Get Smart (1965) s01e17 Episode Script
Kisses for KAOS
( baby crying ) OH, BABY MUST BE HUNGRY.
( crying continues ) ( crying ceases ) - 86.
- 99.
THE CHIEF WANTS YOUR SURVEILLANCE REPORT.
RIGHT.
"8:40 THE CONSUL GENERAL ENTERED.
AT 9:12 A TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN WENT IN AND CAME OUT AGAIN AT 9:46.
NOTHING SUSPICIOUS THERE.
" A TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN? BUT, MAX, A PHONY TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN COULD HAVE ANYTHING HIDDEN IN HIS REPAIR KIT.
HE WAS CHECKED OUT BY SECURITY.
BELIEVE ME, 99, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
I KNOW, MAX, BUT SUPPOSING SOMEONE IS TRYING TO BLOW UP THIS CONSULATE? WE DON'T KNOW THAT, 99.
ALL WE KNOW IS THE ANONYMOUS TIP SAID THAT THE CONSUL GENERAL'S LIFE WAS IN DANGER.
NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO GET ON WITH MY REPORT.
- SORRY, MAX.
- "AT 10:15, A STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICIAL ENTERED.
HE LEFT AT 11:22.
AT 12:06, A MAN DELIVERED A PAINTING AND CAME OUT JUST THREE MINUTES AGO.
" - NOW GIVE ME YOUR PEN AND I'LL SIGN THE REPORT.
- RIGHT.
"12:09.
THE CONSULATE BLEW UP.
" ( theme music playing ) WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS? IN THE WRECKAGE OF THE CONSULATE, CHIEF.
IT'S PART OF A PAINTING THAT WAS DELIVERED FROM AN ART GALLERY JUST A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE EXPLOSION.
AN ART GALLERY OWNED BY A MAN NAMED REX SAVAGE? RIGHT, CHIEF.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? PIECES OF PAINTINGS FROM THE SAVAGE GALLERY HAVE BEEN FOUND AT THE SCENE OF THE LAST TWO EXPLOSIONS.
- WHERE WERE THE OTHER TWO EXPLOSIONS, CHIEF? - AN EMBASSY AND POLICE STATION.
- ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM? - ALL THREE PLACES HAD INFORMATION ON FILE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DETRIMENTAL TO KAOS.
THAT INFORMATION WAS DESTROYED IN EACH EXPLOSION.
I THINK IT'S TIME FOR INTELLIGENCE TO GIVE US A RUNDOWN ON REX SAVAGE.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
I'VE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT.
I'M HAVING THE INFORMATION TRANSFERRED HERE THROUGH OUR INTEROFFICE TOP SECRET RELAY.
- ( siren wailing ) - I THINK IT'S COMING THROUGH NOW, CHIEF.
I'LL GET IT.
THANK YOU, MAX.
THE INTELLIGENCE SECTION APPARENTLY HAS NO FILE ON SAVAGE-- NO PICTURE, NO FINGERPRINTS, NOTHING.
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT, CHIEF.
WELL, EITHER OUR BOYS ARE LYING DOWN ON THE JOB OR THIS ROCK IS A FORGERY.
NO, THAT'S THE OFFICIAL CONTROL ROCK, MAX.
- LOOK.
- OH, YES.
OUR NAME AND ADDRESS IS ON IT.
"IF FOUND, DROP IN ANY MAILBOX.
" I WANT SAVAGE'S FINGERPRINTS AND A PICTURE TAKEN OF HIM RIGHT AWAY.
OF A WEALTHY SOCIETY GIRL.
- A PATRON OF THE ARTS, RIGHT? - CORRECT.
MAKE CONTACT WITH HIM AND USE THIS PENCIL.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
WON'T IT LOOK A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS IF SHE STARTS DRAWING HIS PICTURE? IT'S FOR HIS FINGERPRINTS, MAX.
THIS PENCIL HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY TREATED.
IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO TOUCH IT WITH HIS FINGERS IT WILL LEAVE AN IMPRESSION OF HIS PRINTS.
RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT ME, CHIEF? YOU CAN POSE AS HER CHAUFFEUR.
- OH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- THANK YOU.
AND HAVE PARKER HIDE A MICROCAMERA SOMEWHERE IN YOUR UNIFORM SO YOU CAN TAKE SAVAGE'S PICTURE.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
COME ON, 99.
- OKAY.
OH, MAX, WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT ROCK GOES BACK TO MESSAGE CENTER.
OH.
RIGHT, CHIEF.
HERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
- A LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU, REX.
- SEE YOU SOON? - OF COURSE.
- GOODBYE.
- GOODBYE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE THROUGH WITH THAT GRETA COVAC.
HER CONSULATE HAS ALREADY BEEN BLOWN UP.
SHE CAME IN AND STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS.
SHE MUST BE ELIMINATED.
SHE WILL, MONDO.
I JUST GAVE HER ONE OF OUR INGENIOUS WORKS OF ART WITH THE TIME EXPLOSIVE PAINT.
IN FIVE MINUTES, THERE WON'T BE A TRACE OF HER.
WHAT A COMBINATION OF TALENTS-- HERE AM I, ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST ARTISTS, AND YOU, ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST INGENIOUS CHEMISTS.
AND AFTER OUR NEXT PAINTING IS DELIVERED, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL HEAR OF US.
WHERE WILL IT HANG? IN THE PENTAGON.
I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND MODERN ART, MAX.
WHAT DO THESE PAINTINGS MEAN? IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE.
- LET'S TAKE THIS PAINTING OVER HERE AS AN EXAMPLE.
- OKAY.
NOW LET ME SEE I THINK THIS IS A STREET SCENE.
YOU SEE, THE BUILDINGS IN THE BACKGROUND SYMBOLIZE THE VAST FORCES OF NATURE; AND THE LONELINESS, INSIGNIFICANCE AND CONSTANT STRUGGLE OF MAN IS REPRESENTED BY THAT LITTLE BLACK DOT.
