Evening Shade s01e15 Episode Script

It's morning in Evening Shade, and Luther Hawkins has just learned how not to slide down the rope in a gym.
Fortunately, Wood Newton's a pretty good nurse, can easily take care of a pair of sore hands.
But whether he can handle an assistant coach who's looking forward to a momentous occasion is a different story.
Oh, Luther, it's not a fire pole, you know.
It's a rope.
You can't just slide down.
You got to crawl down.
Yeah, well, you know, I thought it'd be fun.
Uh-huh.
Uh.
Yeah, yeah.
Better, huh? Uh-huh.
Thanks, Coach.
You're welcome.
Oh, hey.
Oh, hi, Coach Stiles.
Feeling a little bit better? Uh-huh.
Five on both hands.
Oh! Man! Oh, come on now, walk it off, get on out there.
Come on, act like you got a spine.
At least that's what my daddy'd say.
Your dad say that? Not exactly.
Oh, come on now.
I thought that was one of those things that dads say.
You know, sort of like, "Get rid of that magazine, and get to sleep.
" So, speaking of dads, would you mind taking my sixth period basic math class for me? Yeah.
All you really got to do is sit there and make sure Mike Niver doesn't spend the whole time making noises with his armpits.
Ah.
What's that got to do with dads? Mine called me.
He's passing through.
Wants to spend a couple of days with me.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
I haven't seen him in five years, not since my mom died.
Long time.
Yeah.
I wanted to get over to my place so I could make sure it looks like someplace where an assistant coach might live.
Do you mind if I borrow some of those Sports Illustrated magazines? I thought I'd scatter them around my place a little bit.
You know, maybe hang a jock strap off my bathroom door.
Well, hey, it's important that your dad knows you're a coach, right? I think it's going to make him real proud of me.
Yeah.
Listen, he's going to be over at the Barbecue Villa at 4:30.
Why don't you come over there? He'd like you, and I know you'd love him.
Everybody else does.
I got to take Molly someplace.
I'll-I'll come by right after.
Okay, listen, here's that problem I want you all to work on in sixth period.
Oh, I'm not too swift at math, you know.
Oh, come on, now, look.
Don't worry a thing about it.
It's just your basic algebra group theory problem.
Basic math here, that's all Yeah, basic math, okay? Yeah.
Polynomials, monomials, coefficients, things like that.
So tell me, is that the same Wood Newton that used to play for the Steelers? Sure is.
Born and raised right here in Evening Shade, and now he's our coach over at the high school.
Well, is that so? Now that's a guy I'd love to meet sometime.
Well, he's in here all the time.
If you're going to be around town a few days, you'll probably see him.
Oh, no.
No, I just stopped off the highway for a quick bite, and then got to be on my way.
Oh, well, in that case then, don't let all them crazy drivers out there get to you.
Uh-huh.
Keep your chin up.
You bet.
Golly, Coach.
Huh? What a coincidence.
That guy over there he was just saying how much he'd love to meet you.
Boy, he does look a lot like Herman, doesn't he? Hey, yeah, I reckon he does.
Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Wood Newton.
Well, hi.
Hi.
I was just saying I'd love to meet you sometime.
Yeah.
Well, I'd like to meet you, too.
You don't get here very often, do you? No, not at all.
Yeah.
Mind if I sit down? I'd love it.
Sit right down.
Oh, thank you.
I would have thought you'd have more important things to do.
Well, I I got about an hour I could kill.
Listen, why don't you come over to the house tonight? I know Ava'd like to meet you, and she's a heck of a good cook.
Have some dinner with us.
Well, maybe.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you spend the night? It'd be more convenient, wouldn't it? That'd be nice.
Yeah.
Oh, hey, Coach.
Hi.
Just making my third trip to the men's room.
I get a little nervous whenever my dad comes to town.
Isn't that embarrassing? Well, I really hadn't been paying that much attention.
Listen, I want to tell you something.
Herman is my right-hand man.
I wouldn't know what to do without him.
