The Proud Family (2001) s01e15 Episode Script

Isn't Sergei the sweetest
most thoughtful
person in the world?
Listen to the card he wrote me.
"You're prettier than
any flower in this book."
Hello.
Everyone knows the only
acceptable Valentine's gifts
are real chocolate, real flowers
or jewelry like my
honey gave me.
I saw the same watch
in a gum ball machine.
Don't hate me
because I'm beautiful.
At least Sergei was
imaginative enough
to give Zoey
something she can use.
Yeah, like this
paperweight sticky gave me.
Dijonay, that's a rock.
What did he do, throw it
through your window with a note
telling you to leave him alone?
At least he thought enough of me
to throw something my
way, miss empty-handed.
Yeah, what did you get
for Valentine's day, Proud?
I don't need cheap trinkets from a
boy who knows nothing about love
to validate me as a woman.
Someone's bitter.
No, guys, Penny is just someone
much like me who's looking
for the deeper meaning in
life and is not impressed by gifts
or silly gestures from some boy.
Yo, Penny. Penny,
check this out.
Unless a boy writes your
name all over the place.
Wow, that's tight.
Penny Proud, you
and your accomplices
report to my office immediately!
That's not tight.
The Proud family ♪
what? ♪
you and me will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family,
Proud, Proud family. ♪
So you mean to tell me
your name is plastered
all over the hallowed walls
of Willie T. Ribbs
middle school?!
And you have no idea
who did it, miss Proud?!
- No.
- No, what?
No, uh Mr. Carson, sir!
That's more like it.
Excuse me, are we in boot camp?
You will be if you keep
talking like that, Missy!
Now, drop and give me ten!
Now, I want to know who stained
my school and I want to know
miss Dijonay Jones!
You're the school gossip
reporter. You know everything.
What's the word on the street?
That you're getting fired but
you didn't hear that from me.
Drop and give me ten!
How 'bout I give you
one and I owe you nine?
Now!
Dang.
One. Two.
Somebody's going to tell
me what I want to know!
How 'bout you, gadget boy?
I've got a gadget in my pocket.
It's called a breath mint.
Oh, you're not
only funny looking
you're funny talking!
- Drop and give me!
- I know. Give you ten.
One two.
- Three.
- Miss BouLevardez!
Do you have a clue as to
who the culprit might be?!
Who cares? He didn't
draw a picture of me.
Wrong answer, miss
BouLevardez! Drop and give me ten!
- Si.
- Ooh, gracias.
You can remain seated.
Hey, that's not fair.
Neither is this! Drop
and give me ten more!
I suppose you think
this is cute, huh?!
Miss Penny Proud!
No, sir, it's not cute at all.
Well, let's see how
cute you think this is!
You're all suspended until someone
gives me the name of the perpetrator!
At ease. Ten-hut!
Right face!
Forward march!
Yo left! Yo left!
Mr. Carson, does that mean
you want us to walk
only on our left foot?
Get out!
Look, there it is again.
This guy really
loves you, Penny.
Yeah, I know.
And I can tell by his
handwriting he's really cool.
Am I the only one upset
that we've been suspended?
Right now, Mr. Carson
is calling our parents
and it's all because
of you, Penny Proud.
Everybody chill. Just chill out.
Sticky's got it under control.
See, Mr. Carson doesn't
really call your parents.
The school uses an
automated calling system
and I've changed
the message, see?
Check it out.
Hello, this is the vice
principal of Willie T. Ribbs
middle school and your child
Miss Penny Proud!
Is the recipient
of the Willie T. Ribbs racers
edge award. Congratulations.
What is the racers edge award?
Who cares? It means
you're not suspended.
No, it means our parents
don't know we're suspended.
- We still can't go back to school.
- She's right.
What are we going to do? We can't
just sit at the bus stop every day.
Yeah, because my
mother rides the bus.
She might see us one day.
I guess we'll have
to find this guy.
You mean, do detective
work, like Nancy drew?
Puh-leaze. I was
thinking Charlie's angels.
I was thinking Cleopatra Jones.
I was thinking more like shaft
'cause, you know, it's
my duty to please that
Sticky!
I'm just talking 'bout shaft.
Forget shaft.
If we don't find this guy
we're going to get the shaft.
How are we going to do that?
Look, whoever it is
works at night, right?
And he obviously likes
buses and pretty girls.
I say we meet at
the bus yard at 6:00
and see if we can
catch him in the act.
Uh-uh. What if he's a wacko?
Yeah, it does seem
a little dangerous.
Come on, guys, there's
nothing to worry about.
We've got muscle.
