game of Monopoly.
No, huh? Nice glove box.
Very spacious.
Good seat covers.
Motor pool? - I thought we agreed not to talk about it.
- Ah, of course, of course.
The loss of a loved one is always a shock.
Fraser.
Well, I'm sorry, Ray, but-but I do understand.
but-but I do understand.
You'd be hard-pressed to find a finer example of Detroit's automotive engineering than the 1971 Riviera.
Enough! Okay? Enough.
All right? You took the Riv, you drove it all over the countryside, you gave it to a convicted felon, you ran it into a ditch and you forced me to blow it up.
You've done enough.
- Lives were saved, Ray.
- And yours was spared.
I loved that car.
Not a word.
Can't you tell them to shut up? Somebody's going to call the cops.
They're your friends.
Do something.
You heard Fraser.
You're grounded.
Forget it.
Okay? You're a bad influence on me you know that? Okay, okay.
Hey Diefenbaker! Diefenbaker, wait up! Hey! Hey! I've got Milk Bones.
Anybody want Milk Bones? Oh no! I'm dead! Damn dogs.
Well, well, just what the doctor ordered.
Come here.
Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
Come here.
Yeah, that's good.
Maggie, is it? Well, not anymore.
Come on.
Come on.
Diefenbaker! No! It's not a bad ride.
I mean, we've been driving -- - how far we have we driven? - Two blocks.
Ooh, Ray.
Idiot.
Ray! Diefenbaker? - I know, I know, follow the wolf.
Oh, Ray, whoa! Ah, great.
Is it safe now, or should I wait for the cattle drive? No, go ahead.
Hey, watch it, birdbrain! - You know, Ray, I think I'm just gonna-- - Good idea.
Dief! Get that, kid? If I find you or the wolf, you're both dead! Hey, back off, all right? Excuse me, sir,I'm Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
May I help you? Not unless you have a gun.
Well, I'm afraid I'm not actually-- And this animal is under arrest.
All right, I'm the cop here.
I'll say who's under arrest.
- Who's under arrest? - This wild animal.
He chased me for six blocks.
He not only violated the leash law, he's also guilty of disturbing the peace and creating a public nuisance.
Officer, uh, Benedict? Yeah.
Arnold Benedict.
Diefenbaker is my wolf, and I'm afraid I'm entirely responsible for his unfortunate behavior.
No you're not.
I am.
Look, I'm sorry.
He just looked so sad cooped up inside that apartment-- - We'll discuss your part in this later.
In the meantime, I have his license right here.
If you'd be so kind as to write up a ticket-- - Hey, I don't care if you have a license.
That animal is crazy, I told you, he tried to attack me.
All right.
Look, buddy, obviously there's been a misunderstanding here.
So the wolf and his friends got a little frisky.
Can't we settle this without going through all that nasty, time-consuming paperwork? No dice.
Hey!! - Diefenbaker! - He bit me! That's enough! I'm terribly sorry, officer, it's not at all like him.
Sorry isn't enough, Constable.
That is a dangerous animal.
He's going into quarantine.
- Quarantine? - You don't like it? Talk to a judge.
Could be rabies.
Or it could be he just had a bad day.
We'll know soon enough.
Thank you, officer.
Oh, don't worry.
We'll take good care of him.
- Yes, sir.
It just isn't like him.
What could he possibly have been thinking? I don't know Fraser, for some reason wolves rarely share their innermost thoughts with me.
Now you're gonna have to go to court, and even if he isn't sick you're still gonna have to prove that he isn't a chronic biter.
Diefenbaker has never bit a person in his life.
I have all of his papers, his shots are up-to-date.
- He must have had a reason.
- He does have a reason.
He's a wolf.
That's a popular misconception, Ray.
Wolves only attack human beings if they've been severely provoked.
So, did you spring him? No.
I can't do that, Willie.
Diefenbaker's broken the law.
We have to let justice take it's course.
You gotta be kidding me.
Hmm-mm.
Come here.
See the way I figure it, that guy in there is really soft, so let's just slip him a few bucks.
- Good idea.
- That would be bribery.
- Right! - Right! Absolutely not! The only way that we're going to help Diefenbaker is to insure that he receives a fair hearing.
Oh come on, Fraser, he bit the guy.
You saw him, I saw him.
The wolf's guilty.
But what happened before we got there? There could be extenuating circumstances, witnesses to those circumstances.
We won't know this until we've completed our investigation.
Our investigation? Look, I've got a full case load with crimes involving humans.
I think that takes precedence.
You're right.
You're too busy.
Oh come on, Fraser-- - No.
No I mean this, Ray.
You have more important things to do.
We'll manage.
The kid? You're gonna send a known felon out to solve a crime? Hey, I'm strictly misdemeanors, and you know that.
Fine.
Do it on your own! See if I care! Probably wouldn't even make it past the first witness.
Well, it seems the wolf has made a less than favorable impression on your neighbors.
Well, I can't see why.
I mean he's very personable once you get to know him.
Really? Let's review.
One: runs with pack of motley stray dogs.
Ray, they're not dangerous.
They just haven't had a bath.
Two: knocked over fifty-seven garbage cans while leading the aforesaid pack.
Thirty-seven, he helped clean them up afterwards.
