Who's the Boss? (1984) s01e16 Episode Script

If you don't mind, sir, I will announce you to Mrs.
Randolf.
Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
Go do your thing.
- Excuse me, ma'am.
- Yes, Leo? Another applicant for the housekeeper's position.
And how does she look? A little butch, ma'am.
Hey, how are you doing? You must be Mrs.
Randolf.
Hey, nice set of wheels.
Let me move you over here near the sun.
It'll be better over near the sun.
What do you think? Is that better? - Leo, who is this man? - I'm Tony.
Tony Micelli.
I tried to tell him, Mrs.
R.
We want a maid, not a chauffeur.
- We already have a chauffeur.
- I know, Leo.
Why don't you go wax something? I thought you'd never ask.
That's a fun guy.
Listen, Mrs.
Randolf, I know you probably thought you were gonna get a housekeeper a little bit more dainty than me.
But I swear I'll do a good job, and I've got experience.
I've been working for Angela Bower.
You know her? - Would that be the Bar Harbor Bowers? - No.
That's the Oakhills Drive Bowers.
- Oh, the south side of town.
- Yeah, well, Angela's terrific.
- I mean, Mrs.
Bower.
- Oh, I see.
Well, I want you to know that I have a strict policy with my help.
I do not fooI around.
Mrs.
R, what, are you kidding me or what? It was nothing like that.
See, I always thought Angela was divorced, untiI about a week ago.
Hey, Angela, who is this clown? This clown is my husband.
- Husband? - Yeah, you know, husband.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got the picture.
Wait a minute.
- Angela, you said you were divorced.
- I don't think I ever said that, Tony because I'm not.
Not yet.
MichaeI, you can't live like this, and I can't live like that.
So it's over? Right.
Angela? Rise and shine! Time to sell all those things to America they can't afford! What the hell's going on here? Hi.
You know, it's funny.
It sounds like you're giving me two weeks notice.
If you need that long.
I'll miss you.
So that's about it.
I mean, I didn't want to go and Angela didn't want me to leave but I think it was the right thing to do.
What do you think, Mrs.
R? I think you'd better get me out of the sun.
I don't want to wrinkle.
Angela, how about some tea? Oh, I don't feeI like any.
Oh, MichaeI, you made tea.
I'd love some.
I didn't know you were working.
We can do it later.
- It's okay.
I can take a break.
- That's okay.
- Your work is more important.
- No, you are.
I want us to be together.
- We'll be together later.
- MichaeI! I'd like the tea now, honey.
Whatever you say, sweetheart.
There was a time when it would have bothered you that I was working on a Saturday.
Well, you're looking at the new, improved MichaeI.
I respect you, and I respect your work.
Besides, you don't do this every Saturday.
Do you? Not anymore.
What do I have to do to get a bellhop, huh? Mother.
Welcome home.
Sweetheart.
- How was Fort Lauderdale? - Cold, windy, rainy.
- Everybody left but me and Freddie.
- Who's Freddie? Hurricane Freddie.
Don't you read the papers? You know the Fountainbleu? It did.
The HoteI Fountainbleu is not in Fort Lauderdale.
It is now.
So where's my Grover? Here's my boy.
Come here, sweetie.
Did you miss me? Huh? Did you get my postcard? Hey, sweetie.
Look, I brought you a bone.
Pick it up.
There's a good boy.
Go bury it.
Okay, so don't worry.
I brought you something too.
Hey, how's that, huh? Oh, Mother.
Oh, Mother, a coconut head.
Bloomingdale's has been out of these for months.
And shark's teeth here for Jonathan.
And puka shells for Samantha.
And I did have something for you, MichaeI but they wouldn't let me bring a stingray on the plane.
And here we go for Tony, we got a beach toweI.
As always, Mother, in perfect taste.
He'll love it.
Where is he? - Well, Mother- - The thing is- Yeah, Mother, he's kind of looking for a job.
He quit? No, no, no, we kind of let him go.
Are you out of your bird? Oh, Mother, everything's going to be fine.
We'll have someone in to clean once a week, and I'll do the cooking.
Angela the only thing you know about a kitchen is that someone's in there with Dinah.
