Magnum, P.I. (1980) s01e16 Episode Script

- $500? - It's called an attention-getter.
I'm a private investigator.
I don't play games.
Some wives drink, some take lovers.
I play.
I hold you responsible for everything that's happened.
You think she'd risk dying? She would risk anything to keep the game going.
You shot them.
Are they- They're dead.
Of course, darling.
All dealers get it eventually.
And so will we.
Someday.
Well, what are we going to do now? Bury them under some dead brush and set them on fire.
You take the car.
I'll meet you back at the club.
Is she always like this? because he didn't have to do any real acting.
And for the rental of the plane.
Thank you very much, gentlemen.
When she went for the gun- I mean, I knew it was a gag- but for one second, I didn't think she was acting.
This morning was like any other on Oahu.
A beautiful woman named Christie Odebolt had hired me to, uh, play games with her sister Louise.
She said games.
I would have said helping a rich girl live out her fantasies.
Okay, so it wasn't like any other morning, but one has to be ready to expect the unexpected.
At any rate, I wasn't gonna let it affect my workout.
Hi, guys.
I'm afraid I've opened it by mistake.
My assumption, of course, was that Mable Dodge sent it over as a thank-you for our lunch.
Mable Dodge.
She's the designer who's doing over the guesthouse.
I'd never seen a black orchid before, although technically they can't exist, you know.
The box doesn't have the florist's name on it, and the card doesn't reveal a thing.
- Higgins, you opened it, and you read my card.
- How else could I have known who it was for? "The Black Orchid''? Whoever can that be? Higgins, the orchid was just a joke.
Rick and T.
C.
Why don't you take it back into the house? I don't think I've ever encountered a Rolls of that vintage in the Islands.
It's simply impeccable.
Terrific.
Why don't you take the orchid back into the house, Higgins? I'd like to meet the owner, if you don't mind.
Which of you is Thomas Magnum, the famous private investigator? I'm the Black Orchid.
I say, you're who? - Who is this little man? - Well, he sort of runs things around here.
Higgins, I'd like you to meet Orchid.
He was just admiring your Rolls.
He's an expert on classic and antique cars.
Isn't that right, Higgins? Well, yes.
I have been consulted on the restoration of rare automobiles.
Would you have a light? No, I'm sorry, I don't.
In fact, the Hawaiian Antique Motorcar Society asked me to present a paper on the proper restoration of vehicles that have been exposed to salt air.
It really can be quite devastating.
Right.
And he would like to take a look at your Rolls while we have our little chat.
Well, it's really just another car.
Are you Mr.
Magnum's assistant? I say, it's a 1936, Gurney Nutting Sedanca Coupé, isn't it? Extraordinary.
Uh, would you mind lifting the bonnet? Mr.
Magnum, I am desperate for help.
Someone is trying to kill me, and I'm terrified.
Do you know who? I can't tell you.
Or why? Please don't ask me that.
Well, what about how, Miss DeBolt, or is that a secret too? Of course it's not a secret.
What did you call me? You just called me Miss DeBolt.
Of course.
Because that's who you are.
Magnum, darling.
You don't understand.
This isn't how we play.
First of all, the clothes are all wrong.
It should be a double-breasted gabardine and a hat with a snap brim, and secondly, why couldn't we have met in your office? Everybody knows that private investigators work out of seedy buildings and their names are on the doors with frosted glass.
- Louise, will you calm down? - And you do not know my name since we have only just met and my identity is a secret.
That is why I sent the black orchid.
Now, Magnum, shall we try it one more time? Mr.
Magnum.
Thomas Magnum, the famous private investigator? At your service.
You look like a dame- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Let me try it again.
I'll do it right.
At your service.
You look like a dame in big trouble.
Do you know who I am? You could only be the Black Orchid.
I'd know you anywhere by your perfume.
Do you have a light? No.
No.
Of course not.
Do you know that ever since you've taken my case, I have felt so protected and so safe for the first time that I know that the man with one ear will be foiled.
The one-eared man? Oh, you remember.
The one who's vowed vengeance on me because I rejected his romantic advances.
Sure, baby.
Sure.
It just slipped my mind.
That's all.
That's because I'm on guard, expecting an attack.
And because the touch of my hand drives you crazy.
What? I feel it too.
It's the electricity, the chemistry between us.
It's overwhelming, it's overpowering, crushing us together.
I don't think you realize how vulnerable we really are.
Rick and T.
C.
I mean the one-eyed man.
The one-eared man.
What? The one-eared man.
The one-eared man.
Of course.
I know you're fighting your code of honor, but this feeling's just too intense.
