Gossip Girl s01e15 Episode Script
114 - Desperately Seeking Serena
Here--your one and only source Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
I got three cases of champagne for Serena Van Der Woodsen.
For me? Who's it from? Porn and handcuffs? This is low,Chuck,even for you.
What's this? Chuck said it came for you this morning.
Whoa.
Is that coke? How do you like a brother who uses you as a drug mule? - I can't believe you think Chuck is doing these things.
- What's he done now? I'll tell you what he's done.
If we're gonna exist under the same roof, - I am laying down some house rules.
- No need,princess.
Bart already kicked me out.
- I'm moving back to my suite.
-I love you,Nate Archibald.
Always have,always will.
I want nothing else to do with you,Blair.
It's over.
Jenny,if you walk away from me now,I will ruin you.
- How are you gonna do that? - My mother's Valentino was stolen.
- Oh,my god.
That's my mother's dress.
- Do you think that you can just send me off to school With a plaid skirt and a metrocard, - And everything will be okay? - I'm really sorry, Chuck.
I know it wasn't you who sent me that stuff.
And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.
o.
x.
o.
,gossip girl.
Captioned by closed captioning services,inc.
There are three things we do alone-- We are born,we die, And if we're a high school junior headed for college, We take the S.
A.
T.
And while the test is said to measure our best traits, Preparing for it Inevitably brings out the worst humility becomes self-doubt Guess we're all in trouble,huh? Striving becomes obsession.
"It's Tuesday on the other side of town" Some are driven to self-medication "Most would just give up for dead" So I said,"Alfie,don't get so upset" We all get scared of sticking out our necks It's expected While others cling to the security Of being part of a group.
Ooh,Ah Ba,Ba,Ba Ba,Ba,Sha-Doo,Be-Doo Ba,Ba,Ba And anyone who's used to bending the rules Will find themselves breaking them.
Ba,ba,ba,ba,ba,sha-doo Come on,come on it's time to lose control Come on,come on turn off your radio Come on,come on you're gonna feel all right Come on,come on let's do the panic tonight Uhh! Ugh! Dad,don't ever do that again.
Just doing what I was told.
time's up.
I was instructed that whenever time was up, I should share that information.
Yes,but the manner in which you went about itit was like - You were deliberately trying to humiliate me.
- How about? Uh half.
I finished exactly half in the allowed time.
- Well,you're a smart kid.
- I'm a choker.
I choke.
Mm,just in your head.
T-ball.
First grade.
Remember this? Bases loaded, and I stuck out.
You were 6.
The ball was on a tee,not moving.
You'll come through.
You're basing that on what,exactly? Blind faith? - Bye.
-Wait.
- Dad,I'm gonna be late.
- I'm coming with you.
- What? You're walking me to school? - Ineed the exercise.
I made one mistake.
It doesn't mean I need - A human ankle monitor.
- You used to beg me to walk you to school.
- You'd cry if I didn't walk you to class.
- That wasn't me.
that was Dan.
It's true,but I was 6, And it an emotional time for me.
It was post-t-ball.
Jenny,what you did was wrong And really out of character.
Grounding you is not just about punishment.
- We need to spend some time together, reconnect.
- Yeah, I want that,too.
Just not in public and in front of my friends.
All right.
Tonight.
Dinner.
Okay.
And I have group rehearsal.
- I'm the alto.
- And I'm really proud, But we are connecting this evening over Lasagna.
Hey,Jen,you wanna wait up for a second? we could take the Well,A-All right,I'll see ya at school.
It's 90th percentile.
Which means Nelly Yuki probably got 2300.
And you don't even talk to her.
why do you care how she does? Nelly Yuki has her sights set on Yale,too.
What are the odds Of them accepting two girls from constance? And have you seen Nelly Yuki's extracurriculars? I need to kick her well-rounded ass.
And they say you've lost your edge.
Nelly Yuki must be destroyed.
- Why do you keep saying her name? - Because it's Nelly Yuki.
Ew,gross.
Incoming--chuck.
You ready? No,I gotta wait for Dan.
He's pretty stressed.
He doesn't do well with tests,so performance anxiety? Bye,Blair.
She really needs to tone down on the social niceties.
It's embarrassing.
Eventually,the two of you - Are gonna have to work out your issues.
- What issues? I'm issue-free.
And,uh,based on my exhaustive research, So are you.
Georgina? According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle.
She's in switzerland,dating the prince of Belfort.
There's a prince of Belfort? uh-huh.
And she's dating him? oh,thank God.
Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you With peace of mind and maybe Chuck in the room.
Oh,shoot.
Except we're siblings.
Georgie always brought out the devil in you.
Part of me is a little disappointed she's not here.
Mm,I wonder which part.
It's been a while since I saw the old Serena.
Well,thanks to her, The new one has to break 2000 on her S.
A.
T.
s.
So if you could just go smarm elsewhere The offer still stands.
I know a,uh,lovely little redhead That's just dying to be you for the day.
Oh,I'll leave the cheating to you,Chuck.
I plan on taking the S.
A.
T.
s myself.
You have no idea how lucky you are.
Seriously,Jenny.
I would do anything to be a freshman again.
Junior year sucks.
Nate doesn't call.
I'm not ready for the s.
a.
t.
s.
Maybe I should join Kati on the Kibbutz in Israel, - Quit now.
- You guys,it's just a test.
Look,cram session tonight.
My dad's making lasagna.
My brother's got tons of flash cards, And I'm totally available to help.
That won't be necessary,little J.
You girls are all taken care of, Courtesy of Blair Waldorf S.
A.
T.
prep and spa.
Are you serious? If you're gonna sweat the test,it better not clog your pores.
This evening at my penthouse,you'll find personal tutors, Hot stone massages,mani-pedis and an amazing acupuncturist Who specializes in mental acuity.
Guess that beats my dad's lasagna.
I'll flickr over some photos for you.
Oh,it's upperclassmen only.
I'm sure you understand.
Totally.
Wait up,B.
I'm so glad I didn't book that flight to tel Aviv.
Spotted in the halls of constance--little j.
realizing That age really does come before beauty.
S.
a.
t.
s? Yeah.
yeah,and,uh,soccer? Why not give the old ball a kick? Season's just around the corner in October.
No,no,you know what? I have to stop doing that.
I'll just focus on myself and my--my test and my prep.
What other people do or don't do is about them,absolutely.
Not a good tester,huh? Oh,Chuck,I had no idea you felt that way about me.
Good to know you're at least still kind of funny.
Hey,I'm so sorry.
I've been completely off the radar the past few days.
New home,new family.
It's okay.
Yeah,it's,um,pretty overwhelming.
Yeah,II've been a little overwhelmed myself lately.
Well,you wanna hang out Study? Mmm.
ooh.
I wanna take whatever s.
a.
t.
prep course You're signed up for.
Well,it's not too late.
Okay.
I'm in,then.
I'll see you.
You always did know how to leave them wanting more.
Oh,my god,Georgina.
- What are you doing here? - Well,I told you I was coming.
Didn't you get my gifts? - Uh,you're supposed to be in switzerland dating a prince.
Luckily daddy didn't need the g5.
