Rugrats (2021) s01e15 Episode Script

1
I had a feeling he'd be back.
Don't trust him, Tommy.
He has chin hairs.
Merry Christmas!
He's not wet, is he?
These pants are imported velvet.
So that's Santa Claus.
- There you go.
- Happy Holidays!
Hey, Deed, is everything okay?
- Yes.
- No.
Not really, Betty.
Tomorrow is the first night
of Hanukkah and Christmas Eve.
But none of my online
parenting communities
prepared me for both events
happening on the same night
on Tommy's first holiday!
Complementary cocoa?
You'll be okay, Deed.
You know Christmas.
And you know Hanukkah.
You got this.
And look, Tommy's loving
the whole Santa thing already.
Just hope he doesn't
pull a Phil and snap the beard.
Ho ho ho, who do we have here?
We got another runner!
Why is everyone so a'scared?
He seems like a nice,
Norman grandpa.
There's nothing Norman
about that guy.
They say he sees us
when we're sleeping.
He knows when we're awake.
He even knows where we hided
icky snacks under the couch.
How can one person
see all that stuffs?
Okay, little guy.
Time to say hi to Santa Claus!
Oh, let's hope this goes better
than last year.
- Hello, Mr. Claus.
- This is Chuckie Finster.
He's been a very good boy
all year.
Haven't you, Chuckie?
Come on, pal.
Daddy just wants
a cute picture for Aunt Linda.
Well, you know, Chuckie,
Santa's been watching you.
Now that's a job well done,
Junior Carpenter!
Ugh, well,
our Christmas plans are a bust.
Raccoons took over the cabin.
- No way, do you have pictures?
- You love that place!
All I ever want for Christmas
is a week
completely off the grid.
No internet, no football, no
Final Eclipse Holiday marathon,
which makes for
a good old-fashioned Christmas!
Darn those raccoons!
I like your mama's
frozeded bubbles.
I bet fairies live
inside of 'em!
So that's why
they break so much.
The fairies is trying
to get out!
Holidays are so stressful.
Where is my Elizabeth?
- Tía Esperanza!
- Ay, mija.
Who's that sparkly lady?
- That's our tía.
- She's fun!
'Cept when she does
that thing to our necks.
- Tía!
- Como estás?!
So that's what the kids
are wearing these days.
Want me to get
your usual, Tía?
Ay, mi ángel, gracias.
Elizabeth, you are a beautiful,
strong woman over 30.
It is time.
Time for what?
No!
- Tía, is that
- Claro que sí!
You have finally been
given the honor
of placing the Baby Jesus
in the manger for Las Posadas!
Well, you
and your niñitos también.
And this happens to a family
only once a generation.
Ay, hija,
I had to pull some strings
with the monsignor, you know.
Oh, thanks for the gig, Betty.
Off for some
last-minute shopping.
Well, aren't you a vision
of sugarplums and pleather?
Hola, I'm Esperanza.
I need to do
a little shopping myself.
Well, we may be shopping
in different departments,
but I'll happily escort you.
I'll see you all
tomorrow night on Noche Buena!
- Feliz Navidad!
- Nice seeing you, Esperanza!
- Bye!
- Feliz Navidad!
You gotta keep him
at your house.
It's way safer.
Happens every year, sprouts.
Somehow, these screws get rusted
and need to be wrestled out.
Gotta get the angel for the top.
Hello, Mrs. Pickles!
Wishing you season's greetings
from the world's largest
corporate giant right down
to your humble little family!
They make us say that.
Camera monitor.
- Thank you anyway, Daxton.
- Come in.
- Hey, Dax.
- Cookie?
- Cool, thanks.
- Uh, snowflake?
Star of David.
See the six points?
Where's he getting snowflake?
Tommy's first
Hanukkah menorah.
- Uh, I better get back.
- Duffy delivery never rests!
They make us say that, too.
Okay, happy holidays.
Bye!
Is it someone's birthday?
No, this is for
a Jewish holiday.
My mama's friend at work
told me about it.
And then she gave me
pretend coins
that are chocolate inside!
Maybe the holidays
aren't scary after all.
You even gots a new potty!
I don't think that's a potty.
That's how you catch
the Christmas bears.
- Christmas bears!
- Is that a thing?
