Randall Hopkirk (Deceased) (1969) s01e16 Episode Script

- Mr.
Cranley.
- Bream.
I'd almost given up hope.
Unavoidable delay, old chap.
Completely unavoidable.
I had to lose three clients on the way here.
Oh? I hope they don't suspect our little transaction.
Don't worry.
When I lose a client, they stay lost completely.
- Do sit down.
- Thank you.
Would you like a drink? Yes.
Whisky, perhaps? Have you thought about the proposition? I have indeed.
It was so attractive I took the liberty of bringing it to the attention of a few friends.
Very discreetly, of course.
- What was their reaction? - The same as mine.
Bearer bonds, freely negotiable outside Britain are very interesting.
Especially if you have money you don't want people to know about.
Quite.
And you can sell me some of these bonds? All you have to do is ask.
My supplies are unlimited.
You do realise that if these friends of mine came in on the venture, the amount could be considerable? Here are the 4,000 pounds worth you ordered.
But how many could you supply? More than you could buy, make no mistake about that.
One of my associates, Mr.
Miklos Corri.
- I suppose you've heard of him.
- Well, er Yes, yes.
Look, I don't want you to get the wrong idea.
Splendid.
Splendid.
I'll take all you've got.
It's that simple.
Er but I don't think I As you said, all we have to do is ask.
You've got two days.
But I can't.
It wouldn't be Mr.
Bream, you said you could provide any amount.
Well, yes, I did say that.
I did.
But what I didn't say was that I'm just the middle man.
I I never deal with middle men.
W I could ask him.
- He might deal with you direct.
- So could I.
He'd kill me if he found out that I'd talked.
OK, I don't care how you work it as long as I get the bonds.
You will, Mr.
Corri.
You will.
Excellent.
See, when Cranley first told me about you, I wondered if you were genuine.
You might have been trying to con him out of some hot money.
Me? That's ridiculous.
Of course it is.
Only a fool would try to con me.
That is if he wanted to stay alive.
Exactly.
- Good day, Mr.
Bream.
- Oh, yes.
Bye, now.
All right, Perrin, follow him.
He's ready to run straight to number one.
Yeah? Perrin.
He certainly ran.
To some outfit in town called Randall and Hopkirk.
- I don't know them.
- 'Detectives, it says.
'I suppose it's as good a front as any.
' Hopkirk's not with us any more.
The man you want is Randall.
Randall.
OK.
My problem is this.
Being over here from the States, I am, what you might call, vulnerable.
Yeah.
I don't know who the sharks are in this town, but they could know me.
I suggest we split my fee and take it from there.
What case are you working on? I am trying to recover some negotiable bonds stolen from my client in New Yor New York.
- Any idea who has them? - No.
But two of them have been cashed here in London.
But I have put the word around that things could happen fast, which is why I need you.
Like a bodyguard.
- That's not exactly my line.
- Nor mine, Mr.
Randall.
Nor mine.
But I'm happy to say my client has persuaded me otherwise.
In case I need to travel a bit.
Uh-huh.
And that's just my retainer.
Fifty-fifty, Mr.
Randall.
And more if we recover the bonds.
Er, yeah.
Right, well, I'm sure we can arrange to have you watched.
The man I use is the best in the business.
- He's practically invisible.
- Great.
Oh, and you'd better hang on to those bonds.
Oh, and you'd better have this.
This is a list of the bearer bonds we have to recover.
- That's a lot of bonds.
- Mmm.
Worth more than a million, which is why my client isn't quibbling over expenses.
All you have to do is ask, Mr.
Randall.
Anything at all.
Hitting the bottle a bit early? I'm not hitting the bottle, I'm celebrating.
- Celebrating what? - A new partnership.
A what? A partner? A new partner just like that? Charming! - Don't get in a state.
- I'm not in a state.
I just thought you might have consulted me first.
Great, we could have got together at the cemetery, they'd like that.
- I do not live in a cemetery.