We'll have sticky with us.
Uh Penny, look.
I got muscles, just
Just not a lot of them.
Forget it. I'll do it myself.
I'm just glad I have friends
that I can depend on.
Happy Valentine's day, baby.
Come and give big daddy a kiss.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Nein dessert until after
you eat ze dinner, hmm?
What th? Who th? Trudy!
Oscar, what are you
screaming about now?
I came in and I thought he was
you. Who's this guy, anyway?
Chef o'boy, at your service.
He's preparing our
Valentine's day dinner.
A chef? Trudy, what
are you thinking?
What if I made
dinner reservations?
- Did you?
- I said, "what if?"
'Course I did.
Now I got to cancel.
Chez expension.
Yes, this is Oscar Proud.
I have to cancel my
7:00 dinner reservations.
Yes, I know it's the last minute but
my thoughtless wife hired chef o'boy.
Yes, I thought
it was funny, too.
Trudy, something's wrong with this
phone. How is it ringing with me on it?
Maybe you're une
fibber Herr Proud.
Oscar, answer the phone.
- Hello.
- Hello, this is the vice principal
of Willie T. Ribbs
middle school.
Miss Penny Proud!
Is the recipient of the Willie T. Ribbs
racers edge award. Congratulations.
Happy Valentine's day, mother,
father. I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to the
mall with my buddies.
Hold it, young lady.
- We just got a call from your school.
- You did?
Yes, from the vice principal.
The vice principal?
What's wrong?
Look, let me explain.
What's to explain?
You won the racers edge
award, girl. Congratulations.
Oh, she did?
Oh, what is that for, Penny?
Uh it's the award you get
when people really like you.
That's all. No big deal. See ya.
Penny, wait a minute. We need
you to watch the twins tonight.
Can't Suga Mama watch them?
No, Suga Mama has
other plans tonight.
But don't you guys
want to be alone?
We're not going to be alone
with ol' big boy here tonight.
Oscar. Penny, please,
tonight is very special.
Okay, mother.
Thank you, and we're so
very Proud of your award, baby.
Frau Trudy, dinner is served.
- Thank you, chef o'boy.
- About time.
This had better be good, o'boy
or you ain't going
to get o'paid.
Come on, guys, fall asleep.
I've got to go.
I know what will work.
Mommy used to get me with this
every time when I was your age.
Lullaby and good-night,
with roses bedight ♪
Bedight?
Sorry, I don't know what
"bedight" means either.
With lilies bedecked
is baby's sweet bed ♪
lay thee down now and rest ♪
may thy slumber be blest ♪
lay thee down now and rest ♪
may thy slumber
be blest. ♪
Ooh. Ooh, ooh.
That song got me again.
Uh-oh, I've got to go.
Put your hands
up and turn around!
I must warn you, I
don't have any money!
Psych. We know you
don't have any money, girl.
'Nay, you're scaring
me But you're here.
So you are my friends.
Penny, you know I'm your girl.
Group hug.
Come on, guys.
This is not the view.
We got a mystery to solve.
We don't have time for all of this.
Wait a minute.
Did you hear that?
It's coming from over
there. Let's get him.
Wait a minute. Let me
get out my Valentine's rock.
Come on, before he gets away.
Eww.
Oh, that's the most
disgusting thing I've ever seen.
Well, he was definitely here.
The paint is still wet.
- Check this out.
- What?
Bicycle tracks.
There's two of them.
Two? You mean there's
two deranged boys
who can't spell
Lacienega BouLevardez?
Sticky, have you
found anything else?
Well, basically, we got
everything but his student I.D.
With this speck of pigment,
I can determine the exact
manufacturer of the paint.
Sticky, I don't know but I
think it's on the back of the can.
Zoey, will you please
leave the detective work
to the professionals? Thank you.
Did you hear that?
He's coming back to get
us. Let's get out of here.
No, we came here to
catch him not run from him.
He's only got a spray can.
What's there to be scared of?
Penny's right. Let's catch
him before he gets away.
Stop that!
Get out of my way.
It's Johnny McBride
from fifth period algebra.
You're Penny's guy?
You're the one that's been
painting my name everywhere?
Everybody freeze!
Hold it right there
and raise your hands.
And by the way, you're grounded.
Grounded? I didn't do
anything. I caught the tagger.
No, young lady, you got caught.
Penny, I really have to tell
you I'm disappointed in you.
Especially after winning
the racers edge award.
You've let a whole lot of
people down, young lady.
But, mom, that wasn't
even Never mind.
- Mama!
- Not now, Oscar.
Can't you see I'm eating?