( buzzes ) MAX, LOOK AT THAT MODERN SCULPTURE.
IT'S MADE OUT OF A DENTED HUBCAP, RUSTY FENDER, TIN CANS, NUTS AND BOLTS AND A BICYCLE CHAIN.
YES, HE'S GIVEN US MAN'S ETERNAL STRUGGLE AGAINST THE UNIVERSE OUT OF A PILE OF JUNK.
WHAT'S IT CALLED? "A PILE OF JUNK.
" MONDO, IT'S 8:00.
WE'LL CLOSE THE GALLERY AS SOON AS THESE PEOPLE LEAVE.
YES, MR.
SAVAGE.
MAX, THAT'S SAVAGE.
IS YOUR CAMERA READY? I'LL CHECK.
NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET HIS FACE IN FRONT OF THIS LENS AND THEN PRESS THIS BUTTON - AND I'VE GOT HIS PICTURE.
- RIGHT.
I'LL GET HIS FINGERPRINTS ON THE SPECIAL PENCIL.
GOOD EVENING.
I'D BE HONORED TO OFFER MY ASSISTANCE TO SOMEONE SO ATTRACTIVE.
WELL, THANK YOU, BUT IT'S THE LADY WHO'S INTERESTED IN BUYING A PAINTING.
YES, I, UM-- - OH, MY.
- AH!I'LL GET IT.
- THERE WE ARE.
- THANK YOU, MAXWELL.
WHAT STYLE OF PAINTING DO YOU FEEL MOST AT HOME WITH, MISS? WESTBROOK.
MELISSA WESTBROOK.
OH, I LIKE MANY DIFFERENT STYLES.
MY OWN COLLECTION IS VARIED.
- OH, I-- - I'LL GET IT.
AFTER YOU, SIR.
HERE YOU ARE.
WOULD THE MODERN TECHNIQUE OF PAINTING APPEAL TO YOU? OH, YES, IT DOES VERY MUCH IN THE HANDS OF THE PROPER ARTIST OF COURSE.
WELL, WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SELECTION.
IN THAT CORNER, WE HAVE SOME RATHER INTERESTING EXAMPLES - OF IMPRESSIONIST PAINTING.
- HMM.
AND OVER ON THAT WALL ARE SOME OF OUR BETTER NON-OBJECTIVE WORKS.
AND OF COURSE AS YOU CAN SEE THERE ARE EXAMPLES OF CUBISTIC, - SURREALIST AND EVEN THE NATURALISTIC TECHNIQUES.
- UH-HUH.
( whispers ) IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR CHAUFFEUR? UM, MAXWELL'S A LIP READER.
Mondo: MR.
SAVAGE? JUST A MOMENT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- OF COURSE.
- MISSED.
- SET IT UP AGAIN, MAX.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME ABOUT THE PENCIL.
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE THAT THE CHIEF WOULD GO FOR A NICE GOOD CLEAN SET OF GLOVE PRINTS, DO YOU? WAIT A MINUTE.
IF I COULD JUST GET HIM ALONE.
RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALONE? HE CAN'T KEEP HIS GLOVES ON FOREVER.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ALONE WITH HIM.
MAX, YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE JEALOUS.
PFFT.
JEALOUS.
NOW THAT'S RIDICULOUS, 99.
IT'S JUST THAT THAT MAN MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE A DANGEROUS KISSER-- UH, KILLER.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE TWO, SOMETHING PECULIAR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M SURE I'VE SEEN THAT MAN BEFORE.
GET HIS PICTURE AND WE'LL CHECK IT THROUGH KAOS HEADQUARTERS.
I'LL KEEP THE GIRL BUSY.
- OH, MISS WESTBROOK? - YES, MR.
SAVAGE? PLEASE CALL ME REX.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE CALL ME MELISSA.
MELISSA, TAKE A LOOK AT THESE.
- WELL, SIR.
- JUST CALL ME MAXWELL.
MAXWELL.
THERE'S A PAINTING OVER HERE I THINK YOU OUGHT TO SEE.
- I'D LOVE TO.
- IT'S JUST OVER HERE.
I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE FINEST EXAMPLES OF REALISTIC PAINTING THAT WE HAVE EVER HAD.
- WHAT IS IT CALLED? - "THE CAMERA.
" HOW PROVOCATIVE.
IF YOU LOOK A LITTLE MORE CLOSELY YOU'LL SEE THAT THE PAINTER HAS INCLUDED EVERY DETAIL.
MARVELOUS WORK, DON'T YOU THINK? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN SHOW YOU? YES, HOW ABOUT SOME COLD COMPRESSES FOR MY EYES? FUNNIEST-LOOKING PAINTING I'VE EVER SEEN.
UH, MISS WESTBROOK, ARE YOU READY TO LEAVE NOW? MR.
SAVAGE IS GOING TO DRIVE ME HOME, MAXWELL.
- YOU CAN GO ON AHEAD.
- WHAT ABOUT ME? I MEAN, WHY CAN'T I DRIVE THE TWO OF YOU? TWO'S COMPANY.
THREE'S A CROWD.
MAYBE I COULD GET A FRIEND.
- JUST THE TWO OF US.
- THAT'LL BE ALL, MAXWELL.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL EVENING.
I THOUGHT PERHAPS WE MIGHT TAKE A DRIVE THROUGH THE PARK.
OH, MR.
SAVAGE? YES? HELLO, CHIEF? MAX.
I'M IN LOVER'S LANE.
LISTEN, CHIEF, BEFORE I FILL YOU IN, I WANT YOU TO GIVE A MESSAGE TO PARKER AT THE LAB.
TELL HIM THAT THERE ARE A FEW ADJUSTMENTS NEEDED ON THE STEERING WHEEL PHONE.
EVERY TIME I TURN THE CORNER, I DIAL THE OPERATOR.
NEVER MIND THAT, MAX.
JUST GIVE ME YOUR REPORT.
RIGHT, CHIEF.
