Buck Rogers in the 25th Century s01e16 Episode Script
A Blast for Buck
There are some people who could harbor a grudge against you: Whose side are you on? [Narrator.]
Buck's experiences must be relived using mind probes: : : In an attempt to solve the mysterious riddle: : : That promises imminent doom to the Earth: Eat lead, sucker: The only ones who can stop us are our enemies! [Man Narrating.]
The year is 1987, and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes: In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck'"Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems: : : And returns Buck Rogers to Earth: : : [Alarm Beeping.]
Dr: Huer, what's going on? The entire complex is under alert: Yes, I know: [Beeping Continues.]
Ten minutes ago, our orbital defense system: : : Registered the presence of hundreds of alien objects in Earth's orbit: Our scanners say that they're out there: But our fighter squadrons have made no visual contact: Could something be jamming their sensors? Perhaps: I don't know: But it's highly unlikely: [Mysterious Humming.]
Doctor, my sensors detect: : : A tightly focused energy beam penetrating our Oh, dear: [Humming.]
[Humming Continues.]
[Chirping.]
Doesn't anybody bother to knock anymore? Dr: Theopolis, what is it? Unknown, Doctor: My sensors are unable to penetrate its exterior: However, in light of its unusual materialization, I would suggest securing the entire Directorate Complex immediately: [Chirping.]
Good idea: I'll secure the basement: - No, Twiki: - Aw, rats: It's impossible! This object does not register on my sensor: This may sound crazy, but have you considered touching that thing? - Touching it? - [Buck.]
Yeah, it may not be a weapon at all: Maybe it's some kind of communication device, touch-activated: - That could be awfully risky, Buck: - Would you rather leave it here, turn it into a plant stand? After all, Doc, your sensors aren't doing any good: What have you got to lose? [Theo.]
Nothing, really: Whoever sent it here has obviously developed: : : A highly sophisticated method of matter transmission: Anyone capable of that, could have killed us all long ago: I think Buck's suggestion is a good one: Well, here goes: Wait, Buck: Be careful, please: Yeah, well, what do I know? [Chirping.]
Killed by a yo-yo: What a way to go: You're right, Buck: It is a communicating device: Look what it's communicating: "The man out of old Earth's past" "Has the key to the next and the last:" "But you won't solve this riddle" "Till the end is the middle" [Buck.]
"And Terran sands disappear with a blast: '" [Dr: Huer.]
That last line sounds ominous: [Wilma.]
Whoever sent this could teleport an entire starfleet into the Earth's orbit: : : And decimate us before we had a chance to scramble a single fighter squadron: Why haven't they done it already? Hmm: [Buck.]
Why are they playing games, writing limericks? "Limericks"? Yeah, limericks: An old and honorable form ofliterature, Wilma: Hmm: It goes back even before my time: Obviously, the puzzle was specifically geared to you, Buck: "The man out of old Earth's past': : Is a clear reference to you: [Buck.]
Yeah, I know: It says I hold the key to the first and the last: Which means: : : To the life and the death of the Earth: [Dr: Huer.]
While we're using the psych-probes, we'll be able to refer to this mysterious is it limerick? Mm-hmm: I'm sure that you know, as well as I do, that there are some people who could harbor a grudge against you: This scan will help us select the most likely candidates: So just lie back and relax: Let your mind drift: That's it: Well, that's enough drifting for now: Perhaps you could concentrate on one or two of the words in the riddle: : : That might trigger some memories: [Buck.]
Well, let's see: There's the thing about the key: We used a lot of keys: : : When we rescued that girl Falina from Sinaloa: Where have you been? Never mind that: Carl Morphus just arrived: Oh, terrific: That's about as good as the news I've got: Couldn't you get anything out of that man that was following you? Yeah, I know exactly where they're keeping Falina: Well, that's good news: I also found out it's virtually impossible to get there: : : Without one of four existing keys: Oh, no: I was gonna try to lift one off Sanitation Module 07, but it doesn't make its rounds till after midnight: And if Morphus is here now, we might as well start packing: - Buck, who else has a key? - A couple of Velosi's goons: And Velosi? Naturally: Marla? You'll have to wait just a minute: I don't like to wait: And with this, I rarely have to: I thought you'd feel that way: I'm sorry to spoil your plans this evening, Mr: Velosi: Yes, I am disappointed: Until now: Kill her! - Please, don't move: - Come on! Now, stand over there with your boss: Move! Come on, move: I'll just take that key you're so proud of, Mr: Velosi: You both will die before you leave the city: You think so, huh? Okay, get over there: Come on, move! If I were you, I'd worry more about how you were going to get out of here: All right, let's go: Get down to the ship and prepare for takeoff: I'll get Falina: You got the detonator? I'm all set: I'll see you at the ship: Why, Buck Rogers: What are you and that lady up to? Later, Tangie: Looks to me like it's something very dishonest: I don't have time: If you don't help me buy my way out of this city, Security's gonna get a call from me: Next time I'm in town: You won't get away with it! I want you to close your eyes: Very soon you shall find yourself afloat in a sea of color and sounds: And then blackness, and then everything everything shall come to an end: [Alarm Blaring.]
[Alarm Continues.]
Name is Buck Rogers: He just hit the alarm: Let's get outta here: [Alarm Continues.]
[Continues Blaring.]
Morgan Velosi is a formidable opponent in his home territory, but he hardly commands the resources necessary: : : To mount a massive attack on the Earth: All right, let's look at the limerick again: That last line"And Terran sands disappear in a blast: '" All that sand, desert Sounds like Zeta Minor: And come to think of it, Zeta Minor started with a blast too: I hope you're wearing your climbing shoes because I think that elevator's out of order: Come on! [Android Guard.]
