CHiPs (1977) s01e17 Episode Script

Baker.
Good morning.
Bad day for noise pollution.
It's what you see when you've seen everything.
- The kid's lost control.
- Okay, you run interference.
I'll run it, but I won't believe it.
Okay, this is your lucky day.
You won't get a ticket.
Go back to that off-ramp get off the freeway and stay off, okay? - Okay.
- Okay, go on.
- Hey, what's wrong? - The line's broken.
It's jammed.
Okay, move the boom over.
Move it over.
- You okay? - Just a little shaky.
Hey, I'm really sorry.
I just bought this thing.
I had to try it out, so A couple of us figured the unopened section of freeway would be perfect.
Yeah, well, perfect is that dry lake east of Palm Springs.
Yeah.
Wanna step back here a moment? How you gonna write it? I don't know.
This is my first case of reckless sailing.
You have a law against exceeding the limits of stupidity? I'll see how close I can come, all right? There you go.
- You get the admiral straightened out? - Got a hunch the next time we stop a guy sailing down the freeway, it won't be him.
Listen, don't tell anybody, but that looks like a lot of fun.
Yeah, that's what the kamikaze pilot said.
Speaking of suicide.
I'll take it.
Good morning, again.
You two don't understand what you're doing is so risky and dangerous there's a law against it.
We see other kids do it all the time.
Oh, really? That's funny.
You're the first two I've seen in months.
Well, then, you haven't been paying attention.
- Your parents know you're doing this? - Sure.
Good.
Then they won't be surprised when they come pick you up.
- Pick us up? Where? - Our station.
You get a ride in a two-toned sedan with a uniformed chauffeur.
You know something? You're a creep.
You know something? You've been pretty lucky today.
Twice.
Now, don't push it.
- Sarge, here's our report - He's busy.
- Come back later.
- What's this? That was super, sergeant.
Very commanding.
Now, let's try one that shows the compassionate you.
- Compassionate? - Can't you guys see that I'm busy? Yeah, well, you told us to bring in the reports the second they were finished.
Well, why don't you go check on your spelling for 10 minutes? No, no, no.
Wait a minute, sergeant.
The reports would make great props.
We'll do a shot with your subordinates handing them to you.
Come over here, fellas.
Thank you.
All right.
Look, if we're gonna do this at least shut the door, Frank.
Quickly, quickly.
Now, get your arm What is this all about? - Now put your arm right up there.
- Nothing that has to concern you, Jon.
No, up, up.
Hold it.
You should be very proud of your leader.
We're doing a profile of him in the CHP magazine.
Sergeant of the Month.
Hey, I'm impressed.
It's not that big a deal, Frank.
Sergeant Getraer's career will be an inspiration to every peace officer in California.
Okay, so I get a little write-up.
It's nothing to fuss over.
Nothing to fuss over? Wait till we tell the guys in briefing.
No.
You're not to say one word about this.
- But the guys will wanna hear.
- No, you're sworn to secrecy.
I've seen what these things can do.
I mean, a man gets a little publicity, then the swelled head.
Man loses touch with his men.
Well, I'm not going to let that happen.
Well, then, why don't you just turn down the article, sarge, huh? I can't.
Captain thinks it's just a great idea.
Hey, sarge I don't think you have a problem.
Relax and enjoy the recognition.
You don't seem to realize what an insidious thing a swelled head can be.
I had a lieut I had a lieutenant once who spent two days a week reading his clippings.
Well, that's not gonna happen to me.
Isn't his modesty astounding? We could write the entire article on his total humility.
You are terrific.
Will you just cut out saying those nice things? It gives me indigestion.
Is that why you don't say nice things to me? Now, Frank, that is a whole another story.
Out.
Hold it.
If you ask me, a swelled head is the least of Getraer's problems.
Don't tell him I said so, but he really deserves the honor.
I wish he could enjoy it.
Should be a way we could make him see.
You check the mail, I'll gas the motors? Deal.
Did you get ahold of your parents? My parents are in Europe.
My sister came to pick us up.
She's in there.
Well, how about you? - Mom works.
- How about your father? Never mind.
Listen, the important thing is am I gonna see you hitchhiking again? No.
No is the right answer.
Don't let him bug you.
He's paid to say that dumb stuff.
I hope you realize what you've just put me through.
We'll never do it again, Mary Kate.
You don't even have to write about it to Mom and Dad.
It's over.
Well, it better be.
Come on, let's go.
I'm sorry.
I thought this would be the one place where traffic moved perfectly.
Hi, ladies.
We meet again.
