According To Jim s01e16 Episode Script

HELLO, MY BEAUTIES! I'M HOME! HEY, HONEY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? FINE.
"FINE.
" ANYTHING NEW HAPPEN AT WORK? NOTHIN'.
"NOTHIN'.
" THANK YOU.
WHERE ARE THE GIRLS? OUTSIDE.
OH! HEY, RUBY GOT AN "A" ON HER MATH TEST.
WELL, SHE GOT A SMILEY FACE, WHICH ISN'T QUITE AS GOOD AS A STAR, BUT IT'S CLOSE.
AND GRACIE WAS EATING AN ORANGE AND SHE CHOKED, YOU KNOW, ON THE MIDDLE PART WHERE IT'S LIKE A ROPE.
ANYWAY, SHE THREW UP, BUT AT LEAST SHE'S EATING FRUIT.
SINCE WHEN IS A SMILEY FACE NOT AS GOOD AS A STAR? WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL ARE WE SENDING THIS GIRL TO? DADDY! DADDY! HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU GIRLS.
HOW ARE YA? WHAT'S GOIN' ON? GUESS WHAT! I ATE A WHOLE ORANGE AND THREW IT UP, AND IT WAS ALL ORANGE! I KNOW.
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL! DADDY, COME OUT AND PLAY WITH US.
OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- YOU GUYS GO OUTSIDE, I'LL HIDE IN HERE, AND WHEN I'M DONE, I'LL COME OUT AND TELL YOU WHERE I WAS! YAY! YAY! ALL RIGHT! GO ON, GIRLS.
OH, I'M HIDING, I'M HIDING.
OH, SWEETIE, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE BEEN WITH THE KIDS ALL DAY, AND I REALLY NEED TO FINISH DINNER.
WOULD YOU HELP ME OUT? SURE, SURE.
OH, THANKS, HONEY.
OKAY, I'M DONE HIDING.
HERE I COME! AHHHH.
SUCKER! MOMMY, DADDY'S JUMPING ON MY POGO STICK! THAT'S GREAT, SWEETHEART.
[ SQUEAKING .]
OHH! [ THUD .]
OOH! OOH! OH, MY GOD, HONEY! WHAT HAPPENED? "FUN FOR ALL AGES" -- WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP! OH! DADDY HURT HIS KNEE.
AND THEN HE SAID A BAD WORD.
FIVE TIMES.
IN A ROW.
HONEY, IF THEY DON'T LEARN IT FROM ME, THEY'RE GONNA PICK IT UP ON THE STREET.
HAH! OH, BABY.
OKAY, WE'RE HERE -- RIGHT HERE.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
OKAY.
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
[ GROANS .]
OOH! AH! OKAY, CHERYL, CHERYL, CHERYL.
OKAY.
OKAY, CHERYL, CHERYL.
OKAY.
I'M FINE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.
OHH.
OH, CHERYL, GO OVER THERE AND TAKE SOME OF THOSE RUBBER GLOVES.
FORGET IT! OH, COME ON! THEY GET 'EM FREE FROM THE GLOVE GUY.
I AM NOT STEALING.
CHERYL, COME ON! WE TAKE SOME HOME, BLOW 'EM UP, PAINT FACES ON 'EM -- THEY'LL KEEP THE KIDS ENTERTAINED FOR HOURS.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY.
DR.
BUTELLO! HI! I'M FINE! HI! OKAY.
JIM, I CHECKED YOUR X-RAY NOTHING'S BROKEN.
IS THAT TENDER? YES! IT'S JUST AS TENDER AS IT WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SQUEEZED IT.
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU AN ANTI-INFLAMMATORY FOR THE PAIN, BUT FIRST I WANT TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE IT'S NOT GONNA INTERACT WITH YOUR BLOOD-PRESSURE MEDICINE.
ALL RIGHT? I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.
UH, OKAY, W-- UH, BLOOD-PRESSURE MEDICINE? JIM, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING BLOOD-PRESSURE MEDICINE? WELL, I DON'T KNOW, HONEY.
IF IT'S ON THE CHART THERE, IT MUST BE TRUE.
I'M NOT A DOCTOR.
