Phineas and Ferb s01e15 Episode Script
I Scream, You Scream (15 min)
Okay, Isabella.
Say "Aaaah".
Ahhhh Oh, good.
The swelling has gone down dramatically.
I'll be back to check on you soon.
So, Isabella, what'cha doin'? Oh, just recovering.
But I finally got my tonsillectomy patch.
We just came by to cheer you up.
And to see if you're feeling well enough to go on with our event.
Sorry, guys.
My throat still hurts like crazy.
That's cool.
Sorry, gang.
We've got to postpone the Trojan War reenactment till further notice.
You know, the best part of getting your tonsils out is that you get to eat all the ice cream you want.
Really? Mountains of it! We could have the biggest ice cream sundae ever made! Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today! First, we gotta draw up some plans.
Wait.
No time for that.
You go to Blueprint Heaven, I'll head home and meet the delivery guy.
Hello? Blowtorch City? Yeah, I'll hold.
When are they letting you out of this joint? This afternoon.
Perfect.
We should have just enough time.
So, I'm going out, Vanessa.
Remember, you're at your Dad's this weekend.
Great.
A whole 48 hours of evil.
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, your father is not evil.
We just didn't get along.
We wanted different things.
Was one of those things "to be evil"? Because he's evil.
He's not evil, honey.
No one's evil.
No, Mom.
He's evil.
You don't notice about him? He has evil schemes.
Normal people don't have schemes of any kind.
And there's this secret agent that always bursts in, and-- I think you're being overly dramatic.
Mom, I'm not being dramatic.
Dad builds evil contraptions every day.
Wait.
Let me check on something.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorpora-- Yup.
He's even got his own evil jingle, right on his answering machine.
Listen! Hello? Oh, hello, Heinz.
Dad! Why'd you pick up? You always let the machine get it! Well, I heard it ring the first time, so I was standing right by the phone.
Oh, by the way, could you pick up some blueprints for me on your way over? Thank you, sweetie.
Great.
Now he wants me to pick up some evil blueprints for his latest evil contraption.
And as soon as he's done building it, I'll have proof! I'll call you, and you can see for yourself.
So, you need plans to build a giant ice cream sundae maker, do you? Hmm! I'm not sure we sell blueprints for that anymore.
Whoa! Hold on, sweetie.
No need to get upset.
I'll go check in the back, okay? Okay.
Let's see.
Giant sundae machine.
I got a yogurt machine! How's that sound? Yeah.
I don't care for yogurt either, baby.
I'll keep looking.
You're in luck.
I found one! Now, what do you need, sweetie? I'm here to pick up an order for Doofenshmirtz.
Oh, yes.
Your Daddy just called.
Hey, how's it goin'? Can you bring it back here? Thanks.
That's great.
You're not going to believe it, Stacy.
But when I turned around, Jeremy was standing right behind me.
Well, actually he was sitting, and he was a couple blocks away, but he was right there! Keep it coming! Keep it coming! Okay, stop.
Great.
Stack 'em over here.
Um, Stace? I'm going to have to call you back.
And that's the last of it.
Eh, just need you to sign right here.
Say, aren't you a little young to be using titanium plating and an industrial arc welder? Yes.
Yes, I am.
I get that a lot.
Phineas, you know I'm in charge, right? Well, isn't that just if a satellite crashes into the- No, no, no! When Mom's at her cooking class, I'm in charge.
Now, what are you up to out here? I'd like to tell you, but it's gonna be a big surprise.
Hey, wait a second.
Have you seen Perry? Perry! Sorry to wake you, Agent P.
Looks like Doofenshmirtz is getting sloppy.
He sent his daughter right into our sting operation and purchased blueprints for a Space Laser-inator.
We intend to pass him fake plans, but due to a rookie error, and by "rookie", I mean, Carl.
Sorry.
My bad.
The plans he received are real.
Terrifyingly real.
Again, I must apologize, I was in character-- You better step on it, Agent P.
Before it's too late.
Can you give me a hand unpacking this stuff, Candace? I'm not gonna help you.
But as soon as I figure out what you're up to, I'm calling Mom! Okay.
Say hi for me! Bonjour, class.
Today, we will be making crepes Guilbaud.
Candace, is everything all right? Well, if you don't even know what he's doing, how do you know if it's a problem? Is there something you would like to share with the whole class? Sorry, sir.
Candace, I'll talk to you later, okay? Ugh! I'm keeping an eye on you.
Hey, Ferb.
