CHiPs (1977) s01e16 Episode Script

Vintage '54

I hate to see this long weekend coming up.
It's always such a hassle.
Yeah.
Everybody rushing to get out of town for one day.
You'd think people would wanna stay home and relax.
If we get through today and tomorrow, I'm gonna sleep on my day off.
What are you gonna do? I don't know.
I think maybe I'll go out of town for a day.
Sounds like fun.
Oh, they're cute.
"Oh, they're cute.
" Mother, make her stop.
Don't involve me, kids.
I'm trying to think of how to break the news to your father.
Face it, Mary, they are cute.
Slush.
What are you doing, huh? Oh, hey.
Come on, guys, here they come.
Come on.
Hey.
- Hi, girls.
- Hi.
I haven't seen you.
How are you? - Hi, Mrs.
Bassett.
- Hi, Richie.
Hi, Larry.
Hi, Jimmy.
Hi, Max.
Richie, honey, could you hold the baby? Mom can't go with us and she doesn't know how to tell you.
- What? - Ellen wants to transfer to a boarding school.
- Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom.
- Later.
- You're not her brother.
- No.
Richie, when you put the baby down When you put the baby down, get everyone into the wagon.
No, Jason.
Children, we have to unload the car.
Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom.
- Come here, David.
Oh, boy.
- Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mother, Ellen told him you're not going.
Oh, darling, the agency called just after you left.
Mr.
Prosser's flying in from New York.
I have to spend the afternoon with him.
What am I gonna do? I'll take the baby to Grandma and come up tomorrow.
- Transfer everything to the wagon.
- Hurry.
I have to go to the airport.
You're in a hurry.
I'll take the baby.
Honey, it's practically on my way, I'll take the baby.
Mom, do we take your sleeping bag? Come on, guys, give me a hand.
We'll never get to the lake now.
Take this one.
Bye, Mom.
- Bye-bye.
- When my family goes to the lake we don't have the car so crowded.
We wouldn't have invited you and Larry if we'd known this would happen.
And then you'd have missed the fun.
Lock all doors.
Batten all hatches.
All ashore that's going ashore.
We're off to sea in a cuspidor.
Hey, Danny.
Isn't that a '58 v ette? If it is, we've got a buyer waiting for it.
Yeah, '58.
What's that guy think, he's at Le Mans? It could be a deuce.
Let's go.
Back off.
Back off.
The cops are after him.
At least they got him before he ruined the merchandise.
Take the next off-ramp and circle back.
See what happens after the cops turn him loose.
There's a trucker with a problem on the roadside park ahead.
Ten-wheeler? This is the van.
I found a couple of bears and clued them in.
- They should be there in a minute.
- Okay, this is 10-4, good buddy.
Thank you.
Go happy.
Good morning.
What's the problem? Problem? Come on, I'll show you a problem.
How's that for a problem? I'll call a unit.
I didn't wanna touch a thing until somebody got here.
Got out of the rig, heard her bawling and that's just the way I found her.
This world is sick.
You think this world ain't sick? - Did you find a note or anything? - I told you, I never touched anything.
Hey, watch it.
You'll get her scared.
You'll make it worse.
Come on, poopsie.
Daddy Bruno's gonna get you.
Yes, you're gonna be fine.
- Yes, don't cry, you're gonna be fine.
- Excuse me, sir.
Sir, excuse me.
Would you leave him alone a minute so we can talk? You got kids? You got kids? I got kids.
Four girls.
She's a girl.
Yeah, Jon.
Pink is for girls.
Be careful, you hear.
Come here, you sweet little princess.
Hey.
Take it easy, will you? Come on, princess, let's take a little walk.
He's got a way with women.
Listen, when you arrived, was anyone here? Nope.
I stopped to get a drink and use the bathroom.
I found the kid and got on the CB.
Okay.
You know, you're the foxiest little princess.
Yeah.
You've got the wildest eyes, did you know that? You know that? Yeah.
What's a nice kid like you doing in a dump like this anyway? Let me take you away from all this.
