The Class s01e15 Episode Script

Hey, guys! Oh, pizza! Yeah, it's from that new place in Villanova.
They got extra cheese in the crust.
Oh, that's great.
Could you get it the hell out of here?! What's happening? I'm sorry.
It's just Yonk and I are on this really strict diet.
His cholesterol is up to almost 400.
Is that high? Not for a couple.
Anyway, I'm trying to be supportive.
So for the last two weeks, neither of us have had any meat or fried foods or cheese or pepperoni or crust.
How's that going? Really great! - Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
I'm eating all kinds of healthy goodies.
You know, pumpkin seeds, and rice cakes.
If I have a craving for a french fry I can just reach for a carrot stick.
It's like a healthy french fry that makes you mad.
Well, we're done with the pizza anyway.
Oh, great.
Also, if you're gonna throw the rest of it out, uh, when you put it in the garbage can you make sure that it touches other garbage? What? Well, yeah.
'Cause if I'm lying in bed tonight, and I know that there's pizza in the garbage that's only touched the box, I'm gonna eat that son of a bitch! These are all pictures of Benjamin Chow? Mm-hmm.
She followed him around for months, hiding in bushes, behind mail boxes, etc.
Ooh! What's etcetera? - No, "Mail Boxes, Etc.
" - Oh! And now you're dating him.
Yes, I am! Wow, you're an inspiration to stalkers everywhere.
You got your guy, and you didn't even have to dig a little room under your house.
So I assume you haven't shown him these.
Dude, I'm creepy.
I'm not stupid.
- Hey! - Hey.
What's going on? Can we borrow your coffee maker? Okay.
Don't you wanna know why? Well, I'm sure it's a gripping tale.
We're throwing our first dinner party together! She's very excited.
I'm very excited.
It's Friday night, and it's gonna be the two of us and Duncan, you and Benjamin, Nicole, and you and Palmer.
And you Kyle.
Kyle! Hi.
Hey, whose Ferrari's in the driveway? Oh, it's, uh, Jerry Rice's.
He and Yonk are working on some speech for a charity thing they're doing.
Hold on.
Jerry Rice is here? Yeah.
So, like, you and I are under the same roof as Jerry Rice? Yes.
So, like, if this place fell down on us, then I would be trapped under the same rubble as Jerry Rice? Yeah, but they'd probably rescue him first.
I would want them to.
All right.
Let's get outta here.
Oh, Jerry.
This is my friend Dunc.
How's it going? Wow, it is awesome to meet you man.
I am the-- Oh, man.
Sorry.
It's my mom.
She's not gonna believe who I'm talking to.
Ma? Guess who I'm with.
If you could just say hi.
How you doing? Guess who that was.
No.
No.
No, why are you guessing dead people? Just tell her who you are.
I'm Jerry Rice.
No, that's not a hint.
She's still guessing.
I'm sorry.
Sugar, we're outta here.
You have fun at your little dinner party.
Okay, and I want you to have fun too, but remember: healthy choices.
Oh, come on.
I mean, we're going to a steakhouse.
I beat Jerry at pool.
He has to buy me a steak.
Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind buying you a nice piece of salmon.
I'll be happy to buy the little lady a salmon.
Man, I'm never gonna hear the end of it.
No, that's not true.
Jerry, please.
This is about my husband's health.
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
Now, remember, this one is on me.
So you don't have to bring your purse.
- Hey! - Hey.
I got two bags of ice and two numb nipples.
Oh! You wanna taste the chicken? It's not fish? Nope, chicken.
Ah.
Is there fish in it? No, no, no, no.
That's just the spices.
It's exotic.
It's Moroccan chicken.
A hh! Yeah, and I even went to this special grocery store to get all the stuff for it.
Come on.
Taste it.
Okay.
Mm! - It's pungent.
- Ha ha.
Is it good? Good doesn't even describe it.
Forget good.
[gasps.]
Really? Haven't you tasted it? No, I can't.
The vegetarian thing.
But it's really yummy? My taste buds are like, "Wow!" We should probably go in.
Do we have to? We're already late.
Isn't your sister going to be pissed? She just spent the last four months in a wheelchair.
I could take her.
Let's go.
You, uh, you need a minute? That's my cell phone.
Oh! Well, then I'm kind of embarrassed for what I was doing to it.
Might've just made a call.
Hi! (all) Hey! Great you made it! Everybody, dinner is served.
