Clarence US (2014) s01e16 Episode Script

1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Did you hand out all the invites? Yeah, but I couldn't find Darlie, so I left it on her desk.
Well, I heard she barfed in gym, so she had to go home.
- That is so like her.
- Okay, so, if you just remember that "blue" and "'92" rhyme, it's just gonna be a lot more fun for everyone.
- Psst.
Psst.
Hey, Jeff.
- This is important, Clarence.
This is important, too.
I'm writing with my teeth.
Hey, Jeff.
Hey, Jeff.
Ow! Oof! Uh-oh, pencil walrus out of the tank.
Arr, arr, arr, arr, arr, arr! Hey, give him some fish! Clarence, ugh.
We talked about this.
No more pencil walrus, please.
Sit up front.
Come on.
Ooooh! Okay, that's enough.
Uh, Clarence, you got to Oh, hello, letter.
"Hey, there.
You're invited.
" I'm invited? - You're invited.
- All right! I got the new Kidz 2 Dudez tape, so we can listen to that! I'll bring a super long-last razzle dazzle hair gel so we can glitter our hair! I have "Werewolf boyfriend 3" so we can watch it over and over! And I got some cubby worms so we can play gummy nose.
- Eeeeeeee! - Did you invite him? - Um, I don't think s - Thanks for inviting me.
How did you even know that I like parties so much? Come on.
Get in here.
Join the hug force.
Ahh.
New friends.
Any idea for activities this weekend, Sumo? We could hunt for roadkill.
I found a skunk last week.
Still had most of his head.
I got a new spirokit set.
We could play with that.
We could throw your spirokit set off my roof.
L-Let's see what Clarence wants to do.
Oh, I'm going to that sleepover party.
Aren't you guys going? Kimby's party? I don't think we're supposed to.
You guys are just jealous.
I'm sure they'll invite you next time.
Bye, friends.
What do we do now? A gummy mummy! Am I too early? Too late? Uh, you're fine, I guess.
I like your wings.
So, who's coming tonight? Actually, it doesn't matter.
I'll have fun with anybody.
Huh? Don't you guys think this is creepy? This isn't a sleepover! It's a slumber party! I'm gonna pee my pants.
Unh! There's another perfect circle.
Yep, perfect circle.
Again.
Remember that time Clarence shoved all those deviled eggs in his mouth? Yeah.
I was there.
Ha! So, uh you heard from Clarence lately? I've been here the whole time! Oh.
Okay.
Pull yourself together, tough guy.
You can do this.
You can do this.
Think "slumber party.
" - I got it.
- I only brought girl horses.
I can't believe you stole my boyfriend! - I don't have a boyfriend.
- Um okay, truth or dare.
Kimby, I dare you to, um, braid my hair.
I I don't want to touch your hair.
Me, neither.
Let's have a pillow fight.
You're ruining our night.
Um are you Sumo, I-I think it's - your turn.
- I can't take it anymore! Can't you just say something wacky? You know, like something Clarence would say.
Good thinking.
All right.
How about um Hey, fellas, how'd you like to ride on a tugboat? I just can't do it! I'm not Clarence! Okay, okay.
I'll be Clarence.
Hi, my name is Cwarence.
I like pizza, and I have a chicken, and I get invited to cool parties, even though Jeff is the social butterfly of the group, and if they would just get to know Jeff, they'd know he's the best person to have at a party.
I don't think Clarence would say that.
Ewwww! Is Duncan Smith thinking about me right now? "Yes.
" Ewwww! Okay, okay.
My turn.
Will Gilben kiss me on the lips? - "Yes.
" - Ewwww! - Okay, Malessica.
Your turn.
- Does Jeff like me? - Aw, it says "maybe.
" - Ohh.
Forget about him.
He's not that cute anyway.
Um, excuse me, lady friends.
- Are you guys talking about this Jeff? - Yeah, she really likes him.
I do not! I just think he's nice and a little bit cute.
Do you know him or something? Yeah! He's my best friend, and we eat lunch every day, and you should call him on the phone.
He'd love talking on the phone.
I don't know.
The origami says he might not like me.
Here, I'll do it for you.
555-0101.
Get it away! Oh no! Hello? Uh I don't know what to say! You take it! No way! You have to talk.
- This is, like, your call.
- You got to do it.
Let me talk.
Good evening.
Hello, Jeff.
- Yes? - Hi, this is - What's your name, again? - Malessica.
This is Malessica.
I just wanted to say that I think you are a real upstanding gent.
Oh, my gosh.
Malessica likes me! - But something sounded off.
- All right, buddy.
I just wish Clarence was here to see this.
- How did you do that? - That was awesome.
Do you girls want to have some real fun? I need to call her back.
I have to tell her I love her! No, man.
It's too soon.
Too soon! Come on, Courtlin! Come on! Come on.
Come on.
Wheeeee! - Come on! Yeah, throw it! - You can do it! Yeah.
I feel alive.
Kimby! Kimby! Kimby! Clarence always says, "if you love someone, you call them back immediately.
" No, that's wrong.
You'll freak her out.
- Well, Clarence says - Clarence isn't here.
- He's at that stupid slumber party.
- Yeah.
It is stupid.
I bet he's having so much fun over there.
Yeah, baking cookies.
And probably knitting or something dumb.
Yeah, or trying on outfits, doing each other's nails.
Talking about their feelings.
And having dumb pillow fights.
I don't think I've had this much fun - at a slumber party ever! - Me neither.
I just wish I'd talked to Jeff when I had the chance.
Oh, well.
No! Not "oh, well.
" You still have the chance.
Did Kimby say "oh, well" when she smashed that gnome? No.
She said, "oh, yeah," and she smashed the heck out of that little guy.
Did I say "oh, well" when I dropped my cubby worms in your driveway? No.
I said, "oh, yes," and I picked those babies right up, and I shared them with you guys.
Did Columbus say "oh, well" when he couldn't discover Indiana and he landed his plane in Canada instead? No.
He said, "oh, maybe," and he put that flag down, and he marched right up to the courthouse, and he made that bill a law! - Uh, Clarence, that's - Oh, yes.
That's why you ladies can vote to this very day.
So, let's stop saying our "oh, wells" and start saying our "oh, let's go to Jeff's already.
" Yeah! Whoo! Come on! It's the new Kidz 2 Dudez song.
I like your face I look good next to you - It's not even that bad.
- Yeah, I'm feeling it.
Oh, great.
Sumo and Jeff are still having a wild bro party in the dude cave.
baby, your brains don't mean nothing to me your personality is secondary I just want you to be my accessory Yep, bro'ing down like they always do.
bro down, bro down everybody bro down, bro down everybody bro down You have to put your hands like this.
Let's go back to my place and hit each other with sticks.
Where you guys going? - Don't you want to talk to Jeff? - I don't know if I like Jeff anymore.
- Yeah, let's get wild.
- Come on, Clarence.
No, I-I'm afraid this is where we part ways.
I've taught you everything I know.
- I'm needed here.
- See you at school! - Bye, Clarence! - That was just so weird.
I just feel like lead with this foot, then we pivot.
Hey, guys.
Guess who's back! Clarence! All right, guys.
Take it easy.
You're gonna break my head.
Clarence, I got a call from a girl! He was gonna call her right back, but I told him you wouldn't like that.
But then I told him you would like that.
Anyway, we're glad you're back.
'Cause I was about to kill Jeff.
So, did Malessica say anything about me? I think she really likes me.
Um, I'm not so sure about that, but don't worry, Jeff.
There's plenty of girls out there who want to be in the Jeff business.
After all, you're a real upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.
Upstanding gent.