Victorious s01e16 Episode Script

Yeah.
No, no, no no.
You're not getting it.
This is like the best Chinese food ever.
I mean they have these eggrolls, they're so good.
One time when I was little, I had an egg roll.
With the most amazing sauce.
It was sweet But also kind of sour.
Man, what was it called? Sweet and sour sauce? No.
No? Hey, Beck.
Yeah, what's up? After school, we're Oh my God.
After school, We're going to this insane chinese restaurant I found right up the street.
Wanna come? Maybe, if I can find Jade.
Where is she? I don't know.
She blew off Her last two classes.
She's still mad? Oh, yeah.
Why is Jade mad? 'cause, You know that play she wrote, Well wishes? Uh-huh.
Well, she wanted to put it On here at the school, And they won't let her.
Why not? The teachers think It's too weird and disturbing.
What's wrong With weird and disturbing? Your pants are unzipped.
I know.
We found Jade.
Where? Janitor's Closet.
Hey.
Whatcha doing? Cutting up a big trash can.
You cut up The janitor's entire trash can? He's got another one.
Jade, listen.
I read your play And I think it's really good.
I'm not your friend.
Well.
Anyway, if the school Won't let me do my play, Then who cares if it's good? Why don't you Just produce your play yourself? You know how much money That would cost? No.
Did she cut up That whole trash can With just a pair of scissors? How much do you think It would really cost To produce your play? I don't know.
Two, three grand.
Okay.
Well, then it shouldn't be That hard to find someone.
To put up the money.
You'd really find me someone To put up the money.
To produce my play? I meant that hey.
Did she not say, "it shouldn't be that hard "to find someone.
To put up the money.
" she did.
So you'll do that, right? Sure.
Good.
Sweet and sour sauce.
I said sweet and sour.
Hey.
Do you guys wanna give me 3,000 bucks to produce Jade's play? Ohhh.
Ahhh.
here I am once again feeling lost but now and then I breathe it in to let it go and you don't know where you are now or what it would come to if only somebody could hear when you figure out how you're lost in the moment you disappear you don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction not a fantasy just remember me when it turns out right 'cause you know that if you live in your imagination tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination in my victory just remember me when I make it shine .
Chewing Chinese food with Andre and Robbie.
Hey will someone please give me $3,000 for Jade's play?!? Feeling: Full.
Okay.
My fortune says, "he that is not right Is often never wrong.
" What? All right.
Mine says, "help, I'm being held hostage.
In a chinese cookie factory.
" Okay, that's pretty good.
You wanna read it? Yes.
It says, "robbie will never be loved By a woman.
" what? That's not true.
The cookie has spoken.
All right.
Back to Jade's play.
She's expects me To find someone To pay for the whole thing.
Well, none of us Have that kind of money.
But what about Your bat mitzvah money? First, it was a bar mitzvah.
I'm a boy.
Theoretically.
And I already spent The last of my money On leather pants.
And male makeup.
Everything okay? Yeah.
Great.
Whatever.
Ooh, h.
A.
Jacket.
Do you kids Go to Hollywood arts? Yes, ma'am.
We do.
You know, My daughter auditioned To go to school there, But they said she was talentless And irritating.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, that was a bummer.
It's too bad.
Waahh, waahh.
Justive us the check.
Sure.
And nobody want anything else? Yes, $3,000 To put out a bitter girl's play.
What play? Oh.
No, I'm joking.
How much do we owe? But I like theater very much.
Tell me about the play.
Oh.
Well, one of our classmates Wrote it.
Yeah.
It's about a little girl Who falls into a well And then drowns.
In her own tears.
That's hilarious.
You're sick, Rex.
What happened, man? We used to be tight.
Okay.
I will put up the money For your bitter friend's play.
Why? Because I love acting And theater.
And maybe one day If you kids get famous, You'll end up on my wall Of celebrities.
Come see.
Come.
This way.
And bring the puppet.
He's not a puppet.
Ah, you see the celebrities? Cool.
All those celebrities Have eaten here? Oh, yes.
Oh my God.
Angelina Jolie.
Uh-huh.
She ordered the wanton soup And then she tried to adopt.
My daughter.
OMG, someone just gave me $3,000 for Jade's play! And Robbie uses male make-up huh?!? Feeling: Giddy.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Wow.
This is a nice little theater.
Right? And this restaurant lady, Who you barely know, Is really gonna pay For this place? She's paying for everything.