You can't help yourself and I can't resist.
- No! - Rick, make it look good.
Save me! Please, save me! I've got to save the Black Orchid.
Louise, get the car.
Oh, never.
I'll never leave you, my darling.
Yes.
T.
C.
, it's too hard.
Give up, or I'll set her loose on ya.
Give up, or I'll- I give up! Don't kill me! Don't kill me! You were wonderful.
! Oh.
You were wonderful.
My hero.
I know what you're thinking.
After the phony beach attack, I should have said good-bye to Louise and meant it.
But you know something? I was starting to have a good time.
Maybe she wasn't the only one who had fantasies about famous detectives who were heroes.
Magnum, I do hope you're not going to be underfoot while the renovations are going on.
Renovations? You said something about a little paint to freshen up the place.
Basically, that's all we're doing.
While you were swimming, Rick called.
"Basically''? Something about the woman in the alleyway last night.
What about her? He said to tell you it was the wife of Wyndom Jackson.
You know, now that I think of it, that mysterious woman yesterday- Orchid, you said her name was.
It was difficult to tell through the black veil, but she could have been Wyndom Jackson's wife.
Of course, we've never been properly introduced, but once at the garden club cotillion when I chaired the entertainment committee, she was chairing the dance committee- Oh, well.
It's not important.
When Christie hired me to play games with Louise, she'd conveniently used her sister's maiden name.
She knew if she told me who Louise was married to, I wouldn't have anything to do with her.
Even at triple my normal rate.
Wyndom Jackson was notorious for two things- his money and his temper.
The first he'd picked up after the war by investing in property.
The temper I guess he was born with.
He was known as a man who always got his way, no matter what it cost or who.
Hello? Anybody there? Hello? Magnum? Well, I'm surprised to see you here.
I'll bet you are.
Where's Louise? Out riding.
She won't be back until after lunch.
Is something wrong? Plenty.
Starting with who your sister really is.
Oh.
Apparently that makes a difference to you.
Uh, married makes a difference.
Married to Wyndom Jackson makes a real big difference.
I can explain that.
Don't bother.
'Cause this is gonna take about 10 seconds.
I'm off the case.
You can mail me my fee.
For my own curiosity, Magnum, is it morality or economics? Are you so angry because Louise has a husband or because he's one of the Islands' five richest men? Both.
And I sure as hell wouldn't play war games in an alley with Wyndom Jackson's wife.
Why not, Magnum? Are you a reverse snob? No.
Because the stakes are too high with your crowd, and things go wrong.
And people like you don't pay the bills, and people like me get stuck.
Are you afraid? I'm afraid of a lot of things.
I'm afraid of hurting my friends who helped me stage the attack.
What if Jackson finds out and he doesn't like that particular game? He'd run them down without even looking back.
Are you so confident he doesn't know about Louise's penchant for drama? Oh, come on.
That's the whole idea of the games, isn't it? To keep Louise occupied and out of public trouble? The spoiled wife of a man old enough to be her father.
Magnum.
It's not a very original story, is it? No.
Wyndom worships my sister.
Louise has always been extremely high-strung and vital.
Lately it's become like a narcotic.
She needs more and more excitement.
Well, she's bored.
She feels neglected.
And she's becoming reckless.
Magnum, I do apologize.
It's just that I care very, very much about my sister.
Christie, your sister is not crazy.
She just wants a little excitement in her life.
Will you keep that appointment today? No games.
I'll just talk to her.
And after today, it's finished.
Okay.
I'll try to prepare her.
Frankly, I don't know how she'll take it.
You just remember no more games.
Whose Ferrari was that? I damn near hit him.
Oh.
Just a friend I met at the club.
Some car, hmm? Never mind the car.
Who's the driver? Somebody I do not intend to let get away.
A friend of yours or Louise's? He's mine.
Come on.
Lunch is ready.
And I want to hear all about what happened at the board meeting.
I know what you're thinking.
I could have just as easily picked up a phone and laid it out.
I could tell Louise it was over.
No more meetings or games.
I guess I just preferred to do things one on one.
Hello, Thomas.
Tell me, will it be cold roast beef or turkey? I understand.
I really do understand.
They're going to be here very soon, Thomas.
They want that emerald.
Louise.
The Montezuma Emerald.
I know they- Louise, don't you know? There aren't gonna be any bad guys.
No games.
What? This is good-bye.
Aren't you having a good time? Louise, you are going to have to get a hold of reality.
Don't talk to me about reality.
I have tried it, and I find it vastly overrated.
Is that why you married Jackson? When are you going to learn your lines? Come on, Louise.
You want reality, I'll give you reality.