I'm going to help with the cooking.
We're going to share everything.
How liberated.
Well, I'll eat out.
Oh, it's going to be so nice with little cozy family dinners.
We'll have lots of time to be alone together.
It's going to be great.
It's great just thinking about how great it's going to be.
First, airplane food, and now this.
Listen, have you two thought what this is going to do to Tony? Come on, Mother, don't worry about it.
He's going to be fine.
- He'll get another job.
- Doing what, pray tell? Angela, it means he's going to have to move back to Brooklyn tear Samantha out of schooI pull her away from her little playmates and take her to a dark cramped apartment with disgusting graffiti all over the wall where her only playground is the means streets of a heartless city.
Angela- I got a job! Tony, you can't leave Connecticut! You can't do this to Samantha.
She deserves better.
She deserves a good home and a nice schooI and green grass to play on and little friends.
She'll have that and more.
She'll have indoorloutdoor tennis courts, two pools, riding stables and the whole west wing of a building that makes this one look a little dowdy.
You are looking at Mrs.
Wilfred Randolf III's personaI companion and household manager.
Well, like I said, Angela, he can do better than this dump.
Tony, how are you going to clean all those rooms? Mona, I'm the supervisor.
I got people to do that.
There's Bridget, the upstairs maid there's Monique, the downstairs maid and then there's Cecily in the kitchen.
You know, if I had a pipe, I'd be Hugh Hefner.
Yeah, you know, it sounds good now but Tony, you're going to get tired of that in 30 or 40 years.
Yeah, sure.
If you move, how are you going to teach me to throw a spitball? Jonathan, we're in the same neighbourhood.
You're just in the poor section.
Come on, there's another load upstairs.
- I'll get it.
- No, no, no.
Please, allow me.
Just for old times' sake.
Hey, Leo.
What's shaking, man? Shaking, sir? If you mean what's going down, Mrs.
Randolf sent me to collect your belongings.
Well, they're all here.
Leo, didn't I meet you at the toga party at the Delta House? If you say so, ma'am.
Come on, Leo, here they go.
Good, sir.
I hate to leave the Bentley unattended in this neighbourhood.
My mother will walk you to the car so you don't get mugged.
Oh, goodie, the buddy system.
- Tony.
- What? Could I see you in the kitchen for a minute? - Yeah, sure.
Here, Leo.
- Very good, sir.
I'll put your matching luggage in the limo.
Yeah, what's the problem? - Nothing.
Nothing.
I just had a quick question about the new toaster oven.
Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Go ahead, shoot.
Well, when do you toast and when do you top brown? Well, that depends.
What are you making, Angela? Well, let's say it was something like a Pop Tart.
- A what? - A Pop Tart, okay? I'm making a Pop Tart.
Angela, I'm not even out of the house yet.
Before you know it, this guy'll have you hooked on Crunchy Crawlers.
You toast it, Angela.
You toast it.
Okay.
Well, what do you do about the frosting? Well, if you really want to be a gourmet you toast it for a while, then add a dab of butter then top brown it for the last 10 seconds.
Well, maybe I should write that down.
Are you sure you'll be all right here without me? - Tony.
- Let me show you - how this whole place works.
- I know how my own kitchen works.
- I was just confused by the frosting.
- All right, all right, all right.
You know how to work this self-cleaning oven, right? Come on, Tony, you're not trying to tell me that this oven really cleans itself? - What are you reading? - An absolutely worthless campaign that I can't show to the client.
I thought we agreed no working after dinner.
I would have been through working before dinner if I wasn't so busy making dinner on your night to make dinner.
I'm sorry.
I missed my stop.
MichaeI, you found the lost tribe of Tanzania.
Why can't you find a way home to Connecticut? You know what I did all day? I edited a film called Lions, Nature's Pride.
You know what lions do most of the time? Chase zebras and audition for MGM? No, Angela, they sleep.
And I watched them, frame by frame, for 81 I2 hours.
It is very boring.
It was dark, and I fell asleep on the train on the way home.
I missed my stop.
I'm sorry.
I'll make dinner tomorrow night, okay? Okay, okay.
I'm sorry too.
We've both had a long day.
