Murphy Brown s01e15 Episode Script

Yes, she's back.
And in case any of you wanna know, it was a great trip.
Mrs.
Thatcher's interview was terrific and I sat next to Smokey Robinson on the plane.
Look.
His dinner roll.
Very funny.
May I have everyone's attention, please? I'm looking for Murphy Brown.
Someone tell me where she is.
- Mother! - Murphy.
- This is a - A surprise.
Yeah.
Big surprise.
- How are you, Mother? - I'm fine.
How are you, Murphy? Just fine.
So.
Mother.
Is there some new gallery opening in town? No.
Is there some big fundraising event? - No.
- Well, why are you here, Mother? Do I need an excuse to visit my daughter? I thought I'd like to spend a little time with you.
As a matter of fact, I've cleared my schedule so I'm available to stay as long as you'd like.
Isn't that wonderful? Frank.
Jim.
Come here.
Quickly.
There's someone I'd like you to meet.
Frank Fontana, Jim Dial, this is Avery Brown.
- My mother.
- Your mother? Well, it's great to meet you, Mrs.
Brown.
Wow, Murph.
You've got a mother.
Lovely to meet you.
I hope you enjoy your stay in the nation's capital.
Be sure to visit the Treasury Building.
They have a million dollars on display.
Miles, Miles.
Come on over here.
Meet Murphy's mother.
Avery Brown, Miles Silverberg.
This is Murphy's mother? Wow! It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs.
Brown.
How do you do? You know, I don't often think of Murphy as having a mother.
Let me just say, she's doing great here at FYI.
She has a good attitude and she's learning to work well with others.
So tell me, Mrs.
Brown, is Mr.
Brown here as well? No, Mr.
Brown is in Chicago with a woman half his age.
We've been divorced for 15 years.
I got the house and a lot of money.
He got his underwear and the asphalt on the driveway.
- Are you married, Mr.
Dial? - Yes, yes I am.
Oh, that's too bad.
You're a very attractive man.
Bright and a good height.
Well, in another life.
I'm not married.
Young man, have you ever heard the expression: "Can't pound a nail with a tack hammer"? Boy, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Mother, why don't we go into my office and we can talk.
It's been very nice meeting all of you.
I'm sure I'll see a lot more of you.
Guys, don't go far.
Mother, just go in and make yourself comfortable.
I'll get you some coffee.
Well, Murphy, your mother is quite the spitfire.
Something's really wrong, guys.
My mother never just drops in on me.
If we made up a list of favorite things to do "visit each other" would be about tied with "get appendectomy.
" There's not one visit we've had that wasn't a disaster.
Maybe this time will be different.
Look at it as an opportunity to change the past.
- Sounds great in theory.
But she's not fooling me for a minute.
I know there's a reason why she's here and I'm not looking forward to finding out what it is.
Like I really wanted to marry her.
You could have just sent the steak back, Mother.
You didn't have to go into the kitchen and make the chef eat it.
You can't let people get away with shoddy service.
It starts with overcooked meat and ends with President Quayle.
Your town house is lovely, dear.
Thank you, Mother.
I had some work done on it since you saw it last.
Although you still have that picture over the mantel.
I've never understand why you gravitate to florals.
- I like that painting.
- You just think you do.
I'll send you something else when I get home.
Well, what are we going to do now? We could play poker or we could find another place for that couch.
I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted.
What do you say we call it a day? Oh, now, just wait a minute.
Go to bed without our hot cocoa? You know it's tradition.
I've been thinking a lot about that lately.
Remember how Eloise would bring it to us on our favorite silver tray with one praline cookie for you and one praline cookie for me.
And you'd sit on my lap and we'd listen to the Nutcracker Suite.
Oh, God, you're dying! That's why you're here, isn't it? I apologize for everything.
I was gonna send you a Christmas card, but I didn't have stamps and you know what the lines are like - What are you talking about? I'm not dying.
For God's sake, do I look like I'm dying? Now, come on.
What do you say we get our hot cocoa? For old times' sake, okay? Okay.
Do you know how to make hot cocoa? No, do you? Where is Eloise when we need her? I'll go see if I can figure it out.
Police! Police! He works here! It's okay! Who the hell is this broad? Eldin Bernecky, this is Avery Brown, my mother.
This is your mother? I never pictured you having a mother.
