Mixed-ish (2019) s01e16 Episode Script

1 And to celebrate! Back on the commune, my family never had to think about money.
But once we got to the real world, it was hard not to always have to think about it.
Okay, raise your glass to your mom, - super attorney - Yes.
To the lady responsible for one of the largest payouts in the history of Jackson & Associates Harrison, you already said this in the office.
I felt like another drink.
Sue me.
Now, to prove that trickle-down economics works here's a bonus.
I'm proud of you, son.
I always wanted to say that.
What? - Trickle, trickle.
- See, kids? This is what happens when you work hard you get rewarded handsomely.
When we were kids, we used to dream about white people handing us money.
I used to have nightmares about black people taking it from me.
Congrats, Mom.
What are you gonna do to celebrate? - Mm-hmm.
- You should get ice cream.
Or a Barbie DreamHouse.
I'll let you leave it in my room.
We did it, Sis.
"We"? Yeah, we! And it turned out the two sides of my family thought about money very differently.
To our bonus.
"Our.
" Oh.
In the mix Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying But they can't stop us 'Cause we got a love That keeps rising up In the mix Life turns around 'Round and 'round it goes Ooh, it's a mixed-up world Ooh, it's a mixed-up And that's for sure Mixed-up In the mix Baby We're gonna get by We're gonna On our own, side by side Love's all we need to be free Lo-o-o-ve is all I got you, you got me Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix Yaaaaay us! I-I-In the mix-ish We always knew Alicia would do big things.
I figured a manager at Montgomery Ward, but a lawyer is even better.
Hmm.
I wonder what I should do with this bonus.
- Hmm.
- We should get solar panels.
Ms.
Collins says all houses will have them by 1990.
I say we buy a boat.
Maybe two, in case the first one gets lonely.
We should save it.
We have to pay for three kids' college tuitions.
- Mm.
- "Luke, I am your father!" - Okay, two kids'.
- Mm-hmm.
Nah, Sis.
You got to buy something flashy so folks know you loaded a diamond necklace, a fur coat, or designer clothes that'll attract a new husband.
Exactly.
But something nice for yourself that reflects our firm's success and my infinite generosity.
You gotta spend money to make money.
- Hmm.
- "Spend money to make money"? What does that even mean? It means, if you invest in yourself, it leads to more money.
But if you spend the money, don't you have less money? Well, it's it's just Oh, shut up, Paul.
Hey, kids, your mom got a bonus for her hard work, and so should you.
Your grades are excellent.
You did great in that pageant.
I love you, buddy.
He said I did good in the pageant, Mom! You know, there is something the whole family could use.
Not the new husband thing, right? - Uh, a car.
- Ah.
.
Yeah.
I wouldn't have to run to meetings all sweaty from catching the bus, and I could be home every night for bedtime.
Well, whatever you decide to get, you deserve it.
I knew this day would come ever since you were a little boy.
Sorry, I always wanted to say that, too.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yes! Even with tax, we have just enough to buy a Nintendo.
I can't wait to rot my brain.
Hey, what's going on here? We're using the money Grandad gave us to buy a Nintendo.
Ah! Nintendo.
It's hard to imagine now, but video games almost disappeared in the Great Video Game Crash of 1983.
But then came Nintendo.
The graphics were better, the sound was better, and this was one thing that united us all.
It didn't matter if we were black, white, green, or purple.
Everyone, including us, was obsessed.
As long as we keep Grandad alive, we'll live like this forever.
I'm sorry, guys, but I can't have you playing some game system you didn't earn.
What?! You're taking it back? Now, listen, we don't just get money.
We have to work hard, and we earn it.
I tell you what.
You can earn your money back if you do some chores around the house.
So we have to do your job to earn money we already got? What kind of commie nonsense is this? Come on, guys.
Dad's right.
Mom earned her bonus, so we should earn our money, too.
It might be hard to understand right now, but earning money feels so amazing.
