Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983) s01e15 Episode Script
The Mole
Hurry.
They're coming.
Burn the papers.
The code, Viktor.
Quickly.
First the code, then the cables.
They must not be found.
- You're armed? - I am, Viktor.
VIKTOR: Then you know what to do.
Come.
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
LEE: All right.
Ronnie, take the garage and elevator.
Francine, stairwell.
Come on, Davey.
[GUN COCKS.]
- Scarecrow, Nightlight? - Scarecrow.
- Stairwell secured.
- Check.
- Go, are you reading? - Go here, Scarecrow.
- Garage secure.
- Check.
Scarecrow and Nightlight moving in.
You have any idea how to say "freeze" in Bulgarian? Not a clue.
One two, three.
All right.
Hold it! [SPEAKING IN BULGARIAN.]
That's the wrong guy, Davey.
That's not Viktor.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
All I'm saying is, it's not the total end of the world.
A busted play, it happens.
It's more than that, Ronnie.
We know it.
- Yeah, it happens, Ronnie.
- Not three times.
Not in our section.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: The weather for the D.
C.
Area is generally pretty nice.
We may have some snow later on in the week.
Coming in from the Great Lakes area.
On a serious note, the budget was BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
You may respond.
We're on a secure frequency, Scarecrow.
What happened to Viktor Ignatiev? [SIGHS.]
I gather from your silence that the mission was once again a failure.
Uh, yes, sir, uh Ahem.
He was He was gone.
BLUE LEADER: Scarecrow, again, for the third time a man comes in and out of this country illegally.
Seemingly at will.
The first time we missed him, he was leaving with the Godiva papers.
And then, last year, when he got by us again, it was with the Danzig formula.
The man is a peril to national security.
You realize that he gives his best information directly to the Politburo.
Yes, sir, yes, sir, I know that, but But nailing him is trying to catch a handful of smoke.
Scarecrow, what we have here is not a series of accidents.
We have a traitor, a mole.
We must find that person.
More specifically, you must find that person.
Pardon me, sir, but I think short-circuiting Billy Melrose would be Let me make it clear.
Everyone in Field Section is suspect.
Scarecrow, you are the only one who was not a party to the two former attempts to stop Viktor.
In the Mideast in '81, Norway in '83.
Blue Leader, excuse me, but I don't think I am your man.
Internal investigation's just not my thing.
It is precisely your thing.
You're the leader of a failed mission.
I expect you to redeem yourself.
Blue Leader out.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: This is Crazy Larry, out here in the Washington, D.
C.
Area FRANCINE: So you say Billy was a little ticked this morning.
I was not ducking that meeting.
I had all those cables from Cuba station to get up to Crypto.
Yeah, right, and I'm Pope Leo.
Look, I have really had it with this whole Bulgarian number, okay? Now, the next guy that mentions Viktor or what Billy said is gonna be wearing this bowl of chili, you got it? Hey, your way, babe.
You're right.
I'm leaving.
Watch my feet, see? Definite movement here.
Get out of here.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
I've been calling the agency, trying to find you.
Finally, Mr.
Melrose suggested that you might be here.
- What? - I've got the film.
- The film? - Yes.
Remember when you had to do that surveillance job it was such a rushed-up thing and you asked if you could borrow my station wagon because your car was so conspicuous? Well, you left your film in it.
Philip found it.
He was playing with it, but lucky for us Mother saw him before school and she asked him what he was doing, so - [WHISPERS.]
Here it is.
- Amanda.
Ahem.
This film This film is a roll of test stuff that I ran through the camera to see if the take-up roll was working okay after they fixed it.
- Oh.
- Uh-huh.
BENSON: Now, no prompting.
It was Paris, spring of '81, or Athens, '82.
You were wearing your bright red dress.
I guess it was just last week at the plain, old agency.
You were standing next to plain, old Lee Stetson.
- Heh, plain, old Lee.
- Mrs.
King, I do believe.
David Benson, your eternal servant.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
You have a very good memory.
- No, just great taste.
- No, just great taste.
Uh, Davey, isn't your ice melting over there? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you two had anything personal Hold it, there's nothing personal between Amanda and me.
That's right, it's, uh, business, just business.
Right.
It's just business.
All right.
Since I don't wanna rush things what do you say to lunch? We can talk about dinner.
Ha, ha.
Just hold it.
I don't think any of us should be making any plans, not just now.
You're talking about the Viktor thing.
You wanna hear my slant on Viktor? Hold it.
Amanda is not involved.
Excuse me, what does that mean? - There's gonna be an internal - Excuse me.
I don't mean to be prying [WHISPERS.]
Someone near and dear to us is gonna draw the short straw and the duty.
Informer.
It's gotta be the crumb job of all time, right? Right.
Real crumb job.
Heh.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Shall we? What we should be concerned about is that everything that Viktor learns is pipelined right to Moscow.
- We know, Billy.
What can we say after we said we're sorry? - We're as shook up as you are.
- Well You're about to be a little more shook up.
I want reports on the Viktor operation.
I don't mean the kind of garbage that you people hand in that are supposed to pass for expense vouchers.
I mean "report" report.
Oh, no.
And I want them all the way back to '81, and I want them complete.
Neatness and originality to count for 50 percent? Stow it, Benson.
I've got a slot open in Finland next December.
Keep that in mind in case you get a good deal on snow tires.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
I want them typed so that I can read them and I want them fast.
You have till next Friday.
Mr.
Melrose.
I don't think I need remind you that I have nine days, six hours and, uh, 20 minutes remaining on my service to this agency.
Not to speak of which I haven't been asked to leave my desk for the past six months.
Do I consider myself exempt from your little essay? No exemptions, Humbug.
Oh, well, now, fine.
Fine, fine.
Mine may be a bit long and rambling.
Uh, senility does that, you know but it will nevertheless be a sharp and penetrating look on the whole business.
A view from behind the desk, so to speak.
Toward the water cooler, the men's room.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Swell.
That's right, just keep up the laughing.
Because that's what the East Bloc countries are doing right now.
At you.
Hang in a moment.
Scarecrow, I am particularly interested in your report.
Uh, you're new on this one.
Maybe you'll have a different slant on this one.
It could be important.
To tell the truth, I'm about this far from a phone call from Blue Leader and we both know how heavy that can be, don't we? Oh.
- Blue Leader? - Never mind, forget it.
Since when does a top man talk to field agents? [CHUCKLES.]
You heard me tell the others they've got till Friday to get their reports in.
I want yours by Wednesday.
- Wednesday? - You got it.
Come on, Billy.
And since I've seen your typing, I think you need to look for some help.
And not from the steno pool.
We need someone with a grade-10 security certification.
Oh, sure, and a small miracle.
So happens I might have one for you.
How's 90 words a minute and security clearance, for openers? [GRO ANS.]
LEE: Billy suggested you.
- You do type 90 words a minute? AMANDA: Yes.
Ninety words a minute, if you don't count mistakes.
- Billy's idea, huh? - Billy's idea, all the way.
Well, that's just fine.
Just please thank him for me.
I will do.
Boy, this guy looks like he came in second in a Godzilla movie.
Yeah, or they had a very poor school lunch program in those days.
[LEE LAUGHS.]
Oh, there's an interesting one over here.
- Uh AMANDA: Now, look at this.
The saber-toothed tiger probably ambushed larger, slower animals Amanda.
- Such as ground sloths Amanda, let's skip the tour, huh? There's something I wanna talk about.
Oh, you don't like the saber-toothed tiger either, huh? To tell you the truth, not at all.
I'm not into overbite.
- That's not why I brought you here.
- No.
Not for the dinosaurs either.
No, not the dinosaurs either.
It's a mole.
Amanda, it looks like No, wait.
