Robocop (1994) s01e16 Episode Script

1
Welcome back to TV's most
talked about talkshow,
What's On Your Mind.
And heeere's Umberto!
Why Men Are Jerks?
Okay, we're back.
So tell us, Rochelle Carney,
why are men jerks?
Do you think that I,
Umberto Ortega, am a jerk?
Well, we'll have to have your
audience to answer that one, Umberto.
My experience is with
the corporate jerks.
It's all in my book,
every disgusting detail.
Okay, let's ask Sis Finsterrel,
she's the president of WOMB,
that's Women for
the Overflow of
Women for the Overthrow
of Male Bastions.
Yeah, right.
Okay, you just issued a report citing gross
sexist practices at Omni-Consumer Products.
That's illegal pay, harassment,
all that sort of jazz, you know.
- In fact, Alberto, we
- Umberto, Umberto.
Whatever.
We documented 32 cases of sexual
harassment last year alone.
Lies, all lies. And I,
for one, am not a jerk.
- Aubrey, you're letting the side down!
- The demonstrators are back, Mr. Chairman.
Thank you, Queensburry.
- Proceed as usual.
- Love their jobs!
I worked my derriere off for OCP media
excuse my French.
I produced one of the
biggest hits they ever had.
Inside Crime, I'm sure
you all remember it.
And what things did I get? They
tossed me away like a used tissue.
Because you conspired with
criminals, to fix the shows, um
Aubrey Fox was my boss. And
ladies, I can assure you:
It wasn't my job performance
he was interested in.
I
I've always had the utmost respect
for OCP's fine female employees.
And how do you spell
"respect", Aubrey?
S-E-X?
Damn it, we've got to stand
up to these women!
OCP - not for me!
OCP - not for me!
OCP - not for me!
OCP - not for me!
OCP - not for me!
Steady on, Queensburry.
We are not intimidated.
No violence, no harassment!
Remember what we stand for!
All clear ahead, sir.
Well, I think we
showed them something.
- This is it, girls!
- Battle stations!
- Let's go!
- Come on!
We caught you now! Rad fems, go!
- Battle stations, Queensburry!
- Yes, sir!
How's business, creep?
Stop this! No, girls, stop this!
No violence! Stop! Damn it!
Get outta there, sir!
Save yourself!
Young lady, slow down!
You stop that! You let him go!
- You know what, I think yellow is your color.
- Why don't we accessorize?
Hey, hey!
Robocop!
Hold still, creep!
Ladies, drop your weapons.
Well, lookie here: A man
chauvinist machine!
- I said, drop your weapons.
- Be careful, they're animals!
- I do not wish to harm you.
- Oh no, no, of course not!
- We're too weak and helpless to that.
- Right, Robopig?
You are under arrest!
Police brutality!
Civilization as we know it
is at an end.
Police brutality!
Go ahead and shock the
flatline, then let's quit.
Okay, everybody clear!
Officer Alex Murphy shot to
death in a line of duty.
Legally he's dead. We can
pretty much do what we want.
There's a new guy in town.
His name's Robocop.
Murphy, it is you.
Give us three minutes, and
we'll give you the world.
This is Media-Break with Bo
Harlan and Rocky Crenshaw.
Our top stories: Italian government
falls after 10 minutes in office.
New language laws in France:
Speak English, go to jail.
And locally, the takeover bid
for Omni-Consumer Products
by rival Vetrocomp
Industries moves ahead.
That's right, Rocky, a vote by OCP's
board of directors in 2 days time
looks like a photo-finish, and
Vetrocomp CEO Harold Hammersmith
is confident.
I sat in OCP's
board for 5 years.
I am sure its members
will see things our way.
Meanwhile, Bo, responding to the WOMB
report on sexual oppression at OCP
thousands of women are picketing
stores where OCP products are sold.
Vandalism, looting and random muggings
of male executives have been reported.
- Troubling times, Rocky.
- For some, perhaps.
You're late.
Nice to see you,
too, sweetheart.
My name is Miss Carney, and I happen to be a
role model for downtrodden women everywhere.
So I'll thank you to show a
little respect, Mr. Chayken.
Why don't you just call me Chip?
Hey, no offense.
I have nothing but
respect, after all,
bestsellers don't grow
on trees, you know.
Spare me your sarcasm, Mr. Chayken.
My public happens to need me.
We have a bond, something you
obviously wouldn't understand.
Oh, but I would. You see,
you and I have a bond too.
We've both been
victimized by OCP!
