Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e17 Episode Script

1 Harvey Harvey Harvey Step right up and prepare to be terrified by our Corn maze! You'll get tons of nightmares just thinking about it.
Aw, neat, a Corn maze.
May we go inside, sir? If you think you can handle it.
Great.
Yes.
Come into this totally terrifying maze.
- You'll never - Hey, guys, I found the exit.
- Huh? - Oh, man, that was so fun! Well, pretty scary, huh? No way.
It was extremely pleasant.
I can't stop smiling.
Are you sure you are not a little scared? No, dude, it was way easy.
Laisser.
Hey, that guy's giving away cider and donuts.
- Cool.
- No, guys, those cost money.
So the little children do not think our Corn maze is scary, eh? Well, we shall show them next year.
Wow, guys.
I really like your costumes.
I am the spirit of fall.
They ran out of costumes at the store.
- Harvey, are you a kitty cat? - Oh, no, I'm a mailman.
A mailman who went out in a full moon and was bitten by a werewolf.
I roam the streets looking for fresh victims and also delivering small to mid-size packages.
- Oh I'm a flower.
- Quiet down, you whippersnappers! - You there.
Paper boy.
- I'm actually not a paper boy.
You see, I'm a mailman who went out on a full - He's a werewolf.
- Dude, it's me, Fee.
I just thought you were actually like a weird, old man.
Yeah.
Hey, has anyone seen Foo? Who can guess what I am? - Uh - I'm a pumpkin.
See? Oh, hey, look at that.
But why are you naked? Pumpkins don't wear clothes, Harvey.
I told you they wouldn't get it.
Better put these back on.
Bunch of prudes.
So, what should we do first? Well, I don't care, as long as it's not that Corn maze! Corn maze, Corn maze! I don't want to do the Corn maze.
It's boring.
- Oh, come on.
It'll take five minutes.
- Okay, fine.
But after this, Foo and I want to go smash some pumpkins.
Yes, sir.
Have fun in the Corn maze, children.
Have fun forever! Doop doop Dooby-dooby doop dooey doop doop Dooby-dooby doop dooey This is great.
It's just like last year.
Yeah, same dumb signs as last year too.
Um, do corn mazes have bathrooms? I was hitting it pretty hard at the cider booth earlier.
Oh, I don't know what it is, but something about this place gives me the creeps.
- Oh, come on.
It's just corn.
- Yeah, it's not creepy at all.
Ah, stupid corn! Phew.
It wasn't a monster.
It's just Princess.
I guess those things are different.
Yeah, I've been lost in this stupid maze for hours! Well, why don't you follow us? We'll be out of here in a jiffy.
In fact, the exit should be right around this corner.
Oh Uh, no big deal.
We'll just come back the way we came.
Huh? "You look corn-fused"? What the Wow, Harvey, you kind of do look corn-fused.
- Was this wall here a second ago? - I know what's happening.
The walls are alive.
They're trying to trap us.
Don't be crazy.
It's not like we're gonna be trapped in here forever.
You still have hope.
Not me.
The maze stole my hope, and it'll steal yours soon enough.
I've seen the sunrise three times since I've been stuck in here.
There's no escape.
I've been surviving on Halloween candy.
- Why didn't you just eat the corn? - I don't like corn.
Do you want to come with us? We're gonna find the exit.
Nah.
You guys just just go on without me.
I'll see you on the other side.
- Okay, see you then.
- What a nice guy.
Harvey, it's getting late.
When are we getting out of this maze? We're gonna miss all the other fun stuff at the fair.
Harvey! I have to go! So we got a little turned around.
That's not so bad.
And at least we still have the light of the sun.
Okay, so it's pretty bad.
We're trapped! We're trapped forever! I'm sure we can find a way out of this maze.
We just have to stay calm.
- Princess! - I'm getting out of here! Princess, come back! How is she so fast? Princess! Her tiara.
- What happened to Princess?! - The maze must've took her.
She's got to be around here somewhere.
So let's just split up and look for her.
Princess! Princess! Princess, where are you? - Princess, where are you? - Where are you? Hey, I know.
Let's do roll-call to make sure we're all here.
I'll go first.
Piri Piri, present.
- Rooter? - Uh, present.
But I think we lost Kratz.
Kratz! Kratz! Ah, much better.
Okay, I'm all done, you guys.
Guys? Uh-oh.
I can't even tell where we are anymore.
All this corn looks the same.
Let's use the always-turn-left system.