Nice to meet you.
I guess I should be glad there were no wire coat hangers laying around.
Eldin's the one doing work on the house, Mother.
- He keeps strange hours.
- So Iooks like we'll finally be getting some home cooking around this place, huh? Your daughter, she's no Julia Childs.
Maybe while you're here you could help her out.
Teach her how to select produce stuff a nice turkey.
Check his pockets for jewelry.
Eldin, did I mention my mother is a curator at the National Gallery in Philadelphia? Mother, Eldin is no ordinary housepainter.
He's an artist.
I'm a student of the WPA and Russian Constructivist period.
Which is why murals fascinate me.
When I first saw the ceiling of Rockefeller Plaza I wept.
Why, you know, I curated an exhibit of Kandinsky's work last year.
There's a certain utopian nostalgia in his work that I find enlightening.
My favorite artist of that era is Lissitzky.
His work is atypical, but I think it was important.
What can I tell you? She likes the painting over the mantel too.
Excuse me while I go set the kitchen on fire.
You know, dear, I think maybe you're right about turning in.
- Mister? - Bernecky.
I hope I didn't leave any scars.
We'll continue our conversation tomorrow.
Murphy, you get your rest.
I'm taking you shopping tomorrow.
And we're going to drop in on the hairdresser's.
It looks like time for a trim.
Good night, Mother.
Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite.
What a captivating woman.
Yeah? Then you go shopping with her while she drags you from store to store, forcing you to try on things you hate.
You go to the hairdresser with her while she and Fabio decide whether you should have bangs or not.
Well, not this time.
I've come a long way in a few years and it's about time I made her realize that.
Well, I think it's ridiculous, Murphy, to go to a museum when I can spend the day with my daughter in her own environment.
I told you, Mother, there's nothing happening today.
I'm gonna make a few calls and do some paperwork.
That's it.
Go to the Smithsonian.
You'll have a much better time.
Well, if you're sure.
But I've been to the Smithsonian.
Maybe I'll tour the White House and see what damage the Bushes have done.
There you go.
Murphy? Don't say anything.
I wasn't going to.
Love the hat, Mrs.
Brown.
We need a meeting.
I had to kill the piece on the insanity plea and we need something in its place.
I knew something good was going to happen today.
A meeting.
- I love meetings.
- You're welcome to sit in.
I know that.
Come on.
What are we waiting for? We have a deadline to meet.
All right, everyone, gather around, put your thinking caps on.
I see Murphy's already wearing hers.
As you know, we're facing a crisis situation.
Forty-eight hours till airtime, and we have no lead story.
Our backups are highly sensitive and have not cleared Legal.
This is due to the changing climate in standards and practices which mandates more stringent ethics in broadcast journalism.
Miles is trying to act smart because we have a visitor.
Would you work with me here, Corky? Look, what if we do an update on Star Wars with the focus on the new secretary of defense? - Not bad.
- Though it's overdone.
- How about that piece on the witness protection program? - We're still waiting on two key interviews.
What about the Supreme Court's cutback on affirmative action? - We should cover that.
- I like that for the future but it seems too ambitious for our deadline.
You've got to do something on airport security.
It's a very timely subject now, and you'd be remiss if you didn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the FAA is releasing a national study next month.
A wife of one of the committee members is an acquaintance of mine.
I could make a call.
I love this.
This is great.
Timely and highly promotable.
Murphy, I want you to get on it now.
What if I don't wanna do a story on airport security? What if I wanna do affirmative action? You can't do it.
You don't have time.
I do too.
I have time.
I don't wanna do her story.
I wanna do mine.
- Don't be stubborn, dear.
- Listen to your mother now.
I don't want to.
Murphy, you know how I hate to pull rank.
Do you wanna be on TV this week? Well, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Okay, I'll do it.
I'll do airport security.
But I don't have to like it, and you can't make me.
Are you making the burgers smaller? Didn't you used to serve two cups of coleslaw on each plate? I don't like the looks of this, Murphy.
You're doing the same thing with food you used to do with booze.
This wouldn't have anything to do with the fact your mother's in town? How'd you know my mother's in town? She came in here about an hour ago.
She found six ways to increase the efficiency of my staff and helped throw out a drunk.
Damn good-looking woman too.
Got good calves.
- Hey, Murph.
- Hi, Frank.
