The Twilight Zone (1959) s01e16 Episode Script
The Hitch-Hiker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold on, let me speak, OK? Listen, look, you bozos asked me if I wanted to increase my credit limit.
I mean, what the hell was I gonna say? No? Yeah, well, how was I supposed to know I was gonna get laid off? No, listen, I don't know-- I don't need you tellin' me how much I owe, OK? What do you want to know? How much I owe my ex-girlfriend? Or the three grand I owe my brother? No, no, you can't cancel my credit card! I got bills up the yin-yang! Yeah, well, sorry doesn't cut it, pal! Uhh! Yeah? Hello, Vince.
Do I know you? I'm Muriel.
This is Michael.
May we come in? Look, if you're sellin' somethin', I'm-- We're not selling anything.
Good.
'cause I don't have any money.
You've been chosen.
For what? We're here to offer you a chance at a whole new life.
Ha ha.
I knew it.
Good-bye.
You're not listening, Vince.
You've been chosen.
I'd hate to see those pretty little fingers get smashed in my door, OK? We're here to help you.
Look, you wanna help me? I need a job.
I could use some money in my pocket.
And while you're at it why don't you help me get my girlfriend back? What we're offering you is a little bit more substantial.
And what I'm offering you is a chance to get lost before I come out there and kick your ass.
I'm gonna count to three.
One two What's this? It's a gift.
Yeah, well, whatever it is, I'mnot buyin'.
Don't be so sure, Vince.
Hey there, Vince.
Now, we know you've had some disappointments recently.
I guess lookin' back on your life there's not much to be proud of-- problem kid, barely made it through high school petty thefts, all those DUls.
Is it any wonder that Lea dumped you? But you don't need me to remind you that failure sticks to you like gum on a shoe.
I don't need to listen to this.
But you and I both know there's more to Vince Hansen than the record shows.
There's something inside you, Vince, something worth rescuing.
That's why you've been contacted.
That's why you've been chosen.
We'll be back for you soon.
That's a sales pitch Vince Hansen doesn't hear every day.
But what exactly did they mean by chosen? In the Twilight Zone Vince is about to find out the answer whether he wants to or not.
Wha You're traveling to another dimension-- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are only that of the imagination.
You're entering If you do drive the Ahman freeway it's jammin' up from Avenue 50 all the way into down-- Hey, hey, red.
Hey.
How's it hangin'? To the left.
Not that it does me any good in this wheelchair.
What do you got for me, slick? The essentials.
What else? It's up to sixty million.
Feelin' lucky today.
Ah, mmm.
Nighttime reading.
-Just what I like.
-Heh heh.
Tuna fish again? What am l, a cat? It's healthy.
Come on.
All right.
Hmm.
What do I owe you, kiddo? A can of brew will call us even.
You're a good neighbor.
You know that? -Drop dead.
-You first.
Sohow's the job search comin'? Ah, well, I'm supposed to see Doyle this afternoon.
He says he may have somethin' lined up for me at the shop.
Doyle? Doyle's a surly bastard.
Yeah.
Well, so are you.
That's your problem, man.
You hang out with the wrong kind of people.
Damn, are they still around? You mean Michael and Muriel? Gimme that old time religion §§ §§ Gimme that old time religion §§ §§ Gimme that old time religion §§ They come knockin' here, too? §§ It's good enough for me §§ They're freakin' wackos.
They even left me some video to watch.
Had my name engraved on it and everything.
Yeah, they left me a DVD.
Oh, yeah? Did you watch it? Why the hell would I watch it? Yeah.
I don't know, it's weird.
Mine--mine, uh, it--it -had all this stuff on it.
-What kind of stuff? I don't know.
Like, uh, you know, like, personal stuff.
Like my life and, uhmy past.
They even knew about Lea.
Get used to it, buddy.
This is what happens when this old time religion meets the information superhighway.
You can't keep nothin' a secret no more.
Yeah.
What can we do, you know? We can have another beer.
That's what we're gonna do.