- That's on your death certificate.
It's only for one case.
He's from New York and he needs some help.
Oh.
Well - Why didn't you say so? - Because I didn't have a chance.
Anyway, I only took the job because of you.
- You did? - Yeah.
He's expecting trouble.
- Our job is to keep an eye on him.
- Meaning my job? Right.
There are some things you can do and some you can't.
When it comes to tailing a man and keeping out of sight, - you're the best in the business.
- Phantom Hopkirk.
- In the flesh.
- Cheers.
Here we go.
Hello? Oh, hello.
Mr.
Corri.
This is Mr.
Bream here.
'I I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you.
' I don't like bad news, Mr.
Bream.
Perhaps you got the wrong number.
Well, the fact is, I've been in touch with my employer and I'm afraid the deal is off.
'He feels you're too hot to do business with.
' Does he now? What else does Mr.
Randall say? So you know.
'I told you I don't deal with middle men.
' Yes, well you'd better take that up with him.
I'm afraid he won't listen to me.
Then we'll have to change his mind, won't we? 'Perhaps permanently.
' Permanently.
You are the one Only Jeff could find a detective who's a dipsomaniac.
What about all this trouble you're expecting? You little devil Oh, good evening.
Would you like a drink? Hmm? What did you say? I said, would you care to join me in a glass of nectar? - You can see me! - Of course I can see you.
Think I'm drunk or something? You didn't see me before! Don't be ridiculous.
You've only just arrived.
Who are you anyway? I'm Marty Hopkirk.
I work with Jeff Randall.
Oh.
Ah! Ha ha! You're my shadow.
Gee, I didn't see you come through the door.
You must be a pretty smooth operator to get past Calvin P.
Bream.
Right now a brass band would get away with it.
Brass band! Don't you think we should have some coffee, if you're expecting trouble? Excuse my mentioning it, but aren't you being a trifle conspicuous in that white suit? I mean you'd hardly merge with the crowd, would you? Well, there is a reason for it.
But if I told you, you'd fall about, Mr.
Bream.
I take my work very seriously.
I only drink for relaxation.
I don't think Jeff Randall's going to be very pleased - about you drinking on the job.
- Randall? Oh, yes.
It's a pity about him.
I had no alternative.
- What are you on about now? - It's the law of the jungle.
Survival of the fittest.
Him or me.
Look, wait a minute.
You don't sound very American to me.
- What are you up to? - I'm a man of many guises.
A master of deception.
What's this about Jeff? What have you got him into? What's it all about? Bonds, Mr.
Randall.
A large number of negotiable bonds.
Why should I be interested? I'm afraid he's going to be difficult.
That's his privilege.
It'd help if you told me what I'm supposed to have done.
Done? It's what you haven't done that's worrying people.
Especially with those bonds.
I haven't got any bonds.
You're wasting time.
You've got them all right and we're prepared to buy.
What could be fairer than that? Nothing.
Except you're out of your head.
I can't even afford to pay the phone bill.
You're a fool, Randall.
You should have listened to Mr.
Bream.
Bream? You can do better than that.
The nursery games are over.
Jeff, are you in trouble! I've just found out that Bream has set you up for Er Sorry, Jeff.
Come on, Jeff.
Pull yourself together.
- Give us a hand.
- You know I can't.
Perhaps that's just as well.
- How long have I been out? - All night.
- You look pretty rough an' all.
- Funny you should say that.
Where's the body? I thought one of them was That's right, he was.
His friend dragged him off.
Thoughtful.
- I don't want to be critical, but - Good.
I only want to hear sympathy.
I was wondering why you got involved with a character like Calvin P.
Bream.
Simple.
Three reasons.
Greed.
Pride.
Stupidity.
I can't argue with that and he's certainly given you a few headaches.
You can say that again.
It's time I had a talk with that gentleman.
Come in.
Come in! - Oh, Randall.
- Bream! I think it's time we had a chat.