Are you the officer who arrested them? No, that was my partner.
I'd like to tell you he makes a lot of mistakes, but he doesn't.
They were hitchhiking on the freeway.
Yes.
Do you think I could talk to you about that for a minute? - Sure.
- Excuse us, girls.
I'm Jenny's sister, Mary Kate Simpson.
Mary Kate.
I like that.
I bet you were named after your grandmother.
Who was also very beautiful.
Well, actually, I was named after two old-maid aunts who looked like linebackers for the Rams.
What can I do for you? Well, I imagine that you've seen a lot of young people in trouble.
Yeah, quite a few.
Maybe you could help me with Jenny's problem.
That's not my line of work.
But I can get you the names of some good counselors.
Yes, but you've had experience.
My parents are out of the country and all Jenny really needs is to hear it from someone that she can respect.
A man, authority.
She has to hear what? Well, this Marge is a bad influence for her.
She's gotta stop letting Marge lead her into this kind of trouble.
I don't compute it that way.
I mean, not what I saw.
Jenny's the ringleader of the two.
Hey, I'm not arguing with you.
I'm just telling you what the sister said.
I suppose her sister is intelligent, understanding and a knockout.
- You saw her? - No, I know you.
- Just because she's beautiful I don't have to buy her story.
I just said I'd listen to it.
- Yeah, when? - Tonight.
Over pizza and a movie.
That's the way you're gonna handle it? Can a gentleman refuse a lady's invitation? - Well, is she picking up the tab? - No way.
I've got my pride and ethics.
We're going Dutch.
Hey, hold it a minute.
You lost your mind? That's Getraer's helmet.
I know whose helmet it is.
- Ponch, why are you making it bigger? - I'm not.
I'm making Getraer's head smaller.
You heard the sarge.
He can't enjoy a little honest glory.
That's a terrible sickness.
Just as bad as getting swellheaded.
The truth is, Jon you get too modest and your head shrinks.
Well, does Getraer know that? He will when I get through with him.
Look, here's the highway patrol.
You'll save yourself some trouble if you come out.
Please, Dad.
You don't wanna get arrested.
Yeah, you could be hurt if that house collapses.
I wouldn't come out if you call the Marines.
Moving a house at this time of day? What do we ask him for, his driver's license or his termite report? Hey, what's the problem? Orneriness, sheer orneriness.
Right, your orneriness.
If you'd started and gotten it out of here this wouldn't have happened.
In the first place, my truck broke down.
In the second place, them heavy rains last night loosened some pilings.
If I touch that, it'd probably collapse.
In the third place, I won't move a house when somebody's in it in the first place.
- Who's in the house? - My father.
- Well, what's he doing in there? - He's protesting.
You see, he doesn't wanna leave his old room.
I didn't know he was in there.
I thought he was at the retirement villa.
If he would just be reasonable for five seconds he'd see it was impossible.
I mean, anyway, he'd be happier with people his own age.
He says we're plotting against him.
That it wasn't the new freeway that forced us to move the house.
He says that we're trying to get rid of him.
If that stubborn old coot was my father, I'd move the town to get rid of him.
You don't seem to realize that this is a very upsetting experience for him.
How would you feel if the garden you tended for over 70 years suddenly disappeared and became an off-ramp.
Eloise, now you're starting to indulge him again.
I mean, we all have to make adjustments, right? Has anybody tried to go in there and reason with him? I did.
He threw a chair at me.
Listen, we better try.
This is the highway patrol, sir.
Gotta come out.
You're trespassing on a man's home.
Go ride your motorcycles.
Sir, this is our last warning.
Now, would you unlock the door? This is a lawful order.
This is my room.
Don't tell me what to do.
I just polished my boots.
You got no respect for a man's privacy.
I'd deck both of you if I was your age.
Sorry.
You didn't give us any choice.
Choice? You think I had any choice? "We're hauling your house away.
Go live with some crotchety old discards.
" Well, I'm not gonna do it.
- We can appreciate how you feel, sir.
- Oh, you can, huh? So that's why you broke my door.
What's next? My arm? My leg? We're not here to hurt you.
We want you out of the house, so we can move it.
Sir, now, wait a minute, let's be practical.
That retirement home probably isn't your favorite place but it's better than a jail cell.
Not in my book.
How about this: If you stay up here, you're gonna get hungry and thirsty.
Man my age drinks like a camel, eats like a bird.
Maybe so, but you can't hold out forever, you know.
I can hold out till that daughter of mine faces up to my stubborn son-in-law and meets my terms.
You got terms? - Now we're getting someplace.
- What are they? Well, term number one, no retirement villa.
