The Persuaders (1971) s01e15 Episode Script

Are stakeouts always this boring? If you're looking for excitement, forget this and buy a dress shop.
If you're in trouble, just yell and I'll bring the fuzz.
Thank you.
Not yet.
There is a candle.
Light it.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Welcome.
Welcome! - I'm glad I wasn't early.
- What is 15 minutes late? I have waited six months to meet you.
Now, may I know your name? Sinclair.
Brett Sinclair.
There.
Lord Sinclair? Excellent.
We have been most impressed by the information you have supplied.
Thanks.
You'll be even more impressed when you see what I have for you.
The most complete dossier ever on the NATO defence systems.
You have it with you? No, but I can get my hands on it when we've agreed terms.
The terms have been agreed.
$100,000 is our price.
Oh, that's, er, not nearly enough.
I think you had better reconsider.
I think you'll reconsider when you cast your eyes over them and double the amount.
Perhaps.
But I think you will find us very reasonable people.
We are not going to fall out over something as unimportant as money.
- Sinclair.
- Yes? He won't be alone.
Get clear.
Thank you.
Now what trouble did you get into? - Is he bad? - He dead! Lord Sinclair.
Well, now we know.
You're late.
I had to drop Danny seven miles away.
- Why? - A new regime! I'll tell you later.
Meanwhile, you have some explaining to do.
You did it to me again.
"Go and meet a man.
Tell him you have some documents to sell.
- "No danger," you said.
- Trouble? There were more bullets than World War II.
You'd better tell me about it.
I've a better idea.
You tell me about it.
It's simple.
Someone at British Intelligence has turned traitor.
So far, he's managed to keep his, or her, identity a secret, not only from us but from his buyer.
That takes a certain amount of talent.
A great deal of talent.
Never doubt it.
So far, the stuff he's sold has been important but not vital.
Now, we're convinced he's got copies of NATO documents.
- That big? - Yes.
Surely our government has a counterespionage service able to handle this? - Why pick on me? - Because you happen to be here and we need an outsider.
The traitor is on the inside of the department and has got wind of all our traps.
A day ago, we had a bit of luck.
We intercepted a message to arrange a rendezvous at that farmhouse.
Our operator passed the message on but changed one thing - the date.
Instead of the real spy, you showed up.
So now the enemy think that I'm the traitor? Exactly.
Now they'll concentrate on you.
When the real spy shows up to keep his rendezvous, we'll nab him.
- Brilliant.
- Yes, I thought so.
Are you going to open that door or shall we talk out here? There is one tiny little thing that's gone wrong.
I mean, nothing very important.
Tell me the worst.
As our security has to be at top level, we've not let any of our local people know the plan.
Which means? It means that they're following their own leads and we can't discourage them without someone smelling a rat.
That was a British agent who was killed last night, doing what he thought was his duty.
- Unfortunately - Uh-huh.
Here it comes.
He had an assistant with him who identified you.
Well! Isn't that nice?! It's beautiful! Not only do the enemy think I'm a traitor, so do the British.
Well, to put it in a nutshell yes.
Hi.
Just doing my morning constitutional.
Seven miles every day.
- Got another 25 yards to go.
- What's all this about? This morning he stood on his weighing machine and it went "ouch".
It's nothing to do with my weight.
I do it for conditioning - to stay in shape.
- Would you please sit down? - OK! Don't get nervous.
My time's up anyway.
How, getting back to my problem - Would you please run? - Right.
How long will I be the man in the middle? Only until tonight - until we catch the real spy.
We're sure he's on his way to Rome.
# A life on the ocean wave # I quite agree, whatever you mean.
- Signor.
- Ah! Thank you very much for the lift.
- What's that? - Denaro! Oh! I have a horrible feeling that you mean money.
Yes, rather! Of course.
Splendid.
There! You're in luck, it's the smallest I've got.
English currency.
Worth mucho.
Much, much.
Mucho! Grazie, signor.
Not at all.
Love to the wife.
Bye.
Charming chaps, these foreigners.
Filthy foreigners.
Good.
Hello! You're English, aren't you? That's jolly clever of you.
How did you know? Just a wild guess, you know.