Not now, Randall.
Tomorrow, perhaps.
- Even tonight, but now - Right now! Yes, remember what you told me last night.
Start telling Jeff! Don't get carried away.
Huh? I can't understand it.
I was gonna surprise you.
He's psychic.
Psychic, him? The only spirits he's ever seen are 90 proof.
What? Not last night, they weren't.
I'm Marty, Jeff's partner.
Remember? You don't have a bottle, do you? - I'm sorry, I can't oblige.
- Pity.
Come on, talk to me.
Say something! Psychic? How much did you have to drink last night? - Too much.
- Very funny.
Honestly, he talked to me last night.
Honestly he did.
He can't hear you now.
If he could, he'd have passed out.
I gather you know about the bonds.
Oh, yes.
The bonds.
- I nearly got killed over them.
- I'm sorry about that.
- Sorry? - Shh.
Please.
You're a detective, Mr.
Randall.
- You know about these things.
- Now we're getting somewhere.
You can drop the accent.
I picked your name Oh.
I picked your name out of the classified and told them I worked for you.
Jeff, there's something wrong with this room.
A funny feeling.
You're gonna call your friends and tell them the truth, or you'll wish you'd never heard of Randall and Hopkirk.
Oh, no, Mr.
Randall.
I'm a con man.
You can't con a con man.
- Now, listen.
- If they find out I tricked them, they'll kill me.
As long as they think it's you, I'm safe.
- You think so? - Yeah.
You won't kill me.
You won't even work me over.
- I've got a weak heart.
- Oh, brother.
- What if they decide to kill me? - You're a detective, trained in the art of self-defence.
- Jeff, the vibrations are wrong.
- I'm not surprised.
- You all right? - No, I'm not.
Whether you like it or not, you're coming with me.
Get your coat.
- It's no use.
I'll deny everything.
- Move! - Where's my coat? My hat? - Try the closet.
That's it! I said something was wrong.
So that's what they did with him.
But wh who A friend of a friend of yours.
He called to see me last night.
- Then you - No, the weirdo.
Why did they leave him here? To implicate him.
A plant.
They knew you wouldn't dare call the police.
H-how could I? About now they expect you to run.
That's when they inform the police.
But you were there.
You know how he was really killed.
Bream, why should I get involved? What have you ever done for me? Don't go! Don't go.
Don't go.
I was drunk last night.
I've got no alibi.
Funny how things work out.
Of course, if you wanna help me clear up that matter of the bonds Anything you say.
Jeff, you're making a mistake.
How can you prove who shot him? One thing at a time.
First we've got to get this body out of here.
- That's right.
- We'll use the back stairs.
- The hat.
- The what? - The hat.
- Oh.
Hold on! Right.
Wait, wait.
Oh, I've just remembered.
My coat.
Hey! What's he doing? Jeff.
Someone's coming.
Bream.
Bream! It's stopping here.
- Hello, Randall.
- Inspector Large.
Working? - Someone heard a shot.
- Oh.
Oh.
Well I'll be on my way.
I'm just taking my friend home.
What's wrong with him? Well, as a matter of fact He's dead, Inspector.
But I can explain.
My key witness is in that room.
He found the body and I I was just helping out.
Jeff, you've been in some tight corners in your time, but this beats everything.
What's the trouble? Sorry to trouble you, have you met this man before? No.
- Never.
- Bream! All right, Randall.
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
Save your explanations, Randall.
Let's go.
It's ridiculous! Bream, even you can't do this.
You're just pretending you can't see me.
You won't get away with this.
I know Jeff.
He'll find you.
What are you looking at? Thinking of hitting the bottle again? Wait a minute.
You didn't see me the other night until you were drunk.
Whisky.
It's the whisky.
This is not time to go on the wagon.
Have a little drink.
You can't leave now anyway.
They're still moving that body.
That's it.
Away you go.
Go on! Cheers.
And another one.
Come on, Bream.
