The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s01e15 Episode Script
Stand Up and Get Knocked Down
[music continues]
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[phone ringing]
(female on voicemail) I can't come to the
phone right now. Leave your name and--
[phone ringing]
Hello.
T.J., Michael.
T.J., I'm in big trouble.
What? The joke
I gave you bombed?
- T.J., they're after me.
- Michael, relax.
Give me ten minutes.
I'll see you at the club.
I'm not at Bonkerz.
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
I'm atTenthon Hill.
Michael?
(T.J. on phone)
Michael? Michael?
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
So, Mr. Funnyman, thinking
of doing some more moonlighting?
The only moonlighting
I'm doing is
is working
at your club, Mr. Dexter.
You've got it all wrong.
No, college boy.
I got it right.
You bought yourself a one-way
ticket to the fast lane.
What's that?
It's something
that'll help you go bye-bye.
[dramatic music]
Michael?
Hey, hey, Michael.
Great place for
a coffee break here.
[intense music]
Michael?
[all applauding]
How about that for a start
for this evening, folks?
He's got a real laugh
or not, huh?
Big dude, a real big dude,
I'm telling you.
Don't quite your day job.
I used to date a girl
that was at the..
[all applauding]
Angelyou never heard
of public relations?
There's not much
I ain't heard of, Dexter.
Maybe, you've never
heard of this.
A smile won't crack your face.
That way you won't
scare away the customers.
[upbeat music]
The police will handle this.
You should tell them
about the club.
Michael was my friend.
I'm gonna find out
what happened to him.
Paramedics said
it was his heart.
But that was last night.
This afternoon
the police pathologist said
"Drugs induced
the heart attack."
This is nuts.
Maybe, but we're
after information.
You be the straight man.
I'll be the comedian.
Okay.
So, you don't mind
if I call Lieutenant Harris?
Just in case he needs
a little advice from an expert.
Clark, we're investigative
reporters, aren't we?
I don't ever wanna be standing
in the way of common sense.
[indistinct announcement]
Be right back.
[upbeat music]
Hey, there.
Table?
Yes, for a friend and a
scared to death contestant.
Come on.
[indistinct chatter]
I just did. I didn't know.
[laughing]
Well, stand up
and give it to 'em.
Thanks a lot, Angel.
Michael told me
you were an angel.
- You knew Michael?
- Yeah, we were classmates.
That's too bad.
He was a nice kid.
Yeah, everybody liked him.
Never made an enemy
his whole life that I knew of.
- Do you know of anyone?
- No, no.
Somebody tell you you're
anything more than a waitress?
I don't take orders from
anybody but you, Dexter.
Okay, then just clean up
the tables, fill up the glasses.
No need to hang out
with some college boy.
Who does that creep think he is?
Just stay out of it, okay?
I mean, for your own sake.
It can be life threatening.
That's what I said, Lana.
We're at Bonkerz.
You must be kidding.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Look, it's amateur night,
and T.J. is a contestant.
T.J.? Oh, I would not
miss this for the world.
- I'm on my way.
- Okay.
Can you do me a favor?
Call Lt. Harris
and have him send a patrol car
down to the club.
Sure, no problem.
I'll see you there. Bye.
[dramatic music]
[intense music]
Ah, that's a nice car.
Who, who owns that?
You've got a long nose, pal.
- I was thinking, it's like--
- What're you doing back here?
I've got a van parked somewhere.
You don't see van
one parked in this lot.
Now..
[dramatic music]
You're up next, kid.
You wanna prepare yourself,
there's a spot
behind that curtain.
[indistinct chatter]
(male #1) Enjoying
yourself? Have a good time.
O-oh, hang on to your patience
for another few minutes.
We'll be right back.
I've already got
a yata-yata-yata.
Really lucky
I never had acne.
Never had facial hair. Just give
and take in every situation.
Red light..
[intense music]
Red light you're seeing..
(T.J.)
You always pretend that..
So, I'll have one
of my boys transfer
what's outside in your car.
No. We don't wanna
transport it.
Deliver that when you
deliver the rest of it.
Okay.
I understand you had a problem
with your boy last night.
No boy of mine.
A college kid
and part-time comic
had dreams of going
into business for himself.
So we put him to sleep.
Permanently.
Hey, you!
I guess, uh,
can't read this line.
He was listening at the door.
Don't you recognize a comic
rehearsing his routine here?
And now, in a few moments
the fantastic new talent
Mr. T.J. White.
He was listening.
Guess you don't like
my jokes, huh?
You'll be on stage
in a few minutes, kid.
You better be funny.
Make sure he meets
his commitment.