Uh-huh.
Well, I'm glad you found each other.
Yeah.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Coach.
Oh, that's okay.
By the way, I'm Herman Stiles.
Isn't he the daddy? Lord, no.
Who the hell are you? My name's Bud Briscoe.
I'm national representative of American National Cash Register and Computers.
Or did I say that? No.
Well, congratulations, and enjoy your lunch.
Yeah.
Well, thanks.
Thanks for the invitation.
You still want me to come over the house? Well, we'll talk about it, okay? You thought that guy was my dad? Well, wouldn't you? Lord, no.
He looks like a wimp.
Then I do have the advantage on you.
I already know what my dad looks like.
You want to tell me so I don't make a fool of myself next time? Ah, don't worry.
There's no mistaking Brick Stiles.
He walks into a room, women swoon, men tremble.
Push 'em back, push 'em back.
Oh, hey, Nub.
Hey.
Hey.
There's the biggest, shiniest truck I've ever seen parking around the corner on First Street.
Is there a great big mural painted along the side of it? Yeah.
It's beautiful.
Is it kind of like a cowboy sitting on his horse, staring off into the sunset? Yup.
That's him.
Yup.
Y'all should come look at it.
It's so pretty, I figure it must have been paid for by a federal grant.
Hey, hey.
Ho, ho.
Move that ball Well, he's here.
Now, relax.
There's nothing to be nervous about.
Oh, yeah! Oh, this is the barbecue joint.
I could smell it all the way out to the city limits.
How's that? Good, ain't it, pard? Hey, boy.
Good to see you.
Hi, Dad.
It's been a long time.
Brick Stiles.
I'm, uh, Wood Newton.
I work with your son.
How do you like? You really are the Wood Newton who was quarterback for the Steelers.
Yeah.
Damn! Yeah, that's him.
I'm his assistant.
Yeah, you mentioned that in your letter.
You know Sit down.
He He wanted to fly me out here for the game, but I couldn't do it 'cause that was during the time I was doing this stretch of 10,000 miles in ten days.
I took carburetors to Spokane.
Then I went to Providence with some kind of snack cakes.
And then I went up to South Dakota and had dinner with Dolores.
Down to Florida.
I was carrying parts for that Hubble Space Telescope.
You never told me about that Hubble Space Telescope.
What part were you carrying? The part that worked.
Yeah, boy, I hope you realize how lucky you are working with this man.
He's a living legend.
Tell me something.
That AFC game when you broke your collarbone Oh, I didn't break it.
Somebody broke it for me.
Dang, that's good! I don't know what you did to deserve this.
It's got to be a thrill tagging after a man like that.
Wood Newton! He doesn't tag after me.
He's an integral part of our our coaching staff.
Yeah.
Listen, there's a million things I want to talk to you about.
What do you say I order up four or five orders of ribs here, and some beer, and we'll just sit here and I can let you tell me all about what it was like then playing with the big boys, huh? Well, I-I I'd love that, but I got to get home because, uh, Ava's making fried chicken tonight.
Fried Well, hey, now you're talking.
Fried chicken's my favorite food group.
I told you he's an outlaw.
Cholesterol don't phase him at all.
Not a bit.
Yeah, well, I'm sure you guys would like to You know, it's been five years.
You want to catch up on stuff.
Oh, catching up won't take no time.
I'm still trucking.
You still teaching? Yep.
There you go! What time you want us over to the house? Well My wife says I can spend the night, too.
Okay.
Who's doing the dishes tonight? Molly.
Taylor.
No, that's all right.
We'll take care of it.
You guys have homework to do.
Uh, Will, your room is a mess.
Brick, why don't you and Herman go sit on the couch, and we'll get y'all some coffee.
Got any pie to go with it? No.
Good thing you're not running a truck stop.
Yeah.
I agree.
Well, that's all right.
I'll settle for coffee.
If your coffee's as good as your chicken, I'll move right in with you.
Great.
Great.
You have got to do something.
