Rhoda (1974) s01e16 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER LIKING THAT LIKED ME BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- BRENDA, I HOPE YOUR SENSE OF TOUCH IS READY TO FREAK OUT.
GET A LOAD OF THIS.
- WOW.
CASHMERE.
- PLEASE, BRENDA.
NOT JUST CASHMERE.
THIS IS GENUINE I-WANTED-IT- IN-1956-WHEN-ALL-THE-OTHER- GIRLS-HAD-IT-BUT-I-DIDN' CASHMERE.
- I THINK I KNOW THE FEELING.
THAT'S HOW LONG I'VE WANTED A DATE WHO DIDN'T WEAR GLASSES.
- BRENDA, THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS OF MY LIFE.
I MEAN, I'M MARRIED AND I HAD AN INCREDIBLY GOOD SEASON WINDOW DRESSING.
AND I WASN'T GONNA TELL ANYBODY THIS, BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I HAVE MONEY IN THE BANK.
- HOW MUCH? - $2,000.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT MUCH? - WELL, I'VE GOT THIS TERRIFIC SYSTEM FOR SAVING MONEY.
SEE, YOU GOTTA WORK HARD AND MAKE A DECENT SALARY.
THEN YOU MARRY SOMEBODY, AND YOU BANK EVERY CENT YOU MAKE.
- YEAH, I'LL KEEP IT IN MIND.
SO, EVERYTHING'S REALLY TERRIFIC, HUH? - WELL, NOT EVERYTHING.
NO, JOE'S BEEN KINDA DOWN LATELY.
BUT NOW THAT I'M THROUGH WITH THE SEASON, I CAN SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIM.
- WELL, WHAT'S HE DOWN ABOUT? - WELL, I THINK IT'S THE BUSINESS.
IT'S NOT GOING SO GOOD RIGHT NOW.
BUT I FIGURE CHRISTMAS HAS GOT TO BE THE SLOW SEASON FOR DEMOLITION.
RIGHT? - WELL, YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT BE SLOW FOR DEMOLITION, BUT IT'S THE BIG SEASON FOR DOORMEN.
DID CARLTON HIT YOU UP FOR A GIFT YET? - NO, BUT HE REGISTERED HIS PATTERN AT THE LIQUOR STORE.
- WELL, ANYWAY WE GOT A BIGGER PROBLEM--MA.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA GET FOR HER? - YEAH, BOY.
WELL, SHE LIKES PEARL NECKLACES.
- I KNOW, BUT THAT'S WHA POP GIVES HER EVERY YEAR.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
OH.
AND SHE ALREADY LOOKS LIKE SHE'S BEEN LASSOED BY LIBERACE.
- HEY, I KNOW.
I KNOW.
WHY DON'T WE CHIP IN AND BUY HER A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR A DAY AT ELIZABETH ARDEN? - YOU MEAN ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHERE THEY COMPLETELY REDO YOU? - YEAH.
- OH.
- I WONDER WHA THEY'LL MAKE HER INTO.
- YOU KNOW, WHEN I FIRST GO INTO THIS BUSINESS, I DREAMED I'D BE DEMOLITIONING SKYSCRAPERS.
NOW LOOK AT ME, FIGURING OUT BIDS FOR TOLL BOOTHS AND NEWSSTANDS.
- JOE? HENDERSON CALLED.
HE SAID YOU OWE HIM 900 BUCKS AND HE WILL NO WAIT ONE MORE DAY.
- SO PAY HIM.
- WITH WHAT? - WHAT ABOU THE EMERGENCY FUND? - I USED THA FOR THE DECORATIONS.
- YOU KNOW, ALL THIS AGGRAVATION WOULD DISAPPEAR IN A MINUTE IF WE JUST COULD JUST LAND THAT CITY CONTRACT.
- THAT'S A 20-STORY JOB.
THAT'S GOING TO ONE OF THE BIG BOYS.
YOU CAN FORGET THAT, JOE.