My father was a minister, here in the Islands, of a very fashionable, fashionable church.
Mind you, that doesn't mean the pastor has money-just the flock.
But we all became very good at pretending we had it- had it all.
Especially me.
So I decided then and there that when I grew up, I was going to be an actress.
I was doing such a good job with the congregation, imagine- just imagine what I could do in Hollywood.
What happened? I met Wyndom.
His wife had just died, and he was looking for someone.
A companion.
Someone to share his interests, his life.
His money? You are a tough one when you want to be, Magnum.
Would it make a bit of difference to you if I told you that the money didn't matter? Oh, you're gonna tell me that you really love him and you do all this just to please him.
One day, I was out riding one of Wyndom's horses.
It started to rain, the horse slipped, and I ended up on my back for six weeks.
And needless to say, Wyndom felt very responsible.
So he brought me into his home and he took care of me.
Everybody in these Islands think of him as a rough, tough son of a gun.
- But not you.
- No, not me.
He brought me my meals.
He would read to me.
And I told him about wanting to be an actress.
And so we would even play out little scenes.
Then eventually we started writing our own scenes- or games, if that's what you want to call them.
jackson played games? Oh, he was terrible at it.
So bad, in fact, that right before I was getting ready to leave, he asked me to marry him.
And I thought it was one of his games.
And you said yes.
And then this rough, tough, son of a gun started to cry.
No one's ever loved me like that, Magnum.
I will never, ever do anything to hurt him.
That's reality.
Some wives drink, some take lovers.
I play.
Hold it.
You're in trouble, Mr.
Magnum.
Ooh! You just don't give up, do you, Louise? Hi.
That's it.
Do you have any idea what a windshield costs on a car like that? Oh, my God.
Get a- I am not paying for that windshield! Get- No.
Louise, get the car! Come on.
Come on.
Go, go.
Watch the steps.
Ooh.
Where's the table? Oh, my gosh.
Oh, dear.
Oh.
Come on.
Careful, careful, careful, careful.
Poor darling.
Oh, dear.
What can I get you? Anything? Some ice.
Ice.
You have ice.
A towel for the ice.
Towel.
Where's the towel? In the bathroom.
Where's the bathroom? In the- You go through the door- Shh.
Shh.
Don't say another word.
I'll find it.
Don't- Don't move.
Red.
Re- Ow.
Red? They painted it red! What have you done to the Ferrari? Do you have any idea what a windscreen costs? Higgins, the walls are red.
Hot tropical magenta, to be precise.
Mable Dodge's trendiest color this season.
You said "subtle changes.
'' You said "imperceptible changes.
'' Obviously this is not a moment for rational conversation.
It appears you've been beaten up again.
We'll talk in the morning.
Higgins, you promised! Red.
Magenta.
Oh.
Ooh.
Careful.
Careful.
Oh! Ah.
There.
You were wonderful.
You were terrific.
You were so masterful, the way you took their punches.
Louise, I got beat up.
Everything they threw at you and back for more.
Louise, this was not a damn game.
Your hiring them was perfect.
I didn't hire them.
You don't know how to play the game.
No.
I- If you and your sister didn't hire these guys, then somebody's after you for real.
Besides, it's too late to be playing.
Good night.
Louise.
Oh.
Wait.
Now, you listen to me.
If you take one step out of this house, there's not a damn thing I can do to protect ya.
I'm just too beat.
But I swear to you, if the guys who are after you don't get ya, then I'm gonna beat the hell out of you myself when I catch ya.
You really mean that, don't you? Every word.
You know, Thomas, in some ways, I like this game much better.
That's terrific, sweetheart.
Oh.
You were wonderful.
Ah! Magnum, where do you keep the coffee? Magnum.
The marvels of modern technology.
Mmm.
Coffee.
Coffee.
Louise.
Oh, good morning, darlings.
Louise.
What have you been doing here all night? Taking care of Magnum, of course.
Magnum, would you come out here, please? Louise, please.
Right now I just want to kill you.
When I find out what went on here last night, maybe I will.
You're Louise's husband.
Well, before you get too busy making threats- I don't feel so well.
Louise, not now.
- I think I'm sick.
- Louise, I am trying to make your husband understand about the guys at the beach.
jackson.
Louise.
This time she's not acting.
She's really sick.
Call the doctor.
Quickly.
Louise, calm down.
Come on.
Relax now.
This is an emergency.
Calm down.
Come on.
Just relax.
How is she? She's out of danger, but she's feeling pretty uncomfortable.
Wyndom is with her now, but he'll be out shortly.
And I'd advise you to be out of here.
No.