Furthermore, he is not their leader.
Three: suspected of killing and eating missing neighborhood pets.
Ray, really, that's another misconception.
Wolves only kill when they're ravenous and their preferred prey is large hoofed animals.
I don't see how Mrs.
Pumputis's Pekinese can bear a passing resemblance to a caribou.
Well.
- Even if it was wearing shoes.
Well we haven't actually found anyone who saw Diefenbaker harass Officer Benedict.
Yeah, we haven't found anyone who said Benedict provoked him either.
The burden of proof rests with the opposition, Ray.
Aw, come on, Fraser.
Think.
We got a wolf on one hand, animal control officer on the other.
Who're you going to believe? Excuse me, ma'am, I couldn't help noticing that you're-- Oh have you seen her? She's a husky.
Gray and white.
About 35 pounds? Uh, no.
I'm afraid not.
How long has she been missing? - So you're the Mountie? That wolf is yours, isn't he? Well, I do own a wolf, yes.
Well, how can you bring a wild animal into this neighborhood? Don't you have any conscience at all? Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not sure that I understand what you're suggesting.
That wolf of yours has been hanging around these alleys for weeks.
Now, I was so scared, I couldn't even let my son take the dog out for a walk! All right lady, the wolf's in custody, there's nothing to worry about.
My dog is missing.
I've been talking to the people in the laundromat.
They've lost pets, too.
Now, some of them right out of their own backyard! So call animal control.
Well, I did! None of them were picked up.
They just disappeared like Maggie! I swear to you, if that animal of yours hurt our dog-- Ma'am, if that is the case, then I will personally see to it that this situation is immediately and irrevocably dealt with.
However, if you don't have any actual evidence against my wolf This is my evidence.
I just better find my dog, you understand? Constable.
I just picked this up in the alley and I thought you might want to see it.
Some might call it evidence.
Could send a certain wolf up the river for a long time.
Thank you very kindly.
Great.
A dog collar.
Maggie.
Cut it out! Shut up, you stupid mutts! All right, all right, everybody settle down.
Thought that room was supposed to be empty.
A stray.
Just brought her in.
Want me to write it up? No.
I'll do the paperwork later.
Thanks.
Now you behave, hmm? Shut up in there.
Next.
Okay.
Case number ninety-five-dash-M-one-dash-three-five-two-seven-three-nine.
The City of Chicago versusDiefenbakia? That's Diefenbaker, sir.
- Uh-huh.
Constable Fraser, is it? - Yes, sir.
Okay.
What I have here is a statement from animal control, blah blah blah Okay, it seems pretty straight forward.
Anything you care to add before I give you my ruling? Yes, there is your honor, may I? He's going to tell the truth.
We're dead! Just give him a chance.
On Tuesday last, the accused, that is my wolf, Diefenbaker-- Wolf? Well yes, sir.
He's a wolf.
Uh partly anyway.
I'm not sure what the other part is.
Wait-wait-wait.
You let a wolf run loose in the streets and he attacks somebody? Why doesn't that come as a surprise to me? Uh, well you see, sir, that's a popular misconception.
The fact is-- Benny, fall back.
Your honor, Detective Vecchio.
Uh-huh.
- Let's cut to the chase.
So the wolf took a piece out of the animal control guy.
He's a city bureaucrat.
I mean, come on, wouldn't you do the same if you had the opportunity? - Oh great! Ray.
Ray Vecchio? Uh yes, Your Honor? You're the cop that got Justice Powell committed to county psychiatric! Hey look, just because a judge gets carried out of court on a stretcher screaming a particular detective's name-- No-no-no-no.
I'm very honored.
Really.
See I've always wanted to know just how many members of his immediate family did you actually indict? Well, four including the toddler.
But that was an unfortunate error-- Uh, Your Honor, about my wolf? Right.
Okay.
Uh, how many people has he actually attacked? Well none.
I mean, except in the line of duty.
Excuse me? Well you see, sir, as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I tend to run across desperate criminals on occasion, and Diefenbaker has often been extremely instrumental in bringing about their capture, and their subsequent incarceration.
As a matter of fact, I have a letter of gratitude here from an Inuit elder in Tuktoyaktuk-- No, that's okay.
Thank you very much.
Has he ever killed? No, of course not.
Well, at least not without cause.
There was a nasty incident involving a wolverine on a Northumberland sound-- Okay, so the answer to my question is 'Yes.
' Tell me, Constable.
Just how long have you had this animal in captivity? Well, I've never really thought of him as captive, Your Honor.
You see, Diefenbaker was born in the wild, but he came to live with me of his own free will.
You mean he's wild? He'd not domesticated? Oh.
No-no, no.
He's very sociable, if that's what you mean.
No, Constable, that is not what I mean.
What you have here is a wild animal living in an apartment.
By your own admission has bitten more than one individual and is responsible for killing at least one other animal.
This is not Lassie! Order the animal be put to sleep.
You can't kill him! He didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Look it was my fault! Son, why don't you let the grown-ups-- Your Honor, you can't euthanize him just because he's wild.
Why don't you send him back to the woods from where he came? I can't do that, Detective.
Not so long as there's any question about him being a danger to man.
Sorry.
You can't let them do this! Fine.
