The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s01e15 Episode Script

El Gato! 1x15 - "Luck" Now this This is a good rake.
Real toothy.
- Beg pardon! - Hey! I ought to let him have it.
You promised not to curse anyone in the marketplace.
"You promised not to curse anyone in the marketplace.
" We must hurry back.
Pajuna's udder lotion spoils quickly.
The high road will be quicker.
What? Everyone knows the low road is the only way to go.
Oh, fiddle-fuff.
The high road is obviously faster.
Boop! Do not "boop" on my nose! Let us race! I will take the low road and you take the high road.
You will eat your words, Puss.
You'll be all like "Oh! These words, they are delicious!" Hi-yaw! Can you believe her? Babieca, we must win this race and we must do it via the low road! Hi-yah! So sorry, my friend! Bad luck! I don't know if he heard me.
Was it clear that I was cursing him? - Oh, sure.
- Not to me.
Curse for you then, too, Donkey Ears! I don't have You have anger issues, kid.
You call this a curse? I can hear everything! Faster, Babieca! We must win! Victory is mine! I have lost! That's ri Puss! Why are you looking at me like that? Uh, you're a You're a black cat! What? How? I have so many questions! Hmm.
Hmm.
You know what? This is actually quite stylish.
Perhaps black is the new orange, eh? Puss! Black cats cause bad luck! This could only happen if someone cursed you! Oh, all that bad luck and curse stuff is just old wives' tales.
Don't you get near me, Puss! Fear not, Mr.
Mayor.
I am good luck, no matter what sort of cat I am! Bad luck! A mere coincidence.
Hey! If Puss says he's not bad luck, then he isn't! No more than that apple! Puss and that apple are bad luck! Maybe not! Puss got near me and nothing happened to me.
Maybe old wives' tales were wrong about They were right! Ow! Ow! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, oh Ow! Ow! Ow! - Bad luck! - Bad luck! Everyone, please calm down.
I'm sure this is all just one big Dulcinea, I am sorry.
Pajuna is correct.
I have been cursed.
It is unsafe to be around me.
I would not want any of you to get hurt because of me.
And that is why I must leave you.
You can't leave me! Us.
I'm part of us.
Obviously.
What's that? I cannot put any of you in danger.
For the good of San Lorenzo, I must go.
But do not worry! I will find a cure for this curse.
Once I am free of all bad luck, I will return! This I swear! You're doing the right thing Just go! I will be back.
I am the wind.
I am the night.
Adventurer.
Outlaw.
Lover.
I am a nomad! A free spirit! Who am I kidding? I am a people person.
I mean, a cat cat.
A person cat? Also, I am hungry.
What is that wonderful smell? Let us find out together, nose! A warmth I have not felt since my days in San Lorenzo.
Which were technically today, as I left an hour ago.
But nothing will distract me from returning to Paella? Full of delicious shrimp? For me? My luck is not all that bad, it seems.
If I can find the cure for my curse as easily as I have found fire, paella, and a ball of yarn, my quest will soon be over.
Release thine hold upon that which does not to your belonging be! I'm sorry, what? He means drop the yarn.
No one knows why he can't just talk normal.
Not in front of the uninitiated! - All right.
Yeah, sure.
- Who is it that can sneak up on me? None but Francisco and his dark cabal of ebon felines! Better known as the Guild of Darkness! Darkness darkness darkness I'm sorry, it seemed like you wanted to fight.
Did I misread the situation? We wouldst sooner a mirror fight than he who looks emerged from one.
Francisco means we won't fight you 'cause you're like us.
Hi.
Baltasar, glad to meet you.
Hope you don't talk like an idiot.
I assure you, I do not.
- This is Phillip.
- Phillip Phillip Phillip­ That's his thing, the echoes.
Life hasn't been kind to him.
Thou art like us.
An outsider.
An outcast.
An out something else, outside of things.
A black cat! Black cat black cat black Boop! What is with all the "booping" lately? May I ask you, from one black cat to three others, how do you deal with all of the bad luck you cause? We learned how not to using the dark arts.
That is what I must learn! Thou wouldst know the secrets of the Guild of Darkness? Just that one.
Thou must learnest first the history of the Guild of Darkness! Darkness darkness darkness The guild has existed for untold centuries, a nomadic clan of cats of blackness.
Long ago, we didst discover The Book of the Mysterious Secrets of Luck Mysteries! The book didst teach us how to absorb bad luck and control it.
Thus did we turn our bad luck into mystical power! It's called a Luck Blast.
It's super dangerous, like, exploding brain dangerous.
- Neat, huh? - More than neat! I must see this book! We three are the keepers of the book, charged to showeth it to none.
Not even our moms! Then perhaps you might teach me its ways that I might undo my curse and return home to my friends.
Hmm.
Do you suggest, then, that we three become we four? He's asking if you want to be our friend.
Of course I will be your friend.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Ow! I wasn't doing the echo thing! I was really saying "Yes!" We shalt teach you the secret of the Luck Blast - And then I will be cured? - Certainly not! That is but the first step! There is a step after the Luck Blast.
- Then will I be cured? - Nay! Many more steps follow! But eventually I will be cured.
Once you have learned the teachings of the book, step-by-perilous-step, ready wilt thou be for the Ultimate Secret! Once I do all the steps, though Then you'll stop causing bad luck.
To joineth us, thou must utter no queries! Thou must jumpeth when we sayeth "Jumpeth!" Hmm? You have to do what we say no matter what.
