Dog with a Blog (2012) s01e16 Episode Script

School vacation A time when you take a break from your normal routine.
You sleep in till noon, play ball in the park, stuff your face with junk food Wait a minute.
That is my normal routine! I love vacation! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! So, everyone excited for vacation? Mm-hmm.
I got my vacation to-do list right here.
I've got my to-do "Eat muffin".
This is a list of artistic activities that I want to get through on vacation.
What's the first thing on your list? You mean after "laminate the list"? I'm gonna finish writing my one-woman show.
A dramatic telling of my life.
"Avery which way but loose".
Finish? You mean you've already started? - Whoa.
- I was born! If only if it were that easy.
You came out feet-first.
Oh.
Quick rewrite.
I was born.
And then I learned to stand.
And walk.
And dance! Then I learned to open the door.
So, Tyler, what do you have planned for vacation? Something much less creepy than the four-foot baby.
I'm gonna master some new tricks on my BMX Bike.
By the way, can I have money for a new BMX Bike? Why don't you get a job and earn the money yourself? That a crazy idea! - Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha! I'm serious, son.
Look, if you get a bike with money you earned, it's gonna mean so much more to you.
But I want it to mean so much more to you.
Your father's right.
You're getting a job.
I may have misplayed that one.
I'm never asking you for anything again! - Okay.
- Fine.
I may have misplayed that one.
What's the big deal about getting a job? Mommy doesn't have a job.
Oh, really? You don't do anything.
Daddy works with patients all day.
Aha! Aha! Sweetie, please leave daddy out of this.
Uh, Chloe, being a mommy is the hardest job of all.
Harder than daddy's job? All right, Chloe, I'll show you what mommy does.
While you're on vacation this week, you'll do everything I do.
I get to be mommy for vacation? Yay! And your first job is to chastise daddy for weaseling out of this conversation.
Bennett! I gotta look for a job my dad just won't stop bugging me about it.
I wish I could find a job in the park.
I mean, I'm here all the time anyway.
I wish I could tell him about the sign, but there's too many people around.
You want me to throw it, boy? All right.
Go get it! Where am I gonna find a job? Oh, Stan.
Not a care in the world.
But not me.
I've got to somehow look for a job.
Here you go, boy! Seriously? Hey! Tyler and Stan! Meet "The Hawk," owner of the food truck.
He's a lot like his truck Constantly failing health inspections.
Hey, Hawk.
I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks.
Oh, been in Colorado slinging fries and rock climbing.
Did a lot of this Help! Help! I'm not finger-strong! Ha ha ha ha! So you could just drive all over and do whatever you want? Man, I wish I could find a job as cool as yours.
Looking for a job? Why don't you apply here? You have opening? Man, you should put out a sign or something.
- I'd love to work in the food truck.
- Great! You're hired! Ha ha ha ha! Wow, that looks like fun.
Okay, now it's going on too long.
All right, Chloe, your first mommy job is to rinse the dishes and then put them in the dishwasher.
We have a dishwasher why do we have to rinse the dishes? Nobody knows.
Just accept it.
Oh.
Hey, mom.
Mini-mom.
What are you doing with that big block of ice? About to check "ice sculpture" off my artistic activities list.
Oh, well, mentally.
Because now it's laminated.
Well, this block of ice isn't gonna carve itself.
All right, dear.
Chloe, when we're done with this, we're gonna Wait, what did she just say? Oh! This is gonna take forever.
Stan.
So much easier.
And no soapy residue! - Meat bag up! - Meat bag up! Thanks.
And don't forget, that combo comes with fries and a smile.
Tyler, you're great with the customers.
You got style.
I could of used you when I drove my truck to Alaska.
You drove this truck to Alaska? Not this one.
That truck was commandeered by bears.
Oh.
They went crazy.
You'd think they'd never seen a taco before.
You have the most exciting life! Hey, how ya doing on the register? Eh, I don't need the register.
I do it all in my head.
We cleared $213.
