St. Denis Medical (2024) s01e15 Episode Script

1
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
If there's one thing I know,
it's how to give good Zoom.
You want a pop of color
that says, "girlfriend
likes to have fun"
but a level of order that says,
"girlfriend is in the workplace."
Too sexy.
And today's video call
is pretty important.
I'm being interviewed
for an upcoming feature
in Stanford's alumni magazine.
It is an honor that's truly humbling,
especially for the people
who weren't selected.
[CHUCKLES]
Hi, there.
Dr. Joyce Henderson, class
of '92, 720 math, 680 verbal.
Hi, Joyce.
It's Jeremy from the magazine.
Hey, Jeremy. You know what?
I'm not seeing you.
Oh, it's just an audio interview.
Did you think it was
going to be video?
No.
Did you?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
Well, unfortunately, the scans
confirmed what we suspected.
When you overextended your shoulder,
you tore two of your rotator
cuff tendons right here.
So does that mean I
can't play anymore?
Dominic's the starting pitcher
on the OMU baseball
team and a prospect
for the minors next year.
Now, the conventional
wisdom on irreparable
rotator cuff tears is clear.
It's too risky to operate.
Just cut your losses,
aim for basic function.
But here's what I think
about conventional wisdom.
Ooh. [CHUCKLES]
That's, no, it's OK, yeah,
that's thick card stock.
It's well made.
But, uh, you get what I'm going for.
The good news is, there's
an innovative new procedure
called a shoulder balloon
implant that can restore
full range of motion.
Bad news is, there's only seven
surgeons on the West Coast
trained to do it.
The good news is, I'm one of them.
The bad news is, I'm a
little hungover today.
The good news is,
just kidding. [LAUGHS]
That sounds great. Let's do it.
All right, my guy.
- We'll get you prepped.
- Cool.
All right.
You want anybody here with you?
Mom and Dad, maybe?
Uh, no, they're in El Salvador.
But I'll be good, right?
Oh, heck, yeah, you will.
I should say there's a small
percentage of implant patients
that experience chronic
pain after surgery.
But you're young and
healthy, you'll be fine.
OK, if you don't think I
need to worry about that.
I don't.
Now, those statistics
reflect all surgeons,
and you won't have all surgeons.
You'll have Bruce Schweitz.
- Who's that?
- Hmm?
Uh [LAUGHS] OK.
Who's that?
Very good. [LAUGHS]
You a ball player or a comedian?
I'll get your paperwork started,
Mrs. DeGeneres.
Oh, who's that?
Very good.
[LAUGHS]
Well, when I took over,
St. Denis was ranked
32nd in the state.
And now, it's 29th.
Actually, 28th,
because Willamette
Presbyterian burned down.
So, um, I think the numbers
speak for themselves.
OK, so is that it?
I I guess.
Wha is that the amount
that you normally get?
Just depends on the person.
Next up for this issue is Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods?
So the alumni feature is
going to be Tiger Woods,
legendary sports icon,
and me,
legendary head of a
regional hospital icon.
I'm gonna get you all wrapped up.
Keep your leg still.
And, uh, could you put
out your right hand?
OK.
Palm up.
Very good.
Perfect.
Few things bring me real joy in life.
My rock tumbler,
watching an overtly
French person fall down,
but most of all, the
Portland Trail Blazers.
Today, they're playing the Warriors.
Damn!
And I hate the Warriors.
I whoop!
Commercial's over.
We good? I think we're good.
So I sign up for emails,
activate my account,
and then the promo code is "WELCOME."
Dude, just pay full price for socks.
- But
- OK, on three.
One, two, three.
- Oh, [BLEEP].
- No, no, no, no, no.
[BLEEP].
So we had a little incident.
Not an incident.
Something has to happen
for it to be an incident.
We kinda dropped a guy.
We started to drop him, but
I reached out and stopped it.
Well, I I did hear a bonk.
There was no bonk.
I got my hand under his elbow.
He either bonked your hand
or he bonked the ground.
Either way you cut
it, there was a bonk.
Hey, do you have a minute?
For you, pal?
