Bunk'd (2015) s01e17 Episode Script

Okay, Gladys sent us for mosquito repellent, tick repellent, and black fly repellent.
I miss New York, all we needed there was chatty cabbie repellent.
Well, if you see a handsome lumberjack, get him! I'll go look in the meat section.
Look, there is a handsome lumberjack.
Oddly enough, in the produce section.
Hi, I'm Emma.
This is Zuri.
And we have a friend named Lou, who is really cute.
I'm Noah, and I have a friend named Steve, who has a nasty overbite.
Have you seen the bevels? Did they open for One Direction at Coachella? No, it's a tool for making furniture.
It's how I make my living.
Don't care.
Hey, Lou.
This is Noah.
He makes furniture, you make furniture.
We thought you two might like to talk.
Uh, that's Lou for, "Hello.
" So, Lou, what did you think of that guy Noah we met in town this morning? He's so sweet, I want to melt him down and pour him on my pancakes! Well, turn on the burner, because he's on our porch! Oh, no, she's talking like that kid who got hit by lightning again.
Why is he here? Because we thought you might want to talk to him some more.
But in complete sentences.
I don't think I can do that.
I mean, look at him.
He's so You'll be fine.
Just be calm and cool.
Right.
Go.
Go.
Go.
Move your feet.
Hey, there, Noah.
Good to see you again.
She said calmly and coolly.
Hey, Lou.
Good to see you, too.
Good to see you, too.
She already said that.
It's like watching a kitten wander into traffic.
This is an amazing chair! Very well crafted.
Whoever made this thing really speaks the language of wood.
Actually, I made it.
I speak oak, pine, and a little mahogany.
Really? You know, I tried to learn hickory, but it was too hard, because, you know, it's a hardwood! Lou, laugh! So Lou, would you like to go out with me? Yes! That means, "Yes!" Which is what she just said.
I'll go away now.
Hey, guys, check out this coin I found! Wow, this looks like real gold! Where did you find it? Under the tree by the soccer field, where I nap.
But why were you not playing soccer with the rest of the campers? By the time I run across the field, the game is over.
Who needs that? This thing looks even older than Gladys.
Check it out, Ravi.
It appears to be an authentic Viking coin.
Cool! Do you think it will work in the gum machine? No.
This could be priceless.
Some historians believe that the first Europeans to land here in Maine were Vikings, led by Leif Eriksson.
Ya know, I think I do remember hearing a camp legend that there was treasure buried somewhere around here.
Treasure? Treasure? We have to find it! But first we must do what all great treasure hunters do.
Buy an awesome leather jacket and get a grumpy sidekick? Do not be ridiculous! I was talking about research.
So I guess all I need now is the jacket.
Voila! My masterpiece.
Well, don't I look like the prize-winning pony at the state fair! I knew I made your chin look too long! That's Noah! Okay, Lou, come with me to the bathroom.
Zuri, you get the door.
Why can't I get the door? Because a boy should always wait for his date.
Hello, young man.
I'm Miss Ross.
I know, we met at the store yesterday.
Don't talk back to me, son! Yes, ma'am.
Is Lou ready? Let's not worry about Lou right now.
Let's talk about you.
So, where do you see yourself in five years? Five years older? What's your relationship like with your mother? Not great.
She's in prison.
Do you have a retirement account? I have a piggy bank.
Lou! Help! Hey, Noah.
I like your shirt.
Thanks.
It's my formal flannel.
And you look beautiful, Lou.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Just have her back by curfew, or the next thing you'll be carving is your own coffin.
Don't worry, Noah, she's kidding.
But just in case, let's walk fast! Learn anything yet? Only that Jorge has a deviated septum.
Ravi, people have been trying to find this treasure for hundreds of years.
Maybe this is just too hard for you.
Too hard? I will have you know, I once calculated Pi to one thousand places.
What do you have to say about that? Cool? Guys! Look at the picture I found! Is it a girl in a bikini? No, it is a picture of our camp founder Jedediah Swearengen in a coonskin hat.
Then I'm going back to sleep.
No, Jorge, check it out.
He's wearing a chain with the same Viking coin attached to it! Which means Jedediah must have had the treasure! According to the yearbook, the mess hall used to be Jedediah's cabin.
We should start our search there.
Right after we buy our awesome jackets! I'm not giving up on that.
I can't believe Gladys is making us pick up her foot fungus cream.
Yeah, we just got her a bucketful last week.
That woman has some funky feet.
Lou, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be on your date at the Crab Shack.
Noah changed our plans.
He thought it would be more romantic to make furniture together.
Isn't that great? Yeah, because all those rom-coms where they make furniture together are really awesome.
Noah's the best.
