The Wild Wild West (1965) s01e16 Episode Script

Closed for the night.
You'll have to wait till morning.
Open at 7:00 sharp.
An odd business for a retired Army officer to be engaged in, Colonel.
Who are you? It would be difficult to recognize me now.
I've never seen you before.
You've aged rather gracefully.
We have met.
I was a presentable young man, my features quite distinctive.
Torres.
At your service, Colonel Gilbert.
You did recover.
No pity, Colonel.
Not for me.
I am now a superior man: There is steel in my skull, layers of metal protecting my heart, my hands are made of steel, my sinews are wire.
It is a bit difficult to look me in the face without flinching.
But all in all, you have made of me a man far superior than I was.
Made of you? I? And the others.
Torres, as God is my witness, I don't know what you're talking about.
Then why the hiding? Hiding from what? My Army pension and the little the shop brings in I earn my living here.
After tonight, you will no longer be so burdened.
What do you want? Your life.
A small thing.
Torres, how have I harmed you? Explain to me! Why the others in the cadre died and you were too stupid to comprehend? I wrote my niece, the coincidence- within the year five of the officers dying.
And you the sixth.
The superior man.
And you now have my thanks, my gratitude.
A prudent man simply leaves, my friend.
It's from the president.
He wants to know What progress we've made locating Gilbert's killer.
Right.
I don't understand it.
The man retired after as far as we can discover, didn't have an enemy in the world.
Well, I'd hardly call the man who killed him a friend.
He didn't drink or gamble, respected member of the community.
What possible reason could anyone have for killing him? Well, obviously the iron man thought he had a reason.
Anything new on the girl? No, just that she's at some school for young ladies back East.
They're still trying to find her.
I can't see what possible help she could be, but she's the only lead we've got.
Well, there goes our lead- she's left school.
Four days ago.
Mm-hmm.
If she was aware of her uncle's death, there's only one place she could be heading.
Right.
May we be of some help? What are you doing here? You're Nina Gilbert, Colonel Gilbert's niece? That is correct.
I'm James West, and this is my partner, Artemus Gordon.
We're investigating your uncle's death for the Army.
Oh.
And what have you discovered? Well, nothing, I'm afraid, that would give us any indication as to why he was killed.
Do you mean to tell me that you have been investigating my uncle's death for over a week now and you still have not discovered that he was the victim of an assassination plot? A plot? Yes.
I have a photograph of the eight junior officers in my uncle's regiment.
Six out of the eight have died violently during the past year.
How do you know that? My uncle sent me this picture along with a letter saying that he thought he was going to be the next.
Artemus What is it? You mean to tell me you don't know who this man is? Well, he certainly seems very handsome and dignified.
The president of the United States will be very flattered.
The president? Then he must be in danger, too.
Army intelligence also received a letter from your uncle.
The fact that the president may be involved means we must move as quickly as possible.
Mr.
West, I loved my uncle.
He educated and supported me.
And I do not intend for him to remain a statistic on a police blotter.
Miss Gilbert, we have already discovered that Dr.
Meyer, the physician in your uncle's regiment, is practicing here in the city.
He would have intimate knowledge of these eight men- information which would not appear in the dossiers.
The seventh man in this photograph is a Lieutenant Torres.
He has a villa on the Texas border.
I'm leaving for there tonight.
Good day, gentlemen.
There should be a law against educating women.
One good thing- she knows where Torres can be found.
Please wait, driver, I'll return shortly.
I have come to see Mr.
Torres.
He sees no one.
Go away.
My name is Nina Gilbert.
Will you please tell Mr.
Torres that I desire very much to see him? You have no business here.
Admit the young lady.
Let's not be rude, Maria.
Please be seated.
I shall be down presently.
Cuidado, hombre! You took a girl out this way.
Where is she? No comprendo, señor.
I've been in this saddle for three days and I'm losing my patience.
Where is she? They told me in the village you took her out this way.
Where did you take her? La señorita está en la villa de Señor Torres.
How far? Un kilómeter.
Torres! Oh, yes, Torres- a remarkable man.
Well, according to these records, you're the remarkable man, doctor, patching him up as you did.
Yes, I did perform the operations, that's true.
