Victorious s01e15 Episode Script

All right.
Nice work, everyone.
Wait.
Tori, Andre, Beck, Jade, Cat, Robbie.
Stay for a moment.
Um Why do you have a woman purse? I don't have a pur Good God, where's this come from? And where's my dozen bagels? Can I leave? Wait.
How would you teenagers Like to do something for money? Can we have Some details first? Well, I assume You're all familiar With Kevin Chase.
The guy who owns Like half the hotels in Vegas? I'm telling the story! Sorry.
Kevin was my roommate In college, And now he's extremely wealthy, And his little boy Is turning The big o four.
What do you want, man? Kevin hired the waggafuffles To perform a song.
At his son's birthday party.
Oh, I love the waggafuffles.
wagga wagga wagga wag your fuffle left and right wagga wagga wagga wag your fuffle day and night shut up.
Rex told me to shut up.
Yes, thank you, Rex.
I'll give you this dollar To get to the point.
I couldn't possibly Take your money.
Apparently, the waggafuffles'.
Private jet Crashed.
And so, now, Kevin needs A new musical group to perform.
At his son's birthday party.
So, you want us to form A kiddie musical group? For just one performance.
No.
He'll pay you $1,000.
A thousand? Shall I tell my friend You're all in? Oh, where would we do this? I'll set up the party Here at school In the black box theater.
You can perform on stage After the kids have their cake.
And ice cream, It'll be fantastic.
There you are.
Ah, my bagels.
Sorry about the mix-up there.
Pull your head Outta your pants.
Bye, mom.
That was your mom? Noo.
here I am, once again, feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it will come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine Okay, what do we have so far? I don't know.
Uh, cat, record this.
'Kay-kay.
Recording.
my grandpa has a nose and my grandma has a nose everyone you know has a nose, nose, nose my grandfather's nose Was blown off in the war.
So, that song is a filthy lie.
Well, I'm sorry, I'm a serious musician.
I don't know how to write A little kiddie song.
Why did we say we'd do this? It'll be fun.
Yeah, it's so fun To put on humiliating costumes.
And dance around like idiots For sticky little 3 year olds.
And my mom grew those flowers In her garden.
They're lovely.
Okay, So what do you guys think About this song? it's fun to run it's fun to play it's fun to make things out of clay it's fun to fill your car with gas it's fun to break things made of glass but broken glass can cut your hand and then you'll bleed across the land and then we're we're not doing that.
Well, we have to write a song About something.
Okay, let's think.
What do 4-year-old Little kids like? Cartoons.
Animals.
Being annoying.
broken glass oh, I gotta take this.
Back in a sec.
Hey, how you doin'? All right, here.
On splashface, the top seven Most popular kiddie songs.
Are all about food.
So let's write a kiddie song About food.
oh, broken glass is not a food so don't you listen to some dude who says put cheese on broken glass and make a sandwich out of broken glass what is wrong with you? I like it.
All right, great.
Yo, tori, come here.
Come on, hurry.
What's up? Remember last week, I told you About that music producer.
Who listened to my demo? Yeah.
That was him.
He played it for his boss And they might wanna sign me.
To their record label.
Shut up.
You shut up.
So, now what? He wants me to come up With another song.
how 'bout a song about broken glass? I'll help you write it after class there is no song that can surpass this song we sing 'bout broken glass .
Harmonica solo.
Kevin.
Sikowitz.
Your little Henry, Enjoying himself? Aah.
No.
Ahh, He's a cute little cannibal.
Yes, it concerns me.
Sikowitz, sikowitz.
One second.
You guys ready? Almost.
Everyone's changing Into their costumes.
Fab-tastic.
And andre wrote us A really great little kid song.
It's not the one Robbie left On my voicemail.
About broken glass, is it? No, it's really cute.
Excellent.
It's a very nice thing You guys are doing here.
Yeah, yeah, 1,000 bucks, right? Indeed.
Hey, You better come help jade.
With what? She can't get her boobs In the hamburger.
Pardon? Just We'll be ready in 10 minutes.
Come on.
In the hamburger? Okay they're in the hamburger.
Now it's showtime! For 4 year olds.