In fact, right now he's getting us milkshakes.
Hey, Noah.
Lou was just telling us about your date.
Yeah, I think you forgot her milkshake.
Uh No, I didn't.
We're sharing! We're even sharing a straw! That's so sweet! Mmm-hmm.
Emma, do you smell something fishy? Yes.
It's probably the bait.
No.
I'm talking about Noah.
I don't trust him.
I think he's a nice guy, and you don't trust anyone.
I mean, you had your doubts about Ravi at first.
I'm still not completely sold on him.
Well, it's about time! You are 37 seconds late.
I was worried sick! So, Lou, how was your second date? Did you go to a nice restaurant or a movie this time? Better.
We made a coffee table! Well, actually, I made it and then he put magazines on top of it.
And tomorrow, he's taking me to the lumberyard! Ooh, is that a trendy new restaurant? No, it's a lumberyard.
His truck is broken, and he needs someone to carry the wood.
So romantic.
You know what, Zuri? I'm starting to think Noah may be using Lou for free labor! Ya think? Of course he's using her! We have to tell Lou! You're right.
We'll set him straight tomorrow when we go to the store to pick up Gladys' extra-strength dandruff shampoo.
That woman needs medical help.
I cannot believe we are on a real treasure hunt! And yet, still no jacket.
So, Xander, have you ever noticed anything unusual in the mess hall? Only that the ratatouille is made from real rats.
Oh, look! This board has my initial on it, "X" for Xander.
Or, "X" marks the spot! Jorge, come here! There's way too much running in treasure hunting.
Well, is there anything in there? Patience! Piece of wood Dust bunny What I hope is a dust bunny Ah-ha! It is a Viking amulet and a note! "If you want to be rich from Viking loot, "climb the structure where people salute.
"When you reach the top, you are on your way.
"Hold up this amulet at last light of day.
" What do you guys think that means? Ooh, the place where people salute is the flagpole! Brilliant! So we must place the amulet at the top of the flagpole at sunset, and it will reveal where the treasure is! We're gonna be rich! Yes, you can get your jacket.
Forget that.
I'm getting a convertible, so this gorgeous mane can flow free in the wind.
Okay, Lumber-jerk, you're in big trouble! Emma, I say we stick a squirrel in his pants, and let nature take its course! What are you talking about? We know you've been using Lou as free labor, you no-goodnik! Sorry for the bad language.
Free labor? No, I really like Lou.
Then why do you have her building chairs on every date? Because my gramp-gramp is really sick, and Adirondack chairs are his favorite.
He just wants to spend his last days reclining in comfort.
We are so sorry.
Can you forgive us? Of course.
It is the carpenter's code to forgive.
Okay, Zuri, let's go.
Oh, we forgot Gladys' dandruff shampoo.
Great, I'll take 5,000 for the chairs.
You are lucky to be getting Noah Drake originals.
And I am getting a new truck! But first, he's getting a black eye! All right, I'll make sure everyone stays in the mess hall, so when you discover the treasure, no one else finds out about it, and we don't have to split it.
Great.
Are you sure I am not too heavy? Nope, in fact, you're lighter than the flag.
Look, it is working! Wow, treasure and suckers? Cool! What is going on? This was the traditional Grizzly Cabin fake scavenger hunt.
There's no treasure.
You just got bunk'd! What? Ahhh! Ow! Now, my pride and my pelvis are wounded.
Hey, Lou.
I need to talk to you about Noah.
Every time I think about him, I hear birds singing.
Maybe that's because we live in a forest.
Look Noah's just using you to make chairs to sell so he can buy a new truck.
Don't carve me to death.
What are you talking about? I am so sorry, Lou.
It just kills me to tell you this But I heard him on the phone.
Well, you heard wrong! Look, Noah and I have something special.
Our souls connect like a dovetail joint.
But don't you see, you're the one doing all the connecting? What I see is that I'm supportive of you and Xander, but for some reason, you can't be supportive of me and Noah! I'm just looking out for you.
You're my best friend.
Yeah, well, best friends support each other.
So, maybe you're not my best friend.
So how'd it go with Lou? I don't know what hurts more, that Lou said she's not my friend or that I sat on her chisel.
What are we going to do about this Noah guy? I have a plan.
Next time I see him, I'm gonna US Open his head.
I have two fake passports and a bag full of rubles.
As much as I'd like to get rid of him, and live in Moscow, maybe we should take a different approach.
I just want to approach his lying face with this racquet! No! Come on! Zuri, leave the racquet.
How is it you have one of these at camp, but you don't have soap? Hey, my hair is my life.
Xander, I cannot believe you would try and fool me with another fake coin! How stupid do you think I am? What are you talking about? I have the fake coin right here.
