Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e16 Episode Script

1
(upbeat theme music)
(tense music)
- [Female] All right,
Hannah, what's going?
What's going, what's going?
(upbeat music)
- [Hannah] That was brilliant!
- Did you see the clown fish?
So what do you think?
Reckon we'll a Reef Dive review yet?
- (laughs) I don't know.
I did have fun though.
Thanks, Brett.
- That's not a problem, Hannah.
- Hey, what time is it?
- Late.
- How late?
- Don't panic.
We'll have you back before breakfast.
- What?
- Hannah.
Look what I got at the library today.
- Oh, hey, wow.
Well, fancy that, finding
a book in the library.
- Oh, ignore him.
He'll learn to read one day.
What is it?
- It's all about life in
the Middle Ages, but look.
It's a picture of the
Ruined Castle in Galway.
- Hey, that's just down
the road from my school.
That I used to go to
before I came over here.
- Oh, yeah!
Yeah, there's the road that goes to, um.
What was that place you told me about?
- O'Shaunesy Farm.
- Yeah, that's right.
That's the one.
- She's been so excited
waiting to show you.
Are you gonna stay for a while?
- Um, no, I can't, but if you want,
I'll bring you back some
photos of the Ruined Castle.
- Great!
- You almost gave it away just then.
- Sorry, I forgot.
- Well, don't.
Otherwise, you can
forget about the portal.
(bouncy music)
- Hannah!
Nice to see you back.
- Oh!
Um, hi, Tara.
Just had to go to the bathroom.
Nature called.
- And called and called and called.
- Pardon?
- You have been out all night.
Where were you?
- Nowhere special.
- You went down into the cellar.
- No, I didn't.
- Ugh, if it wasn't so ridiculous,
I'd say you were sneaking
out to see a guy.
- Well, well, what's so
ridiculous about that?
- Aha, you have!
- I didn't say that.
- Ugh, who knows what
you see in Brett Miller.
He's such a loser.
- Brett's not that bad.
- Oh, whatever.
The important thing, Hannah,
is that I now have some very
serious information about you.
I wonder what Miss Murphy might think.
- You wouldn't.
- Probably not.
Of course, that all depends on
how nice you're going to be.
- Well, what's that supposed to mean?
- I'll let you know.
See you at breakfast.
- Aha, I knew it would
be somewhere along here.
That was pretty obvious, all right.
This is how the sheep escaped.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
- I'm not looking for a
second opinion, Einstein.
Now, scoot.
- What?
- Skedaddle, hit the road.
- What for?
- Go find the sheep!
- Me?
I don't know how to find sheep.
- Okay.
Here's a tip.
Try looking.
They can't have got very far.
O'Doyle's Farm, O'Shaunesy's,
the castle ruins.
- But even if I do find 'em,
how am I supposed to
get them to come back?
- Whoosh them.
- What?
- Whoosh!
It won't be very difficult.
They probably didn't even want to escape.
- Hannah!
The very person I was looking for.
- Tara, I've got to get to breakfast.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Just turn your face a
little towards the light.
- What?
- Go on.
I need to look at your skin color.
- I don't have time for this, Tara.
- Then perhaps you have time
to come to Miss Murphy's office.
She's going to be so interested
to hear about your late night
rendezvous with Aussie boy.
- All right.
What do you want?
Money?
Torture?
Slavery?
- There's no need to be smart, Hannah.
You've got me all wrong.
- Really?
- Really.
I want to help you.
- You wanna help me?
- Well, help both of us actually.
You know the project we've
got to do for art class?
- Yes.
- Well, I've decided to do a makeover.
- A makeover?
That's not even art.
- It most definitely is!
Art is about beauty, and
what could be more beautiful
than turning an ugly duckling
into a gorgeous swan?
You, Hannah, are my ugly duckling.
- Hey, sheepy sheepy sheepy.
Here sheepy, sheepy sheepy sheepy.
(sheep baas)
- Think about it Hannah,
I get to do a cool project
and you get a new face.
It's the perfect win win situation.
- But I like my face as it is.
- You think you like your face
but you don't really.
- Yes, I do.
- Every morning of your life
you've looked in the mirror
at the same old face.
Then naturally you've developed a certain
affection for it,
like your favorite pair of riding boots.
- I don't even have riding boots.
- But if you did,
you'd look closely and see
that the leather was all dry and cracked
and that the seams were
all frayed and yucky.
It's exactly the same with your face.
- But it isn't that bad.
- Trust me, Hannah,
your life is about to take off
in ways you've never dreamed about.
- Tara, please,
do we have to do this?