You haven't got a shred of proof.
It's not often we find the murderer arm in arm with the victim.
- I've told you about that.
- True.
I'm sure you can do better.
All right, where's my motive? As a special concession, we could book you without one.
Mmm.
Bream! Hello, Marty.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- You've got style, d'you know that? - What? I didn't even hear you come through the door.
- Listen.
- We ought to join forces.
- We'd clean up.
- You're going to Scotland Yard - and tell them about that body.
- Not a chance! And don't try anything or I'll tell them to pick you up as well.
Try anything.
What can I do? - Except haunt you, of course.
- What? Haunt you.
I suppose you do believe in ghosts? - Oh, sure.
All the time.
- Good.
- Because I'm a ghost.
- Yeah.
That's some trick.
It comes with the suit.
Y You didn't walk through that door.
That's impossible.
So is this.
A ghost can materialise anywhere.
Any moment.
Popping up here, there, behind! In front! And sometimes we disappear altogether.
We just roam in the night.
I'm here, Bream.
It's impossible.
You'll get used to it.
Night after night after night.
Won't you? Shall we go to Scotland Yard, Mr.
Bream? Yes.
- Shall we? - Yes.
Yes, what is it? Yes, I've got that.
- Bream talked.
- He did? - Yes.
- Did he back my story? Yes.
Peddling bearer bonds.
I should throw you both inside.
- But? - But I'll give you a couple of days.
Maybe you can bring me some bigger fish.
Two days, Randall.
That's all you've got.
- They didn't waste any time.
- I thought they'd do this.
Now he tells me.
They've taken that list.
Now they'll really believe we've got the bonds.
Corri doesn't play around.
Look, our only chance is to - Is - What? - Make a run for it.
- I stopped running years ago and you don't look as though you could start.
He's right.
You can't mess about with Corri.
Maybe Corri's putting the pressure on, bluffing.
- He won't try anything serious.
- No? Down there, Jeff.
Hello? How are you, Mr.
Randall? I'm glad the police weren't difficult.
- 'Get to the point.
' - Sure.
Whatever you say.
It's about these bonds.
I've got your list.
I'm giving you 24 hours to produce them.
Or else I'll kill you.
Not personally, of course, but as surely as if I'd pulled the trigger.
You've got 24 hours, Mr.
Randall.
Yes, Mr.
Corri.
No, they're still in there.
You've got to do something! I don't like the way that fellow keeps checking his ammunition.
- Thanks, you're a great help.
- Well, how was I to know? If I'd known the man behind it was Corri, I'd never have been so convincing in the first place.
Wait a minute.
If you could make him believe he was gonna get those bonds once I don't follow you.
We can prove he's got hot money.
- What are you going on about? - If he's trying to get cash out of the country through these bonds, the income tax people and the police would be interested.
It'd get us off the hook.
- You'd never prove it.
- Eh? It depends, Bream, on just how good a con man you are.
Yeah.
Bream.
Get in.
I, er I was on my way to see Mr.
Corri.
- That's nice.
He wants to see you.
- Oh.
Just in case you get any ideas, these things do go off.
Mr.
Bream.
How nice of you to call.
Has Mr.
Randall seen the error of his ways? Yes.
That's why he sent me.
Splendid.
The bonds, please.
I don't have them with me.
- That's regretful.
- But I do know how I can get them.
All right, tell me.
Well, consider the problem.
We have a large quantity of bearer bonds.
The minute we cash them in this country, the bureaucrats step in.
You have 125,000 pounds, but you can't take it out of the country.
Go on.
In fact, one might even say, the money's so hot, you don't want to keep it any longer.
Skip the questionnaire.
Just what is the deal? We have a perfect situation for doing business.
Except for one thing.
We don't trust you.
- Is that so? - All right, Perrin.
- Point taken.
- Thank you.
Things could be made much more simple if you trusted us.
- Not a chance.
- Exactly.
So you'd cut your own throat, not to mention Randall's.