To hell with the law, and to hell with you! Well, the good news is that Ray says we have nothing to worry about.
It turns out, luckily for us, that he's very well-acquainted with a number of sitting judges, and he's confident that one of them is bound to grant us a stay of execution.
Well, I know, but it's not inconceivable that he would know one of them, and the least we can do is let him try, don't you think? You know, I was thinking today about that time you pulled me from the Sound and, uh I know I never really You did want to come here, didn't you? I just took it for granted.
I know we never really discussed it, but I would hate to think you came here and stayed here all of this time just out of some kind of misplaced sense of duty.
You wouldn't do that, would you? I didn't think you would.
You know, I-I could stay if you'd like.
I, uh, I brought my bedroll.
Okay, well, if you'd rather be alone then.
There you go.
Diefenbaker what's wrong? Diefenbaker! All right.
I'm leaving now, I'll be back in the morning.
No! - Poor Diefenbaker.
- I said not to worry.
Didn't I say that? This is America, land of the lengthy appeal.
- I can tie this case up for years faster than you can say 'Judge Wapner' - Sure.
Now I know some judges that are big dog lovers.
A couple of calls and bing bang boom.
Dief is as good as a free puppy.
You know, I had a loss of my own recently, Elaine, and you didn't say anything about that.
- It was a car, Ray.
- Can we not talk about this? Hello! Judge Axelrod? Yes, Detective Vecchio here Uh, yes, sir uh, no.
Why thank you, sir.
Yes it has been a long time Well, I thought it was an open-and-shut case myself too, sir Dinner plans? Of course, I'll get right to the point.
Now you are a pet lover, are you not, sir? I mean, I recall seeing a picture of Prince, I believe his name was Your wife's dog And the divorce proceedings aren't going well Well gee, I'm really sorry to hear that, sir Bitten as a child? Uh, well, you know, if I was in your shoes, sir, I'd do exactly the same thing, yes Uh, my call? Well, ah, you know what, sir? That's really not important.
I mean you got enough, uh, yes.
Fine.
Well thank you, sir, and God bless, yes.
It's going great.
I mean I put in a lot of calls and, you know, this animal is as good as sprung.
I appreciate you trying, Ray.
No-no-no.
This book--see this book here? This contains the names of over fifty jurists and law makers.
I have compromising photos of several.
I mean, you know, we have not yet begun to fight.
Let's see, Gold GoldHarry Gold.
There you go, boy.
I know, we don't like to do it, Hey.
but when an animal bites its owner, well I brought a little something extra for ya.
Against the rules but a condemned man needs more than a bowl of kibble and a chew stick.
Oh! What are you still doing here? Uh, last meal for 21B.
A little steak.
Why bother? Any dog that'd bite you, can't be all bad, can it? Oh that's funny.
Yeah.
A new one? No, a mistake.
I'm taking him back to his owner.
Well, lock up.
- Oh, yeah.
Good night, guys.
Bring us your injured, your weak, and your homeless.
he wretched refuse of your teaming shore.
You don't pay me enough to listen to your stupid jokes.
We do pay you to deliver, and you're not the only worm around here that'll steal people's pets just to earn a few extra bucks.
Where's the husky? Beauty, huh? Just like you ordered.
Yeah, too bad.
Cause she won't be when those lab people get through with her.
- Hey.
Where's my money? - We get paid on delivery.
You get paid when we get paid.
See you tomorrow.
Hey boy, it's me.
Boy, you don't look so good.
What have they been doing to you in here? Ah no, don't tell me, I can imagine.
Hey-hey-hey, look, I'm here to help, okay? We're gonna have you out of here in no time.
Sit back and relax.
You sure you're okay? I mean, what that judge said about you just ain't so, is it? You know, that you're mad from not being in the wild and all? Well, even if you are, it doesn't matter.
Now you won't bite me, will ya? I mean, we're friends, aren't we? I mean, you wouldn't go and bite a friend, now would you? There, you see? This is going great.
I'm here, boy.
I'm here.
See? I told ya.
I didn't give up on you.
How you doing, boy? Yeah.
Come on.
We better get out of here.
Vecchio.
V-E-C-C- What do you mean he doesn't remember me? How can he not remember me? Alzheimer's.
Well, all right, fair enough.
It's all right, Ray.
Ah, look Fraser, even I know that animal's your best friend.
Yes, but he is an animal.
Oh, and a Riviera is just a car? Judge Maxwell's office just called.
He died two years ago.
Thank you, Elaine.
Well, those pictures weren't worth much anyway.
Yello? .
Hold on.
Hello? It's the ACC.
Your wolf seems to have escaped.
Escaped? It looks like he might have had some help.
It could have been one of those groups who release pets from labs.
It's the fashion these days.
- Willie.
- What's that? What will you do now? Notify the authorities and send an armed officer out to track him down.
He has been ordered destroyed.
I understand.
Thank you.
- Can you take me home? - Sure.
Did you get them? Could you hold them 'til I ask for them? It that your father's rifle? Why don't you let me do this for you? No, he's my wolf.
- How far you going? - Canada? Jump up.
Come on, boy.
Imagine running away to try and release him.
Kids got spirit.
Kid's a pain in the ass.
Would you please notify all the border control points? Thank you.
