Evening Shade s01e17 Episode Script

Wood, don't go to sleep.
I need to talk to you.
Too late.
It's important.
Well, does it require either one of us to be naked? No.
Good night.
Wood, I ran into Elvey Carr down at Fauch's Drug Store today.
Mm-hmm.
She got mooned.
Good night.
She said it was Taylor.
How would she recognize him from that angle? I don't know.
Mm-hmm.
Honey, what is happening to our son? I mean, last month you caught him and Melvin Brown sneaking into the Rogers Theatre through the fire exit.
Well, that's a childish prank.
You know, this is our son we're talking about.
Do you know how easy it is for these things to escalate? I bet this is how Henry Mumford got started.
Henry Mumford killed two Jehovah Witnesses with a rake.
It's just that Taylor is at a very impressionable age, you know? He will take any dare to avoid being called a coward.
What do I have to do? Well.
Okay.
Well, I was thinking, you know, how this weekend is your annual hunting trip with Ponder and Daddy.
Well, no, why, why not? I got a whole bunch of reasons.
Well, I'd like to hear them sometime.
But you know, he looks up to the three of you.
And it wouldn't hurt you to spend a little extra time with your son, either.
You could have a nice man-to-man talk.
Mm-hmm.
Do you really not want him to go? It's not that, honey.
We-we promised Herman that he could go this year for the first time, you know.
Actually, it would be very good to have somebody to keep an eye on Herman.
Great.
Oh, great.
He's gonna be so excited.
Yeah.
He can use my old gun.
You're not gonna let him shoot it, though, are you? No, no, he'll club the deer to death.
Wood! What if he I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's all right, honey.
He'll be fine.
Maybe bringing Taylor along isn't such a good idea.
Oh, sure it is.
We'd love to have him.
The more the merrier.
I may have spoken too soon.
Sportsman Stiles reporting.
I thought orange was the color of the day for hunters.
Oh, not anymore.
This is the latest.
It gives you substantially increased visibility.
With that you're going to be visible in the next county.
Well, it's the number one rule of the woods: always, at all times, make sure your fellow hunters know exactly where you are.
Oh, we'll know where you are.
We'll just listen for the little forest creatures giggling.
Hey, you guys, smell this.
That's the scent of a lovesick doe.
Any second now a white-tailed deer with a trophy-sized rack ought to come busting right on through that door.
Hi.
Well, speak of the devil.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, Miss Beausoleil.
Miss Fontana.
Hi, there.
Hey, please sit.
Hello.
Hey, Evan.
I brought you something for your trip.
Oh, you didn't need to do that.
Well, it's something to protect you.
It can be dangerous out there.
Promise me you'll wear this.
For you, anything.
It's you.
Looks like we're from the same outfit.
Well, thank you.
I'll wear this in the woods.
Right here it's drawing fire, instead of warding it off.
Okay, but you take care of yourself.
I will.
I want to see you back here in one piece on Sunday.
Well, uh, it may be pretty late.
Maybe it'll be better to get together on Monday.
Oh, but I had this real interesting outfit I wanted you to see.
I ordered it from the back of a magazine.
It came all the way from Paris, France.
The only thing is, I might need some help figuring out how to put it on.
We'll take a look at it Sunday night.
Okay.
I'll see you then.
All right.
Have a good trip.
Bye.
Nice seeing you.
Always good to see you.
Lord, it's good to see you.
Oh, hey, Taylor.
Hey, Taylor.
Taylor, come on.
Take a seat.
I believe that your daddy has something he wants to ask you.
I've been in the library all afternoon.
Well, that's very good, son.
Before you get rid of all those great alibis, don't you think you ought to find out what you're accused of? Well, what'd you need? You know our annual hunting trip, we go up to your grandfather's cabin? Yeah, you guys go up there and murder defenseless animals for sport; what about it? Well, if you've got such, you know, strong opinions about it, maybe you don't want to go.
No! Hey, I've been wanting to go on this trip ever since I was eight years old.
You're going.
Yes, you are.
All right! I mean, what I was saying before, you know, that was just Mom's opinion about the whole thing.
Yeah, women.
What do they know about the fire that gets in a man's belly? That hunting instinct that's been coursing through our veins ever since caveman days.