Escape is not possible: Prisoners will report to the dayroom: Escape is not possible: Prisoners will report to the dayroom: Escape is not possible: Jen, you've been in there for 10 months: He's never gonna spring you out: He's gonna leave you and the secrets of those murders buried in there forever: I don't care about you, so stop pretending you care about me: : : And who I am and why I am and just leave me alone: Sand squid! You got him: Come on: [Squeaking.]
Buck! Oh, hi: Can we talk about this? [Buck Groaning.]
- [Jen Gasps.]
- Okay, big guy, come on: [Gasps.]
Sometimes a frontal assault works best: All right, move: Get over there: You all right? I'm fine: Rescuing you is getting to be a full-time occupation: All right, all of you, we're marching out of here single file: Not quite, Colonel: Drop your weapons now! Of course, frontal assaults do have their drawbacks: [Android Roaring.]
[Screams.]
[Buck.]
Why is he after me, Wilma? What is it? - It's your bracelet: - Oh, it is, huh? No! Be my guest: According to my locator banks, the android Hugo is still at large somewhere on Zeta Minor: I suggest we proceed, Buck: We really must continue, Dr: Huer: Hmm: Well, so much for him: [Beeping.]
What's that? The sensors in my office: They were keyed to that strange object: - [Wilma.]
It's gone:! - [Twiki Chirping.]
Well, so much for the yo-yo: I'll be going now: Sorry, Twiki: I think everything's far from over: In fact, I think it's just beginning: [Beeping.]
It seems the object has served its function: I wonder what else we can expect? Let's get on with this: I got a feeling we don't have much time: How about Roderick Zale, the guy who kidnapped Hieronymus Fox of Genesia? Zale is certainly resourceful enough: : : And, quite possibly, ruthless enough: Greetings, Mr: President: My name is Your name is Roderick Zale: Your specialty is political abduction, and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb: Half the galaxy probably knows you're the one who snatched me: You're as perceptive as I was told: - How much you askin' for me? - A reasonable price of pure quadrillium: [Chuckles.]
Ain't no way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much loot, pal: I don't even think we got that much quadrillium on the whole planet: Then they'd better find it somewhere: Or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die: Aw, come on, Zale: I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week: Even if the Genesians don't pay up, you can make a fortune selling my brains to the highest bidder: So don't give me any of that Dr: Doom jive: You'd better take pretty good care of me: : : If you know what's good for you, starting right now: We're not gonna tell him where the kid is, and that's that: But, Buck, they'll kill us: [Zale.]
The woman's right, Rogers: If you do know where the president is hiding, you'd better tell us: Otherwise, you'll both die very shortly: And if we do tell you, we'll probably still die, won't we? There are many ways to die, long and short: Uh-oh: Uh Uh, hi there: I bet you're wondering what I'm doing in your parcel bin: Actually, I'm not a real person at all: I'm a doll: That's it: Uh, a preprogrammed, cybernetic doll: My name is Ken: Uh, Mr: President, are you all right? Before I answer that, whose side are you on? Yours: Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate: How did you get away from Zale? Uh, nothing to it: I did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries: Well, I guess I'm a little late: Nope, you're just in time: Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran: She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now: - Buck? - Yeah, and if we don't get back there and help 'em, they're both gonna get wasted: You know what "wasted" means? Sorry: Can't let you do that: I'm terribly sorry about this, Captain, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you: Koren to Zale: Come in, Zale: Mr: Zale! - Mr: Zale: - Maybe he slipped back under his rock: Shut up or I'll kill you right here and now: I think she might have something to say about that: That one is almost as old as you are: Old but true, Mr: Koren: Mighty nice shootin', Colonel: Thank you, Mr: President: True, Roderick Zale is a cunning and dangerous criminal, but his personality index would seem to indicate a cold-blooded pragmatist: : : Not inclined to seek revenge on such a grandiose scale: [Chirping.]
You wanna run that by me again? - I said, "Roderick Zale" - Forget it: "Till the end is the middle:" Now, what is that supposed to mean? This is like trying to work your way through a maze: It's almost byzantine: Hmm, byzantine, byzantine: Zantia! That started off with kind of a puzzle a Mayday from two women on board a space yacht: [Sighs.]
Let's take a crack at that: This is Earth starfighter 1314: I'm approaching at 50 degrees: This is the space yacht Aurora: We have you on scanner: Uh, do you have video transmission capability? [Buck.]
Sure do: How's that? Oh, fine: Couldn't be much better: You're to follow the yellow landing tracer to Docking Area 2: The slightest variation from that course will result in your destruction: Zantia Landing Control out: Thanks: Welcome to Zantia: [Chattering.]
[Auctioneer.]
Ladies, please get ready: We'll start the bidding at 400: This prime Terran male is an excellent investment: Sixteen hundred from the unseen lady on monitor four! Do I see more? Twenty-two hundred: Three thousand:! Three thousand on the monitor from bidder number four: Do I hear more? The bid is now 4,000: Do I hear five? Ten thousand:! Twelve thousand! Going once, going twice Twenty thousand! Do I hear more? Going once at 20,000: Going twice at 20,000: Sold to bidder number four for 20,000 credits:! - [Woman Screaming.]
- Come on, let's go! They're not gonna stay unconscious for long: Let's get outta here: Move! Hang on: Buck Rogers to Escort Leader, do you read? Leader to ES-1314, I've gotcha on the scanner: - Who's that? Major Norris? - Affirmative: What are you doing up here, Captain Rogers? This is Colonel Deering: Don't listen to him, Major: - Wilma? - I know what you intend to do, Buck and I can't let you do it: [Buck.]
Wilma, don't try to stop me: What you're doing will force the Earth and Ruatha to go to war: You're jeopardizing thousands and thousands of lives: - [Norris.]
Colonel Deering - There's too much at stake, Major: Open fire: Full pulsars: Wilma, listen to me: I know what I'm doing: - [Wilma.]
You're sending us into war! - [Buck.]
You know me, trust me: He's hit: I think Zantia is a dead end, Buck: [Theo.]
