How to Rock (2012) s01e15 Episode Script

Guys, can I have your attention please? You know how you're always talking about.
How long a walk it is from the steps.
All the way to where we rehearse? No.
Well, good news! We finally solved the problem.
You mean the problem that doesn't exist? What? Did someone say zip-line? Zip-line! Whoa! Crash! Okay.
It's not that bad.
Not that bad? I'm wearing my drum! Okay, it is that bad.
Wow, I am so shocked.
That your zip-line experiment went badly.
My drum.
Hold it together, man.
We'll get you a new one.
Where are you guys going to get the money? Yeah, where are we going to get the money? Don't worry, because I am about to have.
The greatest money-making idea in my entire life.
Ah, I got nothing.
Let me get back to you on that.
Well, I guess we're not rehearsing.
It's probably for the best.
I'm still working on some new song lyrics anyway.
Ooh, it's called lady.
Hey.
Look, it's not done and it's kind of personal, okay? So it's a love song? Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Oh, ho-ho-ho.
A love song, eh? Who's the lucky lady? Real mature, guys.
Oh, Zander, Did you write a love song about me? As much as I hate to end this, I've got to go.
Oh, but wait, Zander.
Oh, but, Zander, you're so romantic.
Oh, Zander! You forgot your notebook! Kacey, no.
We are not supposed to be looking.
Through Zander's notebook.
What? You don't want to look? Of course I want to, but he asked us not to, And we have to respect that.
'kay.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
But the thing is If we find out who Zander's "lady" is, We could help him get her.
That's true, actually.
We find out who she is, put in a good word, And then Zander's thanking us.
So it's like we have to look.
We'd be jerks not to look.
Let's do it! "you're my lady.
" That's cute.
Aw.
Oh, so sweet.
Oh! Whoa.
I know, Zander wrote a love song about Me.
Not you.
Me.
? Only You Can Be You ? only I can be me ? you always want to be what you're not ? ? can't you be happy with what you've got? ? ? you're perfect the way you are ? ? with your insecurities, flaws, and scars ? ? your life's too short to worry ? ? don't you know it's true ? ? Only You Can Be You ? only I can be me ? Only You Can Be You ? only I can be me ? Only You Can Be You ? only I can be me ? Only You Can Be You ? only I can be me.
? I can be me.
I can't believe Zander wrote a song about me.
Wake up, Stevie.
Nap time's over.
It's about me.
There's got to be some way to figure out who he likes.
I know.
If a guy likes a girl, He'll do anything for her, right? Right.
So we'll each ask Zander to do us a favor And whichever one of us he's nicer to.
Is the one he wrote the song about.
Yeah! His his "lady.
" But just so you know, it's it's me.
Apparently, nap time.
Is still in session.
We'll see.
- Hey, Zander.
- Howdy, howdy.
What's up? Not much, except I forgot my lunch.
And was wondering if I could have your potato chips.
Sure.
No problem.
Thanks, Zander.
And I was wondering if you could lend me five bucks.
Can do.
Thanks.
Hate to bug you again, But my new Cat is stuck up in a tree.
Do you mind going all the way up there.
And bringing her back down? - Yeah, sure I - But before you do, I just got a horse, and A horse? Really? Yeah, at the same place you bought your Cat.
Well, he's really hungry, and I'm all out of hay.
And so could you pick some up for me? Hay.
That's an odd request.
But if you need it, I suppose I can find a farm But before you do, Um, uh a thief! Thief! He stole my wallet.
And is boarding a flight to South American right now! Can you stop him? I don't think so.
Because you're getting hay for my horse? Because I'm going to Spanish.
- Hay? - South America? Really? Don't judge me A thief, stole your wallet What would he want your wallet What is with these backpacks? They're so heavy! I don't even know what's in here.
I think it's books, but I've never opened mine.
So how're we going to make enough money.
To buy new drums? I don't know.
What do you say we take the temperature.
Of the marketplace? Hi, Molly.
And your name is Nelson.
We've spoken hundreds of times.
Oh, of course.
Great to see you, melson.
Oh, that's Nelson with an "n.
" No, that doesn't sound right.
It's my name.
I think I'd know my own name, solly.
Solly.
Not funny.
So what do you want? Is there a product that you'd pay good money for.
If it were offered here at school? - A yacht.
- A pony.
- Easy-peasy.
Now all we've got to do is open a yacht store.
That sells ponies.
Slam dunk.
I wish somebody would carry these backpacks for us.