I have two.
No, let's say one,
and if you need more, we can
always cross that bridge.
OK.
Um I'm I'm a little concerned
that Dominic is not fully aware
of the risks of this surgery.
I told him there was a
risk of chronic pain,
and you were standing right there.
It was it was the way
that you told him, Bruce.
You were very, very confident
that it would succeed.
OK, is that a bad thing?
When a patient's going under,
I'm pretty sure they're
not thinking, gosh,
- I hope my surgeon is humble.
- OK.
But I don't think we should be
glossing over the possibility
- of a bad outcome.
- I wasn't glossing over it.
You kind of were.
Look, you care about our patients,
and that's very sweet.
- Never lose that.
- OK, it's not sweet.
- That's like actual
- Adorable, precious
uh, take the compliment.
Look, I hear you.
I do. And matter of fact,
I have just the thing to solve this.
Prescription: stay in your lane.
OK. Bye.
- REFILLS: Unlimited.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll call it in to your pharmacy.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES] We have fun.
Oh, my God.
Have you seen this?
Tiger's a sensation.
Accomplishment after accomplishment.
Gorgeous chompers, too.
Like, two rows of Dentyne Ice.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Joyce, big news.
I have a future baseball star
who wants an experimental implant.
I just need your Jane Hancock.
Hold up. A new kind of surgery?
Oh. No, don't worry.
I wouldn't say new-new.
But it is risky and innovative?
No unless you want it to be.
In which case, it is highly
dangerous and inadvisable?
- OK, let me see that.
- OK.
[LAUGHS]
- Eat your heart out, Tiger.
- [CHUCKLES]
I don't know what's happening.
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
So I stopped by the guy's
room, and he looks OK
- I think.
- Yeah, because he is.
Right.
Well, I'll just keep a close eye.
And when he wakes up, we can tell him.
No, we won't be doing that.
What do you mean?
We have to tell him.
You tell a patient
they we were dropped
which, again, he wasn't
and suddenly, his neck hurts,
and he's calling one of those
sleazy lawyers from a bus ad.
Sleazy?
But they fight for you.
Plus, we'll end up getting
written up for nothing.
Yeah, but it's the right thing to do.
I don't care about a write-up.
I do.
You're gonna take me down with
you, get us both in trouble?
I guess not.
Jeremy, stop the presses.
Oh, we don't print for,
like, three months.
It's quarterly.
Thank God, because I have
a late-breaking scoop.
I just greenlit a wildly experimental
new surgery that's gonna
help a young athlete
achieve his dream.
Really? That sounds interesting.
Yeah, well, I guess you
could say here at St. Denis,
groundbreaking surgeries
are par for the course.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, that'll work well
if you put my picture
right next to Tiger's.
You feeling, uh, good
about your surgery?
Uh, yeah.
I'm psyched you guys can
get it knocked out today.
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Right.
Uh, you talked to Mom and Dad?
They're on board and everything?
Ahh, I didn't wanna worry them.
And the doctor said
it'll be fine, right?
Ye yeah.
He, uh you know, he also
said it's a new surgery.
There are risks involved. So
Wait, you you don't
think I should do it?
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm not even, really, it's not my
But, like, if you were
me, like, you'd do it?
Oh.
Uh, if I were you
well, first of all, my husband
would be in for a surprise,
you know, because he's
pretty open-minded,
and he'd be like, oh!
And so sorry.
Listen, I'll I'll say this.
If you were my kid, I
would be a bit concerned,
um, just about the
possibility of chronic pain.
You know? But that's just me.
Yeah.
Hey, Alex!
Hey, congratulations.
So proud of you.
Hey, when's the grad party?
What are we talking about?
Oh. how you somehow became
a board-certified surgeon
in the last hour, wow,
and convinced Dominic
not to get the surgery.
Oh, you're upset with me.
Is this because I hurt your feelings?
Yeah, your fragile ego
just couldn't handle
me not taking your advice?
I just wanted him to
understand the risks involved.
What risks?
I know what I'm doing.
I'm not disputing that you're
an excellent surgeon, Bruce.