- HOW CAN I FORGET IT? JUST ONE JOB, ONE LIKE THAT, AND I WOULD BE OVER THE HUMP FOR A YEAR.
- MEANWHILE, WHA ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THESE BILLS, JOE? - I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST WISH THESE BILLS WOULD DISAPPEAR LIKE THE JOBS DO.
- WELL, THERE'S A BRIGHT SIDE, JOE.
YOU CAN HOLD UP ON MY SALARY FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
I DON'T NEED IT.
- YOU DON'T? - NO.
I MADE $34,000 THIS YEAR.
- THAT'S MORE THAN YOU MADE, JOE.
- HEY, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING'S STRANGE WHEN THE BOSS MAKES LESS THAN THE EMPLOYEES.
- WELL, I'VE GO A GREAT UNION.
BUT IT WASN' THAT EASY, NOW.
SOME WEEKS I HAD TO WORK 35, 36 HOURS.
- YOU KNOW? I THINK I COULD'VE DONE BETTER WITH A UNION JOB MYSELF.
- HEY, THERE WASN'T NO SENSE IN ME GETTING IN THE UNION.
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE KIND OF SUSPICIOUS OF US COLLEGE GUYS.
- YEAH? THEN HOW'D YOU GET IN? - ALL IT TOOK WAS A JOB INTERVIEW.
17 CIVIL RIGHTS LAWYERS WORKING DAY AND NIGH FOR FOUR YEARS.
I'LL NEVER FORGE THE INTERVIEW.
HEY.
THEY HAD 16,000 GUYS IN THE UNION, AND ALL OF THEM WERE WHITE.
SO I WALKED OVER TO THEM AND SAID, "HEY, YOU'VE GO 16,000 GUYS IN THE UNION AND NONE OF THEM BLACK.
" AND THEY ACTED REAL SURPRISED, THE GUY SAID, "NOT ONE?" "WELL, I'M SURE I SAW ONE.
" "WELL, WHADDAYA KNOW, NOT EVEN ONE.
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING ELSE?" BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO, THOUGH.
NOW WE'VE GO THREE IN THE UNION.
- AH, DAMN IT.
SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S MY FAULT, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE BUSINESS.
BUT IT'S NOT.
I MEAN, I'M OUT THERE ALL THE TIME, HUSTLING, BIDDING ON EVERY SINGLE JOB.
BUT I'M NOT ROMANCING PEOPLE, YOU KNOW? I'M NOT DOING THE COCKTAIL CIRCUIT.
I'M TRYING TO PLAY I STRAIGHT, AND THEY'RE STEALING ME BLIND OUT THERE.
I TELL YA, I SWEAR THA THERE'S NO WAY A GUY CAN WIN OUT THERE.
- HEY, JOE.
WHY DON'T I GIVE HENDERSON A CALL? NOW, HE'S THE GUY WE OWED THE LONGEST, RIGHT? - YEAH.
- MAYBE I CAN STALL HIM FOR YOU.
- HENDERSON? NO WAY.
THE GUY'S GOT A WRECKING BALL FOR A HEART.
- YOU'RE MAKING HIM SOUND NICER THAN HE IS.
- EH, IT DOESN'T HURT TO TRY.
MR.
HENDERSON? JUSTIN CULP HERE.
YES.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
HOW ARE THOSE SIX BEAUTIFUL KIDS OF YOURS? UH-HUH.
YEAH, YEAH.
I'LL TELL YA WHY I'M CALLING.
WE'RE GONNA BUY EACH ONE OF THE KIDS A BICYCLE FOR CHRISTMAS.
OH, YEAH, THOSE 10-SPEED RACING JOBS, THAT'S RIGHT.
OH, JUST TELL US WHERE TO SEND THEM.
UH-HUH.
OK, MR.
HENDERSON, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OH.
UH, BY THE WAY, MR.
HENDERSON.
WE'RE GONNA BE A LITTLE LATE WITH THE PAYMENT.
YEAH, I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
OK, THANK YOU.
