Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e16 Episode Script
The Date; The Buddies
1 - Should we say hi? - No.
What is he doing here? Leave it! She'll be here, okay? I totally did not get stood up.
And bring me a new candle.
This one's stupid.
Poor Lord Hater.
Are you kidding? This is hilarious.
We got a fancy dinner and a show.
That serves him right for being such a jerk all the time.
Aw, maybe if someone gave him a chance, he wouldn't be so darn evil.
And maybe we should mind our own beeswax.
So he got jilted.
It's not the end of the world.
Hey, Peepers.
Yeah, the king of this stupid planet was totally lying.
His lame daughter was a no-show.
Whatever.
I'm gonna head back to the ship, curl up with a pint of fudgy pudgy vanilla and blow this planet to kingdom come! - Okay, so it is the end of this world.
- Gasp! This is a disaster! We got to find him a replacement date or his self-esteem will drop dramatically! Also, the planet will be doomed! E-easier said than done, Wa-Wa-Wander.
Who in their right mind would go on a date with Lord Hater? I don't have to tip if I just had the bread, right? Oh, no.
I cannot believe that I, a comely single gal, have been stood up.
I feel oh-so rejected and vulnerable.
Hold the countdown.
Things just got interesting.
Click.
You know, getting blown up doesn't seem that bad.
Come on, Syl.
The fate of the planet depends on your sparkling dinner conversation.
All you have to do is make him feel good and confident.
He's coming over.
It's working! It's really not.
Heaven must be missing an angel.
- Because here I am.
- Oh, brother.
Oh! Are you charming.
You have me at a disadvantage.
Obviously, everyone knows me, Lord Hater, hate's great, best villain.
- And you are? - Uh, I don't know.
Linguini von Breadstick.
- Lynn for short.
- Von.
Fancy.
Wait.
Don't I know you? Nope.
I don't think so.
Aren't you the lucky lady about to have the best night of her life? And that's the top-secret origin of the galaxy's greatest dictator.
Me, I'm really quite fascinating, don't you think? Huh? Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Scusi, signorina.
Maybe you like to order something off-a the special menu? Your lightning bolts are so pointy.
I know.
Can you believe I just roll out of bed this way? Let's order, then you can tell me more things you like about me.
It's just dinner.
It's just dinner.
It's just dinner.
So and then on Thursdays, I blast my quads, delts, and quadriplexis.
And a third order of sliders, half rare, half well done.
Oh, did you want something? then the butcher says "not on my dime!" "Not on my dime!" There is a pea touching my potato.
Do it again! Fine! Whatever it takes for this dinner to be over.
Yup.
Dinner's over.
Now we can get on with the rest of the date.
Rest of Step right up.
Everyone's a winner when love is in the air.
- Two, please.
- Hatey's first.
Oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember It's just dinner and a carnival.
It's just dinner and a carnival.
It's just dinner and a carnival.
tonight is going to be an evening you never will forget oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember a night to remember girl, you're gonna love me soon if you love me, we'll ride, we'll romance Yaah! oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember a night to remember girl, you're gonna love me soon even if you don't love me today you're gonna love me soon even if you don't love me yet oh, yeah That was a night to remember.
No matter how hard I try to forget.
You know, Lynn, of all the many, many women I've totally dated, you're the most easily impressed.
I like that.
- Uh, Lord Hater.
- I'm not crying! You're crying! I try so hard, you know.
But I have a big personality.
Gah, I'm such an idiot.
You're so cool and I just want a girl to like me.
Whoo! Yeah! You know what? I don't even want to blow up this stupid planet anymore.
Well, thanks for the memorable night.
We'll do this again.
How about every night for the rest of our lives? Oh, no.
Lynn, say yes.
The thought of spending even one second without you makes me want to blow up all the planets in the universe! What do you say? No pressure.
I always cry at these things.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
Oops! Stupid heels.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to marry this stunning vision of loveliness to some broad he met at a restaurant.
If anyone objects to the marriage of Lord Hater and Linguini von Breadstick, let them speak now or Stop! I object.
I do declare, Lord Hater, I am your number one fan.
I've pined for you from afar for ages, always too afraid to approach.
Oh! But now that I see you in the arms of this cheap horse, no offense, I must say fiddle dee dee to that and say my piece.
Take me instead.
I got you into this mess, I'm gonna get you out.
- By putting yourself into the mess? - It's not a perfect plan.
Ooh, hey.
Awkward.
Ladies, there's no need to fight over me.
When you're the most dynamic overlord in the universe, women are gonna throw themselves at your feet.
I'm Lord Hater.
Why should I settle for a "six" and a "four" when there's a whole galaxy of "tens" seeking the Lord Dater experience? Listen, I've had a swell time, but I forgot about this thing I've got somewhere else.