Haven't you missed me? How could I not? Okay.
You don't want to throw me a homecoming party.
I get it,but let's have a cocktail, Catch up.
S.
,you're really gonna hurt my feelings, And you know how I get when my feelings are hurt.
Great.
I'll see you tonight.
It's so weird seeing you.
It's almost like i never left.
Spotted in the courtyard-- Serena looking like she's seen a ghost-- The ghost of parties past.
- Jenny,why did you want to meet here? - Well,I've been thinking-- What's the one thing that no one in our group has, I mean,not even Blair? - Compassion? No,a boyfriend.
you know,if I'm gonna make it to queen, I need a king.
Queen Elizabeth never had a boyfriend.
But she only had the spanish to conquer, And I have Blair Waldorf.
Let's talk qualifications.
He has to be cute,but not fool of himself.
He has to be from the right kind of family Ugh,but not disgusting.
Come on.
Whoa! Oh,oh,aw I'm so sorry.
are you okay? Yeah,uh,my lunch isn't,though.
Oh,Linus.
Let me give you my last dollar.
Oh,I couldn't.
You shouldn't be walking the streets with no money.
Let's just settle for an i.
o.
u.
then.
It's just a hot dog.
That was just my excuse to give this to you.
Here's my number.
Thank you.
I mean,it's fine.
I mean,I'm really not even that hungry.
Well,if you change your mind What are you doing? He's gorgeous.
He's a dog walker.
I need a king,not a jester.
Come on.
Let's go lurk outside dalton.
- Hey.
- Vanessa.
You're nate,right? You play a very small but crucial role In my video project.
- Oh,that's right.
I remember you following Dan around with your video camera.
- Hey,Nate.
What are you doing here? I mean,I know the coffee's good Since I've taken every s.
a.
t.
prep and review class In the five boroughs,I figured why not pay it forward? So--so you don't need these? You know,I've actually already taken it.
My parents don't want me going to u.
s.
c.
, So I had to make sure my scores were good enough To get in without their help,which,thanks to these books, They were,so i'm done.
- While we all love hearing about the struggles of the idle rich, Dan's got a fine tutor right here.
I ace every practice test i take, - So we don't need your hand-me-downs.
- Um,you know what? th-this is actually pretty good.
- This looks good.
thank you.
- Is there a reason you insist On looking so desperate and needy? - She's been like that since we were kids-- Venomous without provocation.
It's better than being a charity case.
She's rude,too.
I see that.
Yeah.
Well,i gotta get going, But i hope these are useful.
Oh,yeah,yeah,very.
Thank you.
What? They're--hey,every little bit helps.
Is this really the best place for us to talk? You of all people know Nothing gets me talking like a cosmo.
A lot has changed since we used to hang out,Georgie.
- I know.
I get it.
- No,you don't get it,or you wouldn't have sent me All those so-called gifts in the first place.
Oh,come on,sweetie.
Those were funny.
Get over yourself.
I was just trying to make you laugh.
How about this-- How about for one night, We hang out like old times,but unlike old times, I won't get out of control,unless you want me to.
I mean,i can totally get out-- No,okay.
I-i won't get out of control, And i totally respect that.
Please stop me any time you feel like answering.
Any time.
come on.
One drink,but only one.
Cheers.
Where are all the tutors? - And the masseuses? - And the smoothies? All that i have promised you is waiting.
And while it gives me great pleasure To think of us crossing that s.
a.
t.
finish line together, Before the race can begin, You need to be made aware of one little thing.
Nelly Yuki,top in our class, Summer schooled at the Sorbonne.
Lots of people do summer at Sorbonne,including me.
True.
Penelope,you may be a national merit scholar, But Nelly Yuki is a merit scholar A Peabody scholar And an intel science talent search finalist.
Isabel,you're a concert pianist, But Itzhak Perlman himself gave Nelly her very first violin.
Hazel You're just along for the ride,'kay? But if any of us wants to live out our college dreams, We have to find Nelly Yuki's weakness And exploit it.
So what's it gonna be-- aromatherapy or annihilation? What's the plan? It was,like,the worst thing ever, And then--and then,do you remember? Do you remember when we ran out of money? And then i had to flash the bartender 'Cause we ran out of money.
Wait,wait.
Oh,my god.
Remember when we were Savannah and Svetlana? - Oh,Savannah.
Savannah! I totally forgot about Savannah and Svetlana.
Svetlana.
Wait,no,I think we were Tiffany and Angel that night.
Oh,you could talk me into anything.
Hey,ladies,can i,uh,get you guys another round? - Ooh.
- No,thank you.
Hmm.
Oh.
My american girlfriend, So uptight.
They think the drink lead to the sex.
No,no,no,I wasn't being rude.
I just didn't want to take anything If I couldn't offer anything in return.
We'd be happy with just one dance.
Aw.
Aw.
I'm afraid i have two left feet.
Aw,this is what is the practice for.
Come on,lady.
Opa! Who is that? Um,no one.
uh,thank you for calling back.
Ahh! Nadine the beauty queen.
How can i help you? I don't have time for this.
Do you want 1 or 2 g's? Can you just give it-- some dealer you know? I didn't realize i brought my grandmother.
I have to go.
Hey,come here.
Whoo! I'm so stupid,so,so,so,so stupid.
You don't sound stupid.
You sound drunk.
What have you been into? Georgina.
Good news is,she doesn't want anything except to party.
Bad news is,I partied.
Care to paint a picture? Does this party require clothes? I'm supposed to be at Dan's studying.
I called to tell him I'd be late, But not this late.
II just have to call him and say That instead of studying with him, You're out with your old pal Georgina.
No.
I don't want him to know she exists.
My mom,Blair,even you can't stand her.
Dan of all people cannot know Georgie.
Can you help me? Say you need me.
Chuck! Hearing you scream my name is more than enough.
I'll take care of it and pick you up in ten.
Hey,I've been wondering where you were.
You mean all of your life? Uh,don't take this the wrong way,Serena, But you sound just like this jackass we know.
Serena has food poisoning.
She's too sick to come to your playdate.
Put her on the phone.
The bathroom doesn't get reception.
Somehow I don't believe you.
And I'd like to say I'm a little glad about that, But my poor,sick sister has asked for my assistance In the matter,so I'll leave it at this She's not coming.
Don't try calling.
Humphrey,always a pleasure.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Hey.
Beautiful day you're ruining,isn't it? Do me a favor,please,and leave Serena alone.
It was Serena I was doing a favor All i know is before spring break, Everything was great.
It was good.
Now break's over,she's not quite herself, And I'mI'm trying to think,what has changed in her life? Oh,the Bass family moved into it.
Dan,hi.
Hey.
hey,how you feeling? Good.
my Migraine's gone.
Migraine? I thought you had food poisoning.
Yeah,that came after.
What exactly happened last night? I already told him.
I'm asking Well,I got food poisoning,and then Chuck helped me out.
Okay,where exactly did you eat That you got this killer food poisoning Migraine? Can we drop the interrogation? As soon as you tell me where my girlfriend is.
I'm right here with you.
Look,II gotta go to class.
I can't I can't do this.
This is exactly why I didn't want her to come back.
She's been back a day already and look what's happening.