What he's taking him to Canada? - He's taking him back to the wild.
- Hey, that's out of my jurisdiction.
- Willie's in danger, Ray.
- From what, Diefenbaker? What's with him? I don't know.
Diefenbaker? Come here, boy.
Aw come on, man, this isn't Canada! Diefenbaker, wait up! Want to talk about it? No.
Come on, you love that wolf.
You loved your car.
Yeah, but a car isn't a person.
I mean, a car is nothing but a hunk of metal, steel, bolts, and leather.
I mean, I know that.
But the wolf, it's the damnedest thing.
It was like there's a person inside of him.
Diefenbaker, where you going? That's the wrong way! We just came from there.
Canada's that way.
Hey! Hey! That you, Elaine? Just got word from a Lake County Dispatcher.
A trucker reported picking up a kid with a wolf.
Ya got to hand it to the kid, he's got fugitive in his blood.
Trucker said he dropped them outside of Waukegan.
I checked the map.
There's an interchange there that serves the I-94.
We're coming up on it now.
Thank you kindly, Elaine.
Do you know where you're going? You're stubborn, you know that? Stubborn and stupid.
Hey Diefenbaker, wait up.
Dief, wait up.
Where you going, boy? Wait up! Come on boy! Diefenbaker! This is odd.
These tracks, they're headed south.
That's back where we came from.
Doesn't the kid know where north is? Well, of course he does.
I gave him a compass.
Yeah, I got a compass for my 10th birthday.
Every direction I turned, it pointed north.
Well it wouldn't matter, Ray.
Even if Willie was confused or the compass was broken, all he had to do is follow the highway.
Yet these tracks go the other way.
Good, maybe he got smart and he's going back home.
Look Fraser, the wolf's crazy.
Why don't you let the animal control guys take it from here? He's not crazy.
- He did that? - Yes.
Oh.
I wouldn't call peeling the bark off a tree normal behavior, even for a demented wolf.
It's hunting behavior.
When a wolf kills its prey, he peels off the hide.
It's more efficient for digestion.
But I don't see a carcass anywhere.
£a This is a good sign? Every wolf raised in the wild is born with the instinct to kill.
For food or self-preservation or to protect its own.
His anxiousness lately, running with that pack of strays, now this.
I think he's returning to his wild state.
Is that where we're going? Oh man! And what was with that bark thing? If you were hungry, all you had to do was say so.
I mean, gee.
I did pack sandwiches.
Oh man! Fraser's going to kill me.
Wait up, Diefenbaker! She'll be fine.
Can't use the others.
What do you expect me to do with them? Bone cancer clinic in Skokie.
Call them.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm heading North on I-94 right now Don't worry, I'll get him.
What's that? I gotta go.
That crazy wolf? He got loose.
Where are you going? Diefenbaker, wait up! This isn't our property, you know.
Diefenbaker! Hey, you! I'll get the wolf.
Get the husky!£a Hey, what are you doing? - I got orders.
- Yeah, well now you got new ones.
Back off.
Give me a bullet, Ray.
Quickly.
Come here.
All right.
Do it! Nooooooo! - Maggie? - What? The collar.
Maggie! There's more guys inside! It's my wolf.
You can't do this.
We haven't done anything illegal.
Well, not strictly.
Tell it to the judge.
You know, you could have told me about this.
It's not as though we're complete strangers.
I think she seems to be a very good choice.
That's what this was about? He's got a girlfriend? Well, actually it's a little more complicated than that, Ray.
This dog is with child.
Puppies? Wow! - His name is Buster.
- Hi, Buster.
Cool! Her name is Sunshine.
Yeah, that's real nice, kid, but try not to get the wolf hairs on my clothes.
You sure you don't want one? Oh, no thank you.
One wolf in the family is enough.
Well, we can visit.
I'll bring you.
Actually I think he can find his own way.
But you're welcome to join him, anytime.
Oh well uh, thank you kindly, but I-I-I wouldn't dream of-- I'll cook.
We'd be delighted.
Wouldn't we? Ah, I guess it's a kind of a nice cyclical thing.
You blowing up the Riv, and me saving your wolf.
On the other hand my Riv can't be replaced, and your wolf seems to have tripled.
Why can't it be replaced? Fraser, '71 Rivieras are extremely rare.
I traveled all the way to Buffalo to find that car.
They're impossible to find.
- Huh.
- Huh? What? Oh my God! Hey wait! Wait, stop! Police! Stop! Stop! Hey, hey! Stop! Police!
One for lunch and one for dinner.
Make sure he finishes them and no snacking in between.
He won't eat it.
He hates vitamins.
Well, they're good for him.
He's been looking a little peaked of late.
He just wants to get out, you know.
-Don't you, boy? - Hmm.
Them again.
- They're not bad.
Oh, I'm not saying they are.
But you think you could exercise better judgment when choosing friends, don't you? No, no.
Don't start with me again.
You know what happened last time.
Oh come on! They're dogs, they're supposed to knock over trash cans! Thirty-seven trash cans, all in a row? So, they got excited.
So did the sanitation engineer! And I didn't notice either of you offering to carry him to the hospital.
He weighed three hundred pounds and besides, all he did was faint.
Okay, I'll watch him this time.
He'll never leave my sight.
