Greek s01e15 Episode Script

Previously Are we just barnyard animals blindly following our leader into - a battle we don't even understand? - You said we weren't gonna let our houses get in the way of us being friends.
- You did nothing to stop it.
- It was a prank! Weren't you friends with Evan? Evan Longoria and I roomed together freshman year, there were numerous factors that led to our break up.
You take us down, and you will go with us Bing.
I need Frannie to make things right.
I've done my best to take responsibility for my mistakes.
ZBZ rules prevent you from moving in today.
You can't keep me on probation for more than three months.
Tell the truth.
We kissed, but it didn't go any further.
I'm wearing your letters, I'm planning forever with you.
I love you.
No, you love you! You love what I can do for you! The Omega Chis are officially stripping you of the title of Sweetheart.
The brotherhood is not comfortable maintaining such a close relationship between us and Zeta Beta Zeta.
Fellow sisters, welcome to the first meeting of the post-Lizzie era.
Congratulations, we're on our own now.
And you're probably wondering what that means for you and the house.
That we can finally wear skirts without Lizzie reminding us how hard women fought for suffrage? Yes.
But some of the changes Lizzie made were actually improvements.
For example, mandatory pledge study hours.
But we're not actually going to do the 50 extra philanthropy hours, are we? And pre-meeting roll call and a little more attention to ritual, - and - And are you ever gonna stop "and-ing"? And there's one more change Right, we're finally gonna have some real Zeta Beta fun.
Girls, girls, I'm very disappointed.
We don't snap here.
We clap.
Isn't Casey doing a great job? Beats our last President.
So tomorrow night is the all-Greek ball.
The premier Greek event.
And, as you know, this is the first one in two years.
I hope you've been skipping desserts where you need to.
This is the place to show off.
Frannie, do you have a question? What? - No.
I don't have anything to say.
- I think Tania just cleared her throat.
Great.
So why didn't we have one last year? Well There was like this SNAFU thing at the ball two years ago.
Anyway Moving forward.
This is a big deal, since every house, Even alumni lobbied dean Bowman hard for a second chance.
I expect nothing less than our best behavior.
This could be another step toward getting the dean's restrictions lifted.
Go, Casey! Okay So there is this all-Greek ball this weekend.
And we're not going.
No! Why aren't we going? Listen to the name, spitter.
It's a ball.
Like a testicle.
I don't want to go to a testicle.
Sounded kind of fun before that.
All the Greeks partying in one place.
Yeah, sure.
If you're looking for a prom part II.
Well, I didn't have prom part I.
Why doesn't anyone want to go? It's a long, boring story, Spitter.
But And meeting adjourned.
Adieu! What, no one's gonna tell me what happened? No, no one is.
And if you keep asking you know what I'm gonna do? Yeah, you guessed it.
I'm gonna reinstate the pledge diet plan.
You remember bacon grease and butter burritos, right? Never mind.
First day of college.
- Hey.
- Hey, nice puberty patch.
Hey, the ladies don't complain about it too much.
Man, ladies? When did you get a sense of humor, master Chambers? Shut up you.
- It's good to see you man.
- You look good.
- Look at this room.
- I know.
- How glorious is this room? - It's not bad.
Man.
- Wait a minute.
What are? - Our R.
A.
He is 21 years old, and he is absolutely desperate for cash.
This is great.
- I just got this down the street.
- It's not bad.
This is gonna blow.
- To freshman year.
- To freshman year, my friend.
- You'll never learn.
- Son of a.
Why would you do that to me? Over here we have our flat screen television set.
Flat screen? Why couldn't we have a flat screen at camp Kitchi Wa-Wa? - Probably cause it was camp.
- Perhaps, yeah.
- The good old days.
- These are gonna be the good new days.
Clearly, vintage T-shirts, goatee.
This isn't exactly your style, from what I recall.
I'm trying something new.
I wanna be a little more Evan a little less Chambers.
Sounds like a rich kid thing to me.
That's just what I don't want it to sound like.
Starting tonight, I'm gonna be my own man.
I'm gonna go rush some fraternities, and you are gonna come with me.
- Fraternities? - Yeah.
Aren't those a little elitist and obnoxious? They weren't in old school.