I'll take you to romantic places like Puerto Rico Paris, Rome Taj Mahal, Lion Country Safari.
Huh, you wanna go? Want to go? You stick with me and I'll have you in diamonds, huh? - Hey, Ponch.
- Hey, look at this little heartbreaker, huh? Female sorcery written all over that face.
Yeah, she sure isn't underfed, huh? Yeah, well dressed, well cared for too.
What's wrong? You know, she isn't too heavy, is she? Oh, no, light as a feather.
Look at her eyes on her.
Yeah.
Oh, I got the statement from Mr.
Klegg.
Good.
I put the call in for the unit.
- It'll be here any minute.
- Great, great, yeah.
Listen, you know, I'll carry her a while if you're getting tired, okay? I'm not getting tired.
You've been carrying her for a long time.
What's the matter, Jon? You getting jealous? Who, me? No.
Look at my baby, here, see? She likes us both, obviously.
That's my baby girl, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Have any trouble? - No, piece of cake.
Okay.
I guess that does it.
Except for the reports from Baker and Poncherello.
Well, what's going on in here, Webb? Is this the little lady you apprehended? Well, actually, Baker and Poncherello apprehended her.
I just went out and brought her in.
How come you didn't take her straight to Juvenile? This was quicker.
I was in the neighborhood.
Sergeant Getraer, Officer Gilbert, County Juvenile.
How do you do? She's a cutie-pie.
We got a name on her? Poncherello's been calling her Princess, so we've been using that.
Hello there, little Princess.
Sorry.
- Here's the forms.
They're all signed.
- Watch it, don't frighten her.
What's the matter, Princess? You tired of these strangers? Baker, get Now, don't frighten her.
It's okay, sarge, she likes me.
Actually I'm better with older kids.
Honey, don't you trust these dudes too far.
See you heroes later.
- Lf you don't mind - This is wrapped up now? The county takes over from now, right? - Right.
- Right.
And you guys are back on patrol, right? - Right.
- Right, yeah.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Where's she gonna wind up now? Foster home for a while.
Is it possible? Like, if somebody knew a real nice foster couple that have taken in kids in the past and are terrific with babies Wait a minute.
Who are they? Virginia and Al Prideman.
They're neighbors of mine.
What do you say? It's possible if they're on the list.
You recommending them? - We don't wanna get involved.
- We're recommending them.
In fact, I've already called and she's agreed.
That's good enough for me.
I think we can work it out.
Hi.
Hi there.
Nice.
Nice baby.
She'll get great care, Jon.
The Pridemans are the best.
Super people.
She'll get all kinds of good old-fashioned love.
She really got to you, huh, pal? The Princess? Are you kidding? No way.
She's a cute little kid.
But you gotta know how to let go, Jon, you know.
Cut the ties that bind.
Let the fledgling leave the nest and fly free.
Hey, look, skydivers.
Now, that's something I've always wanted to try.
Looks like he's in trouble.
He's got a reserve chute.
That's what you call lucky.
He's still in trouble.
He's too close to the freeway.
Correction, he's on the freeway.
Okay, you clear traffic and call it in.
I'll go up there.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 4.
Requesting a 11-41 and additional units for an 11-84, eastbound 10, at East L.
A.
Interchange.
She's gotta be hurt.
She hit this rail like a ton of bricks.
- Did you see it happen? - Yeah.
She screamed.
- And then she must have passed out.
- Okay, give me your belt.
Your belt.
Will you hold this, please? Loop it through mine.
You can hold me with it.
- You're not going over there, are you? - Do me a favor and hold onto my legs.
- Okay.
Hold onto my feet.
- Got it.
All right.
Yeah, I'll try to take some weight off this signpost.
Man, if that bar lets go, her weight will break your back.
Jon.
There's a hook and ladder on the way.
Can you hold on? Yeah, not for long.
If the signpost goes, it's all over.
Get in the cars, please, and pull them forward.
Get in your car, please.
I wanna clear this lane for emergency vehicles.
So let's Come on, get in your car, please.
Pull forward.
Move it forward, please.
Sir, I need your crane.