If you turn left at every corner, you'll eventually find the exit.
- Which way is left? - You just hold up both your hands.
And whichever one makes the L shape is left.
Wait a minute But if I turn it the other way, this one makes the L, and this one oh, no.
Which one is left? Which one is left? We're never gonna get out of this maze! - Fee? - Yeah, Foo? - Has Harvey gone insane? - Yes, Foo.
Yes, he has.
The exit has to be around here.
It has to! I am corn-fused! I am corn-fused! Look.
The corn.
It's moving! - Oh - Okay.
Corn mazes are officially scary.
- We're all gonna die! - Foo! That's it! You're digging us to safety.
Ooh, good idea! I was digging our graves.
Come on, let's dig! Dig faster! Oh, that was crazy.
Where are we? Yes.
Yes! This is very entertaining! The squirrels have been watching us this whole time? Those tiny jerks! Long Jean, go back to camera seven.
Hello? Ooh! Why do bad things always happen to me? Did you hear what he said? That's so funny! - That's it.
I'm gonna kill them.
- Wait.
I have a better idea.
Let's give 'em a taste of their own medicine.
Foo, you start digging that way.
And Fee, I want you to Ahh, all this laughing has given me an appetite.
Sean Jean, go to the kitchen and get us some French fries and milk, eh? Eh? What was that? Sean Jean, are you in there? It's a demon! Everyone, to the exit! What the heck? Ah! To the other exit! Something keeps blocking our tunnels! A monster? A vampire? Sacrebleu! A werewolf! Not just any werewolf, but a mailman werewolf.
- Also a pumpkin and an old man.
- Eh! Ha! It's just the dumb, little, baby childrens.
You can't trap kids in a giant Corn maze! It's messed up! Uh, the dirt you used to block our tunnels - where did you get it? - I don't know.
I just dug all over.
You fool! This place is going to collapse! We gotta get out of here! Harvey, come on! - Yes! Yeah! - Woo-hoo! Whew! Guys, you're all right! You made it out of the maze.
Yes, uh, thank you for saving us back there.
- You're welcome.
- You're lucky Harvey was with us.
Please, little boy, tell me.
The Corn maze, was it scary? - Oh, my gosh, yeah! - It was terrifying.
Ah! That is all I wanted to hear.
Please, please, come.
I will buy you all something from the snack bar.
Whoa, yes! Sounds good to me, just as long as it's not corn.
Oh, that's funny! Once upon a time, there was a scary goblin who fed on fear.
His victims called him the Blargus.
He terrorized kids from sunup to sundown, and every scream made him stronger.
Now, on every Hallow's Eve, the Blargus waits in the shadow, hungry for blood! That's why every year, we gather and tell the scariest story we can.
The Blargus is listening, and if our story isn't scary enough, he'll come out, and he'll grab us all in his big jaws, and he'll say Ah-booooo! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've been workshopping some stories that'll really scare your pants off.
- Candy corn.
- Huh? I'm starting the story.
We'll say, "Candy corn," when we want a turn, and then we'll pass along - the story pumpkin.
- Right.
Carry on.
Okay, everybody, we need to make this as scary as possible to keep the Blargus away.
It was a dark, cold night.
Some hopeless kids were lost in the woods.
What if we can't find our way home? We'll have to sleep in the trees.
Two per branch to utilize our body heat.
And then the leader did some backflips.
- Look! I found a pond! - That's no pond.
It's a footprint! That's when the kids saw him.
The Blargus! Candy corn! The kids ran up a hill.
- The Blargus is right behind us! - We gotta hide in that creepy house! It's got tons of haunted windows.
So many windows.
And one is like, "Throw rocks at me!" And the other window is like, "Break us!" So they threw rocks.
Then they all broke.
Oh, candy corn! Candy corn! All right, like everything in life, I'm going to base this on a dream I had.
All the kids trembled as they saw the Blargus's gnarled feet lurch by.
For real though, guys, he's gonna eat us.
Suddenly an apple appeared.
And a baby was inside! The baby danced until all these horses appeared.
The horses sang You are the queen of the horses now And then they all played the steel drums.
- Ugh, so unsettling.
- Candy corn! Candy corn! Oh, man, you guys are in for it now.
So the kids continued down the hallway, not knowing what was lurking in the shadows.
Oh, my gosh! What is that? Is it the Blargus? No.
It's a coat rack with a coat that's missing two buttons.
Whoever wears this can never button it all the way.
Oh Harvey, you know these stories - are supposed to be scary, right? - Um, yeah, okay.