I certainly have.
You're a fascinating
woman, Miss Carney.
I watched you on TV and
I loved your tender.
When you called, you
mentioned a certain figure.
It began with a "B".
A billion dollars?
Was that the one?
Just out of curiosity: How?
That's really very simple.
I've set some things into
motion, which promised to be
promising.
Such as?
Extortion, embezzlement,
kidnapping, murder.
Some very interesting things.
But the best part is
we're gonna get away with it.
And you expect me to take part
in such a horrible scheme?
What must you think of me?
Like I said, you are
I know fascinating.
But before you find out
just how fascinating
why don't you warm me up
with a few details
Chip?
Women, huh? Amazing.
I arrested two of them for
defacing police property.
- Me.
- Well, they took advantage of your programming.
I cannot use physical
force against a woman.
And that's just what they were counting on.
Believe me, women can be very cunning.
Really? Do tell us
about it, Charlie!
Well look what's
happening out there.
Women are parading around,
smashing things, picketing OCP.
Well, maybe they're upset about the way OCP does business,
and maybe they're right, did you ever think about that?
- Are you defending them?
- Are you defending OCP?
Well, I work for OCP.
And so do you.
- Oh, my company right-or-wrong, is that it?
- No, no, of course not.
But yes, yes, why not?
Those women are dangerous.
Anyone can be dangerous
when provoked.
Amen to that.
Damn this thing!
Game?
The vote is in 36 hours.
- Shouldn't you be out there doing something?
- Come on, Hammersmith, relax!
We'll cruise them.
By the way, have your pals on
the board fallen into line?
Oh, that dirt you've dug up on
them, what choice do they have?
Good.
Excuse me.
Yep, I've got dirt on
just about everybody.
Absolutely everybody.
But, once I'm VP R&D of
the new OCP Vetrocomp,
we can put all that
stuff behind us. Yes?
Don't threaten me, Chayken.
Threaten? Oh, Harold, I don't threaten.
I'm a business man.
- I leverage.
- Call it what you want,
there's still the
chairman and there's 51%.
Leave the chairman to me.
- As I told you
- You didn't tell me anything!
Whatever you do, it's
none of my business.
- You got that?
- Loud and clear, Harold.
You're a guest in
this house, Chayken,
but I'd appreciate it if you
go easy on my private stock.
That layered Glen Gully you're guzzling
happens to be a 100 years old.
Really?
Tastes fine to me.
We've got pickets
at over a dozen
You're gonna have to
be security-conscious.
We cannot have our rallies taken over by the rad fems,
it destroys all the good work we're doing, okay?
Rochelle Carney, right?
I saw you in Umberto
with Sis Finsterrel.
You really put that little
OCP termite in its place.
Thank you, somebody had to.
- Um
- I'm Nancy Murphy, I'm recording secretary of WOMB.
Oh, nice to meet you. I
really admire what you do.
You know, my heart breaks when I think of all
those other women being victimized at OCP.
- Sis'll be back soon, if you want to wait.
- Yes.
Perhaps I'll chat with
the other sisters.
Those two, where have
I seen them before?
Probably on the news, that's
Willa Sweet and her friend.
They're the ones who attacked
the chairman of OCP.
We just bailed them out.
They're rad fems and we don't approve of their
tactics, but we're all in this together.
Well put and so true.
Excuse me, won't you?
Well, just in time. Come in.
Come in.
Willa, Punk, I'd like
you to say hello
to Cha-Cha.
We, in corporate America,
have a responsibility
to stand up to those who would
radicalize Radicalize?
- Radicalize.
- Our nation or destroy our way of life.
That's very moving, sir.
- Oh, you wrote it, Aubrey.
- You inspired me, chief.
Mr. Chairman, there's some ladies
here from WOMB to see you.
- What?
- They say they have an appointment.
They have no such thing. Get rid of them.
Call security if you have to!
If I may suggest, this might be a
good time to try the 10% thing.
Yes, you're right.
Wait a minute. Show
the ladies in.
- I'll handle this.
- Of course.
Ladies!
- Well, thank you so much for seeing us.
- Not at all,
WOMB is always welcome here.
Sit down, please.
Aubrey, would you tell my secr
executive assistant
that she won't be needed
any more tonight.
- A boss who cares.
- At least I try.
I must say,
you ladies look familiar.
- Have we met somewhere?
- I don't think so, no.
In any case,
I'm glad you've come by. I have
some ideas I'd like to share.