It's why I'm so happy when I come back from the farmers' market after selling my produce and why Grandad is so happy when someone has a workplace injury.
Well, I'm in.
Fine.
Me too.
All right.
Why does everything have to be a lesson with him? Ah, it's exactly what I was looking for.
Ah, this! This is my dream car.
Well, with this, you'll impress the other lawyers, and you'll be dragging around those rug rats in style.
Well, my bonus is only $10,000, so that's not enough.
Sticker price is eleven-five, but, uh, I can cut you a deal.
You know what? Let's do it.
Hey, Sis! Check this out.
It's very important.
Be right back.
- How good do I look in this car? - Ah! Fresh! You look very sexy in this car, Denise.
Oh, thank you, KITT.
Oh! I'm acting all crazy, and I'm not even the one getting a car.
Folks at work think I'm exaggerating about my badass baby sister, but you are doing it.
Mama and Daddy used to save up for years to get a car.
You're buying your first car off of one bonus check.
It is nice to get rewarded for all that hard work.
Mm.
But I can't lie I would kill to have a new car.
Especially one that doesn't need jumper cables to start or have its check-engine light on.
You should check your engine.
I did, it's still in there.
Listen, if your girl had a car like this, I bet I could get to work on time and earn my own bonus.
Hmm.
Well, it's, uh it's $5,000.
That's a good price, right? You think you could help me out? I really am on thin ice with my boss.
Every morning, I don't know if it's gonna take five minutes or an hour for that old hoopty to start.
I-I don't know.
It is a good deal, but it's still a lot of money, Denise.
Think about it, Sis.
You could be the high tide that lifts both our boats, hmm? Our first car.
This is so exciting.
Well, your mom is about to show you the reward for hard work.
If you put in the effort, good things happen.
This is what hard work gets you? Ooh.
Careful.
Hey, everybody! Hi! Why is it still running? Oh, that's just the, uh the warm-down feature.
That thing smokes more than Ms.
Collins.
So, is our car stylish or what? Definitely "or what"? I thought we were getting a new car.
Well, this is new to us.
Um, kids, why why don't you go back in the house? Dad, you better win this one.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
What do you think? Uh baby, I-I think you got had.
I mean, this is this is what $10,000 gets you? This and a car for Denise.
- Wait.
- Mm-hmm.
When was that part of the plan? Well, since I realized I could be the high tide - that lifts both our boats.
- Uh Look, I know we didn't talk this over, but the way Denise and I were raised was if one of us had a dollar, that just meant we each had 50 cents.
But this is more than a dollar.
This is like a lot of dollars.
This isn't just about the money.
Denise has always been there for me.
I couldn't have made it through law school without her care packages and all of her phone calls, so this was my chance to be there for her.
But a car? I'm telling you, this is just the way black families make sure we all rise together.
I know Mom sounded like a used-car salesman, but she was actually talking about something real.
Since day one in America, black people have had to look out for each other.
Free blacks in the North offered their homes to freed or runaway slaves.
If one black person got a job at a factory, they'd get jobs for their friends and neighbors.
And we threw rent parties so nobody would get evicted.
Without generational wealth, this is how we survived.
And it was the way our family worked, too.
I'm trying to teach the kids that there are no free rides, and you're literally giving Denise a free ride.
She wouldn't ask for help if she didn't need it.
Plus, once she gets everything straightened out, she'll pay us back.
Trust me.
This is just something you don't understand.
Okay.
If you say so.
Want to go for a spin? Sure.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Le Let me help you.
- Ooh.
- Okay, there you go.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Pretty cool, huh? For each chore you accomplish, you'll earn money.
But more importantly, fulfillment.
But definitely money, right? Yes.
And the more chores you do, the more fulfillment you get.
And more money.
You didn't say money that time.
Yes, of course.
Before you know it, you've earned enough money to get that game system you want so bad.
- Make sense? - Totally.
Plus, how hard could this stuff be? You missed a spot! You missed a spot! You missed a spot! Over there, over there! Done.