Well, it would be insane if you were.
But even excellent s
You'd be out of your
gourd if you were
- I'm speaking, OK?
- OK. Mm-hmm.
Even excellent surgeons
have bad outcomes sometimes.
Random things can just go wrong.
Like, 1% of the time.
It's basically nothing.
It's not nothing to the
one guy in a hundred
who now has chronic pain
for the rest of his life.
But that's not gonna happen here.
- But it could.
- But it won't.
- But it might.
- But it shan't.
- Shan't?
- It worked.
Oh hey, Joyce, the surgery's off.
Yeah. You can thank Dr. Alex for that.
What? Oh, great.
Now I guess I'm back
to being just the head
of some random hospital.
Tiger's gonna love this.
Due to circumstances unforeseen,
I'm going to have to
retract my addendum
to your earlier reportáge.
Sorry, what?
We're not doing the
the shoulder surgery.
Oh. OK. Is that it?
Is that it?
[CHUCKLES] No.
No, I wouldn't just rip away
good news without replacing it
with something.
Um, we are
debuting an innovative vegan option
in our lobby cafeteria next month.
So there's there's
an exclusive for ya.
[INDISTINCT INTERCOM CHATTER]
Mismatch down low on the block.
He's going for the ball.
- Simmons lobs inside
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
Hey, Doctor.
How's he doing?
Uh, yeah.
He's, uh, good.
He said he's good.
Oh, my gosh.
He's talking again?
He's talking again.
- Well, he he didn't
- He's talking.
He didn't say that.
It was more of a vibe.
- [SOBS] Thank goodness.
- OK.
Can you I just need to
can you excuse me? Just
- Pick one.
- Sorry, what's this?
You said a 1% chance
of surgery going badly
was basically nothing.
There's 100 slips of paper in here.
One of them has an X on it.
- Pick one.
- OK.
Fine, whatever.
But if you choose the
one with the X on it,
then you have to give
me one year's salary.
What? No. Why would I do that?
Because it's easy to take a risk
when you don't have anything to lose.
But if you really think that
1% is nothing, then, you know.
Fine. Yeah.
I'm not sure Joyce would approve
of gambling in the
hospital, but if it means
so much to you ah
not pre-tax, though, right?
Just pick.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
OK. [CLEARS THROAT]
OK, open it up.
Mm.
It's blank.
Of course, it was blank.
Oh, I think he got the X,
and the reason I think that
is because they all had Xs on them.
Ow.
You OK?
Oh, yeah.
You ever have hairs on your
head that don't belong?
Just trying to get rid of those.
- Mm.
- It's crazy.
As soon as they're gone,
you find another crop that has to go.
So, I was thinking,
since we both agreed
to keep our mouths
shut about the patient
and we wouldn't wanna
violate each other's trust
No, of course not.
Why don't we keep each other honest
with some collateral?
You tell me a secret;
I tell you a secret.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
So we kind of have
secrets just between us?
But it has to be something
really humiliating.
Ah
OK.
Um, I I have this recurring dream
where I give birth to my mother,
and it feels very real.
And as soon as she's out,
she starts just wailing with hunger.
So I have to, you know, feed her.
Great. Got your ass.
Don't say anything to the
guy, and you'll be fine.
Wait, where are you
you you didn't tell me your secret.
Watching the big game, huh?
Total guy move.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we need our sports, right?
We're men.
Mascot's gotta be
getting hot in there.
You can keep talking, but
I will physically harm you.
Hey, Alex.
Boy, nurses run on coffee, am I right?
Mm-hmm.
Oh! Dropped my sandwich.
Close call.
Gosh, I probably just saved your life.
Yeah, there was a big
study about deli meats
increasing the odds of heart disease.
And according to Alex, anything
with the slightest risk
- shouldn't be done.
- Nice, Bruce.
- Really nice.
- Uh-huh.
It was vegan. Sprouts and avocado.
Uh, a choking risk, then.
You're welcome, Keith.
That's not what I said at all.
Guys, you wanna hold
it down? We're at work.