Uh, you think maybe we ought to tell them now? No, let's wait until we get to the cabin.
Tell us what? Oh, I got it.
It's some kind of secret initiation ceremony.
I bet they're gonna tie us to a tree and make us find our way to the cabin before wild animals rip us to bloody shreds.
Is it just me, or is he kind of scary? froze to death.
Yeah! This is ridiculous.
By the first year, all we had was sleeping bags and the clothes on our backs.
Yeah, and we had a lousy time and froze to death.
Did you bring your waffle iron? Of course.
We're in shape.
All right, gentlemen.
Exactly what are we going to do this weekend? Besides make waffles? I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go out in them woods, and we're gonna bond ourselves into a lean, mean, hunting machine.
Yeah! I think we'd better tell them.
Tell us what? You want to sit down, guys? Now, uh, what we're about to say, you have to keep a secret, okay? Oh, I got it.
It's that secret initiation ceremony I was telling you about.
Follow my lead.
May the hunting gods rip out my spleen if ever I divulge in an esoteric way Herman, Herman, Herman Uh, that won't be necessary.
Well, over the years this hunting trip has sort of evolved into something a little different, you know.
I mean, it's it's still a lot of fun, but it's-it's different, you know.
Taylor, your father hasn't exactly told you the truth.
We never kill anything.
We have a little target practice, but just for bragging rights.
But you guys always come back with these great stories.
Yeah, and you hand out pounds of venison and rabbit meat.
We buy it.
What?! What?! Well, on the way on the way home there's this great, little country store.
The best meat counter I've ever seen.
Yeah.
You mean you never go hunting at all? I wouldn't say never, 'cause we did go hunting Yes.
We did.
No.
No.
Not really.
No.
You mean, you all are just a bunch of frauds? No, we did, we went hunting, like, nine years ago.
Yeah.
Sure.
We hunted all the time when we first came up here, but then we stopped.
Good hunting.
Why? Well, one year we came up, it rained so hard we never got out of the cabin.
The following year we came up, it snowed.
Anyway, we stopped hunting, and, uh, we still have a lot of fun.
We have target practice.
And we tell stories.
Right.
Yeah, and wake up to Ponder's waffles.
Well, wait a minute.
If you guys don't go hunting at all, why don't you just call this a camping trip? That's a good question.
Uh we got a good answer for that? Well now, that's a simple question, but it does raise complex issues about the way we were raised.
That's right, it has to do with Southern tradition, the way Southern people look at hunters.
We don't want to look unmanly.
Ah, come on, Coach, I didn't come up here to eat waffles and go shopping.
I'm gonna go out there tomorrow, and I'm gonna bag me a deer.
Taylor, you're welcome to come with me if you want to.
If you gentlemen will excuse me, I got a weapon that needs fieldstripping and cleaning.
Morning.
Morning.
What time is it? Oh, it's early.
I wanted to talk to you before the other guys got up.
About what? How'd you sleep? Good.
Good.
I don't think I've ever gone to bed at 8:30 before.
So, uh, what do you want to do today? Oh, I don't know.
Leaving the cabin would be nice.
You know, I promised your mother I'd talk to you about something.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Hah, hah, it is great to be away from civilization.
Mm-hmm.
Roughing it.
Yeah.
The electric blanket work all right? Like a dream.
So, how about some breakfast? No, let me cook breakfast.
You cook eight hours a day.
Because you don't cook eight hours a day, I will do the breakfast.
All right.
Okay, who wants what? Coffee for me.
Coming up.
Plenty of it.
Hey, hey.
So you campers finally decided to drag yourselves out of bed? Well, there's a hunter's breeze blowing in from the east, and there's the scent of fresh game in there.
Little Fruity? You certainly are.
No, thank you, Herman.
Well, suit yourself.
I mean, it may not be the breakfast of champions, Shh.
but I tell you, for my what's the matter? What happened? Would you look at this? Oh.
Oh, my Lord.
He walked up on that porch just like he owned it.
Look at those antlers.
Well, I'll be darned.
Hey, they look pretty sharp.
Well, they are.
He could do some real damage with those.
Don't you worry.
I'll take care of him.
Why do you suppose he came up on the porch like that? I don't know.
Maybe he's hungry.
Well, why don't we feed him? Here.