He's already had one walk today so you feed him, and when I get home from work, we'll all take a walk together.
You gave me the job, why won't you trust me with it? Well I do trust you, I do.
It's just that It's that he just seems sort of well, he's out of sorts lately, and I don't know what the problem is, because he won't open up and talk to me, but I think once he and I have had a little chat-- Okay, I'm here.
If you want a lift, let's get in the car.
-I thought he blew it up.
- He did.
We're not talking about that, okay? We don't mention it, we don't discuss it.
-Sure.
- Fine.
- Let's go.
- What's he driving? - Heard that! Be right there, Ray.
All right, try and have a good day.
Hey, boy.
Yeah, I know.
How about a nice game of Monopoly.
No, huh? Nice glove box.
Very spacious.
Good seat covers.
Motor pool? - I thought we agreed not to talk about it.
- Ah, of course, of course.
The loss of a loved one is always a shock.
Fraser.
Well, I'm sorry, Ray, but-but I do understand.
but-but I do understand.
You'd be hard-pressed to find a finer example of Detroit's automotive engineering than the 1971 Riviera.
Enough! Okay? Enough.
All right? You took the Riv, you drove it all over the countryside, you gave it to a convicted felon, you ran it into a ditch and you forced me to blow it up.
You've done enough.
- Lives were saved, Ray.
- And yours was spared.
I loved that car.
Not a word.
Can't you tell them to shut up? Somebody's going to call the cops.
They're your friends.
Do something.
You heard Fraser.
You're grounded.
Forget it.
Okay? You're a bad influence on me you know that? Okay, okay.
Hey Diefenbaker! Diefenbaker, wait up! Hey! Hey! I've got Milk Bones.
Anybody want Milk Bones? Oh no! I'm dead! Damn dogs.
Well, well, just what the doctor ordered.
Come here.
Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
Nice and easy.
Come here.
Yeah, that's good.
Maggie, is it? Well, not anymore.
Come on.
Come on.
Diefenbaker! No! It's not a bad ride.
I mean, we've been driving -- - how far we have we driven? - Two blocks.
Ooh, Ray.
Idiot.
Ray! Diefenbaker? - I know, I know, follow the wolf.
Oh, Ray, whoa! Ah, great.
Is it safe now, or should I wait for the cattle drive? No, go ahead.
Hey, watch it, birdbrain! - You know, Ray, I think I'm just gonna-- - Good idea.
Dief! Get that, kid? If I find you or the wolf, you're both dead! Hey, back off, all right? Excuse me, sir,I'm Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
May I help you? Not unless you have a gun.
Well, I'm afraid I'm not actually-- And this animal is under arrest.
All right, I'm the cop here.
I'll say who's under arrest.
- Who's under arrest? - This wild animal.
He chased me for six blocks.
He not only violated the leash law, he's also guilty of disturbing the peace and creating a public nuisance.
Officer, uh, Benedict? Yeah.
Arnold Benedict.
Diefenbaker is my wolf, and I'm afraid I'm entirely responsible for his unfortunate behavior.
No you're not.
I am.
Look, I'm sorry.
He just looked so sad cooped up inside that apartment-- - We'll discuss your part in this later.
In the meantime, I have his license right here.
If you'd be so kind as to write up a ticket-- - Hey, I don't care if you have a license.
That animal is crazy, I told you, he tried to attack me.
All right.
Look, buddy, obviously there's been a misunderstanding here.
So the wolf and his friends got a little frisky.
Can't we settle this without going through all that nasty, time-consuming paperwork? No dice.
Hey!! - Diefenbaker! - He bit me! That's enough! I'm terribly sorry, officer, it's not at all like him.
Sorry isn't enough, Constable.
That is a dangerous animal.
He's going into quarantine.
- Quarantine? - You don't like it? Talk to a judge.
Could be rabies.
Or it could be he just had a bad day.
We'll know soon enough.
Thank you, officer.
Oh, don't worry.
We'll take good care of him.
- Yes, sir.
It just isn't like him.
What could he possibly have been thinking? I don't know Fraser, for some reason wolves rarely share their innermost thoughts with me.
Now you're gonna have to go to court, and even if he isn't sick you're still gonna have to prove that he isn't a chronic biter.
Diefenbaker has never bit a person in his life.
I have all of his papers, his shots are up-to-date.
- He must have had a reason.
- He does have a reason.
He's a wolf.
That's a popular misconception, Ray.
Wolves only attack human beings if they've been severely provoked.
So, did you spring him? No.
I can't do that, Willie.
Diefenbaker's broken the law.
We have to let justice take it's course.
You gotta be kidding me.
Hmm-mm.
Come here.
See the way I figure it, that guy in there is really soft, so let's just slip him a few bucks.
- Good idea.
- That would be bribery.
- Right! - Right! Absolutely not! The only way that we're going to help Diefenbaker is to insure that he receives a fair hearing.
Oh come on, Fraser, he bit the guy.
You saw him, I saw him.
The wolf's guilty.
But what happened before we got there? There could be extenuating circumstances, witnesses to those circumstances.
We won't know this until we've completed our investigation.
Our investigation? Look, I've got a full case load with crimes involving humans.
I think that takes precedence.
You're right.
You're too busy.