Well, if that is the fake one, this one must be A real Viking gold coin! So that means there could be a real treasure somewhere around camp! Oh, my gosh! We need to find it! But we can't do it without your brains! Okay, okay I'll help.
I think he meant me.
Jorge, just do whatever you did last time.
On it! I will stay here and study these books some more.
Xander, you go to the library and see if you can find more about the camp's history.
Right.
Uh One question.
Where's the library? It is the building behind the science lab.
Behind the mess hall.
Good job, Ravi! He totally thought our fake coin was real! Our plan is in motion.
The bunk'd-ees have become the bunk'd-ers.
That did not sound quite as cool as I thought it would.
Hey, Lou.
Well, look who it is.
Emma I can't-support- my-best-friend- because-I don't-like-my- best-friend's-boyfriend Ross.
My middle name is Evangeline.
Listen, we came to apologize.
You were right.
We must have misheard Noah.
Well Thank you for saying that.
And to make it up to you, we want to help you finish the chairs.
We're guessing Noah's not here.
Yeah, he's getting a manicure.
He always wants to look his best for me.
Anyway, we wanna make the chairs perfect, so we called Noah's grandpa to find out what he likes.
Awww, that's so sweet.
Noah is always talking about how much his poor, sick gramp-gramp loves these chairs.
Well, we have everything in these bags to make him the happiest dying gramp-gramp in all of Maine! So after extensive research, I have discovered that Jedediah's grandson, Tobias Swearengen, installed an elaborate sewage system.
Well, he did a terrible job.
Every time I go it's a triple-flusher! I don't think you can blame him for that.
So, Ravi, what does this have to do with the treasure? Take a look at this.
That guy looks rich.
Exactly.
A little too rich for a mere summer camp owner.
So Tobias may have been living off the treasure! But he probably spent it all.
I don't think so.
He died right after this was taken.
The lesson being, you should never pose for a picture while standing in the middle of the road.
Anyhoo, when I looked at the schematics, one sewage pipe is a dead end.
So the treasure may be in there! Exactly! I will go in.
I just need to overcome my fear of the dark, and confined spaces and pipes and spiders.
Maybe I should do it.
Good idea.
Wow, these chairs will knock Noah's gramp-gramp out! And hopefully Noah, too.
Lou, what did you do? We made the chairs the way your gramp-gramp wants them.
How could he want anything? He died two years ago! Oh, no! Let me comfort you! Wait, two years ago? Ha! So he's already dead! I mean, I'm sorry for your loss.
But you're a liar! I am very disappointed in you, young man! And to think I let you date my little girl! Wait, you mean it's true? You only went out with me so you could get a new truck? No! It's gently used.
Yeah, well, you better start running, or you won't be able to sit in your "gently used" truck, because you'll have a butt full of nails! Lou, are you okay? You should've let me bring my racquet.
Let the payback begin.
Shh.
Grizzly 1 to Grizzly 2.
How is it going? Ugh It reeks in here! I just swallowed something And it's not happy.
Okay, you should be getting close to the treasure.
You better hurry, because I have to go to the bathroom real bad! No, no! Ravi, keep Jorge away from the toilet! Guys, I think I found the treasure! Huzzah! Do not open it! Meet us at the Great Lawn so we can all open it together! Got ya! Did you just swallow another bug? I wish.
Here comes Xander! I got the treasure! And very possibly pink eye.
Time to get rich! Wait, what's this? A big sucker.
Because you're a sucker! Now you have been bunk'd! Okay, you got me.
So, the bunk'd-ees have become the bunk'd-ers.
Why does it sound cool when he says it? I'll take another one, but no straw.
It reminds me of him.
Hey, Lou.
Hey.
I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did.
Me, too.
I hope you're not mad at us.
I'm not mad, I'm just Embarrassed.
How could I be so stupid? You're not stupid.
Noah's the stupid one for not appreciating you.
You know, I should've known something was up when I went in for a kiss, and he handed me a belt sander.
I'd like to teach him a lesson.
You know, we have a very deep lake out there.
Thanks, Zuri.
Are you going to be okay? I guess.
It just Really hurts.
Hey, they don't call it a crush for nothing.
But I know one day, you will find the perfect guy.
And I know you guys will be happy together, as long as he can prove to me he has a retirement account, and does not sass back.
Thanks, guys.
All I know is, you won't see me falling for some guy any time soon.
Yeah, right.
Okay, I took 50 showers, and I still can't get this smelly sludge out of my hair.
That might be because the water comes from the same pipes.
This prank gets better and better.
Hey, joke's on you.
I used your hair dryer.
I must say, it was exciting to think that there was a real treasure here.
Too bad that it was not true.