99 IS IN THE CAR WITH SAVAGE.
SHE'S STILL TRYING TO GET HIS FINGERPRINTS.
I THINK HE'S BEGINNING TO HELP HER.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT IN LOVER'S LANE BY YOURSELF.
IT COULD DRAW ATTENTION TO YOU.
DON'T WORRY, CHIEF.
I HAVE MY INFLATE-O-GIRL WITH ME.
- OKAY, MAX.
- I'LL CHECK IN LATER.
THIS MOONLIGHT IS MADE-TO-ORDER.
MMM.
IT'S JUST PERFECT.
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT? YOUR GLOVE IS SCRATCHING MY CHEEK.
WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY JUST, UH-- WHY, OF COURSE NOT, MY DEAR.
I'M SORRY.
OH, IT'S NOTHING REALLY.
IS THAT BETTER? JUST LOVELY, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, FELLA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE? ACTUALLY, NOTHING, OFFICER.
WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LOOKING AT THE TREES.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THAT DUMMY? WELL, THIS IS LOVER'S LANE, ISN'T IT? I'D LOOK PRETTY PECULIAR SITTING UP HERE BY MYSELF.
WHAT KIND OF A WEIRDO ARE YOU? OH, I DON'T KNOW, JUST A PLAIN, NORMAL, EVERYDAY WEIRDO, I GUESS.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING UP HERE.
WELL, I CAN EXPLAIN, OFFICER.
YOU SEE, I NEEDED A GIRL, AND I CARRY THIS ONE IN MY TRUNK.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
THIS ISN'T REALLY MY GIRL.
I JUST USE HER FOR EMERGENCIES.
YOU SEE, OFFICER, I'M A SECRET-- WELL, I'D BETTER NOT REVEAL MY IDENTITY.
( hissing ) OFFICER, DO YOU KNOW WHERE I COULD GET A FLAT FIXED? MAX, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL AND NOT CALL ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.
BUT I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG, CHIEF.
I WAS JUST SITTING IN MY CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM WITH MY RUBBER DUMMY.
SO WHAT DID THE POLICE CHARGE YOU WITH? VIOLATING SECTION 387(b) OF THE PENAL CODE.
WHICH IS? SITTING IN A CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM NEXT TO A RUBBER DUMMY.
OH, YES, THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THAT LAW REPEALED FOR SEVERAL YEARS.
WHO HAS? THE RUBBER DUMMY LOBBY.
WELL, THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT ANYWAY, CHIEF.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX.
NOW WHAT ABOUT SAVAGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS? WELL, I COULDN'T GET ANY PICTURES OF HIM.
YOU WHAT? I'M SORRY, CHIEF.
BUT I'VE GOT SOME BEAUTS OF MYSELF.
WHAT ABOUT SAVAGE'S FINGERPRINTS? OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW, CHIEF, HE WEARS GLOVES AND HE NEVER TAKES THOSE GLOVES OFF FOR A MINUTE.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
HERE WE ARE, ONE OF THE BEST-KNOWN SECRET ORGANIZATIONS IN THE COUNTRY, AND WE CAN'T EVEN GET A SIMPLE LITTLE SET OF FINGERPRINTS.
CHIEF, I'VE JUST MADE A DATE WITH REX SAVAGE.
HE'S COMING TO MY APARTMENT FOR AN INTIMATE SUPPER.
YOU DID WHAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT, CHIEF? AN INTIMATE SUPPER DATE WITH THAT POTENTIAL KILLER.
GOOD WORK, 99.
GOOD WORK, 99.
I NEW YOU'D LIKE OUR PLAN, CHIEF.
NOW APPARENTLY THERE ARE ONLY TWO OCCASIONS WHEN REX TAKES HIS GLOVES OFF.
ONE IS WHEN HE EATS AND THE OTHER IS WHEN HE BATHES.
HE'S COMING UP TO MY PLACE ABOUT 11:00.
ISN'T THAT A LITTLE LATE FOR A BATH? MAX, IT'S AN INTIMATE SUPPER.
EXCELLENT.
LISTEN, CHIEF.
WHY DON'T THEY COME TO MY APARTMENT? I COULD ACT AS THE BUTLER AND KEEP MY EYE ON SAVAGE.
GOOD IDEA.
YOUR APARTMENT IS LARGER.
IT'S MORE THE KIND OF PLACE THAT MELISSA WESTPORT MIGHT LIVE IN.
THIS MAY BE OUR CHANCE TO GET A FULL DOSSIER ON SAVAGE.
- LET'S GO DOWN TO THE LAB.
- RIGHT.
THIS TABLEWARE IS SPECIALLY RIGGED.
WHEN THIS SUBJECT SITS DOWN TO HIS MEAL, THE FOLLOWING THINGS WILL HAPPEN: THIS CHEMICALLY TREATED SOUP SPOON WILL TRIGGER A CAMERA BUILT INTO THE BOTTOM OF A SOUP PLATE.
EVERY TIME I TAKE A SPOONFUL OF SOUP, THE PLATE TAKES MY PICTURE.
WATCH.
WHAT ABOUT THE FLASH? WON'T HE SEE THE FLASH? AH, IT WILL BE ABSORBED BY THE SOUP.
AND YOU'LL HAVE TO REMOVE THE SOUP PLATE - BEFORE HE GETS TO THE BOTTOM.
- RIGHT.
AND THIS ROLL IS MADE OUT OF A SPECIAL COMPOSITE.
WHEN THE SUBJECT TAKES IT, IT WILL MAKE A PERFECT IMPRESSION OF ALL OF HIS FINGERPRINTS, WHICH MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO GET IT AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE HE EATS IT.
OR USE ANOTHER ROLL.
VERY GOOD, PARKER.
- ANYTHING ELSE, PROFESSOR? - ONE MORE DEVICE.
THIS BOWL OF FRUIT WILL GIVE US A SAMPLE OF THE SUBJECT'S SPEAKING VOICE.
THERE IS A TAPE RECORDER BUILT INTO THIS APPLE.