You got the blueprints? Excellent! Isabella's gonna love it! Perry the Platypus, you-- you're early.
I haven't even started yet.
My- my daughter should be here any minute with the blueprints, though.
Oh, there she is.
Good morning, Vanessa.
You remember Perry the Platypus.
Yeah.
Hi.
Perry the Platypus, why don't you have a seat in my waiting area? Read some magazines! Sorry they're all in Spanish, I-- I steal them from my neighbor.
You know, evil never rests.
So, Dad.
This plan, it's evil, right? Oh, yes.
Yes, it is! It's nice to see you taking an interest in the family business.
That's all I need to know.
I'm in class now, Vanessa.
I have to go.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, Vanessa, I'll leave my phone on.
Teenagers.
Ugh.
What are we making this week? I think it is crepes, but you know, I can't understand his accent.
(Song: Busted) I can see the things you're doing And you think that I'm naïve But when I get the goods on you, she'll finally believe She says it's all just drama But every bubble's got to pop She's gonna see just what you're doing And then you're finally gonna have to stop Don't think you're gonna win this time 'Cause you better believe I'm gonna drop a dime on you I'll get ya (Yeah!) I'll get ya (Yeah!) And when I do, you're gonna be busted (Busted!) I don't wanna put the hurt on you But you better believe me when I tell you That I finally got the dirt on you You're busted (Busted!) Yeah, she's finally gonna see the light This is how it's gonna be When she finds out that I was always right You're busted! Oh, Perry the Platypus! It's finally ready! Too bad you can do nothing but watch as I prepare to launch my Space Laser-Inator! Wow, I bet that thing must be really evil, huh? Vanessa, take a look out that window and tell me what you see.
Uh, not much.
Exactly! Ever since that stupid billboard went up, my panoramic view is completely ruined.
I used to have this perfect vantage point for enjoying the delicious misery of others.
Oh, man! Oh, man! You owe $78,000.
Oh, man! But, after I launch this baby into orbit, my problem will be solved! Then, I can go on to eliminate all the other annoyances that make my skin crawl! Like, uh Nature! Beauty! Aw.
Morning talk show hosts! Yeah! Soon, there will be nothing that can withstand the wrath of Dr.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Doctor? Since when are you a doctor? They don't just give these out to anybody, you know.
Anybody with 15 bucks, they do.
That's enough looking! I'd love to debate you, but I have some pressing business to take care of, like remaking the Tri-State Area in my own, twisted image! Oh my gosh! This is worse than I thought! Oh, Dad is going to be so busted.
Busted Now, carefully pour the batter.
Slowly, slowly.
Oh, for Pete's sake! Vanessa? Candace, this better be important.
He's doing what? Honey, are you sure you're not exaggerating just a little bit? Well, it's not that I don't believe you, honey But every time I race home, I find out everything is just fine.
Yes, I'll be right over.
I'm on my way.
Teenagers! Tell me about it.
Now, to launch my creation and begin my reign of terror! Evil terror.
Huh? Ah.
Ugh Well, this can't be right.
Get ready for a giant sundae! Well, this can't be right.
Lemme see those blueprints.
Oh, wait a minute.
Those are the plans for a Space Laser- -inator, apparently.
I was wondering what that thing was for.
That must be the laser.
It's a good thing we didn't attach it, huh? Mom! Mom! Hurry! Come on, come on! Hi, kids.
How are you doing? Huh? We're just about to make a nice handmade sundae for Isabella.
Oh, that is so sweet! Come on in the kitchen.
I'll help you with it.
C-Come on, Mom! Hurry! See?! Evil! I told you! Hmm.
Um, that's not evil, dear.
A bit much, perhaps.
Heinz, what is all this? I thought you were lactose intolerant.
I am! Oh I'm paying you way too much alimony.
And what's over there? That is no way to treat your pet! But Mom, that's a secret agent! A secret agent? He's just a little platypus.
They don't do much, you know.
Wow, guys.
This is amazing! I was afraid you guys were gonna go overboard and build some giant sundae contraption or something! Actually, we were gonna do that, but we accidentally build a space laser instead.
Ferb, you're usually so focused.
How did you get those plans confused? Hey.
How's it goin'? Hey, Ferb.
Snap out of it.
What happened back there? I was weak.
There's a new cop on the beat, and I'm bringin' down the heat My eyes are wise to all your lies, 'cause you're not that discreet And I don't care what you heard 'Cause there's one 6-letter word It's gonna set me free Gonna set me free It starts with a "B" Starts with a "B" Goes "B-U-S-T-E-D", you are busted
Say "Aaaah".