But, you know, he engineered each and every one of them.
That's funny, there's nothing in the records about any medical training for him.
Self-taught during his long periods of convalescence.
Yes, a really remarkable man.
No, by all the rules in the book, Torres should have died in that explosion.
By all the rules of the book, Torres should have died after each succeeding operation.
Now, this isn't strictly medical, but, uh Torres was on guard duty the night that the arsenal blew up.
Could you add anything further on that? Oh, no Well just the fact that he was in agony for many, many years.
The nature of these injuries was such that neither sedation nor anesthesia had any effect on him whatsoever.
Did you operate on him without anesthetics? After he learned to divorce himself from pain by autohypnosis hypnosis I can tell you it's quite disconcerting to be performing an operation and have your patient commenting on your procedure.
No, he had a really remarkable intellect.
Do you know that he designed all the metal parts that were used in reconstructing his body? Metal parts? Do you know that over half the bones in his body are made out of metal? The iron man.
Good evening.
You are Mr.
Torres? I am Torres.
May I offer you some wine, Miss Gilbert? Thank you, no.
I do not care for alcoholic beverages.
You did not seem to be repelled by my appearance.
I had understood that you had been injured in the war, Mr.
Torres.
Injured? Yes, I suppose that would be the word.
I hope you weren't made to feel to be too unwelcome, Miss Gilbert.
Maria was my governess when I was a child.
She now feels overly protective, feels that people want to hurt me.
Such anxieties should be redirected if possible.
Physical illness often follows such emotional conflicts.
Psychophysics.
Postgraduate work.
Eventually I hope to obtain my doctorate.
Isn't that rather a dreary study for a young lady of such obvious charms? I do not find it dreary.
Mr.
Torres, do you recall my uncle, Ralph Gilbert? Of course.
I offer you my condolences.
Six out of eight are dead.
That is why I am here, Mr.
Torres.
Coincidence is too unsatisfactory an answer.
Intellectual puzzles bore me.
Miss Gilbert, learning should supplement your life, never dominate it.
I beg your pardon.
You must learn to seize life, not temper it.
Getting back to my uncle I find you interesting, Miss Gilbert, besides charming.
Mr.
Torres, I much prefer discussing what I In your study of the mind's effect upon behavior, you must have touched on regression.
Yes.
Can you define regression? Uh, well it is a reversion to simpler patterns of character behavior, uh, childhood.
Not an unpleasant thing, in one sense.
Childhood is the most fortunate and happy of all times.
A most pathetic thing to witness, regression.
You will never have another care in your life.
The joys and simplicities of childhood are now yours.
You will gratify every wish, every whim.
You will never waste another moment on serious thought.
I I do not understand, I Laugh, Miss Gilbert.
As children, our lives were uncomplicated.
We laughed.
Everything was fun.
Laugh, Miss Gilbert.
Everything is fun now, Miss Gilbert.
Come, come, laugh laugh.
Laugh, Miss Gilbert.
Gone are the studies.
The world is to play in.
Laugh, Miss Gilbert.
Laugh.
Laugh.
It seems that we have an uninvited visitor in my wine cellar.
A friend of yours, no doubt.
I don't really think we need wait for him.
Do you, my dear? Where is she? She is gone.
Where's Torres? He's gone, too.
You don't mind if I look for myself.
Now will you tell me where Torres is? I told you, he is gone.
She is gone, too.
Look if you want to.
Go ahead, look.
You have three seconds to tell me where Torres has taken the girl.
Mr.
Gordon.
Oh Excuse me, señorita.
Señorita.
Why do we always find ourselves working on holidays? I'll look it up in the manual.
What's the reply from the president? Oh, you know the president.
After living, by the grace of God, through two wars, he cannot find his way clear to hiding in a corner every time some crackpot causes a ripple by making a threat on his life.
That leaves it up to us, huh? Yeah, that's about the size of it.
You sure Torres is here? Yeah, I'm sure.
And the girl's with him.
Supposing we find them, do we just pick him up? We can't take the chance.
If the plan's in the works, they may go ahead without him.
When's the president arrive? Oh, early this evening.
Anything you can do to stop him? I'll try to think of something.