We cleaned.
We organized.
We even scared off some raccoons from the shed.
Ah, you guys did great! How does it feel to have accomplished all that? Like I got scratched by a raccoon.
Speaking of scratch where's our money? I do believe it is payday.
Here you go.
There's one dollar each towards your video-game thing.
A dollar each was good in 1986, right? Nope! It sucked then, too.
Keep working, keep earning, and keep feeling great about yourselves.
I thought white men making black people work for free was in our past.
Maybe it's different when it's your dad? I'm late for a client dinner.
Will you fasten this for me? Oh, sure thing, Sis.
Good thing you a lawyer, 'cause it's a crime to look this good! Thank you! You look good, too.
- Ah.
Uh-huh.
- Hey, I've never I've never seen this outfit before.
Oh! O-Or those shoes.
Is that a new purse? You know I needed new threads to match my new car.
Where did you get the money? It was payday.
But I look good, right? Thank you again, Sis.
Now, go out there and win us some more money! Hee-hee! Can't forget my car keys.
Jingle jangle! Wow! You finished already? Nope! Well, what happened to earning money and being fulfilled while doing it? It was not fulfilling, and it wasn't that much money.
Oh, guys, come on.
You can't just quit after one day.
Besides, a bunch of chores on this list are things that you actually enjoy doing.
Like raking leaves? Tending the garden? That was before we knew we were being shafted.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about you changing the rules.
I was on your side until you stopped playing fair, but now we'll never be able to earn enough to buy video games.
Because work is dumb.
Yeah, the American Dream is a myth.
Sorry, guys, but you can't just quit.
You're gonna have to continue doing your chores, or else there will be some sort of punishment.
Like taking our video games away? You should've seen when she won last time.
The other side looked like they had a collective stroke when the judge ruled.
Um, el Ferrari.
Uh, yo tengo un Ferrari.
I'm Filipino, sir.
I'm Harrison.
I have a Ferrari.
And so, if you trust us with your case and you should I promise we will make sure you and your family get every penny you deserve.
Alicia is our best attorney.
You're a very lucky man uh, aside from the lifetime of severe pain from the whiplash, of course.
Rusty sedan? Who has the rusty sedan? Oh, gross.
- Can you imagine? - No.
How many food stamps does that cost? It's actually my car.
I thought she was your best attorney? She is.
Then how good could your firm be? Look, maybe I didn't make myself clear.
Your car, the way you dress, everything that they see before you ever open your mouth reflects upon the firm and needs to say "winner.
" Does this car say "winner" to you? My car gets me from "A" to "B".
What's the point of getting a flashy one? How else are people supposed to know you're a skilled lover? Whatever.
I look just as capable and smart getting into that car as I would el Ferrari.
Good night, Harrison.
It's okay.
It's fine.
Here we go.
Gosh.
Nothing to see here.
Nothing to see.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
What's wrong? Ugh.
The whole Denise-car thing.
What the hell is that? Either we weren't invited to the block party on our driveway or someone got a new car stereo.
Hey.
Ooh.
Denise.
I know you did not just get a new system.
Yeah, come on, Denise.
Don't tell us you got a new system.
Way before the Beastie Boys, my dad had my mom's back as the first white hype man, and that was my favorite thing about him.
What? It's a safety feature.
If people can hear me coming down the street, then they can get the hell out of my way.
Why are you all "grrrr"? Your attitude is ruining my new-outfit buzz.
A new new outfit? All of a sudden, you're getting new stereos, - new outfits.
- Hmm.
I bought you a car because you couldn't afford one, but suddenly you can afford all of this.
Yeah, how can you afford all this? These are just a few little things.
They don't equal a car.
They equal a car payment.
And a car payment eventually equals a car, so if you don't know, now you know.
Y'all are being petty.
- Oh! You want to see petty? - Here comes the petty.
Okay, Miss "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours," I guess you won't mind me borrowing this scarf.
