Austin and Ally s01e16 Episode Script

Where's Trish? How long does it take to walk across the mall? I'm starving.
What kind of waitress takes 20 minutes to get to a table? Guess who got a job at The Melody Diner! That kind of waitress.
So what do you wanna eat? I thought you had to sing to the customers here.
Yeah, we're supposed to, but the manager's not looking, so who cares? Wait, Mindy's your manager? She's the worst.
She's always looking over my shoulder, bossing me around.
She drives me nuts Are in the brownies, so save room for dessert! Hey, Mindy.
I hope you're giving this table your best service, because it's got my favorite customer.
I'm talking about you, Dezzy-cakes.
I know you have a crush on me, Mindy, but I'm better at long-distance relationships.
Maybe you should go stand over there Or in Alaska.
You're so cute when you joke around.
You were joking, right? Yeah, totally.
Oh.
So can I take your order now? Can we get a new waitress? Why, because I'm not singing? No.
I want her to be my waitress.
Trish, who is that? That's Cassidy.
She's our best singing waitress.
Hey, Cassidy, come over here and tell them the specials.
Now the soup of the day is cream of spinach.
But hold on, because I ain't finished.
I can sing a ballad About our Cobb salad.
I'll have a Cobb salad! You have a great voice.
I sing too.
I'm Austin Moon.
He's an Internet sensation.
He's sort of a big deal.
This is his friend Dez.
He's not a big deal.
I'm Ally.
I don't know what my deal is.
Well, it's great to meet you Ally, big deal, not a big deal.
I'm totally gonna ask her out.
Let's order first.
You'll have a better shot on a full stomach.
Whatever you do, don't order the chips and salsa.
Why? I want chips and salsa.
Did somebody say salsa? Salsa! - Can I change my order? - No! Dance! When the crowd wants more, I bring on the thunder.
'Cause you've got my back, and I'm not going under.
You're my point, you're my guard.
You're the perfect chord.
And I see our names together on every billboard.
We're headed for the top, we've got it on lock.
We'll make 'em say "hey!" And we'll keep rockin'.
Oh, there's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
It's no fun when you're doing it solo.
With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
I own this dream.
'Cause I got you with me.
There's no way I could make it without ya.
Do it without ya, be here without ya.
Woo! I'm stuffed.
- Let's get out of here.
- Hold on.
Not before my Dezzy-muffin tries some of our famous Cha-cha chicken pot pie.
- It'll blow your mind.
- I just don't see how chicken I said eat it! Cha-cha-cha-cha Me likey! There she is.
I'm gonna go ask her out now.
- Oh wait.
- What? - What are you doing? - I'm just Okay.
It's okay.
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
Go get her, tiger.
'Sup? Hey, blondie.
'Sup with you? Hey, Cassidy, you have a great voice.
Do you ever sing about anything besides food? As a matter of fact, I do.
I'm in a band.
No way.
We have so much in common.
We both love music, um, we're both in high school and we're both holding bottles of ketchup.
Cheers.
- You're cute.
- Thanks.
So, Cassidy, I was wondering Do you wanna maybe go out sometime? Sorry, I can't.
Great! I'll meet you at What? Sorry.
I'm sorry, Austin.
Eh, it's cool.
Maybe some dessert will make you feel better.
I don't feel like dancing, so whatever you do, don't order the chocolate shake, the lemon twist or Get the raspberry robot.
- No! - Raspberry robot! Yay! Robot! Okay, I was thinking about this.
There are only three possible reasons why Cassidy won't go out with you.
I'm listening.
One, she has a boyfriend Two, she misunderstood your question - Three - She's a mermaid and her dad won't let her date humans? I was gonna say she just might not be into you.
I think my reason makes more sense.
Hey, buddy, I hear you're having some lady problems.
I can help.
They call me The love whisperer.
Thanks.
And no one calls you that.
Yes, they do.
You just can't hear them because they're whispering it.
Let's stop whispering.
This is serious.
I really like this girl.
I can't stop thinking about her.
Oh.
Just like I can't stop thinking about that cha-cha chicken pot pie.
Anyway, I'm an expert in love.
I have been rejected so many times, I can show you what not to do.
Observe.
Excuse me.
I'm Dez.
I don't have a job and I only shower once a week.
How would you like to be my girlfriend? See? Do not do that.
The love whisperer.
That gets creepier every time you say it.
Yes, it does.
I just wish I knew why Cassidy said no to me, then I could figure out a way to make her like me.
Oh, I know why she said no.
- I talked to her.
- You did? Ooh! What did she say? What did she say? Well, she said she won't go out with you because Hang on.
Hello.
Would I like to take a 20-minute survey? I sure would! Yes.