Max: THAT'S FANTASTIC, PROFESSOR.
BUT WHERE'S THE MICROPHONE? OH, THE MICROPHONE, IT'S RIGHT IN H-- IN YOUR STOMACH.
THANK YOU.
- TO YOU.
- TO US.
- LISTEN - HMM.
EVER SINCE I MET YOU, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT I'M ABLE TO THINK ABOUT.
WHAT'S THAT, REX? FIVE MINUTES TO DINNER.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE ALONE TONIGHT.
OH, MAXWELL? HE'S JUST HERE TO SERVE SUPPER.
AFTER THAT, I ASSURE YOU, WE'LL BE QUITE ALONE.
I HOPE THAT THIS WILL BE THE FIRST OF MANY MIDNIGHT SUPPERS, MY DEAR.
SO DO I, REX.
- AS I WAS SAYING - HMM.
THE ONLY THING THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT ALL DAY IS COME AND GET IT! MAXWELL.
WELL I GUESS WE HAD BETTER GO EAT SUPPER.
OH, COME ON, REX.
DON'T LET MAXWELL BOTHER YOU.
ACTUALLY, HE'S BEEN IN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HIM.
MAY I SUGGEST THE RACK? THANK YOU, MAXWELL.
YOU'RE WELCOME, 99.
WHAT DID HE CALL YOU? HE SAID, "NIGHTY-NIGHT.
" IT'S A LITTLE GAME WE USED TO PLAY AS CHILDREN.
NIGHTY-NIGHT, MAXWELL.
TRY THE SOUP, REX.
I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.
- WHAT KIND IS IT? - CREAM OF TECHNICOLOR.
MMM.
VERY GOOD.
VERY.
I WASN'T FINISHED.
WE DON'T WANT THE SOUP TO GET COLD, SIR.
HERE, WHY DON'T YOU TRY A ROLL? THANK YOU.
( knocking on door ) - WHO COULD THAT BE? - I'LL GET IT, MA'AM.
IN THE MEANTIME, WHY DON'T YOU TWO JUST TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES? AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP.
UH, MAXWELL, TELL WHOMEVER'S AT THE DOOR TO COME BACK TOMORROW.
YES, MA'AM.
I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND COMING BACK TOMORROW.
SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T STAND REJECTION.
STAND BACK AND KEEP YOUR HANDS UP.
MONDO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED, SAVAGE.
THIS MAN IS NO BUTLER.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
WE'VE GOT A REPORT ON HIS PHOTOGRAPH FROM KAOS HEADQUARTERS.
HE'S MAXWELL SMART, AN AGENT FOR CONTROL.
MAX, HERE! GOOD THROW, 99.
GOOD CATCH, MONDO! YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, SAVAGE.
OH? WHY, MR.
SMART? BECAUSE AT THIS VERY MINUTE ARE CONVERGING ON THIS BUILDING WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE TWO SQUAD CARS AND A MOTORCYCLE COP? I DON'T THINK SO.
HOW ABOUT A VICIOUS STREET CLEANER AND A TOOTHLESS POLICE DOG? IF YOU WERE EXPECTING HELP, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE ALREADY.
NOW, MY DEAR MELISSA, YOU ARE GOING TO PAINT MR.
SMART TO DEATH.
YES, THIS CAN CONTAINS EXPLOSIVE PAINT WITH A TIMING DEVICE MIXED IN.
THIS PAINT CONTAINS A VIBRATION EXPLOSIVE.
IT DETONATES THE MOMENT A WINDOW OR A DOOR IS SLAMMED.
AND THIS CAN CONTAINS NITRO FLOOR PAINT.
IT EXPLODES THE INSTANT ANYONE STEPS ON IT.
NOW YOU START PAINTING MR.
SMART WITH THE TIME EXPLOSIVE MIXTURE.
- NITRO FLOOR PAINT.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
ONE FALSE MOVE AND YOU'LL BE BLOWN TO KINGDOM COME.
COME ON, MAX.
GOOD WORK, 99.
WELL, WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
THEY THINK JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE SIDE OF GOOD THAT WE'RE SOFT, BUT WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS THAT WE'RE TOUGH AND HARD AND DO A VERY NICE JOB.
THAT'S WHY THEY ARE TRAPPED IN THIS ROOM AND CAN'T GET OUT.
COME ON, 99.
WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T MOVE.
YOU'RE IN THE SAME POSITION AS WE ARE.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE THIS ROOM EITHER.
IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP, WE'LL ALL BE BLOWN TO BITS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
GOT ANY IDEAS, MAX? WELL, WHY DON'T WE ALL JOIN IN A BIG CHORUS OF "HELP"? - All: HELP! - Max: SHH.
THE VIBRATION PAINT.
( quietly ) HELP! HELP! WELL, THAT FINISHES UP THE APARTMENT, 99.
A NICE, FRESH PAINT JOB.
YOU DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB, MAX.
OH, THANK YOU, 99.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE CHIEF RESCUED US AND I SAW ALL THESE CANS OF PAINT LAYING AROUND SAVAGE'S ART GALLERY, - I FIGURED I MIGHT AS WELL PUT THEM TO GOOD USE.
- HMM.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO DOWN TO THE DINER AND I BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE WHILE THE PAINT DRIES? LOVELY.
MAX, ARE YOU SURE THIS PAINT'S ALL RIGHT? OF COURSE IT IS.
I CHECKED EVERY CAN OF PAINT IN THE GALLERY AND MEMORIZED THE NON-EXPLOSIVE ONES.
COME ON.
( explosion ) MAX DON'T WORRY, 99.
I COVERED THE FURNITURE.
( theme music playing )
( crying continues ) ( crying ceases ) - 86.
- 99.
THE CHIEF WANTS YOUR SURVEILLANCE REPORT.
RIGHT.
"8:40 THE CONSUL GENERAL ENTERED.
AT 9:12 A TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN WENT IN AND CAME OUT AGAIN AT 9:46.