Oh, once again, you babies
don't know anything
about everything,
and you want me
to 'splain it all.
Well, just the part
about Santa watching us
and the Christmas bears.
You're in luck.
This candy cane
put me in a chatty mood.
First, there's no such thing
as Christmas bears!
Just reindeer.
And you gotta leave 'em carrots
'cause they get hungry
after flying Santa's sleigh.
But what if a bunny comes
and eats the carrots
a'fore the reindeer?
And then the bunny
gets eated by the bear?
There is no bear and no bunny!
You really don't know
the ABC's of Christmas, do you?
- I know a few letters.
- I want a bear.
- Some of it.
- Not really.
No bunny?
This round thingie is where
a great big tree goes
that gets lights and shiny balls
that break
when no one's looking.
Then Santa comes
and gives presents to kids
who were really good all year
and did nothing bad.
Just like me!
Any questions,
my dear cousin and his friends
who I love so much?
Hope you saw that, Santa.
Just one question, Angelica.
When do people get to light
those candles?
- Boris!
- Minka!
Is there a latke in the house?
Because I've got
a bad case of potatoes!
Borry, the babies!
Oh, oh, Tommelah!
Oh, oh, come here.
Tommy Pickles!
And Tommelah's little friends!
We brought Hanukkah gifts
for all of you, too!
- Thank you, nice Grandma Lady!
- I'm Tommy's cousin,
which means I'm extra nice
to him and all the babies.
So you might wanna put in
a good word about me to Santa.
And what makes you think
we know Santa?
Don't all old people
know each other?
- Where is my little girl?
- There she is!
Boris, let me in!
Didi, I hope you picked up
the sour cream.
And not the low-fat kind.
Sweetie,
low-fat sour cream is fine.
No one will notice it next
to your homemade applesauce.
Oh, shouldn't have
opened my mouth.
- It's not that, Mom.
- I'm a bit overwhelmed,
what with our family traditions,
and Stu's family traditions.
All I want is for Tommy's
first holiday to be special.
Oh, and it will be.
Even with
store-bought applesauce.
- Oh, hey, Boris, Minka.
- Happy Hanukkah!
Haven't seen you two
since the bris.
You carry an axe
around the bubbelahs?
- Oh, this isn't just any axe.
- This is Faithful Sal.
Belonged to my grandfather.
This baby has cut down
every Pickles Christmas tree
since 1925.
Speaking of which,
let's roll, boys.
Gotta get the tree up tonight.
Excuse me, tonight?
Don't people put up their
trees weeks before Christmas?
It's a Pickles
family tradition.
The tree goes up
on Christmas Eve.
See y'all later.
Can the lumberjacks at least
be back before sundown?
- Get Chas.
- I'll be right there!
Hanukkah cookie?
Oh, I thought that
was a snowflake.
Am I the only
one not seeing it?
Like I was saying,
after Santa has left tons
of toys under the tree,
he goes back up the chimney
and gets in his sleigh.
What if a house
doesn't have a chimney?
Santa just chops
through the roof with an axe.
The same axe he uses
to fight off zombie-deers.
Is that true, Angelica?
There's no I mean, yup,
Phil's right.
Giant flying zombie-deers!
What're you doing, Chuckie?
Hiding till Christmas is over!
If Santa's watching,
we might as well kiss that
Glitterglamper Van goodbye.
But it was totally worth it.
Hey, bubs.
Ugh, hi, Chuckie.
Deed!
Good job hiding the
you-know-what you-know-where!
- You guys!
- There's a dolly in there.
And it was looking
at me kind of funny.
Aunt Didi has a doll
in the closet?
It comes with its own holder!
This must be
a really fancy doll!
He's beautiful!
And I don't usually like babies.
Hi, Uncle Stu!
I wasn't looking for presents
in the closet or nothing.
I hope not.
You wouldn't want to ruin
Aunt Didi's surprise.
Bye, kids!
Hear that?
Uncle Stu just said this is
my present from Aunt Didi!
That's not what
I heard him say.
'Cause it's a surprise,
Susie Carmichael.
He can't say it's my present.
Aunt Didi is gonna give me
this growed-up fancy doll
because I'm a big girl now.
Angelica,
can you be a big girl
and hand out these donuts
to the babies?
Of course, Aunt Didi!