54, not including the six burgers and 214 fries you ate.
If you monitor me, I'll never lose weight.
But I'm impressed you tracked all that in your head! Ha ha ha! Everybody's got a talent, huh? Watch this.
Nyaaaaah! Ho ho ho ho! That's so cool! How'd you learn how to do that? Didn't know I could till just now.
Always try new things, Tyler.
Fly free.
Is that why they call you The Hawk? Because you fly free? No, no, it's because It's because I steal eggs.
Whoa, whoa.
Chloe, what are you doing? You told me to do the laundry.
In the washing machine.
Why should the washing machine have all the fun? Mommy's work is not about fun.
It's serious business.
And by the way, don't expect a lot of appreciation, because believe me, you won't get any.
Chloe, you are doing a wonderful job! This house has never looked better.
I don't know what we would do without you.
Yay! Time to do the laundry! Woo-hoo! Great job, sweetheart! All this hard work and with a smile, too.
Isn't she just the Uh! You're home! You're ho-ho-ho-home! Hee hee! Oh, Stan, you must have really missed me while I was at work.
No, you smell like meat.
You spend your day with meat.
I never thought I'd say this I want to be you.
It's an awesome job.
I wish I could have my own food truck one day, just like The Hawk.
Well, why can't you? Well, you know, mom and dad want me to get good grades, go to college, get a good job.
Yeah, but what do you want? I want to live like The Hawk.
Then go for it! As a dog, there's one thing I know: When there's something you want, you go after it.
Ooh, porcupine! Woof! Woof! When you go after what you want, nothing bad ever happens.
But The Hawk is so cool! I could see myself living my life just like him.
Tyler, working in a food truck is not a life goal! A life goal should be a lawyer or a scientist or, I don't know, best-selling author-slash-child psychologist.
Or a much-appreciated homemaker.
You want me to be a homemaker? Well, not you.
- Why not him? - Or a much-appreciated homemaker! Listen, Bennett, we're getting way ahead of ourselves here.
It's not like he's gonna quit school and go off and do this.
Hey mom, that's a great idea! You know, The Hawk didn't even finish high school.
I may have misplayed that one.
I think this "Hawk" character is becoming a bad influence on you.
I don't want a fry cook acting as my son's guidance counselor.
Yeah.
You're gonna focus on your schoolwork, you're gonna go to college, and you're gonna have a real career Possibly as a homemaker.
End of discussion.
Yes.
They're right, end of discussion.
Oh, that's fun to say! You're not even hearing me.
And thanks for taking their side.
Hey! I'm just worried about your future.
Well, I'm trying to live right now, and right now you're supposed to have my back against mom and dad.
Even when they're a hundred percent right and you're a hundred percent wrong? Especially then! Listen, Tyler And this isn't coming from them, it's coming from me Son, you're going nowhere fast! You're just as bad as they are.
Did you know that porcupines are not made of pork? So, how is your insane overachiever's list coming? Uh, excuse me insane "artistic activities" list.
And it's coming along great.
I'm just editing the track of a new video I just made.
Oh, that.
Uh, yeah.
I made a few small improvements.
Bow, bow, bow-bidda bow, bow, bow Bow, bow, bow-bidda bow, bow, bow.
Bow, bow, bow-bidda bow, bow, bow.
Bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow bow.
Twada-boppa-dwow-wow.
Whoa, yeah! Wow! That's, uh, that's really cool.
But now I can't post it on the Internet.
People will see you singing.
Nobody's gonna know it's me I'm wearing my shades! Avery, dinner's almost ready and I need you to set the table.
But I did it last I don't need a debate; I need the table set.
Dinner! - Can I help you? - Hey! I'm The Hawk! Ooh-ooh! Okay! Ah ho ho ho! Uh-uh Tyler invited me for dinner! Tyler didn't tell us you were coming! Tyler, get in here now! Oh! Yeah.
I kinda invited The Hawk to dinner.
I brought you a hostess gift.
I didn't know if we were having meat or fish, so I brought meat.