I tend to agree, Colonel: [Beeping.]
Our sensors have picked up another energy beam heading straight for - [Object Humming.]
- Good heavens: [Humming Continues.]
[Continues Humming.]
- Here we go again: - What is it? It looks like an hourglass: It's a device for measuring time: From the looks of this one, we only have a couple of hours until it runs out: Do you think somebody's trying to tell us something? There's not a lot of time left: Wilma, think about Corliss and Roxanne: Mm-hmm: The last time they were going to use ancient nerve gas: : : To poison our atmosphere and to destroy it: And we needed Noah Cooper's help in penetrating Necrosis asteroids: Stay close behind me and do exactly what I do: Watch for falling rocks: [Sighs.]
Enemy craft approaching: They're moving through the asteroids: Okay, start breathing again, everyone: - [Beeping.]
- Stop breathing: We got company: Tight "T" formation: Look alive, tail gunners: - You take over: - Got it: Nice shot, Big Red: It looks like they're sending up reinforcements: We'll retreat temporarily to the asteroids: [Man.]
You will surrender at once or be destroyed: Proceed to vector 9-4KV, Coordinate C: We will tractor beam you into the hangar: [Big Red.]
You hear that, Noah? - They've been captured: - I heard: - What do we do, Noah? - What can we do? We've lost them: We've lost 'em: Have you ever been in a fire, Rogers? Or should I say, have you ever been on fire? No, I can't say that I have: - Do you know what pain is, Rogers? - There are all kinds of pain: No: I'm talking about a pain that's so intense, the only way you can stop it is to have its source removed: How you're going to wish we had surrendered, Colonel Deering: All right, everybody, just keep it quiet: Steady: - [Beeping.]
- Bomb away: Wilma, get the door! You, get over there! - You missed: - We saw, Big Red: Come on back up: Now it's our turn: Hold it steady: We're almost there: Second enemy bomber approaching! We're trapped in here: Ready? Right: Hang on: Bomb away: This one's gonna hit! [Buck.]
Theo, where are Roxanne and Corliss now? According to our locator banks, they are both in the detention-rehabilitation complex on Lycaste Alba: So much for that theory: Wait a minute: What about our man with the magic hands? The slave master? Hmm? Kaleel: Mm-hmm: Let me see: That was on, um, Vistula: : : When we went to investigate the poisoning: : : Of the Earth's food supplies: [Kaleel.]
So: : : We will descend upon the Earth like meteors! Like a fire! The only ones who can stop us: : : Are those enemies among us, those who are weak and faithless! Those who do not believe these are our enemies! Get down! Don't either one of you raise even a hair: Get down: Good heavens: What was that? Be careful: [Gasps.]
[Wilma.]
Sorry, Buck: - Are you okay? - Yeah: - No thanks to our host: - The almighty Kaleel, I presume: - And you are? - Captain Buck Rogers: Let's just get rid of him: Rest assured: : : He and Colonel Deering will meet the same fate as Ryma: But first things first: Now that Earth knows of my plan, what do your people intend to do? Prepare for your attack, naturally: And with our remaining forces, we'll give you a reception you'll not soon forget: You are lying! All right now, keep your eyes on that turkey in the back: He's the one we want: We're gonna go right up the middle: You guys open a hole, I'll nail him: Okay, guards, take out these tackles: Stop them, you fools! Hey, nice double-teaming over there, whoever you are: - Gordon's the name: Thanks: - Have we met, Gordon? I don't think so, Captain: We're from different times: [Chirping.]
Eat lead, sucker: Lead? What lead? Twiki, what are you talking about? - Nice shooting, Captain Rogers: - Thanks, Major, Twiki: Gordon, where did you learn to shoot like that? I've been doing that sort of thing since before you were born, Captain: - You think so, huh? - Young man, I know so: Come on, gang: We've got some cleaning up to do downstairs: According to our locators, Kaleel escaped from the revolutionaries who captured him: : : And now wanders the Vistulan desert: : : Trying to enlist its inhabitants as followers: A harmless lunatic: Hmm: Hop out of there a second: I've got an idea: It's all yours: [Sighs.]
Remember the Legion of Death? In order to infiltrate them, I had to take on the identity of an assassin Rafael Argus: Rafael Argus? Three months ago you killed a man named Gleeson: Let me guess: Uh, he was your, uh - Brother: - I knew it'd be something like that: To destroy a city that large, you'd need an earthquake or a tidal wave: Or an antimatter explosion: - You're joking, of course: - Far from it: New Chicago receives its power from a contra-terrene generating plant: : : Located in the wasteland outside the city: And if someone were to sabotage that reactor, allowing the matter and antimatter: : : To mix uncontrollably And everything for 200 square kilometers: : : Would be atomized instantly: [Laughs.]
Very good, Kellogg: [Chuckling.]
Come on: Varek, go in there and dispose of him: They'll think that was you: Why'd you do that? This is why: This is who I am: [Groans.]
The thing about Kellogg is, he wouldn't waste time with these riddles: He'd want me to know up front that it was him: : : And how he was going to kill me and how much it would hurt: So we're back where we started: Yeah, except: : : The hourglass is almost empty: All right, it's your turn now, Twiki: Let's see if your memory bank can help us any: Now, hold still: [Chirping.]
You're tickling me: I'm not tickling you: Hold still: You are: Twiki, you're supposed to be remembering what happened on the Lyran Queen: All right: [Over P: A:.]
This is your captain speaking: Now that all our passengers are aboard, we're accelerating to light speed: : : For a slow, leisurely cruise to Stargate 1: After leaving the star gate, we'll enter the Vega system: : : Where we'll make our first stop on Sutter's World, Yes: How do you do? A planet renowned for its fair climate, colorful indigents and remarkable hospitality: [Chirping.]
Wilma's looking real foxy: [Chirping.]
Something from the bar, sir? [Chirping.]
Hold the phone: [Chirping.]