It's, like, the number one rule.
I have never been a follower, but to undo my curse and return to San Lorenzo, I will, when told, jump eth.
Black cats forever! For the cure Black cats forever! Thou wilt be trained in the ways of the guild! We shall use the unluckiest of unlucky items! A ladder! Absorb the bad luck, and bend it to thine will! Boots on the table! Very bad luck! A broom which hath fallen in thine path! Bad luck most foul! Behold! The vilest bad luck of all.
A broken mirror! Huh? Puss who art in Boots, thou art prepared for the next step.
Huh.
Behold, acolyte! We are here to reclaim items which haveth been wrongly parted from us.
- He means - No.
I understood that one! We are going to steal back things thieves have stolen from you? You're getting the hang of this.
I will help you steal.
But only that which was stolen from you.
Hello, amigo! A black cat! Don't get your bad luck on me! We don't like black cats around here! I hear something.
Thieves! Thieves! Thieves! - Yes? - Not you! - Those cats stole from me! - We will not stand for thievery! Unless it's us doing it.
After them! Where do you think you're going, huh? Comrades, it hath been an honor to liveth, and now to dieth with you.
I'm okay with dying if it means I don't have to listen to you talk like that anymore.
None will die today! What are we afraid of? He's just one little cat.
I am of average height for my species! Put me down! And then Puss was like Ka-blam! My life flashed before my eyes.
It took two seconds and I still got bored in the middle.
Puss in Bootseth I welcome you to the Guild of Darkness.
One of us! One of us! One of us! This means a lot to me, my friends.
So, can I learn the Ultimate Secret and undo my curse? There be-eth one more thing thou must learneth first.
Of course there be-eth.
Thou must learneth the most difficult lesson of all.
It's the Baltasar? The Luck Bomb? Yes, right, yes! The Luck Bomb! What is this Luck Bomb? The Luck Bomb is the most powerful secret of all.
We canst not even demonstrate it, yes, lest its great power melteth thine face! I will learn this Luck Bomb! And then I will return home to San Lorenzo! Not so fast! It will take much work for you to learn the Luck Bomb.
Seriously? Of course, if thou dost not think thou canst do it Of course I can! I can do anything! And to be free of my curse, I will do whatever it takes! Black cats forever! Black cats forever! Black cats forever? Ow! Ow! Wait.
Those goblins also stole from you? Frequently robbed are we.
'Tis the lot of the black cat.
But I have never known goblins to And you are gone.
Rakes, hoes, bags of seed? These goblins are not thieves.
They are farmers! You cannot steal from them.
You're not the boss! I am! - But this is wrong! - The goblins will hear! We did.
Goblins! We got thieves in camp! Wait! Wait! We were just Luck Blast! Stop! Stop it! I cannot permit you to harm innocent goblins! Do not defy us, or we shall not cure thee of thine curse! Thou shalt never return to San Lorenzo! Then so be it.
- I cannot do what I know is wrong! - Thou hast madeth thine choice.
Prepare to be Luck Slapped! The one in the boots tried to stop them! We gotta help him! 'Tis thine lasteth chance! Join us, or thou shalt Ow! Leave them alone! You did the Luck Bomb! You can't do the Luck Bomb! Why not? Because we made it up! We we made it all up.
This is your journal! "Dear Diary, today we met this really neat cat.
His name is Puss in Boots, and we are going to trick him into staying with us forever!" We're black cats.
Nobody wants to hang out with us, I don't blame them.
And then we met you, and you were really cool we just wanted you to like us.
There are like 20 pages of "Mr.
and Mrs.
Francisco Puss in Boots" over and over.
Okay, I'm sorry! There's no Ultimate Secret.
There's no guild.
There's no nothing.
But you can do the Luck Blast! Yeah, all black cats can do that.
We just made up that guild stuff to keep you around.
We don't exactly get to meet a lot of new people.
We were lonely.
Then I am no closer to ridding myself of this bad luck curse! I will never be able to return to San Lorenzo! Actually, you are closer.
It's a super funny story, but I'm the one who cursed you? You are the goblin from the market! Yeah! I cursed you 'cause I thought you were a jerk.
But then you helped us out and well, here we are.
Sorry.
Anyway Are you going to "boop" on my nose? Oh, you want this "boop.
" Trust me.
Boop.
I am orange again! - Does this mean I am cured? - I said "Boop.
" Gentlemen, you tricked me because you wanted me around.
I understand this, I am amazing.
But consider this, you think yourselves outcasts, rejects, losers We never said losers.
But you have this amazing power within you! Think of what you could do in the world if you used this for good.
Ah You would be heroes! Well-liked heroes.
Oh.
- Oh, right.
- Heroes.
Start by apologizing to these goblins, and by throwing away that journal.
It is really creepy.
We're sorry, goblins.
Don't mention it, guy.
Hey, you should hang out with us! Yeah, we can be outcasts together! Incasts! We should also apologize to Puss in All right! - Paella! - Let's make some lunch.
Whoa.
He really is cool.
Cool cool Ow! Hello, everybody! - He's back! - You're back! Puss! Puss, you're you again! But how? It is a long story.
There were black cats, and goblins, and I did a Luck Bomb where I basically blew everything up with my bare paws! Boom! Well, I guess you have to be a black cat to do it.
Too bad.
What is important is that I am restored to my former glory.
- And now, Dulcinea? - Yes? Rematch! First one to the Thieves' Market wins! Low road rules! That's you eating your words!