Now, folks, coming up next
the fresh new talent,
Mr. T.J. White.
(male #1) He's hot, he's
funny, he's hilarious.
That college boy
you were talking to..
yeah, T.J. White.
Seems kind of nervous backstage.
So, I want you to bring him
a coke, and load it with this.
All of it.
What, are you crazy, Dexter?
That stuff packs twice
the wallop of PCP.
He won't live long enough
to put the glass down.
You'll do it.
Or I'll sting you
like very very much.
And that can kill you too.
Please, Dexter.
Please don't make me do it.
Please.
Alright. T.J., the audience
is ready. Are you ready?
- Yeah!
- Are you ready?
Alright, this guy is funny.
He's funnier than
that tie you're wearing.
We're gonna bring him out.
- Here, this might help.
- Thanks, Angel.
Guy that came in with me,
tell him something, okay.
Tell him that..
[people laughing]
(male #1)
Here's the big moment.
Now, how about
a nice round of applause
for my man, Mr. T.J. White.
Come on, give it up.
Hi, everyone.
(all)
Hi.
It's great to be here.
I feel very lucky.
Actually, I'm a very
lucky person in general.
II never had
facial hair or acne.
[intense music]
Hey, I like your shirt, guy.
That brings to mind,
cheap oil paintings.
[music continues]
And black light.
No reason to get upset.
We're in a comedy club, right?
Aren't we lucky?
(Michael)
T.J., I'm in big trouble.
Well, here we all are.
And the bad.
Ugly, I mean ugly.
(Michael)
T.J., they're after me.
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
What are you staring at?
(Angel)
Just stay out of it, okay?
Beam me up, Scotty.
Beam me up.
Uh, jokes, jokes.
We need some comedy.
Tell some jokes here.
Got to be funny.
I got my jokes here.
Ha ha. Jokes.
A refrigerator.
Think about a refrigerator.
I, I have guacamole
and it's green now.
And..
[blabbering]
How come the college boy
isn't taking his final bow?
I don't know, Dexter.
Gave it to him
just like you told me.
Just what I thought.
Don't be mad.
I'll make it up to you.
Not this time, sweets.
Put here in the storeroom.
I'll take care of her later.
[intense music]
Nurse.
Nurse, nurse, nurse!
(Michael)
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
(Angel) It can be life
threatening, life threatening.
And you have a familiar face.
Aren't you here to save my act?
(Dexter) So we put him
to sleeppermanently.
Oh, take my life, please.
(Michael)
T.J., they're after me.
(Dexter)
Permanently, permanently.
[screaming]
Come on, T.J.,
I'm gonna get you out of here.
Man in the mirror.
I saw the man.
Don't try to talk.
Don't talk.
[heart beating]
I saw the man
and the two and everything.
Gotta get you to a hospital.
Since you're so curious,
college boy, I'll show you.
Show you the whole operation.
After you.
[dramatic music]
Take a good look, college boy.
It's the last thing
you'll ever see.
Now, put him in a chair.
So, that's how
you did it to Michael?
Wicked stuff.
Two minutes after
contact with the skin
it's absorbed
into the blood stream.
Too bad, T.J.
We'll never know what you
could've done up there.
Alright, move them.
[alarm ringing]
[dramatic music]
[ringing continues]
- Are you alright?
- I think so.
- T.J., T.J., I'm so sorry.
- He'll be alright.
I checked him out earlier.
I need you to take him
out front and wait for me.
[dramatic music]
Please, please, everyone,
there's no need to panic.
The fire has been contained.
Hey.
[saxophone music]
Run him down!
T.J., look out!
[dramatic music]
Ah, why did I do that?
[siren blaring]
You'll find all the evidence
you need in the trunk, officer.
T.J., T.J.
You okay?
[upbeat music]
Clark didn't tell me
why he couldn't be here tonight.
But you know
how Clark is sometimes.
- I wish Angel were here.
- I know.
She's on the way back.
In a couple of weeks you can
visit her at the rehab clinic.
Yeah.
Now, go out there
and break a leg.
[all applauding]
I'd like to introduce to you one
of the newer upstart here.
Please put your hand together
for my man, Mr. T.J. White.
Thank you, man.
Hi, everybody. I'm really luck
to be here at Bonkerz tonight.
In fact, I'm lucky to be
anywhere, any night.
You are looking at a young man
who has been land mined
trash compacted, dropped off
a 20 storied building
sniper attacked,
hurricane abused
mowed over by a limo,
drugged and beat unconscious.
And I'm not complaining
or anything, but I am learning.