[Chirping.]
You'll have to excuse me for staring: I've never met a 500-year-old man before: Oh, that's all right: I've never met a genetically perfect woman before either: Mmm: Think of the permutations: [Chuckling.]
[Continues Chuckling.]
[Sighs.]
Stupid, weak, sniveling little creature: How do you put up with her? I like part of her: My part, you mean? [Theo.]
What you are suggesting, Buck, is that Alison Michaels is a trans-mute a split personality with the genetic ability to transform itself: : : In times of stress, into one of two or more separate entities: All we have is a theory: We can't act without evidence: - Then what we have to do is capture her as Sabrina: - Oh: [Disco.]
[Laughing, Chattering.]
[Chirping.]
What a good dancer you are, Twiki: Buck taught me all I know: They call this one the bump: [Chirping.]
Uh-oh: I've never seen a dance like that before, Twiki: [Continues.]
[Sighs.]
Well, that's all we can do for now: The laser will draw power from the ship very slowly: : : So that the monitors will not detect: When it peaks, the laser will be in full effect, and its blade will start dissecting her quite automatically: [Chirping.]
Hi, guys: What's the matter, Twiki? It's only 0300 hours: I'm bushed: [Theo.]
Nowjust a minute, Twiki: If you think you're going to retire for the evening: : : Without hearing from me, you're quite incorrect: Your behavior, ever since you set foot on this ship, has been abominable: Twiki? Twiki? Twiki? Twiki:! Well, we've only got one candidate left: But all this hardly seems to be her style: What do you mean not her style? She's ruthless, arrogant and power hungry: Yeah, but aside from all that, what's wrong with her? [Wilma.]
Anything about it look familiar, Buck? Negative: I've never seen anything like it: Did you hear that, Dr: Huer? [Dr: Huer.]
Wherever it came from, it is now sustaining a position directly over New Chicago: We can only assume it's some kind of weapon, so destroy it, now:! Yes, sir: Our pulsars have no effect! Activate Omega defense program immediately! [Wilma.]
It's glowing:! Dr: Huer, it's releasing a beam of energy! [Disco.]
[Continues.]
Very shortly, I will succeed my father to the throne of Draconia: And according to our laws, within a year of doing so, I must wed the most physically and genetically sound human male available: : : Or lose my throne to a successor: Well, I have found just such a man: : : Right here on Earth: And unless you turn him over to me for the wedding ceremony, our pyramid weapon will destroy the Earth: : : City by city by city: That man, of course, is Captain Buck Rogers: [Sighs.]
Tribal courtship rituals can be fascinating: Tell me, just out of curiosity, what happens in phases two and three? In the second phase, you prove your worthiness for me: : : By competing in the arena with Tigerman: Hmm: Of course, if you win tomorrow, the third phase will take place at noon: The great event itself the wedding ceremony: [Grunting.]
[Groans.]
[Shouts.]
[Growling.]
[Continues Growling.]
[Groans.]
[Panting.]
You will bejoined with Princess Ardala forever: He's destroying the weapon: Do something! - All right, Doc, I'm getting a power feedback now: - Buck, get out of there: Of course, I hate to admit this, but even Princess Ardala: : : Wouldn't slaughter innocent people without a reason: If this were all her doing, I think we [Beeping.]
- [Beeping Continues.]
- Good Lord! - Is something else gonna materialize? - Yes: Whoever's responsible uses a directional beam: : : To lock in coordinates for materialization: This precedes the teleport beam by several minutes: Now, according to our sensors, the next object is due to materialize: : : In your apartment, Buck: [Chirping.]
It's the killer yo-yo: [Buck.]
No, I don't think so, Twiki: What in the galaxy Hamburgers, french fries, milk shakes and champagne: No, it can't be: [Party Horns Blowing, Laughing, Chattering.]
- Dr: Huer, what day is today? - Uh, it's Deckel 31, isn't it? - Yeah: - Deckel: December: December 31: It's New Year's Eve! And there's only one other person in the galaxy who'd know what that means: Right on, Buck: I knew you'd figure it out: - Hieronymus: - Happy New Year, guys: Hey, what do you think of my new matter transmitter? I wanted to give it a test over long distances, so I thought I'd send you a little New Year's present: - And a riddle: - It beats crossword puzzles: - Cross what? - Forget it, Doc: It'd take hours to explain: Hieronymus, your matter transmitter's a great idea, but it's still got a few bugs: Oh, yeah: It creates one heck of a magnetic field, doesn't it? Hope it didn't bollix up any of your alarm systems: Oh, no: The whole planet's on general alert, that's all: Oops: Back to the drawing board: That entire riddle was just about New Year's Eve, wasn't it? Right: The first line was about you "The man out of old Earth's past:" "Has the key to the next and the last"? Sure: Buck would know about an hourglass, which was going to be the next thing that I sent you, after the last thing, which was the riddle a real, live [Chirping.]
Tricky little devil, ain't ya? - [Chuckles.]
- "But you won't solve this riddle till the end is the middle: '" Ah, of course: The end of the old year, the middle of the night: - Midnight: - And the Terran sands disappearing Is the hourglass you sent us: When the sands disappear, they disappear with a A blast: Meaning a party: And what's a party without milk shakes and bubbly: : : And fries and Rigellian lizard burgers? "Lizard burgers:" - [Chuckles.]
- Hit it, maestro! [Disco.]
["Auld Lang Syne'".]
I wish I knew how he did that: I gotta run, gang: These transgalatic phone calls add up: Have yourselves a happy one: : : And wait till you see my riddle next year! - Bye: - Next year? There's plenty of time to worry about that later: For now, though, how about some good, old-fashioned Genesian bubbly? Was 2490 a good year? How could it be? You weren't even around: [Laughing.]
[Pops.]
Buck's experiences must be relived using mind probes: : : In an attempt to solve the mysterious riddle: : : That promises imminent doom to the Earth: Eat lead, sucker: The only ones who can stop us are our enemies! [Man Narrating.]