Yeah.
But now is our time.
Now, how about putting the work away, huh? You're right.
Well, what do you want to do? MichaeI, don't you want to talk or something? Yeah, sure, let's talk, okay.
What do you want to talk about? Well, how was your day? - The lions - Oh, right, sleeping.
- Well, hey, this is pretty terrific, huh? - Oh, this is terrific.
Well, I'm all talked out.
Do you want to fooI around? It's probably your office.
Again.
I'll go turn on the answering machine.
- Hi.
This is Angela - And Michael Bower.
- Together again.
- Together again.
- Leave a message at the tone.
- Yeah, we'll call you back.
Hi, Angela.
This is Jim Peterson from the office.
I was wondering what you thought of the Scrubbo campaign.
I think it stinks.
Well, I can see you're not home.
I guess you lik ed it, or I would have heard from you, right? Wrong.
I hate it.
I think it's garbage.
Yeah, I'm kind of fond of it myself.
WonderfuI.
He thinks it's fine.
Come on, you're getting worked up over nothing.
Nothing? Nothing? You can't appeaI to today's consumer with a slogan like: " Kitchen woes? Use Scrubbos.
" - It's just a scouring pad.
It may be just a scouring pad to you but it happens to be a very important account to me.
Why don't you answer that? It's probably for you.
I'm going to take a walk.
- Hi.
This is Angela - And Michael Bower.
- Together again.
- Together again.
- Leave a message at the tone.
- Yeah, we'll call you back.
Hey, guys, it's me, Tony.
Together again, huh? Well, I guess you're not home.
Or else you're there and you're too busy to come to the phone.
Well, guys, duty calls.
I just wanted to call and see how you lovebirds were doing.
Bye.
Hey, Mrs.
Randolf, you were great today.
Oh, it's been fun.
I haven't been bowling for years.
Yeah, I bet a lot's changed since then, huh? Well, one thing is the same.
You can push that little light as much as you want and you still can't get a waitress to bring you a beer.
Well, how about some tea? Oh, it's not the same.
But I guess it is tea time.
- It's tea time, ma'am.
- What did I tell you? Shall I remove that bowling ball or will you be needing it later again this evening? That's a good idea.
Here you go.
- Gotcha.
- So you did, sir.
I like Leo.
He's a good guy.
By the way, Mrs.
R I'm really sorry about getting us back so late.
Oh, don't be.
I enjoyed the ride.
Especially when we drove by Angela's house four times.
Four times.
Really.
Just seemed like three to me.
Tony, I just want you to know you've done a really great job.
Since you've been here, I feeI 75 again.
Let me tell you, you're looking great, baby.
The house is spotless, and the staff has never been happier especially Cecily.
Well, you know, I'm a people person, you know.
But we could get along without you, young man.
Oh, no, not again.
Don't tell me.
Your husband's coming home from the jungle? No.
It's just that I think there are some people in that little cottage we drove by that mean a lot to you.
- Why don't you just go pay a visit.
- No, I can't go back there, Mrs.
R.
Just a visit.
Take them some canned goods.
Mother I don't understand it.
I don't know how Tony gets the mashed potatoes so fluffy.
I think he cooks them first.
- I'll get it.
- Oh, thanks.
- Tennis, anyone? - Tennis, anyone? - Hi.
- Hi, Mona.
Oh, Jonathan, someone's here to see you.
Who is it? - Hi, Jonathan.
- Samantha! - So how you doing? - Okay.
- Did you miss me? - Not really.
Me neither.
You wanna go look at some of my new baseball cards? Okay! He's been talking about her all week long.
Yeah? Has he mentioned me? - Angela.
- Tony! - Hi.
- How you doing? - Me? I'm great.
I'm really great.
- Me too.
Me too.
So things are working out great for you and MichaeI, huh? Oh, working out? It's bliss.
Yeah, we got bliss coming out our ears.
I was- I was looking for- I was kind of looking for a little tennis match.
Tony, I'd love to, but I've got a casserole in the oven.
- You? - Yeah.
And I'm making mashed potatoes.
I'm boiling them first.
A regular Betty Crocker.
- So how's work? - Don't ask.
