Phineas and Ferb s01e16 Episode Script

(Song: Shimmy Jimmy) Doot do-do-do do do doo Doot do-do-do doo doo! Shimmy Jimmy! He can climb up a tree in nothing flat Grab a ripe coconut and shimmy right back He's a real wild monkey He can swing and dance You'd better watch what he's throwing He ain't wearing no pants Shimmy Jimmy Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-ah! Shimmy Jimmy Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh-ah! Man, this monkey is the coolest toy around Doot do-do-do doo Shimmy Jimmy! Another gem from the Har D Har toy makers! Har Har Har Har! There, you see? It sells itself.
Shimmy Jimmy is our number one toy! I hope you are ready to face some costumers, Candace.
You can depend on me.
Hi, Stacy.
Yeah, it's so cool.
The first day of my first job.
And the best part is Jeremy works right across the aisle! I can watch him make hot dogs all day.
Any moment now, Jeremy will look over and notice how cute I look.
Candace, you're not wearing your Shimmy Jimmy hat! Candace? Is that you? Candace, look! You have your first customers! Oh, and don't forget to do the laugh! Go on! Welcome to the Har D Har toy store.
Har Har Har Har.
Oh, honey.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm just going to leave the boys here to browse while I make some exchanges.
Back in a bit, working girl.
Could we hear the laugh again? Don't bug me, you insects.
Ahem.
Candace? Let me introduce you boys to Shimmy Jimmy, the must-have toy of the century.
It's totally awesome.
Seems like that would get old really quick.
Oh, like you geniuses can make a better toy.
I know what we're doin' today.
Okay, then.
What we need is a toy so stupidly simple So basically bland So idiotically uncomplicated That it can do absolutely anything.
Hmm.
Say, where's Perry? What'd ya got? Ah, there you are, Agent P.
We suspect that your nemesis, Dr.
Doofenshmirtz, has been pilfering bricks from buildings across the Tri-State Area.
Animals are rioting, convicts are escaping from the zoo.
It's chaos.
You've got to stop him, Perry, before it all falls down.
Perry! As you can see, our sales have plummeted.
Kids just aren't interested in climby toys anymore.
Yeah, but we've always made climby toys.
I mean, who could forget Climbin' Simon? Or what about Ascendin' Brendan? And then of course, there's Ladderman Larry.
Or the classic Climby Jaimie? Stop it! Ow! What we need is a fresh new toy! Greetings, movers and shakers.
I'm Phineas and that's Ferb.
We have a toy for you.
Hold on there.
Aren't you a bit young to be toy designers? Well I don't think so.
And now, it's fresh, it's new, it's incredibly hip.
Soon to be the biggest hit of the new toy season, Perry the Platypus.
Uh What does it do? That's the beauty part.
It does absolutely nothing! Now it can be anything we want! Like an airplane Or a race car Or maybe a bucking bronco.
It can even turn a mean Tango.
Just a minute.
We could promise the moon without really promising anything.
I love it! What, are you all crazy? It's just a a stupid block of wood and it doesn't do anything!!! I love it.
What are we talking about? Glad we're all on the same page.
Phineas and Ferb, we're gonna produce your toy that does nothing.
I'll put both of you in charge, and double your salaries.
What'd ya say? Actually, we've never made a salary.
Well, then, I'll triple it.
Here's the factory, boys.
This is where it all happened.
Wow.
Somehow I never pictured a toy factory's being this boring.
Time for a makeover.
Boys, I got an angle on our new toy you are going to love.
Perry the Atomic Super Platypus! He's just a platypus.
Right.
Got it.
Just a platypus.
You're gonna flip for this.
Are you ready for The Mad Marauding Marsupial of Death? He's just a platypus.
I don't get why we have to wear these silly outfits.
I like it.
It gives me purpose.
Huh? This is a toy factory.
How'd this chocolate river get here? Who the heck are you guys? We are the Ba-dink-a-dinks! You set us free when you remodeled the factory.