The year is 1987, and NASA launches the last of America's deep space probes: In a freak mishap, Ranger 3 and its pilot, Captain William "Buck'"Rogers, are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life-support systems: : : And returns Buck Rogers to Earth: : : [Alarm Beeping.]
Dr: Huer, what's going on? The entire complex is under alert: Yes, I know: [Beeping Continues.]
Ten minutes ago, our orbital defense system: : : Registered the presence of hundreds of alien objects in Earth's orbit: Our scanners say that they're out there: But our fighter squadrons have made no visual contact: Could something be jamming their sensors? Perhaps: I don't know: But it's highly unlikely: [Mysterious Humming.]
Doctor, my sensors detect: : : A tightly focused energy beam penetrating our Oh, dear: [Humming.]
[Humming Continues.]
[Chirping.]
Doesn't anybody bother to knock anymore? Dr: Theopolis, what is it? Unknown, Doctor: My sensors are unable to penetrate its exterior: However, in light of its unusual materialization, I would suggest securing the entire Directorate Complex immediately: [Chirping.]
Good idea: I'll secure the basement: - No, Twiki: - Aw, rats: It's impossible! This object does not register on my sensor: This may sound crazy, but have you considered touching that thing? - Touching it? - [Buck.]
Yeah, it may not be a weapon at all: Maybe it's some kind of communication device, touch-activated: - That could be awfully risky, Buck: - Would you rather leave it here, turn it into a plant stand? After all, Doc, your sensors aren't doing any good: What have you got to lose? [Theo.]
Nothing, really: Whoever sent it here has obviously developed: : : A highly sophisticated method of matter transmission: Anyone capable of that, could have killed us all long ago: I think Buck's suggestion is a good one: Well, here goes: Wait, Buck: Be careful, please: Yeah, well, what do I know? [Chirping.]
Killed by a yo-yo: What a way to go: You're right, Buck: It is a communicating device: Look what it's communicating: "The man out of old Earth's past" "Has the key to the next and the last:" "But you won't solve this riddle" "Till the end is the middle" [Buck.]
"And Terran sands disappear with a blast: '" [Dr: Huer.]
That last line sounds ominous: [Wilma.]
Whoever sent this could teleport an entire starfleet into the Earth's orbit: : : And decimate us before we had a chance to scramble a single fighter squadron: Why haven't they done it already? Hmm: [Buck.]
Why are they playing games, writing limericks? "Limericks"? Yeah, limericks: An old and honorable form ofliterature, Wilma: Hmm: It goes back even before my time: Obviously, the puzzle was specifically geared to you, Buck: "The man out of old Earth's past': : Is a clear reference to you: [Buck.]
Yeah, I know: It says I hold the key to the first and the last: Which means: : : To the life and the death of the Earth: [Dr: Huer.]
While we're using the psych-probes, we'll be able to refer to this mysterious is it limerick? Mm-hmm: I'm sure that you know, as well as I do, that there are some people who could harbor a grudge against you: This scan will help us select the most likely candidates: So just lie back and relax: Let your mind drift: That's it: Well, that's enough drifting for now: Perhaps you could concentrate on one or two of the words in the riddle: : : That might trigger some memories: [Buck.]
Well, let's see: There's the thing about the key: We used a lot of keys: : : When we rescued that girl Falina from Sinaloa: Where have you been? Never mind that: Carl Morphus just arrived: Oh, terrific: That's about as good as the news I've got: Couldn't you get anything out of that man that was following you? Yeah, I know exactly where they're keeping Falina: Well, that's good news: I also found out it's virtually impossible to get there: : : Without one of four existing keys: Oh, no: I was gonna try to lift one off Sanitation Module 07, but it doesn't make its rounds till after midnight: And if Morphus is here now, we might as well start packing: - Buck, who else has a key? - A couple of Velosi's goons: And Velosi? Naturally: Marla? You'll have to wait just a minute: I don't like to wait: And with this, I rarely have to: I thought you'd feel that way: I'm sorry to spoil your plans this evening, Mr: Velosi: Yes, I am disappointed: Until now: Kill her! - Please, don't move: - Come on! Now, stand over there with your boss: Move! Come on, move: I'll just take that key you're so proud of, Mr: Velosi: You both will die before you leave the city: You think so, huh? Okay, get over there: Come on, move! If I were you, I'd worry more about how you were going to get out of here: All right, let's go: Get down to the ship and prepare for takeoff: I'll get Falina: You got the detonator? I'm all set: I'll see you at the ship: Why, Buck Rogers: What are you and that lady up to? Later, Tangie: Looks to me like it's something very dishonest: I don't have time: If you don't help me buy my way out of this city, Security's gonna get a call from me: Next time I'm in town: You won't get away with it! I want you to close your eyes: Very soon you shall find yourself afloat in a sea of color and sounds: And then blackness, and then everything everything shall come to an end: [Alarm Blaring.]
[Alarm Continues.]
Name is Buck Rogers: He just hit the alarm: Let's get outta here: [Alarm Continues.]
[Continues Blaring.]
Morgan Velosi is a formidable opponent in his home territory, but he hardly commands the resources necessary: : : To mount a massive attack on the Earth: All right, let's look at the limerick again: That last line"And Terran sands disappear in a blast: '" All that sand, desert Sounds like Zeta Minor: And come to think of it, Zeta Minor started with a blast too: I hope you're wearing your climbing shoes because I think that elevator's out of order: Come on! [Android Guard.]
Escape is not possible: Prisoners will report to the dayroom: Escape is not possible: Prisoners will report to the dayroom: Escape is not possible: Jen, you've been in there for 10 months: He's never gonna spring you out: He's gonna leave you and the secrets of those murders buried in there forever: I don't care about you, so stop pretending you care about me: : : And who I am and why I am and just leave me alone: Sand squid! You got him: Come on: [Squeaking.]