Pull it forward.
Help.
Don't move, ma'am.
Just stay still, all right? You'll be okay.
Move it right here.
Come on.
Thank you.
That's where I gotta go.
Take me up.
I'm hurt.
My arm.
Just don't move, all right? Just stay still, ma'am.
It'll be okay.
Oh, please don't let me fall.
Help.
- Keep a hold on me, guys.
- I got it.
Please.
Please don't let me fall.
Just stay still and let me come to you.
Come on.
All right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's okay.
You're safe.
It's all right now.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
Thank you.
You hang in there, all right? Thank you.
Drop in anytime.
What is it about you that you can't hang onto a girl? I don't know.
It's like I was saying to myself up there: "Jon, you're losing your grip.
" There.
There we go.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Hi, Virginia.
Well, hello, Frank.
Come on in.
I just dropped by to court a princess.
That's wonderful.
Only do it quietly because I just put my own kids to sleep.
Okay.
She looks bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Well, she should be.
She's been sleeping all day long.
I'm real glad you're here.
- Here we go, baby.
- I'm not interrupting her supper? No, no, she finished everything except a cup of milk.
- What? No bottle? - No, she does very well.
- Can I try? - Sure.
In fact, there are some things I need to get for her and Al's working late tonight.
Are you free to babysit for half an hour? Virginia, I'm sworn to serve.
Well, that's wonderful.
What's in the package, a gift? Yeah, but we can open it later.
How are we doing, Princess? Now, are you sure you're gonna be okay? You have fed babies before, huh? Oh, countless times.
No sweat.
- I won't be long.
- Okay.
If I've fed babies before, she asks.
How do you like that? Nothing to it, right, Princess? No, no, no.
Don't blow on it.
Just sip it.
Yeah, there you are.
That's it.
See? Yeah, you got it.
You finish this and we'll settle down together and watch television, huh? Oh, yeah, that's right.
You slept all day.
What do you wanna do? You wanna go dancing, huh? Okay, we'll think of something.
Never mind.
Now, what do you suppose Virginia forgot, huh? You women, you know, you're always forgetting something.
I'll be right back.
No, now, you stay here, okay? I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
Okay? You stay.
- Hi.
- Hey, Mrs What are you doing here? I'm babysitting, by request.
What's that? Oh, it's a teddy bear.
I was just going by the store on the way over here, okay? Listen, they were selling toy animals, okay? I mean, I thought, "What the heck?" Oh, no.
It's okay.
Here, Princess, look at little old teddy bear.
Man, did I goof.
I left the cup where she could reach it.
She's soaking wet.
Here we go.
Hey, did you get her a present too? Never mind that, Jon.
Jon, we got a problem here.
I don't believe it.
Two teddy bears.
That's funny, huh? Yeah.
- You're not laughing.
- Because I don't think all this wet is milk.
Looks like the Martians have landed.
Yeah.
If those are Martians, I'll take a dozen.
Hey.
No license plate.
No taillights.
Could be hardened criminals.
You better be alert.
Where have you been? Who gave you permission to drive this thing away? Well, you were the one who told us to change our costumes.
You're incredible, the both of you.
Driving off in the very car we're gonna shoot.
You know, I've got a good mind to send you home.
Period.
What are these guys doing here? This car is improperly equipped to be driven on the street.
Well, we were only out there a minute.
Look, we're trying to film a TV commercial, officer.
May I see your driver's license and registration, please? Well, they're in the showroom.
We'll never do it again, we promise.
Would you please show me your driver's license? Would you please write up the ticket? You know how much this delay is costing? I'll tell you how much.
Thousands.
Look, I've gotta have this car right now, officer.
You can have the car, sir, but don't take it out of the lot, okay? Thank you very much.
Bring in the cameras.
Turn on the lights.
Vicky, your hair.
Julie, you come with me.
Vicky, you have to have your hair fixed now, please.
Don't go away.
Do you know what I just found out about myself? No.
I can guess, though.
You got a thing for Martians, right? Yeah, how did you know? How come girls always go first? - It never fails.