Playing theold schoolcard.
You know me very well.
Trust me, spending the next four years, going to apartment parties is gonna be so much better in a frat.
There's no girls at those parties, it's a total sausage fest.
That is the single most motivating thing you could have possibly said to me.
You'll be fine.
Listen, rush starts at six.
I'll meet you right here.
All right.
- Fine.
I bet I'm gonna hate it.
- You will not hate it.
Season 1 - Episode 15 " Freshman Daze " ¤AkaZab¤ & Kasius Is it true our Madam President doesn't have a date for the ball? Yeah.
Well, have you talked to Cappie yet? Because he likes school dances about as much as L.
C.
likes Spencer.
It's not a problem.
We made alternate plans.
So I was right.
Any luck with finding a date for tonight? Who says I need luck? Of course.
So who is he? Well He is a "she," and she's really hot and her name is Casey Cartwright.
What happened to Hotmanistan? He was stealing from his sponsor family.
They found money in his stupid Fanny pack-istan.
It's not like boys are banging down my door either.
But I bet a good number of them will be dateless at the dance.
We'll divide and conquer.
Or pull a Frannie and break up a couple.
Yeah, she's trying.
She seems friendlier.
Like the pit bulls you hear about on the news.
One minute they're licking your fingers, the next they're eating - your little maltipoo.
- I don't think this new Frannie bites.
She doesn't even bark.
That's what scares me.
She's so Walking through the door right now.
Hey, Frannie.
Hey, guys.
The machines are down at my apartment again.
All of them? What happened? Some rats gnawed through the hoses at the back of the machines.
That's gross.
I know, right? So I was wondering if I could do my laundry here.
Sure.
Of course it's okay.
Thanks, Casey.
I'm done with these two.
Thanks.
I'm sorry.
I think I've seen you somewhere before.
Are you on MySpace? It's like this new friendster.
I'm totally obsessed with it.
I live on your floor.
- I'm I'm Casey.
- I'm Ashleigh.
Nice to meet you.
Is this your Red sock? Looks more like a strawberry blond sock.
Not a sock! Not a sock! It's a clump of hair! Get it off me! Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold still, hold still.
Ok, Ok.
It's gone now.
It's gone now.
I am so sorry.
It's Ok.
Doing your own laundry sucks.
I know.
Yesterday I checked to see how much it'd cost to overnight my clothes back home and have my mom wash them for me.
And? It adds up.
My mom would probably just send them right back.
I have a big family: two sisters and a brother.
But they're awesome.
I miss them.
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Not really.
So are are you Are you rushing? No, I'm good on time.
I meant a sorority.
Yeah.
I was thinking about it.
Are you? You should.
And we should be rush buddies.
Ok.
Ladies They shut the water off at the Zeta Beta Zeta house today Mark Jacobs Nice.
Could I borrow some of your detergent? Yes.
Sure.
I mean Please.
Thanks.
I'm so ready to mix with the Omega Chis.
Rush needs to be over like now.
The rush makes us the best house in campus, Libbs.
Think about it.
We have the prettiest girls, the best grades, and the most awesome Social calendar on campus.
So how many girls we'll get tonight anyway? As many as we want.
But Not everyone is Zeta Beta material.
It's about quality, not quantity.
We can only take the best.
What's up, Calvin? Let's see.
Your suit, Mr.
Bond.
Thank you, pledge Owens.
So I see Tanner's warming up to you.
Yeah, yeah.
I.
Kind of liked it when he was all uncomfortable.
- He can talk.
- It's like I said, man.
You give the Omega Chis a chance to get to know the real you, you can be one of the most liked guys of this house.
You know, you're right.
I'm glad I'm here.
It's It's a much better frat than Kappa Tau.
Yeah, what the hell were you thinking? I don't know.
Do you use gel or a wax? Did we really almost have that conversation? And what was with that jock house? I know.
The What is it? The the Lambda Sigs.
Lambda Sigs, yeah.
They asked how fast I could run the forty.
- What? You serious? - They loved you.
I didn't even have to drop the "Chambers" bomb once, man.
Yeah, you didn't have to at Omega Chi either.
They were so busy sucking up to you, I got to steal this.
Ok, now we're breaking the law.