If it's really that bad, Why don't you just tell him about her? I can't.
I'll see you later.
Look,I'm not stupid.
I know you're not really interested In how my family owns half of tribeca.
of course we're interested.
You're the newest member of our little club.
Which is only for the smartest girls of the junior class.
Our junior class only has 30 girls.
We're already an elite club.
Can I go now? You what would be hot? you,us at G Spa.
I don't drink.
Saks fifth? hate shopping.
Yogurt on the steps? lactose-intolerant.
Look,I really don't want any friends.
All I want is to be alone And to listen to Florida ever again.
What happened? A little backstage hit it and quit it? What? No,my boyfriend broke up with me at a Florida Concert.
One minute we were waving our hands in the air Like we just didn't care,and the next Since the dalton guys were a bust, How about collegiate? The boys' lacrosse team is working out just around Jenny,look.
What did I tell you about that dog walker? There are no kings on Craigslist.
But I don't think he's the walker.
I think he's the owner.
I spy my king.
Hi.
How have you been? Oh,god.
Not that song.
Nelly Yuki,what's wrong? It's like it's happening all over again.
That song just reminds me of my boyfriend My ex-boyfriend,I should say.
Oh,no.
Did he dump you? That's horrible.
Wwwhat was his name? Brad? Bill? Todd Jansen.
There's nothing like the fresh,sharp pain of a breakup.
Believe me,I've had my fair share of heartache, But this is about you.
Tonight you're gonna come over to my house, And just cry till you get it all out of your system.
I can't.
I have to be focused tomorrow.
You can't focus when something's on your mind, Now can you? come,come,come.
Tell me all about it.
I guess I'll just take the check,please.
Okay.
Hey, hold that, will ya? Daylight Savings moved to March.
Maybe no one told you.
I know I'm late.
Coffee, Nate? Yeah,thanks,Cora.
You two know each other? I've been here before.
Are you telling me you come all the way to Brookn For greek food? Well,when I'm Brooklyn,I like to come here,yes.
'Cause you're in Brooklyn all the time.
Well,mymy father's in rehab a couple blocks away, And,uh,which,by the way, is why I'm late.
I was Visiting hours I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to No.
I mean, it's not like it's some big secret.
It was on the front page of every newspaper in the city.
I guess it was, yeah.
Sometimes after I'm done seeing him, I'm not ready to go back and see my mom just yet, So I come here and I sit and just, uh Think about how hard it is To know whose side you're supposed to be on, Mom versus dad, kid in the middle? Confession I read one of your practice essays.
You left it in a book that you gave dan, And that's why I called you to apologize.
Why? Because I judged the cover, But now that I've read the book, I figured you were owed some apologetic souvlaki, At the very least.
Hey, Georgie.
It was good to see you last night.
When did you say you were going back to Belgium? Uh, Switzerland, actually, And I'm supposed to leave tomorrow, But I'm not going until I get a chance To make it up to you first.
Oh, nothing to make up.
I had fun.
No, you didn't.
I mean, until after you left, I don't think I really heard what you were saying.
I-I didn't get it.
You've really changed.
Yeah, I have.
I don't mean to sound corny, But it's a real inspiration to me.
Really? I mean, look, I've always thought That i am who I'm going to be for the rest of my life, And even those times when I maybe don't like myself, Well you can't decide to be somebody else.
No, you can.
yeah, listen, let's have dinner.
I-I mean, I want to hear about your life, And if you can change, maybe there's hope for me, too.
No, i-i have to study.
I have S.
A.
Ts in the morning.
It'll just be an hour.
We can time it.
I promise.
The hardest drug on the table will be Perrier.
SpottedSerena Van Der Woodsen Being given a real life multiple choice question "A"--go home and study, "B"--get a good night's sleep, "C"--call your boyfriend Or "D" An hour.
None of the above Good.
Hope that wasn't the wrong answer, S.
This test doesn't grade on a curve.
All right, "capacious"-- Looks like "spacious.
What does it mean? Roomy.
Oh, yeah.
"Captious.
" Looks like That looks like"capacious.
" Oh.
I can't concentrate.
Sound of your own voice distracting you? No.
it's, uh, Serena, actually.
We had an argument.
I'm home! Oh! Look it.
Trig identities are memorized, My latin is resurrected, and my lit paper's finished.
Impressive.
Seeing as you've returned the valentino, And you've logged ten hours of volunteer work With Betty at the shop - I'm not grounded anymore? I have something for you.
No way! - Oh! - It's not exactly the same as the one you pawned, But Thank you, dad! You know, Jen, no one's happier than me to see this.
Do you know how much it costs to get a zipper repaired? - Yeah, I figured since you'd be spending so much time at home - Wait.
What? - So I guess you're still grounded.
- Dan.
- Dad, wait.
- I met this really nice guy, And I'm supposed to meet him in the park for lunch tomorrow.
- Well, grounded or not grounded, - You're not old enough to date.
- It's not a date.
He's just a friend.
- Who is this guy? - You don't know him.
He goes to unity.
- Wait, upper east side unity? - Technically, that's upper west side, dad.
- How are you helping? - I thought you wanted to take a break from that whole crowd.
- What "whole crowd"? - The one that made you feel like compromising your character Was a prerequisite to hanging out with them.
- So it's okay for dan to date someone rich, though? Well, it's not without its complications.
Believe me.
I thought you said it wasn't a date.
It was nice there for a minute.
- It was.
Hey, S.
I'm just sipping a gingko biloba blended And wondering how your stomach migraine is.
Call me so i don't worry.
How you doing, Nelly Yuki? My upper trapezius seems to hold a lot of sadness.
Something tells me you'll be feeling better very soon Any minute.
No.
I think I should just go home and study.
Uh, Mr.
Jansen is here to see Miss Yuki.
Todd's here? Do I have cushion face? A little.
Hello, Todd.
Hi, Nelly.
Blair said it was all right if I came.
For a siberian ginseng pedi? No.
I really feel bad about how things ended, Nell.
So do I.
- Can we talk about it? In private? - Okay.
Thank you, B.
Lucky for us, Mental acuity and common sense rarely come in the same package.
Oxygen facials, anyone? Next time your sister's band is in town, I want front row seats.
You don't strike me as a lesbian punk fan.
You know, I am almost offended by how much You underestimate me, Ms.
Abrams.
- You like punk? - Oh, I didn't hear you s--you said "punk"? Cause you had me at "lesbian.
" Oh, right.
Didn't see that one coming.
- Hey, tell me something.
- Yes? Why do you do S.
A.
T.
practice tests If you're not planning on taking the exam? To help dan study.
I'm a filmmaker.
Best education for me is making films.
I can't never met anyone Who thought college was optional.
My parents are artists.
My sister's a musician.
Just like going to an ivy is your family's way, Not going to college is mine.
Think your parents want to adopt a 17 year old? Maybe? So So I guess this is good night, then? I don't live here, you know.
No, I know.
I'm just grabbing my laptop.
Do you want to come inside? God.
It does feel like that doorstep moment.
And what moment would that be? Yeah.
that's the moment.
Can I get you two a cocktail? Oh.
I'm fine with my diet coke.