- Jump in, old boy.
- Thanks frightfully.
I'm Archie Sinclair Beauchamp.
And you? - David Price.
- One of the high Prices? Yes.
- Car break down? - Hmm? Oh, yes, the Bentley.
Both the back tyres burst at the same time.
I'll have to get the works' mechanic out here.
Can't trust these chaps.
- Where are you going? - Rome.
Really? So am I.
Good.
Good.
Hotel Cablieri.
That's a coincidence! I'm booked in there.
I'll be damned! We must have dinner tonight.
- Thanks very much.
- Of course! - You on holiday out here? - No, I'm a journalist.
I'm following up an interesting story.
Really? I'll see you in London.
Thanks for all your help.
Have a safe flight.
And what exactly am I supposed to do? Nothing.
Just stay out of trouble.
But whilst our people think of you as a traitor, there's just the vaguest possibility that they might try to kill you.
- But very unlikely of course.
- Oh, good.
And the other people see in you a very valuable property.
They might try something, too.
- But I don't expect it.
- He's such a comfort.
It's only for a little while, so play it as it comes.
Cheerio! Cheerio.
"Play it as it comes.
" Come on, cheer up.
What can happen? - I could get killed! - Not in a hotel lobby.
And me as your bodyguard.
You're dramatising.
Besides, I'll be around you every second of the time.
That is a depressing thought.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
I never understand how we always let the Judge Er, bodyguard? I was watching.
She looked suspicious.
Do you think they'll kidnap you in a hotel lobby? He's in the lobby.
Get over here now.
We've got to pick him up before they can.
We must pick him up before the British.
Once they get him inside their embassy, that's it.
You want me to contact him? No.
No, I shall handle things from now on.
Think of the prestige, the propaganda value.
English aristocrat betrays country's secrets.
Lord Sinclair is worth double his weight in gold to us.
- We must not lose him.
- No.
A word for ceases to live? Died, expired, murdered, strangulated, killed, any more? Not only do the words come trippingly but naturally today.
Don't worry about anything.
My secretary made this reservation weeks ago.
They poisoned you! I'll get a What? That voice! What's he look like? What? Oh, stupid.
Looks how an Englishmen is supposed to look in the movies.
- That's Archie.
- Who? Archibald Sinclair Beauchamp, a distant cousin.
- Don't let him see me.
- Brett, old boy! Oh, Price, come in.
Brett! What an absolutely smashing surprise to see you.
- Archie, what are you doing here? - Got the yacht at Ostia.
What yacht? The yacht.
Complete overhaul.
Caribbean barnacles, the worst type.
Got to do something about them.
You're Danny Wilde, aren't you? - Oil's your game.
- Right.
I can put something in your way.
May I introduce a friend? David Price.
I gave him a lift on the way down.
We must have a drink to celebrate.
- I really must check in.
- Really? - I'll see you later.
- Bye.
- Danny, we must be going.
- Chaps, do sit down.
Blood is thicker than water.
Waiter, a bottle of champagne.
You're one of those colonial chaps from America.
I'm rather fond of Americans.
I met one in New York.
- I come from New York.
- You don't! How extraordinary.
Oh, isn't that unfortunate? Something came up, I have to go.
- Well, it's been a pleasure.
- Do sit down.
I've just heard about a secret oil strike Well, the note says that a package is being delivered to my room.
You are disappointed? Not at all.
I mean, the gift wrapping is superb.
- May I offer you a drink? - No.
I'm here on business.
Oh.
May I be so naive as to inquire what your line is? I work for British Intelligence.
That's a pity.
I'd hoped you were a gift from the Italian Tourist Board.
I'll have to ask you to come along with us.
Us? The game, as they say, is up, Lord Sinclair.
I do hope you'll cooperate and not cause any trouble.
Could you show me some proof that you are British? Show him our proof.
- Convinced? - Totally.
Would you hold that, please? I hope you make a point of not fighting girls.
Not when they're carrying guns.
Stand still, this won't hurt one bit.
Oh, good.
If there's anything I can't stand, it's suffering when it includes pain.
But there are a few things I Well, I'm gonna go find Brett.