What are you doing? Come on, can we just go now, - please? - No, come on, Cap.
Listen to me.
I swear, you just haven't found your right fit yet.
I have found the right fit.
The dorm room.
Three squares a day, plus cable tv.
What more do you need? Cappie, trust me, all right? This is better.
Think of a fraternity as four more years of camp, all right? But this time, your cabin is equipped with girls and beer.
Ok, but the last two came equipped with'roid abusers, and men with frosted tips.
Come on, Evs.
You got three invitations already.
What are you holding out for? This one.
Ok? This is the house that I'm really interested in.
What do those letters mean again? - Kappa Tau Gamma.
- Kappa Tau Gamma.
- One more.
- Let's do it.
- God! What? What is it? A spider? - Scarier.
I'd recognize that chartreuse-colored puffy pen writing anywhere.
A thank-you note from Frannie for laundry privileges.
This seems harmless.
She's trying.
She's making amends.
The whole Step 12 thing.
And she used really nice stationary.
- Look at the watermark.
- It's not harmless, Ash.
And this has nothing to do with making amends.
First, she supports me at the meeting.
- Now this.
- It's harmless.
No, she's trying to make me doubt myself.
It's payback for keeping her on probation.
You don't know that.
Why are you defending her? It's not like she was making your life any easier.
Frannie seriously lost it last semester, no doubt.
But she wasn't always like that.
I was a ZBZ, you know? Seriously? So was I.
God.
I only date ZBZs.
Flat line.
Damn, we lost her.
Seriously, she wouldn't have died if she'd gone Zeta Beta.
Seriously.
What a shame.
You girls wanna go to Dobler's? My God.
That sounds like so much fun.
Right? - Yeah.
- Sure.
Choices That's what being in a sorority is all about.
Making those choices that can change your life Forever.
Frannie is so awesome.
She ends everything with "right?" It's so interesting, right? My God, I just did it.
You did.
Beware the donut test.
Donut test? My suite-mate told me one of the houses determines if you're right for them based on which you eat first, the donut or the ice cream.
This must be the place.
That's ridiculous.
- What are you supposed to eat first? - She said the ice cream, but she's kind of evil, so she might have been tricking me.
Casey, right? - Yes.
- This is for you.
No, thank you.
Excuse me? If this is the kind of sority that bases their bids on the way you eat a piece of deep-fried dough, then I really don't want to be here.
A girl who thinks for herself.
Threatening But properly trained, potentially a great asset to the house.
When I become president, I'm so dropping this stupid donut thing, anyway.
And I'm not gonna eat another one.
What are you looking for? The student newspaper from two years ago.
Do you know if they have an online archive? No, but easy there, Amadeus.
Next to the screen the keyboard The most fragile exposed part of a computer.
I know.
There's the Greek ball tonight.
You're gone? None of the KTs are.
Why? Is your U-Sag group going to protest it? I thought about getting some picketers, but then I decided to do something bigger.
I've decided to throw the first annual U-Sag ball.
It's gonna be CRU's counter-programming answer to your Greeks' all-night bacchanalia.
Our dance ends at eleven.
It's gonna be a sin-free evening, filled with non-alcoholic drinks, line-dancing and subtle proselytizing.
Could be the first of many U-Sag balls.
- Dale.
- Do you wanna go? I think there's a conflict of interests or something.
Do you think Calvin would wanna go? Calvin is happily back at Omega Chi, and Omega Chi and Kappa Tau aren't exactly on speaking terms.
So you stopped talking to a friend because he joined a different organization? Right, like you've never done anything like that.
Hey, you should swing by my youth boot camp this weekend for a little - pizza and soul winning.
- I can't.
My mom converts me to catholicism.
- I have to go to mess.
- Mess? You're dead to me.
Well, not without a very good reason.
Are you sure you don't wanna go to the dance? It'd be my first ball.
I thought you didn't wanna go.
I changed my mind.
It's a woman's prerogative.
And I respect your right to choose, and it's not that I don't wanna go with you.
I just.
I don't wanna go to the dance.
I'm not a very good dancer.
Ok.
Do you now see why I've been holding out for this house? - An ice luge! - A what? Sally forth! This ain't no joke I'm about to give you.
