Wizards of Waverly Place s01e15 Episode Script

Dude, close your mouth.
Your tongue is gonna dry out.
You're right.
Listen, man.
Why don't you just ask her out? Kari Langsdorf? l can't ask out Kari Langsdorf.
She's got no idea who l am.
She's never even talked to me.
l'm totally invisible to her.
- Sorry, man.
l didn't see you there.
- Why would you? Totally invisible to everybody.
Hey, Kari, you wanna check out a movie this weekend? Do you play baseball? No, but l'm quarterback of the football team, president of student council and l'm a swimsuit model.
l only date baseball players.
Oh, sorry.
Didn't see you there.
- So, Justin, do you play baseball? - Yes.
- You gonna try out for the team this year? - l might.
You think you got a shot? Absolutely not.
Hey, Alex, can l get a turkey sandwich? l'm off the clock.
You know where everything is.
Well, if you're off the clock, then what are we doing here? l've got a jean jacket at home that's not going to sequin itself.
Relax, Harper, we're just waiting for my dad to come back with the team he's coaching so we can see the cute guys.
All right, guys.
Root beer floats are on the house.
Hey, Justin tried out for the first time, and even made the team.
Who knew? Well, l know how much you love baseball, so l figured l'd give it a shot.
Awesome.
Then it's settled.
l'm the Aztecs' number one fan.
Let the trash talking begin.
Dad, he's doing it again.
Maxy, we really appreciate the enthusiasm, but let's not revisit what happened on the soccer field.
What soccer field? The one the park police said you can't go to anymore.
Excuse me for cheering for my brother.
ls that a crime? According to the park police, yes.
The kid in the diaper started it.
Hey, Alex, do you have an extra-long spoon? Sure.
Okay.
Here you go, Riley.
Thanks.
What was that? l thought you were off the clock.
l'm always on the clock for Riley.
lsn't he so cute? You mean Justin.
No, Riley.
Justin's cute.
l can't believe Justin's on Riley's team.
Finally, after years of Justin being a bore, l can use him for my own personal gain.
- How are you going to do that? - l have no idea.
But it's a nice feeling, the kind that makes you stop and give thanks you have a brother.
Here he comes.
How do l look? - Fine.
- Just fine? Fine isn't good enough.
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
Hey.
Hey, Justin.
Congrats on making the team Riley's on.
Baseball, right? Yep, l made the team, all right.
You don't sound all right.
What's the matter? l've done a bad, bad thing, Alex.
What? l charmed the baseball so Dad would think l was good.
l didn't know you were into baseball.
l'm not.
l'm into Kari Langsdorf.
Okay, so, what's the bad, bad thing you did? l cheated.
l used magic to make the baseball team.
lf Dad knew, he would flip out.
Yeah, but the important thing is, is now you're on the baseball team with Riley.
What? Well, Riley's the catcher, so he can teach you some stuff.
But until then, you should probably use magic to stay on the team.
Alex, l'm not like you.
l don't break the rules.
l'm ridden with guilt.
lt's eating up my insides.
Pretty soon, l'll be just a shell.
You'll get over it.
And, Justin, magic is your talent.
l mean, do they make a tall basketball player play on his knees? No.
Do they make a fast swimmer only do the dog paddle? No.
Then why should a wizard not use magic? Hey.
Congratulations on making the team.
l'm Kari.
Hi, Kari.
l'm Just-- Just-- - l'm Just-- - Just so happy to meet you.
Yes, he is.
And his name is Justin.
Well, it's nice to meet you, Justin.
l love going to the baseball games, so l'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of each other at the baseball games, because you play in the baseball games.
l love baseball.
She can see me.
She can totally see me.
l'm not invisible anymore.
No way.
You know the invisibility spell? l'll trade you for the popularity spell.
You know what? l am totally gonna use magic.
Thanks, Alex.
You always know the right wrong thing to do.
Now go sit by Riley and tell him how cool l am.
Here we go.
Come on now.
Ball four.
Take your base.
Time, ump.
Time.
Yeah, Justin! He and l are gonna be going out soon.
Nice job today.
Nice job.
All right, Justin.
Let's see if you can finish this thing.
Justin looks great in his uniform.
He slept in it last night.
l find that totally attractive.
Alex, here comes Riley.
Do you wanna talk to him alone? - That would be nice.
- Got it.
lf you need me, l'll be over here.
