Mighty Med (2013) s01e15 Episode Script

Oh, dude, check it out! "Unbridled mayhem.
" The video game so disturbing, it comes with a night light.
We've got to have this.
I know, 'cause I need a new night light.
Mine's so babyish.
Not so fast, punk.
Who are you? The name's Bryan, with a "y.
" And an "r" and an "a" and an "n" and a "b.
" But not in that order.
Wallace and Clyde left me in charge while they're at the identical twin comic book store owners' convention.
And I'm not gonna sell you this game.
It's too intense, and you are not mature enough to play it.
Bryan, my good man, it just so happens that my associate and I are exceptionally mature, so mature, in fact, that we pronounce "mature" "matoor.
" If you replace the "t" in mature with an "n," it spells "manure.
" That's cow poop.
You cannot have this game.
Period.
It seems more like an exclamation point than a period.
You listen here Colon.
No game for you! Exclamation point.
Understand? Question mark.
Maybe it's just as well, Kaz.
If we bought the game we'd play it all weekend instead of finishing our biology lab that's due Monday.
- What biology lab? - For the past month, we're supposed to have been photographing and charting the development of caterpillar larvae into butterflies.
I must have been absent when they assigned that project.
No, you were there.
You got them, like, a month ago.
I remember you laughed because the word "butterfly" has the word "butt" in it.
As so many words do.
Butter, buttermilk, butts.
Anyway, I don't remember being given any caterpillar larvae.
Oh, now I remember.
I put them in my backpack.
Every day's an adventure you never know by the looks on our face At the school when we enter Leave class early, work at 3:30 Hit the comic store, read up before the journey All these new issues and superpowers If we didn't have to work, we'd be here for hours Everybody say that we shouldn't worry But have you ever seen superheroes on a gurney? Will we save the world today? you never know will we all be safe today? you never know will we fly away or stay? you never know but you know we're mighty med, team up and let's go! Saving people that save people after classes We flip the page then jump to action They call us normo, normally fantastic Seeing superheroes that we only imagined This type of life, you got to have fight Put up your fists and fight for what's right Never can tell, what we see is out of sight Do the same thing tomorrow that we did tonight Will we save the world today? You never know, will we all be safe today? You never know, will we fly away or stay? You never know, but you know we mighty med Team up and let's go! Boys, I need your help.
I'm performing a groundbreaking procedure.
Why are you operating on a toy? If you're trying to replace the batteries, you're using the wrong tool.
You need a teeny-tiny Phillips head.
Don't make fun of Phillip's head.
He's very self-conscious about it.
It's not nearly as big as he wishes it were.
Hey, Phillip.
Head's looking huge.
You're just sayin' that.
Wait! This isn't a toy.
That's brain matter.
If he defrosts, he'll turn into a rampaging beast.
I think I can cure him with this experimental serum.
But first, I need you to step back.
- For safety? - No.
One of you has been eating salami.
Where am I? What's happened to me? And who's been eating salami? Brain matter, it's me, Dr.
Horace Diaz.
I've injected you with a serum that should give you all the powers you tried to create for yourself, but without the side effects.
That's incredible.
Let's test those powers, starting with super-vision.
How many fingers is the man on the corner of walnut and 4th holding up? Three.
I'm just gonna have to trust you.
I don't have super-vision.
Next Use your telekinesis to lift that flower pot.
So nothing.
Did you see that? The serum must have altered some of his powers.
- Now he can make things age and grow.
- That's incredible.
Do you realize what you can do with a power like that? End world hunger.
Restore the Amazon rain forest.
No.
Something that affects me.
Hey, can you help me with my biology lab? I bet you could age caterpillar eggs into butterflies in 30 seconds instead of 30 days.
Not now.
I'm watching a movie in a theater in Omaha.
Ugh, I always get stuck behind a guy with a giant head.
No one ever complains about my head being too big.
Skylar, can I talk to you about something personal? No.
Thanks.
Because I'm hoping you can help me.
It's kinda hard to say this, but my body is starting to undergo some Changes.
That can only be good news.
What kind of changes? Well, sometimes, when I get suddenly frightened, I No.
I can't tell you.
It's too embarrassing.
It's okay, Alan.
You don't have to tell me.
Because I can just do this boo! (Shrieks) See? Look at this! What should I do? Help pull Santa's sleigh? Come on.
Why don't you just talk to Horace? - I mean, he is your Uncle.
- Are you crazy? I'm not comfortable talking to him about anything like this.
Please, you're a great hero.
You devoted your life to helping people.