Feeling: Foody.
All right, children, How many of you like A musical group.
Called the waggafuffles? Yay! Yes, well, they're not here.
Boo! Now, now, don't be like that.
Mm-hmm? I heard the waggafuffles'.
Airplane fell on a mountain.
Ah-ha.
Anyway, the important part is, We have a brand new.
Musical group to do a song For you today.
Yay! All right, I give you the The warbling The diddly-bops.
Hi, kids.
Apparently, We're the diddly-bops.
We're here to sing you A special song all about your.
Favorite foods.
Sing about dinosaurs.
No.
Now, get ready.
what I like about cheese is that you can put it on veggies and it tastes mm-mm so good yeah I like to talk about foo-ood 'cause it's my favorite thing to do-ooo every treat from yellow to blue-ooo red and green so, let's all sing tell me all about your favorite foods mine is pizza and I like ham-burgers too I'll eat ice cream cake 'til my tummy aches but then here's what I'll do here is what I'll do share some of mine with you yummy, yummy ooo in my tummy ooo yummy, yummy hate this.
not enough.
I like noodles in a bowl chicken nuggets make me lose control 'cause they taste mm-mm so good yeah I'll eat ice cream cake 'til my tummy aches but then here's what I'll do here is what I'll do share some of mine with you yummy, yummy food.
Do another song no.
Happy Birthday, Henry.
We did this for money.
Hey, vega.
Hey.
Here's your Theater history book.
Thanks.
Why is it all black now? I have black paint.
But why would you paint? Tori, jade, hi.
Hey.
What? This is my little nephew, Devon.
Hey, Devon.
What? He loves the diddly-bops And wanted to know.
If he could get your autographs.
How does he know About the diddly-bops? Oh, he saw you guys Do your song, "favorite foods" On that website, You know, videos for kiddies? What? We're on that website? Top of the homepage.
Wait, someone recorded us? Can I have your autographs? Sure.
She was the ice cream cone And she was the hamburger.
Okay, don't talk about it.
Yeah, seriously, don't.
I really appreciate this, Guys.
No prob.
She wrote a bad word.
I write what I feel.
Let's go, Devon.
What does the word mean? Just keep walkin'.
Who put us on the Internet?!? Grrrr!!! Feeling: Wazzed.
all about your favorite foods man, I don't wanna be On the Internet Lookin' like a big blob.
Of stupid spaghetti.
I thought we were sisters.
Nah, I'm a dude.
Not you.
You formed a musical group And didn't ask me to be in it? We didn't wanna be in it.
Then why did you? Hey, andre, There's a handsome man Over there.
Who wants to talk to you.
He is handsome.
Who is he? The guy I told you about, From the record label.
He's a music producer? Down, girl.
I'll be back.
But I don't understand.
Man, it's not me.
My boss was checkin' you Out online, And he saw you.
In that spaghetti costume Singin'.
About your favorite foods, and that was a one time thing.
I swear, I take my music Really seriously.
I know that, But Michael's got this thing About image.
And you know, Guys who dress up as pasta.
And sing songs about fruits And chicken fingers nuggets.
Nuggets.
That's not the image That he wants for the label.
Sorry, kid.
I might be crazy but have I told you lately that I love you you're the only reason why I'm not afraid to fly and it's crazy that someone could change me now no matter what it is I have to do I'm not afraid to try and you need to know that you're the reason why get away from my car.
Oh, come on, It's not that bad.
I just lost the best shot I've ever had at singin With a major record label which is bad.
You all can stare at m But it's still bad.
Dude, you know You're an awesome songwriter And musician.
The best.
And there are other Record labels.
Yeah, and they're all gonna Look me up on the Internet.
And see me dressed up Like a pile a'noodles.
Singin' a stupid kiddie song.
Well, maybe, But that doesn't mean That your life is over.
It kinda does.
Aah, my arm.
Ohh! Aah! Give me his arm back.
Rude.
Yep.
Where have you been? I chased that record producer For seven blocks.
I finally caught up to him At a red light, And he tried to back over me.
Can you believe that? I can.
Yeah.
Hey, you guys, guess what? I got us another gig.
Ha-ha.