You've been awesome.
Keep in touch.
Phew! Planet L'amouria is saved, - Hater's regained his confidence - And we're both still single.
I better have been the "six," or I'm gonna go back there and deck him.
Whoo! Free man! Peepers, set a course for ladies.
Whoever we find has got to be better than those two.
You mean Sylvia and Wander in dresses? What?! This is it, Wander! This is where our wretched rivalry finally ends.
Peepers! Activate the portal to the pit of perpetual pain.
- Ooh, pretty! - It's not pretty! It's a portal to the prison dimension where I have banished my most despised enemies! - Say good-bye, Wander.
- Hello - No, not hello, good-bye - Sylvia.
Huh? 'Sup.
Get her! Uh-oh.
This is bad! Don't worry, Hater! I'll save you.
This is worse! Wander! 'Sup.
Oh, grop.
Ugh, smells like zombie armpits down here.
Zombie Armpits.
Good name for a band.
Come in, Peepers, you've got to get me out of here.
You have no idea how horrible this place is.
Man, I'd hate to be the guy who has to stay here for all eternity.
Peepers? No, what the Dude, what the Hey, hey, hey! Don't be mean, we don't have to be mean.
Huh? Wander? That you? What the heck are you doing here? Both: Hey, it's Wander! - Hey, look who's back, boys.
- Hurray, it's Wander! Hey, where have you been, Wander? You you know these guys? Know him? He helped me start up my used bookstore.
He taught me how to whistle.
He helped me deal with my violent tendencies.
Man, oh man, fellas, it sure has been a while.
What the heck you all been up to? Well, I was a small business owner until somebody destroyed my bookstore, all because I told him his novel wasn't selling well! So he threw me in here! Stop! I can't have some of my friends hurting my other friends.
Whoa, Hater is your friend? Oh, yeah, he may be the ultimate evil and all, - but I know deep down inside - No! I totally hate this guy! I mean totally hate! I would never want to be apart from a good friend like him.
Right back at you, buddy.
If you're friends, prove it.
- Best bud handshake? - Oh, yeah, totally our "best bud bro" shake that we do, like, all the time.
Let's do it.
hit me high, hit me low make a turtle, man, he's slow right hand left, left hand right do a twirl, outta sight! cookies in the oven, let 'em bake and that's how you do the best buds shake Ta-da! Okay, guess you are best buds.
But you best not be joshin'! Yes, sure, no way, no joshin'.
Best buds.
Best buds.
Agh, Lord Hater, no.
You are too powerful and awesome and I'm all dumb and dying now.
Agh! Wah-ha-ha-ha.
Yes, Lord Hater, number one superstar.
Sorry, Hatey, bo-batey.
I tried to rustle us up some grub.
But they got the last one.
Literally.
So hopefully, this will help manage those munchies.
You expect me to eat this wonderful meal you've prepared for me, oh, pal of mine.
rise and shine, it's such a lovely morning it's gonna be a perfect day but if it should get rainy without warning we'll still be best buds anyway happiness is all around us I sure hope this feeling never ends we're best friends forever in all kinds of weather morning, noon and night yeah, we'll always be together eternity is gonna be so awesome 'cause together we're the best of friends our friendship is like skipping through the flowers dancing and giggling with glee so much better than my evil powers friendship makes my heart soar free you can make my heart fill up with sunshine and rainbows are just around the bend we're best friends forever in all kinds of weather like kitty cats and puppies we're birds of a feather oh, something something something something 'cause forever we're the best of friends! 'cause forever we're the best of friends! Phew! Something, something, best of friends Huh? Move it, buddy, we got to go.
We're not safe out here.
Whoa! Hey! Buddy little help? Oh, it's gonna be a perfect day Grab a buddy.
Assemble the chain.
Huh? Whoa! Hater, come on! Grab your buddy! - Oh, no, he's too far.
- You have to save him.
Being consumed by a sand snapper is the most painful demise imaginable.
That good, huh? Fine, grab my hand.
Grab my hand? Buddy.
Whoa! This place is amazing ly horrible.
But at least I know there is good in you.
'Cause together we're the best of friends I am in a prison.
A prison of sunshine.
Finally! Way to go, Peepers.
- Buddy? - No! I'm not your buddy! I never was! I was totally joshin'! I was totally joshin'! Take me home! Yes! Yes! Yeees! Uh, Peepers? Sylvia: Hold on, buddy, I'm getting you out of there! Oh, man, am I glad to see you, good buddy.
Wander, what are you doing? He may not be my buddy, but I'm still his.
Ha-ha! See you never, you smelly Matter of fact, so are the rest of those guys.
they're all my buddies! Uh-oh.
Later, Hate buddy.
But I thought we were buds.
Hater: Ah! I was kidding again!