- Then give me hell.
- Where do you think I got this stuff? - All right, say when.
- Okay.
Cap! Are you all right, psycho? Are you okay? Step back, he's gonna boot! When.
The bottle's empty.
The bottle's empty! - Hey, priceless, kid.
- Dude.
I think I found my people.
Think you did, man.
Hey, man.
I'm Evan.
Chambers.
You're related to Tom Chambers of the Phoenix suns? Actually it's Jonathan Chambers.
Chambers International.
Yeah, I don't follow soccer, You know that guy? Cappie? Yeah, he's my roommate.
We're roomies.
Well, you guys should stick around, check it out.
Ok, yeah.
We will.
See you around, Todd.
- All right.
Evan.
- Whatever.
Sure.
So congratulations on taking home gold in the ice luge.
Yeah, I've been trying to hold on to my amateur status for quite a while, just to hopefully make it here one day and And now that I'm here it feels pretty good.
I'm real proud.
Good.
Would you excuse me please? Think I see my gold medal.
Cappie.
- That's your name? - Please, regale me with yours.
I I'm Casey Cartwright.
Sexy alliteration.
Casey Cartwright.
Simple, yet elegant.
Want to do a body shot? Someone's already getting me a drink.
Thanks.
In a cup? How boring.
Well, at least I get to keep my clothes on.
Rarely a virtue in my experience.
And just for the record, I was hoping you would do the shot off me.
I'll stick to the cute guy with the boring cup.
Well, that's what they said at Jonestown.
You really trust your drink with a complete stranger? Well, let's ask him.
- You know Cappie? - Evan's the guy? Then I stand corrected.
He's the safest guy I know.
- Thanks.
I think.
- You guys know each other? - Yeah, we're roommates, actually.
- Right.
Can you believe someone just left him on my doorstep? I opened the door, there he was.
Looking for somebody to take care of him.
I don't need anyone to take care of me.
- Well.
- My God.
I love this song.
Come on.
Ok.
What about your drink? Just put it down and come dance.
I love college! So I need a volunteer to be sober pledge tonight.
I got it.
I'm dateless.
Unless one of you guys wants to go with me.
- Excuse me, Joe? - I told you, it's yo, Joe! Like the cartoon, you know.
Snake eyes, cobra commander, the baroness.
The baroness.
Nice pull.
She was hot.
Yo, Joe! Got a test tomorrow.
Is it cool if I duck out early? No, Chambers.
Not until we finish the pledge nicknames.
Let's see.
No need to bother with Cappie.
I mean He's so Cappie.
And the beaver Was a no-brainer following last night's drunken exploits.
I could watch Beaver inhale wood all day.
Which brings me to Chambers Aka "Bing.
" I don't get it.
Is it like Chandler? No.
Then why Bing? Origin isn't important.
It's a handle.
And yours is Bing.
No.
No, you have to tell me.
Why am I Bing? What's Bing? Well, when the brothers were deciding who to honor with a bid, there was some discussion.
You fell somewhere between a bid and a ding.
- So I almost got dung out? - Bingo! No offense.
Hey, man.
Don't sweat it.
You're in.
Of course you're in, Bing.
I mean, you guys are like a package deal.
If he's in, you're in.
If you're in, he's in.
If he's not in, you're not in.
If you're not in, he's still in.
I'm heading downstairs for lunch.
Okay.
I'll meet you there in a sec.
Favorite bracelet.
Where are you? I've already been thinking about all the experiences we'll share together throughout college.
And I'll always be here to protect you From boys, who will always hurt you.
Proud to be your Zeta Beta Zeta big sis.
I love my ginormous lesbian big sis.
Casey Cartwright, turn around and meet your new big sis.
Casey From the moment I saw you, I knew you were the girl I wanted as my little sis.
I see you at my med school graduation, I see you at my wedding.
And I just know we'll still be talking when we're ninety.
I think ZBZ founding sister, Octavia Divoll Jones, said it best when she wrote, "sincere and unending friendship springs from sisterhood steadfast.
" I love that.
Because, when we're in need, we don't abandon each other, Casey.
We stick together.
For all time.
Damn proud to be your Zeta Beta Zeta big sis.