I hate fish.
Oh.
Well Thank you.
Excuse us one moment "The Hawk".
I've heard the legends, but never believed it was possible Low table meat.
It's actually happening! What are you doing inviting him here? You said you thought he wasn't a good influence.
I wanted to show you how cool he is.
You really put us on the spot.
You should be more like The Hawk just go with the flow.
- Maybe - Aah! Maybe I should, uh, take off.
I'm getting that familiar vibe like right before the cops show up.
No, you don't have to go! I invited you to dinner! If we're having guests for dinner, I could use a little notice.
Look, I don't want to cause trouble or get your little maid upset.
No, you can't go! You have to tell them about the cool life you lead! How you travel the world and speak three languages.
Two of 'em are made up.
But hey, you know, I don't let people tell me how to live my life, I'm not gonna tell anyone how to live theirs.
A ninja master taught me that.
He also taught me how to gracefully leave an awkward situation.
See ya! You didn't even give him a chance.
Thanks a lot for making him not feel welcome.
I'm sure he didn't even notice.
He's in his own world! Like that kid at the park who flies the invisible kite.
Honey, that boy is actually a patient of mine.
And he was doing much better Until a trash can fell on him.
If you can't respect what's important to me, then I'm not gonna respect what's important to you.
Okay, I'm quitting school to work in the food truck full-time.
The only thing that you are quitting is that job.
- You're not going back there.
- This is so unfair! Can we not sit down and eat as a family just once?! Oh! There we go.
Uh, let me guess.
3-D chalk art was on your list.
Yes! Yes! Yes Oh, come on.
Do you think anyone would believe this is really a bottomless pit? I stand corrected! Ected ected Oh, my gosh.
Is that Tyler in the food truck? I thought your parents made him quit.
Look sorry, guys, I can't hang now.
I'm working.
Wow.
I've never seen Tyler say no to goofing off with his friends.
A little red.
Little yellow.
Lay it down on a lettuce pillow.
Hey, I got the food down; Still working on the rhymes.
Avery! Ooh.
No worries.
Face burger, half-off! You can't tell mom and dad I'm still working here.
How long do you think you can get away with this? - I don't know, but I can't give it up.
- Well, you shouldn't.
But you don't understand wait, what? I don't think you should quit.
You're not slacking off.
You're focused and you're taking your work seriously.
You're like a different person a better person.
You're like me.
I'm sorry I didn't believe in you.
Tyler, I'm shutting down the truck the rest of the day.
Gotta get a weird mole checked out.
- What? Hope it's okay.
- Yeah, me too.
You don't have to shut down the truck.
I can handle it.
Oh, if you think you're ready.
I trust ya.
Don't let me down.
Don't worry, I won't.
I'm glad you spotted that mole.
Yeah, discovered it in the shower this morning.
The Hawk is gone, Tyler's out here Oh, I am gonna get all up in that grill! You know, mom and dad should really see how great you're doing.
No! If they find out I'm working here, it'll just make it worse.
You can't tell them.
But you know when I have something I want to say how hard it is for me not to say it.
First I get all Then I get all oh And then I say it.
Tiffany's dating another boy! Promise me you'll do better at keeping my secret from mom and dad.
Fine.
I'll tell them, uh, you and your BMX buddies are terrorizing a nursing home.
You're a good sister.
Thanks for having my back.
Come on, Stan.
Wait.
Stan? Hey, who wants a burger? It's okay, I just washed my paws.
What are you doing, Sweetie? Doing what mommy does when she needs a break.
Watching one of her shows.
You don't have to take that from your old man! Kick him to the curb! Avery, honey, have you seen your brother? He's been gone all day.
I'm not on trial here.
Stop grilling me! I mean, "no, no, I haven't".
Gotta take attention away from Avery's horrible attempt to cover.
Commando crawl Aw, look at Stan.
- He's so cute! - Oh, good.
He's distracted.
What were we talking about? The fact that I know absolutely nothing about Tyler's whereabouts.