What is he doing here? Leave it! She'll be here, okay? I totally did not get stood up.
And bring me a new candle.
This one's stupid.
Poor Lord Hater.
Are you kidding? This is hilarious.
We got a fancy dinner and a show.
That serves him right for being such a jerk all the time.
Aw, maybe if someone gave him a chance, he wouldn't be so darn evil.
And maybe we should mind our own beeswax.
So he got jilted.
It's not the end of the world.
Hey, Peepers.
Yeah, the king of this stupid planet was totally lying.
His lame daughter was a no-show.
Whatever.
I'm gonna head back to the ship, curl up with a pint of fudgy pudgy vanilla and blow this planet to kingdom come! - Okay, so it is the end of this world.
- Gasp! This is a disaster! We got to find him a replacement date or his self-esteem will drop dramatically! Also, the planet will be doomed! E-easier said than done, Wa-Wa-Wander.
Who in their right mind would go on a date with Lord Hater? I don't have to tip if I just had the bread, right? Oh, no.
I cannot believe that I, a comely single gal, have been stood up.
I feel oh-so rejected and vulnerable.
Hold the countdown.
Things just got interesting.
Click.
You know, getting blown up doesn't seem that bad.
Come on, Syl.
The fate of the planet depends on your sparkling dinner conversation.
All you have to do is make him feel good and confident.
He's coming over.
It's working! It's really not.
Heaven must be missing an angel.
- Because here I am.
- Oh, brother.
Oh! Are you charming.
You have me at a disadvantage.
Obviously, everyone knows me, Lord Hater, hate's great, best villain.
- And you are? - Uh, I don't know.
Linguini von Breadstick.
- Lynn for short.
- Von.
Fancy.
Wait.
Don't I know you? Nope.
I don't think so.
Aren't you the lucky lady about to have the best night of her life? And that's the top-secret origin of the galaxy's greatest dictator.
Me, I'm really quite fascinating, don't you think? Huh? Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Scusi, signorina.
Maybe you like to order something off-a the special menu? Your lightning bolts are so pointy.
I know.
Can you believe I just roll out of bed this way? Let's order, then you can tell me more things you like about me.
It's just dinner.
It's just dinner.
It's just dinner.
So and then on Thursdays, I blast my quads, delts, and quadriplexis.
And a third order of sliders, half rare, half well done.
Oh, did you want something? then the butcher says "not on my dime!" "Not on my dime!" There is a pea touching my potato.
Do it again! Fine! Whatever it takes for this dinner to be over.
Yup.
Dinner's over.
Now we can get on with the rest of the date.
Rest of Step right up.
Everyone's a winner when love is in the air.
- Two, please.
- Hatey's first.
Oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember It's just dinner and a carnival.
It's just dinner and a carnival.
It's just dinner and a carnival.
tonight is going to be an evening you never will forget oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember a night to remember girl, you're gonna love me soon if you love me, we'll ride, we'll romance Yaah! oh, tonight is going to be a night to remember a night to remember girl, you're gonna love me soon even if you don't love me today you're gonna love me soon even if you don't love me yet oh, yeah That was a night to remember.
No matter how hard I try to forget.
You know, Lynn, of all the many, many women I've totally dated, you're the most easily impressed.
I like that.
- Uh, Lord Hater.
- I'm not crying! You're crying! I try so hard, you know.
But I have a big personality.
Gah, I'm such an idiot.
You're so cool and I just want a girl to like me.
Whoo! Yeah! You know what? I don't even want to blow up this stupid planet anymore.
Well, thanks for the memorable night.
We'll do this again.
How about every night for the rest of our lives? Oh, no.
Lynn, say yes.
The thought of spending even one second without you makes me want to blow up all the planets in the universe! What do you say? No pressure.
I always cry at these things.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
It's just dinner and a carnival and a lifetime of misery.
Oops! Stupid heels.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered today to marry this stunning vision of loveliness to some broad he met at a restaurant.
If anyone objects to the marriage of Lord Hater and Linguini von Breadstick, let them speak now or Stop! I object.
I do declare, Lord Hater, I am your number one fan.
I've pined for you from afar for ages, always too afraid to approach.
Oh! But now that I see you in the arms of this cheap horse, no offense, I must say fiddle dee dee to that and say my piece.
Take me instead.
I got you into this mess, I'm gonna get you out.
- By putting yourself into the mess? - It's not a perfect plan.
Ooh, hey.
Awkward.
Ladies, there's no need to fight over me.
When you're the most dynamic overlord in the universe, women are gonna throw themselves at your feet.
I'm Lord Hater.
Why should I settle for a "six" and a "four" when there's a whole galaxy of "tens" seeking the Lord Dater experience? Listen, I've had a swell time, but I forgot about this thing I've got somewhere else.