- Code of the west, Max, don't fight it.
When our family comes to the lake, we don't have the cabin so crowded.
Jimmy, do me a favor.
Let's not discuss this before breakfast.
Next.
Wait a minute.
Where are you going? Ellen, do me a favor.
Take my place while I talk to Grandma.
Oh, Daddy.
Grandma? Yeah, it's Jason.
- Mr.
Basset, Larry can go in with David.
- What? Mr.
Basset, two can go.
David, will you open up and let Larry in, please? - Grandma? - I'm so sick of boys, I could die.
All right.
Yeah.
Everything's fine.
How's the baby? The baby, Kimmy.
If you don't quit, I'm gonna slap you silly.
Well, Martha said she was gonna leave her with you.
I guess she decided to keep her herself.
She changed her mind, decided to keep her.
No, nothing's wrong.
It's fine.
I'll talk to you.
Bye-bye.
- Daddy? - What? Ellen's tired of standing in line.
- Your grandmother doesn't have the baby.
- Sure, she does.
Mama took her there.
- Who are you calling? - Go get yourself some orange juice.
- Hello.
- Is that you, darling? Oh, Jason, I was just on my way out the door.
I'll be there by 11.
That's wonderful.
How's the baby? I don't know.
I haven't talked to Grandma.
I have.
- Wonderful, how's the baby? - Martha, don't you have the baby? Oh, no, dear.
Grandma has the baby.
Darling, you took the baby to Grandma's yesterday morning.
Yesterday morning, darling, you said it was on your way and that you would take the baby.
But I didn't.
That's not funny, Martha.
Oh, Jason.
Now, I know you're all doing the paperwork but just remember that somebody has to read what you write.
So please Baker.
- We were detained in the line of duty.
- Just sit down.
Okay? Poncherello.
It's true.
We stopped to apprehend a couple of Martians.
- Martians? - Two.
Sit down.
Now, the main item today is the increasing thefts of vintage automobiles.
Yesterday, a '58 corvette and a '56 Cadillac were added to the rip-off list.
Now, there's no real M.
O.
That the sheriff's department can pin down.
What we do know is that they seem to be selective about the cars they grab.
It figures that they're experts at restoring them inside and out.
They probably market them.
Maybe sometimes take an order through a sales outlet that looks legit.
Now, as you can imagine, a classic-car buff will pay a small fortune for a car that he particularly wants.
Auto Theft is working on this but they don't have any solid leads.
So anything that you guys can come up with, you know.
Okay, that's all.
I don't care how confidential the briefing is.
I want to see your boss.
Now, you either send him to me or I'll go in after him myself.
Sounds like your number one girlfriend.
Yeah, Mrs.
Downey.
Let's get out of here.
- Are you the colonel? - Sergeant Getraer, ma'am.
Sergeant? I have no time for you, young man.
I want the head honcho.
- Send me your colonel.
- I'm in charge, ma'am.
- We don't have colonels in this outfit.
- Never mind the excuses.
I want my car.
I reported it stolen last night.
Now, where is it? Let's see.
Is that the '56 cad? Cadillac.
- Was the car in good condition, Mrs? - Downey.
Margaret Downey.
Yes, it is.
It rides like a pussycat.
- Did you leave the keys in the car? - Certainly not.
What do you think I am, a ninny? Some wise dude cased it at the market, hot-wired it and bugged out.
- I see.
- Well, don't just stand there.
Go find it.
Yes, ma'am.
Get it.
- Right, right, right.
- Get it.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
Check an 11-24 abandoned 1965 Avanti, Hillside and Fuller.
L.
A.
, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
10-4.
Westbound Monroe and Highland.
A '65 Avanti? That's a classic, you know.
Yeah, we better get it off the streets before the bad guys do.
Apprehended runaway garbage.
Do you wanna call it in? L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.
- I should've gone to the county - Dad.
Daddy! but it took so long to find out - Okay, just calm down.
- I really don't know what you call it.
- All right.
Quiet.
Quiet.
Quiet.
All right.