One for now.
One for later.
Tommy, do you still wanna know
what the holidays are all about?
Yes please.
They're about doing something
nice for other peoples.
And when you do something good
for someone else,
good stuff happens to you.
- Really?
- Well, that's what they say.
I know.
Let's see if it's true.
I want that doll in
Aunt Didi's closet.
I would get it myself,
but Santa's watching me,
on account a I'm a big kid.
He's not paying attention
to a bunch of drooly babies.
So you need to get it for me.
Good stuffs will happen.
Promise.
- Aw, gee, Lou.
- A little warning please!
I was mid-chorus.
Now my fa-la balance is off!
Uh, Pop, you sure
this is the spot?
This doesn't look familiar.
I've been coming to
this exact spot
for the past 55 years.
Does anyone else
fear frostbite?
As you all know,
I only have nine toes.
Pop, promise it won't take
four hours like last year.
The trees need to speak to me.
And last year they were
giving me the silent treatment.
Hey, hon.
Darling, checking to
make sure you're all right!
You know I worry about you
off in the wilderness on
this yearly primitive ritual
with your father and brother.
- Don't worry, Charlotte.
- I'm here too!
- Hello, Chas.
- Such a comfort.
Drew, if things go south,
promise you won't boil
your good loafers for food.
You're better than that.
Oh, honey, don't worry.
- Drew? Drew?
- Drew?
We'll pick it up
on the way out.
Drew! Drew!
One of these days
he's gonna snap.
Drew! Drew?
It's been my worst fear
for the past 15 Christmases.
Who is this dolly, anyway?
I dunno, but his diapie
looks a little tight.
- Hurry, Tommy.
- She's coming!
Don't forget the seatbelt!
You did good, babies.
Now don't bother me.
I'm gonna play
with my fancy new dolly.
- Did you hear that?
- This tree just spoke to us.
You sure that's not the wind
whistling through my pants?
This noble guardian
has offered himself.
You ready, boys?
We thank this tree
for all that it has given us
and vow to plant five more
in spring.
Farewell, oh, mighty fir!
Who wants to take
the first swing?
- Uh-uh, not me.
- Oh, please.
- No way.
- You first, Dad.
Can I wait in the car?
My back!
- Needs more onions.
- Do I say something?
- No.
- This is Didi's brisket.
Just slip some in.
- Lucy, Randy, Chas, me.
- Not counting the kids,
there's gonna be
how many of us for dinner?
11 we'll put the kids
in their highchairs.
If they can stay awake
that late!
What is this thing
that we're going to again?
Dad, "this thing"
is called Las Posadas.
And it's very important
to Betty.
You only get asked once
in your lifetime
to place
the Baby Jesus in the manger.
But why did it
have to be this year?
Betty, don't get me wrong.
We love you like a daughter
Boris, let me.
Betty, we love you
like a daughter.
- I just said that!
- I love you too.
I think you'll enjoy
Las Posadas.
And there's a donkey
in the procession.
Dad, you love donkeys!
- Actually, it's a pony.
- The priest's brother owns one.
- Did you hear that, Minka?
- A live pony-donkey!
This I gotta see.
We just want to make sure
Tommelah gets to see
his Zayde light the menorah
on the first night of Hanukkah.
He will,
just later than usual.
After Betty and the twins place
the Baby Jesus in the manger,
and my father-in-law
puts up his Christmas tree,
and we've had our brisket,
which does not need more onions
because Stu does
not like onions,
then Dad will light the menorah
and say the blessing.
It may not be
our usual family tradition,
but Betty is my family,
and so is Lou
and all our friends,
and I think no, I know.
This is what I want
for Tommy's first holiday.
Tommy is such a lucky boy
to have you as his mommy.
And it's your family traditions
you need to think about now,
not anybody else's.
No, yours and Stu's.
Tommy's.
Thank you, Dad.
I'm really happy
you and Mom are here.
We should start packing up.
We're meeting Randy
and Lucy soon.
So when were you gonna tell me
your husband
doesn't like onions?
Sorry to interrupt,
but did anyone move
the Baby Jesus
that was in the closet?
Much better!
It even matches your eyes!
- It was in the closet earlier.
- I saw it, I saw it there.
- Where would Baby Jesus be?
- I saw it with my own eyes.