Ahhhh Oh, good.
The swelling has gone down dramatically.
I'll be back to check on you soon.
So, Isabella, what'cha doin'? Oh, just recovering.
But I finally got my tonsillectomy patch.
We just came by to cheer you up.
And to see if you're feeling well enough to go on with our event.
Sorry, guys.
My throat still hurts like crazy.
That's cool.
Sorry, gang.
We've got to postpone the Trojan War reenactment till further notice.
You know, the best part of getting your tonsils out is that you get to eat all the ice cream you want.
Really? Mountains of it! We could have the biggest ice cream sundae ever made! Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today! First, we gotta draw up some plans.
Wait.
No time for that.
You go to Blueprint Heaven, I'll head home and meet the delivery guy.
Hello? Blowtorch City? Yeah, I'll hold.
When are they letting you out of this joint? This afternoon.
Perfect.
We should have just enough time.
So, I'm going out, Vanessa.
Remember, you're at your Dad's this weekend.
Great.
A whole 48 hours of evil.
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, your father is not evil.
We just didn't get along.
We wanted different things.
Was one of those things "to be evil"? Because he's evil.
He's not evil, honey.
No one's evil.
No, Mom.
He's evil.
You don't notice about him? He has evil schemes.
Normal people don't have schemes of any kind.
And there's this secret agent that always bursts in, and-- I think you're being overly dramatic.
Mom, I'm not being dramatic.
Dad builds evil contraptions every day.
Wait.
Let me check on something.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorpora-- Yup.
He's even got his own evil jingle, right on his answering machine.
Listen! Hello? Oh, hello, Heinz.
Dad! Why'd you pick up? You always let the machine get it! Well, I heard it ring the first time, so I was standing right by the phone.
Oh, by the way, could you pick up some blueprints for me on your way over? Thank you, sweetie.
Great.
Now he wants me to pick up some evil blueprints for his latest evil contraption.
And as soon as he's done building it, I'll have proof! I'll call you, and you can see for yourself.
So, you need plans to build a giant ice cream sundae maker, do you? Hmm! I'm not sure we sell blueprints for that anymore.
Whoa! Hold on, sweetie.
No need to get upset.
I'll go check in the back, okay? Okay.
Let's see.
Giant sundae machine.
I got a yogurt machine! How's that sound? Yeah.
I don't care for yogurt either, baby.
I'll keep looking.
You're in luck.
I found one! Now, what do you need, sweetie? I'm here to pick up an order for Doofenshmirtz.
Oh, yes.
Your Daddy just called.
Hey, how's it goin'? Can you bring it back here? Thanks.
That's great.
You're not going to believe it, Stacy.
But when I turned around, Jeremy was standing right behind me.
Well, actually he was sitting, and he was a couple blocks away, but he was right there! Keep it coming! Keep it coming! Okay, stop.
Great.
Stack 'em over here.
Um, Stace? I'm going to have to call you back.
And that's the last of it.
Eh, just need you to sign right here.
Say, aren't you a little young to be using titanium plating and an industrial arc welder? Yes.
Yes, I am.
I get that a lot.
Phineas, you know I'm in charge, right? Well, isn't that just if a satellite crashes into the- No, no, no! When Mom's at her cooking class, I'm in charge.
Now, what are you up to out here? I'd like to tell you, but it's gonna be a big surprise.
Hey, wait a second.
Have you seen Perry? Perry! Sorry to wake you, Agent P.
Looks like Doofenshmirtz is getting sloppy.
He sent his daughter right into our sting operation and purchased blueprints for a Space Laser-inator.
We intend to pass him fake plans, but due to a rookie error, and by "rookie", I mean, Carl.
Sorry.
My bad.
The plans he received are real.
Terrifyingly real.
Again, I must apologize, I was in character-- You better step on it, Agent P.
Before it's too late.
Can you give me a hand unpacking this stuff, Candace? I'm not gonna help you.
But as soon as I figure out what you're up to, I'm calling Mom! Okay.
Say hi for me! Bonjour, class.
Today, we will be making crepes Guilbaud.
Candace, is everything all right? Well, if you don't even know what he's doing, how do you know if it's a problem? Is there something you would like to share with the whole class? Sorry, sir.
Candace, I'll talk to you later, okay? Ugh! I'm keeping an eye on you.
Hey, Ferb.
You got the blueprints? Excellent! Isabella's gonna love it! Perry the Platypus, you-- you're early.
I haven't even started yet.
