Ally Mcbeal s01e16 Episode Script

Sexaholic? I found a shrink who will testify he is a sexaholic.
He's a senator.
We can't portray him like that.
Politicians love that.
They call his penis the Titanic.
Over 1500 - Richard! - Bygones.
We won't win that way.
It's one affair that led to marriage.
- Lf there are other affairs? - There's no evidence.
Let's get some so we can argue sexaholic.
Richard! Let's just focus.
We're nervous.
Let's calm down.
- Summary judgment motion.
- The Supreme Court ruled on that.
On the president, not senators.
If the president can be sued it will be hard to say the senator can't.
- We should still try.
- Richard.
- Ally.
- Richard.
John? We have a real shot on the merits.
- Lf we argue a law - The Supreme Court ruled on.
- We'll look more desperate - Hurting our credibility.
Have you been passing notes? The summary judgment argument is made before the judge alone.
- There's no risk in looking silly.
- Exactly.
- There is the risk - Of alienating the judge.
You go.
Losing our credibility with the judge could affect our chances at trial.
Richard will argue it.
With respect to the law, he has no credibility.
There you go! It's been a while since I was in court.
Yes.
Good.
I can do it.
Good.
This is the highest profile case we've ever had.
Richard is going to stand up and argue points of law? I've been down this road Forbidden Fruits Walking the line That's painted by pride And I have made mistakes in my life That I just can't hide Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring I got myself together Now I'm ready to sing I've been searching my soul tonight I know there's so much more to life Now I know I can shine a light To find my way back home Oh, baby, yeah Oh, yeah John? - Isometrics already? - I'm having trouble with my dismounts.
- What are you doing? - I'm going to argue in court.
I heard the bells.
Watch.
Whoops! That doesn't count.
Don't forget the button.
On your jacket.
When you first rise, you button your coat.
A sign of respect to the judge.
Shows you respect him and his room.
You stand.
You swell with posture.
- Then go for the button.
- Excellent.
What about the fly? - Big case.
You sure you're up to it? - I am.
We'll try to get a stay until after your term.
Breaking up a marriage hardly falls under congressional immunity.
Richard thinks it can cover personal conduct.
I think it's a long shot.
At trial they'll be getting into how you two met.
Patterns of sexual activity.
This case is made for the media.
How can this go forward? - Marriages break up all the time.
- Interference with marital relations.
An ex-wife sued her husband's mistress last year and got a million.
Which is why we should shut it down.
Okay.
It's stupid.
One guy sues another for breaking up his marriage.
Stupid? Why shouldn't you take responsibility? - He.
- Right.
He.
Have you been up against Anna Flint? They say she's something.
She's not the greatest lawyer, but she's got this amazing smile.
- I hear she's a bitch! - Totally.
- I believe it.
- Me too.
She also tries to bait opposing attorneys.
Don't let her.
I won't.
- Ready? - I hope.
Legal memorandum, blue.
Outlines, red.
Discovery pleadings, hot pink.
I've highlighted parts of depositions that might be helpful.
Let's go.
- Is the courtroom this way? - Pretend you know.
- All set? - Ready.
- There she is.
- I see her.
I don't see what the big deal is.
This is Anna Flint.
She's going to be trying this case.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Georgia Thomas.
- Hi.
- Pleasure.
Wow! That is a smile.
All rise.
Be seated.
I'm informed the defendant wants to be heard in summary judgment.
Yes.
Addressing this issue would be my colleague, Richard Fish.
Before making my argument I'd like to come clean with my lack of objectivity.
In addition to being an attorney I'm a citizen of the United States.
I am appalled that our government can be hampered by these lawsuits.
The president of the United States may be sued.
So why not a senator? I'm glad you asked me.
It allows me to comment on a detail ignored in the Clinton-Jones ruling.
- What? - They screwed up.
- Who? - The Supreme Court.
Bad ruling.
- The Supreme Court screwed up? - Yes.
You would like me to substitute your judgment for theirs? Yes.