That's good enough for me.
What do you mean, there's no job? You told me there's work here.
I was being optimistic.
What the hell good does that do me? Well, I'm sorry about that.
What, I can't have a lousy fry? May I remind you? Things are tough all over.
Yeah, but you're the one sittin' there with all the French fries.
And they're good, too.
Do me a favor? Let me finish my lunch in peace.
Thank you.
They're among us.
They may look normal like you or me but don't let that fool you.
They may look like missionaries, but they're aliens.
They're gonna wipe us out.
We have to stop them.
They've locked out our satellites.
Now we can't see their ships.
And now they're here.
They're gonna take us back to their planet turn us all into slaves.
Would you get lost? God, save us from them.
The sudden failure of the Global Satellite Network has increased world tension.
We're approximately fifteen minutes away from the start of an emergency session of the U.
N.
Security Council.
And the latest opinion polls show the american public Turn this crap off, would ya? I'm depressed enough as it is.
What the hell are you doin' here? It's nice to see you, too, Gordo.
I'll have a vodka tonic, hold the tonic.
Have it someplace else.
You forgettin', man? You're barred from here.
Is Lea around? Heh.
You're a regular glutton for punishment, aren't ya? I'm a romantic, is what I am.
Here you go.
Just when I thought it was gonna be a nice day.
I'm not loanin' you any money.
Well, that's good, 'cause I'm not here to borrow any.
It's awful lonely out there without you.
Well, try gettin' a job.
Maybe you won't be so lonely.
Look, I'm tryin'.
I'm tryin'.
I don't understand how you're able to just go on with your life like I never existed.
You just don't get it, do you? Well, maybe I'm not as smart as you are.
No argument there.
Vince, I want to make something of my life, you know? I don't want to waste it hangin' out and partying.
It's time to grow up.
Does any of this ring a bell? BabyI love you.
And I love you, OK? It's just that's not enough anymore.
Y-you don't mean that.
Vince, you're not listening, all right? That's why you never get the message.
Lea, you gotta give me another chance here, OK? Just let me explain.
There's nothin' to explain, man.
Stay out of this, Gordo.
It's got nothin' to do with you.
You know, you're right? He never gets the message.
-Hey, don't hurt him! -Too late.
Ohhhuhh Have you watched the DVD yet, Vince? Who are you freaks? What do you want from me? We're here to help you.
Help someone else.
Time is running out.
I don't care! Leave me alone! You don't want that, Vince! You've been chosen! Hey, neighbor! Turning from the faltering negotiations at the United Nations to local news police are issuing an appeal for anyone with information about the disappearance of Wendy Robins to come-- No freakin' way.
Speed! Speed! Speed? Uhh.
'Cause there's somethin' inside you, Speed.
Something worth rescuing.
That's why you've been contacted.
That's why you've been chosen.
We'll be back for you soon.
I'm telling you, Speed couldn't have gone anywhere without his chair.
The guy can't walk.
Then where could he be, Mr.
Hansen? Beats the hell out of me.
Who are you? Richard Schultz, Homeland Security.
If I could have everybody step outside, please.
Why? Right this way, Mr.
Hansen.
Do you know if Mr.
Moorcock had any visitors lately? Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
I was just tellin' the officers inside.
UhMichael and--and Muriel.
At least, that's what they called themselves.
They're some kind of religious nuts, I think.
Were you visited by them as well? Well, yeah, they hit the whole neighborhood.
There's more of 'em out there, too.
Who are these people? And what would they want with a guy like Speed? Mr.
Hansen, I'd be extremely careful who I let in my home, if I were you.
Heh.
What are you sayin' they're gonna try and disappear me, too? There's a pattern forming.
So Speed wasn't the first.
There's been others? How many? You call me if you see Michael, Muriel, or any of their friends.
Wait, wait, wait.
Just between you and me.
Are--are we talkin' aliens here? You have my number.
Diplomats at the United Nations Security Council have traded threats over the failure of the Global Satellite Network.