I'll see you later, Archie.
Just a second! I've just checked in and haven't cashed my traveller's cheques - Oh, waiter.
Here you are.
- Charming.
Charge that to Lord Sinclair's account.
Take the rest of that to my room, will you? - Hello! - Hello.
- What floor? - Same as you.
Same as me.
I'm gonna see Brett.
What a remarkable coincidence.
So am I.
Have you known him for a long time? Oh.
Excuse me.
- Scusa.
- Isn't there a service lift? Well, it's been wonderful meeting you, Archie.
Your Lordship? Brett? Brett? Well, he's not in that.
He's probably in that.
Come on.
- We'll use the stairs.
- I can't.
- Why? - I've got a bad arm.
Oh.
A bad arm? Oh.
Back the truck up to the loading bay.
Don't you think you're being impetuous? Impetuous? He's your cousin! You said blood is thicker than water.
This is too thick.
He's only a third cousin.
- Now what are you doing? - We'll report a disturbance.
I'm going in there and you stay back here.
- Good idea.
- Now, when I yell, grab a basket.
- What?! - Grab it.
Tally ho! By helping that man you're aiding a known traitor.
- What man? - There's no man in here.
He must have gone to the other side.
The embassy's technically foreign soil.
Nobody's allowed on the premises.
No one at all.
I wasn't planning to knock on the door.
Come in.
- Hello, chaps.
Ready? - Hello.
Where do you think you're going dressed like that? I don't know.
You said wear something sporty for action.
- Don't you like it? - I like it very much.
But we'll be breaking into an embassy, climbing over walls.
I don't know how to say this - don't think I'm trying to get out of it - but I've got a bad leg.
Also, a pathological fear of anything connected with physical violence.
What I'm trying to say is I'm just a teeny-weeny on the cowardly side.
Well, I got that.
But you gotta go along anyway.
Come on.
Let's go.
If you get caught, no one can help you.
Brett's life is in danger.
Those guys want those papers and Brett doesn't know where they are.
They'll torture him.
Whips, fire, matches under the fingernails.
- Some more wine? - Why not? Tell me, Senka, what exactly do you do in the embassy? I am secretary for cultural affairs.
That's nice.
There's nothing I like more than a bit of culture.
I am so glad.
I am sure that through the arts, East and West can come closer together.
That's what I say.
- You have to go.
- Go? To get the documents from their hiding place.
Oh, those! Let's not worry about those for the moment.
I just don't want you to leave.
Ah! I have an idea.
I rather thought you would.
You tell me where they are, I'll have somebody fetch them.
But Comrade Krilov and I have not come to any arrangement.
But you can be sure he will be generous.
And so will I.
Where are they? Well, it, er, seems to have slipped my mind.
I'll tell you what, why don't you go on working on me? Come on, Archie.
Easy.
Ahh! What a ruddy silly place to put a fountain! Archie! What are you doing? - What are you doing here? - Doing? Yes.
Ah! An open window.
Oh, I say, good thinking.
I'll go back and get a ladder.
You're not going anywhere.
Stay where you are.
Come on.
- Up there.
- What?! I can't get up there.
Put your leg here.
Come on, Archie.
Now go get 'em, baby.
- Go ahead.
Start across.
- Ah! Come on.
That's it.
Did you say that window? Hey, Archie.
Come on, drop.
Drop?! I'll break a leg or something.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on, hurry up, Archie.
Get up.
Come on.
- Buongiorno.
- In the store room, this way.
- Store room.
Si.
- Signor.
Si.
You check the ground floor, I'll check the upstairs.
Here, what - What are you doing here? - I Shh! Now, follow me.
And they always told me the English were so cold.
Oh! Good evening, Daniel.
Good evening.
We've been climbing over walls trying to rescue you.
Up ropes, down ladders.
I thought you were being tortured.
I appreciate that, Daniel.
It's been hell.
I don't think I could have held out much longer.
Yeah.
Don't just lie there, get up and say good night.
Well, if it's all the same to you, could you rescue me in an hour? We're gonna rescue you now or not at all.
Say good night so we can get out of here.
Shh! Get the cord from the curtain, tie her up, Archie! Tie her up?! But she's a lady.