Phillip, I think
they're looking for the donuts.
I only took what I needed,
Lillian.
We gotta go or we'll be late.
But, Betty, what about
Right now,
I'm hoping for a miracle.
Everyone grab a kid.
Let's bounce.
There you are, Angelica!
I wasn't doing anything.
- Of course not, sweetie.
- Get your coat.
We have to go.
- Wait.
- The Baby Jesus is missing?
It's gotta be a mistake,
right?
Like, Stu thought it was
a present and wrapped it,
or or Lou threw it in the back
of the car with the axe.
None of the guys are
answering their phones.
Let's hope they haven't
come upon the Christmas bears.
- Really, Randy?
- The bears again?
Believe.
Whatever you do,
just don't say anything
about you-know-what
in front of you-know-who.
That is, my aunt.
Who is here!
- Hola, Tía!
- Ay, querida!
You made it!
Finally, I can exhale!
You had me so worried.
Hurry, it's already begun.
You should tell her.
Lucy's right.
Ye of little faith.
The pilgrims are
the voice of Joseph and Mary
who traveled from one inn to
another, looking for shelter.
Joseph sings,
"My wife is expecting a child.
She must have shelter tonight.
Let us in!"
But the inns were full,
or the innkeepers were
distrustful of Joseph and Mary.
And so they continued on.
Why can't that lady and man
go inside?
Maybe it's 'cause horsies
aren't allowed in the house?
Betty, I know
where this story goes.
We're running out of time.
You need to tell her.
Fine, I'll tell her
that I hid the Baby Jesus
in your closet
and now he's missing.
Just stand close enough
to catch her when she faints.
Hey, that's where we tooked
that doll for you, Angelica!
Well, how was I opposed
to know it was Aunt Betty's!
Oh, we never
should've tooked him.
Just remember, you all helped.
So we'll all get in trouble
if we just give it back.
And then Santa won't bring
any presents for any of us!
We're gonna have to put it
where it belongs
before anyone finds out.
I think it goes in
that wooden crib with the hay
and that funny-looking sheep.
Okay, follow me.
Hurry, Tommy,
a'fore the growed-ups see us.
There's your mommy, Angelica!
Quick, this way!
Goodbye, fancy big-girl doll.
Angelica?
It's Gabi!
Hey, Angelica.
What are you doing here
all by yourself?
Oh, my mommy's
right over there.
Help me up.
Uh, nice doggy.
Very big doggy!
- Oh, no, you guys.
- Tommy's getting eated!
Elizabeth, mija.
It is time to place
the Baby Jesus in the manger.
Tía,
I have something to tell you
for which
you may never forgive me.
Where are the bubbelahs!?
- Tommy!
- Chuckie!
- Susie!
- Pups!
But they were just here!
This dolly isn't yours!
You can't have it.
Get outta here, you dumb goat!
You okay, Tommy?
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Angelica.
Well, I owed you one
for being such a good cousin
and helping me
in the first place.
Ahh! Oh, Tommy!
Phil! Lil!
- Here we are.
- All this running.
Are we on a track team?
- Boris, how you doing?
- With a goat?
Betty.
I can't believe it.
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿Qué?
Uh, that our Familia
finally got the honor
of being a part
of this tradition.
Muchisimas gracias,
Tía Esperanza.
Gets me every time, Lou.
Such a charming pastiche.
- Very nice.
- Is anybody else crying?
- Hear, hear.
- Oh, Pop, aww.
Dad, thank you
for making Tommy's
first Hanukkah so special.
Hey, come on, buddy.
These candles will burn
not just to remember
the light in the temple,
but to remind us
of what we don't know.
They light our darkness,
allow us to see things
we could not see before.
And, thanks to my grandson,
I have seen something old
in a new light.
It reminds me that no matter
what our religion,
no matter our color,
no matter who we choose
to be our partners,
the one common thread
that we all share
is the need for love
and respect.
So let's never let
the light of love stop burning.
- Guys?
- Maybe Angelica was right.
Tommy, I think
you've had enough chocolate.
She said the ABDs of holidays
is that alls you has to do
is be nice
and good stuffs will happen.
Just like all of us
being together right now!
Wow, Tommy.
Yep, way too much chocolate.
Anybody wanna share
the last donut?