What kinda gig? The diddly-bops.
I got us booked At the green meadow mall, Friday, after school.
Why? 'cause little kids love us.
And I thought we all liked Being the diddly-bops.
No, we hate it.
It ruined my life.
But they're gonna pay us, And I promised we'd be there.
We are never performing As the diddly-bops ever again.
Aw, phooey.
Why don't you Rip her arm off? I'll be a diddly-bop.
You will? Why? 'cause I'll be On stage performing And getting paid to sing.
In front of people who adore me.
You'll be dressed As a hamburger.
Singing to 4-year-olds.
Don't you have any respect For yourself? Take me to the hamburger.
Come on.
Andre - Where are you ?!?!?! Feeling: Searchy hey, what are you doing? You missed two classes.
I'm just sitting here.
What, pouting? No.
Listen, I know you're upset, But you're not making.
Things better by ditching class And sitting here by yourself.
Drinking a gallon Of Chocolate beverage.
Do you understand that For me, being taken seriously As a singer.
And a songwriter is everything.
People do take you seriously.
They did, until ooo, yummy, yummy ooo, yummy, yummy ooo, yummy, yummy it's catchy.
Catchy like a rash.
Okay, then If you don't like your song, Change it.
What do you mean, change it? I gotta get to class.
You comin'? Stupid song.
I like to talk about foo-ood 'cause it's my favorite thing to do-ooo every treat from yellow to blue-ooo, red and green so, let's all sing I don't know what you been used to never been with a girl like you-ooo give you a love that's true to your heart na, na, na-na-na-na I'll give you my song these words to you sing you what I feel my soul is true I don't have the world can't give it to you, girl but all that I can do all that I can do is give this song to you that song is so awesome.
How did you turn "favorite foods" into that? I just stopped drinking My chocolate beverage And got busy.
You have to play it For that record guy And his boss.
How? You can do a live performance At school.
They're not gonna come.
Yeah, they will.
I'll beg them.
I'm a very good beggar.
Okay? Dude.
Listen, If I can get 'em to come, Will you just sing.
Your stupid song That's not stupid anymore? Will you sing backup for me? Yeah, I will.
How did jade fit her boobs In this hamburger? All right, everyone, Please quiet down.
Settle down.
Now, let's give A warm green meadow mall welcome.
To Internet sensation, The diddly-bops.
Hi, kids.
Welcome To the green meadow mall.
A good place to shop.
I'm a hot dog.
Something's wrong here.
what I like about cheese is that you can put it on veggies and it tastes mm-mm so good yeah.
I like to talk about fo-ood 'cause it's my those aren't The real diddly-bops.
We are too the diddly-bops.
They're fakers.
Booo!! That guy's Like 100 years old.
I'm 34.
Fakers.
Fakers.
Boo.
Fakers.
Let go.
Let go.
Let go.
Fakers.
This is called, "Song to you.
" I don't wear designer clothes I don't go to the finest schools But I know I ain't no fool, o-baby I may not be a star I'm not driving the sickest car .
All right, we'll keep me posted, will you? Bye, bye.
But I know, I can make you happy, baby I don't know what you been used to Never been with a girl like you-oo but I can give you a love That's true to your heart Not material things I'll give you my song, These words to you Sing you what I feel My soul is true I don't have the world Can't give it to you girl But all that I can do All that I can doooo Is give this song to you .
Andre! Whoo! Yeah, I know you are blessed But there's something You're missing, yeah Your own melody Oh, baby I don't know what you been used to Never been with a girl like you-oo But I can give you A love that's true to your heart Not material things I'll give you my song These words to you Sing you what I feel My soul is true My soul is true I don't have the world Can't give it to you girl Can't give it to you girl But all that I can do All that I can doooo Is give this song to you I'll give you my heart My soul, my voice, baby Give this song to you Oo-oo-oo-ah, I can't say I'm singing Give this song to you Oo-oo-oo-ha Give this song to you I'll give you my song These words to you Baby, baby Sing you what I feel My soul is true I'll give you my song These words to you Sing you what I feel My soul is true I don't have the world Can't give it to you girl But all that I can do All that I can doooo Is give this song to you I like him.