Malibu Country (2012) s01e16 Episode Script

Reba.
Reba.
- Reba! - Aah! Mama, what are you doing?! Have you been out here all night? I guess I have.
Did you have some wine? Wine? No.
You've been out here worrying again, haven't you? Oh, of course I have.
I mean, I drove the kids all the way across the country, away from their dad and everything they've ever known, and on top of that, I pinned my hopes on restarting my music career.
'Cause if there's one thing the entertainment industry loves, it's a woman past her prime.
Ooh.
Now, baby, I don't like to hear that talk.
Well you had to get your family out of Nashville, after the way that cheating dog made a fool of you.
Well, he didn't make a fool out of me, mama.
Honey, he made you look like an ass.
And your children should not have to hear the awful things people were saying.
They probably shouldn't hear half the awful things I say.
I don't know.
I just Everything's so strange out here.
Well Hold that thought.
It's that narcissistic seagull.
He's mean, he's bad luck, and you cannot eat fries around him.
Mama.
Mama, quit wavin' that thing around.
No, oh.
Hold on.
Mama, stop it.
You're steppin' outside of your realm.
Give it to.
Give it to me.
I'll make you think realm.
Have you lost your mind? Go ahead.
Walkin' with my head high soakin' up the sunshine la-la-la-la-la, life is sweet Hey, June, hurry up.
Don't want you to be late for school.
Okay, mom.
I'm just trying on some outfits.
Hey, Mrs.
Mackenzie.
What's going on here? Excuse me.
I'm changing.
This is not acceptable.
Jeez, mom, relax.
I knew you'd be mad if I had a boy in my room with the door closed, so I left it open.
Well, how 'bout let's get rid of the boy, and close the door.
Lookie there! I solved it.
I just wanted Sage's opinion on what I should wear.
'Cause I'm from Malibu, and I know how people dress.
You got me there.
Come here.
Ow! That hurts! I like that shirt.
And stay out of her room! Oh, hey, Reba.
Hope you don't mind, but I brought in your paper.
I'm just gonna save this for later.
What are you doing here? You don't live here.
Well, I know how sensitive you are to June being around Sage, so I decided to come as his chaperone.
Really? Well, they were upstairs in her bedroom.
She was trying on clothes for him.
Yeah, I'm not saying I didn't lose track of them.
Okay, look, Kim, I really don't have time right now.
I have to get to Mr.
bata's office to see if his assistant has listened to my song.
Hmm.
Working your way down the ladder.
That's an interesting choice.
Listen, well, I'm gonna be doing a 10k for cancer, and I think it would be super great if you donated.
Gee, I don't know.
Oh, no, don't worry about the name.
See, we are actually against cancer.
So how much do you people usually give around here? Well, it's usually only five a mile, and there's just six miles.
Oh, well, great.
Yeah.
Put me down for five.
I really gotta go.
Great.
You go.
I'm gonna stay here and keep an eye on those kids.
Sage, get your butt down here! Guess who's here again.
Wait.
Don't tell me.
You have an accent.
Is it the queen of england? Ha ha.
Have you listened to my song yet? I did.
I like it.
Fantastic! Are you gonna give it to Mr.
Bata? Ooh, of course not.
Your song is good, but it's not great.
It's missing something.
Okay.
What's missing? I don't know what it's missing.
I mean, it's missing.
You gotta bring something to the party, too, mami.
Ay, fine.
Since I have to do all the work It's missing you.
Me? It's all about me.
No, the song is about the strong you.
I wanna hear about the vulnerable you.
I'm not following you.
- Okay.
My family is Puerto Rican.
- Mm-hmm.
Uh, it's a very macho culture.
I've been in Los Angeles seven years.
Every year, my mom asks to come visit me, and every year, I make an excuse why she can't.
Ah.
She doesn't know you're gay.
Really? She doesn't know I'm gay? Okay, so she knows you're gay.
How come you won't let her come here and see how you live? Because she took an extra job just to put me through college so I could be a success.
She thinks I'm him.
Oh.
Oh.
- Well, you can be.
- I know.
And I'm gonna be, but I'm not yet.
See, mami? That moved you, because I was letting you in on something real.
That's what you need to put into your songs.
- I can do that.
I can be vulnerable.
- Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I got pain.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I can do that.
I mean, I just need to I just wanna tell people Are you trying to cry? Yeah.
It's a lot harder than you think.
I've got nothing ugh! Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing! Nothing at all! Ugh! Ooh.
Mom, that's a beautiful song.
What do you want? I mean, I just think you're so talented and cool.
Oh, my gosh, and you're my mom.
- Like, how lucky am I? - Mm-hmm.
Your luck's about to run out.
All right, spill the beans.
What do you want? Well, my school's having this big clothing drive, - and I wanted to contribute.
- Yeah.
So I took all my old ones, 'cause you just bought me a bunch of new ones.
Yeah, I did.
What's the problem? They rejected my old clothes.
What?! Yeah, they said they weren't up to the Malibu clothing drive standards.
Honey, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
So I gave 'em all my new ones.
Except now.