Buy a mask, señor? Just a peso each.
Well, at a peso it's a bargain, if that smile goes with it.
Sí, señor.
You got a deal.
I may just buy a dozen.
Gracias, muchas gracias.
De nada, señorita.
Artemus.
Yeah? The iron man.
Have you gentlemen everything you wish? Everything's fine, thank you.
Would you mind talking for yourself? ¿Sí, caballeros? Cerveza.
Dos.
Dos, sí.
The girl- take her to the cellar? On the contrary.
Why not begin the entertainment a bit early today? Well, at least she's still alive.
Alive is an understatement.
There's something wrong with her.
If this is for our benefit, Torres sure is a confident man.
You know, I get the feeling this whole thing is just a game with him.
With no handshake for the loser.
Mmm.
Let's get her.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen! Would you separate a father from a long-lost daughter? Have him stopped.
A daughter who has for lo these many years pined for the return of her only living relative, her father, a man who has searched this great land of ours from one end to the other, rockbound Maine to golden California, to find the child wrenched from his arms a few hours after her birth.
Let us, like true Americans, give them these few moments of quiet solitude together.
And let us instead raise a glass in a toast to American fatherhood! Belly up to the bar, gentlemen, the drinks are on me! Hey I didn't finish my dance.
Who are you? You don't remember me? I'm James West.
No.
But we could start over.
Last week you went to visit a Lieutenant Torres at his villa, remember? Your eyes have such a pretty color.
Listen to me- you've been hypnotized.
Hypnotized? Right now I've got to get you out of here.
Absolutely delightful.
How soon can you be finished? When do you want me to finish? Well, if We will walk upstairs.
I'm sorry, my Great-aunt Maude told me never to go off with strangers.
I don't like jokes.
You'll move now or I'll shoot you six times.
Uh, that's introduction enough.
After you.
I didn't think so.
Excuse me.
Hey, bartender! We must have more before we can act, yes.
You are still without proof anything is to happen? There is no proof.
Very well.
Mr.
Gordon the building we are now in was once an old prison.
Below the first floor there are dungeons, cells, corridors.
When you return to Mr.
West's train, you will inform him that you were delayed in town while ferreting out this information.
I will tell him.
The moment you leave, Mr.
Gordon, you will be your old self.
You will remember only that you and Mr.
West should find out more about these dungeons, that they very possibly have something to do with the assassin's plans.
You may now leave.
Uh, one moment, Mr.
Gordon.
If you are in a proper trance, you will be insensitive to the pain from this needle.
You may now leave.
When the fight was over, she was gone.
Which leaves us precisely nowhere.
All I got was a needle in the shoulder down to the bone.
What? Well, our friend wanted to make sure I was hypnotized.
Well, we know Torres is after the president for sure.
We still have to find out how and where.
You know, somehow I get the feeling nobody's very eager to part with that information.
We're not going to find out anything standing here.
The Alto Palace? And do you have another solution? You mean let ourselves get caught? Right.
We could wind up very dead, you know.
Now, that possibility does exist.
I just think it's worth looking into.
If Torres bought a place like this, there must be something down here that could break open the case.
Locked.
It's unlocked.
It sounds like running water.
Yeah.
An underground river, Mr.
West.
Precede us down the steps, please.
Would you prefer walking, Mr.
Gordon? With an old acquaintance? Always.
Oops.
Hi! You look funny.
Does Torres know you're down here? No, no.
He's busy with his wireless box.
His what? I don't think it's fair, Mr.
Torres punishing you for taking me away this afternoon.
Sippy sip? Oh, please.
Ah.
Are you going to help us get out of here? Oh, Mr.
Torres wouldn't like that.
Do you always do everything Mr.
Torres tells you to? Of course I do.
Oh.
Under the lapel in my vest there's a pencil.
Oh? Mm-hmm.
Oh! Now take it and put it in the lock and press the button on the end of the pencil.
W-What'll happen if I do? There'll be a big light.
Like fireworks.
Honest? Honest.
Ooh! That'll be fun.
Mr.
West! Dead end.
A most appropriate comment, Mr.
West.
Mr.
President, honored guests, ladies and gentlemen.