We've run into a brick wall on that Scrubbo campaign.
No kidding.
Why? Scrubbo's a good product.
It does twice the work in half the time.
That's not bad.
Maybe I should write that down.
Don't worry about it.
You'll come up with something.
You always do.
Thank you.
Thank you for the encouragement.
It's nice to talk to somebody who cares.
- What, MichaeI cares.
- Yeah, MichaeI cares, about me.
It's my career he doesn't give a damn about.
I don't think he likes it when I bring my work home.
Yeah? Well, what's his problem? I mean, it's not like you work at the morgue.
Oh, Tony.
It's just I think he'd rather I stay home.
Quit my job, and maybe stay here and cook and clean- You know, a lot of people do that.
Hey, look, I'm just the ex-housekeeper here but I think you're perfect just the way you are.
- Perfect? - Well, yeah, you know, perfect.
I mean, all you need now is riding stables a swimming pooI, a place for my polo pony - Great dinner, Angela.
- Thank you.
Potatoes were fantastic.
Too bad the casserole blew up.
It's all right.
The oven cleans itself.
- MichaeI- - Angela- - Go ahead.
- No, no, no.
Please, after you.
MichaeI, speak! Well, Angela there is this expedition that's going to Zimbabwe.
- And? - And my company's asked me - to recommend somebody to film it.
- And? And there are a couple of guys who could do it but there is one guy who could really pull it off.
You're leaving.
Angela, I love you, but you know how hard it is for me to sit behind a desk? My only reason for being here is to be with you.
But if you're so busy and I love what you're doing, that you can't be with me then I'd rather be where I'd rather be.
So I'm going to Zimbabwe.
MichaeI, I can't believe this.
I was just going to say the same thing.
- You're going to Zimbabwe too? - No, no.
No, no, no, I mean about us.
It can't work, I agree.
Angela, you don't have to say this just to let me off the hook.
- No, no, I mean it.
- If you're sore and angry, I understand.
No, no, no, I was going to dump you first.
Really? Really, it doesn't matter who was going to say it first but the point is, it's over.
I mean, we could try to make it work.
I could quit my job, ask you to stay.
I think we'd both resent it and then we'd end up hating each other.
And I love you much too much to ever let that happen.
I'm awfully glad we tried again.
- Could we tell Jonathan together? - Yeah, I'd like that.
I've been putting this off for a long time - where are those divorce papers? - They're upstairs in the bedroom.
- Want to go sign them right now? - Let's go.
Well, why don't I go upstairs and bring them down myself.
Come in.
It's open.
Hi.
Tony.
Well, hi.
What are you doing here? I stopped around to see how you were doing.
Oh, me? I'm great.
I'm fine.
- So MichaeI's gone, huh? - How did you know? He called me.
He called me to say goodbye.
- Told me I should take care of you.
- What did you say? I told him you could take care of yourself, that's what.
Well, yeah, you're right.
Thanks a lot, Tony.
He agreed with me.
But obviously we were both wrong.
Look at this place.
It's a pit.
You're a lousy folder too, Angela.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Does this mean you're back? Yup? Well, I didn't ask you back.
Well, MichaeI did.
And he said I should start right away.
- What else did MichaeI say? - He said I got a raise.
A big one.
All right, Tony, I said I was sorry.
- I thought the ball was long.
- It was a drop shot, Angela.
Well, he disguised it well.
I'll just have you know, you cost us the match.
Now I know why they tell you never to play doubles with your housekeeper.
Oh, boy, do I love winning.
You and your partner.
I've never seen anything like that guy.
Gee, he's the most competitive, vicious tennis player I ever saw in my life.
You'd think the guy was at Wimbledon the way he was diving for those balls.
Great game, Leo.
Nice playing with you.
Well, that was very nice of him, Leo.
Nice guys finish last, sir.
Leo, let's go up to my place and pop some champagne, huh? I hope you didn't hurt anything when you leaped over the net.
Tony, I have to hand it to you.
You really are a good sport.
- I am, huh? - Tony, where are you going? Outside to steaI the hubcaps off that guy's Bentley.
- Tony! - What? - Can I help? - You bet.
Come on.