Thank you.
Um, yeah, me, too.
Thanks.
So tell me about dan.
I did.
Oh, come on.
His last name and his zip code? Scintillating details.
Come on.
He's part of Serena second edition.
Well I-I like the way I feel when he looks at me.
How? Like like I wanna believe in myself.
I-I know.
You think it's a clich? Uh, no.
no, sweetie.
I-I-I think it's It's incredible.
Yeah.
LookI know I may not be Your most trusted friend right now, But I think I know the old you pretty well.
Yeah, better than, um, anyone, actually.
Well, from where I sit, it would take A lot to bring that person back.
Um I'm gonna call him, actually.
He's pretty nervous about tomorrow, So I wanna wish him luck.
So I'll be back.
- That was quick.
- Yeah, he didn't pick up.
- Oh, you can try him again later.
- Yeah.
- Okay, I'd like to propose a toast.
- Okay.
To the new you.
To the new me.
Cheers.
Ooh.
You don't look so good.
You okay, S? No, I'm not okay.
Wait, how did we get here? What are we doing here? Oh, my god.
I'm supposed to be at Hunter college.
If memory serves, and it usually does, - They don't let you in if you're late.
- Oh, my god.
I'm thinking eggs.
Do you wantflorentine or benedict? Wait.
I was drinking soda, Georgie.
Yeah, until you switched to patron Look, don't worry.
I called Lily and covered your ass.
So you're welcome.
No, you--you knew I had S.
A.
T this morning.
Which is why I brought you here Instead of letting you go home with one of your many suitors.
You know the guy with the ironic mustache? You two took over the deejay booth.
- Wait, a mustache? what are you talking about? I guess you haven't changed as much as you thought.
Chuck? Chuck, hey.
I'm in trouble.
Look, I think I can still make it, But please go to hunter, Try to keep the doors open until I get there.
Hey! Last night was strange, but very fun.
Likewe said goodbye five hours ago? I'm taking you somewhere.
I'm going somewhere--to work.
- Get someone to cover for you.
- I can't just jump in the car with you - Because you decide to show up.
- Well, I'm not asking you to.
This is a onetime offer, and there's a clock ticking.
But Fine.
I am intrigued.
You wish your brother good luck today? Yeah.
May I be excused? No, you may not.
And we are not gonna walk around this house all day And not talk to each other.
Fine.
You want me to speak?I'll speak.
You've completely and entirely prejudged the upper east side.
Maybe you shouldn't speak.
dad, I learned my lesson on my birthday.
Asher's not like those girls.
He's different.
I mean, he's nice and polite and he likes animals.
Please let me go today? So you didn't cancel? I thought you'd change your mind.
I haven't.
Nate, I don't know about this.
I can't.
I didn't even study.
Yeah, and you still made great scores On your practice tests.
That was for fun.
Listen, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
I don't think your parents are gonna be mad at you For choosing your own path Unless they're related to my parents.
Okay.
Right now I'm going inside, And I'm not looking back, or I might change my mind.
Do really well.
What? Rough night? Yeah,and not in a good way.
Todd doesn't wanna get back together.
no? But he said We stayed up all night having the same conversation About why we broke up over and over again.
Unbelievable.
I can't believe it.
crazy.
I got no sleep,spent the whole night crying.
Okay.
Well, good luck.
Do you really think this is gonna work? Yes, but I also believe in insurance.
From her calculator.
You never did tell us how you got todd to play along.
Isabel, what are you doing later tonight? Uh, not todd.
okay, well, I guess I'm gonna have to come up with something else.
Dan where's Serena? Uh, I don't know,but I bet Chuck does.
Ugh.
well, I'll try to save a seat for her.
yeah, I'll--I'll keep calling.
Hey, Serena, it's me--a-a very worried me Concerned about a very missing you.
Hi.
I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen.
How'd you do? Uh, not my finest hour.
I finished, but I kinda had a lot on my mind.
I'll keep calling.
Yeah.
I think I know where to find her.
Hey, S.
it's B.
Now I'm really worried.
I'm gonna go home and change, And then Call me.
bye.
Hey.
Hey.
What's going on? Um nothing.
I'm fine.
No, you're not, and you need to stop saying that.
Hey.
Come here.
Where were you? She was with me.
What he means is, we were both at home.
Um, my stomach started acting up again.
oh, okay.
A food poisoning relapse? Look, if--if--if you didn't study enough And you're freaked out,I can--I told you.
I was sick.
You paid someone else to take the s.
a.
t.
for you, And that's the best you can do? What are you talking about? I'm talking about the 5-foot-nothing redhead Claiming to be Serena Van Der Woodsen.
I'm--I'm pretty sure that wasn't you.
Chuck, what did you do? I told you to keep the doors open.
When I got there,they were closed.
yeah, they don'tkeep the doors open.
I was thinking on my feet,just trying to help.
I'm not mad.
okay, I'm just worried.
I've been so worried about you.
Please, help me understand what's going on here.
Can we talk tomorrow? I'll call you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Chuck, you went too far.
And so did you, sis.
Look, I feel foolish for admitting it, But obviously,I've come late to this party.
English, please.
What's Georgina got on you?Chuck Dan I understand, but what's so bad you can't even tell me? Oh, hi, sweetie.
Let me just, uh,call some room service-- I don't want you to ever contact me again.
Just because of a few nights of harmless fun? It wasn't fun waking up and not knowing where I was, It wasn't fun missing the s.
a.
t.
s, And it definitely wasn't fun lying to dan.
And this is all my fault because It's my fault, Because I make huge mistakeswhen I'm with you.
So you want to distance yourself from your "mistakes" By staying away from me? You were there, too, Serena.
It was just as much you,if not more--this is not about last year.
It's about last night.
Like you were just some innocent bystander Who walked in on--I'm not talking about it,Georgina! okay? And neither are you.
If I go down, You go down with me.
In the meantime, Stay out of my life.
I don't need anybody in my lifewho doesn't want to be there.
Then we're agreed.
You must be the unity boy.
Uh, hopefully, there's not another one on his way.
Name's asher,and I do go to unity.
Hi.
Asher? What are you doing here? I was just gonna ask the same thing.
Uh, since you couldn't come to the hot dogs, I'm bringing them to you.
Sorry to s-surprise you, sir.
That's so sweet,especially since My unreasonable father has grounded me for life.
I'm standing right here.
I wish more of my friends' parents Cared enough to ground them when they messed up.
Looks like our queen wannabe found her perfect king.
Well, since you're here With a year's supply of hot dogs, Maybe you'd like to come in.
We hear he's a unity man.
Guess big brother's been teaching little sis How to snag the ones with a trust fund.
Hi.
Oh! Hey, buddy, there you go.
Aw! Georgie, hey! Bad boy.
Sorry he disturbed you.
Uh, it's fine.
I love dogs.
Really? Do you have any? No.
uh, we used to have a cat, But, you knowsister allergies.
Now the cat--iggy--lives in florida with my grandma.
I he doesn't write.
He never calls.
I'm sorry to hear that.
It's just a cat.
Um.
I'm sarah, by the way.
I'm dan.
nice to meet you, Sarah.