My- my daughter should be here any minute with the blueprints, though.
Oh, there she is.
Good morning, Vanessa.
You remember Perry the Platypus.
Yeah.
Hi.
Perry the Platypus, why don't you have a seat in my waiting area? Read some magazines! Sorry they're all in Spanish, I-- I steal them from my neighbor.
You know, evil never rests.
So, Dad.
This plan, it's evil, right? Oh, yes.
Yes, it is! It's nice to see you taking an interest in the family business.
That's all I need to know.
I'm in class now, Vanessa.
I have to go.
Mmm-hmm.
Mmm-hmm.
Yes, Vanessa, I'll leave my phone on.
Teenagers.
Ugh.
What are we making this week? I think it is crepes, but you know, I can't understand his accent.
(Song: Busted) I can see the things you're doing And you think that I'm naïve But when I get the goods on you, she'll finally believe She says it's all just drama But every bubble's got to pop She's gonna see just what you're doing And then you're finally gonna have to stop Don't think you're gonna win this time 'Cause you better believe I'm gonna drop a dime on you I'll get ya (Yeah!) I'll get ya (Yeah!) And when I do, you're gonna be busted (Busted!) I don't wanna put the hurt on you But you better believe me when I tell you That I finally got the dirt on you You're busted (Busted!) Yeah, she's finally gonna see the light This is how it's gonna be When she finds out that I was always right You're busted! Oh, Perry the Platypus! It's finally ready! Too bad you can do nothing but watch as I prepare to launch my Space Laser-Inator! Wow, I bet that thing must be really evil, huh? Vanessa, take a look out that window and tell me what you see.
Uh, not much.
Exactly! Ever since that stupid billboard went up, my panoramic view is completely ruined.
I used to have this perfect vantage point for enjoying the delicious misery of others.
Oh, man! Oh, man! You owe $78,000.
Oh, man! But, after I launch this baby into orbit, my problem will be solved! Then, I can go on to eliminate all the other annoyances that make my skin crawl! Like, uh Nature! Beauty! Aw.
Morning talk show hosts! Yeah! Soon, there will be nothing that can withstand the wrath of Dr.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Doctor? Since when are you a doctor? They don't just give these out to anybody, you know.
Anybody with 15 bucks, they do.
That's enough looking! I'd love to debate you, but I have some pressing business to take care of, like remaking the Tri-State Area in my own, twisted image! Oh my gosh! This is worse than I thought! Oh, Dad is going to be so busted.
Busted Now, carefully pour the batter.
Slowly, slowly.
Oh, for Pete's sake! Vanessa? Candace, this better be important.
He's doing what? Honey, are you sure you're not exaggerating just a little bit? Well, it's not that I don't believe you, honey But every time I race home, I find out everything is just fine.
Yes, I'll be right over.
I'm on my way.
Teenagers! Tell me about it.
Now, to launch my creation and begin my reign of terror! Evil terror.
Huh? Ah.
Ugh Well, this can't be right.
Get ready for a giant sundae! Well, this can't be right.
Lemme see those blueprints.
Oh, wait a minute.
Those are the plans for a Space Laser- -inator, apparently.
I was wondering what that thing was for.
That must be the laser.
It's a good thing we didn't attach it, huh? Mom! Mom! Hurry! Come on, come on! Hi, kids.
How are you doing? Huh? We're just about to make a nice handmade sundae for Isabella.
Oh, that is so sweet! Come on in the kitchen.
I'll help you with it.
C-Come on, Mom! Hurry! See?! Evil! I told you! Hmm.
Um, that's not evil, dear.
A bit much, perhaps.
Heinz, what is all this? I thought you were lactose intolerant.
I am! Oh I'm paying you way too much alimony.
And what's over there? That is no way to treat your pet! But Mom, that's a secret agent! A secret agent? He's just a little platypus.
They don't do much, you know.
Wow, guys.
This is amazing! I was afraid you guys were gonna go overboard and build some giant sundae contraption or something! Actually, we were gonna do that, but we accidentally build a space laser instead.
Ferb, you're usually so focused.
How did you get those plans confused? Hey.
How's it goin'? Hey, Ferb.
Snap out of it.
What happened back there? I was weak.
There's a new cop on the beat, and I'm bringin' down the heat My eyes are wise to all your lies, 'cause you're not that discreet And I don't care what you heard 'Cause there's one 6-letter word It's gonna set me free Gonna set me free It starts with a "B" Starts with a "B" Goes "B-U-S-T-E-D", you are busted