I know what a mole looks like.
We had one in our garden.
It ate the carrots.
- Amanda - I understand.
- It ate the carrots from underground.
- I don't think you do.
All the leafy stalks stood up and everything looked healthy and pretty.
But when you tried to pick a carrot, you could grab the stalk, pull it up there was no carrot on the bottom - Whoa, Amanda.
It's another kind of mole, all right? - All right.
- This kind is a traitor.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Someone who's working from inside, a spy in the agency.
That's a lot worse.
- Yeah, a lot.
- Yeah.
Someone's been tipping off this Bulgarian agent named Viktor every time we're about to drop the net on him.
So my boss, Blue Leader, has dropped the whole investigation into my lap.
Ooh.
That's a lot of responsibility.
He must have a great deal of confidence in you.
Oh, ho.
Yeah, it's a great honor.
So since I'm going to be digging into the lives of everyone in the field unit I need someone that I can absolutely trust to help me.
- Do you mean me? - Mm-hm.
I mean you.
- Oh, it was Billy's idea.
- Nope.
- No? - Mine.
- Yours? - Mm-hm.
Oh, ha, well.
Look.
You are the only one outside of the agency that has a grade-10 security clearance.
Oh.
These, um, other agents.
- Aren't they friends of yours? - Ha, ha.
Until they find out we're digging into their bank statements their income-tax filings, doctors' reports, all sorts of that good stuff.
Is this the crumb job you and David were talking about? LEE: Yeah.
Look, we can't tell anybody about this.
AMANDA: Why not? - Everyone is suspect.
AMANDA: Even Mr.
Melrose? - For one, yeah.
AMANDA: Oh.
He's been using that payphone around the corner.
A lot of outside calls to somebody.
Francine's been skipping meetings and acting weird and Humbug's a very, very bitter man.
- And David Benson's a suspect.
- You got it.
I have a date with a suspect.
Ugh.
How am I gonna get out of it? - Well, you, uh, sure you want to? - What? I thought you bought that line of his all the way.
You thought what? Was it Paris in the springtime, or was it Athens? - You were wearing red.
- Oh, really.
All that stuff that women go for.
"Go for"? He asked me to lunch.
It was a simple lunch invitation, that's all.
You're making it sound Hey, you wanna go out with a guy that's got more scalps on his belt than Geronimo, be my guest.
If you didn't want me to go, all you had to do was say, "No, don't go.
" Sure, and sound like I was j - Look, Amanda.
- Hmm? Heh.
What I am trying to say is we're not, you know, emotionally involved.
- I know that.
- Or anything like that.
Well, of course not.
I think I should go out with him.
I should use it as a fact-finding survey.
I mean I really think I can probably find out much more about him by talking to him than looking at his bank statements.
I suppose.
So, what should I do? Heh, it's your own personal time.
Is it a yes or a no? - Ugh, yeah.
Well - Yeah, well, I think I will.
- All right.
- I'm going on a date with David Benson.
- Terrific.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
Right.
- Heh, terrific.
- Good, I'm happy.
- Fine.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good.
But it was your decision.
Oh, that's gorgeous.
- Is it new? - About six months.
Just after the divorce.
Any sooner, it would now be parked outside 221 Orchard Street, Apartment 2, Arlington, Virginia.
Ah.
Leave us not cry over spilled marriage.
What food would you like? Polynesian? French? Italian, Afghan, Swedish? You don't have some place already picked out? I thought you did when you told me that I should dress for dinner.
No.
Leave us not consider expense for expense is no trouble to the truly creative.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
All right.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES.]
- Are you in? - Yes.
BENSON: Or the lemon soufflé, or chocolate mousse? [AMANDA AND BENSON CHUCKLE.]
- I can recommend the baked Alaska.
- No.
Ha, ha.
Or get Marcel to whip up some crepes if you like.
No, ha, ha, thank you.
Good evening.
- Apres- vous, mademoiselle.
- Thank you.
- Did you recognize the senator? - Senator, where? You just passed him.
- Oh, the man that smiled at you? - Oh, you smile, they smile back.
- Everybody thinks you belong.
- Ha, ha.
- Sure you don't want some dessert? - I couldn't.
- Good evening.
Evening.
Lovely party.
- Thank you.
- Why don't we have a drink? - All right, ha, ha.
Not used to the fast track, huh? Well, not this fast.
I mean, I'm more the, uh, PTA, lunch and potluck-at-the-church type.
I warned you.
Yeah, you warned me, Amanda, but it was a little late.
I was already, uh, zapped.
- Zapped? - Zapped.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, uh, ha, ha, what did you mean when you said you just smile and then everybody thinks you belong? Don't you belong? - Me? - Mm-hm.
Amanda, I'm an agency type.
We don't get invited to these things.
What I do is I check with the caterers.
I know most of them.
Find out where the parties are going who's hosting, then I pick one.
- And it works? - Always.
- Do you do this every night? - Ha.
No.
A couple of nights a week, I'll get something at the Steak o'Bob.
Or I'll put a TV dinner in the microwave.
What an agent pulls down in salary per month you kind of learn to live on the cheap.
There.
You know all my secrets.
I hope I haven't blown my image.
Hmm.
No.
Really, no, you haven't.
Heh.
BILLY: So I want it stopped.
There are enough rumors going on around here as it is, without - Without - Without adding grist to the mill.
Without adding grist to the mill.
Now, nobody is being transferred, nobody is being fired and as far as I know, nobody is being investigated.
So let's just stop this - This - Paranoia.
Right.
Paranoia.
Okay.
Let's get back to those reports.
[AGENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Hello, sir.
- Are you doing, uh, Scarecrow's report? - Uh, well, you could - Good.
- On my desk, 5:00.
- Yes, sir.
[SIGHS.]
- Oh, my typing? - Uh, yes.
LEE: Don't act so mysterious.
AMANDA: I'm trying not to, but I feel a little funny.
Mr.
Melrose is the head of Field Section, and he asked me a direct question.
- Although I didn't really lie to him - What are these? The bank statements you asked me to check.
- I feel strange about all this - What bank statements? Um, the man you called "Go.
" - Quan, Ronnie Quan.
- Right.
- Forty thousand - Shh.
[WHISPERS.]
That's one deposit.
I've gotta get to Ronnie right away.
Please don't turn around, Mr.
Quan.
You the guy who phoned with the tip on the Bulgarian thing? Even better.
[SILENCED GUNSHOT.]
LEE: What the hell was Ronnie doing at a riding arena? I mean, what got him there, who called him? It had to be Viktor.
I'm telling you, it had to be.
But why did Ronnie go alone? I mean, that's basic, isn't it? You learn that rule your first week on service.
- And break it regularly thereafter.
- It had to be somebody he trusted.
Go wouldn't have put himself out on a limb unless he trusted the guy.
Or girl, uh Present company excepted, of course.
Why? I mean, you haven't been around that much lately, Francine.
- What's a fella to think? - You think I did it? - You actually think I killed Ronnie Quan? - No.
He didn't mean it, Francine.
Well, he said it.
You don't say something unless you mean it.
I gotta split, Lee.
This hit pretty close.
Go was my partner and it could have been me.
Let's stop taking shots at each other, okay? I'm sorry, Francine.
Lee, the rest of us feel the same way you do.
- Yeah.
BENSON: We'll get Viktor.
I know we will.
Good night, Reilly.
[FRANCINE SIGHS.]
I really was busy when Billy had those meetings.
They dropped a whole load of cable traffic on me for the Rio station.
Why don't you go home and get some rest, huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
Lots of luck.
See you two tomorrow.
Uh, him you'll see tomorrow.
The government would like you to know that among the aged there are no guarantees.