Term number two, when they put this house down on a new lot I'm gonna be in it.
I'll talk to your daughter and I'll see what I can do.
Wait a minute.
You haven't heard term number three.
Sir, it's gonna be hard enough as it is.
You just tell her terms number one and two also include Leroy.
You tell her that.
Leroy.
- Leroy.
- Leroy.
- Leroy.
- Never.
Absolutely impossible.
Well, in that case, I guess we'll have to remove him bodily.
- Bodily? - Your father is liable to put up a fight.
After a week in the hospital, I'll have him transferred to jail.
Martin, we can't have him hurt.
Yeah, we can't have him hurt.
Too much is too much.
Okay, if that's your decision.
What's the verdict? Okay, here it is.
No retirement home, but you can stay in your old room.
All right.
And Leroy? No.
Sorry, sir.
No dice.
Then I'm staying right here.
Go ahead, shoot me.
Dad, it's all right.
We want you.
And you can tell Leroy he's welcome.
- Eloise? - Shut up, Martin.
We won.
We won.
We won.
Leroy.
You hear that? We won.
Come on.
As soon as they set us on our new foundation Leroy and I want you boys to come by and visit us.
You're real old-fashioned gentlemen.
Yes, sir.
We're more than happy to.
Listen, you play checkers? Forget that.
Bring girls.
- Hey, best of luck to all of you, okay? - See you.
- All right.
- Bye.
Come on, Leroy.
Say goodbye, Leroy.
Goodbye.
- He's got a big case of the hurries.
- We better pull him over before he gets down the hill and hits that construction site.
I lost my brakes.
His brakes are gone.
Didn't we just see Baricza giving a citation? About two minutes ago.
Okay, you go ahead and clear the way.
We got one risky shot, but we gotta try it.
Request assistance on runaway truck coming down the hill behind you.
You want a lane cleared? Negative.
I want your brakes.
How are they? New linings.
What are you getting at? Okay, we're gonna use you to stop the runaway.
Get in front of him, kiss bumpers, and slow him to a stop.
You can't mean that.
Can you come up with a better idea? You got two seconds.
Ponch, give us some room.
Okay, I'm gonna guide him into your front bumper.
We'll use his brakes to stop you, got it? Good.
What's your truck's speed? Sixty-eight.
Okay, Bar, his truck's speed is 68.
Ease into it, now.
I'll need eyes in the back of my head, Jon.
I'll be your eyes.
Okay, you got 10 feet, closing.
Ten feet, easy.
Okay, hold it straight and get against the line.
Okay, two feet.
Easy.
You're almost there.
Okay, brake.
Stop that thing.
We got people up here.
Hey, Bar, you okay? Fantastic.
- Come on, hey.
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
But if I'd had three seconds to make up my mind, I never would have done it.
Is that a way to talk? You, driver of the year? He's no driver.
He's just world champion at stop.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- Hey, you betcha.
- He's the man, right there.
- Anytime.
So your partner thinks that Jenny is the ringleader, so to speak.
- I don't believe that.
- That's the way it looked to Jon.
Jenny never hitchhiked until she started running around with Marge.
Okay, you live with your sister.
Jon just saw her for a few minutes.
But I figured you'd like to know.
But it doesn't make sense.
Now, you saw our home.
Jenny has all the advantages.
She has a mom and a dad that love her.
She has me.
Marge doesn't even remember her father.
She hardly ever sees her mother.
Listen, funny things happen.
I grew up in the worst part of town.
And I spend my days giving righteous tickets to lawbreakers of Beverly Hills.
Well, maybe you identify with Marge.
That puts you on her side.
Hey, slow down.
I'm not taking sides.
I'm just telling you what Jon thought he saw.
I think Jon would have thought differently if he were with Jenny and I today when we talked.
Because she admitted that Marge pushed her into it and promised never to see her again.
- And you believed her? - Of course I do.
I think the problem is over.
Let's hope you're right.
Listen, just because you won't be seeing Jenny in your work anymore doesn't mean you have to stop seeing me.
The way I figure it is there's work and there's play.
Good.
Your share is 7 bucks.
- No.
No.
- Oh, you rat.
You really think we should? Can I give you girls a lift? - Hi.
- Hi.
- How far are you going? - A couple of blocks.
Okay.
I said, if braggers get a big head, it's only logical that humble people get brain shrinkage.
- He actually believed it? - About 50 percent.
His eyes got that defensive look, like when you've read the regulations and he hasn't.
You think we're going too far with this? Why? All we want is for the sarge to come to briefing so we can give him a big hand for getting written up in the magazine.