I got three cases of champagne for Serena Van Der Woodsen.
For me? Who's it from? Porn and handcuffs? This is low,Chuck,even for you.
What's this? Chuck said it came for you this morning.
Whoa.
Is that coke? How do you like a brother who uses you as a drug mule? - I can't believe you think Chuck is doing these things.
- What's he done now? I'll tell you what he's done.
If we're gonna exist under the same roof, - I am laying down some house rules.
- No need,princess.
Bart already kicked me out.
- I'm moving back to my suite.
-I love you,Nate Archibald.
Always have,always will.
I want nothing else to do with you,Blair.
It's over.
Jenny,if you walk away from me now,I will ruin you.
- How are you gonna do that? - My mother's Valentino was stolen.
- Oh,my god.
That's my mother's dress.
- Do you think that you can just send me off to school With a plaid skirt and a metrocard, - And everything will be okay? - I'm really sorry, Chuck.
I know it wasn't you who sent me that stuff.
And who am I? That's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.
o.
x.
o.
,gossip girl.
Captioned by closed captioning services,inc.
There are three things we do alone-- We are born,we die, And if we're a high school junior headed for college, We take the S.
A.
T.
And while the test is said to measure our best traits, Preparing for it Inevitably brings out the worst humility becomes self-doubt Guess we're all in trouble,huh? Striving becomes obsession.
"It's Tuesday on the other side of town" Some are driven to self-medication "Most would just give up for dead" So I said,"Alfie,don't get so upset" We all get scared of sticking out our necks It's expected While others cling to the security Of being part of a group.
Ooh,Ah Ba,Ba,Ba Ba,Ba,Sha-Doo,Be-Doo Ba,Ba,Ba And anyone who's used to bending the rules Will find themselves breaking them.
Ba,ba,ba,ba,ba,sha-doo Come on,come on it's time to lose control Come on,come on turn off your radio Come on,come on you're gonna feel all right Come on,come on let's do the panic tonight Uhh! Ugh! Dad,don't ever do that again.
Just doing what I was told.
time's up.
I was instructed that whenever time was up, I should share that information.
Yes,but the manner in which you went about itit was like - You were deliberately trying to humiliate me.
- How about? Uh half.
I finished exactly half in the allowed time.
- Well,you're a smart kid.
- I'm a choker.
I choke.
Mm,just in your head.
T-ball.
First grade.
Remember this? Bases loaded, and I stuck out.
You were 6.
The ball was on a tee,not moving.
You'll come through.
You're basing that on what,exactly? Blind faith? - Bye.
-Wait.
- Dad,I'm gonna be late.
- I'm coming with you.
- What? You're walking me to school? - Ineed the exercise.
I made one mistake.
It doesn't mean I need - A human ankle monitor.
- You used to beg me to walk you to school.
- You'd cry if I didn't walk you to class.
- That wasn't me.
that was Dan.
It's true,but I was 6, And it an emotional time for me.
It was post-t-ball.
Jenny,what you did was wrong And really out of character.
Grounding you is not just about punishment.
- We need to spend some time together, reconnect.
- Yeah, I want that,too.
Just not in public and in front of my friends.
All right.
Tonight.
Dinner.
Okay.
And I have group rehearsal.
- I'm the alto.
- And I'm really proud, But we are connecting this evening over Lasagna.
Hey,Jen,you wanna wait up for a second? we could take the Well,A-All right,I'll see ya at school.
It's 90th percentile.
Which means Nelly Yuki probably got 2300.
And you don't even talk to her.
why do you care how she does? Nelly Yuki has her sights set on Yale,too.
What are the odds Of them accepting two girls from constance? And have you seen Nelly Yuki's extracurriculars? I need to kick her well-rounded ass.
And they say you've lost your edge.
Nelly Yuki must be destroyed.
- Why do you keep saying her name? - Because it's Nelly Yuki.
Ew,gross.
Incoming--chuck.
You ready? No,I gotta wait for Dan.
He's pretty stressed.
He doesn't do well with tests,so performance anxiety? Bye,Blair.
She really needs to tone down on the social niceties.
It's embarrassing.
Eventually,the two of you - Are gonna have to work out your issues.
- What issues? I'm issue-free.
And,uh,based on my exhaustive research, So are you.
Georgina? According to my very reliable sources, Georgina Sparks is nowhere near our fair isle.
She's in switzerland,dating the prince of Belfort.
There's a prince of Belfort? uh-huh.
And she's dating him? oh,thank God.
Now you can enjoy the gifts she mailed you With peace of mind and maybe Chuck in the room.
Oh,shoot.
Except we're siblings.
Georgie always brought out the devil in you.
Part of me is a little disappointed she's not here.
Mm,I wonder which part.
It's been a while since I saw the old Serena.
Well,thanks to her, The new one has to break 2000 on her S.
A.
T.
s.
So if you could just go smarm elsewhere The offer still stands.
I know a,uh,lovely little redhead That's just dying to be you for the day.
Oh,I'll leave the cheating to you,Chuck.
I plan on taking the S.
A.
T.
s myself.
You have no idea how lucky you are.
Seriously,Jenny.
I would do anything to be a freshman again.
Junior year sucks.
Nate doesn't call.
I'm not ready for the s.
a.
t.
s.
Maybe I should join Kati on the Kibbutz in Israel, - Quit now.
- You guys,it's just a test.
Look,cram session tonight.
My dad's making lasagna.
My brother's got tons of flash cards, And I'm totally available to help.
That won't be necessary,little J.
You girls are all taken care of, Courtesy of Blair Waldorf S.
A.
T.
prep and spa.
Are you serious? If you're gonna sweat the test,it better not clog your pores.
This evening at my penthouse,you'll find personal tutors, Hot stone massages,mani-pedis and an amazing acupuncturist Who specializes in mental acuity.
Guess that beats my dad's lasagna.
I'll flickr over some photos for you.
Oh,it's upperclassmen only.
I'm sure you understand.
Totally.
Wait up,B.
I'm so glad I didn't book that flight to tel Aviv.
Spotted in the halls of constance--little j.
realizing That age really does come before beauty.
S.
a.
t.
s? Yeah.
yeah,and,uh,soccer? Why not give the old ball a kick? Season's just around the corner in October.
No,no,you know what? I have to stop doing that.
I'll just focus on myself and my--my test and my prep.
What other people do or don't do is about them,absolutely.
Not a good tester,huh? Oh,Chuck,I had no idea you felt that way about me.
Good to know you're at least still kind of funny.
Hey,I'm so sorry.
I've been completely off the radar the past few days.
New home,new family.
It's okay.
Yeah,it's,um,pretty overwhelming.
Yeah,II've been a little overwhelmed myself lately.
Well,you wanna hang out Study? Mmm.
ooh.
I wanna take whatever s.
a.
t.
prep course You're signed up for.
Well,it's not too late.
Okay.
I'm in,then.
I'll see you.
You always did know how to leave them wanting more.
Oh,my god,Georgina.
- What are you doing here? - Well,I told you I was coming.
Didn't you get my gifts? - Uh,you're supposed to be in switzerland dating a prince.
Luckily daddy didn't need the g5.
Haven't you missed me? How could I not? Okay.
