The Haunted Hathaways (2013) s01e16 Episode Script

Dean Specter, so nice to have you in our house.
Mr.
Preston, we take our annual student reviews very seriously at Ichabod Crane Ghost Academy Go, Headless Horsemen! If I may.
Let's begin with your youngest.
While Louie has potential, the boy lacks focus and is failing every subject.
You hear that, Dad? I got potential.
Oh, yeah.
But, at the moment, Louie's going through a lime phase.
Is that some psychological term? No.
He keeps turning himself into a lime.
I can't help it if limes keep popping into my head every time I scare.
I mean, try not thinking about limes right now.
You can't do it, can you? That's how he rolls his eyes at us.
I get it, son.
Thanks.
Which brings us to Miles.
He's friendly, polite, considerate.
In other words He's a terrible ghost.
I may not haunt, but I sure have spirit! Here we go, Horsemen, here we go! Woo! He didn't make the cheer squad.
Let it go! Don't worry, Dean Specter.
I'll keep working with him.
You better.
We ghosts have a reputation to uphold.
As for now, I bid you adieu.
Oh, don't forget, you're snack Dad next week.
Miles, you know I love you.
But, as your Dad, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't stress the importance of being the best ghost you can be.
I can't help it, Dad.
I'm a people person.
It's just who I am.
Don't worry, pops.
You have one son who can bring the scare.
Why does this keep happening? If you move into a haunted house.
You gotta try to work things out.
So if you're living with a ghost or three.
You gotta be one big, semi scary family.
Don't know how we ended up this way.
But I guess you could call us The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
The Haunted Hathaways.
Sophie, we should totally reverse dress tomorrow.
You wear a black top with pink pants, and I'll wear a pink top with black pants.
Excuse me, Miss, you forgot my fork.
Sorry.
Taylor! - Customers! - I know.
Annoying, right? - Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom - Yes, Frankie, what is it? You know that new bakery across the street? We did a little recon to check out the competition.
Free T-shirts.
This guy came to play.
Frankie, there's enough room on this block for two bakeries.
Don't overreact.
The guy's got sign spinners? We're so doomed! He also has free Wi-Fi.
Ample parking And a puppet show? That starts in five minutes! We gotta go! Taylor, I need you.
No.
She'll call you back.
If I'm gonna compete with Big Ronnie, I need to draw up some promotion.
While I'm away, you are in charge.
No gabbing with friends.
Focus.
Mom, I hate when you talk to me like I'm some irresponsible teen.
Sorry.
My Mom was babbling about something.
So we're gonna go with the pink sunglasses? Excuse me, Miss.
I'm deathly allergic to cinnamon.
Is there any in this recipe? Let me check my Mom's recipe book.
Sophie, no way.
No way! No way.
Ugh, I work too hard.
Back in a sec.
I knew that puppet show would be sold out.
Next time, we get in line early.
Sophie, that is redonkulous.
Oh, my gosh, Ma'am, are you okay? Hey! You're Big Ronnie! No, I'm not! Yeah, you're the guy on her T-shirt.
No, I'm a harmless old lady.
Now move it.
Was that dude in a dress? Oh, no! Mom's recipe book is gone! I left it out.
Big Ronnie must have stolen it.
Ooh, you're in trouble.
Those are her secret pie recipes.
Mom's gonna go nuts.
What do we do? Wait, I know what to do.
I don't need a ticket to get into a puppet show.
I'm a ghost.
Later.
Okay, so who's ready to have some fun? I am! Is it recycling day? No, we're gonna work on your scaring.
That's why I brought something you'll have no problem haunting.
It's a ghost skunk! Everybody hates skunks.
I mean, look at those beady eyes, those snarling teeth.
Oh, my gosh, he's so cute! Wha wait! N-n-no, not cute.
Smelly.
You got a name, little fella? His whiskers tickle.
Stop that.
You're supposed to scare him.
Aw, he's trembling.
Come on, Dad.
Indoor voice.
- What's going on in here? - Ah.
Just stepping up my business game.
I bought one of those floppy air guys to set up outside the bakery.
Do those things really attract more customers? Uh, yeah, they only raise business by 80%.
Wow, where'd you hear that? The guy who sold it to me.
I wanna see Big Ronnie compete with this.
Not just a hat rack, my friend.
He likes me.
Get in.
What's going on? No questions.
Just get in.
Okay We've got a problem.
Big Ronnie stole Mom's secret pie recipes.
Those recipes go back six generations.
What? How'd it happen? It was all Taylor's fault.