I just have this crazy thing
where I think we should be
upfront with our patients
about things that might affect them.
Oh, I don't think that's crazy at all.
We owe it to our patients
to tell them everything.
Guys, Matt, has this dream that
On the other hand, it's
important to say nothing.
Hey, did anyone bring an extra lunch?
Maybe we should tell
people not to drive home.
You seen the stats on car crashes?
Oh, and 100,000 people
slip in the tub every year.
So what? Maybe we
should stop showering?
Is that what you want?
Just a bunch of stinky people
walking down the highway?
I don't think this is about risk.
This is about your ego.
It's funny, 'cause I
think it's about your ego.
Everybody, stop.
This is a break room, OK?
And if you all respectfully
shut the [BLEEP] up,
it would be appreciated.
Ron makes a good point
Shut up!
We're trying to watch the game.
Be sure to call about PT, OK?
Those appointments go really fast.
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
- Hey.
I just wanted to say I
respect your decision
about the implant.
Sometimes, it's good to be cautious.
- Cool. Thanks.
- All right.
All right, let's get you signed out
Neil Armstrong.
- Here we go.
- What?
What's that oh, nothing.
No, I was just thinking
about Neil Armstrong.
He is kind of a hero of mine.
Oh, it's funny, now
that you mention it,
he also took a risk. Yeah?
Piloted a tin can all
the way to the moon,
changed the course of human history.
He also had a team of
scientists around him
making sure that
Well, but he's not the only one.
The Wright Brothers,
who conquered the skies.
Gandhi, and his thing. Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of risk-takers.
- OK, that is true.
- Mm.
It's also true that for
every Neil Armstrong,
some other risk-taker takes a joy ride
down to the "Titanic"
wreck and explodes!
Implodes. What? They imploded.
That was nuts.
And what would you know about risk?
[CHUCKLES] She doesn't go
to Costco after 3:00 p.m.
because she says the
parking lot is too scary.
People there are insane, Bruce.
I am not the only one who thinks that.
No.
No, no, no!
Open your eyes.
Damn it!
It breaks your heart, but
you can't save them all.
He's saying I don't take
risks, which is crazy.
Just last week, I bought a pack
of bras right off the shelf.
Like, I didn't even try them on first.
Yeah, OK, but see,
that seems less like a risk thing
and more like a self-respect thing.
Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
Alex, I'm on my way to the OR
to start Dom's surgery.
I just wanted to say,
colleague to colleague,
tough loss.
You came at the big
dog. I respect that.
But you weren't ready
for that big dog bite.
All right, Bruce.
I got that locking jaw.
Heh, not neutered, so
aggression's way up.
I really don't care.
Ooh, I think she does, Nurse
come on, you got to
wear your name badge
- in a visible place, bud.
- It's Parker.
It's too late.
Look, the point is, I won.
And I'm sorry that
hurts your feelings.
It is insane that you think
that this is about my feelings.
Uh, I think if you
dig down deep enough,
it is about your feelings.
Or, maybe, I just know what it's like
when someone takes a risk
and it doesn't work out.
Because I'm the one
who takes care of them
when they come back in,
and they're in pain,
or they're hooked on pills, or worse.
But you don't have to worry
about any of that, do you?
Big dog.
OK, sir, just checking your vitals
blood pressure, heart rate,
elbow function.
Elbow?
I had a collapsed lung.
Oh, this this is all protocol.
Um, so elbow-wise,
we're doing all good?
- I think so.
- Great!
That's that's great.
Uh, well, let me know if
there's anything I can do
- to make you more comfortable.
- No, I'm OK. Thanks.
Hot chocolate, maybe?
You a Swiss Miss man?
I could also make Nestlé happen.
Headline is, I'm here.
I'm gonna take care of you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Is everything good in here.
- Yep.
Hah! Yep. Super good.
Almost too good, right?
Hey, can we get some problems in here?
He was asking about my elbow.
And his heart rate.
Tell her about your heart rate.
Hey, I come in peace.
I'm invested in Dom now,
so I just wanted to see this through.
Uh-huh.
I'm serious.
I'm just here to be supportive.