BYE-BYE.
- WELL, I BOUGH YOU SOME TIME.
- YEAH? - HOW MUCH? - TILL CHRISTMAS MORNING.
IF YOU WANT ANY MORE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COME THROUGH WITH THEM BICYCLES.
- AH.
THESE POCKE CALCULATORS DRIVE ME NUTS.
I CAN'T GET THIS THING TO COME OUT STRAIGHT.
THE DECIMAL POIN KEEPS JUMPING AROUND.
- MAYBE YOU GOT A DUMB ONE.
AH, COME ON, JOE.
LISTEN, THINGS ARE BAD NOW, BUT THEY'RE GONNA GET BETTER.
SO, COME ON, CHEER UP, HUH? - RHODA, THERE'S AN OLD SAYING IN THE DEMOLITION BUSINESS-- "WHEN THINGS GO DOWN, THEY STAY DOWN.
" - OK.
LET'S NO TALK ABOUT BUSINESS.
HOW ABOUT THAT? FORGET IT.
YOU, UH, YOU WANNA GO SOMEWHERE? WE'LL FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING.
- WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? - CONEY ISLAND.
YEAH.
YEAH, LET'S GO TO CONEY ISLAND, JOE.
WE'LL DRESS UP NICE AND WARM AND WE'LL WALK ON THE BOARDWALK.
HUH? - NAH, THEY'RE TEARING DOWN CONEY ISLAND.
- WHAT? WHAT? - THAT'S ANOTHER CONTRACT I BLEW.
- ALL RIGHT, JOE, OK.
YOU WIN.
LISTEN, WHAT AM I DOING HERE TRYING TO CHEER YOU UP? RIGHT? THIS IS SERIOUS.
SO, IF YOU WANT TO FEEL BAD, YOU JUST GOTTA FEEL BAD.
MAYBE YOU NEED A GOOD CRY.
NO, NO, NO, I REALLY MEAN IT.
I DO.
- COME ON, I DON'T CRY.
- NEVER? EVEN WHEN YOU WERE A KID AND SOMEBODY STUCK HIS FINGERS IN YOUR EYE? - NOPE.
- NOT EVEN WHEN BAMBI GO CAUGHT IN THE FOREST FIRE? HUH? DIDN'T YOU? - OH, I GO A LITTLE LUMP IN MY THROA ABOUT THUMPER BEING IN DANGER, BUT I DIDN'T CRY.
- WELL, I CAN'T GE OVER THIS, JOE.
I CAN'T.
I MEAN, YOU'RE USUALLY SO OPEN ABOU ALL OF YOUR OTHER EMOTIONS.
CRYING IS A GREAT RELEASE.
IT IS.
I MEAN YOU GET A CHANCE TO LE OUT ALL THOSE PRESSURES THAT BUILD UP INSIDE.
YOU KNOW, MY MOTHER USED TO ALWAYS TELL ME, "IF YOU HOLD BACK A SNEEZE, YOU COULD BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.
" - SO WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? THAT IF I HOLD BACK MY TEARS, I'M GONNA DROWN? - HEY, JOE, WAIT.
NOW, LOOK.
WHADDAYA GO AGAINST CRYING, JOE? I MEAN, WAIT A MINUTE.
IS THIS SOME MACHO TRIP HERE? THAT MEN CAN'T CRY? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING? - OH, NO, NO, NO! CRYING'S OK.
IN FACT, I SOMETIMES ENVY PEOPLE WHO CAN CRY.
- SO WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE SAD? - I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS I COUGH.
- OK, SO YOU DON' CRY WHEN YOU'RE SAD.
UMDID YOU EVER CRY WHEN SOMEBODY DID SOMETHING REALLY BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU? HUH? - I GUESS NOBODY EVER DID ANYTHING THAT BEAUTIFUL.
- WELL TONIGHT COULD BE THE NIGHT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - OK, JOE, GET READY.
I WAS GONNA GIVE THIS TO YOU NEXT WEEK, BUT I THINK I BETTER DO IT RIGHT NOW.
