Clarence US (2014) s01e17 Episode Script
Nature Clarence
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Huh? Huh? Yay! Oh, no! Nature Kate! Nature Kate! Nature Kate! Everyone was going, "yay, yay, yay, yay!" But then there was there was, um, um, the rhino guy came back.
And he was part man this time.
And he had the snake, and it was one fire, and he was using it like a spear.
And then she picked us up and jumped right off the cliff! And then that rhino guy came and threw the spear, but he missed us! And we were just falling and falling and falling and falling and and but then she had a parachute, and Kate's face was on it.
It was amazing.
- That never happened.
- Yes, it is.
Sumo was there.
Right, Sumo? Yeah.
I remember that.
Kate's awesome.
Well, I'll let them know.
Okay, be careful out there.
I love y Huh.
Her phone must have cut out.
- You should've been there.
- Bad news, guys.
There's a baby goat caught up on Peeper's Peak.
Kate was called to wrangle it back down.
- Sorry, guys, hike's cancelled.
- Aww! - Aw, man! - I was really excited for that.
Right.
So I'm gonna call all your parents and Hey! - Hey, mister? Where's Nature Kate? - I just told you.
Um, why did you tell Kate that you love her? We're involved romantically.
It's pretty serious.
Kate's dating you? Gross.
Oh, you're Joshua? I heard your guys' relationship is "on the rocks.
" - What? Where'd you hear that? - I don't know.
Hey, can we go on some rocks? Did Kate say that? What else did she say? Oh, she said lots of things.
She said that you're lazy, that you're angry, that you don't have any ambitions, whatever that means.
What? I-I-I have tons of ambition! That's it! We're going on that hike! And we're going to, uh, Sheep's Bridge! Uh, we shouldn't go there.
Nobody goes there.
I know.
That's why we're going.
- Everybody in the pronco! - Yay! Uh, I guess Kate took the pronco.
Everybody in my car! Yay! the stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas Hey, Josh, check it out.
I drew a map for us with more accurate topography! Yeah, yeah, that's nice! Whoaaaa! Nature Kate says a rock will never hurt you if you treat it with the respect it deserves.
Rocks are rocks.
That's it! The end! Can you open my milk for me? Nature Kate says that milk - is nature's milk.
- What?! Aw, no! Get on your seat! Oh! Oh! - Stop punching my seat! - Okay.
You don't even know where we are, do you, Joshua? - Yes, I do! - Nature Kate always knows where we are because her brain is a map of the universe.
Just follow the stars like she does, Joshua.
Even if we find it now, it's probably too late to even hike.
- Salty.
- Yeah, Joshua, hurry up! Fine! Everybody wanna go back?! Fine.
We'll go back home! We're all goin' home! No! Keep going, nature Joshua! No, we're going home.
Deal with it! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! We love clowns! We love clowns! Turn around! Um, you should slow down, or I think you're going to pop a tire! You kidding?! It's a binto! These things are invincible! All right, everyone.
Just stay calm.
I'm going to see what the problem is Hey, hey! No, no, no! Wait! Wait! Come back! Where's he going? Yeah, he does that.
You're supposed to lock the - doors so he doesn't get out.
- Well, does he come back? Yeah, probably.
- No bars.
- No bars.
- No bars.
- Oh, I got lots of bars.
The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas We were driving for almost four hours.
That's like a two-day walk.
Nature Kate always got us here in 20 minutes.
- And also, she brought us granola.
- Well, that's fine! That's fine! Absolutely fine! You do it! Somebody else wanna lead?! Go ahead! I quit! Well, Nature Kate did say I'm a natural leader, so yeah, I'll do it.
I'll be Nature Clarence.
Follow me! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo.
Hoo hoo.
- Where are we? - You'll find out as soon as you turn that frown upside down.
Oh, boy.
I'm having a wonderful time.
Hey, look at that! We're here! Sheep's Bridge? But how did you How? Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Whoo-hoo! Nice job, Clarence! It's like little fluffy hot dogs! Percy, you're dehydrated.
- Get some water.
- Okay! Jeff, you see if we can eat these plants.
I think these are tubers.
And, Josh, I want you to find matches.
What? I can't find matches out here.
Not with that attitude, you can't! - I'm going to hunt us a elk! - What the Matches! I just don't get it! It's like he's magic or something! Everything's going right for him, and when I try my hardest, - nothing ever even pans out! - That's just Clarence.
Uh, where's the bathroom? Hey, you guys! I found a hot tub! Oh, he's lost it! Not so easy being the leader, huh? - I believe him! - What? Hey, guys! Hop in! The water's great! - It smells like eggs! - Why is this here? C'mon in, Joshua! Don't you wanna relax your tootsies in this nice natural hot tub? No.