You don't want to throw me a homecoming party.
I get it,but let's have a cocktail, Catch up.
S.
,you're really gonna hurt my feelings, And you know how I get when my feelings are hurt.
Great.
I'll see you tonight.
It's so weird seeing you.
It's almost like i never left.
Spotted in the courtyard-- Serena looking like she's seen a ghost-- The ghost of parties past.
- Jenny,why did you want to meet here? - Well,I've been thinking-- What's the one thing that no one in our group has, I mean,not even Blair? - Compassion? No,a boyfriend.
you know,if I'm gonna make it to queen, I need a king.
Queen Elizabeth never had a boyfriend.
But she only had the spanish to conquer, And I have Blair Waldorf.
Let's talk qualifications.
He has to be cute,but not fool of himself.
He has to be from the right kind of family Ugh,but not disgusting.
Come on.
Whoa! Oh,oh,aw I'm so sorry.
are you okay? Yeah,uh,my lunch isn't,though.
Oh,Linus.
Let me give you my last dollar.
Oh,I couldn't.
You shouldn't be walking the streets with no money.
Let's just settle for an i.
o.
u.
then.
It's just a hot dog.
That was just my excuse to give this to you.
Here's my number.
Thank you.
I mean,it's fine.
I mean,I'm really not even that hungry.
Well,if you change your mind What are you doing? He's gorgeous.
He's a dog walker.
I need a king,not a jester.
Come on.
Let's go lurk outside dalton.
- Hey.
- Vanessa.
You're nate,right? You play a very small but crucial role In my video project.
- Oh,that's right.
I remember you following Dan around with your video camera.
- Hey,Nate.
What are you doing here? I mean,I know the coffee's good Since I've taken every s.
a.
t.
prep and review class In the five boroughs,I figured why not pay it forward? So--so you don't need these? You know,I've actually already taken it.
My parents don't want me going to u.
s.
c.
, So I had to make sure my scores were good enough To get in without their help,which,thanks to these books, They were,so i'm done.
- While we all love hearing about the struggles of the idle rich, Dan's got a fine tutor right here.
I ace every practice test i take, - So we don't need your hand-me-downs.
- Um,you know what? th-this is actually pretty good.
- This looks good.
thank you.
- Is there a reason you insist On looking so desperate and needy? - She's been like that since we were kids-- Venomous without provocation.
It's better than being a charity case.
She's rude,too.
I see that.
Yeah.
Well,i gotta get going, But i hope these are useful.
Oh,yeah,yeah,very.
Thank you.
What? They're--hey,every little bit helps.
Is this really the best place for us to talk? You of all people know Nothing gets me talking like a cosmo.
A lot has changed since we used to hang out,Georgie.
- I know.
I get it.
- No,you don't get it,or you wouldn't have sent me All those so-called gifts in the first place.
Oh,come on,sweetie.
Those were funny.
Get over yourself.
I was just trying to make you laugh.
How about this-- How about for one night, We hang out like old times,but unlike old times, I won't get out of control,unless you want me to.
I mean,i can totally get out-- No,okay.
I-i won't get out of control, And i totally respect that.
Please stop me any time you feel like answering.
Any time.
come on.
One drink,but only one.
Cheers.
Where are all the tutors? - And the masseuses? - And the smoothies? All that i have promised you is waiting.
And while it gives me great pleasure To think of us crossing that s.
a.
t.
finish line together, Before the race can begin, You need to be made aware of one little thing.
Nelly Yuki,top in our class, Summer schooled at the Sorbonne.
Lots of people do summer at Sorbonne,including me.
True.
Penelope,you may be a national merit scholar, But Nelly Yuki is a merit scholar A Peabody scholar And an intel science talent search finalist.
Isabel,you're a concert pianist, But Itzhak Perlman himself gave Nelly her very first violin.
Hazel You're just along for the ride,'kay? But if any of us wants to live out our college dreams, We have to find Nelly Yuki's weakness And exploit it.
So what's it gonna be-- aromatherapy or annihilation? What's the plan? It was,like,the worst thing ever, And then--and then,do you remember? Do you remember when we ran out of money? And then i had to flash the bartender 'Cause we ran out of money.
Wait,wait.
Oh,my god.
Remember when we were Savannah and Svetlana? - Oh,Savannah.
Savannah! I totally forgot about Savannah and Svetlana.
Svetlana.
Wait,no,I think we were Tiffany and Angel that night.
Oh,you could talk me into anything.
Hey,ladies,can i,uh,get you guys another round? - Ooh.
- No,thank you.
Hmm.
Oh.
My american girlfriend, So uptight.
They think the drink lead to the sex.
No,no,no,I wasn't being rude.
I just didn't want to take anything If I couldn't offer anything in return.
We'd be happy with just one dance.
Aw.
Aw.
I'm afraid i have two left feet.
Aw,this is what is the practice for.
Come on,lady.
Opa! Who is that? Um,no one.
uh,thank you for calling back.
Ahh! Nadine the beauty queen.
How can i help you? I don't have time for this.
Do you want 1 or 2 g's? Can you just give it-- some dealer you know? I didn't realize i brought my grandmother.
I have to go.
Hey,come here.
Whoo! I'm so stupid,so,so,so,so stupid.
You don't sound stupid.
You sound drunk.
What have you been into? Georgina.
Good news is,she doesn't want anything except to party.
Bad news is,I partied.
Care to paint a picture? Does this party require clothes? I'm supposed to be at Dan's studying.
I called to tell him I'd be late, But not this late.
II just have to call him and say That instead of studying with him, You're out with your old pal Georgina.
No.
I don't want him to know she exists.
My mom,Blair,even you can't stand her.
Dan of all people cannot know Georgie.
Can you help me? Say you need me.
Chuck! Hearing you scream my name is more than enough.
I'll take care of it and pick you up in ten.
Hey,I've been wondering where you were.
You mean all of your life? Uh,don't take this the wrong way,Serena, But you sound just like this jackass we know.
Serena has food poisoning.
She's too sick to come to your playdate.
Put her on the phone.
The bathroom doesn't get reception.
Somehow I don't believe you.
And I'd like to say I'm a little glad about that, But my poor,sick sister has asked for my assistance In the matter,so I'll leave it at this She's not coming.
Don't try calling.
Humphrey,always a pleasure.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
Hey.
Beautiful day you're ruining,isn't it? Do me a favor,please,and leave Serena alone.
It was Serena I was doing a favor All i know is before spring break, Everything was great.
It was good.
Now break's over,she's not quite herself, And I'mI'm trying to think,what has changed in her life? Oh,the Bass family moved into it.
Dan,hi.
Hey.
hey,how you feeling? Good.
my Migraine's gone.
Migraine? I thought you had food poisoning.
Yeah,that came after.
What exactly happened last night? I already told him.
I'm asking Well,I got food poisoning,and then Chuck helped me out.
Okay,where exactly did you eat That you got this killer food poisoning Migraine? Can we drop the interrogation? As soon as you tell me where my girlfriend is.
I'm right here with you.
Look,II gotta go to class.
I can't I can't do this.
This is exactly why I didn't want her to come back.
She's been back a day already and look what's happening.