Hey I know you and Ashleigh are going to the ball.
Right.
And if you want a pre-party, it's two-for-one night at Dobler's.
Drinks on me.
Thanks.
But I don't think we can make it.
Ok.
You're leaving Kappa Tau to pledge Omega Chi? Yeah, I mean, it's done, Cap.
But it's Ok, man.
It's the right move for me.
But I only rushed because you did.
I know that, and look how well it's turned out for you, man.
You're a superstar.
Come on, I'm just - Bing? - Yeah, Bing.
What, you can't be a part of something, unless you're the superstar? Let's be honest.
It's not like you're not enjoying being the golden boy.
So you're in different houses now Big deal.
Nothing has to change.
I just wanna understand why Evan's decided to make a very, very, very poor decision here.
Omega Chi has a lot to offer me.
What, like starched collars and sailing lessons? And better athletics, and alumni job assistance, and an emphasis on academics.
Ok, who cares? Dude, we're in college.
Just enjoy the six or seven years, and don't worry about making contacts.
Yeah, but then what, man? Look, we're not gonna be in college forever.
So much for having fun, Mr.
Chambers? - All right, you know what? - I know, I know.
Why don't we get some hamburgers? Hamburgers, yum! Come on, guys.
Don't fight over something like this.
It's just the Greek system.
Don't let it ruin our friendship.
We're the three musketeers.
Hey it's okay.
It's totally fine.
I'm not.
I'm not even hungry.
I got to study All right.
Let's go.
Sorry.
Are you going to the dance tonight? Some of the other guys are, and I'm not.
Yeah, me too.
Just chillin'.
- Yeah.
- Like a villain.
I can touch the ceilin'.
See you later.
Here we go! And do you wanna be a cave girl too.
Do you wanna be.
Thank you, thank you.
It's getting late, Taylor Hicks.
Do you mind if we call it a night? My adoring public needs me.
Just, just one more.
One more.
Fine.
Thank you.
Cappie! Cappie! Cappie! Cappie! All right, we'll do one more.
- Hey, stranger.
- Stranger? That's a bit dramatic.
Really? You room with my boyfriend, and I've seen you like what, twice in the past six months? Yeah.
I've just been caught up with Omega Chi pledging.
It shows.
I mean, without you there covering for Cappie, he's had to come up with new and inventive excuses for flaking on me to party with his bros.
Well, you know, fun can be time consuming.
You created the Godzilla of partying by taking him to Kappa Tau.
Trust me.
Trust me, Cappie He was already a monster.
I just pointed the way to Tokyo.
Come on, all right? That's Cappie.
I mean, he's the life of the party.
It's what you signed up for.
Glowing endorsement.
- No, he's a good guy.
- He's a great guy.
You're behind the steering wheel.
Touching you.
- Touching me.
- your collar's kinda - Man, is it? - Yeah, here.
- Here, here.
- Ok.
Anyway I'm not waiting around.
I'm gonna go home.
- I'll walk you.
- It's fine.
- Besides you're here with your friends.
- No, no, no.
No way.
I'm not gonna let you walk home alone.
I guess I could use someone to fend off the crazies.
Since my crazy is Busy.
Again.
I'm gonna.
Ev.
It's fine.
- You tried.
- I tried.
Thank you.
All right.
This next song goes out to the most beautiful girl in the world.
No, no.
Not you, Beav.
Ms.
Casey Cartwright.
I got to get myself ready for the ball, Ash.
Why am I looking for your lip gloss? Because you borrowed it! Last load, Case.
And then I'm out of here.
Sorry, Dino.
Let's get going.
What are you still doing here? Where's Cappie? Good question.
He was supposed to pick me up 30 minutes ago.
Unbelievable.
Well, would you like Dino here to fetch you an escort from Omega Chi? I know I would.
I want my own lousy escort.
If he ever shows.
Well, we'll wait with you until he gets here.
We really should get going.
I'll meet you there.
Frannie, please.
Don't wait.
It's okay.
Really.
I'm fine.
Are you sure? Come on.
Where's Cappie? Did he think I'd sit at the ZBZ house waiting forever for him? I know you know where he is.
Don't cover for him.
He went to get ready at the KT house.
What? Pre-party? I am so sick of this.
