The Garfield Show (2008) s01e15 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
[horns honking]
Mind if I stop and buy a few things?
Mind? As long as they're edible,
why should we mind?
I'll take a nap while Odie
sticks his head out the window
and lets his tongue flap in the breeze.
[yipping]
Hey, for a dog,
that's heavyweight intellectual activity.
-I'll dream about some edible things.
-Boy, it's a beautiful night.
A clear sky and all those stars; it makes
you wonder if there are people out there.
People on other worlds
or from other times visiting us.
[unintelligible shouting over radio]
I'll be home in 90 nanoseconds, Miriam.
[Miriam shouting]
Aah! Cheese puffs? I got you a 500-year
supply of those just 300 years ago.
[Miriam shouting]
Alright, alright.
I'll pick up some before I get home.
I'm going to have to stop off at Earth
in the 21st century.
[monitor beeping]
[Miriam shouting]
Okay, okay.
I'll get you a jelly doughnut too.
[yips]
Wait just outside the door, Odie.
-Garfield, are you coming?
-I can't answer you.
In addition to the fact that I can't talk,
I'm also asleep.
We'll be back soon.
Okay. A 500-year supply
of cheese puffs and a jelly doughnut.
I guess that's a balanced diet.
[snoring]
Spider.
I know what you're thinking.
It's just a little, harmless spider,
not hurting anyone.
And you're right, of course.
So you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna swat that spider!
I've got you now! Now I've got you! Now!
Okay, this time for sure!
Okay, then this time!
Okay, this is it, spider! You're toast!
You're an ex-spider!
You're gonna be flatter
than one of Jon's soufflés!
[spider squeals]
[Garfield] Yaaaaaa!
[clang!]
-[thud!]
-[monitor beeping]
[engine revs]
[Garfield screaming]
[Spider chuckles]
[Garfield screaming]
[alien screaming]
Oh, my! Where am I?
And why do I have the feeling
I don't wanna know?
Jon? Odie?
Anybody I know?
I'll even settle for Nermal.
Hello, somebody!
I don't know where I am, but I have
the feeling they like cheese here.
At last! Someone I know! Hey, Squeak!
[roaring, speaking alien language]
Boy, you are so not Squeak!
[snarling]
Sorry, I just remembered to make
an appointment to not be here now.
[aliens snarl]
Or here.
[aliens yelling]
I don't suppose it would do any good
to mention that I never chase mice.
Help! Help!
Guys, give me a break.
I haven't eaten and it's dinnertime.
[aliens] Dinnertime?
That's right. Dinnertime.
[cheering]
Hey, I think they're taking me to dinner.
This is great.
This is not great.
[speaking alien language]
Oh, no! Ketchup!
-[speaking alien language]
-Oh, no! Lettuce and tomato!
-Tee-hee.
Hey, would you please hold the onion?
Oh.
[speaking alien language]
Thank you.
[aliens giggle]
-[fork tines clanging]
-[aliens jeering]
I think this sandwich
had better be to-go.
[aliens shouting]
[Garfield] Help!
One of these must start it,
or turn on the CD player or something.
-Ooh.
-[engines revving]
-[beep]
-Yaaaaaaaa!
I don't like hairy sandwiches, anyway.
There must be some instructions in here
on how to fly this thing.
An instruction manual!
I'm saved, I'm saved, I'm saved!
Okay. "How to steer craft. See page 19."
Page 19, page 19
Here it is. Page 19.
"To steer craft, grab hold of the bleen
and rotate it into the zirman position
for five freebs."
I'm not saved,
I'm not saved, I'm not saved!
Another weird world.
Who or what lives on it?
It's probably some horrible monster
even worse than those mice people.
Something's coming.
One of those horrible monsters, I know.
Here it comes!
It's gonna be the ugliest, most hideous
thing in the universe, I know it!
[both] Hey, who are you?
I'm Garfield the Cat!
You can't be Garfield! I'm Garfield!
Oh, yeah.
If you're Garfield, then answer me this.
What do you do all day?
I sleep, eat, and annoy small puppies.
-What do you do all day?
-I sleep, eat, and annoy a puppy.
[both] Hey, maybe you are Garfield.
But if you're Garfield, then who am I?
I know who you are. You're Garfield.
Isn't there anything different about us?
Well, there is this one thing.
Every so often, I turn into one of these.
[roaring]
Yikes!
[screams]
What a horrifying, awful experience.