IT'S MY SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY, NOTHING WILL.
$2,000.
THE ONLY MONEY I EVER SAVED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, JOE, AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
NOW, YOU GOTTA TAKE IT--HERE.
YOU'VE GOT TO.
I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A CHECK, BUT I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T CASH IT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO HAVE THE ONLY MONEY YOU EVER HAD--TO FINALLY SAVE IT UP-- AND THEN YOU'RE SO IN LOVE THAT IT DOESN'T EVEN MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHA THAT MEANS, JOE? I MEAN, ALL MY LIFE I'VE BEEN HUNG UP ON MONEY.
I HAVE.
AND NOW, HERE'S THE MOMENT THAT I HAVE IT, AND I'M--I'M-- I'M JUST SO MUCH IN LOVE THAT IT DOESN'T-- GO AHEAD, JOE, CRY, IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
IT IS.
YOU GOT TO LET IT OUT.
IT'S GREAT IF YOU DO.
YOU'LL FEEL MUCH BETTER FOR IT, AND IT'S OK.
IT'S OK, I REALLY UNDERSTAND.
I DO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S NOT UNMANLY.
- HI.
- HIYA.
- IS JOE UP YET? - OH, YEAH, HE'S UP AND OUT.
HE'S GONE TO WORK.
- ON A SATURDAY? - YEAH, THE POOR THING'S OUT MAKING THE ROUNDS.
HE FELT HE SHOULD DO SOMETHING TO DRUM UP A LITTLE BUSINESS.
- OH.
DID MA CALL YET? - NO.
BUT SHE'S GOING TO, ISN'T SHE? - YEAH.
- THAT WOMAN IS AMAZING.
I MEAN, THERE'S SOMETHING MYSTICAL ABOUT HER, BRENDA.
- I KNOW.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID.
SHE ALWAYS KNEW WHEN I GO IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL.
FOR A WHILE THERE, I THOUGH SHE WAS BUGGING MY THERMOS.
- I KNOW THE FEELING.
I'VE BEEN BATTLING IT FOR YEARS.
BUT I'VE FINALLY FIGURED OU A WAY TO FOOL HER.
- FOOL MA? - YEP.
- OH, TELL ME.
RHODA, YOU GOTTA TELL ME.
- OH, LISTEN.
IT'S VERY SIMPLE.
IT'S ALL A MATTER OF ACTING AND PERFECT VOICE CONTROL.
ONE SLIP, AND RIGHT OFF SHE ASKS YOU WHAT'S WRONG.
AND THEN YOU CAN'T GET OFF THAT TELEPHONE WITH HER WITHOUT A PAIR OF WIRE CUTTERS.
- OH, BOY, RHODA.
IF YOU CAN REALLY TAKE CARE OF MA, THE WORLD IS YOURS.
- YEAH.
NOW I JUST HAVE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF JOE, RIGHT? BOY, BRENDA, HE'S CARRYING AROUND A DOUBLE LOAD.
HE'S TRYING TO FIX THE BUSINESS, AND HE'S TRYING TO HIDE HIS FEELINGS AT THE SAME TIME.
HE KEEPS EVERYTHING BOTTLED UP INSIDE HIM.
- LISTEN, RHO, IF ANYBODY CAN CHEER JOE UP, YOU CAN.
- AHH.
I DON'T KNOW, BREN.
I THINK AT A TIME LIKE THIS, THE BEST THING A WIFE CAN DO IS HELP HER HUSBAND FEEL BAD.
- NO WONDER MA IS SUCH A GREAT WIFE.
[BUZZER.]
- OH, EXCUSE ME.
- HELLO? - UH, THIS IS CARLTON, YOUR DOORMAN.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
WHAT? WHAT? - I'M JUST CALLING TO SEE IF YOU LIKED MY GIFT.
- WHAT GIFT? - TAKE A LOOK IN THE HALL.
- OK, CARLTON.
JUST A MINUTE.