OKAY HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON? AH, A COUPLE WEEKS.
UH-HUH.
A COUPLE MONTHS! SIX MONTHS, HONEY! HONEY! WHAT?! THIS IS SERIOUS! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? SHE STOLE RUBBER GLOVES! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU KEPT THIS FROM ME.
I MEAN, I NEVER SAW YOU TAKE ANY PILLS.
I WAS GRINDIN' THEM UP IN MY BEER.
JIM I AM SO MAD AT YOU, AND I WANT TO YELL AT YOU, BUT I'M AFRAID YOU'LL GET ALL UPSET AND DIE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! I DID.
I WROTE IT IN A LETTER AND MAILED IT TO YOU.
BUT I MIGHT HAVE GOT THE ADDRESS WRONG.
YOU STILL LIVE AT 2635 NOT FOR MUCH LONGER.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO WORRY.
WELL, YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST GIVE ME THE OPTION TO WORRY.
YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE ONE OF THE KIDS.
OW! OH, OKAY, I'LL GO GET YOU AN ICE PACK.
HOLD ON.
HONEY, IT IS NO BIG DEAL.
MEN HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.
THAT'S THE PRICE WE PAY FOR GOIN' OUT IN THE WORLD AND BRINGIN' HOME THE BACON.
WHICH YOU COULD EAT LESS OF, WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT.
NOT UNTIL THEY MAKE A BACON PATCH.
HEY, HOW'S JIM'S KNEE? OH, JUST BRUISED.
THE DOCTOR TOLD HIM TO TAKE IT EASY FOR A FEW DAYS.
OOH, GOOD LUCK SLOWIN' DOWN THAT DYNAMO.
THANK YOU FOR BABYSITTING.
I REALLY OWE YOU ONE.
OH, GREAT, BECAUSE I NEED TO BORROW YOUR BLACK WRAPAROUND DRESS, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
OKAY.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BORROW IT? CARRIE'S GETTING MARRIED! OH, MY GOD! ANDY'S EX-GIRLFRIEND?! THIS IS GONNA KILL HIM! I KNOW.
I KNOW.
I DON'T WANT TO HURT HIM, BUT I'VE KNOWN CARRIE SINCE COLLEGE.
I INTRODUCED THE TWO OF 'EM.
YOU KNOW, IF SHE'S GETTING MARRIED, HE'S GONNA FIND OUT.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SHOULD PROBABLY JUST TELL HIM.
NO, DON'T, DON'T.
LET ME TELL HIM.
YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE ROUGH ON ANDY.
I HAVE NOT! REMEMBER HOW YOU TOLD HIM THE DOG DIED? YOU PUT IT IN HIS BED! HE WAS FOUR! I THOUGHT HE NEEDED A VISUAL! Jim: CHERYL! ICE! JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS.
OHH.
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? OH, DANA WAS JUST TELLING ME ABOUT THIS -- I ALREADY DON'T CARE.
HEY, HONEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE MY KNEE FEEL A LOT BETTER? WHAT? SOME NACHOS.
NO.
YOU ARE CUTTING BACK ON SNACKING, YOU'RE GONNA EXERCISE MORE -- OR AT ALL, AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR STRESS LEVEL, HONEY.
KEEPING STUFF ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE IS NOT HEALTHY.
CHERYL, YOU'RE MY WIFE.
HOW I FEEL ABOUT THINGS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
LOOK, JIM, I REALLY WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME MORE -- I MEAN IT, LIKE IF SOMETHING HAPPENS AT WORK OR IF YOU'RE UPSET OR WORRIED.
NOT ME, HON.
IT'S NOT THE GUY I AM, HONEY.
I DON'T SHARE WELL.
YOU'RE WILLING TO BLOW OFF STEAM AT TOTAL STRANGERS, LIKE YELLING AT WAITERS OR HOLDING UP TRAFFIC SO YOU CAN YELL AT SOME GUY IN A TOLLBOOTH.
THEY'VE BEEN COLLECTING QUARTERS FOR 20 YEARS.
THAT BRIDGE IS MORE THAN PAID FOR.
OH, HONEY.
I LOVE YOU.