Can't you help me? Wow.
You really think I'm still a hero? No! I was just saying that to trick you into doing what I want.
Man, you are really bad at asking for help.
But, fine, I'll help you.
Thank you.
But just promise you won't mention any of this to my Uncle Horace.
He wouldn't understand.
And he's an avid hunter.
Hey, owl girl.
I heard you were with veritas, the superhero owl of truth.
And you know who told me? A little birdie.
Get it? Actually, it was solar flare; She's kind of a gossip.
Brain matter, I really appreciate you helping me with my biology lab.
I would also appreciate you not whining about it.
I've been shrunk down and frozen for years.
Aging caterpillars into butterflies wasn't the first thing on my wish list of things to do.
What was the first thing you wanted to do? Return this movie I rented to my local video store.
I'm sure they're still around, right? Yeah, sure.
Maybe after that, we can go get some sneakers with wheels on them.
Already got 'em.
Okay, here are the caterpillars.
Let's make some butterflies.
Something's wrong with your power.
Instead of making the caterpillars older, you made 'em younger.
They're eggs now.
No, I have to turn in this report.
I can't get anything lower than a "c.
" Or a "d" and I can turn it into a "b" by just putting a little line through it.
Uh-oh.
Veritas is an egg now.
What are we gonna do? I don't know about you, but I'm skating the heck out of here.
Man, what do we tell owl girl? I vote nothing.
I agree.
Sorry, egg of truth.
Feels so ironic to have to lie about this.
Skylar.
Can I talk to you about something personal? No.
Thanks.
I'm worried about Alan.
He's acting even creepier than usual.
I'd ask him what's wrong, but I don't feel comfortable discussing personal things with him.
That's funny, because I don't feel comfortable discussing personal things with you.
Why is that funny? Maybe if you said it with a funny hat on.
No, still not funny.
Look, the way I see it, you have two options.
You can try to develop a meaningful relationship with Alan, who could use a father figure.
Or you can take the coward's way out, and stick your head in the sand.
Horace Diaz does not stick his head in the sand.
Not with this head of hair.
But he does take the coward's way out whenever possible.
Good talk.
Oliver, wake up! How could you oversleep? That's my thing.
(Groaning) Get up.
We have to try to fix brain matter so he can help me with my biology lab.
Come on, wakey-wakey.
Eggs and What the bac-y?! Dude, I'm exhausted.
I was sleeping like a baby.
Come back, in, like, ten years.
Hey, take it easy.
What is (Screams) I look like I'm four years old.
When brain matter reverse-aged the caterpillars and the owl, you must've been standing in the path of his power.
Your body regressed ten years.
Why hasn't my brain? And why didn't it happen as soon as I was zapped? And why did my clothes also get smaller? I don't know.
I'm terrible at science.
Man, I didn't even do my biology lab.
What am I going to do? You certainly can't go to high school like this So can I have your biology lab? Why are you holding my hand? I don't know.
Instincts? Stop it.
It's weird.
This whole thing is weird.
We have to find brain matter, but we can't let Horace know oh, Kaz! Who is this cutie-patootie? Um he's my nephew.
He's a sweetie pie.
Guards, have this adorable little boy taken away and cubed.
Horace, it's me, Oliver.
Kaz, what have you done? Brain matter accidentally exposed Oliver to the age reversal process.
Now he's a four-year-old, and he's really clingy.
- Amazing.
- No, not amazing.
It took forever to make it here.
He wanted to stop and pet every doggie he saw.
Good news.
I fine-tuned brain matter's aging power so he can revert you back to normal, if that's what you want.
Yes, please.
They are impossible Tor reason with at this age.
Okay.
Hold still.
Uh-oh.
What just happened? It seems we went a teeny bit past 14.
A teeny bit? I'm in my 30's?! That's like almost dead! I guess we'll have to do some more tests on brain matter.
What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Start saving for retirement? Never mind.
I know exactly what to do.
Can I help you Comma sir? Question mark.
Yes, my 30-year-old brother would like to buy "unbridled mayhem," please.
You're still holding my hand! Phillip, can I talk to you about something personal? No.
Thanks.
I'm trying to figure out a way to get Alan and Horace to talk to each other and stop talking to me.
Wait.
Horace is in the rec room.
Maybe if I can get Alan in there, and then scare Alan, Horace will see what happens, that will break the ice, and then they'll talk about it.
What do you think? I don't know who Horace, Alan or you are.
I just started working here, and I already regret it.
Alan! I need you to go to the rec room right away.