The whole play, the full 3,000.
She really hooked you up.
Huh? Love me? Love me now? Yeah, you do.
Come on, give Tori a squeeze.
Here, I'll playfully Punch your arm As if we were friends.
I'll take it.
Okay.
Well, I got a lot of work To do here.
I got to ask sinjin if he'll Help me with set dressing.
Maybe Robbie can do the lighting If I ask hello.
Hey.
Look, it's Tori Vega With the beautiful cheekbones.
Hey, you.
Jade, this is Mrs.
Lee From wok star.
Oh, it's really cool To meet you.
Is this our playwright? That's her.
I'm Jade.
This is my boyfriend, Beck.
I am the boyfriend.
And listen, I can't even, Like, tell you how amazing it is.
That you're paying For all of this.
Don't even mention that.
I'm just happy you get to do Your play.
Well, thanks.
I can't wait for you read it.
I already did.
Oh, I gave her a copy Last night.
I read it in the bathtub.
Oh.
Did you like it? Loved it.
Really? Awesome.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
I only have a few notes.
What do you mean notes? You know, Ideas to make the play better.
Spice it up a little bit.
Oh gosh.
You wanna change my play? Wow, I got to go to he's so handsome, Like a pretty pony.
What changes Do you wanna make to my play? Jade.
Well, like, What if when the girl falls down.
Into the well, she sings a song On the way down? It's not a musical.
But it could be, But it's not.
Who sings When they're plunging To the bottom of a well? Batman? I don't think Batman sings.
Look, I'm just trying to help.
Don't get your underpants In a Twist.
I'll Twist your underpants.
Okay.
I think we can all work this out And keep.
Our underpants untwisted.
I don't need anyone's ideas.
Well, you need my money So you have to listen To my suggestions.
No, I don't.
Jade.
You do to.
I do not.
Jade.
Do to.
Lady.
Jade.
I'll smack her.
I don't see you Smacking my money.
You listen are you insane? No, she is.
She is paying For your whole play.
I don't need her input.
Too bad.
That's how show business works.
It seems wrong.
Oh, it is.
Do you want that lady's money Or don't you? Yeah.
Then play nice.
So she sings a song As she falls down the well.
That could work.
No, no.
If you don't like that idea, Then you don't have to do it.
I don't? No.
Mom? Oh, there you are.
Girls, This is my daughter, Daisy.
Say hi to them.
Hi.
More power.
Hi! Hi.
Daisy's going to play A big part in your play.
Wow.
What a great idea.
Say thank you.
Thank you.
More power.
Thank you! Is that what you meant, Nana? I've done good my whole life, And now I'm trapped down in this well.
And I'll probably never get out.
Don't you cry, little girl Down in that well The well where you fell With no secrets to tell You don't have to cry Just believe you can fly And you will fly up Out of that well .
Yes.
That was so good.
She killed it.
Woo! I'm sorry.
I'm confused.
My character can fly now? No.
So then why is my angel Telling me to fly up Out of this well? Because the angel's mother Is a a nice lady.
Who's paying for this play.
That's right.
Sing it again, Daisy.
don't cry don't you cry, little girl hey, Jade.
I was working On the set dressing For the interior of the well.
And I found two different kinds Of moss.
They look like your hair.
Thanks.
This one's called Kentucky red moss.
And this one comes go.
You know, he's only trying To make your play better.
So? So now he's got pee Running down his leg.
I'm not responsible For sinjin's bladder control Or lack of it.
Why are you being Such a baby? Okay.
So you're not getting To do your play Exactly how you want, But at least you're getting To do it.
Mm-hmm.
And how do I explain that what? Tell me.
Hold out your wrist.
I invited my dad To come see my play On opening night.
And? He hates me.
But why would anyone Hate you? He doesn't understand Creative people.
He thinks that wanting To be an actor or writer.
Or director is stupid.
So I invited him to my play 'cause I thought.
It was gonna be really good And, hopefully, Make him finally.
Have some respect for me.
But then You let your restaurant lady Turn it into a joke, Which is just gonna make my dad Think he was absolutely right.
About my dreams being stupid And pointless.
Thank you for ruining my life.
Pfft.
Dads.
Thanks, Tori.
That really helps put things In perspective.
And then? She thanked me For ruining her life.
At least she thanked you.
Give me one.
Two.