I'd pay someone to carry mine.
Brilliant! Step right up for the latest breakthrough.
In personal service.
Say hello to us carrying your backpacks - And good-bye to neck aches, muscle spasms, And advanced hunchback syndrome.
How much? How much you got, Andy? Three bucks.
What a coincidence! It's three bucks.
Hey, wait for me.
There goes your tip, bro.
Okay.
I've counted up all the money we've made so far.
How much? Including the $3 we just got from Andy, $3.
Count it again! Hey, guys.
We have to talk to you about Not now.
We're counting.
Nelson, where were we? Two.
- Continue.
- Three.
Okay.
Now you may talk.
We have stumbled upon something huge.
But if we tell you, you have to promise not to say anything.
We won't.
No, seriously.
You have to promise.
We do.
I mean, under penalty of death.
You cannot repeat anything that we are Look, we're too rich for these games.
Just tell us.
We read the lyrics to Zander's new love song.
And it's about one of us! We know we shouldn't have done it.
But we did, and now we're dying to know.
Which one of us he likes.
- Whoa.
- This is horrible.
What? Why? Why? It's the number-one rule about being in a band.
Band mates should never date.
Kacey, I'd be willing to leave the band for you immediately.
Good to know.
You know what? Nelson has a point.
Yeah.
I mean, I never really thought.
About how it would affect the band.
Imagine if Zander was in love with me.
? dance ? don't hold up the wall, come on ? ? you know you're here ?.
Just hold on.
Hold on.
There's something wrong.
Really? You're not Surrounded by beautiful flowers, my little kacey-doodle.
Thanks Zan-zan.
- We're gwing to start playing - I'm gonna be sick Okay, guys.
From the top.
? dance ? don't hold up the wall, come on ?.
Stop, stop! - Are you serious? - What? How are you supposed to sing Without a box of chocolaty goodness? - Oh, you are the sweetest, schmooby-boo.
- You are the schmoopy-poo.
- No, you - Oh I want to schmoopy-poo this drumstick.
Into my face! Yeah, we can't work like this.
We quit.
I'll bring back the ones I don't like.
Wow, I had no idea that I'd get so many gifts.
And the band would break up.
Oh, yeah.
That too.
Well, it wouldn't be any better if Zander likes you.
? dance ? don't hold up the wall, come on ? ? you know you Wait, wait, wait.
Stevie, your bass playing sounded great.
Thing is, I think it would be even cooler.
If you came in a little bit later so that What? You do not talk to Stevie like that! Stevie will come in whenever she's good and ready to come in.
Zander, it's all good.
No! It is not all good.
Nobody disrespects my lady like that.
Not you.
Not anybody.
I love when you get angry.
- We're out of here, stevie-kins.
Nobody tells baby when to come in.
Look, it doesn't matter who it is.
We just have to stop Zander's crush.
Before it breaks up the band.
Agreed.
Kacey, I want you to know I respect that it's the music that's keeping us apart.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Yup.
How do I look? Awful.
How do I smell? Horrible.
Perfect.
- And now, for the ultimate crush-killer Atomic onion breath.
- Mm-mmm.
Mm-mmm.
Let that marinate.
Let's get our gross on.
Hey, Zander.
Hey.
Funky new look.
Oh Yeah.
Whoa.
Onion.
Gross, right? No, it just kind of makes me hungry.
Well, if you're hungry Sloppy Joe? Oh, you know what? I'm still hungry.
Yummy.
- So good.
- So delicious.
You guzs, are you feeling okay? Oh, yeah! We're just being our gross, horrible selves.
A little stuff right right here.
You know what guys? I just got an awesome new idea for my song.
I'm going to go finish it.
You mean you're inspired to write that still? More than ever.
Well, that didn't work at all.
We're way too attractive.
We just can't turn it off.
Zwee! Zwee! Why are you making that sound? Oh, because it's not plugged in.
So then why don't you plug it in? No outlet? Then why are you wasting our time? I feel like I'm on trial here.
I'm sorry, but we have to reinforce these things.
If we're going to be carting around people.
And their backpacks.
Hey, have you guys noticed.
The girls are acting weird lately? Look, we know everything.
Everything.
But we promised we wouldn't betray their confidence, So you're not getting anything out of us.
As much as we'd love to tell you.
Come on, guys.
Sorry, we promised we wouldn't say anything.
Yes.
Say anything.
Oh, I get it.