Chef o'boy, this
food sure is good.
I'm glad the restaurant
lost our dinner reservations.
Lost? I canceled them.
I couldn't chance being
seen with you in public.
- You speak Spanish?
- Si.
I don't know what's so funny.
You just fed them my dinner.
Just for that, I'm not paying.
Hans.
Hans, help Herr
Proud find his wallet.
Did I say I wasn't paying?
I said I wasn't playing.
My wife's paying. It's a gift.
You the man, Hans.
Here you go, chef
o'boy. Thank you.
Thank you, Frau Proud.
I left two dinners in the oven.
Oh, you were saving
those for them?
Oops.
This is where I say
auf wiedersehen.
Oh, Oscar, I'm sorry.
It wasn't your fault, baby.
It was Mama and Rico
suave's fault over there.
I heard that. At
least we got to eat.
Anyway, I just wanted
to do something
special and romantic
for you, baby.
So where's my gift?
All right, I hope
you're ready for this.
Pa-dow!
Oh you didn't have to, honey.
A trip to high slide
ski mountain?!
Oh, Oscar, this
is a wonderful gift.
No, it's cheap.
The rates go down the
weekend after Valentine's day.
Just us two.
Oscar I love my gift
but What about the kids?
- What about them?
- Can't leave the twins, Oscar.
They haven't been away from
me for more than a few hours.
But this is supposed
to be just for us.
Well, if we bring Suga Mama she can
watch the kids while we do "us" things.
Now I can go for a ski trip.
I'd be happy if you
went for a breath mint.
Oh, all right.
Everybody goes.
But this is now officially the
Valentine's birthday Christmas gift.
Oh, just be quiet and
get another room, Grinch.
I want you kids to know
you've been fully reinstated.
McBride confessed
to all the charges.
You are now free to
continue your classes.
What about McBride?
What are you going to do to him?
Well, we took this
matter very seriously.
And we really came
down hard on McBride.
He has to make a full
apology to you, Penny Proud.
And what does he have to
do after he makes the apology?
Go to his second period class.
Wait right here.
That's not fair.
How does he get off with an
apology and we all get suspended?
I want reparations.
Throw me out with a free lunch
pass, 40 acres, a mule something.
Go ahead, boy.
I'm sorry, Penny.
Well, that's good enough for me.
Be on your way
to class, McBride.
And the rest of you get out of my
office before I give you detention!
Oh, by the way I just heard you
kids received the racers edge award.
I don't know what it
is, but congratulations.
Keep up the good work.
Johnny McBride, slow your roll.
I just wanted to
know why you did it.
Do you really want to know?
It was the only way I
could get your attention.
You don't have to paint a building or
a bus just to get a person's attention.
- You didn't like it?
- No, I thought it was tight.
But it was wrong.
If you got something
to say to somebody
just say it, don't spray it.
I loved you ever
since I first saw you.
Will you be my
girl, Penny Proud?
Uh me?
Then I caught up with him
in the hallway to tell him off
and before I knew
it, he, uh he
Just spit it out, child.
He asked me to be his
girlfriend and I said yes.
Penny But I felt
sorry for him, mom.
You know how your daddy feels
about you having a boyfriend.
Boyfriend? You
better be talking about
- one of yours, Trudy.
- Oh, Oscar, relax.
There's a young man at school
that has a crush on Penny.
Well, we'll see about that.
Dad, you don't understand.
Never has, never will.
Oh, I understand.
You don't understand.
I told you, you cannot
date until you're married.
That's him now.
We have a study date.
Not anymore.
Now listen, young man
Hello. Mr. Proud,
I'm Johnny McBride.
Is Penny home?
Uh, yeah.
Come on in, Johnny.
You're just in time for dinner.
- Penny, your boyfriend is here!
- Huh?
Hey, y'all, let's continue this
conversation over at the mall.
My little brother is tripping.
Sorry, I can't go to the mall.
What's the matter, Penny?
Is your boyfriend rolling by?
That's not funny, Lacienega.
He's not my boyfriend.
He's just someone
I see Every day.
And when he's not here,
he calls me on the phone
he e-mails me, sends
me notes in a bottle.
Dang, he's a regular bugaboo.
Why don't you tell
him you don't like him?
I can't.
I don't want to break his heart.
Apparently his brain is
broken if he loves you.
Penny, you got company.
That's him. Got to go, guys.
- Bye.
- Adios.
She'll be right down, Johnny.
Can I get you anything, son?
A root beer float would be nice.
Well, let me see what
we have in the kitchen.
If not, I'll run to the store
and get some ice cream,
root beer and some straws
and you'll be good to go.