Buck! Oh, hi: Can we talk about this? [Buck Groaning.]
- [Jen Gasps.]
- Okay, big guy, come on: [Gasps.]
Sometimes a frontal assault works best: All right, move: Get over there: You all right? I'm fine: Rescuing you is getting to be a full-time occupation: All right, all of you, we're marching out of here single file: Not quite, Colonel: Drop your weapons now! Of course, frontal assaults do have their drawbacks: [Android Roaring.]
[Screams.]
[Buck.]
Why is he after me, Wilma? What is it? - It's your bracelet: - Oh, it is, huh? No! Be my guest: According to my locator banks, the android Hugo is still at large somewhere on Zeta Minor: I suggest we proceed, Buck: We really must continue, Dr: Huer: Hmm: Well, so much for him: [Beeping.]
What's that? The sensors in my office: They were keyed to that strange object: - [Wilma.]
It's gone:! - [Twiki Chirping.]
Well, so much for the yo-yo: I'll be going now: Sorry, Twiki: I think everything's far from over: In fact, I think it's just beginning: [Beeping.]
It seems the object has served its function: I wonder what else we can expect? Let's get on with this: I got a feeling we don't have much time: How about Roderick Zale, the guy who kidnapped Hieronymus Fox of Genesia? Zale is certainly resourceful enough: : : And, quite possibly, ruthless enough: Greetings, Mr: President: My name is Your name is Roderick Zale: Your specialty is political abduction, and your modus operandi sticks out like a sore thumb: Half the galaxy probably knows you're the one who snatched me: You're as perceptive as I was told: - How much you askin' for me? - A reasonable price of pure quadrillium: [Chuckles.]
Ain't no way the Genesians are gonna cough up that much loot, pal: I don't even think we got that much quadrillium on the whole planet: Then they'd better find it somewhere: Or within a week, their technological miracle worker will die: Aw, come on, Zale: I'm worth more to you alive than dead any day of the week: Even if the Genesians don't pay up, you can make a fortune selling my brains to the highest bidder: So don't give me any of that Dr: Doom jive: You'd better take pretty good care of me: : : If you know what's good for you, starting right now: We're not gonna tell him where the kid is, and that's that: But, Buck, they'll kill us: [Zale.]
The woman's right, Rogers: If you do know where the president is hiding, you'd better tell us: Otherwise, you'll both die very shortly: And if we do tell you, we'll probably still die, won't we? There are many ways to die, long and short: Uh-oh: Uh Uh, hi there: I bet you're wondering what I'm doing in your parcel bin: Actually, I'm not a real person at all: I'm a doll: That's it: Uh, a preprogrammed, cybernetic doll: My name is Ken: Uh, Mr: President, are you all right? Before I answer that, whose side are you on? Yours: Colonel Deering from the Earth Defense Directorate: How did you get away from Zale? Uh, nothing to it: I did a quick impersonation of a sack of groceries: Well, I guess I'm a little late: Nope, you're just in time: Now, my bodyguard, Dia Cyrton, is here on Aldebaran: She and somebody named Buck Rogers are on their way to Zale's place right now: - Buck? - Yeah, and if we don't get back there and help 'em, they're both gonna get wasted: You know what "wasted" means? Sorry: Can't let you do that: I'm terribly sorry about this, Captain, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you: Koren to Zale: Come in, Zale: Mr: Zale! - Mr: Zale: - Maybe he slipped back under his rock: Shut up or I'll kill you right here and now: I think she might have something to say about that: That one is almost as old as you are: Old but true, Mr: Koren: Mighty nice shootin', Colonel: Thank you, Mr: President: True, Roderick Zale is a cunning and dangerous criminal, but his personality index would seem to indicate a cold-blooded pragmatist: : : Not inclined to seek revenge on such a grandiose scale: [Chirping.]
You wanna run that by me again? - I said, "Roderick Zale" - Forget it: "Till the end is the middle:" Now, what is that supposed to mean? This is like trying to work your way through a maze: It's almost byzantine: Hmm, byzantine, byzantine: Zantia! That started off with kind of a puzzle a Mayday from two women on board a space yacht: [Sighs.]
Let's take a crack at that: This is Earth starfighter 1314: I'm approaching at 50 degrees: This is the space yacht Aurora: We have you on scanner: Uh, do you have video transmission capability? [Buck.]
Sure do: How's that? Oh, fine: Couldn't be much better: You're to follow the yellow landing tracer to Docking Area 2: The slightest variation from that course will result in your destruction: Zantia Landing Control out: Thanks: Welcome to Zantia: [Chattering.]
[Auctioneer.]
Ladies, please get ready: We'll start the bidding at 400: This prime Terran male is an excellent investment: Sixteen hundred from the unseen lady on monitor four! Do I see more? Twenty-two hundred: Three thousand:! Three thousand on the monitor from bidder number four: Do I hear more? The bid is now 4,000: Do I hear five? Ten thousand:! Twelve thousand! Going once, going twice Twenty thousand! Do I hear more? Going once at 20,000: Going twice at 20,000: Sold to bidder number four for 20,000 credits:! - [Woman Screaming.]
- Come on, let's go! They're not gonna stay unconscious for long: Let's get outta here: Move! Hang on: Buck Rogers to Escort Leader, do you read? Leader to ES-1314, I've gotcha on the scanner: - Who's that? Major Norris? - Affirmative: What are you doing up here, Captain Rogers? This is Colonel Deering: Don't listen to him, Major: - Wilma? - I know what you intend to do, Buck and I can't let you do it: [Buck.]
Wilma, don't try to stop me: What you're doing will force the Earth and Ruatha to go to war: You're jeopardizing thousands and thousands of lives: - [Norris.]
Colonel Deering - There's too much at stake, Major: Open fire: Full pulsars: Wilma, listen to me: I know what I'm doing: - [Wilma.]