But let's not dwell on that right now.
We need to get those recipes back without Mom knowing.
She would not handle it well.
Especially when she finds out it was entirely Taylor's fault.
Okay, I got just the plan.
First, we roll over to Big Ronnie's, okay? Then we convince him what he did was morally wrong, and politely ask him to return the recipes.
Impressed? Depressed.
We need to go over there and scare the snot out of this guy.
Until he gives us the book back.
Come on, people, we're better than that.
Let's let moral high ground be our weapon of choice.
So what's it gonna be, Taylor? Chicken or beef? I guess I'm going with chicken.
Yes! I won't let you down.
Now, let's go.
We've got to get to work.
We've got a welcome basket to buy.
Another fresh Big Ronnie pie just came out of the oven.
- Yummy yum yummers! - Okay, that is creepy.
I know.
It looks exactly like Grandma.
But it has a mustache and sideburns.
Yes.
Yes, it does.
There's the recipe-stealing snake.
Okay, just repeat everything I say, and we'll get that book back.
Okay.
Welcome to Big Ronnie's.
Will it be just the two of you girls today? Stop the Charade, Big Ronnie.
We know you came over dressed as a woman and stole my Mom's recipes.
Yeah.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, really? Then why are you still wearing eyeliner? I'm also in a heavy metal band, Satan's Cupcake, maybe you've heard of it.
I play power Bass.
Okay, here's the deal.
Tell him all will be forgiven if he just returns the book.
Look, why don't you just give us our recipes back, and all will be forgiven.
Girls, girls, girls.
Walk with me, talk with me here, huh? Hey, Steve, you enjoying that muffin? Yeah, you are, huh? All right.
See, it's working.
I knew he was nice.
All right, you little runts, here's how it's gonna go.
You see, with your recipes in my automated bakery, I can make copies of your pies at half the price.
Translation you'll be out of business in a month.
Rock and roll! My Mom's put everything into that bakery.
Don't you feel anything when you cheat her out of customers? Wait - I do feel something - Mm hmm.
Wealthy! And once your Mom's bankrupt I'll tear down her house and build my corporate offices.
Phyllis, you're a rock star.
Don't go changing.
Fine, Ronnie, you wanna play that way? - Beef, you're up.
- Beef? Who are you talking to? Tap out, bro.
Major windstorm coming up.
What's going on? It was supposed to be Hurricane Louie, but instead, it was a delightful breeze.
I don't know what that was, but if I were you, I'd go home and pack my bags.
Don't worry.
I saved my best for last.
Here comes a level 10 scare.
I'm a lime again, aren't I? Man, that Big Ronnie's a total jerk.
Sorry for using the J-word, but it's just how I feel.
Ow! He stole Mom's recipes, and is selling the pies at half price.
We can't compete with that.
Someone has to take him down.
Well, clearly that someone isn't going to be bow tie man and his sidekick, lime boy.
We need a real ghost Ray.
Hey, stupid floppy man, stop flirting with me and do your job! Oh, man, Mom's losing it.
I feel horrible.
I have to tell her what happened.
So, Mom, how you doing? Me? Top of the world.
Big Ronnie's has a line around the block, and I just have one customer.
Captain bike shorts.
Three hours and all he's ordered is green tea.
Eat a muffin, Trevor! Won't kill ya.
Mom, please try to stay calm.
Oh, I'm calm.
Calm like a fox.
I've got a backup plan.
This place goes bankrupt, I've got other skills.
When I went to summer camp as a girl, I won an Archery Badge.
I can hunt for our dinner.
Okay, well, it sounds like you got it all figured out.
Mom is spinning out of control and it's all my fault.
- We need Ray.
- You don't need Dad.
You got me.
Wait till you see what I got planned next.
Big Ronnie, you're in trouble! Yes, Dean Specter.
I'll talk to Miles.
I don't know why he turned himself into a rainbow during recess.
It won't happen again.
Get in.
- What's going on? - No questions.
Just get in.
Okay Big Ronnie's Bakery is selling Mom's pies, and we might go out of business.
Thanks to Taylor.
It's worse than that.
After he closes the business, he's planning to tear down the house.
- We need your help, Ray.
- Excuse me? He's trying to tear down my house? Yes.
Because of Taylor.
We wanted to tell Michelle, but she's under a ton of stress already.
Mm, that's true.
I saw her stringing up a bow and arrow.
She doesn't seem like she's in a good place right now.
I'm in.
What do you have in mind, pops? I'm thinking it's time to get my haunt on, and scare away his customers.