Well, honey, I I tried to talk about it, but he just keeps changing the subject.
Well, try again.
Say something nice about Herman.
Okay.
Well, Brick I bet you're happy the way Herman turned out, huh? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll tell you one thing.
I never thought he'd be working with Wood Newton.
I'll bet you didn't know he was one of the most feared disciplinarians in the school.
I am? Yeah.
Well, remember when you stopped that fight between? Ed Satterfield and John Turley? Right.
They were fighting over a plate of spaghetti.
And, uh, Herman ran in there, and he kicked the spaghetti out of the way.
And he stopped the fight.
He did? Well, actually, it was more like I slipped in the spaghetti.
Yeah.
But, as you were slipping, you you kicked the spaghetti.
Well, it was an instinctual move.
I'm kind of like a cat that way.
That's right.
And then he got up, and he stopped the fight.
Well, I kind of stood up between them while they were laughing.
That's right.
I I wouldn't have thought of that.
I I How'd you do that? What's your secret? Well, it's not really a secret.
Yeah? I mean, it's really It's not a secret so much as it's an attitude that you assume.
Uh-huh.
It's sort of like I mean, I kind of take to it naturally, being a trucker's son and all.
I mean, you know, you never know what you're going to do until you're in the middle of a situation.
It doesn't depend whether you're in the cafeteria or on the football field.
I mean, but whatever the situation is, once you assume that attitude Ava! Ava! Listen.
I'm I'm sorry.
Didn't know you had company, but you got to lend me some Robitussin.
I've got the most awful cold.
I don't think I can make it for lunch tomorrow.
That was awfully rude of you.
Excuse me? I said that was awfully rude of you, barging in here, pushing us, right when I was trying to make an important point.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is my own family.
And it is not rude when it is your own family.
Who are you to be using that tone of voice with me? Listen, you are still just a little old puff of a man.
And, if you think that I have been rude so far, well, you haven't seen anything yet.
I don't know who you are busting in like that, and I don't care, 'cause I just got one thing to say to you.
You and me, tomorrow night, 8:00.
Well, good morning to you, Frieda.
Look, Wood, I don't want you to think for one minute that you are going to get away with fixing me up with that Neanderthal truck driver.
Like a cup of coffee? No, I don't want a cup of coffee! Umm.
Well, I don't remember fixing you up.
As a matter of fact, I think he asked you out.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He did not ask.
He announced, like one of those awful wrestlers on TV.
Uh-huh.
All you had to say was no.
I said no.
You heard me say no over and over again.
I said no every time he called me on the phone.
But, well, it's like trying to stop a charging rhinoceros with a squirt gun.
Mm-hmm.
Have you ever tried to deal with somebody like that? Yes, I have.
You know, I think this has been good for you.
You got a little bloom to your cheeks.
Feeling better, aren't you? Well, now, you see, that just goes to show how much you know.
I had to literally drag myself out of my sick bed so that I could come here today and see what you're going to do about him.
I'm not going to do anything about it.
I'm not responsible for it.
You are, too, responsible.
Wood, the whole thing started at your house.
He's your friend.
He's not my friend.
He's he's Herman's dad.
Wood, listen.
A woman of some substance and refinement, such as myself, just should not have to be followed around town by a lovesick redneck in a Peterbilt truck! I just want you to get that man out of my life! Why? Why?! Because the man's nothing but a-a bad country-western song waiting to happen, and When I was young, he was the kind of man that always broke my heart! What's she so upset about? She doesn't want to go out with your dad, and I don't blame her.
Why? Because he's pressing too hard.
Well, that's his style.
Don't be fooled by her.
She loves it.
Women go crazy for it.
Yeah? Who told you that? He did.
Why? Well, doesn't that make you wonder? Wonder about what? Wonder if he's really so charming.
He's famous for his charm.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about the fact that maybe he isn't as charming as everybody says he is.
Maybe he's not like Fred Astaire.
Maybe he's more like Fred Flintstone.
Ooh.
