Batman (1966) s01e17 Episode Script

Batman Another glorious sun drenched day in Gotham City.
A fitting day for nuptials, exhibits, or grand theft.
"Look out, cops, I here by crown myself.
Signed False Face.
" Yes, he's back again.
That infamous criminal master of trickery and disguise.
I am the Princess Mergenberg.
What is this I hear? My crown will be stolen? Oh, we'll keep it safe for you, Your Highness.
Oh, is so? Then what is this? "All that glitters is gone.
" Shouldn't that be, all that glitters is gold? Oh, that's the trademark of False Face, a false quote.
'But the crown is here and safe.
' Not quite, Chief O'Hara It's False Face.
In disguised person.
Stop! Thief.
An inflatable cape.
She must be an accomplice.
After the man.
Police are hot on our trail.
Then we'll cool them down.
Uh, so False Face is back and up to his old tricks, eh? Disguised as a Princess Mergenberg he and his accomplice the beautiful Blaze tried for the crown.
And failed.
A false top.
Plastic The crown.
phony.
Utterly worthless.
False Face has struck deviously and ruthlessly.
Can't we stop this master of devilish disguises? Commissioner, there's only one man living who can unmask False Face.
Chief O'Hara, you've said it for all of us.
Our only hope is that towering power for right and justice the Caped Crusader.
I'll call him, sir.
Pine.
Elm.
Hickory.
Gosh, botany is tough.
I'll never learn to recognize all these trees.
Come, come, Dick.
Pine, elm, hickory, chestnut, maple.
.
part of our heritage is the more of living things.
The story book of nature.
That's true, Bruce.
I'll learn to read that book of nature, yes.
Begging your pardon, sir.
It's the Bat-phone.
Jiminy.
What are we waiting for? Oh, Dick, I found one of your specimens.
Thanks a million, Aunt Harriet, but we were just going to, uh.
.
Uh, ramble in the woods, Aunt Harriet.
Uh, nature in the raw, so to speak.
Oh.
Yes, commissioner.
Prepare yourself for a shock.
It's False Face.
He's struck again.
We're on our way.
To the Bat-poles.
Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na na na na na Batman And I'm afraid it won't stop for the Mergenberg crown worth a million though it is.
This is only the first droplet in a virtual wave of crime.
Jiminy, yes.
False Face always plans big.
Crooked but king size.
All too true, Boy Wonder.
Messenger here for Batman.
Alright, are you Batman, sunny? I am.
"I intend to give money "to a defenseless little girl, signed, F.
F.
" I'd wager that's some sort of a code.
It is.
False Face always says, the opposite of what he means.
Then I intend to give money means, he intends to take money.
But what defenseless little girl? Confusing, eh, sunny? Not really.
The victim is neither little nor a girl nor defenseless.
Opposite of girl's a boy.
The opposite of defenseless.
.
Say, wearing armor? That's it.
Of course.
The Ladd Armored Car Company Holy bouncing boiler plated, it fits.
Ladd as in boy.
Armored for defense.
A big truck full of money.
That's it, You've got it.
I have more than that.
Unless I miss my gaze, you are.
.
Blaze.
False Face's trusted assistant at your service.
You've got quite a grip there, Caped Crusader.
Sound mind in a sound body.
A necessity in the relentless war against crime And speaking of crime, why'd False Face send you here? False Face, challenges you 'to prove that he's committed a crime.
' And if you do, to catch him.
And me.
It's too late.
Blaze.
She's as elusive as a flickering flame.
I bet that's how she earned her nick name.
I warrant, she'll snuff out her fiery criminal career.
To the Ladd Armored Car Company, let's go.
Are you all assembled? The counterfeit crew ready and on duty, False Face.
Good! First, men, I succeeded in lifting the Mergenberg crown.
You've done it again, FF.
Only the beginning.
Blaze, my trusted assistant.
.
has succeeded in starting of step two of my overall plan.
Boys, we are about to double-dizzy Batman and Robin until the Dexterous Duo is duped, decoyed and diabolically destroyed! I've planned the greatest creation of my covert criminal career.
False Face will stamp his disguise imaged on all Gotham City.
Today Gotham City, tomorrow the world.
Three cheers for F.
F.
Hurray! Hurray! Hurray! Thanks, men.
I know you didn't mean.
But back to business.
Batman and Robin must go.
Batman and Robin, why it isn't often that a simple business man's honored by a visit from the champion of justice and his youthful associate.
How can I help you? Rather it's we who can help you, Mr.
Ladd.
We have reason to believe that one of your armored trucks maybe in danger.
Good heavens.
I've received word that one of my trucks is late.
And it's due at the Gotham City National Bank to pick up a huge shipment of money.
I wouldn't be surprised if False Face with his spoke in that set of wheels.
- Right.
- May I use your telephone? 'Oh, yes, of course.
' Commissioner Gordon, please.
This is Batman speaking.
Commissioner, There's no time to explain.
Dispatch as many spare men as possible to Gotham City National Bank immediately.
Mr.
Ladd, we'll keep you informed and let you know just as soon as your missing money truck is found.
Bless you, Batman.
Every law abiding citizen of Gotham City goes with you today in spirit.
And if it were possible, in body.
Batman and Robin.
Come to make a deposit? No, we've come to prevent a withdrawal.
By False Face.
What? False Face, notorious criminal? Master of disguise? We better put the money in the truck before it's too late, pal.
It's already too late.
- False Face! - What? Right, that's False Face himself in disguised person.
Yeah, what makes you so sure? If's obvious.
Only a criminal would disguise himself as licensed bonded guard yet callously park in front of a fire hydrant.
It's always the little things.
This time it'll cost you a big penalty, False Face.
We're going to withdraw you from circulation and deposit you in jail.