Yeah.
Not Little Fruities.
Sorry, I'm fresh out of leaves and bark.
He likes it, yeah.
Hey.
All right, stand aside.
Give me a clear shot.
Herman, you're not going out on the porch and shoot that deer.
Of course I am.
Don't you understand? Animals, they can sense things.
On some level he understands that I'm gonna be out there tracking him all day.
This is his way of surrendering.
Now, crack that door.
Herman Darn it.
Uh could I borrow somebody's rifle? No! You're gonna make me go out there with nothing but a Swiss Army knife? What happened? He fainted.
Watch it.
It might be a trick.
A trick? He's gone.
How did he die? Natural causes.
A heart attack or something.
Well, he's gone.
There's nothing we can do.
Yeah.
Can you imagine this big guy being chased through the woods his whole life by hunters and bears, and he he-he dies on-on your front porch eating Little Fruities.
I think he had a stroke.
No, he didn't have a stroke.
Well, I've seen strokes before.
This looks like a stroke.
I think it was a heart attack.
Well, look at him.
He's in great shape.
You think maybe it was an aneurysm? I told you there were some hunters up here.
Oh, hey, fellas.
How ya doing? Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Morning.
It's a good one.
It sure is.
You can't walk through these woods out here without tripping over an eight-point buck.
You boys been doing a little hunting? Huh, that's a laugh.
Good God! It's Bull.
Who? Bull? Who? That buck is a legend in these woods.
A legend? Every year, hunters come from miles around to try to nail this sucker.
He gored a man once.
That's how he got his name.
I don't think he's gonna be goring anybody now.
I bet he weighs a ton.
How'd you guys get him on the porch? Well, it it wasn't as difficult as you think.
How'd you nail him? Well, that wasn't as difficult as you think, either.
No, but I'd stay away from them Little Fruities, if I were you.
I don't see a mark on him.
We didn't shoot him.
Well, then, what did you do? I mean, people are gonna want to hear this story.
Oh, there's-there's no story really.
Oh, come on now.
Old Bull didn't go out without a fight.
He rushed you, didn't he? Not exactly, no.
There ain't a mark on old Bull.
We ain't leaving till we get the whole story.
This ought to be a good one.
They're not leaving.
Well, then I guess you'd better tell them that story.
Yeah.
I strangled him.
You strangled him? He's an ex-pro football player.
He's got a grip like a vise.
It was, it was the darndest thing you've ever seen.
The deer rushed him.
It happened right over there.
It was an ambush.
Yeah.
I mean, there were antlers flying every I couldn't even get off a clear shot.
Do y'all know that this cabin's on federal land? Yeah.
I make a lease payment to the Park Service every year.
And the legal hunting area is several hundred yards thataway.
We know that.
Yes, sir, we do.
But you said he killed Bull right over there.
Right there.
Well, what are you gonna do, turn him in? No.
We're just gonna arrest him.
Hello.
We're game wardens.
Uh uh look.
There there's a big mistake here.
Yeah, I-I didn't I didn't kill the deer.
Uh-uh.
No.
What happened, Mr.
Vise-grip? He walk up on your porch and die of a heart attack? Actually, I think he had a stroke.
Oh, I'll tell you, Dad, that Big Mike, he tells some good stories.
Yeah.
Any about me? No.
He did say he has to keep you handcuffed out here until they analyze the deer's blood sample.
Well, I-I guess I could join you.
Thanks.
You know, I can't believe they think you poisoned Bull.
Yeah.
I should've told them that he committed suicide.
I think Big Mike would've bought that.
So, Dad, you, uh, you said you had something to talk to me about this morning.
Oh, yeah.
Your mom and I, we're a little concerned about these stunts you've been pulling lately.
Oh, look, Dad No, no, let me finish, let me finish.
You know, I-I'm I'm a busy guy, but, uh as a matter of fact, if I I go to prison I'll probably have even less time, but, uh, I always have, I'm always gonna make time for you, son, you know.
But, uh Elvey Carr, I mean, she's-she's-she's such a funny looking lady.
I mean, why would you do that? She's just a sw Dad, it-it was a joke.
I mean, the guys dared me.
Wait a minute.
How'd she know it was me? That's what concerns me.
I mean, if you did this just to prove to the older guys that you're a man, that's ridiculous.