What's trina doing? I'm putting avocado On my face To give it a natural glow.
I use male makeup.
You know, Maybe you shouldn't tell So many people about that.
Wait.
Jade's dad's only coming To the play on the first night, Right? Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So then Why don't we just do it The way Jade wrote it.
For that one night? 'cause Mrs.
Lee Is gonna be there And she wants it done her way.
But what if she's not there? I think Cat just said Something pretty smart.
Sorry.
No, it's good.
Come on, come on, come on.
How do we keep Mrs.
Lee From going to the play On opening night? Huh.
Hmm.
Bingo.
You got a plan? No, I don't like this game.
I wanna play bingo.
Wait, wait, wait.
Mrs.
Lee is totally obsessed With celebrities.
Yeah.
If a celebrity walked Into her restaurant.
Right before the play started or a fake celebrity.
My sister loooks like an avocado exploded in her face.
Actually, that would be so cool Feeling: Devious.
Hey.
What? What!? Will you calm down? Sorry, I'm just freaking A little.
There is nothing To worry about.
You guys, I was getting into costume And I dropped my bra.
In the toilet.
Nothing to worry about.
I don't talk like that.
So what do I do About my bra okay.
Now go get ready.
Thank you.
You know, she's so sweet, But sometimes I wonder if There he is, there he is, There he is, there he is, There he is.
Who? My father.
Wow.
He looks kinda like he hates my guts? I was gonna say cold And judgmental.
That works too.
Look, you don't have To freak out.
Your play is gonna happen Exactly how you want it to, And the guys are gonna make sure Mrs.
Lee never gets here.
Okay.
And what about daughter Daisy? No worries.
She's up there In her flying harness, Waiting for her cue.
That's never gonna come.
I'm ready.
"all your wishes Will soon come true.
" Sweet.
"your life will be filled With disappointment.
" Of course.
Mrs.
Lee is about to leave.
Where are they? Well, I texted Andre, but here we go.
Here we go.
Oh.
Is that Jackie Bonay? Jackie Bonay.
Oh my God.
Jackie.
I'm a huge fan.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whoa, okay, sorry.
Come on, guys, Let's back it up.
Who is she? Her? You don't know who she is? Oh, maybe I've seen her Before.
That's Jackie Bonay.
Jackie Bonay? Yeah, she's starring In that huge new movie With Taylor Malone.
Oh, right.
Excuse me, could I get A photograph with you.
For my wall of celebrities? She'll be glad To take a picture with you.
After she's had her dinner.
But I got to go to a play Right now.
She eats fast.
Oh, dang it.
What am I gonna do now? You can't miss getting A picture with Jackie Bonay.
I hear she never eats At the same restaurant twice.
I have also heard that.
Okay.
I'll wait for her To finish her stupid food.
How could this have happened? My grandmother always said That if I was a good person.
That only good things Would happen to me.
Do you think your dad Likes it? It's hard to tell.
I've never seen him Like anything before.
I've done good my whole life, And now I'm trapped.
Down in this well And I'll probably never get out.
Hi.
Come on, Jackie Bonay.
You've been eating For over an hour.
When can I take my picture With you? Soon.
Just Eat slower.
That's it.
I'm leaving.
Oh, no.
Jackie Bonay is having Heart confarction.
Oh God.
Ah, dang it.
I'm out.
Hey, you can't go now.
You better do something.
Oh, yeah.
I'll do something.
Wait.
What about Jackie Bonay? Just drag her body Out by the dumpster.
And don't say nothing to nobody.
Come on, Ariel, breathe.
Breathe.
Mrs.
Lee just left The restaurant.
She's too late.
It's too late.
How is she? She's gone.
What? Dad.
That was awesome.
Thanks.
Great work.
Whatever.
Dad.
Jade.
Just say whether you liked It or not.
Friend of yours? Eh.
So, my play? I thought it was excellent.
Thanks.
Anything else? Would you please Take that jewelry Out of your face? No.
Bye.
Bye.
Well, get what you wanted? Mm-hmm.
I've never seen him Look that happy before.
Come on.
Give Tori a squeeze.
Oh, I miss it? Oh, dang it, I miss it.
It's okay.
You can see it Tomorrow night.
And watch your daughter fly And sing again.
Just like she did tonight.
Oh.
Was my little girl wonderful? Oh, yeah.
She stole the show.
Oh.
I'm ready.
Mom.
Mom.