This retirement thing is really getting to you, isn't it? Compulsory retirement.
Ranks right up there with compulsory suicide.
Lee, how did your meeting go with Blue Leader? [CHUCKLES.]
- What? - Son, I've been in intelligence for over 40 years.
I've seen moles before.
Oh, hell, I've caught moles before.
I know the drill.
Uh, I watched you when Francine mentioned, uh, "cable traffic" and "Rio.
" Unless my memory's fading entirely the excuse she trotted around the shop about her mysterious absence had to do with - Cuba station.
Not Rio.
- Yeah.
- You caught that.
- Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
I'm going on 65.
Not 105.
Oh, you would be Blue Leader's boy.
Who else in this outfit is absolutely clean about the Viktor business? Blue Leader mention me, did he? - Walter, I've got things to do.
- I'm not finished talking yet.
LEE: It's the booze talking, Walter.
Now, wait a minute.
I trained you, Lee.
I taught you the business.
You owe me an answer.
- Walter, you taught me.
- Right.
You taught me pretty good.
And if I were working for Blue Leader, how do you think you'd come out, huh? - I don't know.
- You're a pretty hot prospect.
REILLY: Uh-huh.
The top candidate for an approach by an East Bloc country.
REILLY: Uh-huh.
You're mad and don't care who knows it.
- No.
- Your code name is Humbug and believe me, you've earned it.
Heh.
- You've done nothing but grouse and gripe.
- Right.
The thing that is burning you is that now you'll be home growing your roses and reading the news not making the news anymore.
Why wouldn't Blue Leader have you with the contenders for mole? - Will I get to answer that? - No, no, I'm gonna answer that.
He wouldn't figure it because old Humbug the griping gardener, has one favorite flower.
- What's that? - The American Beauty rose.
[ELEVATOR BEEPS.]
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
Walter, you are a patriot, simple as that.
If you have taught me one thing, it's loyalty to this agency.
Sorry, Humbug.
As a mole, you just wouldn't cut it.
[ELEVATOR BEEPS.]
Think you're pretty smart, don't you, Scarecrow? Oh, I taught him too damn well.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
DOTTY: Head down, you see? And then you keep your left arm real straight.
Mother, I'm not really sure, but I think that you're talking about golf.
You know, with the Oh, maybe so.
Let me think now.
- They have a coach, Grandma.
- Oh, they do? Well, then just mind your coach, sweetie.
Okay.
Hey, I gotta go.
See you, bye.
DOTTY: Good luck, sweetheart.
Get them.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I'll go check the mothers' bake booth and see if they can use a hand.
Hurry up.
Philip bats cleanup.
Cleanup.
They have you batting according to cleanliness and neatness.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
Save me a seat in the bleachers.
My phone? There's nothing wrong with my phone, why? I happened to see you downstairs when I came in and you were on a payphone and Phew, agents.
Does everything have to have some meaning? Listen, you wanna know the truth? I was talking to a buddy who's well connected upstairs.
Now, he's trying to find out for me if there's gonna be an internal on this Viktor thing.
You want something, Francine? You were saying something about me, weren't you? - You? - Oh, come on, please don't lie to me.
I know the talk, I hear the whispers.
- Francine, you - Nobody has to draw me any pictures.
You don't trust me.
We weren't talking about you.
Why don't you just be man enough, just come on out and admit it? Admit it.
All right, I am a suspect.
I'm a suspect.
Oh.
Okay, I'm going home now, all right? Because I hate this in public, I hate this.
And, Lee, you have a phone call.
Oh.
It's weird.
And it's getting weirder and weirder.
Go take your phone call.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Hi, Mrs.
Scott.
Why don't you go let me take over for a few minutes? LEE: Hi.
- Hi.
I wasn't sure whether you wanted me to keep on, after what happened to Ronnie.
I want you to keep on.
That's why I came.
- Okay, good.
- Ahem.
Would you mind putting this on? - This is a baseball cap.
- Yes, I know.
Most of the Bomber fathers wear them.
Bomber's fathers? No.
Amanda, I am sorry, I pass.
I am not, nor do I ever intend to be a Bomber father.
Do you think you could loosen your tie a little bit? - You look a little stuffy.
- My tie? I'll tell you, you need something to eat.
So why don't you try a nice brownie? Mrs.
Scott makes them.
Seventy-five cents, please.
Is this why you brought me out here, huh? To have me chip my tooth on one of Mrs.
Scott's brownies? Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't want you to think that I don't trust David.
- Hmm.
- Not for a minute.
But um - Uh, Amanda, what have you got? - All right.
I have been checking into the bank statements and the tax returns like you told me to, and I think maybe I found something strange.
Strange, how? About six months ago David started making out checks to Monica Benson, right? - Uh-huh.
- I assume they have to be alimony checks because they had no children.
Boy, that's sad.
Children can really make the difference - Checks, you were mentioning checks.
- Right.
Sorry, the checks.
- The first check was on June 1 st, you see? - Yeah.
Second check, July 6th, right? The third check, August 14.
- Do you see the pattern here? - I see it, I see it, and? And then they stop.
Did you hear me? I said they stop.
I heard you.
The payments stop.
So what? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[SHOUTING.]
Amanda, did you see it? AMANDA: No, Mother.
- He did it! He did it! He got a hit! Wonderful! I'll be right there.
- You don't have to watch - I'll just put the money out.
- I'll be right over there! - I'll be right [DOTTY YELLING.]
Lee? Lee.
- Anybody actually eat these things? - Of course they do.
Would you get around here? Come on.
It'll look funny.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Here you are, sir.
Try one of these.
Have you ever heard of anybody paying alimony for only three months and then not being required to pay it any longer? - No, but, uh - Neither have I.
I mean, I take child support.
I never took alimony.
But, uh, anyway, it seems strange to me.
- So I checked out his 1040, his tax return.
- Amanda.
I'm getting to it.
I'm getting to it.
Even after he stopped paying the alimony he continued to take a full tax credit for the entire amount over and over and over and over again.
Now, don't you think that's pretty strange? Yeah, that is pretty strange.
Unless Unless he was paying her in cash.
But if he was paying her in cash, why? - And where did it come from? - Exactly.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Go, Philip! Slide.
Slide, Philip! Slide.
Attaboy! Look at him! You see? That was wonderful! Yes, good boy, Philip.
Sure, it was wonderful.
I just dropped this brownie on my toe.
I think it's broken.
The brownie is just fine.
I'm sorry, is there anything I can do? Well, it's funny you asked.
Yes, there is something you can do but you're gonna need identification.
One of those badge things people wear when they come to your door? - Badge things? - Yeah.
AMANDA: Mrs.
Benson? Mrs.
Monica Benson? What's that badge say again? It says "United States Bureau of the Census Department of Marital Relations.
" As you can see right there.
It also says it on the top of my sheet.
- You see? - Got another department? That's government for you.
Now, your name is Monica Benson, right? I don't have to answer any questions.
No.
No, you don't have to answer these questions but these are the questions of the United States government.
If you don't answer them for me you'll just have to answer them for my superior or my superior's superior - Monica Benson.
- Good.
Now, are you divorced, married or single? Divorced.
Definitely divorced.
Uh, look, is this going to take long? Because, uh, I just got off the courts and I think I have a compound fracture of both arches.
It won't take long.
Maybe, uh, you know, 10 minutes.
- Well, 10 minutes is long.
- It's my job.
I'm just doing my job.
Well, all right.
Come on into the living room.
If I'm gonna be interrogated, I might as well do it under my own lamp.
Yes, that's what I always say.
She called a couple of minutes before I phoned you.
She was steamed, let me tell you.
VIKTOR: Then let's be calm about this, shall we? How do you know the woman was with the agency? Because I checked.