[all applauding]
["Adventures of Superman"
theme by Leon Klatzkin]
Captioned by Grant Brown
[music continues]
[dramatic music]
[phone ringing]
(female on voicemail) I can't come to the
phone right now. Leave your name and--
[phone ringing]
Hello.
T.J., Michael.
T.J., I'm in big trouble.
What? The joke
I gave you bombed?
- T.J., they're after me.
- Michael, relax.
Give me ten minutes.
I'll see you at the club.
I'm not at Bonkerz.
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
I'm atTenthon Hill.
Michael?
(T.J. on phone)
Michael? Michael?
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
So, Mr. Funnyman, thinking
of doing some more moonlighting?
The only moonlighting
I'm doing is
is working
at your club, Mr. Dexter.
You've got it all wrong.
No, college boy.
I got it right.
You bought yourself a one-way
ticket to the fast lane.
What's that?
It's something
that'll help you go bye-bye.
[dramatic music]
Michael?
Hey, hey, Michael.
Great place for
a coffee break here.
[intense music]
Michael?
[all applauding]
How about that for a start
for this evening, folks?
He's got a real laugh
or not, huh?
Big dude, a real big dude,
I'm telling you.
Don't quite your day job.
I used to date a girl
that was at the..
[all applauding]
Angelyou never heard
of public relations?
There's not much
I ain't heard of, Dexter.
Maybe, you've never
heard of this.
A smile won't crack your face.
That way you won't
scare away the customers.
[upbeat music]
The police will handle this.
You should tell them
about the club.
Michael was my friend.
I'm gonna find out
what happened to him.
Paramedics said
it was his heart.
But that was last night.
This afternoon
the police pathologist said
"Drugs induced
the heart attack."
This is nuts.
Maybe, but we're
after information.
You be the straight man.
I'll be the comedian.
Okay.
So, you don't mind
if I call Lieutenant Harris?
Just in case he needs
a little advice from an expert.
Clark, we're investigative
reporters, aren't we?
I don't ever wanna be standing
in the way of common sense.
[indistinct announcement]
Be right back.
[upbeat music]
Hey, there.
Table?
Yes, for a friend and a
scared to death contestant.
Come on.
[indistinct chatter]
I just did. I didn't know.
[laughing]
Well, stand up
and give it to 'em.
Thanks a lot, Angel.
Michael told me
you were an angel.
- You knew Michael?
- Yeah, we were classmates.
That's too bad.
He was a nice kid.
Yeah, everybody liked him.
Never made an enemy
his whole life that I knew of.
- Do you know of anyone?
- No, no.
Somebody tell you you're
anything more than a waitress?
I don't take orders from
anybody but you, Dexter.
Okay, then just clean up
the tables, fill up the glasses.
No need to hang out
with some college boy.
Who does that creep think he is?
Just stay out of it, okay?
I mean, for your own sake.
It can be life threatening.
That's what I said, Lana.
We're at Bonkerz.
You must be kidding.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Look, it's amateur night,
and T.J. is a contestant.
T.J.? Oh, I would not
miss this for the world.
- I'm on my way.
- Okay.
Can you do me a favor?
Call Lt. Harris
and have him send a patrol car
down to the club.
Sure, no problem.
I'll see you there. Bye.
[dramatic music]
[intense music]
Ah, that's a nice car.
Who, who owns that?
You've got a long nose, pal.
- I was thinking, it's like--
- What're you doing back here?
I've got a van parked somewhere.
You don't see van
one parked in this lot.
Now..
[dramatic music]
You're up next, kid.
You wanna prepare yourself,
there's a spot
behind that curtain.
[indistinct chatter]
(male #1) Enjoying
yourself? Have a good time.
O-oh, hang on to your patience
for another few minutes.
We'll be right back.
I've already got
a yata-yata-yata.
Really lucky
I never had acne.
Never had facial hair. Just give
and take in every situation.
Red light..
[intense music]
Red light you're seeing..
(T.J.)
You always pretend that..
So, I'll have one
of my boys transfer
what's outside in your car.
No. We don't wanna
transport it.
Deliver that when you
deliver the rest of it.
Okay.
I understand you had a problem
with your boy last night.
No boy of mine.
A college kid
and part-time comic
had dreams of going
into business for himself.
So we put him to sleep.
Permanently.
Hey, you!
I guess, uh,
can't read this line.
He was listening at the door.
Don't you recognize a comic
rehearsing his routine here?
And now, in a few moments
the fantastic new talent
Mr. T.J. White.
He was listening.
Guess you don't like
my jokes, huh?
You'll be on stage
in a few minutes, kid.
You better be funny.
Make sure he meets
his commitment.
Now, folks, coming up next
the fresh new talent,
Mr. T.J. White.