Really? Oh, that's great because
we have some ideas that we'd like to
share with you.
- What's going on?
- Shut up!
Mr. Chairman, you have
exactly 60 seconds
to change.
Hey guys, we just got a message on the comm
net the chairman he's been kidnapped.
- Signed "A woman's work is never done."
- What did I tell you?
I thought it was a hoax but I tried
to call OCP, their lines are down.
Sounds like trouble.
Make yourself comfortable!
Yeah, save your energy.
You'll need it.
- What's going to happen?
- It's very simple, Mr. Chairman.
We are going to do to you what you've been
doing to us since the beginning of time.
Now you're talking!
Oh yes!
- Chip Chayken?
- Hey babe, how's tricks?
Where's the chairman?
What have you done?
Oh, is that a new way
to greet your old boss?
After all, I made you
what you are today.
- Yeah, after you and Dr. Mallardo murdered me.
- Honey, we only did it for your brain.
At least we took you seriously.
It was either that or the typing pool,
doll, I'd say we did you a favor.
- Aren't you supposed to be in prison?
- Early release.
Good behavior.
I've been returned to society.
To do what I do best.
Yeah, for about 10
seconds, dirtbag.
Or is it Miss Dirtbag?
Yeah, very cute, Diana. Oh, by the
way, how are you feeling right now?
- A tad listless, maybe?
- What do you mean?
I hate to do it to you, kid, but
you're the last line of security here.
One of us has got to go.
It's a virus, kid. A new strain.
Much more refined, no power loss,
no Neurobrain drain. Just
aloha, Diana!
What you're feeling right now is a
nice comfortable coma coming on.
And then, in about 23
hours and 56 minutes,
- you'll croak.
- You slimy corporate creep!
You murderer!
Goodbye, sweetheart.
Come on, baby, do it for daddy!
Yes!
- Don't shoot, I'm harmless!
- Where is the chairman?
The chairman? What
happened to the chairman?
Robo, in here!
And as a representative of WOMB, I'm
delivering the following statement.
The chairman of OCP
has been kidnapped.
He'll remain our hostage until
he agrees to all WOMB demands
and equal rights to
female employees.
We are serious. He does not
do what is just and fair,
he'll suffer the consequences.
All for now.
The one from TV
- What's her name?
- Willa Sweet.
Blond and a red-haired,
young, attractive, big
smiles.
They've found curled synthetic hairs.
Blond and red. Wigs.
- Naturally.
- But no prints.
They were wearing white gloves.
I remember that.
There is facepowder
on the keyboard.
They have accessed the computer.
I will analyze this.
My God. This could
be the end of OCP!
- What are you talking about?
- The Vetrocomp board is tomorrow 2 o'clock.
The chairman isn't here, he shares a
proxy among the other board members.
That means that Harold
Hammersmith wins.
The chairman will be here.
Add a tablespoon of flour!
- A tablespoon?
- The big one.
I remember, I remember.
- A level tablespoon!
- Come on, I want my breakfast!
Then why don't you use
an OCP breakfast mix?
- I mean, they're tasty and they're trouble-free!
- We don't eat OCP garbage!
We're showing you how your
female slaves have to live.
That's right, and we're
just getting started.
- We've got washing, ironing
- Mending dusting
- sweeping polishing
- cleaning scouring
- and a toilet bowl
- that needs scrubbing! Real bad!
The tape was on every station
last night, did you see it?
Rochelle Carney!
- You took off the blindfold?
- He was making a mess!
I am shocked, Rochelle! How could you
be a party to a thing like this?
Read my book, Mr. Chairman!
Perhaps you understand what
sisterhood is all about.
- Sisterhood?
- You heard the lady, now get back to work!
Yeah, where's my breakfast?
Clean it up.
- Allow me.
- What the hell?
Sorry, Harold, didn't mean to scare you.
The door was open.
What have you done
about
The chairman?
Harry, you've gotta
start watching more TV.
Seems a couple of rad fems
were so offended by his
sexist attitude last night
- that they removed him from office.
- Don't!
Don't tell me any more!
- My hands are clean, remember that, Chayken!
- Of course they are, Harold.
So are mine.
In fact, this one, I believe, we
can blame entirely on the ladies.
Diana!
Diana!
What is the problem
with Neurobrain?
Problem? None that I know of.
- Are you certain?
- Yeah.
Why?
I need to have this
disk analyzed.
Sure, I'll get right on it.
I love you very much.
The kidnapping of
the chairman of OCP
is the work of rad fem
minority led by Willa Sweet.