Oh come on, Fraser-- - No.
No I mean this, Ray.
You have more important things to do.
We'll manage.
The kid? You're gonna send a known felon out to solve a crime? Hey, I'm strictly misdemeanors, and you know that.
Fine.
Do it on your own! See if I care! Probably wouldn't even make it past the first witness.
Well, it seems the wolf has made a less than favorable impression on your neighbors.
Well, I can't see why.
I mean he's very personable once you get to know him.
Really? Let's review.
One: runs with pack of motley stray dogs.
Ray, they're not dangerous.
They just haven't had a bath.
Two: knocked over fifty-seven garbage cans while leading the aforesaid pack.
Thirty-seven, he helped clean them up afterwards.
Furthermore, he is not their leader.
Three: suspected of killing and eating missing neighborhood pets.
Ray, really, that's another misconception.
Wolves only kill when they're ravenous and their preferred prey is large hoofed animals.
I don't see how Mrs.
Pumputis's Pekinese can bear a passing resemblance to a caribou.
Well.
- Even if it was wearing shoes.
Well we haven't actually found anyone who saw Diefenbaker harass Officer Benedict.
Yeah, we haven't found anyone who said Benedict provoked him either.
The burden of proof rests with the opposition, Ray.
Aw, come on, Fraser.
Think.
We got a wolf on one hand, animal control officer on the other.
Who're you going to believe? Excuse me, ma'am, I couldn't help noticing that you're-- Oh have you seen her? She's a husky.
Gray and white.
About 35 pounds? Uh, no.
I'm afraid not.
How long has she been missing? - So you're the Mountie? That wolf is yours, isn't he? Well, I do own a wolf, yes.
Well, how can you bring a wild animal into this neighborhood? Don't you have any conscience at all? Well, I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm not sure that I understand what you're suggesting.
That wolf of yours has been hanging around these alleys for weeks.
Now, I was so scared, I couldn't even let my son take the dog out for a walk! All right lady, the wolf's in custody, there's nothing to worry about.
My dog is missing.
I've been talking to the people in the laundromat.
They've lost pets, too.
Now, some of them right out of their own backyard! So call animal control.
Well, I did! None of them were picked up.
They just disappeared like Maggie! I swear to you, if that animal of yours hurt our dog-- Ma'am, if that is the case, then I will personally see to it that this situation is immediately and irrevocably dealt with.
However, if you don't have any actual evidence against my wolf This is my evidence.
I just better find my dog, you understand? Constable.
I just picked this up in the alley and I thought you might want to see it.
Some might call it evidence.
Could send a certain wolf up the river for a long time.
Thank you very kindly.
Great.
A dog collar.
Maggie.
Cut it out! Shut up, you stupid mutts! All right, all right, everybody settle down.
Thought that room was supposed to be empty.
A stray.
Just brought her in.
Want me to write it up? No.
I'll do the paperwork later.
Thanks.
Now you behave, hmm? Shut up in there.
Next.
Okay.
Case number ninety-five-dash-M-one-dash-three-five-two-seven-three-nine.
The City of Chicago versusDiefenbakia? That's Diefenbaker, sir.
- Uh-huh.
Constable Fraser, is it? - Yes, sir.
Okay.
What I have here is a statement from animal control, blah blah blah Okay, it seems pretty straight forward.
Anything you care to add before I give you my ruling? Yes, there is your honor, may I? He's going to tell the truth.
We're dead! Just give him a chance.
On Tuesday last, the accused, that is my wolf, Diefenbaker-- Wolf? Well yes, sir.
He's a wolf.
Uh partly anyway.
I'm not sure what the other part is.
Wait-wait-wait.
You let a wolf run loose in the streets and he attacks somebody? Why doesn't that come as a surprise to me? Uh, well you see, sir, that's a popular misconception.
The fact is-- Benny, fall back.
Your honor, Detective Vecchio.
Uh-huh.
- Let's cut to the chase.
So the wolf took a piece out of the animal control guy.
He's a city bureaucrat.
I mean, come on, wouldn't you do the same if you had the opportunity? - Oh great! Ray.
Ray Vecchio? Uh yes, Your Honor? You're the cop that got Justice Powell committed to county psychiatric! Hey look, just because a judge gets carried out of court on a stretcher screaming a particular detective's name-- No-no-no-no.
I'm very honored.
Really.
See I've always wanted to know just how many members of his immediate family did you actually indict? Well, four including the toddler.
But that was an unfortunate error-- Uh, Your Honor, about my wolf? Right.
Okay.
Uh, how many people has he actually attacked? Well none.
I mean, except in the line of duty.
Excuse me? Well you see, sir, as a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, I tend to run across desperate criminals on occasion, and Diefenbaker has often been extremely instrumental in bringing about their capture, and their subsequent incarceration.
As a matter of fact, I have a letter of gratitude here from an Inuit elder in Tuktoyaktuk-- No, that's okay.
Thank you very much.
Has he ever killed? No, of course not.
Well, at least not without cause.
There was a nasty incident involving a wolverine on a Northumberland sound-- Okay, so the answer to my question is 'Yes.
' Tell me, Constable.
Just how long have you had this animal in captivity? Well, I've never really thought of him as captive, Your Honor.