Can't it wait? I'm very busy right now not being in the rec room.
But it's urgent.
There's a leak in there.
So call the janitor.
I can't because It's the janitor who's leaking.
Bodily fluids Everywhere.
And you're the only one who can save him.
Wow! Finally, everyone will know that Alan Diaz is heroic and brave and (Shrieks) That looks painful.
Yes.
And these are just the needles you can see.
Man, I love having a You're old enough to rent an industrial vacuum.
And you can drive me anywhere, like, to the industrial vacuum rental store.
Brain matter's power made me 15 years older.
It didn't magically give me a car.
So you're 30 years old and you don't have your own car? That's pathetic.
Come on, Oliver, chill out.
You're acting like a cranky old man.
Um, dude? I've turned into my father.
Literally.
My gut, my hairline, my desire to dance like this.
Brain matter's aging power still must be affecting you.
But don't panic, because the way I figure it, at this rate, in about an hour, you'll be Dead years old.
Okay, now you can panic.
Brain matter, can I pick your brain matter about something personal? No.
Thanks.
I've been thinking about what skylar said about me being a father figure for Alan.
But I feel like it's too late.
I'd like to help you, but I'm over there now.
Thanks.
Good talk.
Alan, listen, listen.
I don't need a mind reader to tell me something's bothering you.
Fortunately, we have a mind reader on staff, and she told me something's bothering you.
So let's just sit over here, and you can confide in me as much as you want.
I don't care how long it takes.
There's nothing on my mind.
Well, I gave it my best shot.
Brain matter, can I talk to you about something personal? No.
Thanks.
- It's about Horace and Alan.
- They're both in there.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got 2,200 voicemails to get to.
They're all from my mother.
I just need a way to scare Alan.
Alan, please.
You can tell me anything.
And I promise, I'll always support you without judgment.
Okay.
It's just (Growling) (Shrieking) Horace: Oh, that stinks.
Thanks, nightmare lady.
What's happening to me? It's perfectly normal.
A lot of people with powers develop new abilities at your age.
- They do? - Yes.
It seems you've inherited your grandfather's power to morph into animals.
Once you learn to control your power, it'll be very useful.
So I can get a discount at go-kart tracks where animals drive for free? I should take you out more.
Anyway, you can come to me with problems any time.
Although, if you want to be the strong, silent type, that's fine, too.
You can even be the weak, silent type.
Any type plus silence that's the key.
Skylar, thanks for being there for me.
And I know I smell pretty bad, plus now, there's also the skunk odor.
Horace, Oliver is aging uncontrollably.
We've got less than an hour before we lose him.
- Where's brain matter? - At the airport.
His car's been in long-term parking the whole time he's been frozen.
Apparently, he owes them $65,000.
We have to figure out a way to reverse the aging process fast before Oliver dies of unnatural natural causes.
He has pretty much no pulse.
I guess this is the end, Oliver.
At least you lived to a ripe old age.
What are you talking about? I lived to 14, and then, like, one more day.
Horace, this is all your fault.
None of this would've happened if you hadn't tried to fix brain matter.
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
Or a few promises.
If you promise someone an omelet and don't deliver it.
Eggs.
That's it.
I'll be right back.
Oliver, do not move.
I'm 90.
Where am I gonna go? Florida? It's already hatched.
Ah, the caterpillar eggs.
Okay.
I know it's a long shot, but I think eggs might be the answer.
I know where you're going with this.
We make Denver omelets.
No, when brain matter had the power to turn things younger, he zapped my caterpillars, and they transformed into these.
If the eggs are still infected with some of that power, then eating them will turn Oliver younger.
That just might work.
But if it doesn't, then Denver omelets? Solar flare, can you cook these for me? Oliver, eat up these chicken eggs that I totally bought at the grocery store.
You saved his life! But you didn't make me an omelet.
If anything, you made me a broken promises omelet.
Why did I even tell you about those? Kaz, thank you for saving me.
But I do not want to be four again.
You need to change me.
Okay, Horace and I will work on it.
No, I mean You need to change me.
I'm not potty trained.
Okay, think I found the solution.
This tangerine is from the plant that brain matter grew from a seedling, so eating a bite should bring you back to normal.
- It worked.
- All right, yes! Now that you're back to normal, we can focus on what's really important.
Trying to enjoy every day as we live it instead of wishing we were older all the time? No.
Playing inappropriate nightmare-inducing video games like "unbridled mayhem.
" Oh, hey, guys.
What are you (Shrieking) What was that? I'll tell you what that was.
My new biology lab.