There is no Department of Marital Relations.
She's an agent.
Monica bought the whole story.
She told her everything.
If she believed the woman, why did she call you? Because the woman got her in some idiot conversation about taxes.
The difference between alimony and child support and who pays taxes on what.
Monica called to tell me how ticked she was.
I forgot to tell her she owed taxes.
That's when I found out about the woman.
And what am I to do about it? You're asking me what to do? There's an internal investigation going on, Viktor.
They're about to drop the net on me and you're asking me what I expect you to do? I asked because I hope you don't expect me to take care of anyone else, David.
Your Oriental partner was the last.
You came to me, told me he was beginning to put pieces together.
I did you a favor.
No more.
I've carried you, helped you support your ridiculous lifestyle but you have become too expensive.
Even for us.
I just want you to get him off my back.
If not you, then someone else.
Just do it.
- "He.
" Who is "he"? - Lee Stetson.
Scarecrow.
- You're certain it is Scarecrow? - Yes.
I'm sure.
Then you have your answer.
- Me.
- I won't be here.
I have the information I came for.
I will be on the 4:00 flight for Paris tomorrow afternoon.
I'm afraid it is your problem now.
BILLY: Once you get it typed, shoot it right back to me.
- Sir? Have you seen Lee? - Is that his report? It's due at 5:00.
- Uh, yes, I wanna give it to him to check.
- I'll check it for him.
No, sir, he'd be very angry with me if he didn't check it before you saw it.
Fine.
Fine.
He's down at Ned's.
Get him to check it, then get it up here.
Yes, sir, I'll do that.
But I never fall apart like that.
I mean, it's just not like me.
And so I thought I'd tell you why.
How come, if it's none of my business? How come? Because you're my friend.
I should have told you something before, but I was too upset.
My mother had surgery.
I'm sorry.
Major surgery.
[SIGHS.]
- That's some pretty heavy stuff, huh? - Heh.
Heavy? You wanna hear heavy? I mean, here I am with a gun in my hand, chasing after Bulgarian spies and the only mother I have is lying in intensive care 3000 miles away.
I ask you, is that guilt or is that guilt? - Is she all right now? - Yeah.
She's just great.
- Good.
- She's terrific.
Heh.
Terrific? What's this about feeling terrific? Did you pull a promotion? You get Paris station or something hot? Something just as good.
Some fella.
It's gotta be some fella.
LEE: Right again, Nightlight.
So, uh, where's Amanda? Amanda? You two are working together.
- What? - On the internal.
I mean, you're doing the internal, aren't you? Ha, ha.
What? Ah, you know, when you are wrong, you are wrong from here to Sri Lanka.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- No, I'm not.
- Come on.
We've been together, what, four years now? I can read you like a paper bag.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, look, you want some advice? Dump whatever it is you are drinking, huh? Heh.
- What's this? - We're gonna take this outside.
There's an agency sedan parked out back.
I want you to get up slowly and walk and keep your hands where I can see them.
So it's you.
You know, uh, my money was on Ronnie, before he bought it.
[WHISPERING.]
Walk.
Right there.
Hand me your gun, butt first, nice and easy.
So tell me, why Ronnie? - Why did you pick him? - His bank account.
He was dumb enough to put his piece right in his bank in his name, social security number.
You're putting me on.
Go wasn't in on this.
[SCOFFS.]
So how does a guy who's pulling down 36,500 a year score 40 big ones, huh? Math doesn't track, Davey.
You really don't know, do you? Let's go.
He won the Irish sweeps.
Huh? Ain't that a kick? Chinese spy rakes in 12th place for that in the Irish sweepstakes.
- Yeah, sure he did.
- I don't care if you believe me or not.
You were in Tangiers or someplace like that anyhow.
He threw a hell of a party.
Too bad you didn't make it.
So who's the woman working with you on this, Lee? Amanda? - There's no woman.
- Well, it's not Greta or Connie or Francine.
- It's Amanda, isn't it? - Wrong.
- How long ago? - Just a minute ago.
Uh-huh.
Thirty seconds, whatever.
He was with Davey.
You really didn't have me pegged, did you? A lady from the sticks did though.
Thanks to Monica, Amanda now knows about the alimony being paid in cash.
I guess she just didn't have the time to lay it out for you.
Do you understand what I'm saying, Lee? Cool.
Very cool.
Not a blink, a twitch.
Zero reaction, the perfect secret agent.
You're a real credit to your country and flag.
You too, David.
Uh, which country did you say that was again? Very funny.
Come on.
The door's unlocked.
You're gonna slide over and drive.
- No, lady.
- Yes? That way.
The back door.
Thank you.
I have to do everything.
Leave my coffee, drive the car, get shot.
LEE: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
Lee! Speed, Amanda, come on now.
Don't speed.
Why not speed? Virginia plates.
The guy ought to know better than to hot-dog it in Fairfax County.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
POLICEMAN 1: Let's try this.
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
POLICEMAN 1: Let's go, let's go! - You call it in, okay? Right now.
POLICEMAN 2: I got it.
Got it.
[SIREN WAILING.]
What did I tell you? Don't slow down, don't speed up, just take it nice and easy, Lee.
There's a side road up ahead.
I want you to make a left.
Stop right here.
[SIGHS.]
Look, Davey, you can't go back.
You can't run, you can't hide.
I can run, as long as there's a 4:00 flight out of Dulles.
- Heh, to where? - To Paris.
[LEE SIGHS.]
And Bulgaria.
Viktor will take me with him.
Now, come on.
Let's go.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Now, that was for Ronnie.
Your partner, and my friend.
Now, are you on the level about that 4:00 flight? Huh? Yeah.
- All right.
And Viktor's booked on it.
- Yeah.
[BENSON GASPS.]
[LEE GASPS.]
- All right, how about some ID? - You got it, officer.
Come on, take care of my friend here, huh? There you go.
- Thank you, sir.
- Yeah, thanks.
Here.
LEE: Oh.
[LEE SIGHS.]
- Amanda - I was real worried about you.
Yeah, same with me.
How'd you get them to believe they had to follow you here? I just showed them my government identification.
Uh, Amanda, you don't have any government identification.
Oh, sure I do.
Of course I do.
Don't you remember? I've got my badge.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just showed them my badge.
Heh.
How can I be sure? The body shop guy said you could have it back in three days.
Until then, you have an agency car.
And the agency will pay for the damage, right? Because, I mean, it's entirely practically the whole side of my station wagon is messed up.
The agency will pay.
No problem.
- No problem? - Yeah.
I can't get them to pay for the blue shoes that I ruined.
And that was a lot less expensive.
Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
Yes, sir.
- Where? Where is Blue Leader? - Shh.
BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: I wanna thank you, Scarecrow, and you, Mrs.
King.
Viktor Ignatiev was taken off flight 707 last evening and is comfortably in custody.
Nightlight was arraigned early this morning and sends both of you his best.
You can be sure the agency is proud of both of you.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Sir? Where do you talk to when you talk to him? Uh, well, I usually aim for the steering wheel.
Ahem.
Sir? Sir, as long as I have you on the line I wonder if I could just mention that I damaged my station wagon pretty badly in the, uh Well, yesterday in the In the whole mission and I was just, um, wondering I was hoping that we could, uh You know, the agency would be sure to take care of, uh, the repair and, uh Amanda.
Ahem.
- He's gone.
- No, no.
No, no.
I think we're on hold.
Sir? Mr.
Leader? Blue Leader, sir? [CHUCKLES.]
They're coming.
Burn the papers.
The code, Viktor.
Quickly.
First the code, then the cables.
They must not be found.
- You're armed? - I am, Viktor.
VIKTOR: Then you know what to do.