Oh, my gosh, Ray, you have no idea how much you'd be saving me here.
So, Dad, I'm guessing you could use a wing man.
You know it! Miles, are you in? I don't know, Dad.
I really think haunting should be a last resort.
Ah, I wish you would change your mind, son.
We could really use your help.
But you've got to do what you think is right.
All right, Louie, let's go help Michelle.
Oh, yeah! Don't think about limes.
Don't think about limes.
I can't wait to see Big Ronnie's face as Ray does his ghost thing.
Big Ronnie says, a pie a day keeps the grumpies away! Eat more pie! That thing's making me hate Grandma.
Ah! Everyone's welcome at Big Ronnie's.
What do you two little snots want? We just came over to tell you that we're putting an end to this.
Rock and roll! Don't do that.
So, Ronnie, you ready to meet our secret weapon? And by secret weapon, do you mean your little ghost friends? - Say what now? - Huh? Ah, come on, the talking to invisible people, the floating napkin It wasn't too hard to figure out.
You have ghosts.
Which is why I called my secret weapon.
Madame Madame Labuef? It is I! It is me? It is I'm here! That's the woman Mom hired to get rid of Miles, Louie, and Ray when we first moved in.
- Yes, Frankie, I was there.
- Hello, girls.
Sorry I had to take this gig, but Big Ronnie pays top dollar.
And Mama needs a hot tub.
Yippie-ki-yay! The cavalry is here.
Whoa! What is she doing here? I'm sensing two ghosts just entered the building.
Watch me work.
Eee! Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! - What the - No! Free authentic Cajun performance art, only at Big Ronnie's.
- You get 'em? - Ha! The boom shakalaka never fails.
Hey, let our friends go or else! Or else what? That's all I got.
Roger that.
This is Hathaway one, requesting permission for liftoff.
This is easy! See? I told you I could make a living as a helicopter pilot, Trevor.
Uh-oh.
Oh, uh-oh.
I'm losing control.
Mayday! Mayday! We're going down! Helicopter pilot.
Maybe.
Louie, your elbow's right in my ribs.
- Your foot's in my armpit.
- Gah! I'm gonna go catch a cab.
I get the strangest looks when I take this thing on the bus.
No! It's bad enough I ruined my Mom's business.
But you can't get rid of Ray and Louie.
They're family.
It's over, ladies.
Big Ronnie won.
Ha, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Because I think you missed a ghost.
Who just said that? I did! Thanks for the lift.
I'm sensing another ghost.
It must have been hiding in a person.
I can't detect them when they do that.
It's on my website.
- I'll be taking that.
- No! Give it to me! - Woo! - What's happening? Uh, wh wh what's happening is, uh I'm out of here.
Step back, everyone.
It's showtime! Wow! This bakery is filled with evil and greed! Sorry.
It's really not necessary to run.
Please exit in an orderly fashion.
Oh, Ma'am, don't forget your purse.
You, yeah.
As for you! You're not gonna hurt me, are you, Mr.
Muffin Man? That depends.
Do you promise to leave town and never serve a square pie again? - I promise.
- And an apology to my family.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm a bad, bad man.
- You may go now.
- Okay.
Aah! It's push, not pull.
Wow, Miles.
That was amazing.
Yeah, that was! That was my brother right there.
Son, that was incredible.
What changed your mind? I still don't like haunting, but nothing comes before family.
We should get back to the bakery, and let Mom know she can keep her day job.
Good idea.
Tuesdays are all-you-can-eat pie days.
Eat! Eat! You're too thin! It even sounds like Grandma.
Mom, sorry about losing your recipes.
I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you'd be so disappointed in me.
I promise to pay better attention to what I'm doing from now on.
- Hmm.
- Thanks.
Thank you.
And I never want you to feel like you can't come to me when you've done something wrong.
- Thanks, Mom, I love you.
- Aw, I love you, too.
Now give me your phone.
You've lost it for a week.
- A week? That's not fair! - Aw, you're right.
A month.
- A month? - Okay, a week.
- Thank you.
- Hmm.
Wait.
Miles, I was very proud of you today.
Because I finally haunted somebody? No, I wasn't proud because you haunted.
I was proud because you did it for your family.
You know, I've been trying so hard to teach you to be a better ghost I forgot what a great son you are.
Thanks, Dad.
Wanna see me turn myself into a rainbow? Sure, son.
Sure.
Oh, I'm exhausted.
But it's nice to see everything back to normal again.
Hmm, actually, it's not back to normal yet.
Okay, now it's back to normal.