No, it's not natural.
I mean, what is this? Someone hauled a hot tub out here and planted bamboo around it? Who does that? Why not? It's awesome.
- I'd do it if I had a truck.
- I'm game.
C'mon, climb in here, big guy.
Take a load off.
Look at all those stars, guys.
There's so many.
And around each one, there's a bunch of planets with some aliens sitting in their alien hot tubs just looking down at us.
Hey, guys.
You might be right about that, actually.
But alien hot tubs would be much more advanced than ours.
Yeah, but they're they're probably not havin' as much fun as we are! Right, Joshua? Josh? Hello? Hey, buddy.
You okay? Josh? Hello? - Hey, buddy.
You okay? - We'll stay.
- Um, come again? - We'll stay.
This can be our spa! Ha! Oh, yes! Oof! Yes! And this this can be my room.
And this can be your rooms! I love it! And this, this can be our kitchen! - Who wants pancakes? - I don't see a kitchen.
And this can be our ballroom! Oh, how we'll dance! Ya da dee, da da, la da dee, da da da dee C'mon, guys! The next dance is the conga Oh, no, I'll catch you! Guys! Help me! Throw down a rope or something! Don't worry, Joshua! We'll save you! - Jeff, throw him a rope.
- Uh, we don't have a rope.
Excuse me, Josh.
The adults need to talk for a moment.
Oh, no, what do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? What do we do? We could make a human chain.
That's right! Human chain! Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Do not do a human chain! I said no human chain! I changed my mind! Clarence, no more human chain! Ooh! - I'm gonna die! No! No! - Josh, I'm scared! Don't worry, Josh.
Nature Kate says that if you just believe in nature, then nature will Excuse me.
Oh, my gosh! It's the hot tub aliens! Huh? - Nature Kate! - And Sumo? And then and then I farted on him! I'm not cut out for nature.
I belong in a grocery store.
I'm grocery Josh! And if you can't accept that, well, then it's over between us! Oh.
That is great, 'cause I've sorta been seeing Damien for a while now - and I didn't know how to tell you.
- What?! Ah.
You know, guys, when we were out there in the middle of nowhere with all of the dangerous stuff around us, I wasn't even scared.
Because we were in mother nature and mother nature would never do anything to hurt us.
- Right, Sumo? - Yeah, that sounds true.
My ear! Oh, no! Where is it?! Oh, it's under the seat! It's under the seat! Somebody get it! It's under the seat!
And he was part man this time.
And he had the snake, and it was one fire, and he was using it like a spear.
And then she picked us up and jumped right off the cliff! And then that rhino guy came and threw the spear, but he missed us! And we were just falling and falling and falling and falling and and but then she had a parachute, and Kate's face was on it.
It was amazing.
- That never happened.
- Yes, it is.
Sumo was there.
Right, Sumo? Yeah.
I remember that.
Kate's awesome.
Well, I'll let them know.
Okay, be careful out there.
I love y Huh.
Her phone must have cut out.
- You should've been there.
- Bad news, guys.
There's a baby goat caught up on Peeper's Peak.
Kate was called to wrangle it back down.
- Sorry, guys, hike's cancelled.
- Aww! - Aw, man! - I was really excited for that.
Right.
So I'm gonna call all your parents and Hey! - Hey, mister? Where's Nature Kate? - I just told you.
Um, why did you tell Kate that you love her? We're involved romantically.
It's pretty serious.
Kate's dating you? Gross.
Oh, you're Joshua? I heard your guys' relationship is "on the rocks.
" - What? Where'd you hear that? - I don't know.
Hey, can we go on some rocks? Did Kate say that? What else did she say? Oh, she said lots of things.
She said that you're lazy, that you're angry, that you don't have any ambitions, whatever that means.
What? I-I-I have tons of ambition! That's it! We're going on that hike! And we're going to, uh, Sheep's Bridge! Uh, we shouldn't go there.
Nobody goes there.
I know.
That's why we're going.
- Everybody in the pronco! - Yay! Uh, I guess Kate took the pronco.
Everybody in my car! Yay! the stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas Hey, Josh, check it out.
I drew a map for us with more accurate topography! Yeah, yeah, that's nice! Whoaaaa! Nature Kate says a rock will never hurt you if you treat it with the respect it deserves.
Rocks are rocks.
That's it! The end! Can you open my milk for me? Nature Kate says that milk - is nature's milk.
- What?! Aw, no! Get on your seat! Oh! Oh! - Stop punching my seat! - Okay.
You don't even know where we are, do you, Joshua? - Yes, I do! - Nature Kate always knows where we are because her brain is a map of the universe.
Just follow the stars like she does, Joshua.