It in no way represents the
policies or goals of WOMB.
We do not believe in using violence
to achieve the equality for women.
The bag is full.
Then empty it.
Go ahead, do your worst!
You've abused me, you've humiliated
me, you've made me do housework
- How much do you think a man can take?
- Sisters,
you know, it's really quite a shame but
the chairman just doesn't seem to get it.
- No, but he's gonna get it, aren't you?
- Real soon!
Chip!
Hey, how's it going, baby?
These people are driving
me up the wall.
I know what you mean, dumpling.
Willa and Punk aren't exactly
my cup of camomile either.
On the other hand
What is that, Chip?
The chairman's stock
portfolio, you've got it?
All I have to do now is
make the adjustments
like transferring half of his
holdings into our secret account
and then backdating the
transactions to make them
undetectable.
- Have you worked that out?
- No, but I will.
With the codes I can access the
entire OCP system from here.
Harold'll be so busy doing his
victory dance he won't even notice.
But he will notice that the
company that he's taking over
is worth only half of
what he thought it was.
Who cares?
He can't incriminate us without
incriminating himself.
He's in this thing up to his
monogrammed cummerbund.
Anyway
you and I will be basking
on the Swiss riviera
- with you know what?
- Say it, Chip!
- Say it!
- What's that, baby?
For God's sake, you know!
The B-word.
Are you referring to
a billion?
- As in a billion big ones?
- Oh God!
- One more time.
- No-no-no!
All right, honey.
I'll save it for a hot
moonlit night in Zurich.
Oh Chip, please, no more!
There is a slight problem.
Yeah, what's that?
- The chairman saw me.
- He did?
Well, I guess we'll just have to let our
little sisters deal with the chairman.
Yes, I did see Willa
Sweet yesterday.
She was with that author,
Rochelle Carney.
That's Pudface Morgan's pal, she's the one who was
fired for being behind the Inside Crime scandal.
The woman with a
grievance against OCP.
When she left the WOMB office, she
was with Willa and her friend,
Punk I think they call her.
And you yourself are
an official of WOMB?
- Yes, I am but
- Why?
Why? Because I believe
in the cause.
When my husband was killed, I realized how
unprepared I was to take care of myself.
I was depending on
him for everything.
It wasn't his
fault, it was mine.
But now he's gone, and here I am, not
qualified to do much of anything.
Except help other women avoid
making the same mistake.
And, speaking of which, I have
a seminar in an hour so
is there anything else
I can help you with?
Thank you for your cooperation.
Welcome.
- See you.
- See you.
I don't understand.
- I thought that
- You thought you were a loving husband
doing everything you could to provide
for your family. And you were.
You heard what she said,
it wasn't your fault.
Be proud of her, Murphy, it's a bit tough
but she's making the best of things,
you left her in a position to do that.
That's your real legacy.
Thank you, Madigan.
- I appreciate that.
- What are friends for, right?
What do you say we check
Miss Rochelle Carney?
There's something
I must do first.
Okay.
Keep in touch, all right? I've got a feeling
this 2-o'clock meeting is the key to this
and the clock is ticking.
I'll let you know
what I find out.
- Have you analyzed the disk?
- Not yet.
- It's like nothing I've ever seen.
- Could it be a virus?
Well, if it is, what's it virusing?
You asked about Neurobrain
and there are no problems
anywhere, I checked.
Unless it's something specific
to the chairman's system.
- I'll keep on it.
- Thank you, Charlie.
Diana! Where are you?
Harold Hammersmith, I knew it.
- How clever you are.
- Search warrant.
But then again, girls are
more clever than boys,
as all our reputable surveys show.
It's in my book.
- I'll have to read it.
- I'll help you get the chance.
It's so good to see
you again, Lisa.
Why don't you help
me with my bags?
You see, it's a virus, kid.
Much more refined, no power loss,
no Neurobrain drain. Just
aloha, Diana.
Diana? Can you hear me?
Diana?
- Alex, wow! What was that?
- A new strain of virus.
- Chayken.
- Right.
Chip Chayken. That creep
tried to kill me.
And he almost did, again!
- How did you find out?
- The chairman has a security camera.
- Did you know that?
- Of course.
He has no secrets from me.
Who does?
What are you up to now, Chayken?
Nothing, Harold, just
tidying up my data files.
I'm workaholic, you know.
Alcoholic is more like it.
I just opened up another one.
Just a couple more hours
now, and OCP is all ours.