Oh, I was just doing it 'cause I thought it was funny.
You-you mean the these stunts you were pulling were not a desperate cry for help? No.
You're just trying to be funny? Yeah, that's all.
Well, don't do it anymore.
Whatever you say.
You know, I mean, you gotta conduct yourself with some kind of dignity and pride, a- a-and not embarrass our family, and that's hard to say when you're handcuffed to a post.
Hey, here he comes.
Mmm.
Well, the vet says there's no sign of foul play, and he didn't die on Little Fruities.
Mmm.
So, you're free to go.
Okay.
A stream of hunters come by the office, ask what you're gonna do with old Bull.
Well, w-w-what would you do with him? Well, a couple of guys offered $500 for his antlers.
Another guy wanted to stuff old Bull- put him in the backyard for the kids.
As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever you want.
We can't let them do that, Dad.
Who are all these hunters? They say they're waiting for the eulogy.
Well, it's not a funeral.
I mean, we you know, we-we just buried him so he wouldn't be stuffed or sold off for body parts and stuff.
Get them get them out of here, Herman.
Okay, folks, show's over! There's nothing to see here! Let's move it on home! Well, we was, uh we was kind of hoping maybe you'd say a few words.
Why? Well, y'all was the last ones to see him alive.
This is kind of the end of an era.
Say a few words.
Well, what am I gonna say? Something nice.
You've said eulogies before.
Well, not for a deer.
Wood, these men have guns.
And the reason for their living had a heart attack on my front porch.
Okay, but I I'm not doing this alone, you know.
Bring them back, Herman.
Okay, he changed his mind! He's gonna say something! Come on over! Uh now, men, we'd like to say a-a few words.
Uh Mr.
Evans will go first.
What? It's your yard.
Okay.
Gentlemen We miss the things we've grown accustomed to, uh the things we've come to count on.
Now, you counted on Buck.
Bull.
Sorry.
Although I'm sure most of you wish you had the opportunity to kill him yourself it seems fitting that he died the way he did, not by a hunter's rifle, but by America's number one killer: heart disease.
Or a stroke.
We're not sure.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Well, it's always difficult to say good-bye to, uh to loved ones or friends, or your favorite target.
But, uh I- I know I know that Bull meant a lot to you men, and, well, he was he was quick, and he was he was he was big, and he was brown.
And, uh he was a he was a worthy adversary, and we're gonna miss him.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
And after they all fired off their guns, they kept coming over to me, shaking my hand, asking me about the last few minutes of Bull's life.
I'll tell ya, it was great.
Even though I was the youngest one there, they treated me like I was a man.
Hey, Will, I didn't have to take a shower the whole time I was there.
We noticed.
Didn't have to shave, either.
We didn't notice.
Dad, can I go hunting with you next year? Not-not next year, honey, but the year after that, maybe.
All right, I let you guys stay up till they came home, but now it's way past your bedtime.
Yeah, I'd better hit the shower myself.
Yeah.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night, sweetheart.
Oh I'm glad you had fun.
I am, too.
Thanks, Dad.
Good night, son.
Wow.
It really sounds like he enjoyed himself, huh? Yeah.
It was the best hunting trip ever.
Mmm.
Did you get a chance to talk to him? Well, in a manner of speaking, yeah.
I don't like the way that sounds.
No, it was a kind of father-and-son thing.
I want to talk to you about the hunting trip, though.
What about it? Well, you know, over the years, it's-it's kind of evolved into something different, but it's still a lot of fun.
You don't hunt.
How'd you know that? Honey, I've known that for years.
Really.
Mmm.
We bring home venison.
You buy it.
Phil's Mountain Mart.
You should use somebody else's trash can when you're throwing away the wrappers.
Why didn't you say something? Well, 'cause it made you happy, you know.
It wasn't hurting anybody especially the deer.
Boy at times like this I'm so glad I married you.
Hmm, you should be.
Who else would let you get this close when you smell this bad? Boys will be boys But I like it.
and so will men, if they get half a chance, which they sometimes do in a place called Evening Shade.
In Evening Shade We ain't afraid to get a little laid-back And let the daylight fade Life goes slow and it's worth a lot more When you got it made And we got it made in the shade Evening Shade.