EVERY DAY I LOOK FORWARD TO YOU WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU.
YEAH? YEAH.
WOULD YOU CRY? YEAH.
WOULD YOU CRY A LOT? [ CHUCKLES .]
YEAH.
WOULD YOU CRY SO HARD YOU THREW UP? ALL OVER THE PLACE.
ALL RIGHT.
FINE.
I'LL TELL YOU HOW I FEEL.
THANK YOU.
I FEEL LIKE NACHOS.
WELL, HELLO, PEOPLE I SEE EVERY DAY.
DADDY! DADDY! HI, BABY.
HOW ARE YOU, GIRLS? DADDY, COME TO OUR TEA PARTY.
YOU COULD POUR THE TEA.
ALL RIGHT, BUT DON'T LET ME SIT NEXT TO BEAR, 'CAUSE WE DON'T GET ALONG.
GIRLS, YOU KNOW WHAT? DADDY REALLY NEEDS TO TAKE IT EASY, SO WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GO START THE TEA PARTY, AND I'LL BRING YOU COOKIES IN A MINUTE.
OKAY, MOMMY.
OKAY? THANK YOU, SWEETIES.
AND YOU ME.
I WANT YOU TO SIT OVER HERE AND DO NOTHING.
NOTHING? THAT MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE THING TO DO MAYBE OF ALL TIME.
COME ON OVER HERE AND DO NOTHING WITH ME.
HEY, HONEY, DO YOU WANT A DRINK? RED WINE IS SUPPOSED TO LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT BUT MAKE IT A BEER.
OH.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? FINE.
JIM, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.
I REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW YOUR DAY WAS.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
LET'S SEE.
MAURICE, THE TILE GUY, QUIT.
AND HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? LIKE I NEED A NEW TILE GUY.
NO, JIM.
HOW DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL? LIKE, DID IT UPSET YOU, DID IT FRUSTRATE YOU? NO.
THIS IS FRUSTRATING ME.
LOOK, IF WE'RE GONNA REDUCE YOUR STRESS LEVEL, I REALLY NEED A LITTLE BIT OF HELP HERE.
[ SIGHS .]
ALL RIGHT.
THE GUY TICKED ME OFF, OKAY? I MEAN, HE LEFT ME HIGH AND DRY.
OH, HONEY.
OHH.
AND I THINK HE STOLE MY PUTTY KNIFE.
OH, SWEETIE.
OH, AND THAT REALLY UPSET ME.
YEAH.
OH, THIS FEELS SO GOOD.
OH, HONEY.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU HAVE SOME KNOTS IN YOUR BACK.
I'M GONNA GO GET SOME MASSAGE OIL, OKAY? YES! HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, GARY? WE PLAY THIS RIGHT, WE COULD SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES IN PAJAMAS! HEY, CHERYL.
GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
WHAT'S UP? YEAH, ANDY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT DOWN.
UH-OH.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT FRIEND OF DANA'S FROM COLLEGE, THAT BLONDE? YOU MEAN CARRIE WHO I WENT OUT WITH FOR SIX MONTHS? YEAH.
THIS MAY BE KINDA HARD FOR YOU TO HEAR.
CARRIE'S GETTING MARRIED.
OH, MY GOD.
[ EXHALES .]
I-IF WE DIDN'T BREAK UP AND IF I GOT ALONG WITH HER PARENTS AND -- AND IF SHE STILL LOVED ME THAT COULD'VE BEEN ME.
OH, HONEY, AT LEAST YOU HAVE YOUR MEMORIES.
YEAH, AND SOME OF HER STUFF THAT WOULDN'T BURN.
ACTUALLY, I STILL HAVE TO GIVE HER BACK HER BIKE.
OH, IT'S GONNA BE SO AWKWARD TO SEE HER AGAIN.
YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU LET ME DO THAT? YOU KNOW, YOU TEND TO GET A LITTLE OVERLY EMOTIONAL WHEN IT COMES TO CARRIE.
YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU DO IT.
OKAY.
WELL, I SMELLED IT COMING UP THE DRIVEWAY, I SMELLED IT IN THE GARAGE.
TELL ME IT'S TRUE.
YUP.