Well, Boy Wonder, you're interest is over due.
Thank you, Batman.
.
for breaking into my trap.
Batman, it's Blaze in the Batmobile.
Ugh! Oh, you're so strong.
I urge you to abandon this life of crime, Blaze before it's too late.
It's already too late, Batman.
Holy Houdini! Another deft escape by that master of disguise and deceit.
But where can False Face be? Saint's alive! It's False Face.
Disguised as me self.
Right you are, O'Hara.
Welcome, to dreamland.
Alright, take off.
Everything's under control, chief.
Good work.
This paper that False Face used to print his message it's rather special.
Tensile resistance 85.
Holy armored plate.
This' about the strongest stuff I've ever seen.
As I suspected.
it out, Batman.
I think a little session with a Bat-analyst might clarify things, Robin.
Uh, I-I seem to be short of cash.
Alfred, have you a dollar bill? Certainly, sir.
- There.
- Thank you.
By focusing ultraviolet light and applying the principles of controlled fluorescent diffraction we can readily discern.
.
Why False Face printed his message on the same kind of paper they used to make money.
But what use could he make of that paper? To make money, his kind of money, counterfeit money.
Will the man stop at nothing? This paper is made by a top secret government process indeed only a few people outside the official bank note printing company are aware that it's the only paper that cannot be counterfeited.
Uh-huh! - You found something? - The solution, sir? The sizethe material it all fits.
This is official bank note paper.
False Face must have penetrated the official bank note printing company.
And if he has plans of counterfeiting I'll bet he'll go back there for more special paper.
But we will be there before he is.
To the Batmobile.
Alfred, please inform Mrs.
Cooper that we maybe late for supper this evening.
Very good, sir.
There's nobody here.
Not so far.
But if someone should arrive I think we should be out of sight.
Excuse me, do you have a light? Why, certainly.
But smoking is forbidden in the bank note paper room.
What department are you in, miss? Removal.
You see, my curious friend, we need this paper.
Quickly, move this into the trick truck.
- Hey, Batman.
- And Robin.
We've been found out! No, you don't, Blaze.
I have the answer to that little thing.
I knewsooner or later you would over come my bag of tricks.
Let the flat guards clean up these beauties.
I wanna interrogate, Blaze.
Let me down.
You must excuse Chief O'Hara, he has an agonizing toothache and finds it very difficult to speak.
I can hardly recognize his voice.
- Mmm.
- I hope it gets better, chief.
She's awakened.
Well, miss, it seems we've apprehended you.
You? Scarcely.
Batman captured me.
Only the nemesis of crime could have tripped up Blaze so deftly.
Blaze, we've deduced False Face's intent to counterfeit money.
We must know where he intends to perform the printing.
So, you're in on the counterfeiting caper.
Very clever, Caped Crusader.
But I know that's only part of his overall plan.
'We must have details of complete plot.
' 'How? Where? When?' I don't know.
You? His first lieutenant.
That's pretty dim, Blaze.
False Face trusts no one and no one trusts False Face.
'Like his name, like his innumerable disguises.
' He's forever in concealment.
I know he plans a gigantic coup but I am not in on his plans.
Then I'm afraid we're at a dead end.
I'll tell you one thing, Batman if there's one force in this world 'that False Face fears, it's you.
' 'And the Boy Wonder of course.
' Many times I've heard him mutter "if it were not for the Caped Crusaders I would be kingpin of the criminal class.
" That swine.
That False Face is rotten to his concealed corp.
Please, commissioner.
Even False Face has a conscience somewhere.
And can be rehabilitated.
.
somehow.
Uh, that's so true, Batman.
For a little moment I was carried away.
Batman, you.
.
You're truly good.
And if I can, I'll help you find False Face.
Alright, we'll take a chance on trusting you, Blaze.
Sorry, I was carried away.
Well, let's all be away, after False Face.
Right.
If I might make a suggestion.
Why not let the Dynamic Duo go with Blaze.
While I make certain a force of picked police standby.
- Capital.
- Good thinking, O'Hara.
It's nothing.
I better be on me way too, commissioner.
- I wouldn't wanna lose, Batman.
- Right.
Can it be? Our Batman and Robin rushing into dire peril.
Does Batman know Chief O'Hara is False Face? Can he trust the treacherous Blaze? Clever.
Who'd suspect a shutdown of subway station? And it's centrally located for False Face's nefarious plans.
I'm sorry we took so long to get here, Batman.
But I was unsure of the way.
Where to now? Time is of the essence.
Oh, good heavens, no wonder I am starved.
It's after lunch.
Oh, Batman, would you get me a candy bar, please? Candy? Actually fresh fruit is much more helpful.
Oh, but there's none here.
And there is a candy machine.
He's such a gentlemen, you both are.
True cavaliers.
Oh! False Face.
That's quick setting plastic cement.
Oh, yes, you're strong, Batman.
But a bull elephant couldn't break these bonds.
False Face, is this killing necessary? Absolutely.
They must be disposed off.
The express will be through here inside of five minutes, Batman.
Inside of six, no more Batman.
Fiend! False Face, you'll regret this! Eventually.
Oh, I regret it already.
False Face, let's reconsider.
Never! No, you don't! Come! Batman, forgive me.
Of course, Blaze.
Any young girl might follow the wrong impulse.
I forgive you.
Take a last look.
Inside of minutes the Dynamic Duo will nearly be disintegrated debris.
Come on! Disaster threatens! Bashed by the BMT? Will the Dynamic Duo dice with death and descend to defeat? Can Batman and Robin break the unbreakable slip out of the chemical clutches escape the epoxy? Keep your Batwings crossed until tomorrow.
Same time.
Same channel.
Same perilous predicament! Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na na na na na Batman