- UH, CARLTON, IT'S QUITE BEAUTIFUL.
UH, THANK YOU.
WHAT IS THIS? - FUDGE.
- FUDGE.
- TASTE IT.
- OH, YEAH, IT'S DELICIOUS, CARL-- - OH, NO, THAT WAS TOO FAST TO TASTE THAT.
I'M NOT GETTING OFF TILL YOU TRY IT.
I MADE IT MYSELF.
- IT'S NOT BAD, CARLTON.
- GOOD.
TELL THE PEOPLE IN 4A.
THEY SAID IT MADE THEM SICK.
- THANKS, CARLTON.
- OK, JOE, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THA OWE YOU MONEY.
THIS PILE, THESE GUYS ARE 60 DAYS OVERDUE.
THESE ARE 90.
AND THESE GUYS HAVE TOTALLY DISAPPEARED.
- AH, I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHA TO DO ANYMORE.
- WELL, THERE'S ONE THING YOU DIDN'T TRY, JOE.
- WHAT'S THAT? - COLLECTION AGENCY.
- WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? - BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T GROW UP IN HARLEM.
BUT IT BALANCES OUT.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHA AN AVON LADY IS.
- AH, I DON'T KNOW.
A LOT OF THESE GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS.
- GENTLEMEN? - CHARLIE.
- CHARLIE CURRAN.
- HIYA, JOEY.
- LONG TIME, NO SEE.
HOW'S EVERYTHING, PAL? - WELL, YOU KNOW HOW IT IS WORKING FOR THE CITY.
I TRAVEL AROUND, I LOOK AT BIDS.
I GIVE OUT DEMOLITION JOBS.
YOU KNOW.
BORING.
- HOW'S THAT 20-STORY JOB GOING, CHARLIE? - OH, I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT? YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NO GONNA BELIEVE THIS, JOEY, BUT THE BIDS ON THAT JOB ARE SO CLOSE, I MEAN, IT'S LIKE, IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S ALMOS MY WHIM WHO GETS IT.
- THEY'RE CLOSE? YOU MEAN WE'VE STILL GOT A CHANCE? - EVERYBODY'S GO A CHANCE, JOEY.
- YEAH, WELL, WHEN ARE WE GONNA KNOW? - YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER ALL THESE YEARS, JOE, AND WE NEVER-- WE NEVER REALLY TALKED.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT NEVER TALKED? - NO, NO, NO.
- WE TALK, CHARLIE-- - NO, NO, NO.
YOU MISS MY POINT, JOE.
I MEAN, WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THE SOR OF THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT, UH, WANTIN LIFE.
ONE OF THE THINGS THA I MIGHT, UH, WANT.
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU WANT, JOE? OUT OF LIFE? - WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF LIFE? - YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? - TELL HIM WHA HE WANTS TO KNOW.
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THE USUAL STUFF.
UH, I WANT MY WIFE AND I TO HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE.
I WANT MY SON TO TURN OUT RIGHT.
I WANT MAYBE ANOTHER KID UH, UH, KEEP UP MY HEALTH.
HOW ABOUT YOU, CHARLIE? - ME? I WANT THE BIGGES CADILLAC THEY MAKE.
BUT THAT TAKES CASH, JOEY.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I MEAN, THAT REALLY TAKES CASH.
A LOT OF CASH.
- CHARLIE, DO YOU MIND IF I SPEAK TO MY ASSOCIATE ALONE FOR A MINUTE? - MIND? JUSTIN, NOT ONLY WOULD I NOT MIND, BUT I RESPEC YOU FOR IT.
I'LL TELL YA WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I'M GONNA TAKE OFF MY COAT--THE BIDS.
THE BIDS ARE IN THE COAT-- AND I'M GONNA HANG IT RIGH HERE ON THIS COAT RACK.
THEN, I AM GOING INSIDE TO, UH, WASH MY HANDS, AND, JOEY, YOU JUST KNOCK ON THAT DOOR WHEN I'M DONE.