Bananas.
Yes.
Oh, that's a tough one.
Gorgonzola.
What did she say?! She just asked me what my favorite cheese is.
Not the lady on the phone Cassidy.
Oh.
She said the only reason why she's not going out with you, is because all she has time for is work and her band.
That's a perfectly good reason.
See, Austin? I told you she wasn't a mermaid.
You had to be there.
So it's not me.
She's just too busy.
If I wanna see her I can either join her band or My name's Austin, I'll be your waiter.
The soup of the day is cream of potater! So yeah, what do you guys I'll be right back.
Wow.
You took this job just to be close to Cassidy.
That is so romantic.
Yeah, now I just need to figure out a way Manager alert! A way to make her like me.
There's my new celebrity waiter.
And there's my Dezzy-wezzy-kins.
Yeah, I think that's Dezzy-wezzy-kins' cue to leave.
Hmm.
I have more chicken pot pie.
I can stay for a little bit.
Trish! Can you finish training Austin? I'm kind of busy here.
Or maybe Cassidy can train him.
Don't care, long as he gets trained.
Yes! I get to hang out with Cassidy.
Thanks for looking out for me, Trish.
Huh? No, I was just looking out for me.
I don't wanna do any extra work.
But you still owe me.
Ah.
Hey, Cassidy, Mindy wants you to train me.
Scoot over.
Gotta hear this.
Okay, new guy, watch and learn.
Here are your onion rings.
Lots of joy are what they bring.
Don't you like your veggies fried? Here are your sauces on the side.
Whoa.
That was like the best song.
- I've ever heard about onion rings.
- Thanks.
The best part about this job is getting to sing all day.
Music is the only thing that really speaks to me.
Okay, Ally, you can stop spying on me.
I'm over here now! Austin, this is perfect.
Cassidy just told you what to do to win her over.
Music is the only thing that speaks to her.
You have to write her a song that comes from your heart.
Great, so tell me what comes from my heart.
Austin, I need you.
I need you too.
I mean I mean I need you to tell me why you need me.
Are, uh Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
Why? Because your hand's in the mac and cheese.
Hot.
Just checking if it's hot enough, and it is.
Hot! Ah.
Oh.
We need to go write that song.
Hot.
Okay, a song from the heart needs some real emotion, so what do you like about Cassidy? - She's perfect.
- "Perfect.
" Got it.
- But not too perfect.
- "Not perfect.
" Got it.
Why don't you tell me how she makes you feel? Like I'm wearing a new pair of sneakers.
Or I'm about to eat pancakes.
Or I just did a big loop-de-loop on a roller coaster, and I'm trying not to throw up.
So she makes you feel like you're gonna throw up, pancakes all over your new sneakers? Yeah.
No.
I don't know.
You're the songwriter.
You tell me how I feel.
Ooh! And throw something in there about onion rings.
Okay, onion rings.
Would you like to be throwing them up or just eating them? I don't care, as long as this song makes her happy Because I really like her.
I gotta get back to work and stare at Cassidy.
Ally, I think I have a chicken pot pie problem.
Go on.
More chicken pot pie! Here you go, Dezzy-cakes.
You know when the cha-cha pies run out, so does Dez.
Then I guess we'll have to make sure they never run out.
Dez! Cha-cha-cha-cha- cha-cha-cha-cha Cha-cha-cha- cha-cha-cha-cha-cha! Austin, I gotta talk to you about this song.
- That's the song? Great.
- Austin, wait! It's not done! Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? I'd like to dedicate this song to the coolest girl in here Cassidy.
You're perfect, but not too perfect.
You're the pat of butter on my pancake stack.
You're a roller coaster ride.
And I feel like Throwing up.
Cassidy, go out with me Something about Onion rings Ings.
What am I gonna do? Cassidy hated the song and now she's not gonna like me.
I told you the song wasn't ready.
You called her "the butter on my pancake stack.
" If anything, she's the syrup.
I just wrote all the stuff you told me.
You're the one who can't communicate your feelings.
I can so communicate my feelings.
And right now I'm feeling Feelings! Austin, you know the rules.
You have to sing to the customers.
Now sing! Ally, all I wanted was a song for Cassidy but you let me down.
I did the best I could with what you gave me.
Why am I singing? I don't even work here.
I'm all out of chicken pot pies.
I need some more now Please! Trish, get my Dezzy-roo some more chicken pot pie now! Don't snap your fingers at me.
And stop taking advantage of my friend.
Ewe, did I just call Dezzy-roo my friend? Ewe, did I just call him Dezzy-roo? Somebody just get me my chicken pot pie.
I don't care who it is.
Trish, I don't like your attitude.