CARRIE'S GETTING MARRIED.
[ SNIFFS .]
NO, THAT'S NOT THE SMELL.
I'M MAKING LASAGNA.
YES! AND IT'S HEALTHY.
I MADE IT WITH NONFAT CHEESE.
WOW! THAT OUGHTA BE REAL BLAND! DADDY! DADDY! HEY, GIRLS.
GIRLS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO DADDY? WE LOVE YOU.
AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO PLAY WITH US.
WOW, I KNEW INSIDE THIS FAMILY THERE WAS A BETTER FAMILY TRYING TO GET OUT.
ANDY, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? TAKE THE GIRLS UPSTAIRS, HELP THEM CLEAN THEIR ROOM.
ALL RIGHT, UM, GIRLS, COME ON.
WOW.
HEY, KYLE.
HOW ARE YA? EVERYBODY'S GONE.
IT'S NICE AND QUIET.
SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY? IT WAS GOOD.
REALLY? NOW, WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "GOOD"? WELL, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, MAURICE, THE TILE GUY, CAME BACK, AND I FOUND MY PUTTY KNIFE.
I FORGOT I LEFT IT IN THE KITCHEN.
I WAS MAKING A SANDWICH WITH IT.
FINE, JIM.
WAIT, WHERE YOU GOING, MRS.
MAGIC FINGERS? NO, NO, HONEY.
THAT'S FINE.
KEEP IT ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S SEE.
THERE WAS ONE THING.
OH, REALLY? WELL, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
WELL, YOU KNOW THE ANDERSON JOB? YEAH.
WHAT HAPPENED? WELL, THEY RAN INTO A LITTLE FINANCIAL TROUBLE, AND THEY FILED CHAPTER 11.
WOW, THAT'S BANKRUPTCY, ISN'T IT? YUP.
SO WE GOTTA EAT ABOUT $10,000 IN COSTS.
WOW.
$10,000.
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? I'M SURE ANOTHER JOB WILL COME ALONG, AND WE ARE GONNA BE JUST FINE.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I DO FEEL BETTER TALKING ABOUT IT.
AW, GOOD, HONEY.
NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO NOW? I WANT YOU TO GO IN, SIT IN YOUR CHAIR, PUT YOUR FEET UP, WHILE I FINISH DINNER.
I LOVE THIS FAMILY! AWW! NOW, HONEY, I WANT YOU TO JUST RELAX.
OKAY? OKAY.
KYLE, WE'RE GOIN' UNDER.
OH, MAN, I HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.
THEY STILL MAKE TATER TOTS, DON'T THEY? WHAT'S GOIN' ON? OH, YOU KNOW HOW WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP I LIKE TO GIVE MYSELF REALLY HARD MATH PROBLEMS? LOOK.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW? PLUTO REALLY DOES HAVE AN ELLIPTICAL ORBIT! WEIRD.
WELL, LET'S GO TO BED.
HOLD ON.
HOLD ON, CHERYL.
CALCULATOR, BANK STATEMENTS -- I CAN PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? OKAY.
I THINK I FOUND A SOLUTION TO OUR MONEY PROBLEMS.
WHAT MONEY PROBLEMS? I'M GONNA TAKE OUT A SECOND MORTGAGE ON THE HOUSE TO HELP COVER YOUR LOSSES ON THE ANDERSON JOB.
WHAT?! YEAH! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT, HONEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COME ON, THINGS FALL APART IN THE CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY ALL THE TIME.
THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALWAYS MOVING FROM ONE JOB TO THE NEXT ONE BEFORE WE FINISH.
THAT'S WHY PEOPLE HATE US! I HAD TO DO SOMETHING! WOULD YOU PLEASE NOT EAT THESE?! NO! NO! THEY'RE FAT-FREE.
THEY'RE GOOD FOR ME.
NOT BY THE DOZEN.
SEE, THIS IS WHY I DON'T SHARE, OKAY? YOU SAY YOU WANT TO HEAR MY PROBLEMS.
I TELL YOU ONE, AND YOU GO COMPLETELY NUTS! PROTECTING YOUR FAMILY IS NOT NUTS.