You're sending us into war! - [Buck.]
You know me, trust me: He's hit: I think Zantia is a dead end, Buck: [Theo.]
I tend to agree, Colonel: [Beeping.]
Our sensors have picked up another energy beam heading straight for - [Object Humming.]
- Good heavens: [Humming Continues.]
[Continues Humming.]
- Here we go again: - What is it? It looks like an hourglass: It's a device for measuring time: From the looks of this one, we only have a couple of hours until it runs out: Do you think somebody's trying to tell us something? There's not a lot of time left: Wilma, think about Corliss and Roxanne: Mm-hmm: The last time they were going to use ancient nerve gas: : : To poison our atmosphere and to destroy it: And we needed Noah Cooper's help in penetrating Necrosis asteroids: Stay close behind me and do exactly what I do: Watch for falling rocks: [Sighs.]
Enemy craft approaching: They're moving through the asteroids: Okay, start breathing again, everyone: - [Beeping.]
- Stop breathing: We got company: Tight "T" formation: Look alive, tail gunners: - You take over: - Got it: Nice shot, Big Red: It looks like they're sending up reinforcements: We'll retreat temporarily to the asteroids: [Man.]
You will surrender at once or be destroyed: Proceed to vector 9-4KV, Coordinate C: We will tractor beam you into the hangar: [Big Red.]
You hear that, Noah? - They've been captured: - I heard: - What do we do, Noah? - What can we do? We've lost them: We've lost 'em: Have you ever been in a fire, Rogers? Or should I say, have you ever been on fire? No, I can't say that I have: - Do you know what pain is, Rogers? - There are all kinds of pain: No: I'm talking about a pain that's so intense, the only way you can stop it is to have its source removed: How you're going to wish we had surrendered, Colonel Deering: All right, everybody, just keep it quiet: Steady: - [Beeping.]
- Bomb away: Wilma, get the door! You, get over there! - You missed: - We saw, Big Red: Come on back up: Now it's our turn: Hold it steady: We're almost there: Second enemy bomber approaching! We're trapped in here: Ready? Right: Hang on: Bomb away: This one's gonna hit! [Buck.]
Theo, where are Roxanne and Corliss now? According to our locator banks, they are both in the detention-rehabilitation complex on Lycaste Alba: So much for that theory: Wait a minute: What about our man with the magic hands? The slave master? Hmm? Kaleel: Mm-hmm: Let me see: That was on, um, Vistula: : : When we went to investigate the poisoning: : : Of the Earth's food supplies: [Kaleel.]
So: : : We will descend upon the Earth like meteors! Like a fire! The only ones who can stop us: : : Are those enemies among us, those who are weak and faithless! Those who do not believe these are our enemies! Get down! Don't either one of you raise even a hair: Get down: Good heavens: What was that? Be careful: [Gasps.]
[Wilma.]
Sorry, Buck: - Are you okay? - Yeah: - No thanks to our host: - The almighty Kaleel, I presume: - And you are? - Captain Buck Rogers: Let's just get rid of him: Rest assured: : : He and Colonel Deering will meet the same fate as Ryma: But first things first: Now that Earth knows of my plan, what do your people intend to do? Prepare for your attack, naturally: And with our remaining forces, we'll give you a reception you'll not soon forget: You are lying! All right now, keep your eyes on that turkey in the back: He's the one we want: We're gonna go right up the middle: You guys open a hole, I'll nail him: Okay, guards, take out these tackles: Stop them, you fools! Hey, nice double-teaming over there, whoever you are: - Gordon's the name: Thanks: - Have we met, Gordon? I don't think so, Captain: We're from different times: [Chirping.]
Eat lead, sucker: Lead? What lead? Twiki, what are you talking about? - Nice shooting, Captain Rogers: - Thanks, Major, Twiki: Gordon, where did you learn to shoot like that? I've been doing that sort of thing since before you were born, Captain: - You think so, huh? - Young man, I know so: Come on, gang: We've got some cleaning up to do downstairs: According to our locators, Kaleel escaped from the revolutionaries who captured him: : : And now wanders the Vistulan desert: : : Trying to enlist its inhabitants as followers: A harmless lunatic: Hmm: Hop out of there a second: I've got an idea: It's all yours: [Sighs.]
Remember the Legion of Death? In order to infiltrate them, I had to take on the identity of an assassin Rafael Argus: Rafael Argus? Three months ago you killed a man named Gleeson: Let me guess: Uh, he was your, uh - Brother: - I knew it'd be something like that: To destroy a city that large, you'd need an earthquake or a tidal wave: Or an antimatter explosion: - You're joking, of course: - Far from it: New Chicago receives its power from a contra-terrene generating plant: : : Located in the wasteland outside the city: And if someone were to sabotage that reactor, allowing the matter and antimatter: : : To mix uncontrollably And everything for 200 square kilometers: : : Would be atomized instantly: [Laughs.]
Very good, Kellogg: [Chuckling.]
Come on: Varek, go in there and dispose of him: They'll think that was you: Why'd you do that? This is why: This is who I am: [Groans.]
The thing about Kellogg is, he wouldn't waste time with these riddles: He'd want me to know up front that it was him: : : And how he was going to kill me and how much it would hurt: So we're back where we started: Yeah, except: : : The hourglass is almost empty: All right, it's your turn now, Twiki: Let's see if your memory bank can help us any: Now, hold still: [Chirping.]
You're tickling me: I'm not tickling you: Hold still: You are: Twiki, you're supposed to be remembering what happened on the Lyran Queen: All right: [Over P: A:.]
This is your captain speaking: Now that all our passengers are aboard, we're accelerating to light speed: : : For a slow, leisurely cruise to Stargate 1: After leaving the star gate, we'll enter the Vega system: : : Where we'll make our first stop on Sutter's World, Yes: How do you do? A planet renowned for its fair climate, colorful indigents and remarkable hospitality: [Chirping.]