And he was so cute up until the near end.
I wonder where I'm gonna wind up now.
Hey, I know this house! This is our house!
This is where I live!
I'm home! I'm home!
It's almost time for lunch and I'm home.
[sniffs] Mmm.
From that smell, I can tell Jon's
cooking up something wonderful.
Garfield, what good timing.
I have lunch ready.
You look shocked.
Didn't you know we're all
spider-people on this planet?
Aren't we, Odie?
-And I cooked you a nice fly lasagna.
-[maniacal laughter]
-[flies buzzing]
-No! No!
And after we finish our flies,
we're going to indulge
in our favorite pastime.
[spiders squeaking]
After him! Swat him
the way he always swatted us!
[Odie barks]
[gasping, shrieking]
No! Stop! I like spiders!
I always liked spiders!
I've never hurt a spider!
See? I'll even stoop to lying.
Please no! Don't swat the cat!
All done shopping, Odie.
I hope Garfield
wasn't too bored waiting in the car.
You okay in there, Garfield?
Garfield?
-Odie! Garfield's missing!
-[Odie] No!
Hey, mister. Have you seen an orange cat?
My cat is missing. He's
What did you buy?
A 500-year supply of cheese puffs. Why?
Oh, never mind that. My cat is missing.
Let me put these in my vehicle
and I'll look for your cat.
Hey! Not only is your cat gone,
but so is my vehicle.
[Odie whimpers]
Maybe whoever took
your vehicle took my cat.
-We need to call the police.
-No, you don't need the police.
I have this remote homing device
to bring my vehicle back
when I lose it or leave it somewhere.
[Garfield gasping]
My only chance is to get back
to that spaceship-thingy car!
Oh, no! It's taking off without me!
[Garfield screams]
[screaming]
This is a waste of time.
I'm calling the police
to look for my cat and
I'm telling you, relax.
See?
[laughing maniacally]
Garfield!
Garfield, it's okay.
You're back and you're safe.
Okey-dokey, you got your cat back.
I got to get home.
[electronics beeping]
-[engine revs]
-Bye now!
[Garfield muttering]
I don't know
what happened either, Garfield.
And I have a strange feeling
we never will.
Oh, confound it!
-I forgot Miriam's jelly doughnut!
-[Odie] Huh?
[screams]
[spider giggling]
[ding-ding]
[clock ticking]
[ringing]
[gasps] Seven o'clock!
Oh no, I overslept!
Some of us prefer to oversleep.
Sometimes,
I wish time would just stand still.
Wake up, Garfield! It's late!
It's only late if you want
to do something with your day.
I planned to just lie around,
so I'm right on time.
[chuckles]
Here's your morning lasagna, Garfield.
[Garfield sighs]
Uggh!
Huh?
My frozen lasagna is still frozen.
Ahem!
Sorry if it's not right.
I think my timer is busted.
[Garfield sighs]
-[timer ticking]
-[timer dings]
Time for no more timer.
[thud!]
Oh, well. At least there's coffee.
[Jon] I'm late! Bye!
That's right.
Garfield Cat now comes
in the new coffee flavor.
I forgot to put the trash cans out!
-What's that you got there?
-Some sort of old pocket watch.
I fished it out of a can
a few blocks back.
I thought it might be worth something.
It's trash. It ain't worth nothing.
Jon's always so worried
about enough time to do everything.
-You know what I worry about?
-What?
Whether I have enough time
to finish my morning nap
before I start my afternoon nap.
Don't bother me unless there's
a serious emergency
or ice cream.
-Huh?
-[Garfield sighs]
[Garfield snoring]
-[Odie humming]
-Huh?
[Odie sniffing]
[Garfield snoring]
[Odie whimpers]
You're waking me up.
This better be important.
So you found an old watch.
Big, fat, hairy deal.
Maybe it's a stopwatch.
Let's see what happens if I click this.
[click]
Huh? What? [gasps]
Huh?
Okay. Let's see what happens
when I click it again.
-[click]
-[Odie barking]
[Odie barking]
[click]
-[click]
-[barking]
-[click]
-[barking]
-[click]
-[barking]
-[click]
-[barking]
[chuckles]
[barking]
This is great!
[straining]
[snickers]
[click]
[barks, yowls]
[mumbling]
[Garfield laughing]
Boy, I I may look like an ordinary,
slightly overweight pussycat,
but with this in my claws,
I am the Time Master, Master, Master
Wait till Jon tries
to rush me around tomorrow morning.