Now, the County Juvenile Authority has charge of your baby and if you'll remain calm and quiet it'll take me no more than five minutes to find out exactly where your baby is.
How long is it gonna take you to find my car? - We're working on it, Mrs.
Downey.
- We're working on it, indeed.
Just put one of your stoolies on it.
It'll work in no time.
Never known anything like it.
You seem to think that I don't have anything else to do.
Well, I'm expected at a bingo party this very afternoon.
- Mrs.
Downey, if you'd like to go home - I can't go home.
I'm stranded here.
Because you can't find my car.
Which means I have to take a bus.
Me, an 85-year-old senior citizen, barely able to walk.
How do you think that'll look on the TV news tonight? Not good, Mrs.
Downey.
You're right.
Baricza.
- Come here a minute, please.
- Yeah, sarge? You know, I like the work you've been doing lately and I wanna reward you with a special choice assignment.
Drive Mrs.
Downey home.
- Drive her home? - Home.
To her door.
Clear? - Yes, sir, clear.
- Okay, Mrs.
Downey if you'll go with Officer Baricza, he'll drive you home to your door and we'll notify you as soon as we hear about that car.
I kind of like you, son.
All right, hook it up and take it to the OP garage.
Hey, maybe we're in luck.
Yeah? Good or bad? The lady that called it in said she saw two guys drive up last night.
She thinks maybe they tried to start the Avanti, then gave up and drove away.
- Might've been the owner.
- Might not have been too.
I know why they gave it up.
It had a broken axle.
Anyway, we got a possible license number here.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3.
Suspect vehicle: Late model pick-up.
Yellow in color.
California plate 1-David-73795.
Also, landline, Virginia Prideman at 553-5473 at your convenience.
It might be the Princess.
Come on, let's get to a phone.
They would always rather eat than talk.
I'm an architect, and my wife's in public relations.
It doesn't seem important now, does it? I hope you don't think we're negligent.
You're back together now.
Everything's gonna be okay.
I'm sorry, but the thought of losing her is hard.
Yeah, we know.
We love her, you know? Very much.
You understand that? Yes, sir, we do.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, here.
You got mine.
We got her a funny old teddy here.
- Thanks a lot.
- Okay, take care.
L.
A.
15, 8 requesting back-up for 10-851 vehicle.
California 1-David-73795 at 14840 San Fernando Road, location of a possible auto-theft ring.
Take a left at the next corner.
Mrs.
Downey, we took a left at this corner 10 minutes ago.
I'm entitled to one mistake, now take a left.
- You're sure this is a short cut? - Yes, to where I want to go.
Now, Mrs.
Downey, I was told to take you home.
Did anyone ever tell you that you were a very handsome man? Mrs.
Downey.
- Ma'am, we were on this street before.
- I think you took a wrong turn.
Here, I didn't tell you to do that.
No, ma'am, but the sergeant told me to take you to your door.
You don't know where I live.
Really, Mrs.
Downey, driving around is no way to find your car.
and 8th for possible 10-851.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3 and 4, responding from 7th and Hill.
That's it.
That's it.
One-oh-eight-five-one, I know what that means.
Come on, let's go.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
That could be it, but I can't respond with you in the car.
Now, Mrs.
Downey, that's your house.
Please.
L.
A.
, 7 Adam.
Responding from 5th and Arcadia.
Put your hands on your head.
Get down on your knees.
Cross your legs.
Cross your legs.
Doesn't look like these guys will make the covers of any hot-rod magazines this month.
Yeah, it's a shame, isn't it? Get your pictures taken anyway.
Come on.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
It's about time.
- Mrs.
Downey.
Mrs.
Downey.
- Yeah? Ma'am, you can't take the car yet.
Listen, we have a lot of paperwork to do, okay? Ah, they're right, Mrs.
Downey.
All these vehicles are used as evidence.
So it's you again, colonel.
- Sergeant.
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Hey, what did I do? - What did you do? - Yeah.
Nothing.
That's just it.
I had to find my own car.
Mrs.
Downey, Mrs.
Downey.
Hey, my b
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