Not till I find out what's going on.
It's pretty obvious.
She took poison.
What makes you think she took it? It's the only logical answer.
Unless you gave it to her.
Quite frankly, I don't think you're the type to do that.
Christie, two guys beat me up yesterday, and now your sister almost dies of poisoning.
Somebody's out to get her.
Come on, Magnum, darling.
You provoked her.
You told her you were no longer playing the game, right? What's that have to do with her poisoning? She took poison, you saved her and here you are.
The game is still going on.
Oh, come on.
You think she'd risk dying? She would risk anything to keep the game going, and you know it.
I'd better go back in.
And, Magnum, I meant it about not being here when Wyndom comes out.
Dr.
Mort Levy, please report to surgery.
Dr.
Mort Levy, please report to surgery.
What Christie was saying made sense in my head.
But in my gut, it felt all wrong.
I didn't believe Louise would poison herself and hire those thugs, but then I was still feeling a little fuzzy, so I decided to let the episode rest until I got some sleep and cleared my head.
I should have known better.
Higgins.
Higgins- What is that? Ah.
Awake, I see.
Why would I be awake? Stunning, isn't it? Mable Dodge is mad for this sculptor.
Reflecting native Hawaiian themes in a modern idiom.
Higgins, that is terrible.
And I hate that! Higgins, I want it down.
I want it all down.
I want you and Marble Arch- Mable Dodge.
Whatever her name is.
I want you and her out.
Since you weren't up to driving today, I took the liberty of putting it in the shop.
Higgins, this bill is for- Taking the old windscreen out, installing the new one, plus the unit cost itself.
- But this is- - Simply staggering.
But I can hardly make a claim on Robin Masters's insurance, can I? Later that afternoon, a messenger delivered a letter from Christie firing me and enclosing my fee, which, coincidentally, was almost enough to pay for the windshield.
I'm not saying that Higgins was eager for the money, but he did stand over me while I endorsed the check.
That's what really made me mad.
It's bad enough to be beaten up, but it's downright humiliating to pay for the damages yourself.
Nurse Barrow, station three, six west.
Nurse Barrow, station three, six west.
Magnum.
I assumed you got my letter.
I did.
There's just, uh, one little outstanding item.
A windscreen? It's Louise who plays games, not me.
Maybe she plays them, but you seem to pick up the tabs.
By the way, how much did the guys with the ski masks cost? I didn't hire those thugs.
Well, somebody sure did.
And if it wasn't you, it had to be Louise.
Or Jackson.
One way or another, I'm gonna find out.
We're taking Louise home.
She recovered? That fast? - The hospital's been upsetting her.
- Well, the poison in the coffee didn't help much.
Magnum, I would never cut you out if I thought that somebody was poisoning Louise other than Louise herself.
What if I don't believe you? Then I suggest you ask Louise.
Magnum.
Thank you for saving my life.
I meant to thank you before, but I'm afraid I lost consciousness.
Christie, take Louise down to the car.
No.
Wait, please.
Magnum, maybe you think you saved Louise's life and I should be grateful, but you're wrong, because I really hold you responsible for everything that's happened.
Stop it, both of you, please.
You know, I don't know who beat me up or who's after her or why, but somebody poisoned her.
I poisoned myself.
I put the poison in the thermos the night before as part of the game.
To take if you wouldn't continue.
And the next morning, when it was obvious that you weren't going on with it, I took it.
But believe me, Magnum, I would never have let you take any of it.
But I took it.
And I'm ashamed.
Please take me home.
I'm sorry.
You promise to leave the living room exactly as it is and stay away until Mable Dodge has redecorated the bedroom? Whatever you want.
Now what can you tell me about the poison she took? She was very fortunate to reach the hospital so quickly.
The poison Louise ingested is particularly vicious, because unless counteracted quickly, it's virtually impossible to reverse its destructive processes.
Like, uh, breathing carbon monoxide.
Even when pure oxygen is administered, the victim's red blood cells are already so damaged that- Are you saying she wasn't kidding about this? If Louise Jackson swallowed that poison deliberately, she was either an ignorant fool or a woman determined to take her own life.
Louise may be a little offbeat, but she wasn't suicidal.
And death would have been a sure bet if she'd taken the coffee on schedule.
At the beach, miles from nowhere.
Too far from any medical attention.
Someone was trying to kill her, and she was lying to protect whoever it was.
And there could only be two people for whom she'd do that.
Her husband and her sister.
Hold it.
Hold it.
That's enough.
All right, get out.
He works for you.
Not anymore.
You just gave him his termination notice.
- You sent those guys to beat me up.
- Yes.