You're fired, you're fired.
Fi I-I-I-I red! You can't fire me, because I quit.
I quit, I quit, I quit I quit! Oh! I just wanted to be a good friend, and help you out.
Why am I singing again? Well, you definitely helped.
You helped me blow my chances with Cassidy.
I can't believe you're blaming me for this.
Fine, I'll get my own pie.
I just can't believe he's blaming me.
I was trying to help.
Hey, Ally, got a second? Yeah, sure.
You can go, Trish.
Thanks for listening.
Huh? You were talking to me? Yes, I thought you were taking notes.
No, I was taking a survey about how to be a better listener.
On a scale of one to 10, how'd I do? I'm gonna call that a seven.
Ally, I'm so sorry.
I acted like a total jerk.
I just never been this crazy about anyone.
I get it.
Sometimes crushes make people lose their minds, like how I act like a fool around Dallas.
Yeah, whenever he's around, you always say stupid things and dance all goofy.
Woo! Woo-hoo! Cassidy just She makes my heart beat like a mile a minute.
I can't explain it.
But you just did.
That's the first real feeling about Cassidy you've been able to express.
You're right! We can use that in a new song for her! Oh, you think I'm just gonna write another song for you because you finally opened up your heart? You're not? Of course I am! I love romance! Thanks, Ally.
You're awesome.
Dance it out? Okay, that's what I'm talking about.
What about What about like It's okay.
It was part of it.
It was part of it.
It was That was a part of your dance.
Excuse me, Miss.
Can you please sing me the specials? I already sang them for you seven times.
Well, I'm a customer now and I would like to hear them eight times.
Today's specials are chicken parmesan on a bed of Linguini.
You can stop singing.
We'll take two of those.
I'm not gonna eat any more chicken pot pie, Mindy.
It's taking over my life! So this is the last time I'm coming in here.
Okay, Dezzy-cheeks.
Well, if this is your last time coming in here, let me at least give you some of our famous egg salad on the house.
- Eat it.
- No thanks, I'm I said eat it! Just eat it.
Oh no.
Me likey.
Hey, Cassidy.
Sorry about that song.
It's cool.
I mean, it was weird being compared to butter on pancakes.
If anything, I'm the syrup.
You are so the syrup.
Anyway, that song didn't say what I wanted it to But this one does.
Guys! I can get your heartbeat beat-beat-beating like.
I can get your heartbeat beating like that.
You know you got my heartbeat beat-beat-beating like Hey-ay-ay-ay.
Would you, would you want it if I stood up above the crowd? Got up on a chair and if I shouted your name aloud.
Could you, could you take me, call me baby without a doubt? I'm shouting your name right now, shouting your name right now.
Don't you get it, get it? I'm nothing like them other ones.
Raised upon the notion, I ain't hosting no reruns.
I said it, said it, said it, wouldn't let it be all or none.
Because I ain't no rerun, I ain't no rerun.
I'll make you forget, forget.
What you came here for, here for.
For goodness sake, let's make or break this heart.
Because it needs more.
I can get your heartbeat beat-beat-beating like.
I can get your heartbeat beating like that.
You know you got my heartbeat beat-beat-beating like Hey-ay-ay-ay.
I can get your heartbeat beat-beat-beating like.
I can get your heartbeat beating like that.
You know you got my heartbeat beat-beat-beating like Hey-ay-ay-ay Hey hey.
Let me hear you like Hey hey hey Hey hey.
Can you do it like? Hey-ay-ay-ay.
That was amazing.
I can't believe you wrote that for me.
Thanks.
It came from my heart - Yeah.
- And my mouth.
So what do you say? Will you go out with me? - I'd love to go out with you - Yes! Woo! But I can't.
You can't Wait to go out with me? My band just got a record deal.
We're going to L.
A.
Today is my last day.
Oh.
I'm really happy for you.
Thanks, blondie.
I promise the second I get back we'll have that date.
Woo! Well, we're not going out.
Her band's going to L.
A.
And I may never see her again.
Then why do you seem so happy? Because I know she likes me, and I owe it all to Ally.
Ally? More chicken pot pie! Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm.
I'm gonna make, make, make your chocolate milkshake.
Bam! Woo! Yeah! Because I know you want ketchup.
It's my favorite condiment.
A side of fries is what you'll get.
We ran out of big hotdogs, so I got you just a small one.
It's not a foot long.
No, it's not a foot long.
There's no way I can get you the coleslaw, get you the coleslaw.
No substitutions.
Here's your onion rings.
I'll be right back with drinks.
I talked to my boss she said you can have coleslaw, you can have coleslaw.
Here is your coleslaw.
Bam! Woo!