I mean, all yours.
Careful, Chayken,
don't be getting any
delusions of grandeur.
Perish the thought, Harry!
I wouldn't dream of it.
Caviar?
- Wake up, sisters!
- Detective Madigan
- Mr. Chairman, are you all right?
- Yes, I suppose so.
- What is this?
- A cop?
Exactly, a defender
of the status quo.
A traitor to her own sex.
A woman who sold out to the male
establishment for the price of a badge
- and a gun.
- You guys don't actually believe this crap, do you?
This woman does not care about you or
the cause or anything but herself.
She's using you guys, she's getting ready to
take off, she's got her bags packed in the car!
Yes, they are, packed
with books and pamphlets
so we can spread the word of our struggle
to all the unenlightened masses everywhere.
Don't listen to her, girls.
- Oh, don't worry!
- We aren't that stupid.
We hate traitors.
I deplore the kidnapping
of the chairman of OCP.
I really do. But
life goes on.
As we used to say at the
Harvard business school,
business is bigger than any individual
business man um, person.
That's why for the good of
OCP and of the nation itself
today's board of directors' meeting
must proceed as scheduled at 2 o'clock.
Thank you, that's all.
Are you certain Chip
Chayken is in there?
That's where his v-phone
calls are coming from.
And who is more to gain from the chairman's
kidnapping than Harold Hammersmith?
- Rochelle Carney.
- The feminist?
The opportunist.
You know what's worse than being
called a traitor to my own sex?
Being tied up with
a pig like you.
What? What are you saying?
Rad fems are right, OCP is the most
sexist corporation in America.
You deserve what's coming to you.
Me, what, I was just doing my job!
No one forced you to be a cop.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a cop, but
working for jerks like this is the problem.
Detective Madigan, I
can hardly believe it!
Really? Then believe this!
- Detective, have you lost your mind?
- I'll save the world from a sexist pig like you!
Now!
Oh no, you don't!
Get up, Mr. Chairman!
Look out!
Get off him!
Careful, you're breaking my
(tubes?)
- Where are the keys? Say, where are they?
- In my pocket.
- Careful, it tickles!
- Nothing personal.
What? So it's my fault?
- Chairman, I believe you have a meeting to attend.
- Yes, I believe I do.
Sit still!
Harold Hammersmith!
Who?
I have reason to believe Chip
Chayken is in this house.
Who?
If you insist I will obtain a
warrant but you must stay here.
- But I've got a board meeting!
- Chip, outside!
For an old buffoon Harold has pretty good
taste in jackets, what do you think?
- Robocop's here!
- That's too bad.
All right, Chayken's here.
He had no place to stay,
I did him a favor.
Just too big-hearted
for my own good.
He is implicated in kidnapping
of the chairman of OCP.
You can't pin that on me!
My hands are clean!
I like the chairman!
I really do!
What are you stopping for?
Flatten that freak!
Don't give me orders, Chip! I'm perfectly
capable of making my own decisions.
Yes! We did it!
We bounced that bag of bolts
from here to Helsinki Hall!
Oh baby, you are the greatest!
You should know by now, Chip,
I'm a resourceful woman.
God!
What happened? Who did that?
You are under arrest.
Get out of the car.
- Put your hands in the air.
- How, like this?
Don't move or she gets it!
- Chip, wait, wait! What are you doing?
- I'm a resourceful guy, babe.
- Back off, or she's toast!
- He means it, he's a classic woman-hater!
- Then why are you with him?
- Obviously, I'm a classic victim!
Save it for the talk shows,
kids, I'm getting outta here!
You're not going
anywhere, slime ball.
- What?
- Who is that?
Oh no!
You worm, you insect!
You murdering snake!
You you man!
Did he miss a payment
on his electric bill?
Something like that.
A shocking development today
following a series of arrests
in the kidnapping of
the chairman of OCP.
That's right, Bo, Vetrocomp
president Harold Hammersmith
withdrew his bid for control of
OCP citing personal conflicts.
Meanwhile, the chairman has emerged from his
ordeal with an announcement of his own.
Frankly, I have a whole new
appreciation of the difficulties
faced by the
homemakers of America.
As a result, I'm declaring
a 15% discount on all
OCP products for women.
Thank you.
15%.
Obviously it was a life-altering
experience for the chairman.
- It was for Chip Chayken.
- Let's hope so.
I did not know you could
focus your energy that way.
Neither did I, to
tell you the truth.
He just got me so mad.
Who says women can't
handle power?