Oh, and yours, friend.
Don't think we're going to forget about you.
That wouldn't be very bright, Mr.
Corri.
Especially when Randall is prepared to do business over the bonds.
Under the right conditions.
OK, you're worried about the cash? I can have it for you in an hour.
Used notes, but all neat and tidy.
And you could throw us into the river the minute you've got the bonds.
Mr.
Corri, I think you should leave him with Wilks and me.
Shut up, Perrin.
It's making sense so far.
- So this is Randall's worry.
- Yes.
If you could meet him by yourself alone, he'd hand over the bonds.
Before or after his pals throw me in the river? - Why should he do a thing like that? - I can think of 125,000 reasons.
Lay off that stuff, Bream.
Lay off it! You see, Mr.
Bream, I'm still not sure you've really got the bonds.
Oh, yes you are, Mr.
Corri.
Or at least the person you sent to Randall's office is.
Oh, you You mean this? This is just a list of numbers.
Yes.
Why should Randall have a list of bond numbers in his office when he didn't know you suspected him? This is not getting us anywhere.
You'll just have to trust me.
There is another way.
Wwe could use each other's banks.
- Banks.
Are you crazy? - Why not? We could use the night safe deposits.
You put the money into Randall's bank and I put the bonds into your bank.
At say, exactly midnight.
There's the problem of watching each other.
- Oh, yes.
I hadn't thought of that.
- Unless Unless Perrin was with you to check the bonds and Mr.
Randall was with me to check the cash.
Right! And there's a telephone outside Randall's bank.
So you could call him.
It's foolproof.
- OK.
It's a deal.
- Right.
- We finalise the deal at midnight.
- Midnight.
- What's the time? - Twenty to twelve.
Are you sure you can convince Perrin? Perrin's easy.
Corri might have been a problem.
Show me how you're gonna work it.
Simple.
First, I'll show him the envelope, right? Then I open it.
Then I show him the wad.
Then this one.
What if he wants to check them? Simple.
Show him this one, telling him to keep his distance.
Pretty good.
Be even easier in a bad light.
Perrin mustn't get his hands on them.
They might be planning a double-cross.
Whatever happens, - that envelope must go in the safe.
- Don't worry.
I can handle Perrin.
Good evening, Mr.
Randall.
- What's he doing here? - Company.
I like a suspicious man, Mr.
Randall, but I can assure you it's all here.
Then you won't mind me taking a look.
Be my guest.
Take your pick.
You can count it all, but it'll take an hour.
It's OK.
- Well, let me see it.
- There.
You can see all you want from there.
I said let me see.
We don't trust you an inch.
I've got to check them.
All right.
There you are.
- There.
- Let me see the centre of the wad.
There.
Satisfied? Right, now you can ring Corri.
After you.
Perrin? You check them? You saw the bonds? All right, put Bream on.
I'm satisfied, Randall.
Then prove it.
You can put the bonds in the safe.
Perhaps you'd like to open the safe.
No thanks.
I'll just take the bonds instead.
Ah, it looks like a stalemate.
Make one move and you're a dead man.
You really shouldn't point.
It's so rude.
Well, don't just stand there! Well, that went without a hitch.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
It was nice meeting you.
Oh, you're not leaving yet, Mr.
Randall.
I couldn't allow that.
- You know the deal we made.
- Oh, yes.
You've got the money, there's nothing to worry about.
- Jeff, we've got problems.
- Why don't you just go home? Sure.
And you can come with me.
- Perrin will be there.
- So? That's the problem.
Perrin's got the bonds.
You worry me, Mr.
Randall.
An innocent man would treat the whole thing as a joke.
I suppose it does have its funny side.
- You check them? - I told you.
You fool.
Mr.
Corri, I saw them! He wouldn't let me go through them.
Get out.
You've got five seconds, Randall.
- Where are they? - There never were any bonds.
Jeff, you'd better think of something.
- I'm open to suggestions.