So good luck in there.
Uh-huh.
Looks like they're all ready for you.
Uh-huh, well, I just have
to scrub a few more spots.
I think you got all
the spots there, bud.
Well, I wanna make sure
my hands are clean, OK?
So I don't mess up and, uh, you know,
ruin this kid's life.
What the uh, out of soap. Great.
Cool. Cool hospital.
OK, talk to me. What
what's going on?
I don't know.
I just I can't stop
thinking about what you said.
I know, I'm as shocked as you
when your words have impact.
I just keep picturing this
kid out on the streets.
He lost his scholarship,
sold his baseball
equipment for drug money.
Let's step back
Eventually, he sells the
only thing he has left
- himself.
- All right
And soon, he becomes the
top prostitute in Oregon.
But he can't even take
pride in that distinction
because he could have
been so much more.
[WHISPERS] Why is this my life?
Oh, OK. Listen, you
you talk about, you know,
colonizing Mars, right?
Well, it doesn't have to be Mars.
It could be one of Jupiter's moons.
OK, whatever. Listen.
But that is is
gonna take big risks.
- Oh, yeah.
- You know?
And and a certain breed of person.
It's not gonna be the Mazurkians.
I'm sorry.
Your last name is Mazurkian?
- Yeah. How do you
- What?
- Why?
- OK, listen.
There there's a kid in
there on that table, right,
and and he needs help.
So tell me this, if
that were you in there,
would you trust you?
There's no one in the
world I'd trust more.
Then you know what you need to do.
Hmm.
Well played.
Mm.
[SIGHS] Hey, Alex.
Yeah?
Let someone know about that
soap dispenser, will you?
It's empty.
So thanks.
There's a chance this
will all blow over.
There's also a chance that
Matt will end up bald,
penniless, and inviting
this guy to live with him.
Come on.
Let's tell him what happened
before you fully lose your mind.
Seriously?
You're turning into Smeagol, so, yes.
[SIGHS]
So there's no damage or bruising,
and your vitals are totally normal,
but we just wanted you to be aware.
OK.
- Well, thanks for the heads-up.
- Of course.
I mean, it's the least we could do.
I really appreciate you telling me.
It's rare to find somebody so
- honest.
- Oh.
- It's nice.
- Oh.
Well, no biggie.
It is a biggie.
I'm Will, by the way.
Serena.
And I'm Matt.
Yeah, it feels good to tell the truth.
The patient took it well.
So well that he and Serena
have been talking for
26 minutes now, which is very cool.
[LAUGHING]
He's making her laugh,
and I told her I breastfeed
my mom in my dreams.
So
Down to the wire. Portland up by 2.
- No time-outs.
- Ron,
we need you on 106.
Can it wait 8.3 seconds?
Well it is a seizure,
but I'll see if he can hold
it in until you're ready.
You always got a little
something to say,
don't you, Parker?
Nobody talk to me or do anything.
Whoa!
Warriors at the buzzer!
Hell of an ending!
[LAUGHS] Whoo!
Game that close, everybody wins.
[BLEEP] Keith.
Hi, Joyce.
I'm calling to retract my retraction
because the surgery is back on, baby.
OK. Good to know, thanks.
Oh, I I also wanted to
come clean about something.
The much-heralded vegan
option is not a done deal yet.
We're already doing halal
and kosher, and it's a lot.
So I just wanted to get
out in front of that
before your fact checkers
sharpen their claws.
Yeah, at the end of the day,
I was probably in my head for nothing.
And if I had to guess, I bet
Tiger was just as worried
about stacking up to me.
Zero Olympic medals for this guy.
Yikes.
OK, subacromial space is ready.
Inserting balloon
through the lateral port.
And perfect.
So Dominic's surgery went well,
and I'm really happy for him.
And you know what?
Yeah, maybe I could stand to take
a few more risks in my life.
[CHUCKLES]
Scratchers.
I never do this.
Oh, [BLEEP].
That's $5 down the drain.
You know what? Just one more.
I gotta get my money back.
[BELL CLANGS]
sync & corrections by awaqeded