You figured that out, did you? Will you tie her up? Ow! I cannot understand why Sinclair is so reluctant.
- He was set to deal with you before.
- Yes.
Sound the alarm.
- Couldn't we take her with us? - What a jolly good idea.
I don't think we could - she can't run that way.
Archie.
- Which way? - This way.
Wait.
Archie, come on.
Quick! There's some more coming.
The window.
Ah! - Come on, Archie.
- We're one floor up! Archie! Come on.
Let me see you go first.
- Come on, Archie! Jump! - Come on! Archie, will you jump?! Sorry.
- Come on, Archie.
- Next year, the Olympic team.
- Up the rope.
- I can't climb that! Get around to the front! Get the cars.
It's too late.
We won't get them now.
- What is it? - It's gone rather cold.
Like the first chill of a Siberian winter.
Ah.
It's getting late.
I don't think this guy is going to show.
There's no reason why he shouldn't.
The date was tonight, he doesn't know it was changed.
Somebody could have wised him up.
I thought this Kay was supposed to be here by now.
Yes.
And I can think of only one reason why she hasn't shown.
Because she's the spy, yeah? - She's not! - It's possible.
- No! - It's possible.
Yes, it's possible she could be.
No, it's not possible.
It's not possible.
I'm gonna look out the window.
I heard it, too.
I got him.
Archie! What did you jump on me for?! Not very sporting, you know.
Get up.
Right, Archie, what are you doing here? What are you looking at me like that for? I'm not your spy! - It crossed my mind.
- Don't be silly! - How did you know about this place? - I met this girl in a bar, Kay.
- She asked me to come and see you.
- Why? To say she's following a lead and couldn't come.
I wouldn't have come if I'd known I was going to get this reception.
Sorry, Archie, we were expecting somebody else.
See anything? - I was only asking.
- Shut up! Did I give the game away? Wait.
You go that way, I'll go this way.
Hello.
Price! How nice to see you again.
Do forgive the gun, it's yours.
I borrowed it from your glove compartment.
My friends won't be long.
Oh! Well, nice going, Archie! I didn't see any point in us all going into the woods.
This chap had to come back to his car sometime.
Now, why didn't you think of that? His side of the family were always the brainy ones.
I trust that our intelligence people were duly grateful when you turned Price in? They were delighted.
They said he thought it was a jolly good show! Did he? Oh, er, any mention of a reward? - Nothing was said.
- Oh, pity.
- How's the - It's coming.
Isn't Kay supposed to be here? What is this? I'm a British citizen, I demand to see my consul.
Please, spare us the histrionics.
You're a British agent.
And you're all that stands between me and a long, cold winter.
- Cold winter? - A Siberian joke.
- Get the number.
- What's all this about? - I want you to talk to somebody.
- To say what? The weather, your holidays It's not important.
A moment, please.
Take it.
- Hello? - Kay? Where are you? We're waiting for you.
- Brett! I'm - Hello, this is Krilov.
Miss Hunter is a guest at our embassy.
No, please don't interrupt.
I have a proposition.
Yes.
I understand but - Is that quite clear? - Don't listen to him I'm sorry.
Is that quite clear? Good.
You have until morning to make the arrangements.
Yeah, I'll call you.
Good night, Lord Sinclair.
What is it? They have Kay.
They're making nasty noises about what they'll do unless we agree to their terms.
What are they planning to do? They want a straight trade.
They get Price, we get Kay.
Simple! Just do the swap.
She's much more valuable than Price.
Much prettier, too.
Price is on his way to London.
The authorities don't want him around.
It's worth a bash.
I can tell you the answer now.
It's the risk that all agents take.
If they get into trouble, they're on their own.
We have until morning.
And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.
Could I have a glass? You know this place? Very isolated.
Nobody lives there now.
Perfect.
You better get started.
Have your cars and men standing by.
The phone's gonna ring any minute and we've got to come up with an answer.
Let's go over the facts again.
- They wanna do business with us.
- Right.
They don't know Price is out of the country.
- He's just a name to them.
- Right.
They don't know him - what he looks like, anything.