I'm competing for my boyfriend's attention with a house full of 50 guys.
I could go get him for you.
Do you want I'll get him for you.
Aren't you going to the dance? - No date.
- Why not? I just You know, I didn't want to go with just anybody.
We could go.
As friends.
Cause I've got.
I've got a suit.
So you wouldn't have to waste your beautiful dress.
I'll wait in the hall.
While you change.
All right.
Where's Cappie? Don't lie to me, Sasquatch.
He's upstairs.
Big sis in law.
I tried to stop her, but she scared me.
Why haven't you gone to pick up Casey? She's been waiting almost an hour! - Man.
I'm such an idiot! - Not the word I would use.
Hurry! Lady! Take a pill.
If my IB says he'll get there, sweetheart, - he'll get there.
- Stand down, Joe.
Yeah, relax.
Cappie's almost ready.
Why don't you do me a favor and go pet some rabbits downstairs? - I don't get it.
- Of course.
It's a literary reference anyone with a high school diploma would understand.
Unless, of course, you're a dumb jock who eats his way through a public education system with an eighth-grade reading comprehension.
And you What are you, like 45 now? The war's over, honey.
No more hiding at college to dodge the draft, and a miserable future of a minimum wage paying job.
I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go.
You Well, if I was Casey, I would have jettisoned you into the sun by now, but she, for some reason unknown to God or man, actually loves you.
You have to get over there! You're hurting one of the most amazing girls.
Believe me, you will regret it.
This is taking way too long.
Come on.
We have to go.
- Should I wear the tie? - I don't care.
Tell me what happened two years ago at the all-Greek ball.
Spitter, for the umpteenth time, it's a long story.
Well then let me make it shorter for you.
So I googled you.
Not a lot of Cappies on the web.
Especially ones who attended camp Kitchi Wa-Wa.
- It's yesterday's news.
- What I didn't know was the camp's most prominent benefactors were Jonathan and Mim Chambers.
- How did you - I'm really smart.
This is what I do.
You've known Evan since you were kids, your parents ran the arts and crafts program at camp and - you rushed Kappa Tau together.
- That's all on the internet? If you know your way around a search engine.
I use a lot of boolean operators.
Like "and, or, not," and occasionally "near.
" Will you please tell me what happened? All right, fine.
I missed the beginning of the dance, but when I got there We can't walk out on this song.
No more pre-partying on the way over in the car, Ok? That Look at that.
Hey, it's Bing.
No way.
- It's not what you think.
- I thought you had to study tonight.
I didn't think it'd be a party with my girl.
I went to your room and you weren't there.
I just didn't want to let her down, man, okay? - That's all.
- Are you saying I did? Are you saying you didn't? Ok, everybody.
Let's just back up.
I should have known you were gonna leave KT for those white collar douches, Didn't think you were gonna make a move on her.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you! All right, blame me, but this is about you.
You're still the same preppy tag-along from camp who needs my help to get into Kappa Tau.
I didn't need to have a makeover to get in.
I missed that silver spoon-fed Chambers we all know and tolerate.
You know, better than being spawned by a couple of dead head losers.
You look stunning.
You look pretty dapper yourself.
It's déja vu Sorta.
I've been thinking about the past myself lately.
- You're here to pick up Rebecca? - Would you kindly announce me? Only two years late.
I think that's the most I've ever heard her say to you.
- Shoulda heard her two years ago.
- What are you talking about? Two years ago, the night of the testicle? The night I allegedly stood you up? She came and found me at Kappa Tau.
I don't buy it.
She made Joe cry.
I thought she was gonna disembowel me.
- Buying it a little more.
- It's true, Case.
She had your back.
You really didn't know that? What are you doing here? Excuse me.
My lady, if you're not against changing your plans, I thought perhaps we might attend this evening's Cotillion.
- But you don't like to dance.
- But you like to.
I'll go change.
Ten more minutes and I'll be done.
You went to the KT house the night of the Greek ball? You're my little sis.
What was I supposed to do? If you're not doing anything, do you wanna go to the dance with Ashleigh and me? I'd love that.
Thanks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do at your U-Sag ball.
It's free cinemax tonight, so same to you.
What about Cappie? What about him?