In other news, the mysterious wave of missing persons around the world has baffled the international scientific-- Look, Lea, I didn't come to make trouble.
I just want to warn you-- I've been tryin' to call you.
Ohthat's great.
Um, listen, there's somethin' you need to know.
I'm not exactly sure, but I think we're all in danger.
Where is everyone? Didn't you see the sign? We're closed.
Listen, you don't know what's been goin' on.
People have been disappearing.
Oh, Vince.
No, it's true.
You gotta come home with me.
We'll lock ourselves in, and if anyone we don't know comes by-- Vince, can I please say something? What? I just feel so much love for you right now.
I just I want us to be togetherforever.
And we will.
And I'll do a lot better, I promise.
-You mean that? -Oh, you know I do.
Well, you could start by watching the DVD.
What DVD? The DVD that Muriel and Michael left you.
Lea-- We've been chosen.
OK, Lea, listen to me.
There's no need to be frightened.
We can still get away.
Don't be silly.
They're waiting for us.
I'm supposed to take you to them.
Oh, my God.
They've already turned you into one of them.
Vince, you still want to be with me, right? Well, we can be together.
Isn't that what you want? I owe you.
Hey, hold on a second.
The least you can do is tell me what you need it for.
What if I told you Speed was vaporized by aliens? American lntelligence Services report that, for the first time since the fall of the Eastern Bloc every nation with nuclear weapons is at their highest state of readiness for war.
The president will be addressing the nation tonight to call for calm in the face of this growing crisis.
Come on.
Oh, come on, come on! Go away! I mean it! Vince! Uhh! You shouldn't have done that.
I'm sorry, Vince.
It's clear now you were never meant to be chosen.
Bye, Vince.
I really did love you.
I came back for you, buddy.
Sorry you won't be with us, man.
In a world about to end Vince Hansen was given a chance for salvation.
But leave it to Vince-- one of life's perpetual losers-- to make the wrong choice and to wind up just another cinder on an ash heap somewhere in the Twilight Zone.
Hold on, let me speak, OK? Listen, look, you bozos asked me if I wanted to increase my credit limit.
I mean, what the hell was I gonna say? No? Yeah, well, how was I supposed to know I was gonna get laid off? No, listen, I don't know-- I don't need you tellin' me how much I owe, OK? What do you want to know? How much I owe my ex-girlfriend? Or the three grand I owe my brother? No, no, you can't cancel my credit card! I got bills up the yin-yang! Yeah, well, sorry doesn't cut it, pal! Uhh! Yeah? Hello, Vince.
Do I know you? I'm Muriel.
This is Michael.
May we come in? Look, if you're sellin' somethin', I'm-- We're not selling anything.
Good.
'cause I don't have any money.
You've been chosen.
For what? We're here to offer you a chance at a whole new life.
Ha ha.
I knew it.
Good-bye.
You're not listening, Vince.
You've been chosen.
I'd hate to see those pretty little fingers get smashed in my door, OK? We're here to help you.
Look, you wanna help me? I need a job.
I could use some money in my pocket.
And while you're at it why don't you help me get my girlfriend back? What we're offering you is a little bit more substantial.
And what I'm offering you is a chance to get lost before I come out there and kick your ass.
I'm gonna count to three.
One two What's this? It's a gift.
Yeah, well, whatever it is, I'mnot buyin'.
Don't be so sure, Vince.
Hey there, Vince.
Now, we know you've had some disappointments recently.
I guess lookin' back on your life there's not much to be proud of-- problem kid, barely made it through high school petty thefts, all those DUls.
Is it any wonder that Lea dumped you? But you don't need me to remind you that failure sticks to you like gum on a shoe.
I don't need to listen to this.
But you and I both know there's more to Vince Hansen than the record shows.
There's something inside you, Vince, something worth rescuing.
That's why you've been contacted.
That's why you've been chosen.
We'll be back for you soon.
That's a sales pitch Vince Hansen doesn't hear every day.