Come.
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
LEE: All right.
Ronnie, take the garage and elevator.
Francine, stairwell.
Come on, Davey.
[GUN COCKS.]
- Scarecrow, Nightlight? - Scarecrow.
- Stairwell secured.
- Check.
- Go, are you reading? - Go here, Scarecrow.
- Garage secure.
- Check.
Scarecrow and Nightlight moving in.
You have any idea how to say "freeze" in Bulgarian? Not a clue.
One two, three.
All right.
Hold it! [SPEAKING IN BULGARIAN.]
That's the wrong guy, Davey.
That's not Viktor.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
All I'm saying is, it's not the total end of the world.
A busted play, it happens.
It's more than that, Ronnie.
We know it.
- Yeah, it happens, Ronnie.
- Not three times.
Not in our section.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: The weather for the D.
C.
Area is generally pretty nice.
We may have some snow later on in the week.
Coming in from the Great Lakes area.
On a serious note, the budget was BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
You may respond.
We're on a secure frequency, Scarecrow.
What happened to Viktor Ignatiev? [SIGHS.]
I gather from your silence that the mission was once again a failure.
Uh, yes, sir, uh Ahem.
He was He was gone.
BLUE LEADER: Scarecrow, again, for the third time a man comes in and out of this country illegally.
Seemingly at will.
The first time we missed him, he was leaving with the Godiva papers.
And then, last year, when he got by us again, it was with the Danzig formula.
The man is a peril to national security.
You realize that he gives his best information directly to the Politburo.
Yes, sir, yes, sir, I know that, but But nailing him is trying to catch a handful of smoke.
Scarecrow, what we have here is not a series of accidents.
We have a traitor, a mole.
We must find that person.
More specifically, you must find that person.
Pardon me, sir, but I think short-circuiting Billy Melrose would be Let me make it clear.
Everyone in Field Section is suspect.
Scarecrow, you are the only one who was not a party to the two former attempts to stop Viktor.
In the Mideast in '81, Norway in '83.
Blue Leader, excuse me, but I don't think I am your man.
Internal investigation's just not my thing.
It is precisely your thing.
You're the leader of a failed mission.
I expect you to redeem yourself.
Blue Leader out.
MAN [ON RADIO.]
: This is Crazy Larry, out here in the Washington, D.
C.
Area FRANCINE: So you say Billy was a little ticked this morning.
I was not ducking that meeting.
I had all those cables from Cuba station to get up to Crypto.
Yeah, right, and I'm Pope Leo.
Look, I have really had it with this whole Bulgarian number, okay? Now, the next guy that mentions Viktor or what Billy said is gonna be wearing this bowl of chili, you got it? Hey, your way, babe.
You're right.
I'm leaving.
Watch my feet, see? Definite movement here.
Get out of here.
[SIGHS.]
Hello.
I've been calling the agency, trying to find you.
Finally, Mr.
Melrose suggested that you might be here.
- What? - I've got the film.
- The film? - Yes.
Remember when you had to do that surveillance job it was such a rushed-up thing and you asked if you could borrow my station wagon because your car was so conspicuous? Well, you left your film in it.
Philip found it.
He was playing with it, but lucky for us Mother saw him before school and she asked him what he was doing, so - [WHISPERS.]
Here it is.
- Amanda.
Ahem.
This film This film is a roll of test stuff that I ran through the camera to see if the take-up roll was working okay after they fixed it.
- Oh.
- Uh-huh.
BENSON: Now, no prompting.
It was Paris, spring of '81, or Athens, '82.
You were wearing your bright red dress.
I guess it was just last week at the plain, old agency.
You were standing next to plain, old Lee Stetson.
- Heh, plain, old Lee.
- Mrs.
King, I do believe.
David Benson, your eternal servant.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
You have a very good memory.
- No, just great taste.
- No, just great taste.
Uh, Davey, isn't your ice melting over there? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you two had anything personal Hold it, there's nothing personal between Amanda and me.
That's right, it's, uh, business, just business.
Right.
It's just business.
All right.
Since I don't wanna rush things what do you say to lunch? We can talk about dinner.
Ha, ha.
Just hold it.
I don't think any of us should be making any plans, not just now.
You're talking about the Viktor thing.
You wanna hear my slant on Viktor? Hold it.
Amanda is not involved.
Excuse me, what does that mean? - There's gonna be an internal - Excuse me.
I don't mean to be prying [WHISPERS.]
Someone near and dear to us is gonna draw the short straw and the duty.
Informer.
It's gotta be the crumb job of all time, right? Right.
Real crumb job.
Heh.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Shall we? What we should be concerned about is that everything that Viktor learns is pipelined right to Moscow.
- We know, Billy.
What can we say after we said we're sorry? - We're as shook up as you are.
- Well You're about to be a little more shook up.
I want reports on the Viktor operation.
I don't mean the kind of garbage that you people hand in that are supposed to pass for expense vouchers.
I mean "report" report.
Oh, no.
And I want them all the way back to '81, and I want them complete.
Neatness and originality to count for 50 percent? Stow it, Benson.
I've got a slot open in Finland next December.
Keep that in mind in case you get a good deal on snow tires.
[ALL CHUCKLE.]
I want them typed so that I can read them and I want them fast.
You have till next Friday.
Mr.
Melrose.
I don't think I need remind you that I have nine days, six hours and, uh, 20 minutes remaining on my service to this agency.
Not to speak of which I haven't been asked to leave my desk for the past six months.
Do I consider myself exempt from your little essay? No exemptions, Humbug.
Oh, well, now, fine.
Fine, fine.
Mine may be a bit long and rambling.
Uh, senility does that, you know but it will nevertheless be a sharp and penetrating look on the whole business.
A view from behind the desk, so to speak.
Toward the water cooler, the men's room.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Swell.
That's right, just keep up the laughing.
Because that's what the East Bloc countries are doing right now.
At you.
Hang in a moment.
Scarecrow, I am particularly interested in your report.
Uh, you're new on this one.
Maybe you'll have a different slant on this one.
It could be important.
To tell the truth, I'm about this far from a phone call from Blue Leader and we both know how heavy that can be, don't we? Oh.
- Blue Leader? - Never mind, forget it.
Since when does a top man talk to field agents? [CHUCKLES.]
You heard me tell the others they've got till Friday to get their reports in.
I want yours by Wednesday.
- Wednesday? - You got it.
Come on, Billy.
And since I've seen your typing, I think you need to look for some help.
And not from the steno pool.
We need someone with a grade-10 security certification.
Oh, sure, and a small miracle.
So happens I might have one for you.
How's 90 words a minute and security clearance, for openers? [GRO ANS.]
LEE: Billy suggested you.
- You do type 90 words a minute? AMANDA: Yes.
Ninety words a minute, if you don't count mistakes.
- Billy's idea, huh? - Billy's idea, all the way.
Well, that's just fine.
Just please thank him for me.
I will do.
Boy, this guy looks like he came in second in a Godzilla movie.
Yeah, or they had a very poor school lunch program in those days.
[LEE LAUGHS.]
Oh, there's an interesting one over here.
- Uh AMANDA: Now, look at this.
The saber-toothed tiger probably ambushed larger, slower animals Amanda.
- Such as ground sloths Amanda, let's skip the tour, huh? There's something I wanna talk about.
Oh, you don't like the saber-toothed tiger either, huh? To tell you the truth, not at all.
I'm not into overbite.
- That's not why I brought you here.
- No.
Not for the dinosaurs either.
No, not the dinosaurs either.
It's a mole.
Amanda, it looks like No, wait.
I know what a mole looks like.
We had one in our garden.
It ate the carrots.
- Amanda - I understand.
- It ate the carrots from underground.