NICE SHIRT.
- MERRY CHRISTMAS, JOE.
AIN'T YOU GONNA LOOK AT YOUR PRESENT? - WHADDAYA MEAN? THE GUY'S ASKING FOR A BRIBE.
- RIGHT.
- FELLAS I'M ONLY THE BOOKKEEPER, BUT THIS IS SOMETHING WE REALLY SHOULD NOT DO.
- WHY NOT? - WE CAN'T AFFORD A BRIBE.
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS CONVERSATION? IT'S THAT I'M GONNA END UP SOUNDING LIKE A HERO, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO MY POCKET AND PAY OFF SOME SLIMY GUY FOR A CONTRACT, WHO'S RIPPING OFF THE WHOLE WORLD.
NOW, THAT SHOULD MAKE SOMEBODY NORMAL, NOT A HERO.
CHARLIE? I'M NOT PAYING YOU OFF ANY BRIBE.
- AHH.
- CHARLIE? NOT ONLY AM I NOT PAYING YOU OFF, BUT IF YOU DON'T GIVE US A FAIR DEAL ON THIS JOB, I'M GONNA REPORT YOU AND SAY THAT YOU ASKED FOR A BRIBE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S BLACKMAIL.
YOU KNOW THAT'S ILLEGAL? YOU COULD GO TO JAIL FOR THAT? YOU KNOW, I MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO REPORT YOU.
YOU WANNA GO TO JAIL? - NO! - ALL RIGHT.
I'LL LET YOU OFF THIS TIME.
- JOE? WHAT TIME IS IT ANYWAY? - OH, ABOUT 3:00.
- JOE? A FUNNY THING JUS HAPPENED IN THERE.
I WAS LYING IN BED, YOU KNOW, HALF ASLEEP, HUGGING YOU, AND SUDDENLY I REALIZED YOU WEREN'T THERE.
I THINK I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR PILLOW.
JOE? HEY, YOU WANT SOME COFFEE? - NAH, NAH.
IT'D JUST KEEP ME UP.
- DO YOU WANT A PILLOW? - RHODA, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP? HUH? - ARE YOU CRAZY? WHO SLEEPS AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING? DON'T SMILE.
- THAT DAMN BUSINESS IS LIKE ONE BIG DEMPSEY DUMPSTER.
IF ANYBODY'S HAVING TROUBLE GETTING RID OF MONEY, THEY CAN JUST STICK I INTO MY BUSINESS.
I HATE LOSING YOUR MONEY, BABE.
I REALLY HATE IT.
THE ONLY THING I HATE MORE IS HAVING TO TELL YOU THA I LOST IT.
- OH, JOE, LISTEN.
IT WAS OUR MONEY.
REALLY.
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? IT WAS MY MONEY.
IT'S TRUE.
BUT I DON'T CARE.
NOBODY EVER CARED LESS THAN I CARE ABOUT THAT MONEY.
I'M TELLING YOU.
BUT I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE.
WHAT DOES MAKE ME FEEL BAD IS WHAT YOU'RE CARRYING AROUND INSIDE AND I CAN'T HELP.
NOW, IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO? - NO.
- HUH? THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING, JOE.
- NO, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
- WOULD LEAVING YOU ALONE HELP? HUH? AM I BUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW? YOU GOTTA GIVE ME A HINT HERE, JOE.
HUH? UH OK, JUST TELL ME IF I WOULD MAKE IT BETTER OR WORSE IF I STAY.
- NO, IT'S BETTER THAT YOU'RE HERE, BECAUSE YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME FROM IT.
- DO YOU MIND TALKING ABOUT THE BUSINESS? - NO.
- OK, THEN, TELL ME.
WHAT'S A DEMPSEY DUMPSTER? - WELL, IT'S THIS BIG THING, YOU SEE, COLLECTING TRASH.
- OH.
I ALWAYS CALL THAT COUSIN ARTHUR.
LISTEN.