Yes, I did.
Now just wait one minute.
Do you think you can just admit you sent those goons after me and then just walk away? I don't believe you people.
You're just incredible.
I didn't mean to have anything happen to you.
I was just trying to scare you.
I'm sorry they got carried away.
Now, if that's not good enough for you, we can fight.
You're younger than I am and stronger maybe, so you'd probably win.
But I'm richer than you are, so in the end I'll beat you.
Now, why don't you just accept my apology? Did you do this 'cause of Louise's game? I was afraid- I was afraid she was beginning to care for you.
And I couldn't stand that, you see.
If she left- Afraid enough to kill her? Hey, I love Louise very much.
Maybe I do hold on too tight.
Maybe.
But I'd never hurt her.
And I'd never let anything happen to her.
That's funny.
That's exactly what Christie said.
Christie's a wonderful girl.
If it wasn't for her, I never would have met Louise.
Wait a minute.
Christie introduced you to Louise? Yes.
Christie was my secretary.
She worked in my office in my home.
We were very close.
Louise used to come by and pick her up, and once in a while she'd take one of my horses out for a ride.
She had an accident.
She told me.
You know, I never met a woman with such spirit.
I was beginning to feel old.
But when she came into my home to recover, suddenly I had a whole new chance.
I could never even think of her ever leaving.
Mr.
Jackson, she really does care for you.
There's absolutely nothing between us.
Christie and Louise, where are they? Gone for a drive, I guess.
Well, where'd they go for a drive? Do they have any special spot? Any favorite spot? Anything? Not to my knowledge.
- Magnum, what's on your mind? - Christie poisoned Louise.
Oh, come on.
That was just another game.
It's just another game, Mr.
Jackson, but this time it's Christie's little game.
Where can we find 'em? Well, sometimes they drive out to the other end of the island.
To an old landing strip.
I still own it.
Come on.
Do you think it's going to work, Christie? It'll be the most exciting game so far.
I assure you.
You poisoned the coffee, didn't you, Christie? I didn't know if it was you or Wyndom.
You covered for me.
That was noble.
But coming up here with me, that was stupid.
I had to find out, didn't I? Why, Christie? Why? I love you.
I've always tried to give you everything.
Give? Give? All you've done your whole life is take.
You go crashing through life knowing that somebody's going to look out for you.
That's not true.
It's always been the two of us.
You took Wyndom from me, didn't you? Didn't you? Oh.
Oh.
Oh, Christie.
Wyndom is very fond of you, but you are deceiving yourself.
He would have loved me.
It just needed time.
just a little more time and he would have loved me.
But you came crashing in, and you took him from me.
Christie.
So beautiful, so vital, so much imagination.
Killing me isn't going to make him love you.
This time you're gonna die playing one of your little games.
This time the dope dealers are using real bullets, sister darling! Christie, come back! No! Christie! No! Stop! Stop! Where is she, Christie? Where's Louise? Where is she? She's back in there, Wyndom, playing another one of her little games.
Another game, Christie? Like the poison in the coffee? Louise.
Louise.
Louise.
Take that way.
Hicks! Oh- Louise.
Louise.
jackson? - Louise.
- jackson.
Oh, Jackson! It's all right, Louise.
jackson! Hold it! You're hurt, dear! He's been hit.
You all right? Okay.
You stay with him.
I'm going after Christie.
Wait a minute.
Magnum.
Leave her alone.
What? Let me handle this my way.
I have just about had all I can take with your versión of reality-both of you.
You're rich, you're spoiled and you-you try and twist life around your finger like it was gum.
And she's my sister, Tom.
And no matter what she did, I can't forget that.
- She's my sister.
- Magnum, please.
Let me settle with- with Christie.
On one condition.
The games stop.
Okay, I promise.
No more games.
No more games.
It's only for a few days, until after the photographic sessión.
Hey, Higgins, no problem.
No problem at all.
Well, I must say you're being very decent about all this, old boy.
Uh, Magnum- Look, Higgins, why should I have a problem? jackson and Louise are going to the mainland for two weeks on a second honeymoon, and they've hired me to stay at their house.
It's a security check.
I'm sure you know about that.
It's a wonderful place, Higgins.
Thirty rooms.
A staff of six.
Oh, did I tell you about Jackson’s yacht? They hired you? Now let's get this straight, Higgins.
I want fresh, white paint on the walls and the furniture cleaned because of dirt from storage.
I'll see you around, Higgins.
Give my love to Mable Dodge, whoever she may be.
Are you Mable Dodge? Yes, Magnum.
This is Mable Dodge.
She of the magenta walls.
I love your work.