You see, Diefenbaker was born in the wild, but he came to live with me of his own free will.
You mean he's wild? He'd not domesticated? Oh.
No-no, no.
He's very sociable, if that's what you mean.
No, Constable, that is not what I mean.
What you have here is a wild animal living in an apartment.
By your own admission has bitten more than one individual and is responsible for killing at least one other animal.
This is not Lassie! Order the animal be put to sleep.
You can't kill him! He didn't mean to hurt anybody.
Look it was my fault! Son, why don't you let the grown-ups-- Your Honor, you can't euthanize him just because he's wild.
Why don't you send him back to the woods from where he came? I can't do that, Detective.
Not so long as there's any question about him being a danger to man.
Sorry.
You can't let them do this! Fine.
To hell with the law, and to hell with you! Well, the good news is that Ray says we have nothing to worry about.
It turns out, luckily for us, that he's very well-acquainted with a number of sitting judges, and he's confident that one of them is bound to grant us a stay of execution.
Well, I know, but it's not inconceivable that he would know one of them, and the least we can do is let him try, don't you think? You know, I was thinking today about that time you pulled me from the Sound and, uh I know I never really You did want to come here, didn't you? I just took it for granted.
I know we never really discussed it, but I would hate to think you came here and stayed here all of this time just out of some kind of misplaced sense of duty.
You wouldn't do that, would you? I didn't think you would.
You know, I-I could stay if you'd like.
I, uh, I brought my bedroll.
Okay, well, if you'd rather be alone then.
There you go.
Diefenbaker what's wrong? Diefenbaker! All right.
I'm leaving now, I'll be back in the morning.
No! - Poor Diefenbaker.
- I said not to worry.
Didn't I say that? This is America, land of the lengthy appeal.
- I can tie this case up for years faster than you can say 'Judge Wapner' - Sure.
Now I know some judges that are big dog lovers.
A couple of calls and bing bang boom.
Dief is as good as a free puppy.
You know, I had a loss of my own recently, Elaine, and you didn't say anything about that.
- It was a car, Ray.
- Can we not talk about this? Hello! Judge Axelrod? Yes, Detective Vecchio here Uh, yes, sir uh, no.
Why thank you, sir.
Yes it has been a long time Well, I thought it was an open-and-shut case myself too, sir Dinner plans? Of course, I'll get right to the point.
Now you are a pet lover, are you not, sir? I mean, I recall seeing a picture of Prince, I believe his name was Your wife's dog And the divorce proceedings aren't going well Well gee, I'm really sorry to hear that, sir Bitten as a child? Uh, well, you know, if I was in your shoes, sir, I'd do exactly the same thing, yes Uh, my call? Well, ah, you know what, sir? That's really not important.
I mean you got enough, uh, yes.
Fine.
Well thank you, sir, and God bless, yes.
It's going great.
I mean I put in a lot of calls and, you know, this animal is as good as sprung.
I appreciate you trying, Ray.
No-no-no.
This book--see this book here? This contains the names of over fifty jurists and law makers.
I have compromising photos of several.
I mean, you know, we have not yet begun to fight.
Let's see, Gold GoldHarry Gold.
There you go, boy.
I know, we don't like to do it, Hey.
but when an animal bites its owner, well I brought a little something extra for ya.
Against the rules but a condemned man needs more than a bowl of kibble and a chew stick.
Oh! What are you still doing here? Uh, last meal for 21B.
A little steak.
Why bother? Any dog that'd bite you, can't be all bad, can it? Oh that's funny.
Yeah.
A new one? No, a mistake.
I'm taking him back to his owner.
Well, lock up.
- Oh, yeah.
Good night, guys.
Bring us your injured, your weak, and your homeless.
he wretched refuse of your teaming shore.
You don't pay me enough to listen to your stupid jokes.
We do pay you to deliver, and you're not the only worm around here that'll steal people's pets just to earn a few extra bucks.
Where's the husky? Beauty, huh? Just like you ordered.
Yeah, too bad.
Cause she won't be when those lab people get through with her.
- Hey.
Where's my money? - We get paid on delivery.
You get paid when we get paid.
See you tomorrow.
Hey boy, it's me.
Boy, you don't look so good.
What have they been doing to you in here? Ah no, don't tell me, I can imagine.
Hey-hey-hey, look, I'm here to help, okay? We're gonna have you out of here in no time.
Sit back and relax.
You sure you're okay? I mean, what that judge said about you just ain't so, is it? You know, that you're mad from not being in the wild and all? Well, even if you are, it doesn't matter.
Now you won't bite me, will ya? I mean, we're friends, aren't we? I mean, you wouldn't go and bite a friend, now would you? There, you see? This is going great.
I'm here, boy.
I'm here.
See? I told ya.
I didn't give up on you.
How you doing, boy? Yeah.
Come on.
We better get out of here.
Vecchio.
V-E-C-C- What do you mean he doesn't remember me? How can he not remember me? Alzheimer's.
Well, all right, fair enough.
It's all right, Ray.
Ah, look Fraser, even I know that animal's your best friend.
Yes, but he is an animal.
Oh, and a Riviera is just a car? Judge Maxwell's office just called.
He died two years ago.
Thank you, Elaine.
Well, those pictures weren't worth much anyway.