Hi, Justin.
Hey, Riley.
Cute uniform.
Thanks.
lt was my idea to go with the sleeveless jerseys.
- l'm gonna be your good luck charm.
- What? Whenever l'm here, you'll win.
lf this guy strikes out and we win, l'll believe you.
You'll see.
- Good eye, baby.
Good eye.
- Get the strikes.
Get this guy out and we win.
lf you don't, we lose.
No pressure.
Come on, Justin.
Good luck, Justin.
Throw a knuckleball.
Come on, Justin.
Mow this guy down.
He ain't no hitter.
He couldn't hit it if you threw a basketball.
Hey, kid, do you mind? That's my son.
Oh, l'm sorry.
For you.
Lead-off hitter.
Lead-off hitter.
- That's all right.
- All right, baby.
Strike one.
That's my brother.
l'm his brother.
Together, we'll send you losers home.
Nice work, son.
Bring in the heat.
Strike two.
Amazing, huh? You feel that heat, losers? Strike three.
You're out.
- Game over.
- Nice.
Way to go, loser.
You should change your first name to Lou and your last name to Sir.
Get it? ''Loser.
'' Oh, boy.
You ever seen a kid pitch like that, huh? Come to think of it, l've never seen a kid pitch like that either.
Something's not right.
You were awesome out there today, Justin.
Those batters had no clue what you were throwing at them.
- Like they had never seen pitches before.
- That's what l do.
Throw them the dark stuff, turn up the heat, give them a little pop-goes-the-weasel.
Pop-goes-the-weasel? ls that like a baseball term? Yeah, in Taiwan, where l learned the pitch.
Oh, l'm glad we finally met.
See you around.
Just, l need to talk to you.
As my dad or as my coach? As your magic teacher.
You broke the rules.
You never break the rules.
Do they make a tall basketball player do the dog paddle? Do they make a fast swimmer swim on his knees? What are you talking about? Alex told me to use magic.
Here's some advice.
Stop listening to your sister.
Got it.
E-mail to self: ''Stop listening to evil sister.
'' Justin, l'm very disappointed in you.
You've always been a stickler for the rules.
- All right, fine.
l'll quit the team.
- No, you're not quitting the team.
You're gonna learn your lesson by pitching without magic.
l'll get creamed.
Exactly.
That's the learning your lesson part.
l'm ready for Justin's second game.
Max, don't you think that foam finger's a little big? No, but this one might be.
Hey, if it rains, you can mop up the infield for us.
That's a good one, Dad.
Yeah.
Hey, Alex.
You ready to go to the game? - Come on.
- Nope.
l'm not going today.
But you're Riley's good luck charm.
My dad's making Justin pitch even though he can't use a spell.
Spell? Yeah.
Justin had a spelling test and couldn't practice pitching.
Yeah, that works.
Nice.
So he's gonna get clobbered and the team's gonna lose.
But don't you wanna see Riley? Yes, but not if they're gonna lose.
That's just gonna show Riley that l'm not his good luck charm.
But he might wish you were there.
l know.
That's the good part.
l won't be there, which will reinforce the idea that l am his good luck charm.
Okay But l think it would be fun to see Riley.
Let me explain this to you slowly.
- lt's a run.
- Good job, crew.
Let me ask you something.
l know, l know.
l'm getting creamed out here.
Right, right.
Hey, does your sister ever ask about me? l know it was tough going today, Justin.
Tough going? l gave up 26 runs.
Their guys kept running around and around and around - and around and around and around-- - Justin.
Justin, listen.
Only one of my kids is gonna be able to keep his powers.
l don't want you relying on magic, because you might not have it one day.
All right, all right.
l get it.
l never liked baseball anyway.
Then why did you try out for the team? To impress Kari Langsdorf.
l get it.
You know, when l was your age, l tried using magic to impress a girl.
Turned into a total disaster.
- What happened? - l married her.
Just kidding.
Seriously, l'm just kidding.
Don't even say l said that, even as a joke.
The point is, using magic is cheating.
And cheating to impress people ultimately fails.
So l suggest you practice hard, because l've decided to pitch you again next game.
Dad, without magic, l'll get creamed again.
Not necessarily.
You have some of my natural ability.
We just have to find it.
- Do l have a choice? - No.
Look, son, you made a commitment and you have to stick to it.
You think l can do better than l did today? lt'd be hard to do worse.
All right.