(male #1) He's hot, he's
funny, he's hilarious.
That college boy
you were talking to..
yeah, T.J. White.
Seems kind of nervous backstage.
So, I want you to bring him
a coke, and load it with this.
All of it.
What, are you crazy, Dexter?
That stuff packs twice
the wallop of PCP.
He won't live long enough
to put the glass down.
You'll do it.
Or I'll sting you
like very very much.
And that can kill you too.
Please, Dexter.
Please don't make me do it.
Please.
Alright. T.J., the audience
is ready. Are you ready?
- Yeah!
- Are you ready?
Alright, this guy is funny.
He's funnier than
that tie you're wearing.
We're gonna bring him out.
- Here, this might help.
- Thanks, Angel.
Guy that came in with me,
tell him something, okay.
Tell him that..
[people laughing]
(male #1)
Here's the big moment.
Now, how about
a nice round of applause
for my man, Mr. T.J. White.
Come on, give it up.
Hi, everyone.
(all)
Hi.
It's great to be here.
I feel very lucky.
Actually, I'm a very
lucky person in general.
II never had
facial hair or acne.
[intense music]
Hey, I like your shirt, guy.
That brings to mind,
cheap oil paintings.
[music continues]
And black light.
No reason to get upset.
We're in a comedy club, right?
Aren't we lucky?
(Michael)
T.J., I'm in big trouble.
Well, here we all are.
And the bad.
Ugly, I mean ugly.
(Michael)
T.J., they're after me.
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
What are you staring at?
(Angel)
Just stay out of it, okay?
Beam me up, Scotty.
Beam me up.
Uh, jokes, jokes.
We need some comedy.
Tell some jokes here.
Got to be funny.
I got my jokes here.
Ha ha. Jokes.
A refrigerator.
Think about a refrigerator.
I, I have guacamole
and it's green now.
And..
[blabbering]
How come the college boy
isn't taking his final bow?
I don't know, Dexter.
Gave it to him
just like you told me.
Just what I thought.
Don't be mad.
I'll make it up to you.
Not this time, sweets.
Put here in the storeroom.
I'll take care of her later.
[intense music]
Nurse.
Nurse, nurse, nurse!
(Michael)
I'll be dead in ten minutes.
(Angel) It can be life
threatening, life threatening.
And you have a familiar face.
Aren't you here to save my act?
(Dexter) So we put him
to sleeppermanently.
Oh, take my life, please.
(Michael)
T.J., they're after me.
(Dexter)
Permanently, permanently.
[screaming]
Come on, T.J.,
I'm gonna get you out of here.
Man in the mirror.
I saw the man.
Don't try to talk.
Don't talk.
[heart beating]
I saw the man
and the two and everything.
Gotta get you to a hospital.
Since you're so curious,
college boy, I'll show you.
Show you the whole operation.
After you.
[dramatic music]
Take a good look, college boy.
It's the last thing
you'll ever see.
Now, put him in a chair.
So, that's how
you did it to Michael?
Wicked stuff.
Two minutes after
contact with the skin
it's absorbed
into the blood stream.
Too bad, T.J.
We'll never know what you
could've done up there.
Alright, move them.
[alarm ringing]
[dramatic music]
[ringing continues]
- Are you alright?
- I think so.
- T.J., T.J., I'm so sorry.
- He'll be alright.
I checked him out earlier.
I need you to take him
out front and wait for me.
[dramatic music]
Please, please, everyone,
there's no need to panic.
The fire has been contained.
Hey.
[saxophone music]
Run him down!
T.J., look out!
[dramatic music]
Ah, why did I do that?
[siren blaring]
You'll find all the evidence
you need in the trunk, officer.
T.J., T.J.
You okay?
[upbeat music]
Clark didn't tell me
why he couldn't be here tonight.
But you know
how Clark is sometimes.
- I wish Angel were here.
- I know.
She's on the way back.
In a couple of weeks you can
visit her at the rehab clinic.
Yeah.
Now, go out there
and break a leg.
[all applauding]
I'd like to introduce to you one
of the newer upstart here.
Please put your hand together
for my man, Mr. T.J. White.
Thank you, man.
Hi, everybody. I'm really luck
to be here at Bonkerz tonight.
In fact, I'm lucky to be
anywhere, any night.
You are looking at a young man
who has been land mined
trash compacted, dropped off
a 20 storied building
sniper attacked,
hurricane abused
mowed over by a limo,
drugged and beat unconscious.
And I'm not complaining
or anything, but I am learning.
[all applauding]
["Adventures of Superman"
theme by Leon Klatzkin]
Captioned by Grant Brown