Yeah.
Hey, you know, it's really coming down.
You think we ought to move the motors? Where are we gonna move them to? You wanna do something tonight? No, sorry.
I got another outing with Mary Kate.
Well, we can double.
I'll call Jo Anne.
Might be easier if we didn't.
You're not exactly Mary Kate's favorite.
She thinks you made a big mistake about her sister.
What can I do? I just call it like I see it.
You can spend the evening alone with Jo Anne.
- What's up, sarge? - Come here.
Come on.
Now, tell me.
How come you guys parked up here and not in the street? Hey, sarge, I didn't park there.
I parked where that truck is.
Tell me, Frank.
If you parked where the truck is why is the truck there and your bikes are here? Hey, sarge, that's a good question.
But we can't answer it.
Look, if you park your bikes on the sidewalk, the public is gonna think it can just park their cars any old place.
For example you got that Volkswagen out in the street.
Sarge, that Volkswagen was parked beside my bike.
What kind of funny relish have you guys been putting on your hamburgers? Wait a minute.
He's right.
That Volkswagen was right there.
I suppose all the vehicles on this block have been playing leapfrog.
Howdy.
Nice day.
Wait a minute.
What's wrong, friend? Let me ask you a question.
Did you put that Volkswagen in the street and the bikes on the sidewalk? Suppose I did.
Well, I wanna apologize to my buddies and give you a ticket.
A ticket? Why you Watch it.
I'm sorry.
Not as sorry as you would have been.
Should I put them back where I found them? Yeah, while I give you a ticket.
Neatness counts.
Sarge, that was terrific.
Yeah, well, just have to remember your training.
Careful, sarge.
You're being humble.
All right.
I stood up to him pretty good.
There.
Make you happy? Yeah, sarge.
But keep practicing.
Someplace between yours and mine is the perfect head.
Look, maybe you guys ought to get back to Central while this weather clears.
Okay.
- Creep.
I wouldn't ride with you anyway.
- Jenny, let's go home.
Don't be such a spoilsport.
We just started.
Next one's a ride.
Didn't I tell you? - How far? - Santa Monica? - Hop in.
- I'll take the window.
- I don't like him.
- You ninny.
Go on.
I changed my mind.
Go ahead.
- Jenny.
- Go on.
Oh, no.
Hi, Jenny.
You hitchhiking again? - I'm just walking to the store.
- Where's Marge? Jenny, where's Marge? They took her in that van.
She was screaming.
request transportation assistance outbound Sequoia on-ramp.
Hey.
Hey, we got a cop after us.
It's a setup.
Well, they'll have to catch us first before it'll do them any good.
Maybe I can lose him at the next off-ramp.
Pursuit is leaving the freeway, north on San Antonio.
Hey, if you can't shake them, man, stop.
You're making it worse.
- Hey.
- Hey, the wheel's locked.
All right, get out of the vehicle.
Let's move.
- Get over there.
- We didn't touch her.
- She tried to kill us.
- You, out.
Right here.
Turn around and put your hands on your head.
Man, that chick's a nut.
We didn't do anything.
But you gave her a ride, didn't you? Yeah.
All right.
You got him, Baker.
Are you all right? It was terrible.
He grabbed me from behind.
I didn't know what he was gonna do.
He could have done anything.
Why did you go alone, without Jenny? It wasn't her idea.
The other chick told her to.
You're no friend.
Don't you ever talk to me again, ever.
- Hey.
- Hey, sarge.
- Come on guys, that's my man.
- Yeah.
All right, all right.
All right.
That's enough.
Okay, down to business.
First thing.
From the Weather Bureau, it will be raining on and off today.
So you guys on motors, if it gets too wet, bring them in.
The rest of you guys, be careful, huh? What do you mean Mary Kate stood you up? Not permanent, just for tonight.
Her parents are flying home from Europe.
Big family conference.
- That's good.
- I told her I'd work something out when we were available to double-date.
- I'll go for it.
- Jon, Frank could I see you a minute please? - Now what, sarge? - What's the problem? No problem.
We need one more picture to go with the magazine's story about Sergeant Getraer.
And he insisted that you be included.
- Hey, terrific.
- That's an honor, sarge.
Hey, look.
It's nothing you guys don't deserve.
Well, where do you want us? How about with our helmets on, huh? Why not helmets on? You look so great in uniform.
You're really taking this publicity thing in stride now.
Yeah, I'm glad you got over that humble attack.
- Now you can really enjoy it.
- Yeah, I enjoy it, all right.
Oh, I really enjoy it.