Don't be mad.
Don't be mad? Cash, you don't do something like that.
That's just like giving money away.
What were you thinkin'? I was thinkin' I wanna fit in.
I was thinkin' I was embarrassed, and I just wanted to get out of it.
I was thinkin' that I'm tired of not knowing the rules.
Okay.
All right.
I understand.
Okay.
We'll think of something, okay? "If we had to go somewhere, Malibu ain't bad.
" Yes? Hi, I'm Leslie.
I'm Kim's husband.
Oh! Nice to meet you.
Come on in.
Thank you.
At least one of you knocks on the door.
Yeah, that's my Kimmy.
You want her to come into a room, put up a sign that says "do not enter".
Listen, I don't wanna waste your time, but I just came by to pick up the check for the 10k against cancer run.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got it right here for you.
There you go.
You are so funny.
How so? - Well, you pledged 5.
- Yeah.
"5" means $500, so you actually agreed to give $3,000? Yeah.
You realize I can't afford that? - Yeah, I was starting to get the feeling.
- Yeah.
So what are we gonna do? I mean, obviously, Kim didn't explain things to you, so why don't I just cover the rest of your donation? Oh, I can't allow you to do that.
We don't take charity.
You won't take charity if it's actually going to a charity? Okay, since you put it that way, thank you very much.
I'm happy to do it.
The least I can do for the new neighbor.
Well, thank you.
And they say money can't buy happiness, but you just did.
I know.
People around here are a little crazy about the charities and their over-the-top donations, but they come from a good place A good place that God occasionally hits with a mudslide.
Great.
Something else for me to worry about.
You know, you're the most normal man I've met since I've been out here.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
All righty then.
Oh.
Thank God you're home.
Where have you been? Oh.
The beach.
Okay.
Well, listen, I gotta tell you something.
The nude beach.
Mama, why on earth did you go to a nude beach? Well, I didn't know it was one at first.
You know my vision is not what it used to be.
And I started talking to the nicest gentleman, who was wearing beige trunks.
Turns out he wasn't wearing trunks.
And you would not believe what I thought was a drawstring.
Okay, mama, I really don't wanna talk about that.
Reba, I have burnt the ladies.
If only my brim had been broader.
Now what's on your mind? Oh.
Okay.
Kim's husband kissed me.
Did you lead him on? What?! How could you say that? Of course not! Well, you're divorced, hard up.
There's a dangerous storm brewing under that uptight schoolmarm vibe.
Men can sense that.
Otherwise, why would he just kiss you out of the blue? I don't know.
He did kind of pay this, uh, thing for me.
What thing? $3,000 thing.
Nice.
Back in Tennessee in my day, they thought they just had to buy me dinner.
Turns out most of the time, they were right.
Mama, what am I gonna do? Well, you're a good person.
You know what to do.
Reba Nell, you've got to tell Kim.
Crap.
I hate being the good person! Just for once, I'd like to be the bad person! Excuse me.
I don't mean to barge in, but I could see ya.
You'd be really hard to sneak up on.
Hey, Mrs.
mackenzie.
I was just telling Kim what happened.
Yes.
And we have decided that this little monkey is gonna try very, very hard to remember to stay out of miss June's bedroom.
Well, I'm gonna try very, very hard to help that little monkey remember.
Here's your earring.
I'm just gonna go to my room.
Okay.
Listen, Kim, I didn't come over here about Sage.
I have a delicate matter to talk to you about, and I really don't know how to do it.
Well, I could start guessing what's going wrong with your body, but I think that would hurt your feelings.
It's not about my body.
Okay.
I understand.
Conversation for another time.
So what is it you want to talk to me about? Come on.
Can't be that bad.
Okay.
Well, today, um Leslie came over for the check.
Uh-huh.
Um He, uh He sort of kissed me.
That's Fantastic news! Oh! I knew he'd like you! Wait, I just tell you that your husband kissed me, and you're not stunned? The chair is stunned! The lamp is stunned! How come you're not stunned? Reba, I recently proposed a little something to Leslie I said, "what if we see other people, as long as we tell each other?" You said that? 'Cause that sounds like a guy talking.
Have I ever told you how Leslie and I met? It was at his second wedding.
I just thought he was so handsome.
But then three years later, that marriage broke up, just like his first marriage broke up after three years.
Let me guess you're coming up on three years? Yes.
He's got the 3-year itch.
You know, that's not a thing.
And this way, he's not cheating, he's just seeing other people.
In other words, cheating.
No, no.
Only if I don't know about it.
And that really doesn't bother you? - Can I be honest? - Yeah.
You know, after three years of marriage, sometimes I'm like "Let somebody else take that bullet.
" Lovely.
Lovely.
Doesn't him kissing me strike you as just a little weird? No.
I take it as a compliment.
'Cause he's attracted to our type You know, strong, intellectual Maybe a little bit naughty.
Ugh.
Okay.
All right.
That's weird.
That's weird.
Oh, all right, Reba, I am getting this weird sense that maybe this is making you a little uncomfortable.
Ho ho, good.