Yello? .
Hold on.
Hello? It's the ACC.
Your wolf seems to have escaped.
Escaped? It looks like he might have had some help.
It could have been one of those groups who release pets from labs.
It's the fashion these days.
- Willie.
- What's that? What will you do now? Notify the authorities and send an armed officer out to track him down.
He has been ordered destroyed.
I understand.
Thank you.
- Can you take me home? - Sure.
Did you get them? Could you hold them 'til I ask for them? It that your father's rifle? Why don't you let me do this for you? No, he's my wolf.
- How far you going? - Canada? Jump up.
Come on, boy.
Imagine running away to try and release him.
Kids got spirit.
Kid's a pain in the ass.
Would you please notify all the border control points? Thank you.
What he's taking him to Canada? - He's taking him back to the wild.
- Hey, that's out of my jurisdiction.
- Willie's in danger, Ray.
- From what, Diefenbaker? What's with him? I don't know.
Diefenbaker? Come here, boy.
Aw come on, man, this isn't Canada! Diefenbaker, wait up! Want to talk about it? No.
Come on, you love that wolf.
You loved your car.
Yeah, but a car isn't a person.
I mean, a car is nothing but a hunk of metal, steel, bolts, and leather.
I mean, I know that.
But the wolf, it's the damnedest thing.
It was like there's a person inside of him.
Diefenbaker, where you going? That's the wrong way! We just came from there.
Canada's that way.
Hey! Hey! That you, Elaine? Just got word from a Lake County Dispatcher.
A trucker reported picking up a kid with a wolf.
Ya got to hand it to the kid, he's got fugitive in his blood.
Trucker said he dropped them outside of Waukegan.
I checked the map.
There's an interchange there that serves the I-94.
We're coming up on it now.
Thank you kindly, Elaine.
Do you know where you're going? You're stubborn, you know that? Stubborn and stupid.
Hey Diefenbaker, wait up.
Dief, wait up.
Where you going, boy? Wait up! Come on boy! Diefenbaker! This is odd.
These tracks, they're headed south.
That's back where we came from.
Doesn't the kid know where north is? Well, of course he does.
I gave him a compass.
Yeah, I got a compass for my 10th birthday.
Every direction I turned, it pointed north.
Well it wouldn't matter, Ray.
Even if Willie was confused or the compass was broken, all he had to do is follow the highway.
Yet these tracks go the other way.
Good, maybe he got smart and he's going back home.
Look Fraser, the wolf's crazy.
Why don't you let the animal control guys take it from here? He's not crazy.
- He did that? - Yes.
Oh.
I wouldn't call peeling the bark off a tree normal behavior, even for a demented wolf.
It's hunting behavior.
When a wolf kills its prey, he peels off the hide.
It's more efficient for digestion.
But I don't see a carcass anywhere.
£a This is a good sign? Every wolf raised in the wild is born with the instinct to kill.
For food or self-preservation or to protect its own.
His anxiousness lately, running with that pack of strays, now this.
I think he's returning to his wild state.
Is that where we're going? Oh man! And what was with that bark thing? If you were hungry, all you had to do was say so.
I mean, gee.
I did pack sandwiches.
Oh man! Fraser's going to kill me.
Wait up, Diefenbaker! She'll be fine.
Can't use the others.
What do you expect me to do with them? Bone cancer clinic in Skokie.
Call them.
Yeah, no problem.
I'm heading North on I-94 right now Don't worry, I'll get him.
What's that? I gotta go.
That crazy wolf? He got loose.
Where are you going? Diefenbaker, wait up! This isn't our property, you know.
Diefenbaker! Hey, you! I'll get the wolf.
Get the husky!£a Hey, what are you doing? - I got orders.
- Yeah, well now you got new ones.
Back off.
Give me a bullet, Ray.
Quickly.
Come here.
All right.
Do it! Nooooooo! - Maggie? - What? The collar.
Maggie! There's more guys inside! It's my wolf.
You can't do this.
We haven't done anything illegal.
Well, not strictly.
Tell it to the judge.
You know, you could have told me about this.
It's not as though we're complete strangers.
I think she seems to be a very good choice.
That's what this was about? He's got a girlfriend? Well, actually it's a little more complicated than that, Ray.
This dog is with child.
Puppies? Wow! - His name is Buster.
- Hi, Buster.
Cool! Her name is Sunshine.
Yeah, that's real nice, kid, but try not to get the wolf hairs on my clothes.
You sure you don't want one? Oh, no thank you.
One wolf in the family is enough.
Well, we can visit.
I'll bring you.
Actually I think he can find his own way.
But you're welcome to join him, anytime.
Oh well uh, thank you kindly, but I-I-I wouldn't dream of-- I'll cook.
We'd be delighted.
Wouldn't we? Ah, I guess it's a kind of a nice cyclical thing.
You blowing up the Riv, and me saving your wolf.
On the other hand my Riv can't be replaced, and your wolf seems to have tripled.
Why can't it be replaced? Fraser, '71 Rivieras are extremely rare.
I traveled all the way to Buffalo to find that car.
They're impossible to find.
- Huh.
- Huh? What? Oh my God! Hey wait! Wait, stop! Police! Stop! Stop! Hey, hey! Stop! Police!