Can't I just do your laundry for a month
and your ironing?
- Actually Hannah,
I've just had a brain wave,
it's not your face that's the problem.
- Really?
Great.
- It's all of you.
- Sorry?
- I'm going to take on the
ultimate artistic challenge,
the complete reinvention
of Hannah O'Flaherty.
Yes.
I've written you some notes on PR.
- Public relations?
- No, silly, personality ratings.
- And what's that?
- Your major blind spot,
you can't tell the difference
between people who are important
and people who are unimportant.
- Well, I just treat everyone the same.
- Which is exactly where you go wrong.
Important people are useful people.
- Well, how do you know who's useful?
- Easy,
like people with lots of money
or important connections,
they're always useful.
Make sure you're nice
to them at all times.
- Hey, Hannah.
- He on the other hand
is so completely useless
he should be locked up.
- Cormac is a friend of mine.
- Correction, an ex-friend.
- But I can't just dump him.
- You can Hannah and you must.
This is your first test, Hannah,
don't fail it.
- Check out this book on astronomy.
- Um
I'm sorry, Cormac, I'm a little busy.
Maybe later.
- It's really exciting.
I'm working on a new telescope and--
- Cormac, if Hannah wants
to see your new telescope,
she'll send you an email, okay?
- An email?
- Well, it's just that
things are so full on.
- So don't call us, we'll call you.
Bye Cormac.
- Yeah, sure.
- Sometimes Hannah, you
have to be cruel to be kind.
Cormac's a loser.
Making him understand that is
actually a nice thing to do.
He'll thank you for it one day.
(bouncy music)
(sheep baaing)
- Woosh, woosh,
woosh come on, woosh!
Sheepy sheepy sheepy!
- Seamus said you'd be here.
- Do you have to sneak up on me like that?
- Sorry.
I didn't want to interrupt
in case you and the sheep
were discussing something important.
- Very funny.
What did you do to your hair?
- Your friend Tara says it's trendy.
- Since when do you listen to Tara?
- Since she caught me
sneaking off to the portal.
- What?
- Well, she followed me
to the cellar last night.
- I knew something like this would happen.
We've been pushing our
luck with the portal.
- All right,
so I made a mistake
but since when have you been so perfect?
- At least I make sure no one's around
when I use it.
- I don't need this.
- Now where you going?
- Away from you.
- Oh Hannah, you're being dumb.
Come back and we'll talk
about this properly.
Hannah, this is stupid!
What are you looking at?
Come on, I've had you,
let's get out of here.
(rock music)
Hannah!
Hannah!
Hannah!
(rock music)
- I know they say that
beauty comes from within
but if you ask me it comes
from a good mud pack.
- How long do we have to stay like this?
- Your skin is full of impurities.
You can't rush it.
But the sessions will get shorter
after a few weeks.
- A few weeks?
- I think you're beginning
to realize, Hannah,
that being beautiful is hard work.
Now, show me your nails.
Oh.
(mysterious music)
- [Male] Paging Miss Murphy.
Telephone call,
I've got a invitation for Miss Murphy.
- Jackie, I don't want to alarm you.
- What is it love?
- Promise me you won't overreact.
- Okay.
- I think I'm dying.
- What?
- I've double checked the symptoms
and I'm afraid I have the bubonic plague.
- And when did you discover this?
- About 15 minutes ago.
- And you're absolutely sure?
- It's all in my book
about the middle ages.
- Oh I see.
- I've written out my will.
Wayne can have my hats
and Brett can have my books.
- Sweetheart, why don't we go
and have a look at this book
'cause it sounds really interesting?
(upbeat music)
- Exfoliation is vital when showering.
What we really need of course is a sauna.
(knocking)
- Hi, Tara, Hannah?
- I don't believe we have
anything to say to him, do we?
- I don't believe we do.
- Bubonic plague was
spread by a flea bite.
The symptoms include a cough,
(coughs)
and a temperature,
and death was slow
horrific torturous ordeal.
- I'll be brave, I promise.
If my pain gets too
bad, just shut the door.
- I hate to disappoint you, Meredith
but you don't have the bubonic plague.
- But I have all the symptoms.
- You have a mossy bite,
a little bit of sunburn, a tickly throat
and a very overactive imagination.
- Well what about the
Scarlet Fever because--
- There is nothing wrong with you.
Books like this are too morbid.
I'm surprised you haven't had nightmares.
- Well, I thought they were hallucinations
brought on by the disease.
- I think it's time we found you
some alternative reading matter,
a few joke books for a start.
Don't forget the bins, Brett.