NOTHING SUSPICIOUS THERE.
" A TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN? BUT, MAX, A PHONY TELEPHONE REPAIRMAN COULD HAVE ANYTHING HIDDEN IN HIS REPAIR KIT.
HE WAS CHECKED OUT BY SECURITY.
BELIEVE ME, 99, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
I KNOW, MAX, BUT SUPPOSING SOMEONE IS TRYING TO BLOW UP THIS CONSULATE? WE DON'T KNOW THAT, 99.
ALL WE KNOW IS THE ANONYMOUS TIP SAID THAT THE CONSUL GENERAL'S LIFE WAS IN DANGER.
NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO GET ON WITH MY REPORT.
- SORRY, MAX.
- "AT 10:15, A STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICIAL ENTERED.
HE LEFT AT 11:22.
AT 12:06, A MAN DELIVERED A PAINTING AND CAME OUT JUST THREE MINUTES AGO.
" - NOW GIVE ME YOUR PEN AND I'LL SIGN THE REPORT.
- RIGHT.
"12:09.
THE CONSULATE BLEW UP.
" ( theme music playing ) WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS? IN THE WRECKAGE OF THE CONSULATE, CHIEF.
IT'S PART OF A PAINTING THAT WAS DELIVERED FROM AN ART GALLERY JUST A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE EXPLOSION.
AN ART GALLERY OWNED BY A MAN NAMED REX SAVAGE? RIGHT, CHIEF.
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? PIECES OF PAINTINGS FROM THE SAVAGE GALLERY HAVE BEEN FOUND AT THE SCENE OF THE LAST TWO EXPLOSIONS.
- WHERE WERE THE OTHER TWO EXPLOSIONS, CHIEF? - AN EMBASSY AND POLICE STATION.
- ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM? - ALL THREE PLACES HAD INFORMATION ON FILE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DETRIMENTAL TO KAOS.
THAT INFORMATION WAS DESTROYED IN EACH EXPLOSION.
I THINK IT'S TIME FOR INTELLIGENCE TO GIVE US A RUNDOWN ON REX SAVAGE.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
I'VE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT.
I'M HAVING THE INFORMATION TRANSFERRED HERE THROUGH OUR INTEROFFICE TOP SECRET RELAY.
- ( siren wailing ) - I THINK IT'S COMING THROUGH NOW, CHIEF.
I'LL GET IT.
THANK YOU, MAX.
THE INTELLIGENCE SECTION APPARENTLY HAS NO FILE ON SAVAGE-- NO PICTURE, NO FINGERPRINTS, NOTHING.
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT, CHIEF.
WELL, EITHER OUR BOYS ARE LYING DOWN ON THE JOB OR THIS ROCK IS A FORGERY.
NO, THAT'S THE OFFICIAL CONTROL ROCK, MAX.
- LOOK.
- OH, YES.
OUR NAME AND ADDRESS IS ON IT.
"IF FOUND, DROP IN ANY MAILBOX.
" I WANT SAVAGE'S FINGERPRINTS AND A PICTURE TAKEN OF HIM RIGHT AWAY.
OF A WEALTHY SOCIETY GIRL.
- A PATRON OF THE ARTS, RIGHT? - CORRECT.
MAKE CONTACT WITH HIM AND USE THIS PENCIL.
WAIT A MINUTE, CHIEF.
WON'T IT LOOK A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS IF SHE STARTS DRAWING HIS PICTURE? IT'S FOR HIS FINGERPRINTS, MAX.
THIS PENCIL HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY TREATED.
IF YOU CAN GET HIM TO TOUCH IT WITH HIS FINGERS IT WILL LEAVE AN IMPRESSION OF HIS PRINTS.
RIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT ME, CHIEF? YOU CAN POSE AS HER CHAUFFEUR.
- OH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- THANK YOU.
AND HAVE PARKER HIDE A MICROCAMERA SOMEWHERE IN YOUR UNIFORM SO YOU CAN TAKE SAVAGE'S PICTURE.
- RIGHT, CHIEF.
COME ON, 99.
- OKAY.
OH, MAX, WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT ROCK GOES BACK TO MESSAGE CENTER.
OH.
RIGHT, CHIEF.
HERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR.
- A LITTLE GIFT FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU, REX.
- SEE YOU SOON? - OF COURSE.
- GOODBYE.
- GOODBYE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE THROUGH WITH THAT GRETA COVAC.
HER CONSULATE HAS ALREADY BEEN BLOWN UP.
SHE CAME IN AND STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS.
SHE MUST BE ELIMINATED.
SHE WILL, MONDO.
I JUST GAVE HER ONE OF OUR INGENIOUS WORKS OF ART WITH THE TIME EXPLOSIVE PAINT.
IN FIVE MINUTES, THERE WON'T BE A TRACE OF HER.
WHAT A COMBINATION OF TALENTS-- HERE AM I, ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST ARTISTS, AND YOU, ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST INGENIOUS CHEMISTS.
AND AFTER OUR NEXT PAINTING IS DELIVERED, THE WHOLE WORLD WILL HEAR OF US.
WHERE WILL IT HANG? IN THE PENTAGON.
I DON'T THINK I UNDERSTAND MODERN ART, MAX.
WHAT DO THESE PAINTINGS MEAN? IT'S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE.
- LET'S TAKE THIS PAINTING OVER HERE AS AN EXAMPLE.
- OKAY.
NOW LET ME SEE I THINK THIS IS A STREET SCENE.
YOU SEE, THE BUILDINGS IN THE BACKGROUND SYMBOLIZE THE VAST FORCES OF NATURE; AND THE LONELINESS, INSIGNIFICANCE AND CONSTANT STRUGGLE OF MAN IS REPRESENTED BY THAT LITTLE BLACK DOT.
( buzzes ) MAX, LOOK AT THAT MODERN SCULPTURE.
IT'S MADE OUT OF A DENTED HUBCAP, RUSTY FENDER, TIN CANS, NUTS AND BOLTS AND A BICYCLE CHAIN.