- I don't think you do.
All the leafy stalks stood up and everything looked healthy and pretty.
But when you tried to pick a carrot, you could grab the stalk, pull it up there was no carrot on the bottom - Whoa, Amanda.
It's another kind of mole, all right? - All right.
- This kind is a traitor.
- Oh.
- Yes.
Someone who's working from inside, a spy in the agency.
That's a lot worse.
- Yeah, a lot.
- Yeah.
Someone's been tipping off this Bulgarian agent named Viktor every time we're about to drop the net on him.
So my boss, Blue Leader, has dropped the whole investigation into my lap.
Ooh.
That's a lot of responsibility.
He must have a great deal of confidence in you.
Oh, ho.
Yeah, it's a great honor.
So since I'm going to be digging into the lives of everyone in the field unit I need someone that I can absolutely trust to help me.
- Do you mean me? - Mm-hm.
I mean you.
- Oh, it was Billy's idea.
- Nope.
- No? - Mine.
- Yours? - Mm-hm.
Oh, ha, well.
Look.
You are the only one outside of the agency that has a grade-10 security clearance.
Oh.
These, um, other agents.
- Aren't they friends of yours? - Ha, ha.
Until they find out we're digging into their bank statements their income-tax filings, doctors' reports, all sorts of that good stuff.
Is this the crumb job you and David were talking about? LEE: Yeah.
Look, we can't tell anybody about this.
AMANDA: Why not? - Everyone is suspect.
AMANDA: Even Mr.
Melrose? - For one, yeah.
AMANDA: Oh.
He's been using that payphone around the corner.
A lot of outside calls to somebody.
Francine's been skipping meetings and acting weird and Humbug's a very, very bitter man.
- And David Benson's a suspect.
- You got it.
I have a date with a suspect.
Ugh.
How am I gonna get out of it? - Well, you, uh, sure you want to? - What? I thought you bought that line of his all the way.
You thought what? Was it Paris in the springtime, or was it Athens? - You were wearing red.
- Oh, really.
All that stuff that women go for.
"Go for"? He asked me to lunch.
It was a simple lunch invitation, that's all.
You're making it sound Hey, you wanna go out with a guy that's got more scalps on his belt than Geronimo, be my guest.
If you didn't want me to go, all you had to do was say, "No, don't go.
" Sure, and sound like I was j - Look, Amanda.
- Hmm? Heh.
What I am trying to say is we're not, you know, emotionally involved.
- I know that.
- Or anything like that.
Well, of course not.
I think I should go out with him.
I should use it as a fact-finding survey.
I mean I really think I can probably find out much more about him by talking to him than looking at his bank statements.
I suppose.
So, what should I do? Heh, it's your own personal time.
Is it a yes or a no? - Ugh, yeah.
Well - Yeah, well, I think I will.
- All right.
- I'm going on a date with David Benson.
- Terrific.
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah.
Right.
- Heh, terrific.
- Good, I'm happy.
- Fine.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good.
But it was your decision.
Oh, that's gorgeous.
- Is it new? - About six months.
Just after the divorce.
Any sooner, it would now be parked outside 221 Orchard Street, Apartment 2, Arlington, Virginia.
Ah.
Leave us not cry over spilled marriage.
What food would you like? Polynesian? French? Italian, Afghan, Swedish? You don't have some place already picked out? I thought you did when you told me that I should dress for dinner.
No.
Leave us not consider expense for expense is no trouble to the truly creative.
[AMANDA SIGHS.]
All right.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES.]
- Are you in? - Yes.
BENSON: Or the lemon soufflé, or chocolate mousse? [AMANDA AND BENSON CHUCKLE.]
- I can recommend the baked Alaska.
- No.
Ha, ha.
Or get Marcel to whip up some crepes if you like.
No, ha, ha, thank you.
Good evening.
- Apres- vous, mademoiselle.
- Thank you.
- Did you recognize the senator? - Senator, where? You just passed him.
- Oh, the man that smiled at you? - Oh, you smile, they smile back.
- Everybody thinks you belong.
- Ha, ha.
- Sure you don't want some dessert? - I couldn't.
- Good evening.
Evening.
Lovely party.
- Thank you.
- Why don't we have a drink? - All right, ha, ha.
Not used to the fast track, huh? Well, not this fast.
I mean, I'm more the, uh, PTA, lunch and potluck-at-the-church type.
I warned you.
Yeah, you warned me, Amanda, but it was a little late.
I was already, uh, zapped.
- Zapped? - Zapped.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, uh, ha, ha, what did you mean when you said you just smile and then everybody thinks you belong? Don't you belong? - Me? - Mm-hm.
Amanda, I'm an agency type.
We don't get invited to these things.
What I do is I check with the caterers.
I know most of them.
Find out where the parties are going who's hosting, then I pick one.
- And it works? - Always.
- Do you do this every night? - Ha.
No.
A couple of nights a week, I'll get something at the Steak o'Bob.
Or I'll put a TV dinner in the microwave.
What an agent pulls down in salary per month you kind of learn to live on the cheap.
There.
You know all my secrets.
I hope I haven't blown my image.
Hmm.
No.
Really, no, you haven't.
Heh.
BILLY: So I want it stopped.
There are enough rumors going on around here as it is, without - Without - Without adding grist to the mill.
Without adding grist to the mill.
Now, nobody is being transferred, nobody is being fired and as far as I know, nobody is being investigated.
So let's just stop this - This - Paranoia.
Right.
Paranoia.
Okay.
Let's get back to those reports.
[AGENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Hello, sir.
- Are you doing, uh, Scarecrow's report? - Uh, well, you could - Good.
- On my desk, 5:00.
- Yes, sir.
[SIGHS.]
- Oh, my typing? - Uh, yes.
LEE: Don't act so mysterious.
AMANDA: I'm trying not to, but I feel a little funny.
Mr.
Melrose is the head of Field Section, and he asked me a direct question.
- Although I didn't really lie to him - What are these? The bank statements you asked me to check.
- I feel strange about all this - What bank statements? Um, the man you called "Go.
" - Quan, Ronnie Quan.
- Right.
- Forty thousand - Shh.
[WHISPERS.]
That's one deposit.
I've gotta get to Ronnie right away.
Please don't turn around, Mr.
Quan.
You the guy who phoned with the tip on the Bulgarian thing? Even better.
[SILENCED GUNSHOT.]
LEE: What the hell was Ronnie doing at a riding arena? I mean, what got him there, who called him? It had to be Viktor.
I'm telling you, it had to be.
But why did Ronnie go alone? I mean, that's basic, isn't it? You learn that rule your first week on service.
- And break it regularly thereafter.
- It had to be somebody he trusted.
Go wouldn't have put himself out on a limb unless he trusted the guy.
Or girl, uh Present company excepted, of course.
Why? I mean, you haven't been around that much lately, Francine.
- What's a fella to think? - You think I did it? - You actually think I killed Ronnie Quan? - No.
He didn't mean it, Francine.
Well, he said it.
You don't say something unless you mean it.
I gotta split, Lee.
This hit pretty close.
Go was my partner and it could have been me.
Let's stop taking shots at each other, okay? I'm sorry, Francine.
Lee, the rest of us feel the same way you do.
- Yeah.
BENSON: We'll get Viktor.
I know we will.
Good night, Reilly.
[FRANCINE SIGHS.]
I really was busy when Billy had those meetings.
They dropped a whole load of cable traffic on me for the Rio station.
Why don't you go home and get some rest, huh? Oh, yeah, sure.
Lots of luck.
See you two tomorrow.
Uh, him you'll see tomorrow.
The government would like you to know that among the aged there are no guarantees.
This retirement thing is really getting to you, isn't it? Compulsory retirement.