(Richie) So if you'd all please make your way to the dining room.
Oh, good.
You're here! Um, hi.
I'm Kyle.
I'm a huge fan.
I saw you play last year with the Philadelphia Orchestra.
You were extraordinary.
Oh, thank you.
I really appreciate it.
This is so cool! I met two famous people in one day.
Jerry Rice and, uh whoever you are! What are we having? Moroccan chicken.
[whispering.]
Sorry.
[whispering.]
Sorry.
[whispering.]
So sorry.
What am I tasting? Um, tires, socks.
Did she say Moroccan chicken or "Mor-rotten" icken? Duncan, you're a big guy, so you get a big piece.
It's not my fault I'm big.
What is this orange thing? It's a kind of sweet potato.
It's a North African tuber.
There's tumors in this?! No, tu-BER! Like a yam? Oh! Tumors made sense.
Is there cream in it? Uh, a little bit.
Oh, shoot! Yonk and I are on these strict diets.
I'm sorry.
Oh, no, no, no.
That's okay.
Duncan, more for you.
Hello? Hey, you left your cell phone at my house.
(Duncan) Oh, thank God.
When I saw my name on the caller ID, I thought it was, like, me calling from the future.
So what are you doing? Just eating a stupid salad.
Almost makes me wish I'd eaten that chicken at Lina's.
Woman, you do not know what you're saying! Okay, so what are you doing? On the way back from Lina's, I picked up some actual food.
Yeah? What are you eating? Cheesesteak.
That sounds nice.
You know, I gotta come by and get my phone anyway.
I could stop pick you up a steak if you want.
No, I couldn't.
- Did you get peppers on it? - Uh-huh.
- Sweet or hot? - Both.
I like it sweet and hot! Okay, I need it.
I need it right now! Get over here! Hurry! Wow, a lotta people didn't eat their chicken.
Huh.
You know what I'll bet happened? Everyone was having so much fun talking, they didn't get a chance to eat.
They say you know it's a good dinner party when no one's touched their food.
I never heard that.
Well, they say it! Seems a shame to throw it all out.
Eh, whatcha gonna do? Hey! You didn't get to eat any of yours.
Oh, Iwas I was so busy hosting.
I got full on good times.
Oh, but you must be starving! Here.
Eat it now.
Okay! Here I go.
How is it? It's funny.
As it cools, the flavors intensify.
This is so wrong! You're all mine, you meaty bastard! Oh, it's hot.
Oh, it's so hot! Mm! Godit's good.
It's so good.
Oh, yeah.
OhmyGod.
[mumbling.]
I can explain.
And in my own house.
This isn't what it looks like.
And you.
I thought you were my friend.
I'm sorry.
I-- Maybe I should go.
Yes, you should.
It was just this one time, I swear.
And I had the poached salmon tonight.
I feel like such a fool! Sweetie, I'm sorry.
- Don't! - I did-- Just don't.
God, what did we ever do to the people of Morocco to deserve that dish? No, no, no.
Don't blame Morocco.
I've been there tons of times, and I've never tasted anything remotely like what we ate tonight.
Who are you? What? I've been to Morocco tons of times.
Shut up! I have! I play a concert there every year.
- You'd love it.
- Morocco.
Yeah, it feels like you're on another planet all hot and exotic like you.
[scoffing.]
Yeah.
Say more.
Well, I'm playing there again in May.
You should definitely come with me.
May, like, three months from now, May? Yeah, you have a conflict or something? No, no, no.
Just, uh, don't usually plan that far ahead.
Well, now you have a plan.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, are you all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just going to the bathroom.
Go back to sleep.
- Morning.
- You're up early.
Just going for a run.
You know, you die either way.
Thought I heard voices.
Hey, early bird! Heyworm.
So, um, what's up with the one boot? Oh, uh, I left Benjamin's in kind of a hurry.
You guys have a fight or something? No, he just told me that he wants to take me to Morocco in May.
You should totally go to Morocco! I went there a couple years ago.
It was fantastic! Sowhat's the problem? The guy you stalked coming on too strong? Yeah, that's it.
Then why don't you wanna go to Morocco with him? I do want to go to Morocco with him.
The minute he said it, I started picturing us there, and it was great.
Well, of course it's great.
It's Morocco! No one's arguing Morocco's not great.
Good, 'cause they would lose.
Sweetie, would you just give us a minute? Sure! Oh! I'll get you my maps.
You're gonna have the best time! - Really? - Okay.