Okay, and can you make
sure it's French vanilla
and not that cheap
root beer. Thanks.
Why are you
catering to that boy?
He's just using y'all.
I don't like him.
Look, Johnny is
special, Suga Mama.
It's important that
we make him feel
like he's no different
than anybody else.
Then throw his behind out of here
like you've done everybody else.
He's been here
every day this week.
You mean like you have?
Look, I'm just glad we're
taking the ski trip tomorrow.
It'll be a good way to
get away from everything.
Especially from that
wheelie popping
Hey, Johnny.
You guys are going skiing?
I've never been skiing before.
You know I would
love to go skiing.
Well, that's nice,
Johnny. But, uh uh
Penny, give me a push.
Okay. Are you ready?
- I said push me.
- Whatever you say.
- Are you all right?
- I didn't tell you I was ready.
You said push me.
Wait, wait, I got you.
Nobody asked you.
I can help myself.
Hey, go for it.
I guess you do
need a little help.
Well, I'm not going to
say thank you, okay?
Hey, Penny, Johnny.
You kids having fun?
Yeah, we're having
bunches of fun.
Yeah, well, not me. I
hate this kiddie slope.
Can I go up on the
big one with you guys?
Do you think
you're ready for it?
Listen, I can do
whatever he can do.
That may be, Johnny, but you still
have to take it one step at a time.
I mean, one slope at a time.
What's wrong, Mr. Proud,
afraid I'll beat you down the hill?
You do know you only
have one ski, right?
Listen, I can go
down on my hands
and beat you, Mr. Proud, okay?
Oscar, let's go.
No, the kid is challenging
me. I think I can take him.
Come on, Oscar.
You kids go have fun.
I'm going to beat him. Push me.
What's wrong with you?
Nobody's trying to compete.
We're on vacation.
You going to stand
there and run your mouth
or you going to give me a push?
Penny, pick me up.
How about "Penny, please"?
How about "Penny, forget it"?
Hey, Penny. You
want to ride with us?
We're going to a
marshmallow roast.
I don't care if it's a
Penny roast, Suga Mama.
Please take me with you.
Okay. Hold on, babies.
I'll show them.
Hey, Mr. Proud you still
want to race to the bottom?
- Don't push me.
- Oh, well, what's wrong
you scared, old man?
Oh, I got your old man.
Last one down buys cocoa.
Oh, okay. You're on, flat top.
Oscar, don't. He's just a boy.
Who's about to
learn a man's lesson.
Hey, Johnny, I like my
cocoa with whipped cream.
Whoo-hoo!
Oh, so it's like that.
There you go!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Oscar, look out!
Ha-ha, loser.
Well, we're home.
How do you feel, Oscar?
For once, you make sense.
- That boy ruined my trip.
- Suga Mama
- No, I ain't scared to say it.
- Somebody has to.
Heck, I was having
the best time of my life.
I even had one of the snow
rangers checking me out.
Yeah, more like a snow man.
Boy, we've had enough
mouth out of your
No, let me handle
this, Suga Mama.
That's it, I've had
it with you. It's over.
- Wait, what's over?
- We're over.
I thought you liked me. I
thought you were my girlfriend.
I know it's my wheels, right?
No. Your wheels aren't
the reason I don't like you.
But they are the reason I
said I'd be your girlfriend.
That, and because
I felt sorry for you.
But I don't anymore.
You need a personality
check, Johnny.
You're rude, obnoxious,
inconsiderate
You disrespected my
parents, my grandmother, me
You're not a nice
person, Johnny.
But my family, they
are nice people.
And I'm sorry I ever
brought you around.
So why don't you break.
I didn't think it was possible
to love you any more, but I do.
You're the first person
to ever say that about me.
I mean, you actually see me.
No, I see through you.
And if you write my
name on a wall, a bus
or that blank space in your mind
I'm going to tell Lacienega's
mom who's a cop.
Now roll.
Cool. But, Penny, no matter
what we'll always have ski mount
Get out of here!
Mom, I'm sorry,
but I had to do it.
You know, Penny, I think
he needed to hear that.
And you, you look
like you need a hug.
I sure do, mommy. Thanks.
Mike check.
One, two, one,
two. Is this thing on?
Dijonay, stop.
I don't understand
why we're here.
Yeah, what is this
award for anyway?
It's for nothing. I made
it up. Check it out.
We even made the front
page of the school newspaper.
Well, you better not tell
anybody this is a fake award.
If Mr. Carson finds out we'll
all be up here doing pushups.
What did you say, Ms. Dijonay?
Drop and give you ten?
One, two, three