YES, HE'S GIVEN US MAN'S ETERNAL STRUGGLE AGAINST THE UNIVERSE OUT OF A PILE OF JUNK.
WHAT'S IT CALLED? "A PILE OF JUNK.
" MONDO, IT'S 8:00.
WE'LL CLOSE THE GALLERY AS SOON AS THESE PEOPLE LEAVE.
YES, MR.
SAVAGE.
MAX, THAT'S SAVAGE.
IS YOUR CAMERA READY? I'LL CHECK.
NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS GET HIS FACE IN FRONT OF THIS LENS AND THEN PRESS THIS BUTTON - AND I'VE GOT HIS PICTURE.
- RIGHT.
I'LL GET HIS FINGERPRINTS ON THE SPECIAL PENCIL.
GOOD EVENING.
I'D BE HONORED TO OFFER MY ASSISTANCE TO SOMEONE SO ATTRACTIVE.
WELL, THANK YOU, BUT IT'S THE LADY WHO'S INTERESTED IN BUYING A PAINTING.
YES, I, UM-- - OH, MY.
- AH!I'LL GET IT.
- THERE WE ARE.
- THANK YOU, MAXWELL.
WHAT STYLE OF PAINTING DO YOU FEEL MOST AT HOME WITH, MISS? WESTBROOK.
MELISSA WESTBROOK.
OH, I LIKE MANY DIFFERENT STYLES.
MY OWN COLLECTION IS VARIED.
- OH, I-- - I'LL GET IT.
AFTER YOU, SIR.
HERE YOU ARE.
WOULD THE MODERN TECHNIQUE OF PAINTING APPEAL TO YOU? OH, YES, IT DOES VERY MUCH IN THE HANDS OF THE PROPER ARTIST OF COURSE.
WELL, WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SELECTION.
IN THAT CORNER, WE HAVE SOME RATHER INTERESTING EXAMPLES - OF IMPRESSIONIST PAINTING.
- HMM.
AND OVER ON THAT WALL ARE SOME OF OUR BETTER NON-OBJECTIVE WORKS.
AND OF COURSE AS YOU CAN SEE THERE ARE EXAMPLES OF CUBISTIC, - SURREALIST AND EVEN THE NATURALISTIC TECHNIQUES.
- UH-HUH.
( whispers ) IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR CHAUFFEUR? UM, MAXWELL'S A LIP READER.
Mondo: MR.
SAVAGE? JUST A MOMENT.
- EXCUSE ME.
- OF COURSE.
- MISSED.
- SET IT UP AGAIN, MAX.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME ABOUT THE PENCIL.
YOU DON'T SUPPOSE THAT THE CHIEF WOULD GO FOR A NICE GOOD CLEAN SET OF GLOVE PRINTS, DO YOU? WAIT A MINUTE.
IF I COULD JUST GET HIM ALONE.
RIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALONE? HE CAN'T KEEP HIS GLOVES ON FOREVER.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE ALONE WITH HIM.
MAX, YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE JEALOUS.
PFFT.
JEALOUS.
NOW THAT'S RIDICULOUS, 99.
IT'S JUST THAT THAT MAN MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE A DANGEROUS KISSER-- UH, KILLER.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE TWO, SOMETHING PECULIAR.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I'M SURE I'VE SEEN THAT MAN BEFORE.
GET HIS PICTURE AND WE'LL CHECK IT THROUGH KAOS HEADQUARTERS.
I'LL KEEP THE GIRL BUSY.
- OH, MISS WESTBROOK? - YES, MR.
SAVAGE? PLEASE CALL ME REX.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE CALL ME MELISSA.
MELISSA, TAKE A LOOK AT THESE.
- WELL, SIR.
- JUST CALL ME MAXWELL.
MAXWELL.
THERE'S A PAINTING OVER HERE I THINK YOU OUGHT TO SEE.
- I'D LOVE TO.
- IT'S JUST OVER HERE.
I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE FINEST EXAMPLES OF REALISTIC PAINTING THAT WE HAVE EVER HAD.
- WHAT IS IT CALLED? - "THE CAMERA.
" HOW PROVOCATIVE.
IF YOU LOOK A LITTLE MORE CLOSELY YOU'LL SEE THAT THE PAINTER HAS INCLUDED EVERY DETAIL.
MARVELOUS WORK, DON'T YOU THINK? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN SHOW YOU? YES, HOW ABOUT SOME COLD COMPRESSES FOR MY EYES? FUNNIEST-LOOKING PAINTING I'VE EVER SEEN.
UH, MISS WESTBROOK, ARE YOU READY TO LEAVE NOW? MR.
SAVAGE IS GOING TO DRIVE ME HOME, MAXWELL.
- YOU CAN GO ON AHEAD.
- WHAT ABOUT ME? I MEAN, WHY CAN'T I DRIVE THE TWO OF YOU? TWO'S COMPANY.
THREE'S A CROWD.
MAYBE I COULD GET A FRIEND.
- JUST THE TWO OF US.
- THAT'LL BE ALL, MAXWELL.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL EVENING.
I THOUGHT PERHAPS WE MIGHT TAKE A DRIVE THROUGH THE PARK.
OH, MR.
SAVAGE? YES? HELLO, CHIEF? MAX.
I'M IN LOVER'S LANE.
LISTEN, CHIEF, BEFORE I FILL YOU IN, I WANT YOU TO GIVE A MESSAGE TO PARKER AT THE LAB.
TELL HIM THAT THERE ARE A FEW ADJUSTMENTS NEEDED ON THE STEERING WHEEL PHONE.
EVERY TIME I TURN THE CORNER, I DIAL THE OPERATOR.
NEVER MIND THAT, MAX.
JUST GIVE ME YOUR REPORT.
RIGHT, CHIEF.
99 IS IN THE CAR WITH SAVAGE.
SHE'S STILL TRYING TO GET HIS FINGERPRINTS.