If it's really that bad, Why don't you just tell him about her? I can't.
I'll see you later.
Look,I'm not stupid.
I know you're not really interested In how my family owns half of tribeca.
of course we're interested.
You're the newest member of our little club.
Which is only for the smartest girls of the junior class.
Our junior class only has 30 girls.
We're already an elite club.
Can I go now? You what would be hot? you,us at G Spa.
I don't drink.
Saks fifth? hate shopping.
Yogurt on the steps? lactose-intolerant.
Look,I really don't want any friends.
All I want is to be alone And to listen to Florida ever again.
What happened? A little backstage hit it and quit it? What? No,my boyfriend broke up with me at a Florida Concert.
One minute we were waving our hands in the air Like we just didn't care,and the next Since the dalton guys were a bust, How about collegiate? The boys' lacrosse team is working out just around Jenny,look.
What did I tell you about that dog walker? There are no kings on Craigslist.
But I don't think he's the walker.
I think he's the owner.
I spy my king.
Hi.
How have you been? Oh,god.
Not that song.
Nelly Yuki,what's wrong? It's like it's happening all over again.
That song just reminds me of my boyfriend My ex-boyfriend,I should say.
Oh,no.
Did he dump you? That's horrible.
Wwwhat was his name? Brad? Bill? Todd Jansen.
There's nothing like the fresh,sharp pain of a breakup.
Believe me,I've had my fair share of heartache, But this is about you.
Tonight you're gonna come over to my house, And just cry till you get it all out of your system.
I can't.
I have to be focused tomorrow.
You can't focus when something's on your mind, Now can you? come,come,come.
Tell me all about it.
I guess I'll just take the check,please.
Okay.
Hey, hold that, will ya? Daylight Savings moved to March.
Maybe no one told you.
I know I'm late.
Coffee, Nate? Yeah,thanks,Cora.
You two know each other? I've been here before.
Are you telling me you come all the way to Brookn For greek food? Well,when I'm Brooklyn,I like to come here,yes.
'Cause you're in Brooklyn all the time.
Well,mymy father's in rehab a couple blocks away, And,uh,which,by the way, is why I'm late.
I was Visiting hours I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to No.
I mean, it's not like it's some big secret.
It was on the front page of every newspaper in the city.
I guess it was, yeah.
Sometimes after I'm done seeing him, I'm not ready to go back and see my mom just yet, So I come here and I sit and just, uh Think about how hard it is To know whose side you're supposed to be on, Mom versus dad, kid in the middle? Confession I read one of your practice essays.
You left it in a book that you gave dan, And that's why I called you to apologize.
Why? Because I judged the cover, But now that I've read the book, I figured you were owed some apologetic souvlaki, At the very least.
Hey, Georgie.
It was good to see you last night.
When did you say you were going back to Belgium? Uh, Switzerland, actually, And I'm supposed to leave tomorrow, But I'm not going until I get a chance To make it up to you first.
Oh, nothing to make up.
I had fun.
No, you didn't.
I mean, until after you left, I don't think I really heard what you were saying.
I-I didn't get it.
You've really changed.
Yeah, I have.
I don't mean to sound corny, But it's a real inspiration to me.
Really? I mean, look, I've always thought That i am who I'm going to be for the rest of my life, And even those times when I maybe don't like myself, Well you can't decide to be somebody else.
No, you can.
yeah, listen, let's have dinner.
I-I mean, I want to hear about your life, And if you can change, maybe there's hope for me, too.
No, i-i have to study.
I have S.
A.
Ts in the morning.
It'll just be an hour.
We can time it.
I promise.
The hardest drug on the table will be Perrier.
SpottedSerena Van Der Woodsen Being given a real life multiple choice question "A"--go home and study, "B"--get a good night's sleep, "C"--call your boyfriend Or "D" An hour.
None of the above Good.
Hope that wasn't the wrong answer, S.
This test doesn't grade on a curve.
All right, "capacious"-- Looks like "spacious.
What does it mean? Roomy.
Oh, yeah.
"Captious.
" Looks like That looks like"capacious.
" Oh.
I can't concentrate.
Sound of your own voice distracting you? No.
it's, uh, Serena, actually.
We had an argument.
I'm home! Oh! Look it.
Trig identities are memorized, My latin is resurrected, and my lit paper's finished.
Impressive.
Seeing as you've returned the valentino, And you've logged ten hours of volunteer work With Betty at the shop - I'm not grounded anymore? I have something for you.
No way! - Oh! - It's not exactly the same as the one you pawned, But Thank you, dad! You know, Jen, no one's happier than me to see this.
Do you know how much it costs to get a zipper repaired? - Yeah, I figured since you'd be spending so much time at home - Wait.
What? - So I guess you're still grounded.
- Dan.
- Dad, wait.
- I met this really nice guy, And I'm supposed to meet him in the park for lunch tomorrow.
- Well, grounded or not grounded, - You're not old enough to date.
- It's not a date.
He's just a friend.
- Who is this guy? - You don't know him.
He goes to unity.
- Wait, upper east side unity? - Technically, that's upper west side, dad.
- How are you helping? - I thought you wanted to take a break from that whole crowd.
- What "whole crowd"? - The one that made you feel like compromising your character Was a prerequisite to hanging out with them.
- So it's okay for dan to date someone rich, though? Well, it's not without its complications.
Believe me.
I thought you said it wasn't a date.
It was nice there for a minute.
- It was.
Hey, S.
I'm just sipping a gingko biloba blended And wondering how your stomach migraine is.
Call me so i don't worry.
How you doing, Nelly Yuki? My upper trapezius seems to hold a lot of sadness.
Something tells me you'll be feeling better very soon Any minute.
No.
I think I should just go home and study.
Uh, Mr.
Jansen is here to see Miss Yuki.
Todd's here? Do I have cushion face? A little.
Hello, Todd.
Hi, Nelly.
Blair said it was all right if I came.
For a siberian ginseng pedi? No.
I really feel bad about how things ended, Nell.
So do I.
- Can we talk about it? In private? - Okay.
Thank you, B.
Lucky for us, Mental acuity and common sense rarely come in the same package.
Oxygen facials, anyone? Next time your sister's band is in town, I want front row seats.
You don't strike me as a lesbian punk fan.
You know, I am almost offended by how much You underestimate me, Ms.
Abrams.
- You like punk? - Oh, I didn't hear you s--you said "punk"? Cause you had me at "lesbian.
" Oh, right.
Didn't see that one coming.
- Hey, tell me something.
- Yes? Why do you do S.
A.
T.
practice tests If you're not planning on taking the exam? To help dan study.
I'm a filmmaker.
Best education for me is making films.
I can't never met anyone Who thought college was optional.
My parents are artists.
My sister's a musician.
Just like going to an ivy is your family's way, Not going to college is mine.
Think your parents want to adopt a 17 year old? Maybe? So So I guess this is good night, then? I don't live here, you know.
No, I know.
I'm just grabbing my laptop.
Do you want to come inside? God.
It does feel like that doorstep moment.
And what moment would that be? Yeah.
that's the moment.
Can I get you two a cocktail? Oh.
I'm fine with my diet coke.
Thank you.