Ranks right up there with compulsory suicide.
Lee, how did your meeting go with Blue Leader? [CHUCKLES.]
- What? - Son, I've been in intelligence for over 40 years.
I've seen moles before.
Oh, hell, I've caught moles before.
I know the drill.
Uh, I watched you when Francine mentioned, uh, "cable traffic" and "Rio.
" Unless my memory's fading entirely the excuse she trotted around the shop about her mysterious absence had to do with - Cuba station.
Not Rio.
- Yeah.
- You caught that.
- Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
I'm going on 65.
Not 105.
Oh, you would be Blue Leader's boy.
Who else in this outfit is absolutely clean about the Viktor business? Blue Leader mention me, did he? - Walter, I've got things to do.
- I'm not finished talking yet.
LEE: It's the booze talking, Walter.
Now, wait a minute.
I trained you, Lee.
I taught you the business.
You owe me an answer.
- Walter, you taught me.
- Right.
You taught me pretty good.
And if I were working for Blue Leader, how do you think you'd come out, huh? - I don't know.
- You're a pretty hot prospect.
REILLY: Uh-huh.
The top candidate for an approach by an East Bloc country.
REILLY: Uh-huh.
You're mad and don't care who knows it.
- No.
- Your code name is Humbug and believe me, you've earned it.
Heh.
- You've done nothing but grouse and gripe.
- Right.
The thing that is burning you is that now you'll be home growing your roses and reading the news not making the news anymore.
Why wouldn't Blue Leader have you with the contenders for mole? - Will I get to answer that? - No, no, I'm gonna answer that.
He wouldn't figure it because old Humbug the griping gardener, has one favorite flower.
- What's that? - The American Beauty rose.
[ELEVATOR BEEPS.]
[LEE CHUCKLES.]
Walter, you are a patriot, simple as that.
If you have taught me one thing, it's loyalty to this agency.
Sorry, Humbug.
As a mole, you just wouldn't cut it.
[ELEVATOR BEEPS.]
Think you're pretty smart, don't you, Scarecrow? Oh, I taught him too damn well.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY.]
DOTTY: Head down, you see? And then you keep your left arm real straight.
Mother, I'm not really sure, but I think that you're talking about golf.
You know, with the Oh, maybe so.
Let me think now.
- They have a coach, Grandma.
- Oh, they do? Well, then just mind your coach, sweetie.
Okay.
Hey, I gotta go.
See you, bye.
DOTTY: Good luck, sweetheart.
Get them.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I'll go check the mothers' bake booth and see if they can use a hand.
Hurry up.
Philip bats cleanup.
Cleanup.
They have you batting according to cleanliness and neatness.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
Save me a seat in the bleachers.
My phone? There's nothing wrong with my phone, why? I happened to see you downstairs when I came in and you were on a payphone and Phew, agents.
Does everything have to have some meaning? Listen, you wanna know the truth? I was talking to a buddy who's well connected upstairs.
Now, he's trying to find out for me if there's gonna be an internal on this Viktor thing.
You want something, Francine? You were saying something about me, weren't you? - You? - Oh, come on, please don't lie to me.
I know the talk, I hear the whispers.
- Francine, you - Nobody has to draw me any pictures.
You don't trust me.
We weren't talking about you.
Why don't you just be man enough, just come on out and admit it? Admit it.
All right, I am a suspect.
I'm a suspect.
Oh.
Okay, I'm going home now, all right? Because I hate this in public, I hate this.
And, Lee, you have a phone call.
Oh.
It's weird.
And it's getting weirder and weirder.
Go take your phone call.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Hi, Mrs.
Scott.
Why don't you go let me take over for a few minutes? LEE: Hi.
- Hi.
I wasn't sure whether you wanted me to keep on, after what happened to Ronnie.
I want you to keep on.
That's why I came.
- Okay, good.
- Ahem.
Would you mind putting this on? - This is a baseball cap.
- Yes, I know.
Most of the Bomber fathers wear them.
Bomber's fathers? No.
Amanda, I am sorry, I pass.
I am not, nor do I ever intend to be a Bomber father.
Do you think you could loosen your tie a little bit? - You look a little stuffy.
- My tie? I'll tell you, you need something to eat.
So why don't you try a nice brownie? Mrs.
Scott makes them.
Seventy-five cents, please.
Is this why you brought me out here, huh? To have me chip my tooth on one of Mrs.
Scott's brownies? Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no.
I don't want you to think that I don't trust David.
- Hmm.
- Not for a minute.
But um - Uh, Amanda, what have you got? - All right.
I have been checking into the bank statements and the tax returns like you told me to, and I think maybe I found something strange.
Strange, how? About six months ago David started making out checks to Monica Benson, right? - Uh-huh.
- I assume they have to be alimony checks because they had no children.
Boy, that's sad.
Children can really make the difference - Checks, you were mentioning checks.
- Right.
Sorry, the checks.
- The first check was on June 1 st, you see? - Yeah.
Second check, July 6th, right? The third check, August 14.
- Do you see the pattern here? - I see it, I see it, and? And then they stop.
Did you hear me? I said they stop.
I heard you.
The payments stop.
So what? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[SHOUTING.]
Amanda, did you see it? AMANDA: No, Mother.
- He did it! He did it! He got a hit! Wonderful! I'll be right there.
- You don't have to watch - I'll just put the money out.
- I'll be right over there! - I'll be right [DOTTY YELLING.]
Lee? Lee.
- Anybody actually eat these things? - Of course they do.
Would you get around here? Come on.
It'll look funny.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Here you are, sir.
Try one of these.
Have you ever heard of anybody paying alimony for only three months and then not being required to pay it any longer? - No, but, uh - Neither have I.
I mean, I take child support.
I never took alimony.
But, uh, anyway, it seems strange to me.
- So I checked out his 1040, his tax return.
- Amanda.
I'm getting to it.
I'm getting to it.
Even after he stopped paying the alimony he continued to take a full tax credit for the entire amount over and over and over and over again.
Now, don't you think that's pretty strange? Yeah, that is pretty strange.
Unless Unless he was paying her in cash.
But if he was paying her in cash, why? - And where did it come from? - Exactly.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
Go, Philip! Slide.
Slide, Philip! Slide.
Attaboy! Look at him! You see? That was wonderful! Yes, good boy, Philip.
Sure, it was wonderful.
I just dropped this brownie on my toe.
I think it's broken.
The brownie is just fine.
I'm sorry, is there anything I can do? Well, it's funny you asked.
Yes, there is something you can do but you're gonna need identification.
One of those badge things people wear when they come to your door? - Badge things? - Yeah.
AMANDA: Mrs.
Benson? Mrs.
Monica Benson? What's that badge say again? It says "United States Bureau of the Census Department of Marital Relations.
" As you can see right there.
It also says it on the top of my sheet.
- You see? - Got another department? That's government for you.
Now, your name is Monica Benson, right? I don't have to answer any questions.
No.
No, you don't have to answer these questions but these are the questions of the United States government.
If you don't answer them for me you'll just have to answer them for my superior or my superior's superior - Monica Benson.
- Good.
Now, are you divorced, married or single? Divorced.
Definitely divorced.
Uh, look, is this going to take long? Because, uh, I just got off the courts and I think I have a compound fracture of both arches.
It won't take long.
Maybe, uh, you know, 10 minutes.
- Well, 10 minutes is long.
- It's my job.
I'm just doing my job.
Well, all right.
Come on into the living room.
If I'm gonna be interrogated, I might as well do it under my own lamp.
Yes, that's what I always say.
She called a couple of minutes before I phoned you.
She was steamed, let me tell you.
VIKTOR: Then let's be calm about this, shall we? How do you know the woman was with the agency? Because I checked.