I THINK HE'S BEGINNING TO HELP HER.
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT IN LOVER'S LANE BY YOURSELF.
IT COULD DRAW ATTENTION TO YOU.
DON'T WORRY, CHIEF.
I HAVE MY INFLATE-O-GIRL WITH ME.
- OKAY, MAX.
- I'LL CHECK IN LATER.
THIS MOONLIGHT IS MADE-TO-ORDER.
MMM.
IT'S JUST PERFECT.
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT? YOUR GLOVE IS SCRATCHING MY CHEEK.
WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY JUST, UH-- WHY, OF COURSE NOT, MY DEAR.
I'M SORRY.
OH, IT'S NOTHING REALLY.
IS THAT BETTER? JUST LOVELY, THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, FELLA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE? ACTUALLY, NOTHING, OFFICER.
WE'RE JUST SITTING HERE LOOKING AT THE TREES.
NOW WHAT ABOUT THAT DUMMY? WELL, THIS IS LOVER'S LANE, ISN'T IT? I'D LOOK PRETTY PECULIAR SITTING UP HERE BY MYSELF.
WHAT KIND OF A WEIRDO ARE YOU? OH, I DON'T KNOW, JUST A PLAIN, NORMAL, EVERYDAY WEIRDO, I GUESS.
I THINK YOU'D BETTER TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING UP HERE.
WELL, I CAN EXPLAIN, OFFICER.
YOU SEE, I NEEDED A GIRL, AND I CARRY THIS ONE IN MY TRUNK.
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
THIS ISN'T REALLY MY GIRL.
I JUST USE HER FOR EMERGENCIES.
YOU SEE, OFFICER, I'M A SECRET-- WELL, I'D BETTER NOT REVEAL MY IDENTITY.
( hissing ) OFFICER, DO YOU KNOW WHERE I COULD GET A FLAT FIXED? MAX, I TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL AND NOT CALL ATTENTION TO YOURSELF.
BUT I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG, CHIEF.
I WAS JUST SITTING IN MY CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM WITH MY RUBBER DUMMY.
SO WHAT DID THE POLICE CHARGE YOU WITH? VIOLATING SECTION 387(b) OF THE PENAL CODE.
WHICH IS? SITTING IN A CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM NEXT TO A RUBBER DUMMY.
OH, YES, THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THAT LAW REPEALED FOR SEVERAL YEARS.
WHO HAS? THE RUBBER DUMMY LOBBY.
WELL, THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT ANYWAY, CHIEF.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MAX.
NOW WHAT ABOUT SAVAGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS? WELL, I COULDN'T GET ANY PICTURES OF HIM.
YOU WHAT? I'M SORRY, CHIEF.
BUT I'VE GOT SOME BEAUTS OF MYSELF.
WHAT ABOUT SAVAGE'S FINGERPRINTS? OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW, CHIEF, HE WEARS GLOVES AND HE NEVER TAKES THOSE GLOVES OFF FOR A MINUTE.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
HERE WE ARE, ONE OF THE BEST-KNOWN SECRET ORGANIZATIONS IN THE COUNTRY, AND WE CAN'T EVEN GET A SIMPLE LITTLE SET OF FINGERPRINTS.
CHIEF, I'VE JUST MADE A DATE WITH REX SAVAGE.
HE'S COMING TO MY APARTMENT FOR AN INTIMATE SUPPER.
YOU DID WHAT? DID YOU HEAR THAT, CHIEF? AN INTIMATE SUPPER DATE WITH THAT POTENTIAL KILLER.
GOOD WORK, 99.
GOOD WORK, 99.
I NEW YOU'D LIKE OUR PLAN, CHIEF.
NOW APPARENTLY THERE ARE ONLY TWO OCCASIONS WHEN REX TAKES HIS GLOVES OFF.
ONE IS WHEN HE EATS AND THE OTHER IS WHEN HE BATHES.
HE'S COMING UP TO MY PLACE ABOUT 11:00.
ISN'T THAT A LITTLE LATE FOR A BATH? MAX, IT'S AN INTIMATE SUPPER.
EXCELLENT.
LISTEN, CHIEF.
WHY DON'T THEY COME TO MY APARTMENT? I COULD ACT AS THE BUTLER AND KEEP MY EYE ON SAVAGE.
GOOD IDEA.
YOUR APARTMENT IS LARGER.
IT'S MORE THE KIND OF PLACE THAT MELISSA WESTPORT MIGHT LIVE IN.
THIS MAY BE OUR CHANCE TO GET A FULL DOSSIER ON SAVAGE.
- LET'S GO DOWN TO THE LAB.
- RIGHT.
THIS TABLEWARE IS SPECIALLY RIGGED.
WHEN THIS SUBJECT SITS DOWN TO HIS MEAL, THE FOLLOWING THINGS WILL HAPPEN: THIS CHEMICALLY TREATED SOUP SPOON WILL TRIGGER A CAMERA BUILT INTO THE BOTTOM OF A SOUP PLATE.
EVERY TIME I TAKE A SPOONFUL OF SOUP, THE PLATE TAKES MY PICTURE.
WATCH.
WHAT ABOUT THE FLASH? WON'T HE SEE THE FLASH? AH, IT WILL BE ABSORBED BY THE SOUP.
AND YOU'LL HAVE TO REMOVE THE SOUP PLATE - BEFORE HE GETS TO THE BOTTOM.
- RIGHT.
AND THIS ROLL IS MADE OUT OF A SPECIAL COMPOSITE.
WHEN THE SUBJECT TAKES IT, IT WILL MAKE A PERFECT IMPRESSION OF ALL OF HIS FINGERPRINTS, WHICH MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO GET IT AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE HE EATS IT.
OR USE ANOTHER ROLL.
VERY GOOD, PARKER.
- ANYTHING ELSE, PROFESSOR? - ONE MORE DEVICE.
THIS BOWL OF FRUIT WILL GIVE US A SAMPLE OF THE SUBJECT'S SPEAKING VOICE.