We'd been trapped in the basement for years, making foam peanuts and snipping the tabs off of plastic.
We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers! Okay, then.
Carry on.
This one is dynamite.
Secret Agent Perry the Platypus.
Huh? Do you have anything else? Um, no.
No-no, I don't.
"Perry the Platypus Inaction Figure.
" "It does nothing"? That's it! Doofenshmirtz Evil Annex! Well, if it isn’t Perry the Platypus.
You've arrived precisely on cue.
Allow me to explain.
Voila! A precise 1/100th scale replica of the Tri-State Area! You'd be surprised how much free time I have.
Now, with all the bricks that I've eh collected, I'll construct the Great Wall of the Tri-State Area, thereby cutting off the citizens from the rest of the world.
But how do people get in and out the city, you ask? With this official Doofenshmirtz-approved toll booth.
I- I haven't really worked out a price point yet, but it won't be cheap, I can tell you that.
I want a green one.
Here you go, little angel.
Yay! My own Inaction Figure! Candace, come on out.
You're kidding, right? Fantastic! You look like number one.
I feel like number two.
That's the spirit! Now, go out there and bring us some customers.
Oh this is so embarrassing.
I'm just so glad that Jeremy's on break.
If he saw me in this thing, I think I'd plotz.
S'cuse me, sir? Oh Candace? Wow, in that outfit, I couldn't even tell you're a girl.
Har Har Har Har.
See you later, Candace.
This isn't worth $3.
50 an hour.
I'm here live with Phineas and Ferb, creators of the international toy phenomena, Perry the Platypus Inaction Figure.
Exotic backgrounds not included.
Simply amazing! What was your inspiration? Well, we have a pet platypus named Perry.
Oh, hi, Candace.
Nice suit.
Now, as I was saying, he's a platypus.
He doesn't do much.
Oh, I should've known those two were behind this! Time to call Mom! What is it, Candace? Okay, Candace.
Calm down.
I'll come by and see you as soon as I'm done with the exchanges.
Perry the Platypus? How did you escape? Hmmm I probably should have used cement.
Ah, no matter.
You’ll never catch me.
You can't stop me, Perry the Platypus! You can't stop me with a million Perry the Platypuses, because I am unstoppable! Finally! I lost you, Perry the Platypus! I am free of you! Get 'im off of me! So, did you see the game on Saturday? Yeah, a real nail biter.
Shoo Shoo Go-go away! Wow, that was just disturbing.
No.
no! No, no! Get 'im off of me! Agent P! So, Ferb, I think the sale projections are Hey, people! I thought we agreed we weren't gonna do this.
How many times do I have to say it? He's a platypus.
They don't do anything.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Wait, wait! Where are we going? Is that sea water I smell? I hope I'm not on a boat, 'cause I get seasick.
So, how does everyone like my new suit? Excellent! Fantastic, J.
B.
Do you lose weight? You look really great, J.
B.
Um, that man isn't wearing any clothes.
There you are, Phineas and what's-his-name.
Perry the Platypus is a smashing hit! So, what's your next big idea? We're going home.
But-but-but-but Why? You're at the top of your game.
You've got your whole career ahead of you.
It's supper time.
Mom's makin' fried chicken, but thanks for a great day.
Oh, that's just great.
Any of the rest of you geniuses have an idea? I found this in my office with a pile of shattered glass, J.
B.
What's this? A brick? That's brilliant! Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick It's fun.
Now, who would buy a brick for a toy? It does absolutely nothing.
Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick It's fun.
Sweet! They have it! Oh wow, they got the brick! The brick! It's fun! The brick! These brick toys are selling like pancakes.
Candace, keep up the great work! One at a time.
One at a time! You'll get your bricks.
Hey, Candace.
The things they make us wear, huh? At least you don't have a weenie on your head! Ahh He understands me.
Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick Brick, Brick, Brick, Brick It's fun.