There is no Department of Marital Relations.
She's an agent.
Monica bought the whole story.
She told her everything.
If she believed the woman, why did she call you? Because the woman got her in some idiot conversation about taxes.
The difference between alimony and child support and who pays taxes on what.
Monica called to tell me how ticked she was.
I forgot to tell her she owed taxes.
That's when I found out about the woman.
And what am I to do about it? You're asking me what to do? There's an internal investigation going on, Viktor.
They're about to drop the net on me and you're asking me what I expect you to do? I asked because I hope you don't expect me to take care of anyone else, David.
Your Oriental partner was the last.
You came to me, told me he was beginning to put pieces together.
I did you a favor.
No more.
I've carried you, helped you support your ridiculous lifestyle but you have become too expensive.
Even for us.
I just want you to get him off my back.
If not you, then someone else.
Just do it.
- "He.
" Who is "he"? - Lee Stetson.
Scarecrow.
- You're certain it is Scarecrow? - Yes.
I'm sure.
Then you have your answer.
- Me.
- I won't be here.
I have the information I came for.
I will be on the 4:00 flight for Paris tomorrow afternoon.
I'm afraid it is your problem now.
BILLY: Once you get it typed, shoot it right back to me.
- Sir? Have you seen Lee? - Is that his report? It's due at 5:00.
- Uh, yes, I wanna give it to him to check.
- I'll check it for him.
No, sir, he'd be very angry with me if he didn't check it before you saw it.
Fine.
Fine.
He's down at Ned's.
Get him to check it, then get it up here.
Yes, sir, I'll do that.
But I never fall apart like that.
I mean, it's just not like me.
And so I thought I'd tell you why.
How come, if it's none of my business? How come? Because you're my friend.
I should have told you something before, but I was too upset.
My mother had surgery.
I'm sorry.
Major surgery.
[SIGHS.]
- That's some pretty heavy stuff, huh? - Heh.
Heavy? You wanna hear heavy? I mean, here I am with a gun in my hand, chasing after Bulgarian spies and the only mother I have is lying in intensive care 3000 miles away.
I ask you, is that guilt or is that guilt? - Is she all right now? - Yeah.
She's just great.
- Good.
- She's terrific.
Heh.
Terrific? What's this about feeling terrific? Did you pull a promotion? You get Paris station or something hot? Something just as good.
Some fella.
It's gotta be some fella.
LEE: Right again, Nightlight.
So, uh, where's Amanda? Amanda? You two are working together.
- What? - On the internal.
I mean, you're doing the internal, aren't you? Ha, ha.
What? Ah, you know, when you are wrong, you are wrong from here to Sri Lanka.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- No, I'm not.
- Come on.
We've been together, what, four years now? I can read you like a paper bag.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, look, you want some advice? Dump whatever it is you are drinking, huh? Heh.
- What's this? - We're gonna take this outside.
There's an agency sedan parked out back.
I want you to get up slowly and walk and keep your hands where I can see them.
So it's you.
You know, uh, my money was on Ronnie, before he bought it.
[WHISPERING.]
Walk.
Right there.
Hand me your gun, butt first, nice and easy.
So tell me, why Ronnie? - Why did you pick him? - His bank account.
He was dumb enough to put his piece right in his bank in his name, social security number.
You're putting me on.
Go wasn't in on this.
[SCOFFS.]
So how does a guy who's pulling down 36,500 a year score 40 big ones, huh? Math doesn't track, Davey.
You really don't know, do you? Let's go.
He won the Irish sweeps.
Huh? Ain't that a kick? Chinese spy rakes in 12th place for that in the Irish sweepstakes.
- Yeah, sure he did.
- I don't care if you believe me or not.
You were in Tangiers or someplace like that anyhow.
He threw a hell of a party.
Too bad you didn't make it.
So who's the woman working with you on this, Lee? Amanda? - There's no woman.
- Well, it's not Greta or Connie or Francine.
- It's Amanda, isn't it? - Wrong.
- How long ago? - Just a minute ago.
Uh-huh.
Thirty seconds, whatever.
He was with Davey.
You really didn't have me pegged, did you? A lady from the sticks did though.
Thanks to Monica, Amanda now knows about the alimony being paid in cash.
I guess she just didn't have the time to lay it out for you.
Do you understand what I'm saying, Lee? Cool.
Very cool.
Not a blink, a twitch.
Zero reaction, the perfect secret agent.
You're a real credit to your country and flag.
You too, David.
Uh, which country did you say that was again? Very funny.
Come on.
The door's unlocked.
You're gonna slide over and drive.
- No, lady.
- Yes? That way.
The back door.
Thank you.
I have to do everything.
Leave my coffee, drive the car, get shot.
LEE: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[CAR ENGINE STARTS.]
Lee! Speed, Amanda, come on now.
Don't speed.
Why not speed? Virginia plates.
The guy ought to know better than to hot-dog it in Fairfax County.
[CAR HORN HONKING.]
POLICEMAN 1: Let's try this.
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
POLICEMAN 1: Let's go, let's go! - You call it in, okay? Right now.
POLICEMAN 2: I got it.
Got it.
[SIREN WAILING.]
What did I tell you? Don't slow down, don't speed up, just take it nice and easy, Lee.
There's a side road up ahead.
I want you to make a left.
Stop right here.
[SIGHS.]
Look, Davey, you can't go back.
You can't run, you can't hide.
I can run, as long as there's a 4:00 flight out of Dulles.
- Heh, to where? - To Paris.
[LEE SIGHS.]
And Bulgaria.
Viktor will take me with him.
Now, come on.
Let's go.
[POLICE SIREN WAILING.]
[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING.]
[LEE GRUNTS.]
Now, that was for Ronnie.
Your partner, and my friend.
Now, are you on the level about that 4:00 flight? Huh? Yeah.
- All right.
And Viktor's booked on it.
- Yeah.
[BENSON GASPS.]
[LEE GASPS.]
- All right, how about some ID? - You got it, officer.
Come on, take care of my friend here, huh? There you go.
- Thank you, sir.
- Yeah, thanks.
Here.
LEE: Oh.
[LEE SIGHS.]
- Amanda - I was real worried about you.
Yeah, same with me.
How'd you get them to believe they had to follow you here? I just showed them my government identification.
Uh, Amanda, you don't have any government identification.
Oh, sure I do.
Of course I do.
Don't you remember? I've got my badge.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just showed them my badge.
Heh.
How can I be sure? The body shop guy said you could have it back in three days.
Until then, you have an agency car.
And the agency will pay for the damage, right? Because, I mean, it's entirely practically the whole side of my station wagon is messed up.
The agency will pay.
No problem.
- No problem? - Yeah.
I can't get them to pay for the blue shoes that I ruined.
And that was a lot less expensive.
Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
Yes, sir.
- Where? Where is Blue Leader? - Shh.
BLUE LEADER [O VER RADIO.]
: I wanna thank you, Scarecrow, and you, Mrs.
King.
Viktor Ignatiev was taken off flight 707 last evening and is comfortably in custody.
Nightlight was arraigned early this morning and sends both of you his best.
You can be sure the agency is proud of both of you.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Sir? Where do you talk to when you talk to him? Uh, well, I usually aim for the steering wheel.
Ahem.
Sir? Sir, as long as I have you on the line I wonder if I could just mention that I damaged my station wagon pretty badly in the, uh Well, yesterday in the In the whole mission and I was just, um, wondering I was hoping that we could, uh You know, the agency would be sure to take care of, uh, the repair and, uh Amanda.
Ahem.
- He's gone.
- No, no.
No, no.
I think we're on hold.
Sir? Mr.
Leader? Blue Leader, sir? [CHUCKLES.]