- Do I win? - No, Mr.
Fish.
Their ruling was based on their conclusion that the president being sued wouldn't take up much of his time.
Not going to take up any time? The Supreme Court, they're old.
And the media? Pick up a newspaper.
What do they cater to? Dirt, sleaze, gossip, crap.
- How is that relevant here? - For two reasons.
One: The public.
They're either on Jerry Springer or on jury duty.
Two: Lawyers like me.
I'll sue anybody.
Merits, who cares? I'll go after senators for fun.
And cripple their ability to work! Today's media don't check facts.
I can say you have sex with a goat.
Newsweek will print it.
Your docket becomes spin control.
The Supreme Court blew that ruling.
I'll say it to you and them: Bad, bad ruling! Quiet! Quiet down! Despite your analysis I've decided not to overrule our highest court.
- Note "damn it" for the record.
- Trial starts tomorrow at 10.
That was pretty impressive.
Yep.
That's our Richard.
Ally forgive me for saying this but is it appropriate to wear such a short skirt in the courtroom? I shouldn't have said anything.
It's just, as a woman And as a woman, Anna we all know they're not real.
- What aren't real? Those teeth.
Men are sent to war.
National interest is put before their lives.
But it can't be put before the wimp who cries because his wife left him? Politicians will drop everything to defend their image.
You should tell this guy not to talk.
He said he would stop when his 15 minutes are up.
Should this be a case? A jilted spouse suing the one that came between them? I think so.
My perspective could be a bit off.
I'm the person coming in between.
Where's your perspective, Ally? Isn't this embarrassing, suing the man your wife left you for? More pathetic would be to sit home and feel sorry for myself.
Some might accuse you of acting out.
I am acting out.
I'm speaking out.
My wife and I had a happy marriage.
And then he invaded it.
He ended it.
- You're sure it wasn't doomed anyway? - My wife told me.
She said she still loved me.
She couldn't imagine not ever being with me forever.
Until he came along.
Was she just saying that? Many times when somebody tries to end a relationship you flatter them in the process.
That's what I do.
There's still no denying the fact that he pursued a married woman.
The law should enforce a marriage contract? The law should hold accountable anyone breaching it.
- One second to confer with counsel.
- Quickly.
- You're doing terribly.
- I'm not done.
So far, it's awful.
Bygones.
What about the man who doesn't pursue the woman yet he's attracted to her? - There's nothing wrong with that? - No.
If the woman was also attracted, maybe she too fell in love.
- Can't really blame the guy, can you? - No, but Suppose they stay away from each other, despite their attraction.
Suppose they deny their attraction.
But still, there's no denying that they love each other.
Have they committed any offense? If they haven't acted on it.
But if he acts Isn't it difficult to draw that line? Where is the act? Two people near each other.
The attraction takes on its own life.
Where does the man cross the line? A smile? An extended gaze? An admission of the attraction itself? Isn't it impossible to draw that line? - How did it go? - Great.
Ally blurred the lines.
- Now, it's John's turn.
Ready? - I am.
- Georgia? - Shut up.
What? Sorry.
I didn't mean that.
- What's wrong? - Shut up.
Maybe we could speak in private.
Every time I think I'm making progress I realize the two of you haven't.
- She was defending a client.
- Boy, was she good.
She couldn't have been better if she were defending herself.
- Why don't you go get a new haircut? - What? - I am getting sick of this! - You are? You yell when you're wrong.
I do not! Why are we lying about this? You're still in love with her.
Why are we lying about this? - Georgia? - I'm off this case.
- We're a team.
- I'm off your team! I need you for a second.
Leave what's between us out of the courtroom.
That was unprofessional.
It was out of line.
I'm sorry I missed it.
- Team meeting? - Shut up, Richard! This office is fraught with emotional volatility.
Don't you ever just unload and then leave without me having my say.
- Let's have it.
- Have what? Your say.
Let's have it.
- I don't have one.
- What? I don't know what your say was.