You've been awesome.
Keep in touch.
Phew! Planet L'amouria is saved, - Hater's regained his confidence - And we're both still single.
I better have been the "six," or I'm gonna go back there and deck him.
Whoo! Free man! Peepers, set a course for ladies.
Whoever we find has got to be better than those two.
You mean Sylvia and Wander in dresses? What?! This is it, Wander! This is where our wretched rivalry finally ends.
Peepers! Activate the portal to the pit of perpetual pain.
- Ooh, pretty! - It's not pretty! It's a portal to the prison dimension where I have banished my most despised enemies! - Say good-bye, Wander.
- Hello - No, not hello, good-bye - Sylvia.
Huh? 'Sup.
Get her! Uh-oh.
This is bad! Don't worry, Hater! I'll save you.
This is worse! Wander! 'Sup.
Oh, grop.
Ugh, smells like zombie armpits down here.
Zombie Armpits.
Good name for a band.
Come in, Peepers, you've got to get me out of here.
You have no idea how horrible this place is.
Man, I'd hate to be the guy who has to stay here for all eternity.
Peepers? No, what the Dude, what the Hey, hey, hey! Don't be mean, we don't have to be mean.
Huh? Wander? That you? What the heck are you doing here? Both: Hey, it's Wander! - Hey, look who's back, boys.
- Hurray, it's Wander! Hey, where have you been, Wander? You you know these guys? Know him? He helped me start up my used bookstore.
He taught me how to whistle.
He helped me deal with my violent tendencies.
Man, oh man, fellas, it sure has been a while.
What the heck you all been up to? Well, I was a small business owner until somebody destroyed my bookstore, all because I told him his novel wasn't selling well! So he threw me in here! Stop! I can't have some of my friends hurting my other friends.
Whoa, Hater is your friend? Oh, yeah, he may be the ultimate evil and all, - but I know deep down inside - No! I totally hate this guy! I mean totally hate! I would never want to be apart from a good friend like him.
Right back at you, buddy.
If you're friends, prove it.
- Best bud handshake? - Oh, yeah, totally our "best bud bro" shake that we do, like, all the time.
Let's do it.
hit me high, hit me low make a turtle, man, he's slow right hand left, left hand right do a twirl, outta sight! cookies in the oven, let 'em bake and that's how you do the best buds shake Ta-da! Okay, guess you are best buds.
But you best not be joshin'! Yes, sure, no way, no joshin'.
Best buds.
Best buds.
Agh, Lord Hater, no.
You are too powerful and awesome and I'm all dumb and dying now.
Agh! Wah-ha-ha-ha.
Yes, Lord Hater, number one superstar.
Sorry, Hatey, bo-batey.
I tried to rustle us up some grub.
But they got the last one.
Literally.
So hopefully, this will help manage those munchies.
You expect me to eat this wonderful meal you've prepared for me, oh, pal of mine.
rise and shine, it's such a lovely morning it's gonna be a perfect day but if it should get rainy without warning we'll still be best buds anyway happiness is all around us I sure hope this feeling never ends we're best friends forever in all kinds of weather morning, noon and night yeah, we'll always be together eternity is gonna be so awesome 'cause together we're the best of friends our friendship is like skipping through the flowers dancing and giggling with glee so much better than my evil powers friendship makes my heart soar free you can make my heart fill up with sunshine and rainbows are just around the bend we're best friends forever in all kinds of weather like kitty cats and puppies we're birds of a feather oh, something something something something 'cause forever we're the best of friends! 'cause forever we're the best of friends! Phew! Something, something, best of friends Huh? Move it, buddy, we got to go.
We're not safe out here.
Whoa! Hey! Buddy little help? Oh, it's gonna be a perfect day Grab a buddy.
Assemble the chain.
Huh? Whoa! Hater, come on! Grab your buddy! - Oh, no, he's too far.
- You have to save him.
Being consumed by a sand snapper is the most painful demise imaginable.
That good, huh? Fine, grab my hand.
Grab my hand? Buddy.
Whoa! This place is amazing ly horrible.
But at least I know there is good in you.
'Cause together we're the best of friends I am in a prison.
A prison of sunshine.
Finally! Way to go, Peepers.
- Buddy? - No! I'm not your buddy! I never was! I was totally joshin'! I was totally joshin'! Take me home! Yes! Yes! Yeees! Uh, Peepers? Sylvia: Hold on, buddy, I'm getting you out of there! Oh, man, am I glad to see you, good buddy.
Wander, what are you doing? He may not be my buddy, but I'm still his.
Ha-ha! See you never, you smelly Matter of fact, so are the rest of those guys.
they're all my buddies! Uh-oh.
Later, Hate buddy.
But I thought we were buds.
Hater: Ah! I was kidding again!