Brett?
Brett, are you still up?
- Yeah, what's up?
- [Mother] It's your
turn to put out the bins.
- Um
All right, I'm coming.
(mysterious music)
Excuse us, mom, I'll go
put the bins out there.
- Good.
(upbeat music)
- [Tara] Hannah, I can't
believe the change in you.
- Me neither.
- Well if you've come this far in a day
where will you be in a week?
- Can't imagine.
- Oh I'm sorry, Hannah,
I'm just chatting to Martin.
Think you can cope on your own for awhile?
- Hey Cormac.
- Hi.
- Just thought I'd come over
and look at your telescope.
That's if you still want to show it to me.
- Oh, why wouldn't I?
- Well
Um
Earlier on with Tara.
- It's okay, it's normal
when people are with Tara.
- So where is this famous telescope?
- You're looking at it.
I found an old pair of binoculars
and I took apart a disposable camera
and then I remembered I
had an old pair of glasses.
- Wow, that's amazing.
It's really unbelievable.
- You look
different.
- Oh, do you think so?
- Yeah, but don't worry,
chemists have got stuff
for just about everything these days.
- Brett, I made a copy
of that Galway Castle picture for Hannah.
Is she coming round tomorrow?
- I don't know.
- Why not?
- Why should I know?
- Because you're you know.
- We are not anything.
- Have you two had a fight?
- Ugh, don't be mad.
- Then why are you so touchy.
- I am not touchy.
- You are.
- I am not touchy, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm going to bed, all right?
- Fine!
- And I am not touchy.
- Teenagers.
- Well girls I think we're
in total agreement on this,
purple is most definitely
last season's color.
- Absolutely.
- Totally passe.
- Excuse me,
I need some fresh air.
- Right, let's move on
to the next item on the agenda,
orange.
(mysterious music)
- Hey.
- Don't say a word.
- I wasn't going to.
I came to talk to you.
Look, this fight we had,
I'm sorry, okay?
- Brett, Tara's watching me 24/7.
I can't use the portal anymore
so we can pretty much just
spend the rest of our lives
ignoring each other.
- Did Tara actually see
you go into the cellar?
- Why?
- Brett, what do you think of these?
- Cool, what are they?
- My new telescopic glasses.
- Great.
- You know tomorrow at dawn
there is a very rare chance
to see the constellation
of signus and ursa minor.
Hasn't happened since 1658.
- Sounds cool.
- You know I should be out in
a field somewhere to watch it
but I can't go outside at
night without getting caught.
- That's bad luck.
Hang on, I know a way.
- Out of the school at night?
- It's a beauty.
In fact, I think it might
solve all our problems.
- Ugh
- Hannah, you have to come tonight.
- Well, I promised Tara I wouldn't.
She's being so great to me.
I'm not gonna let her down.
- Come on, how often is it
you get to see a famous star
right in front of your eyes?
- It would be pretty exciting.
- [Brett] And even Tara would
think stars are important.
- But what if she catches me?
- Just wait till she's sleeping.
Then sneak out like you used to.
Think about it.
I'll wait for you in the usual place.
(mysterious music)
- Tara.
I didn't know you were here.
- Yes, I'm having an early night.
- Oh, but lights out isn't
for another half an hour.
- Oh, I'm absolutely exhausted.
(yawning)
I'm practically falling asleep as it is.
- Well, I'll try and be
quiet when I go to bed.
- Oh, be as loud as you like.
A herd of wild elephants
won't wake me tonight.
This had better be worth it, Hannah.
- [Brett] Hey, there's signus.
And that's ursa minor.
- Amazing, aren't they?
- Hannah?
Brett?
- Tara.
- What's going on?
Where's the celebrity you're
supposed to be meeting?
- Celebrity?
- Don't act innocent.
I overheard you talking
about the famous star you're going to see.
- You told her about our stargazing?
- No, honest I didn't tell her anything.
- I know everything that Hannah,
did you say stargazing?
You expect me to believe
that you two come here before dawn alone
to share a deep love of astronomy?
- Well, we're not alone.
- You finished with the telescope, Brett?
- Yeah mate.
I cannot figure out which
is signus or ursa minor.
Hi Tara, you come to
join the astronomy club?
- That's it, Hannah,
I'm gonna find a new person to make over,
someone who will really appreciate
what I can do for them.
- You did it.
- We did it.
And I think after all that stress,
a nice relaxing day at
the beach is called for.
- I know just the portal
that can get us there in a flash.
- Hey, maybe we should invite Tara.
- Don't even think about it.
(upbeat music)