So are you gonna come back to the office today, or are you planning on staying here right through dinner? - I'm hiding, Frank.
- What do you mean, "hiding"? - Hiding.
Hiding.
What's wrong with you? This is so absurd.
I'm an adult woman.
An accomplished woman.
My mother comes to visit me and I'm reduced to an 8-year-old.
I feel stupid and little, and all the furniture looks bigger than it is.
You've got to admit, she is a pretty amazing woman.
She even looks good in hats.
How do you live up to that? You shouldn't try.
I stopped trying with my parents five years ago.
I bought them a condo in Boca Raton moved them down.
Two weeks later a hurricane hits and suddenly it's my fault.
I'm telling you, you can't win.
You can't.
Then there's the little matter of why she's here, which is still a mystery.
I wanna show you something, Frank.
- This is a picture of my mother and father.
- Right.
- Do you see anything strange? - No.
I don't look like either of them.
That's the answer, Frank.
That's what she's come to tell me.
I'm adopted.
You know, Murph, for somebody who holds down a job and dresses herself in the morning, you are one doughnut short of a dozen.
I just wish I could have a closer relationship with her.
Do you know that in our adult lives, we've never said "I love you" to one another? I tried to once, but Well I was thinking I'd invite her to the show tomorrow night.
Let her sit in on a live broadcast.
See me in action, doing what I do best.
- What do you think? - I think you should stop trying to please her so much.
- Your mother seems to be enjoying herself.
- I really think she is.
Bringing her onto my turf was a great idea.
I'm starting to feel like myself again.
I said you could get through this visit in one piece.
She's such a dear, sweet woman, Murphy.
She really does deserve grandchildren.
There's just a few minutes till airtime, Mother.
Why don't we go over here, and you can watch the show near Miles.
He can explain any complicated technical things that might come up.
Don't ask me how the picture goes through the air into the television.
Still don't get it.
Okay, Murphy, here's your copy.
The guy from the FAA is in the green room.
He likes charts and numbers, so you'll have to find a way to personalize the interview.
Ask him about his daughter's trip to Europe.
He sat by the phone and chewed his nails until she landed safely.
This is great.
You gotta use that, Murphy.
I wanna start by asking him who intends to pay for increased security.
The airlines, the government or the consumer.
Oh, I think the more compelling issue is, who are they hiring? - How are they training them? - You have to talk dollars and cents first.
- Why? - Because that's the primary issue.
- Not to me, it isn't.
Well, that's you.
And this is me.
And I'm not you and you're not me.
And why did you make me wear those hats to school? I hated those hats.
I hated every single one of them.
You know which one I hated most? The beret.
That's right.
Remember when I told you Shelly stole it out of my locker? She didn't.
I tied it to the back of my bike and dragged it past the Kramers' German shepherd, who chewed it up while I watched and I laughed.
Like this: Well enjoy the show, Mother.
You little stinker.
You've been sneaking after me ever since you were a kid and you're still doing it.
- Well, now I know one thing for sure.
I'm definitely not adopted.
You know, that was a side of you I've never seen before.
And it's a side of me you're never gonna see again.
We haven't laughed like that in a long time.
- No.
- Felt good.
I wish it could happen more often.
Mother, why are you here? Well, I just felt l I thought that You're the only child I've got, and I thought it was time we learned how to be mother and daughter.
Mother, I don't know how to be your daughter.
Because I don't know how to be perfect.
I've been trying for 40 years, but I just don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Well, if there's anybody who isn't perfect, it's me.
I've done a lot of things in my life but when you compare them to having a child they don't mean very much.
You're my great achievement.
But somewhere long ago, I lost you and I never got you back.
Surprised? Mother admitting to failure.
But I'll tell you something.
In here I know all the secrets.
Tell me one.
I I never wanted to have a birthday party.
Do you know why? Because I was afraid no one would come.
I'll tell you another one.
I'm terrified to walk into a room full of strangers because I'm sure no one will want to talk to me.
I'll tell you one of mine.
I've never said "I love you" because I'm afraid no one will say it back.
Why don't you try it? I love you.
I love you.
You know what I'm in the mood for all of a sudden? - What? - Praline cookies.
That sounds great.
Let's go in the kitchen and bake some.
Do you know how to bake praline cookies? - No, do you? - No.
- Feel brave? - Let's go for it.
Hello? Mom?