All right.
Soso he wants to take you to Morocco, and you want to go.
Yeah.
I can see why you're so upset.
Just because you want Morocco doesn't mean you get Morocco.
Let's be realistic here.
Something is gonna screw this up.
So I don't wanna set myself up for Morocco if it's never gonna happen.
Well, I can guarantee you it's never gonna happen.
- Why? - Why?! You sneak out on a guy in the middle of the night? It kinda sends a message.
Oh, God.
I'm so messed up.
You really are.
I just I just don't wanna be Lina.
What do you mean? Well, she's always like, "Oh, I'm so in love! He's the one!" And then two weeks later, her heart's getting its ass kicked.
Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, but your sister's heart's doing just fine.
I mean, you know, she had to go through some stuff, but it seems worth it.
She's with a guy who loves her, even though she does unspeakable things to chicken.
Yeah, I guess.
I want you to have Morocco.
What do you care? I care.
Well, it's too late now.
Maybe not.
I mean, you can still go back over there.
What, now? I just snuck out.
- So sneak back in! - Yeah.
- Can you do that? - Yeah! Yeah.
But you gotta get over there before he wakes up.
- That's not lame, or-- - No.
- Come on.
Let's go! - Okay.
- Go.
- All right.
- Hey, look-- you're running! - Shut up! I'm such an idiot.
I meant Spain.
I've never been to Morocco.
Morning.
Morning.
Um kind of overdressed? Oh, I got chilly.
- Did you? - Yeah.
Hmm.
Actually, uh I was out for a bit.
I know.
Oh.
But I had a feeling that you'd be coming back.
Why? - Yeah.
- Thank you.
Look.
We have a problem.
Oh.
Okay.
I like you.
Well, I just don't see how we're gonna get past that.
I'm not good at the liking thing.
Not liking I have got down.
But actually liking, um I'm sort of in uncharted waters here.
Well, you're you're gonna hate what I have to say.
What? I like you too.
Oh, crap.
Are you sure that you want this? You do not know what you're in for.
Okay.
You were warned.
So, uh, are you still feeling a little chilly? I'm definitely feeling warmer.
Well, maybe we could take some of this off.
We could.
Maybeleave the boot.
Ooh.
Interesting.
What do you want for dinner? Maybe Chinese.
We've still got the chicken.
Right-- the chicken which would be delicious! Obviously.
But then what would you have? I can just make a salad for me.
Or we could both have a salad.
Or you could have a salad with your chicken.
Or I could have a salad and no chicken with no chicken! What? I'm saying no more chicken! No chicken! Why? The chicken is evil.
It's really that bad? You have no idea.
It tasted like an aquarium.
I thought "chicken of the sea" was an expression.
But apparently, I found one! Well, if you knew it was so bad, why did you let me serve it? Because you were so excited about it.
You went to the special store to buy the tumors.
Tubers! You didn't even make any side dishes.
There was nowhere to hide from the relentless, punishing poultry.
Okay, okay, I get it! It was bad chicken.
It wasn't just bad.
It was the Hitler of chickens.
It was the enemy of all things.
Why are you smiling? We're having our first fight.
Yeah, we are.
It's like a relationship milestone.
Is it? Totally! It's like even more than our first dinner party.
Huh, well, I guess.
So what do we do now? Do we have to finish it? Uh, I think we should.
'Cause, um we kinda need to get through it to get to the make-up sex.
God, do you run every morning? Pretty much.
Why does that makee wanna have a cigarette? So at least you're sneaking home with both boots this time.
No, I'm not sneaking.
He stayed here last night.
I just ran out to get us some coffee.
And by ran, I mean I got into my car and I drove two blocks.
Oh, so you two are still-- Yeah, we're okay.
Well, that's good.
It really is.
God, I like this guy so much.
Yeah? Yeah.
It's crazy.
When I'm with him, it's, like, I don't know It's like I can actually imagine-- (Ethan) Morocco? What the hell? Hey.
You left your phone again.
Thanks.
Come on in? Okay.
So, uh, things okay with you and Yonk? Yeah, I think we'll be okay.
We had a long talk and agreed to start seeing a nutritionist.
What happened last night can never, ever happen again.
I understand.
We're really trying to make it work this time.
I get it.
What do I smell? I was cooking up some bacon.
All right.
If we're gonna keep doing this, we gotta be super careful! There's also a lasagna.
Oh, you know I'm gonna hit that!