[ringing]
Seven o'clock! Oh no, I overslept!
-Not today, alarm clock.
-I've got to go get
Much better.
[yawns, sighs]
[snoring]
[sighs]
I got another three hours
of beautiful, glorious sleep.
And I see it's still seven o'clock.
[stomach growls]
[gasps] Tummy rumbling.
-Time to get Jon started on breakfast.
-[click]
breakfast on the table.
Now, this is the way to be in a hurry.
Take your time.
Here you are, Garfield.
Sweet Oat Crunchies.
One percent oat, 99 percent sugar.
An important part
of my balanced breakfast.
-Remember, you're on a strict
-[click]
[chomping]
-[sighs]
-[click]
-[Jon] diet, Garfield.
-[click]
Mmm-mmm!
-[click]
-[Jon] And you can only eat one bowl.
[click]
You wanna bet?
I can't believe this thing can
just stop time, but apparently it can.
I only have a few more houses
to deliver to.
I'm going to skip the one
that gives me trouble.
I'm not in the mood for walking today.
I think I'll get a ride.
No, not the one with the cat
that eats lasagna. It's
-[click]
-[Garfield laughing]
-[click]
-this house down the street
with all the Chihuahuas.
Ms. Castinetti just got new dentures
and her sister Marge is coming to visit.
[Chihuahuas yapping]
[Garfield laughs]
I'm passing the house
with all those yapping rats.
[Chihuahuas yapping]
We'll have to do something about this.
I have nightmares about those dogs
every night.
[click]
[straining]
[laughs]
[click]
I imagine those dogs
are tormenting me and
Yaaaaaa!
[dogs yapping]
They'll get to know one another.
[mailman] Help! Get them off me! Help!
Chihuahuas to the right of me!
Chihuahuas to the left of me!
[dogs yapping]
Nothing could ruin this day.
Hey, Garfield!
Of course, I didn't take into account
the chance of running into Nermal.
So tell me, Garfield, how do I look today?
You can be brutally honest with me.
Great, really great,
or really, really, really super great?
D, none of the above.
I'm on my way to the biggest cat
beauty pageant you ever saw!
I've been grooming for weeks
to snatch the first prize.
Wish me luck. Not that I need any!
-[laughs]
-[click]
I think it's time
for a total makeover, Nermal.
[chuckles] She's not saying anything.
She must not mind.
[laughing] Boy, that's good.
It's you. It's really you.
[click]
So I'm off to win first prize
in the cat show. Bye, Garfield.
And if you don't,
I hear the circus is in town.
I know this intersection.
It takes forever for the light to change.
So we won't wait.
[click]
Being the Time Master has many advantages.
[clicking]
[laughs] Hey, hey, that was fun.
Let's try that again.
[click]
[laughing hysterically]
[click]
[click]
[laughing]
[click]
-Huh?
-[click click click click click]
Oh, my! Do any of you know
how to fix one of these?
Come on! There's got to be a way
to get the world started again.
What if I broke the world?
What if it can never be started again?
There'd be some advantages; I could eat
at VIto's Pizzeria any time I wanted to.
Hey, Vito! Any pizzas hot out of the oven?
Can you finish this one?
I'm kind of hungry.
Vito can't make pizza
with time standing still.
No one can do anything.
Those fine, upstanding people
who make lasagna can't make lasagna.
The whole world's come
to a screeching halt
thanks to me and this stupid watch.
Hey, you!
Move! Do something!
Don't let time pass you by!
[screams]
D'oh!
Don't just stand there!
Just because time is standing still
doesn't mean you have to stand still.
I'm all alone.
No one can do anything except me.
Which means I have to do everything.
No one to cook for me!
No one to take care of me!
And no TV!
This is all your fault,
you stupid time-stopping device!
[clock chiming]
No! Stop! Ohh!
People are moving again!
But they're all going backwards!
Time is going backwards!
And I'm going backwards, too!
[voice playing backwards]
[clucking backwards]
[talking backwards]
[Jon talking backwards]
[backwards talking continues]
[ringing backwards]
[ringing]
[gasps] Seven o'clock!
Oh no, I overslept!
Some of us prefer to oversleep.
Sometimes,
I wish time would just stand still.
[Garfield screams]
No, I don't.
That was the most horrible,
awful nightmare ever.
Except the part about Nermal.
That was beautiful.
[sighs]
[snoring]