THERE IS A TAPE RECORDER BUILT INTO THIS APPLE.
Max: THAT'S FANTASTIC, PROFESSOR.
BUT WHERE'S THE MICROPHONE? OH, THE MICROPHONE, IT'S RIGHT IN H-- IN YOUR STOMACH.
THANK YOU.
- TO YOU.
- TO US.
- LISTEN - HMM.
EVER SINCE I MET YOU, THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT I'M ABLE TO THINK ABOUT.
WHAT'S THAT, REX? FIVE MINUTES TO DINNER.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO BE ALONE TONIGHT.
OH, MAXWELL? HE'S JUST HERE TO SERVE SUPPER.
AFTER THAT, I ASSURE YOU, WE'LL BE QUITE ALONE.
I HOPE THAT THIS WILL BE THE FIRST OF MANY MIDNIGHT SUPPERS, MY DEAR.
SO DO I, REX.
- AS I WAS SAYING - HMM.
THE ONLY THING THAT I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT ALL DAY IS COME AND GET IT! MAXWELL.
WELL I GUESS WE HAD BETTER GO EAT SUPPER.
OH, COME ON, REX.
DON'T LET MAXWELL BOTHER YOU.
ACTUALLY, HE'S BEEN IN THE FAMILY FOR YEARS AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HIM.
MAY I SUGGEST THE RACK? THANK YOU, MAXWELL.
YOU'RE WELCOME, 99.
WHAT DID HE CALL YOU? HE SAID, "NIGHTY-NIGHT.
" IT'S A LITTLE GAME WE USED TO PLAY AS CHILDREN.
NIGHTY-NIGHT, MAXWELL.
TRY THE SOUP, REX.
I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.
- WHAT KIND IS IT? - CREAM OF TECHNICOLOR.
MMM.
VERY GOOD.
VERY.
I WASN'T FINISHED.
WE DON'T WANT THE SOUP TO GET COLD, SIR.
HERE, WHY DON'T YOU TRY A ROLL? THANK YOU.
( knocking on door ) - WHO COULD THAT BE? - I'LL GET IT, MA'AM.
IN THE MEANTIME, WHY DON'T YOU TWO JUST TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES? AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP.
UH, MAXWELL, TELL WHOMEVER'S AT THE DOOR TO COME BACK TOMORROW.
YES, MA'AM.
I WONDER IF YOU'D MIND COMING BACK TOMORROW.
SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T STAND REJECTION.
STAND BACK AND KEEP YOUR HANDS UP.
MONDO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED, SAVAGE.
THIS MAN IS NO BUTLER.
YOU'RE TELLING ME.
WE'VE GOT A REPORT ON HIS PHOTOGRAPH FROM KAOS HEADQUARTERS.
HE'S MAXWELL SMART, AN AGENT FOR CONTROL.
MAX, HERE! GOOD THROW, 99.
GOOD CATCH, MONDO! YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, SAVAGE.
OH? WHY, MR.
SMART? BECAUSE AT THIS VERY MINUTE ARE CONVERGING ON THIS BUILDING WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE TWO SQUAD CARS AND A MOTORCYCLE COP? I DON'T THINK SO.
HOW ABOUT A VICIOUS STREET CLEANER AND A TOOTHLESS POLICE DOG? IF YOU WERE EXPECTING HELP, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE ALREADY.
NOW, MY DEAR MELISSA, YOU ARE GOING TO PAINT MR.
SMART TO DEATH.
YES, THIS CAN CONTAINS EXPLOSIVE PAINT WITH A TIMING DEVICE MIXED IN.
THIS PAINT CONTAINS A VIBRATION EXPLOSIVE.
IT DETONATES THE MOMENT A WINDOW OR A DOOR IS SLAMMED.
AND THIS CAN CONTAINS NITRO FLOOR PAINT.
IT EXPLODES THE INSTANT ANYONE STEPS ON IT.
NOW YOU START PAINTING MR.
SMART WITH THE TIME EXPLOSIVE MIXTURE.
- NITRO FLOOR PAINT.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
ONE FALSE MOVE AND YOU'LL BE BLOWN TO KINGDOM COME.
COME ON, MAX.
GOOD WORK, 99.
WELL, WE'VE DONE IT AGAIN.
THEY THINK JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ON THE SIDE OF GOOD THAT WE'RE SOFT, BUT WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS THAT WE'RE TOUGH AND HARD AND DO A VERY NICE JOB.
THAT'S WHY THEY ARE TRAPPED IN THIS ROOM AND CAN'T GET OUT.
COME ON, 99.
WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T MOVE.
YOU'RE IN THE SAME POSITION AS WE ARE.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE THIS ROOM EITHER.
IF YOU TAKE ONE STEP, WE'LL ALL BE BLOWN TO BITS.
THAT'S RIGHT.
GOT ANY IDEAS, MAX? WELL, WHY DON'T WE ALL JOIN IN A BIG CHORUS OF "HELP"? - All: HELP! - Max: SHH.
THE VIBRATION PAINT.
( quietly ) HELP! HELP! WELL, THAT FINISHES UP THE APARTMENT, 99.
A NICE, FRESH PAINT JOB.
YOU DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB, MAX.
OH, THANK YOU, 99.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THE CHIEF RESCUED US AND I SAW ALL THESE CANS OF PAINT LAYING AROUND SAVAGE'S ART GALLERY, - I FIGURED I MIGHT AS WELL PUT THEM TO GOOD USE.
- HMM.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO DOWN TO THE DINER AND I BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFEE WHILE THE PAINT DRIES? LOVELY.
MAX, ARE YOU SURE THIS PAINT'S ALL RIGHT? OF COURSE IT IS.
I CHECKED EVERY CAN OF PAINT IN THE GALLERY AND MEMORIZED THE NON-EXPLOSIVE ONES.
COME ON.
( explosion ) MAX DON'T WORRY, 99.
I COVERED THE FURNITURE.
( theme music playing )