How can I have a response? But you didn't know I didn't when you stormed out.
- You're a wacko, Ally! - I'm not the one having tantrums.
What's the matter? You want to know? - You think I'm trying to break you up? - Do I think you're trying? You can do things without trying.
Look - You are competing with history.
- Do you really believe that? He's not going to leave you, Georgia.
You would at least see a hint of it.
I haven't really been looking for that hint.
But I have.
I admit it.
I haven't encouraged it.
I don't even want it, but I have wondered.
- This dialogue is too healthy for me.
- You and I are friends.
Even if Billy could betray you, I couldn't.
It's true.
Do you remember "Truth or Dare"? That stupid high school game? Yeah.
Truth.
If you and Billy were stranded on a deserted island, no one around no one would ever find out, couldn't possibly find out are you telling me nothing would happen? - Nothing would happen.
- Nothing? Nope.
Can you be sure that the senator pursued Mrs.
Bepp? In the office, people had been working late.
There was a boom box going.
He asked her to dance.
- But I've been asked to dance.
- There go the teeth.
- I don't find it offensive.
- Bitch.
He looked really predatory.
I heard him say, "Would you dance with me for the rest of your life?" The song playing was by the Supremes, "Someday We'll Be Together.
" Yes, I believe so.
Mr.
Colson.
Have you ever been swept up by a song? Excuse me? For example, while driving.
A song you like comes on the radio.
And suddenly you drive faster.
Has that ever happened? Sure.
Maybe you're at a party talking politics, and music is playing and you look down at your foot and it's tapping.
That happens.
- Of course.
Has your shoulder ever moved, not while dancing, while standing? Sure.
In that moment, your foot tapping, shoulder swinging, maybe even a hip your eye goes to someone else enjoying the music.
A pretty woman.
Looking like she might care to dance.
Did you ever just ask that woman to dance? Just out of the sway of the moment.
Just, "Hey, let's dance.
" I have to object.
Suddenly, you're arrested by the most beautiful face.
You say: - "Dance with me.
May I?" - No.
- Objection! - Mr.
Cage.
I'm sorry, the music moved me.
Compounded by her face.
I didn't mean anything by it.
I apologize.
- So you lied.
- Through my teeth.
Should I say, "If we're on a deserted island, it's a horizontal life"? - Sometimes you have to lie.
- Georgia has a point then.
No! She's not right about me busting up her marriage.
What was that? That little huggy bastard just threw a spear at me.
Ally.
The time has come.
- You gotta go into therapy.
- Come on.
With everything I've got going, my insurance would never cover it.
This Billy-Georgia thing is getting worse.
It affects your case.
- Imaginary babies throw spears at you.
- So what? - You're wacko! - And I like it.
Now, we know the seed of this crap.
You either get into a room with Billy and Georgia, or with a doctor.
But this has gone on long enough.
Even if I get past all of my problems, I'm just going to get new ones.
I like being a mess.
It's who I am.
- Ally.
- John.
This Flint woman is a trickster.
She may call a new witness, try to introduce something unexpected.
What she wants is to get you into a sidebar.
Then she smiles.
She smiles? While you contort, she grins warmly, inviting the jury to love her.
- When this happens, you must smile.
- Okay.
- Have your cheeks reach upward.
- I know how to smile.
- This woman is good, Ally.
- I can smile with anybody.
Should the ooga chucka infant dash into the room, please ignore him.
Yes.
- Hey.
- Could you sit? Think Elroy will retire after getting a Super Bowl ring? Rings are only symbolic.
Georgia and I talked all night.
Talking? You're married.
I was kidding.
I told her I still love you.
You What? I'm not gonna lie about it.
I always will love you.
We grew up together.
You'll always be a part of me.
Oh.
Oh.
The part-of-me kind of love.
But I also told her that my feelings for you don't compromise my love for her.
Well, then it's all settled.
- It's not settled.
It's a problem.
- No, it's not my problem.
- Stop ducking responsibility.
- It's your marriage.