Wilma's looking real foxy: [Chirping.]
Something from the bar, sir? [Chirping.]
Hold the phone: [Chirping.]
[Chirping.]
You'll have to excuse me for staring: I've never met a 500-year-old man before: Oh, that's all right: I've never met a genetically perfect woman before either: Mmm: Think of the permutations: [Chuckling.]
[Continues Chuckling.]
[Sighs.]
Stupid, weak, sniveling little creature: How do you put up with her? I like part of her: My part, you mean? [Theo.]
What you are suggesting, Buck, is that Alison Michaels is a trans-mute a split personality with the genetic ability to transform itself: : : In times of stress, into one of two or more separate entities: All we have is a theory: We can't act without evidence: - Then what we have to do is capture her as Sabrina: - Oh: [Disco.]
[Laughing, Chattering.]
[Chirping.]
What a good dancer you are, Twiki: Buck taught me all I know: They call this one the bump: [Chirping.]
Uh-oh: I've never seen a dance like that before, Twiki: [Continues.]
[Sighs.]
Well, that's all we can do for now: The laser will draw power from the ship very slowly: : : So that the monitors will not detect: When it peaks, the laser will be in full effect, and its blade will start dissecting her quite automatically: [Chirping.]
Hi, guys: What's the matter, Twiki? It's only 0300 hours: I'm bushed: [Theo.]
Nowjust a minute, Twiki: If you think you're going to retire for the evening: : : Without hearing from me, you're quite incorrect: Your behavior, ever since you set foot on this ship, has been abominable: Twiki? Twiki? Twiki? Twiki:! Well, we've only got one candidate left: But all this hardly seems to be her style: What do you mean not her style? She's ruthless, arrogant and power hungry: Yeah, but aside from all that, what's wrong with her? [Wilma.]
Anything about it look familiar, Buck? Negative: I've never seen anything like it: Did you hear that, Dr: Huer? [Dr: Huer.]
Wherever it came from, it is now sustaining a position directly over New Chicago: We can only assume it's some kind of weapon, so destroy it, now:! Yes, sir: Our pulsars have no effect! Activate Omega defense program immediately! [Wilma.]
It's glowing:! Dr: Huer, it's releasing a beam of energy! [Disco.]
[Continues.]
Very shortly, I will succeed my father to the throne of Draconia: And according to our laws, within a year of doing so, I must wed the most physically and genetically sound human male available: : : Or lose my throne to a successor: Well, I have found just such a man: : : Right here on Earth: And unless you turn him over to me for the wedding ceremony, our pyramid weapon will destroy the Earth: : : City by city by city: That man, of course, is Captain Buck Rogers: [Sighs.]
Tribal courtship rituals can be fascinating: Tell me, just out of curiosity, what happens in phases two and three? In the second phase, you prove your worthiness for me: : : By competing in the arena with Tigerman: Hmm: Of course, if you win tomorrow, the third phase will take place at noon: The great event itself the wedding ceremony: [Grunting.]
[Groans.]
[Shouts.]
[Growling.]
[Continues Growling.]
[Groans.]
[Panting.]
You will bejoined with Princess Ardala forever: He's destroying the weapon: Do something! - All right, Doc, I'm getting a power feedback now: - Buck, get out of there: Of course, I hate to admit this, but even Princess Ardala: : : Wouldn't slaughter innocent people without a reason: If this were all her doing, I think we [Beeping.]
- [Beeping Continues.]
- Good Lord! - Is something else gonna materialize? - Yes: Whoever's responsible uses a directional beam: : : To lock in coordinates for materialization: This precedes the teleport beam by several minutes: Now, according to our sensors, the next object is due to materialize: : : In your apartment, Buck: [Chirping.]
It's the killer yo-yo: [Buck.]
No, I don't think so, Twiki: What in the galaxy Hamburgers, french fries, milk shakes and champagne: No, it can't be: [Party Horns Blowing, Laughing, Chattering.]
- Dr: Huer, what day is today? - Uh, it's Deckel 31, isn't it? - Yeah: - Deckel: December: December 31: It's New Year's Eve! And there's only one other person in the galaxy who'd know what that means: Right on, Buck: I knew you'd figure it out: - Hieronymus: - Happy New Year, guys: Hey, what do you think of my new matter transmitter? I wanted to give it a test over long distances, so I thought I'd send you a little New Year's present: - And a riddle: - It beats crossword puzzles: - Cross what? - Forget it, Doc: It'd take hours to explain: Hieronymus, your matter transmitter's a great idea, but it's still got a few bugs: Oh, yeah: It creates one heck of a magnetic field, doesn't it? Hope it didn't bollix up any of your alarm systems: Oh, no: The whole planet's on general alert, that's all: Oops: Back to the drawing board: That entire riddle was just about New Year's Eve, wasn't it? Right: The first line was about you "The man out of old Earth's past:" "Has the key to the next and the last"? Sure: Buck would know about an hourglass, which was going to be the next thing that I sent you, after the last thing, which was the riddle a real, live [Chirping.]
Tricky little devil, ain't ya? - [Chuckles.]
- "But you won't solve this riddle till the end is the middle: '" Ah, of course: The end of the old year, the middle of the night: - Midnight: - And the Terran sands disappearing Is the hourglass you sent us: When the sands disappear, they disappear with a A blast: Meaning a party: And what's a party without milk shakes and bubbly: : : And fries and Rigellian lizard burgers? "Lizard burgers:" - [Chuckles.]
- Hit it, maestro! [Disco.]
["Auld Lang Syne'".]
I wish I knew how he did that: I gotta run, gang: These transgalatic phone calls add up: Have yourselves a happy one: : : And wait till you see my riddle next year! - Bye: - Next year? There's plenty of time to worry about that later: For now, though, how about some good, old-fashioned Genesian bubbly? Was 2490 a good year? How could it be? You weren't even around: [Laughing.]
[Pops.]