I WANNA MAKE SURE-- ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN-- THAT YOU'RE NOT WORRYING OVER HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE MONEY.
BECAUSE I DON'T CARE.
I REALLY DON'T CARE.
I NEVER HAD IT, SO I DON'T MISS IT.
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE MONOPOLY MONEY, JOE.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO BUY BOARDWALK, SO WHA DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? - IT'LL BE OK.
- WHAT'LL BE OK? - THIS BUSINESS.
THE MONEY THING.
- BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.
ARE YOU GONNA BE OK? HUH? IS THIS TERRIBLE WHAT I'M DOING? AM I DOING EXACTLY THE WRONG THING HERE? THIS IS THE KIND OF THING I ALWAYS SCREW UP, JOE.
I MEAN I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOU FEELING BAD THAT I FORGE YOU'RE FEELING BAD.
JOE, HAVE YOU CRIED? - OH, DON'T START WITH THAT.
- REALLY, I'M TELLING YOU-- - NO, NO.
THAT'S NOT A GOOD SUBJECT FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
- I THINK IT'S A VERY GOOD SUBJECT FOR US TO BOTH TALK ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
NOW LISTEN, YOU CAN'T GO ON KEEPING ALL THIS STUFF INSIDE OF YOU.
IT HAS GOT TO COME OUT SOMEHOW.
[COUGHING.]
- FORGIVE ME, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA DO IT, JOE.
OH, BABE, I'M NO ASKING YOU TO CRY.
I'M NOT.
BUT I AM ASKING YOU TO TELL ME WHAT'S REALLY GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND.
NOT JUST WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU KNOW? - WHAT AM I ARGUING WITH YOU FOR? I MEAN, THIS IS YOUR SPECIALTY.
YOU DON'T MARRY JULIA CHILD AND THEN TELL HER HOW TO COOK, RIGHT? - RIGHT.
- OK.
- GOOD.
- OK.
WHAT'S REALLY BEEN ON MY MIND IS THAT, UM, WELL, I'M AFRAID OF LOSING THE BUSINESS.
IT'S NOT SO MUCH FOR THE MONEY, YOU UNDERSTAND? I MEAN, I CAN ALWAYS GET ANOTHER JOB, BUT YOU SORT OF GET USED TO BEING YOUR OWN BOSS.
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE STATIC FROM ANYBODY.
YOU WORK A LO OF YEARS TO GET THERE, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU WALK INTO AN OFFICE A LITTLE LATE ONE TIME, AND YOU'VE GOTTA SWEAT BECAUSE SOME BIG SHOT IS LOOKING AT HIS WATCH? I MEAN, WITH YOUR OWN SHOP, THERE'S THAT FEELING OF IT BEING YOURS.
YOU KNOW? IT'S A-- IT'S A FEELING OF ACCOMPLISHMENT.
AH, WHAT THE HECK? I GUESS I JUST GOTTA TAKE WHAT COMES.
I GUESS I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, BECAUSE I REALLY THINK I'M GONNA LOSE THE BUSINESS.
I GUESS, UM I FAILED.
UH I GUESS.
UH UMI'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
- SORRY? JOE, JOE.
IS THAT A--HEY, IS THAT-- - NO, IT'S NOT.
NOT REALLY.
- I BET YOU IT IS.
I'M TELLING YOU I THINK IT IS.
- DO YOU THINK SO? - YES, YEAH, LET'S TAKE A LOOK HERE.
OH, JOE.
- NOW, WE'RE NOT SURE IT WAS A TEAR.
- COME ON, JOE.
COME ON, IT WAS A TEAR.
WHAT COULD IT BE? - WELL, IT'S A START ANYWAY.
AW, JOE.
- SO HOW DID MA LIKE HER DAY AT ELIZABETH ARDEN? - OH, FINE, FINE.
- YEAH? SO TELL ME, HOW DID SHE TURN OUT? - WELL, SHE WAS STILL MA, BUT SHE LOOKED LIKE SOMEBODY SHELLACKED HER FROM HEAD TO FOOT.