NOW, PRETENDING YOU'RE BLIND TO TRY TO GET A FREE DOG, THAT'S NUTS.
THOSE IDIOTS DESERVED TO GET RIPPED OFF.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO STOP ME WHEN I DROVE AWAY.
JIM, THIS IS SERIOUS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? SIT DOWN.
OHH.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, HONEY? WHAT? IS A NICE, RELAXING MASSAGE.
OHH, YEAH.
OH.
OKAY.
GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.
OKAY, CHERYL.
HERE'S CARRIE'S BIKE.
YOU SAID YOU'D TAKE IT BACK.
YOU WRECKED HER BIKE? ACTUALLY, IT FELL OFF THE ROOF ON THE WAY OVER.
OH.
THEN I NUDGED IT TO THE CURB WITH MY CAR CHERYL, THIS DRESS LOOKS TOO GOOD ON ME.
I DON'T WANT TO UPSTAGE CARRIE AT HER OWN WEDDING.
YOU'RE GOING TO CARRIE'S WEDDING? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TELL HIM.
YOU KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO THE WEDDING? OH, I'M SORRY, ANDY.
I DIDN'T WANT YOUR FEELINGS TO GET HURT.
YOU SEE, CHERYL? I SHOULD'VE JUST TOLD HIM MYSELF.
WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO, PUT A SICK DOG IN MY BED? IT WAS DEAD, ANDY.
OH, GOD.
YOU GUYS, JIM'S HOME, OKAY? AND HE'S ALREADY UPSET ABOUT THE ANDERSON JOB FALLING THROUGH, SO WHAT? THAT DIDN'T FALL THROUGH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
JIM TOLD ME THEY WENT BANKRUPT, AND YOU GUYS LOST ALL THAT MONEY.
NO.
THAT WAS LIKE A MONTH AGO.
EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW.
WE-WE GOT PAID.
I'M GONNA KILL HIM.
IF THERE'S ANY WAY AT ALL YOU COULD KEEP MY NAME OUT OF THIS HEY.
TROUBLE WITH THE PAPERBOY? YOU KNOW, GUYS, JIM LOOKS LIKE HE'S HAD SORT OF A ROUGH DAY.
WOULD YOU RUN IN AND GET US A GLASS OF WINE? I'D KIND OF LIKE TO STAY.
GO.
HEY, BABY.
SO, HONEY, HOW'S IT GOING WITH THE ANDERSON JOB? OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT WORKED OUT JUST FINE.
THEY GOT THE MONEY.
OH, THAT'S GREAT! I KNOW! HOW? UM, HOW? LET'S SEE, UH WELL, HERE'S A FUNNY STORY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY FOUND A DEED TO A GOLD MINE BEHIND ONE OF THE PAINTINGS.
YOU LIED TO ME! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.
THE ANDERSON JOB.
ANDY TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT.
YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP ME IN THE LIE LOOP.
JIM, I ALMOST REMORTGAGED OUR HOUSE.
THIS IS MAYBE THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE.
HONEY, WATCH THE YELLING.
I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.
WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS? HONEY, I DON'T KNOW.
I DIDN'T PLAN TO.
IT'S JUST -- I TOLD YOU WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR, THAT'S ALL.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ALL RIGHT, LOOK, WHEN I CAME HOME THAT DAY YEAH? I TOLD YOU THAT THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG.
BUT THEN YOU KEPT ASKING QUESTIONS AND PUSHING.
COME ON, ADMIT IT.
YOU WANTED ME TO HAVE A PROBLEM SO YOU CAN SWOOP DOWN AND FIX IT.
THAT IS SO NOT TRUE.
I DON'T SWOOP DOWN AND FIX THINGS.
ACTUALLY, YOU ARE KIND OF A SWOOPER.
WHAT? WELL, LIKE HOW YOU WERE GONNA TELL ANDY ABOUT THE CARRIE THING.
IT'S OKAY.
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
WHEREAS YOU ARE A BACKSTABBER.
YOU LIKE TO STAB PEOPLE IN THE BACK.
YEAH, THANKS FOR DECODING THAT.
FACE IT, CHERYL.
YOU ALWAYS MAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS YOUR PROBLEMS.