- All right, fine.
l'll give it a shot.
- No magic, right? - No magic.
Got it.
- Okay.
You see? They lost.
So if l'd gone to the game, l couldn't possibly be Riley's good luck charm.
And then he wouldn't be interested in me.
Do you understand that? Oh, l get it.
Good plan.
Now let's talk about something that's really important.
Your brother's baseball uniform.
How cute is he in that? Alex, where were you today? We got smeared.
l've been studying.
She wasn't there and you lost.
Sounds like she's your good luck charm.
You're welcome.
l'm sorry, Riley.
l didn't know you wanted me to come to every game.
Yeah.
You're our good luck charm.
And we need good luck every game.
Every game? l don't know.
l'll tell you what.
lf you come to our next game and we win, l'll take you to the fall dance.
And what makes you think l'd wanna go to the fall dance with you? Every girl does, don't they? Yeah, you're right.
Okay, you got a deal.
Great.
Because l'm very superstitious.
But with you, l got a feeling we'll go all the way to the state championship.
And all the way to the fall dance.
See you.
Oh, wait.
What are you gonna do if Justin pitches badly next game, they lose, and Riley realizes you're not his good luck charm? As long as l have something to do with it, l'm pretty sure Justin's team will win the next game.
Oh, come on, Justin.
l didn't paint my face for a tied-up game.
This stuff is starting to burn.
ls that bad? l sure hope Justin gets out of this jam, otherwise you're not good luck.
And l was up half the night with my mom trying to figure this out.
So when you're there, he wins, and when you're not, he doesn't.
Don't worry.
l know Justin will get out of this.
Batter's out of there.
Good job.
Good job.
- Thanks, coach.
- Nice.
Justin, is there something you wanna tell me? No.
ls there something you wanna tell me? - No.
- All right.
Good talk.
Good talk.
Let's play some ball.
Time, ump.
Time.
Justin.
You're calling timeout to talk to a guy sitting on the bench? There's no rule against it.
- l told you l didn't do it.
- l know, l know.
l was watching you.
There's something going on, though, so l want you to use your powers to counteract it.
Keep the game fair.
Okay Un-time.
Play ball.
Come on, let's go.
Everybody on the bench.
Safe.
Timeout, ump.
Timeout.
Time.
Alex, get over here.
You're calling timeout to talk to a fan? Show me the rule, ump.
Show me the rule.
l know what you're doing, young lady, and l want it to stop.
l was just trying to help.
- Here, Justin, recite this spell.
- What is it? lt will erase everyone's memory so they won't remember what happened the past few minutes.
- Even ours? - l don't know.
l don't remember.
l've never used it.
All right.
Cerebellum erasis What just happened? We won.
We won.
ln your face, losers.
Go home and cry, you little babies.
l smell smoke, because you were burned.
There he is.
Get him.
Get him.
Dad, l don't remember how the game ended.
Neither do l.
l think Alex had something to do with it.
What's that piece of paper? Hey, this could come in handy someday.
So Alex, looks like l've got a date for the fall dance.
Yes, you do.
And Friday night too.
We're going out Friday night? Yeah, you asked me right after you scored the winning run.
Don't you remember? Yeah, sure.
Great.
Looking forward to Friday night.
Yes, you are.
l know what you did, Alex.
You broke the rules and used magic because you wanted Riley to ask you out.
l did no such thing.
And it totally worked.
l don't think it did.
- What are you talking about? - Your punishment.
- You're not going to the fall dance.
- What? Justin used magic.
Where's his punishment? Justin was already punished on the baseball field when the other team ran around and around and around.
- Hi, Kari.
- Oh, hey, Justin.
- Mind if l join you? - Please do.
So l was wondering, since you like baseball players and everything if maybe you'd not want to not go to a movie or something? Did you just ask me out? l think so.
l was trying to.
Okay, sure.
- l'd love to go to a movie with you.
- Excellent.
So we're on this weekend.
What movie do you wanna see? Oh, l only date baseball players, and l only see movies about-- - Baseball.
- No, cats.
Okay.
Are there any movies out right now about cats? No.
Would you see a movie about dogs? Not unless they're cats disguised as dogs.
Farm animals? Are the cats, like, disguised as farm animals, like, cows and stuff? Yeah.
l'll tell you what.
Why don't we wait till a cat movie comes out? l'll keep an eye on the paper, real close.
Good talking to you, Kari.