I find that I am moved, deeply moved, I might even say overcome at the enormity of the honor which has fallen to our gracious city on this glorious day.
A day which, if I may say, will be long remembered in I'm sure you must appreciate, Mr.
West, the number of years, the number of experiments before remote wireless control was perfected by me.
I was rich with time, saturated with it.
A grandstand seat, Mr.
West- you should be pleased.
It's about the kind of plan I'd expect a madman to devise.
Oh, no, not madness, Mr.
West, just a man methodically balancing the scales of justice.
Revenge? I lived through a score of operations.
No no, it was two score.
And each day and each night, as I sweated through the the pain of living, I kept saying to myself, "It should have been one of them.
" Another officer should have been on duty that night.
One of us had to stand guard at the town arsenal.
We drew cards.
And you lost.
I was the first one to draw.
I drew a jack.
What are the odds that six other men would be able to beat that draw? Hmm? High, but not impossible.
They cheated.
You still can't blame them for the arsenal blowing up.
An enemy cannonball caused the explosion.
But the odds should have been seven to one that I would be at the party enjoying myself instead of screaming in agony among the arsenal ruins.
Your idea, I suppose, to bring the wagon right down the main street? The town council considered my suggestion a brilliant stroke of showmanship, paying proper tribute to the president.
My original plan, Mr.
West, was to have both rockets explode on the wagon.
I'm afraid I shall have to settle for one exploding there now.
The other over this way, I see.
In the head of each rocket, Mr.
West, is a substance having ten times the explosive force of gunpowder.
I mention this only to assure you that your death will come rather swiftly.
enormity of the honor has fallen to our gracious city on this glorious day.
A day which, if I may say, will be long remembered in the hearts of each and every citizen of this fair community.
Ladies and gentlemen, I find that I am a day upon which those of you who are gathered here before me will speak of to your children, for today on the platform with me stands the most important man in the entire world- the president of the United States, Ulysses S.
Grant! Remain here until the first rocket goes off.
There will be a minute's delay until the second is ignited- enough time for you to join me in the east tunnels.
Mr.
West, I hold nothing against you.
Remember- leave here only after the first rocket hits the wagon.
Only Torres will know what happened here tonight.
He doesn't want anyone alive that will testify that he killed the president.
I will not die.
Your devotion is touching to die for Mr.
Torres.
Only one minute to get away.
I hope you're pretty spry.
Torres wasted no time in leaving.
I think they're just about ready to explode.
You better put your head down if you want to have the same head in the hereafter.
Señor Torres! Both explosions were in the building.
Grant still lives.
Señor Torres Give it up, Torres, you still have a choice.
I'm sorry you don't have a choice, Mr.
West.
I sincerely am.
I find myself in the position of the knights of old in armor.
stay away from water more than head deep.
Rule number two, to avoid a rope around the neck at all cost.
The indignity would be far more painful than the hanging.
Take my hand, Torres.
I would have liked to at another time.
Artemus! I told you I'd think of something.
You know, there's headroom under there clear down to the river.
Torres? Yeah.
He was an interesting man, Jim.
Thank you.
Ladies and gentlemen I can recall it's been but At that time, I slept in a tent where your townhouse now stands.
I surveyed trenches where now stands a church, a symbol of peace.
It gives me a warm feeling, ladies and gentlemen, to note the progress that you have made in this short a time.
And I look forward with eagerness Now, look at it.
I want you to think of nothing.
Nothing.
Now, your eyelids are getting heavy.
You're getting sleepy.
sleepier I think that's it, Jim.
Talk to her- softly.
Nina? Yes? You're a student working for your doctorate.
Yes, of course I am.
What was the last course you completed? The cerebral motivations of human behavior.
Wake up, Miss Gilbert.
Oh Welcome home, Miss Gilbert.
Home? Yeah, well, it's kind of a long story.
Oh! Who dressed me in these clothes? That's part of the long story.
Have I been dreaming, or did you just kiss me? Oh, well, talking about kisses Oh, how dare you! Oh! The nerve of you two! How despicable! The unmitigated gall of dressing me like a hussy! Of kissing me while I'm asleep! Oh! You know, I liked her better before.
She was more agreeable.
Yeah.
You Oh!