What happens between me and Georgia shouldn't involve you, but it does.
I blame myself for letting it get to this point! We went to a therapist this morning.
We're going back but he wants to meet you.
He wants to talk to you No.
I won't even go to mine.
- It sounds crazy, but - It's insane.
What therapist could possibly recommend that? Normal rules don't apply here.
- Coffee? - Get out! I won't go to your counselor.
That is the most ridiculous thing.
Maybe not the most ridiculous.
I can't go on like this.
I'll never figure this out until you figure it out.
I think that you should get together for a night and get it out of your systems.
Call me a psycho.
I don't care.
You two need to know if this is really there or not.
Take a night.
Take a weekend.
Just find out.
- Georgia, that's - Absurd.
You want to deny you need to know, do that too.
But I need to know.
I need to know.
- That's not an appropriate solution.
- It's not the way I'd go.
I have to get to court.
I have to go defend that the senator.
Bye.
- What? - You heard me.
By "it" she meant what? She didn't spell it out, but what she meant was clear.
- "It" it? - "It" it.
She suggested that Billy and I get "it" it out of our system.
- Well, are you? - Am I what? Are you going to do "it" it with "Billy" Billy? No.
The fact that she would even suggest "it.
" I gotta hand it to Georgia.
That's stepping up.
Come on.
- We're gonna talk about this later.
- You can count on that.
- Miss Flint, any more witnesses? - One second, Your Honor.
I sense the trickster.
- Mrs.
Foote, formerly Mrs.
Bepp.
- We object to that.
Is there a problem with her story? Sidebar, Your Honor.
- Your Honor, adultery is a crime.
- That is an archaic law.
Technically, it's a punishable crime.
I'd ask the court for some common sense.
I would ask the court to recognize the Bill of Rights.
Okay, we will.
We will, Richard.
It went well, but he still wants us there for Foote's testimony.
He doesn't want the jury sensing any attrition.
I've never been more offended than by what you said.
I am sick of convincing myself of something you aren't convinced of.
How many husbands admit they still love former girlfriends? - You should score points? - I should! Fine.
Sleep with her.
Hit the jackpot.
- That woman, Mrs.
Bepp - Mrs.
Foote now.
When she was Mrs.
Bepp, she thought she was happy.
She thought she would be with her husband forever.
She was wrong.
She discovered love could run deeper than she imagined.
Me and Ally? We loved each other.
I discovered what it meant to really love when I was with her.
- I am thrilled for you.
- You should be.
What I am trying to say When I chose you I didn't just marry the first person I fell in love with.
I married the person I fell most in love with.
That there was an Ally in my past should make you feel more secure.
That is the best one I've ever heard.
What's stopping me, Georgia? If she loves me and I love her what's stopping me?! - Good question! If you don't know the answer then you don't know me.
Thanks for having a sleepover.
I'm a simpering little needy thing.
It's okay.
They're talking about me.
- Excuse me? - Billy and Georgia.
I can tell.
I can tell when people are talking about me.
My left fibula itches.
- Your what? - My fibula.
It's a bone in my shin.
- It itches? - When people talk about me.
You're thinking about her proposition.
No.
- Come on.
- No! Go to sleep.
Fine.
I loved her.
That's my defense.
When you first asked her to dance? No, but I was infatuated.
The dance wasn't a scheme to interfere in a marriage.
- Senator, at some point you - Yes.
Listen.
We were both married.
There were stakes for me.
Not to mention my political career with the media salivating.
It wasn't a thrill or whim.
I fell in love.
You knew she was married when you asked her to dance? The next Tuesday, you went for coffee.
According to your wife's journal you told her you "longed to be inside of her.
" Emotionally? - Objection.
- Sustained.
You never intended to cause this woman to break up with that man? - Love rarely involves specific intent.
- That's very poetic.
Objection.
That was argumentative.
All right.
Senator did you place a tape of a Nat King Cole song in her inbox? Yes, I think I did.
A long time ago.
A long time ago.