So all we have to do is produce somebody who we say is Price - and they let Kay free.
- Right.
The only problem is that somebody.
They're expecting an Englishman so it can't be you and they know me.
Where are we going to find anyone stupid e nough to be exchanged? Ah, morning, chaps.
Morning, Archie.
Does that answer your question? - Had any bright ideas? - Funny you should say that.
Tell him, will you? Er, aren't you going to answer that? "Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
" Yes? Speaking.
Yes, I think you can safely say we have a deal.
This road peters out when it gets to the village.
- It's the only way in or out.
- They picked a good spot.
As I see it, and I may be wrong, these foreign chaps won't give you Kay until you give them this chap they think is the spy, right? You make the swap and let them leave the village first.
And you'll have the roadblock set up.
Right.
And the moment they stop, wham! I come up from the rear and Right.
In the confusion, I grab him and we take off through the woods.
- Right? - Right.
It can't be you and it can't be you so it must be I do believe he's got it, he's got it, he's got it! Do you want to have a look? OK, this is it.
If it doesn't work out, don't feel too bad.
There'll be caviar and vodka wherever you go.
Brett, you can't do this to me.
Family loyalty and all that rot.
Archie, your whole life has been spent conning the world.
This will be your greatest challenge.
- And remember one thing.
- Yes? They will pay a lot of money for what they think you know.
Really? But I don't know anything.
That's never stopped you before.
True.
They're coming.
Come along, Archie.
- There we are.
Here.
- For me? - What on earth is this? - Telephone directories.
They're supposed to be NATO documents.
After the exchange, we will leave the village first.
OK.
Off you go, Archie.
"It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done.
" Walk forward slowly.
We'll never get away with this.
You're underrating Archie.
I think we have.
Comrade, I cannot tell you how grateful I am to be rescued from the decadence of the West.
Excellent! Do you have the information? - Do you have the money? - Of course.
Daniel set an ambush down the road.
Come on.
He'll never hold them on his own.
Goodbye, Archie.
Missile sites, diplomatic codes, spy networks, everything you want to know.
- All up here, old chap.
- Excellent, excellent.
Worth a Worth a pretty penny, I suppose.
You'll find us very generous.
Good-o! Oof! Don't look like that.
What do you expect, John Wayne? Ho! Hi ho, Silver! I say, your chappie seems to have taken the wrong turning.
Oh, no, no, it's all part of the plan.
We will be met by helicopter and you will be taken to one of our cruisers in the Mediterranean.
- Excellent, huh? - Oh.
Oh.
Look, I'm rather a bad sailor, couldn't we go by land? You British! Always the sense of humour! Yes, we are rather hilarious at times.
Oh! Thank you, thank you.
- Krilov.
- Hello.
Mr Price, Mr Danievski.
Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Safe journey.
- Oh! Thanks.
Oh! Oh, there you are.
I wondered where you'd got to.
Run, Archie! Run.
Come on, Archie, on your feet.
Kay! Er, Kay, I hope I can call you Kay? I'm going to Capri, do you wanna come? Grazie.
- What do you say? - Erm Daniel, will you top up the glasses? You're so good with champagne.
Kay, I thought we might drive up the coast to a little villa I have.
We could lie around the pool all day and in the evening - There's Archie.
- Archie! Good old Archie.
- Archie.
Archie.
- Ah! Hello! There you are.
Come along.
You're limping on the wrong foot.
- Am I really? Thanks.
- Yes.
- Here's good old Archie.
- May we offer you a beaker? That's jolly nice of you but I haven't got time.
You have one with me.
Waiter! Bring these gentlemen some champagne.
- Archie - Where on earth did you get that? Didn't I tell you? Remember those two chaps from the embassy? I suggested they might want to make an advance as a gesture of goodwill.
They were surprisingly generous, as you can see.
We really must go.
Love to the family.
Ready? We? Ready? Where are you going? Off yachting to the Greek islands.
Should be fun.
Can't we come along? That really is charming of you but I think I can manage.
His side of the family always had sex appeal.
- Oh! - Let's see if any rubbed off on you.
Yes.
House detective approach? - Buongiorno.
- Excuse me, are you Are you staying in this hotel?