Um, yeah, me, too.
Thanks.
So tell me about dan.
I did.
Oh, come on.
His last name and his zip code? Scintillating details.
Come on.
He's part of Serena second edition.
Well I-I like the way I feel when he looks at me.
How? Like like I wanna believe in myself.
I-I know.
You think it's a clich? Uh, no.
no, sweetie.
I-I-I think it's It's incredible.
Yeah.
LookI know I may not be Your most trusted friend right now, But I think I know the old you pretty well.
Yeah, better than, um, anyone, actually.
Well, from where I sit, it would take A lot to bring that person back.
Um I'm gonna call him, actually.
He's pretty nervous about tomorrow, So I wanna wish him luck.
So I'll be back.
- That was quick.
- Yeah, he didn't pick up.
- Oh, you can try him again later.
- Yeah.
- Okay, I'd like to propose a toast.
- Okay.
To the new you.
To the new me.
Cheers.
Ooh.
You don't look so good.
You okay, S? No, I'm not okay.
Wait, how did we get here? What are we doing here? Oh, my god.
I'm supposed to be at Hunter college.
If memory serves, and it usually does, - They don't let you in if you're late.
- Oh, my god.
I'm thinking eggs.
Do you wantflorentine or benedict? Wait.
I was drinking soda, Georgie.
Yeah, until you switched to patron Look, don't worry.
I called Lily and covered your ass.
So you're welcome.
No, you--you knew I had S.
A.
T this morning.
Which is why I brought you here Instead of letting you go home with one of your many suitors.
You know the guy with the ironic mustache? You two took over the deejay booth.
- Wait, a mustache? what are you talking about? I guess you haven't changed as much as you thought.
Chuck? Chuck, hey.
I'm in trouble.
Look, I think I can still make it, But please go to hunter, Try to keep the doors open until I get there.
Hey! Last night was strange, but very fun.
Likewe said goodbye five hours ago? I'm taking you somewhere.
I'm going somewhere--to work.
- Get someone to cover for you.
- I can't just jump in the car with you - Because you decide to show up.
- Well, I'm not asking you to.
This is a onetime offer, and there's a clock ticking.
But Fine.
I am intrigued.
You wish your brother good luck today? Yeah.
May I be excused? No, you may not.
And we are not gonna walk around this house all day And not talk to each other.
Fine.
You want me to speak?I'll speak.
You've completely and entirely prejudged the upper east side.
Maybe you shouldn't speak.
dad, I learned my lesson on my birthday.
Asher's not like those girls.
He's different.
I mean, he's nice and polite and he likes animals.
Please let me go today? So you didn't cancel? I thought you'd change your mind.
I haven't.
Nate, I don't know about this.
I can't.
I didn't even study.
Yeah, and you still made great scores On your practice tests.
That was for fun.
Listen, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open.
I don't think your parents are gonna be mad at you For choosing your own path Unless they're related to my parents.
Okay.
Right now I'm going inside, And I'm not looking back, or I might change my mind.
Do really well.
What? Rough night? Yeah,and not in a good way.
Todd doesn't wanna get back together.
no? But he said We stayed up all night having the same conversation About why we broke up over and over again.
Unbelievable.
I can't believe it.
crazy.
I got no sleep,spent the whole night crying.
Okay.
Well, good luck.
Do you really think this is gonna work? Yes, but I also believe in insurance.
From her calculator.
You never did tell us how you got todd to play along.
Isabel, what are you doing later tonight? Uh, not todd.
okay, well, I guess I'm gonna have to come up with something else.
Dan where's Serena? Uh, I don't know,but I bet Chuck does.
Ugh.
well, I'll try to save a seat for her.
yeah, I'll--I'll keep calling.
Hey, Serena, it's me--a-a very worried me Concerned about a very missing you.
Hi.
I'm Serena Van Der Woodsen.
How'd you do? Uh, not my finest hour.
I finished, but I kinda had a lot on my mind.
I'll keep calling.
Yeah.
I think I know where to find her.
Hey, S.
it's B.
Now I'm really worried.
I'm gonna go home and change, And then Call me.
bye.
Hey.
Hey.
What's going on? Um nothing.
I'm fine.
No, you're not, and you need to stop saying that.
Hey.
Come here.
Where were you? She was with me.
What he means is, we were both at home.
Um, my stomach started acting up again.
oh, okay.
A food poisoning relapse? Look, if--if--if you didn't study enough And you're freaked out,I can--I told you.
I was sick.
You paid someone else to take the s.
a.
t.
for you, And that's the best you can do? What are you talking about? I'm talking about the 5-foot-nothing redhead Claiming to be Serena Van Der Woodsen.
I'm--I'm pretty sure that wasn't you.
Chuck, what did you do? I told you to keep the doors open.
When I got there,they were closed.
yeah, they don'tkeep the doors open.
I was thinking on my feet,just trying to help.
I'm not mad.
okay, I'm just worried.
I've been so worried about you.
Please, help me understand what's going on here.
Can we talk tomorrow? I'll call you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Chuck, you went too far.
And so did you, sis.
Look, I feel foolish for admitting it, But obviously,I've come late to this party.
English, please.
What's Georgina got on you?Chuck Dan I understand, but what's so bad you can't even tell me? Oh, hi, sweetie.
Let me just, uh,call some room service-- I don't want you to ever contact me again.
Just because of a few nights of harmless fun? It wasn't fun waking up and not knowing where I was, It wasn't fun missing the s.
a.
t.
s, And it definitely wasn't fun lying to dan.
And this is all my fault because It's my fault, Because I make huge mistakeswhen I'm with you.
So you want to distance yourself from your "mistakes" By staying away from me? You were there, too, Serena.
It was just as much you,if not more--this is not about last year.
It's about last night.
Like you were just some innocent bystander Who walked in on--I'm not talking about it,Georgina! okay? And neither are you.
If I go down, You go down with me.
In the meantime, Stay out of my life.
I don't need anybody in my lifewho doesn't want to be there.
Then we're agreed.
You must be the unity boy.
Uh, hopefully, there's not another one on his way.
Name's asher,and I do go to unity.
Hi.
Asher? What are you doing here? I was just gonna ask the same thing.
Uh, since you couldn't come to the hot dogs, I'm bringing them to you.
Sorry to s-surprise you, sir.
That's so sweet,especially since My unreasonable father has grounded me for life.
I'm standing right here.
I wish more of my friends' parents Cared enough to ground them when they messed up.
Looks like our queen wannabe found her perfect king.
Well, since you're here With a year's supply of hot dogs, Maybe you'd like to come in.
We hear he's a unity man.
Guess big brother's been teaching little sis How to snag the ones with a trust fund.
Hi.
Oh! Hey, buddy, there you go.
Aw! Georgie, hey! Bad boy.
Sorry he disturbed you.
Uh, it's fine.
I love dogs.
Really? Do you have any? No.
uh, we used to have a cat, But, you knowsister allergies.
Now the cat--iggy--lives in florida with my grandma.
I he doesn't write.
He never calls.
I'm sorry to hear that.
It's just a cat.
Um.
I'm sarah, by the way.
I'm dan.
nice to meet you, Sarah.