When she was married to my client? Yes.
I'd like to play it for the court.
She's up to something.
Whisper to me Tell me, do you love me true Or is he holding you The way I do? - The song is "He'll Have to Go.
" - That doesn't mean You approach a married woman and ask her to dance forever.
You take her to coffee and say you ache for her.
Then you drop off a song called "He'll Have to Go" - Objection! - Counsel! - That's enough with the antics.
- I apologize.
He asked! In open court? It was his idea.
The judge ream you? He knows how silly the case is and these tactics go hand in hand.
Speaking of hand in hand.
Did you think about Georgia's offer? I'm not saying it's a good idea but how often is the forbidden fruit served on a silver platter? I'm not biting Billy's fruit.
You didn't consider it for a second? Half a second, but not seriously.
All right, five seconds.
- And how was it? - Never mind.
- The only thing is that - What? When Billy and I were together, I wasn't really good at sex.
- And now - What do you mean "now"? I am good in bed, Renee.
What? I'm your roommate.
We have thin walls.
You - I don't sound like that.
- I'm louder breaking in a new shoe.
I am fantastic in bed! - Georgia's here.
- Thank you, Elaine.
Ally, I just I was out of line yesterday.
I'm sorry.
- So Billy's off the table? - Renee! She's a big riot.
I really am sorry.
I can't help but notice what's going on.
Probably because I pay people to listen.
Between us, you should have an affair.
Men want what they can't have.
He wants Ally because he can't have her.
If he'd wanted her, he wouldn't have left.
If you had an indiscretion he'd be insecure and he'd want you.
Right now he knows he has you.
That's the problem.
I see.
So you're alone because every man in Boston knows he can have you? Exactly.
That disparaged me.
He's not here to get rich.
He's not asking for a lot of money.
He's asking that you recognize the sanctity of marriage.
We're quick to blame the cheating partner but what about the person who breaks a marriage up? Are they not responsible? There must be a difference between romantically pursuing a single or married person.
How can we say the institution has any sanctity? What he did was wrong.
Strange that Mr.
Bepp would come to court for such a verdict.
Sad that, in these times, he'd have to.
You better have more than a smile.
I agree with everything she said.
Sad that this issue has to be addressed in court.
More sad that people really don't respect marriage anymore.
He was wrong.
Lots of people commit adultery.
It happens.
No, it shouldn't happen.
It's wrong.
But it's also wrong to think that a jury will make a difference.
If two people love each other so powerfully they'll be together.
Stick laws, a court, a judge, an old girlfriend between them they will still find a way to be together.
Now, I am sure he still loves her.
And she probably still loves him.
But these two They're the ones who are meant to be.
If you're angry because the one you love loves another more I understand it more than you know.
But anybody who has ever been truly, truly in love knows that my client had no choice.
Yes, marriage is and should be a sanctity.
And the one over there it is.
Great, we're on call.
The clerk sensed a swell and thinks they'll be back fast.
- I'm drawn to her.
- What? Oh, no.
Ally, again? - The Flint woman.
I'm drawn to her.
- Take a number, John.
I'm not saying you have no shot.
A woman like that gets hit on all day.
What would you do? - Hey.
- Hey.
Ally's closing.
I don't know if the jury will believe it or if you will but I do.
I'm meant to be with the woman I'm with.
I mean that.
I'd still like you to know it.
I do, Georgia.
I do.
Billy, I don't want to stop with the counseling.
We need it.
Whatever it takes.
If it's guilty, Congress expels you, you'll have to run for president.
Kidding.
Bygones.
- Has the jury reached a verdict? - We have, Your Honor.
What say you? In the matter of Bepp vs.
Foote, intentional marriage interference we find in favor of the defendant.
Thank you for your service.
Court is adjourned.
Thank you, Ally.
That closing Ditto.
- Well, legal training.
- Yeah.
- It was a noble prosecution.
- Thanks.
We did our best.
- What was that? - I thought I saw You touched my wattle, you little perv.
You stinker!