'Cause I thought I was being too subtle.
Okay.
How 'bout we take this whole Reba-kissed-Leslie thing off the table? You know, we could just start all over.
Go have lunch.
Oh, no.
Absolutely not.
Why? Do you have other plans? Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm planning to build a huge wall between the two houses to keep you away from me.
I'm gonna call it the great wall of Reba! She's never gonna get a permit to build that wall.
Grandma, do you wanna maybe not blow air down your shirt? You're you're creeping me out a little.
Oh, baby, I'd love to sit down, but right now, my bosom berries are so mad at me.
Excuse me.
Mom, can you please have a seat? Why? We need to have an intervention.
An attitude intervention.
Now sit down, please.
I feel some nonsense coming on, so I'll just stand here, okay? That's not how it's done.
- Mom, you can stand.
- No, she can't stand.
- Yes, she can.
Yes, she can.
- That's not how it no! She This is already way off track.
Mom, you upended my life when we moved out here, and I need help fitting in.
So when you kicked Sage out of my room, you embarrassed me.
And when you tell me to go and get back the clothes I already donated, it embarrasses me.
Oh, uh, I also had some other stuff that I forgot.
But that's the main thing embarrassed.
What we're trying to say here is that you're resistant to everything that's Malibu.
You're stull stuck back in Nashville.
And it's not just hurting you.
It's hurting all of us.
You know, that was eloquent, Cash.
Can I speak now? Yes.
You have the floor.
Go to your rooms.
What? I don't care if we're livin' in Malibu, Nashville, or on the moon.
You are my kids and you're gonna live by my values.
You will not have a boy in your room, and you will not waste money by giving away new clothes.
Now get upstairs and think about it.
She flipped the intervention on us.
Shh.
Hey, you're mean, mom.
Oh, I'm mean! I sure am! I'm mean, and I am angry at you! Oh.
Oh, that was good, baby, even though I have embraced Malibu.
You were right to stand up for your values.
Well, you taught me well, mama.
Despite the fact that we're livin' out here in la-la land, I have to stick to my guns.
That's why I drew the line, and we'll never see those crazy neighbors again.
Howdy, neighbor.
Heh.
You're on your own, baby.
Reba, I really need to talk to you.
All this tension, I just can't take it.
It's been torture.
It's been seven minutes.
So you've been counting, too? Okay, Kim, look I don't want to discuss this anymore.
You think I want this? You think that I want my husband to see someone else? I know this arrangement that I have with Leslie may seem a little bizarre.
But, Reba, I suggested it because I love my life, and I don't want to lose it.
I mean, don't you miss your old life? Well, of course I do, but it's not the same thing.
My husband cheated on me with another woman.
Trust me, you do not want that.
I lay in bed at night, and I think about how it used to be What I had Just forget it.
Oh, my gosh.
Reba, are you crying? Yeah.
I'm letting you in.
It's ugly, but this is the real me.
Oh, no, Reba, it's not ugly.
I mean, I admit, I did think you'd look cuter when you cried, but The point is, Kim, I don't want you to feel what I feel.
Of course you would have the great house and the Malibu lifestyle, but you'd be missin' out on the most important thing Trust.
No, but see, I would trust him, because he would have been honest with me.
No.
Just because he's honest about seeing somebody else doesn't mean you can trust him.
See, 'cause trust is knowing that you're the only one, he'll always be there for you.
All that would be gone.
I don't want that kind of marriage.
I don't think you do, either.
I know.
I don't.
I'm just so afraid of losing everything.
I mean, I'm not strong like you, Reba.
Aw you know, I don't wanna say good-bye to all this.
You make "good-bye" seem so easy, you know? "Good-bye" just looks good on you.
Ohh Ohh.
What? - That's good.
That's good.
- What? I've been looking for a thing for this song, and that's exactly what I needed.
"On me.
" And my pain has inspired you? Kind of.
Yeah.
Aah! I am so proud.
You know what? We could collaborate on this stuff, because I have tons of pain tons of it.
- I'm gonna go get my journal.
- Okay.
I'm tying up every little loose string puttin' on my blue jeans lipstick in my holster kickin' your memory's gonna be easy you can't stop me, no, sir, no way I don't really need him I got wheels of freedom and that's why goodbye looks so good on me goodbye looks good on me, goodbye looks good on me goodbye looks good on me I love it.
I love Reba's new song.
And just think I was the inspiration.
I don't want you to worry.
I'm not gonna sure for credit.
I think that she's welcome to the contents of my head any time.
Honey, don't you think you ought to keep a little bit of that for yourself? Just a smidge? Okay.
Okay.
Tell me, how is "sort of" married life? What does that mean? You know, sort of married.
Whatever you and free Willy are doing over there.
That's off.
- Really? - Yeah.
I had a long talk with Reba, and let me tell you, she is one smart cookie.
She comes from good dough.
She's kind of sneaky smart, though, 'cause she says everything with that accent.
Anyway, turns out Leslie didn't really want to do it.
He didn't want to date other people? No, he didn't want to date Reba.
He thought she was a bit of a tattletale.