You done lost your damn mind! This is my stuff! Babe, her shoes are new.
Oh, yeah, I'mma need you to step out of those.
- You want my coat, too? - Yep.
- What about my watch? - Yep.
Thanks, Sis.
I've really enjoyed shopping at J.
C.
Petty.
- Come again.
- Hmm! You want the rest, too? This wouldn't be the first time I was standing naked in somebody's living room.
You know I always have your back, but that was a little crazy down there, even for us.
My car is a bucket.
Eh, it's not that bad.
A bucket means bad, right? I'm the one who worked my butt off in law school and clawed my way back to a career - after 15 years.
- Yeah.
I earned that bonus with hard work and late nights.
Yeah, but, baby, as long as I've known you, you've given your sister everything she's asked for.
If you don't set boundaries, she's gonna keep taking advantage.
Yeah, but my family never talked about money mostly because none of us ever had enough for it to be a conversation.
So no matter how I try to spin it in my head, setting boundaries just sounds like me being selfish.
Well, okay.
Well, I guess we'll just continue mugging your sister in our living room.
- That wasn't too far, was it? - No, no, no.
Yeah, I was just one second away from snatching that new wig off of her.
- Paul, you can't.
- No, I know I can't normally, - but in this case - It's still her hair.
Oh.
See? Boundaries are good.
Well, it's going to be a beautiful, sunny day today - This is dumb.
- I'm your host.
- Also dumb.
- And this is - Going up to the corner where he's b - Dumb.
que todo la gente Why can't they make an all-day soap-opera channel? Denise, we need to talk.
I know.
That's the only reason I'm sitting up in this house after you jacked my stuff.
Also, my keys are in that coat pocket.
You know, when I went to Berkeley, our entire family was so proud of me.
You all scrimped and saved and sent care packages.
You were gonna be the first lawyer in our family.
We had to take care of you.
- It's just - What? I feel like I still owe you all.
You feel like you owe us? When we were at the dealership and I found my perfect car and then you asked me for money, I felt like I couldn't say no because of how we were raised.
That's why I got so angry when I saw you with all that stuff.
I didn't know all that.
- Now I feel bad.
- Don't.
I will always help you with everything you need.
I mean that.
Come hell or high water, I will get it.
But, Sis, I can't help you with everything you want.
I get that.
I do.
But we both know I'm not gonna stop asking.
But from now on, I won't get mad when you tell my little behind no.
I'm still gonna brag about you.
Well, there's a lot to brag about.
See, this is why I don't say nice things.
Thanks, Sis.
Hey.
Where's my watch? Oh, I-I'm keeping the watch.
- You ain't right.
- Hmm.
Hey.
Got time to talk? We're retired.
We've got nothing but time.
Right.
Uh, okay.
Well, I think it's, uh, finally time we had a real talk about money.
Um you know, my dad never - Loved you? - No, uh, it's just that he never had a A relationship with you? I'm I'm telling this story.
Um you know how, uh, I didn't finish law school so I could "protest the glass ceiling of capitalism"? Well, the real reason is, um, I was flunking out.
And, looking back, I think that I slacked off because my dad had money and I knew I had a safety net.
And I guess that I was scared that you'd pick up my bad habits.
So here's the new plan.
You guys are gonna continue doing your chores, but I promise I am going to pay you fairly for them.
We're in.
Having to think about money was something very new to us.
And the different sides of my family thought about it very differently.
But no matter whether we grew up with a lot or a little Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! we learned that being honest about money is the only way to keep our family together.
Because family is already complicated and money can complicate it even further.
But money will never take care of you when you're sick or walk you down the aisle at your wedding.
That's family's job.
What is it really like being rich, Grandad? Don't tell your parents I told you this, but there are costs to doing business.
Sometimes you have to pay off the cops, or a judge, or a congressman.
Marrying rich is only half the battle.
If you're over 40 and cleaning your own house, you're a sucker.
And you can buy your kids into the college of their choice with zero repercussions.