- Try talking.
Bream conned you.
Like I said, there never were any bonds.
He set you on to me so he could get out.
You expect me to believe that? No.
That's why we went to all this trouble.
It's the only thing you would believe.
I ought to kill you now.
With your money in my bank, that's not very bright.
We can deal with him for you.
You think I'm going to drop it with - How soon could you get Manny? - About an hour, maybe less, but he's not the right man for this job.
- He'd trip every alarm in the place.
- Think about it.
We want the night safe, not the vault.
And I've got just the man to take all the credit.
Get him.
- What am I gonna do now? - Bream.
What about Bream? You know what he'd be doing if he knew what you were up to? - No, what? - Getting drunk.
Of course.
I'm with you.
But how am I going to do that? He's terrified of drinking now.
Sober as a judge.
Marvellous.
Listen, Calvin.
There's a lovely, big bottle of whisky in that cabinet.
Jeff won't mind if you have a nip.
Honestly.
Whisky, Calvin.
Whisky.
Come on, Calvin.
Don't turn away, Bream.
Keep looking.
Oh, look! Come on, Calvin.
Stop thinking about it.
There it is, Calvin.
There it is.
Take the cork out, you're away.
A full bottle.
Come on, Calvin.
Come on.
Come on, Calvin.
You're thirsty.
You want a drink.
Look at it! There it is.
Come on! Open it.
Come on, get the glass.
No, don't! It's the only one we've got.
Come on, drink it.
Glasses.
Get a glass.
Come on.
Come on, bottoms up.
Cheers.
Another one.
Another.
Fantastic! You're spilling it! Prints, Randall.
Fingerprints.
- What's it look like? - It won't take much to blow this.
But it could link up with the main alarm system.
Doesn't matter.
We'll be out of here in ten seconds.
By the way, put plenty of explosive.
Randall will be sitting right in front of it.
How about that for planning, Randall? Crude, but effective.
But you've put me to a lot of trouble.
- Now we'll all get what we deserve.
- According to you.
- How long do you think it'll take? - Just a couple of minutes.
Over here, Randall.
More prints.
Isn't this getting a little obvious? Well, let's make it more obvious.
The desk.
Inspector Large would appreciate this.
So do I, Randall.
So do I.
Hurry it up, Manny.
Here's to nothing.
Hmph.
Oh, Bream, don't pass out on me now! Sit down.
Jeff I'm afraid I'm having trouble with Bream.
How long d'you think I've got? D'you mind telling me how long you'll be? Just long enough to smoke a cigarette.
Only, we don't allow smoking on the job.
Thanks.
I'll be seeing you, Jeff.
One way or the other.
All ready, Mr.
Corri.
This way it's quick, Randall.
But if you move, I'll make sure it's slow.
Why don't you stay and make sure? - Shh.
- Bream! You're back.
You're drunk! Why don't you find somebody else to haunt? You've got to help Jeff Randall now.
Phone the police.
- I'm not helping nobody.
I'm off.
- Not till you've phoned, you're not.
Give me one good reason why I should.
Because if you don't, I guarantee there'll be two ghosts haunting you.
- Me and Jeff Randall! - That's a very good reason.
- What's the number? - 999.
OK.
Light it.
- How long? - About five feet.
Oh, no.
Bream's only just phoned the police.
He never was a fast drinker.
Police! - There's your money.
- Take him away.
Getting to be quite a villain.
First murder, then armed robbery.
You don't expect to prove a word of that.
Do you? No.
No, I just wanted to see your face when I said it.
Thanks again.
After this I'm going to tread the straight and narrow.
- Until next time, eh? - No.
I mean it.
Well, I'd better be moving.
- See you.
- Yeah.
- You forgot your drink.
- Oh, yeah.
- Bye, Randall.
Thanks again.
- Ciao.
You know, I think Calvin P.
Bream has seen the last of me, Jeff.
Yeah? What did you do to him, Marty?