THAT'S WHY YOU ALWAYS GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS, LIKE ANDY AND DANA.
WELL, I'M SORRY.
SO I LIKE TO HELP PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW, CHERYL, MY THERAPIST SAYS WHAT YOU DO IS CALLED COMPULSIVE CARETAKING.
SEE? IT'S A DISEASE.
OH, I SEE.
SO I'M SICK.
MM-HMM.
UH-HUH.
MM-HMM.
WHA-- I'M SICK BECAUSE I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE I LOVE? GOOD.
GOOD, CHERYL.
THAT'S GOOD.
ADMITTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP OF GETTING BETTER.
AND WE'RE GONNA FIGHT THIS THING TOGETHER TILL YOU NEVER HELP ANOTHER PERSON AGAIN.
HEY, HONEY.
HEY, HONEY.
SO, UH AREN'T YOU GONNA ASK ME ABOUT HOW MY DAY WENT? NOPE.
GOOD.
THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S GREAT, CHERYL.
YOU KNOW, AT WORK TODAY, I HAD A LITTLE PROBLEM.
THE PICKUP TRUCK BROKE DOWN, AND, GEE, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I SHOULD JUST FIX THAT OR BUY A NEW ONE.
IT'S YOUR CALL, SWEETIE.
[ CHUCKLES .]
WHAT'S THIS? DINNER -- STEAK.
I CAN EAT RED MEAT? YEAH.
ABOUT YOUR POTATO, WHAT DO YOU WANT -- BUTTER, SOUR CREAM, OR BOTH? HONEY, IF I CAN HAVE BUTTER AND SOUR CREAM, I DON'T NEED A POTATO.
[ LAUGHS .]
OKAY.
I'M GONNA EAT IT NOW.
HERE IT GOES.
COW'S GOIN' INTO THE BARN.
BON APPETIT, JIM.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THIS STEAK? NO, HONEY.
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID, AND, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.
PEOPLE DON'T NEED ME HELPING THEM ALL THE TIME.
GOOD.
GOOD.
THAT'S REALLY GOOD, CHERYL.
YOU LEARNED A LESSON -- NOBODY'S PERFECT.
I'M SURE I HAVE FAULTS, TOO.
WHOO! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT! YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SUCKING ALL OF THE FUN OUT OF THIS.
HOW? WELL, I-I-I MISS IT.
I'D LOVE YOUR ANNOYING STUFF.
YOU KNOW, YOUR ANNOYING LITTLE QUESTIONS AND YOUR RED WINE AND YOUR NONFAT CHEESE AND "BUCKLE YOUR SEAT BELT" AND "PUT SOME SUNSCREEN ON" AND "PUT SOME PANTS ON.
" BUT, JIM, YOU SAID I HAD A DISEASE.
IT'S A GOOD ONE.
COME ON, HONEY, FACE IT.
IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, I'D BE 350 POUNDS, WITH NO KIDS, EATING BEANS OUT OF A CAN IN HOBO TOWN.
I MEAN, ALL THIS STUFF YOU DO, YOU KNOW, MAKES ME KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME.
ARE YOU SHARING YOUR FEELINGS WITH ME? NO.
I'M JUST TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT, YOU KNOW, I LOVE YOU.
THAT'S A FEELING.
ALL RIGHT, DON'T GET COCKY.
SO WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT STUFF? [ SIGHS .]
ALL RIGHT.
BUT IF I COME HOME, AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, I'M NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING.
THAT'S FAIR.
OH, AND ALSO, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAY.
[ LAUGHS .]
SO, THIS IS FOR ME? NO, ACTUALLY, THAT'S MINE.
THIS IS FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD GO WITH THIS? HMM? A SIDE OF PIZZA.
NO.
HOW ABOUT A BEER? ONE.
PUT THE STEAK DOWN.
AH! HEY, HONEY.
HI, HONEY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WELL, LET'S SEE.
I WAS HAPPY SAD UPSET HUNGRY THEN I STEERED MY WAY BACK TO HAPPY.
WHAT'S FOR DINNER? SOY BURGERS.
THEN I WAS A LITTLE ANNOYED.