But what exactly did they mean by chosen? In the Twilight Zone Vince is about to find out the answer whether he wants to or not.
Wha You're traveling to another dimension-- a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.
A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are only that of the imagination.
You're entering If you do drive the Ahman freeway it's jammin' up from Avenue 50 all the way into down-- Hey, hey, red.
Hey.
How's it hangin'? To the left.
Not that it does me any good in this wheelchair.
What do you got for me, slick? The essentials.
What else? It's up to sixty million.
Feelin' lucky today.
Ah, mmm.
Nighttime reading.
-Just what I like.
-Heh heh.
Tuna fish again? What am l, a cat? It's healthy.
Come on.
All right.
Hmm.
What do I owe you, kiddo? A can of brew will call us even.
You're a good neighbor.
You know that? -Drop dead.
-You first.
Sohow's the job search comin'? Ah, well, I'm supposed to see Doyle this afternoon.
He says he may have somethin' lined up for me at the shop.
Doyle? Doyle's a surly bastard.
Yeah.
Well, so are you.
That's your problem, man.
You hang out with the wrong kind of people.
Damn, are they still around? You mean Michael and Muriel? Gimme that old time religion §§ §§ Gimme that old time religion §§ §§ Gimme that old time religion §§ They come knockin' here, too? §§ It's good enough for me §§ They're freakin' wackos.
They even left me some video to watch.
Had my name engraved on it and everything.
Yeah, they left me a DVD.
Oh, yeah? Did you watch it? Why the hell would I watch it? Yeah.
I don't know, it's weird.
Mine--mine, uh, it--it -had all this stuff on it.
-What kind of stuff? I don't know.
Like, uh, you know, like, personal stuff.
Like my life and, uhmy past.
They even knew about Lea.
Get used to it, buddy.
This is what happens when this old time religion meets the information superhighway.
You can't keep nothin' a secret no more.
Yeah.
What can we do, you know? We can have another beer.
That's what we're gonna do.
That's good enough for me.
What do you mean, there's no job? You told me there's work here.
I was being optimistic.
What the hell good does that do me? Well, I'm sorry about that.
What, I can't have a lousy fry? May I remind you? Things are tough all over.
Yeah, but you're the one sittin' there with all the French fries.
And they're good, too.
Do me a favor? Let me finish my lunch in peace.
Thank you.
They're among us.
They may look normal like you or me but don't let that fool you.
They may look like missionaries, but they're aliens.
They're gonna wipe us out.
We have to stop them.
They've locked out our satellites.
Now we can't see their ships.
And now they're here.
They're gonna take us back to their planet turn us all into slaves.
Would you get lost? God, save us from them.
The sudden failure of the Global Satellite Network has increased world tension.
We're approximately fifteen minutes away from the start of an emergency session of the U.
N.
Security Council.
And the latest opinion polls show the american public Turn this crap off, would ya? I'm depressed enough as it is.
What the hell are you doin' here? It's nice to see you, too, Gordo.
I'll have a vodka tonic, hold the tonic.
Have it someplace else.
You forgettin', man? You're barred from here.
Is Lea around? Heh.
You're a regular glutton for punishment, aren't ya? I'm a romantic, is what I am.
Here you go.
Just when I thought it was gonna be a nice day.
I'm not loanin' you any money.
Well, that's good, 'cause I'm not here to borrow any.
It's awful lonely out there without you.
Well, try gettin' a job.
Maybe you won't be so lonely.
Look, I'm tryin'.
I'm tryin'.
I don't understand how you're able to just go on with your life like I never existed.
You just don't get it, do you? Well, maybe I'm not as smart as you are.
No argument there.
Vince, I want to make something of my life, you know? I don't want to waste it hangin' out and partying.
It's time to grow up.
Does any of this ring a bell? BabyI love you.
And I love you, OK? It's just that's not enough anymore.
Y-you don't mean that.
Vince, you're not listening, all right? That's why you never get the message.