We're getting a little over-judgmental here, aren't we? Look, I don't want to be responsible for all this stuff, all right? I'm responsible for the team losing four years in a row, which, by the way, is an Arkansas record.
I'm responsible for taking my kids all over the town because my wife is pregnant, which I am responsible for.
I don't want to be responsible for everything.
Well, la-dee-da.
What the hell's that supposed to mean? It means you may just have to be responsible for it.
It ought to be obvious to you by now that man ain't interested in anything I have to say.
You're the one he likes.
Well, I don't care if he likes me.
I don't like him.
Why? 'Cause he's a jerk! You think my dad's a jerk? I'm sorry, Herman.
I hate the way he treats you.
I'm, I'm sorry.
That man worships the ground you walk on.
And you think he's a jerk? Maybe I shouldn't have used the word "jerk," I guess, but, but he is, he is a jerk.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Let me talk to you! I don't want to talk! I think you said enough.
I just love that new lipstick you're wearing.
You must be feeling a lot better.
I am not feeling better.
I'm not feeling one bit better.
Mm-hmm.
As a matter of fact, I never felt worse, but I knew if I stayed home, that man would just keep calling me up.
Come on.
You're not enjoying this just a little bit? Look, in your wildest imagination, can you really see me going out with somebody like that? Sure.
Oh, look, there's little Herman all by himself.
I'm gonna ask him to join us.
Oh, Ava, please.
He's the reason I'm in this mess.
It's not his fault.
Be nice.
Herman? Hi.
Oh, hey.
You all right? Yeah.
I was just sorting a few things out.
You're welcome to join us, if you'd like.
Oh, thanks.
I- I think I'd rather be by myself right now.
Nothing personal.
Oh, sure.
Thanks.
Okay.
Oh, hey.
Well, this is a nice surprise.
You want to join us for lunch? I gotta say something to Herman.
Well, I just talked to him.
He's pretty down.
I'll give it a shot.
Okay.
Herman, I'm, uh, I'm sorry about what I said about your dad this morning.
You said what you felt like you had to say.
I don't feel much like talking right now.
Okay.
If you change your mind, we're sitting over here.
Is he all right? Oh, I really screwed up this morning.
I said a whole bunch of stuff about his dad.
Well, I hope you used the words "loud," "obnoxious" and "overbearing.
" Well, I'll get to you later.
Very funny.
Very funny.
Look, I can't stand big old, physical men like that.
He's got that big, square chest.
The thing must be 60 inches.
And that neck, it's probably a 19-inch collar size, and Then that little bitty old waist couldn't be more than 34 inches.
You measured his inseam yet? No! Hey, Wood! Hey, Ava! Well, speak of the devil.
Oh, there's that pretty little thoroughbred filly I'm taking out tonight.
Yeah! I do not want to be seen talking to that man in a restaurant full of people.
Now go do something! I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna have two of them deluxe rib plates, sweetheart.
Now just let me check that sauce, would you? You don't mind, do you, pard? Say, I think it needs some sugar and whiskey, you know? Sugar brings out the essence of the spices and the whiskey gives it that old, "Who hit John?" Now you go and tell the cook.
And he'll have a sauce he can write home about.
How you doing, boy? Hi, Brick.
Hey.
I was wondering if I could talk to you a minute.
Yeah.
Let's sit over there with the ladies, all right? Listen, I got your Aunt Frieda about half roped, but I still gotta get her into the barn, if you get me.
Well, that's what I was gonna talk to you about.
Excuse me, Coach.
Mind if I talk to my dad for a couple of minutes? Oh, sure.
Yeah, just a second, because my buddy's got something he wants to discuss with me.
Yeah, well, so do I.
Now why don't you just sit down and quit making a horse's butt out of yourself? What'd you say? You heard me.
Can't you see what you're doing? You, you're acting like a jerk.
I mean, these are professional barbecue people.
You telling them how to do their job? I don't know why it surprises me, though.
Come to think of it, you've been acting like a jerk as long as I can remember.