Well, I was just adorable for nothing.
Well, Tyler's probably messing around somewhere like always.
It's probably why he wanted to work in the food truck in the first place, to flirt with girls and hang around his friends at the park.
And hang out with that goofball Hawk.
So much for him getting a job to learn responsibility.
I don't know what it's gonna take for our son to grow up.
Tiffany's dating another boy! - What? - What? And also Tyler's working in the food truck.
- What?! - What?! He has no business being a father! - What?! - What?! Jeff and Kristina are a hot mess.
Avery, what did you say about Tyler? Tyler's still working in the food truck.
But it's okay he's taking it seriously.
He's not goofing off.
You guys really need to go down there and see how great of a job he's doing.
Oh, we're going down there, all right to drag him home.
- No, dad, this isn't what I wanted! - I can't believe he disobeyed us.
I can't believe Jeff and Kristina blew all their lottery money on an above-ground pool! Come on! Well, would you take a look at Dad, really? Look, everyone, I'm sorry I'm not getting the orders right! It's just a little more than I can handle! Yep.
Tyler's doing great job.
I was only gone five minutes.
Kids what are you gonna do? Tyler! What are you doing still working here? Thanks for ratting me out, Avery! I tried holding it in, but it just burst out! I'm sorry, Tyler.
I just told them because I was so proud of you.
Tyler, come down! You're coming with us! Just a sec, angry mob! I'll be right with you! Sorry.
Excuse me.
Guys, I'm sorry I disobeyed you, and I know I'm in trouble, but I can't leave now.
Okay? The Hawk put me in charge.
I have a responsibility here.
I see what angle you're playing here.
You're talking "responsibility" because you know that's what we want to hear, just so you can sit up in that food truck, dealing with an angry mob, sweating through your shirt I don't really see what angle he's playing.
There's no angle.
I put a coupon online for spicy tacos, and business went crazy.
If I don't honor it, it'll ruin The Hawk's reputation.
Please! Let me fix this mess.
I think we owe somebody an apology.
Avery, I am so sorry.
We never should have doubted you about Tyler.
Can I get back to work now? Well, if you want to honor your commitment, you can finish out the day, before that angry mob tears down the truck.
- Really? - Go! Thanks.
- He is in way over his head.
- Mm hmm.
- Do you think we should help him out? - Looks like we're working in a food truck.
Honey, next time Tyler asks for money for a BMX Bike, let's just give him money for a BMX Bike.
Thanks for your help, guys.
I guess we should go home now and you can ground me or, make me clean the garage or whatever you're gonna do to me.
- Clean the garage? That's a good one.
- Never would have thought of that.
I may have misplayed that one.
You know you can take the hair net off now, dad.
Just because you can doesn't mean you have to.
Tyler! Ha ha ha! Heard things got a little busy today! Good job! Ha ha ha ha! Your son's a real hard worker.
I don't know what I'd do without him.
Probably go back to the way it was two days ago.
Yeah, about that I think today was my last day.
Uh not so fast.
Tyler, we've seen a side of you today we've never seen before.
Yeah, you really found something you take seriously.
- So I can keep the job? - Yes.
But you're staying in school.
Thanks.
Oh, this is a great day for everybody.
You guys worked all this out, and I found out I don't have a mole.
He's a European black bear hamster.
Oh good.
Well, "The Hawk," I think we owe you a dinner.
Excellent! I'm gonna go to Chinoise.
I'll send you the bill.
Tyler kept the job he loves, and I couldn't be happier.
Especially since I get to lick the grease off him after every shift.
I also learned a valuable lesson Never drink out of a public toilet after "spicy taco coupon day".
Ho.
Whoa! So, Chloe, what did you learn being mommy this week? Being mommy is hard work.
Thank you.
Much harder than being a psychologist.
Oh, really? Sometimes I feel sad.
Sometimes overwhelmed.
Sometimes lonely.
I don't know what to do.
You should watch a silly movie.
That always makes me happy.
- That's a great idea.
- This is easy.