Lea, you gotta give me another chance here, OK? Just let me explain.
There's nothin' to explain, man.
Stay out of this, Gordo.
It's got nothin' to do with you.
You know, you're right? He never gets the message.
-Hey, don't hurt him! -Too late.
Ohhhuhh Have you watched the DVD yet, Vince? Who are you freaks? What do you want from me? We're here to help you.
Help someone else.
Time is running out.
I don't care! Leave me alone! You don't want that, Vince! You've been chosen! Hey, neighbor! Turning from the faltering negotiations at the United Nations to local news police are issuing an appeal for anyone with information about the disappearance of Wendy Robins to come-- No freakin' way.
Speed! Speed! Speed? Uhh.
'Cause there's somethin' inside you, Speed.
Something worth rescuing.
That's why you've been contacted.
That's why you've been chosen.
We'll be back for you soon.
I'm telling you, Speed couldn't have gone anywhere without his chair.
The guy can't walk.
Then where could he be, Mr.
Hansen? Beats the hell out of me.
Who are you? Richard Schultz, Homeland Security.
If I could have everybody step outside, please.
Why? Right this way, Mr.
Hansen.
Do you know if Mr.
Moorcock had any visitors lately? Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
I was just tellin' the officers inside.
UhMichael and--and Muriel.
At least, that's what they called themselves.
They're some kind of religious nuts, I think.
Were you visited by them as well? Well, yeah, they hit the whole neighborhood.
There's more of 'em out there, too.
Who are these people? And what would they want with a guy like Speed? Mr.
Hansen, I'd be extremely careful who I let in my home, if I were you.
Heh.
What are you sayin' they're gonna try and disappear me, too? There's a pattern forming.
So Speed wasn't the first.
There's been others? How many? You call me if you see Michael, Muriel, or any of their friends.
Wait, wait, wait.
Just between you and me.
Are--are we talkin' aliens here? You have my number.
Diplomats at the United Nations Security Council have traded threats over the failure of the Global Satellite Network.
In other news, the mysterious wave of missing persons around the world has baffled the international scientific-- Look, Lea, I didn't come to make trouble.
I just want to warn you-- I've been tryin' to call you.
Ohthat's great.
Um, listen, there's somethin' you need to know.
I'm not exactly sure, but I think we're all in danger.
Where is everyone? Didn't you see the sign? We're closed.
Listen, you don't know what's been goin' on.
People have been disappearing.
Oh, Vince.
No, it's true.
You gotta come home with me.
We'll lock ourselves in, and if anyone we don't know comes by-- Vince, can I please say something? What? I just feel so much love for you right now.
I just I want us to be togetherforever.
And we will.
And I'll do a lot better, I promise.
-You mean that? -Oh, you know I do.
Well, you could start by watching the DVD.
What DVD? The DVD that Muriel and Michael left you.
Lea-- We've been chosen.
OK, Lea, listen to me.
There's no need to be frightened.
We can still get away.
Don't be silly.
They're waiting for us.
I'm supposed to take you to them.
Oh, my God.
They've already turned you into one of them.
Vince, you still want to be with me, right? Well, we can be together.
Isn't that what you want? I owe you.
Hey, hold on a second.
The least you can do is tell me what you need it for.
What if I told you Speed was vaporized by aliens? American lntelligence Services report that, for the first time since the fall of the Eastern Bloc every nation with nuclear weapons is at their highest state of readiness for war.
The president will be addressing the nation tonight to call for calm in the face of this growing crisis.
Come on.
Oh, come on, come on! Go away! I mean it! Vince! Uhh! You shouldn't have done that.
I'm sorry, Vince.
It's clear now you were never meant to be chosen.
Bye, Vince.
I really did love you.
I came back for you, buddy.
Sorry you won't be with us, man.
In a world about to end Vince Hansen was given a chance for salvation.
But leave it to Vince-- one of life's perpetual losers-- to make the wrong choice and to wind up just another cinder on an ash heap somewhere in the Twilight Zone.