Remember my college graduation? Ceremony hadn't been over five minutes.
I'm out there trying to be photographed in my cap and gown.
You come up in a pickup truck.
"What's everybody doing standing around here? Big tractor pull going on over at the fairground.
" Herman, I don't think this is the right time to be tal No, Miss Ava, please.
I'm not finished.
I've been trying real hard to believe that you're this great man.
I kept thinking other people were seeing something in you that I was just missing.
I finally figured out what it is.
They were only having to see you for a couple of hours at a time when you'd pass through town.
They didn't have to live with you.
They didn't have to make themselves crazy trying to turn themselves into something you might pay just a little bit of attention to.
Herman, I think No, I'm on a roll.
Right.
You come into town here telling me you're gonna visit with me for a couple days.
Well, why don't you just do that instead of following the Coach around pestering him to talk about things he's probably sick and tired of talking about? Following poor Miss Frieda around, acting like some kind of bull moose in heat.
Herman, listen, I really do appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't need you to defend me.
Listen, I'm not interested in what you need or what you don't need right now.
And if you call me a little puff of a man, you gonna regret it.
Now sit down.
You're the legendary Brick Stiles.
Well, I'm Herman Stiles.
I'm your son! And And I love you.
Now, I may not be much to be proud of, but I certainly don't think I'm anything to be ashamed of.
I'm what I am.
And if that's not good enough for anybody in this room, then step outside.
Hmm! Hello! Oh, God! Oh! I thought that was you.
My Lord in heaven! Don't you think you're gonna just throw me down in the snow and have your way with me! Look, I am not a well woman.
I only came over here to borrow this vaporizer.
Don't you worry about it now.
I just got some business I gotta attend to first anyhow.
Anyway, it's way past 8:00.
Now I don't think you ought to talk to people that break dates without even calling.
You kept telling me we didn't have a date.
Well, we didn't.
But if we did, you'd have missed it.
Now No, I bet you had some real romantic evening planned at some demolition derby someplace.
I didn't either.
What I had in mind was a place out on 167 for dinner and dancing.
It's French.
Oh.
Maybe next time I come through? I doubt it.
Well I mean, I well, I'm tempted.
I am.
'Cause I could fix it so you'd have to stop chasing me around 'cause I'd just wear you out.
Us old truckers don't wear out, baby doll.
We just downshift.
Oh! I can't believe I yelled at him like I did.
You know, at least Brick is still around.
I'd give anything in the world just to hear my dad yell at me one more time.
Hey, Wood, Wood, you in there? I'm trying to find Herman.
He's Yo! I'm looking all over hell for him.
Yeah, I've been looking all over hell for you, too.
Where'd you go? Well, I made my delivery over to Batesville.
I told you I was gonna do that.
And now I'm back.
I got a few days off.
So what? 'Cause I said I was gonna spend a few days with you, didn't I? Excuse me a minute.
I just want a couple minutes Oh, no problem.
It's nothing personal.
No problem.
No problem.
Yeah, Wood.
Oh I don't know how to say this.
I'm just gonna come right out with it, all right? Now, this afternoon when you stood up to me in the middle of that place, I had a realization that you got some grit.
By God, I was proud of you.
Hey.
Now, don't you ever do a thing like that to me again, you understand?! I've never been so embarrassed in my life! My God! People were staring at you like you was a lunatic! Talk about being a horse's butt, my God! Well, what's the difference in that and you walking in there shooting off your big mouth, acting like you own the place?! That's a whole different kind of thing! I was trying to be entertaining! Yeah, well, those people were laughing at you, not laughing with you.
They were not laughing at me! They were, too! Should we do something? No.
They're just being father and son.
You know why I didn't go to high school? Why? Because I had to go out and work; do a man's job.
Well, then why didn't you bring any of the money home?! I did! In Evening Shade We ain't afraid to get a little laid-back And let the daylight fade Life goes slow and it's worth a lot more When you got it made And we got it made in the shade Evening Shade.