Even if we find it now, it's probably too late to even hike.
- Salty.
- Yeah, Joshua, hurry up! Fine! Everybody wanna go back?! Fine.
We'll go back home! We're all goin' home! No! Keep going, nature Joshua! No, we're going home.
Deal with it! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! We love clowns! We love clowns! Turn around! Um, you should slow down, or I think you're going to pop a tire! You kidding?! It's a binto! These things are invincible! All right, everyone.
Just stay calm.
I'm going to see what the problem is Hey, hey! No, no, no! Wait! Wait! Come back! Where's he going? Yeah, he does that.
You're supposed to lock the - doors so he doesn't get out.
- Well, does he come back? Yeah, probably.
- No bars.
- No bars.
- No bars.
- Oh, I got lots of bars.
The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas We were driving for almost four hours.
That's like a two-day walk.
Nature Kate always got us here in 20 minutes.
- And also, she brought us granola.
- Well, that's fine! That's fine! Absolutely fine! You do it! Somebody else wanna lead?! Go ahead! I quit! Well, Nature Kate did say I'm a natural leader, so yeah, I'll do it.
I'll be Nature Clarence.
Follow me! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo.
Hoo hoo.
- Where are we? - You'll find out as soon as you turn that frown upside down.
Oh, boy.
I'm having a wonderful time.
Hey, look at that! We're here! Sheep's Bridge? But how did you How? Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Whoo-hoo! Nice job, Clarence! It's like little fluffy hot dogs! Percy, you're dehydrated.
- Get some water.
- Okay! Jeff, you see if we can eat these plants.
I think these are tubers.
And, Josh, I want you to find matches.
What? I can't find matches out here.
Not with that attitude, you can't! - I'm going to hunt us a elk! - What the Matches! I just don't get it! It's like he's magic or something! Everything's going right for him, and when I try my hardest, - nothing ever even pans out! - That's just Clarence.
Uh, where's the bathroom? Hey, you guys! I found a hot tub! Oh, he's lost it! Not so easy being the leader, huh? - I believe him! - What? Hey, guys! Hop in! The water's great! - It smells like eggs! - Why is this here? C'mon in, Joshua! Don't you wanna relax your tootsies in this nice natural hot tub? No.
No, it's not natural.
I mean, what is this? Someone hauled a hot tub out here and planted bamboo around it? Who does that? Why not? It's awesome.
- I'd do it if I had a truck.
- I'm game.
C'mon, climb in here, big guy.
Take a load off.
Look at all those stars, guys.
There's so many.
And around each one, there's a bunch of planets with some aliens sitting in their alien hot tubs just looking down at us.
Hey, guys.
You might be right about that, actually.
But alien hot tubs would be much more advanced than ours.
Yeah, but they're they're probably not havin' as much fun as we are! Right, Joshua? Josh? Hello? Hey, buddy.
You okay? Josh? Hello? - Hey, buddy.
You okay? - We'll stay.
- Um, come again? - We'll stay.
This can be our spa! Ha! Oh, yes! Oof! Yes! And this this can be my room.
And this can be your rooms! I love it! And this, this can be our kitchen! - Who wants pancakes? - I don't see a kitchen.
And this can be our ballroom! Oh, how we'll dance! Ya da dee, da da, la da dee, da da da dee C'mon, guys! The next dance is the conga Oh, no, I'll catch you! Guys! Help me! Throw down a rope or something! Don't worry, Joshua! We'll save you! - Jeff, throw him a rope.
- Uh, we don't have a rope.
Excuse me, Josh.
The adults need to talk for a moment.
Oh, no, what do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? - What do we do? What do we do? We could make a human chain.
That's right! Human chain! Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Human chain! - Human chain! - Human chain! Do not do a human chain! I said no human chain! I changed my mind! Clarence, no more human chain! Ooh! - I'm gonna die! No! No! - Josh, I'm scared! Don't worry, Josh.
Nature Kate says that if you just believe in nature, then nature will Excuse me.
Oh, my gosh! It's the hot tub aliens! Huh? - Nature Kate! - And Sumo? And then and then I farted on him! I'm not cut out for nature.
I belong in a grocery store.
I'm grocery Josh! And if you can't accept that, well, then it's over between us! Oh.
That is great, 'cause I've sorta been seeing Damien for a while now - and I didn't know how to tell you.
- What?! Ah.
You know, guys, when we were out there in the middle of nowhere with all of the dangerous stuff around us, I wasn't even scared.
Because we were in mother nature and mother nature would never do anything to hurt us.
- Right, Sumo? - Yeah, that sounds true.
My ear! Oh, no! Where is it?! Oh, it's under the seat! It's under the seat! Somebody get it! It's under the seat!