You said that you couldn't say anything, But that doesn't mean you can't communicate.
In some other way, right? Right.
Kacey and Stevie.
Kacey and Stevie Ate lunch? No.
Uh Became Perfs! Wait, wait.
Went into the table manufacturing business? Color! You don't have permission to use words.
Uh, fire engine red.
Uh, fire? Engine.
Engine fire? They had an engine fire? Red! Oh, now you're just telling him.
You know what? Why don't you just write it down? That's not technically saying anything, right? Good idea.
So now you're going to play by the rules? Just write it down.
They think I like them? They read my song lyrics? I can't believe this.
Kacey and Stevie read my notebook? When I specifically asked them not to.
Oh, we didn't find out which one he likes.
- I've got it! - Who his lady is? No! Wheelbarrows are for suckers! If we're going to be carting around people.
And their backpacks, What we need is a pair of rickshaws.
Genius! Step right up.
Step right up.
Why walk to class when you can ride in comfort? Hi, melson.
It's about time they offered rickshaw rides around here.
I know, right? I mean, this is America.
What took us so long? We were thinking of going to Danny mango's for smoothies.
Is the mall too far? Not at all.
If you've got the cash, we've got the dash.
Great.
Which one of you is faster? Oh, I think Nelson's faster.
Sweet.
I think it's Marvin.
Kevin.
Sorry, marv.
Kev.
Only one way to solve this.
Whoever gets to the mall and back first.
Is the fastest rickshaw driver in all of Brewster high.
Oh, it's on.
You can do it, sparkle princess pony.
What did you call me? Sparkle princess pony? I took the three greatest words in the English language.
And gave them to you.
Oh.
That's different.
To the mall! To the mall and beyond! No.
Just to the mall.
Mush! Right here is fine, ladies.
That will be $7.
25.
You must be joking.
I've got change for a ten.
You made me sweat, pony boy! Not cool.
So did we make enough money for drums yet? Not even close.
Maybe we should try babysitting.
Right, right.
Uh, it's Zander.
Yeah.
He finished his new song, and he wants us to hear it.
Okay.
We have got to put an end to this.
I mean, I'm just going to go in there.
And tell him that, for the good of the band, We can't be together.
Oh, and by "we," you mean me and him.
Let's just agree that.
Whoever he has the crush on will let him down easy.
I'll be gentle.
You won't even be in the room.
Zander? We need to talk.
No, I need to talk.
I know you guys read my notebook.
And how do you know that? Look, I'm actually really glad this happened.
I'm in love, and it's time my lady.
Heard it directly from me.
Who's it going to be? I'm freaking out! Zander, Stevie and I have already discussed this, And for the good of the band, we just don't think Shh.
Let my heart speak.
Please be Stevie.
Please be Stevie.
Now sit down, close your eyes, And let me sing to my lady.
? hey, baby.
? I know how you get ? when I'm running around ? ? without you, uh-ooh, ooh ?.
It's Stevie.
Yes! ? but, darling ? just understand ? ain't nobody around here ? ? quite like you, uh-ooh, ooh ? - It's Kacey.
- So sorry.
? we're unconditional ?.
Wait.
What was his dog's name again? - Lady.
- Oh.
Lady! ? you're my lady ? ? beautiful how we click, got me walking on sunshine ? ? oh, my baby ? we could stare at the moon knowing it would be all right ? ? oh, my baby ? with you it's a stroll in the park ? ? cuddled up on the couch after dark ? ? you're, you're my lady ?.
Now let me have your hand, my lady.
What? Lady.
Come here, baby.
Lady is your dog.
This is who you wrote the song for? Yes, it is.
Who's my lady? You are.
I can't believe you did that to us.
No, I can't believe you guys read my notebook.
Oh, Zander.
You think that's funny? We we probably deserved that.
Nah.
You definitely deserved that.
Zander, what if I did think.
That you wrote the song about me? Is that really so crazy? Why? Are you disappointed it wasn't about you? No.
I mean, it's better this way.
Makes life a lot less complicated.
Cool.
Cool.
I think that you're really special.
Thanks.
I was talking to lady! Oh, of course! What am I thinking? - Hey.
- Oh, hey, lady.
Never stops.
So, Zander, no hard feelings, right? Hey, not from me, either.
All right.
Good.
What's that? - Oh, a squirt gun filled with slurpee-chow.
- What? - Liquid dog food.
Ready Kacey? Oh, yeah.
Sing that you like dog so much so I thought you would like a few more.