So then, the kids find a television, - and it's on a really boring channel.
- Blah, blah, blah But when he tries to change it, the TV doesn't switch.
Because there's no batteries in the remote! - Candy corn! - Uh wait.
Then the kids find a fresh batch of toaster tarts, but when they bite into them, the inside is still frozen! Harvey, it's gotta be scary or else the Blargus will eat us.
- Candy corn.
- Uh what if the kids, uh they find a blanket, but it's too short - Candy corn.
- And their feet are cold, - but if they lower it - Eh, no, candy corn.
- Their shoulders will be cold! - No, candy corn! - Candy corn! - So they were super uncomfortable for the rest of the night! - Harvey, candy corn! - Wait! No! Candy corn! Sorry, mate.
It's just you're really, really bad at being scary.
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess I'll just go then.
- Happy Halloween, guys.
- Wait, Harvey! Dude, come on.
Don't go.
Rooter's right.
I-I don't know what I'm doing.
Everyone's so good at this.
You scare people every day.
How do you do it? Okay, you know how you're so good at giving gifts because you know what everyone else likes? It's the same thing with scary stories, only this time you're giving the gift of fear.
Take Foo.
I know he gets scared at the slightest sound of corduroy.
You just gotta use your thoughtfulness - to emotionally destroy your audience.
- Hmm, all right.
Well, if that's what I have to do, then it's time to get real scary.
Guys, I think it's still Harvey's turn.
- Huh? - You have the floor.
Okay.
So the kids go into a room that's pretty pretty damp? Harvey, if this is leading up to a half-eaten pudding or an empty toilet roll, let's not.
Gift of fear! Ah! Actually, Rooter, it's different this time.
The kids come to a big, heavy door.
So the leader says he can break it down.
All right, should be easy enough.
Hiya! But he couldn't.
He was too weak.
He couldn't even lift a teacup.
Oy! What about his ninja training? It's funny, he forgot all of his ninja training.
Now all he knew how to do was waste oxygen.
No, no, I don't like that.
- Wow.
Things are heating up.
- They certainly are, Kratz.
But then the kids come upon a fridge, and inside, there's the last frozen dinner in the world.
Oh, meatloaf.
My favorite.
Huh? But when he checked the expiration date, - it was expired! - No! Those expiration dates aren't a hard and fast rule! And then the baby appeared.
Nothing is amazing and life is just - a series of disappointments.
- Oh, no, no.
And then I'll come back to you.
And then, Mikey loses his headphones.
Whoa, wait! That's who he is! He has nothing else! Um, you know what? I, uh, forgot I have to this, uh, thing, so I'm just gonna walk this way.
- Walk - Wow.
Everyone smells so scared.
Dude, awesome job.
Oh, but Fee, the story isn't over just yet.
The twins wandered into a dark attic.
As they explored, they accidentally unleashed an ancient curse! There's a lot of storage options up here.
Did you say something, Foo? Foo? Where'd you go? What do you mean? I'm standing right here.
Wait, Fee! Where are you going? - Foo? Answer me! - Fee? Fee? And they weren't able to see or hear each other anymore.
Are you hiding in this basket? And the halls echoed with their searching cries.
And then, out of the shadows, the Blargus came creeping out, hungry! He snatched up the kids one by one.
- Fee! Fee! - Foo, where are you? As he gripped them tight before his rotting maw, he savagely roared "Boooo!" Weeee! Happy Halloween! Heh, all right.
Who wants to go next? - Rooter? - Um, um I need to just lay down for a while.
Uh, right on.
Kratz? Piri Piri? I can't really follow that.
Um Fee? Foo? Can you hear me? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Can you see me? Oh, my gosh! I went too far! I'm I'm a monster! What have I done? I didn't see that my power to warm hearts could also chill them.
Duality.
I've got to fix this.
Guys? We have to finish the story.
We all know how it's gonna end anyway.
Nothing matters.
Wait, just hear me out.
With all the kids in hand, the Blargus stalked towards his secret lair and a heated pool! Huh? He's just toying with us before he eats us.
Fee? Are you there? Then a figure stepped out from the shadows.
Uh, hey, guys.
How's it going? - So, uh, I'm the Blargus.
- Wait.
That's the Blargus? Yeah, so, uh, I didn't mean to freak you out earlier, but, um, I hope you like my pool.
And I have some snacks.
Uh, hey there.
Can you open this jar for me? It's kind of on there tight.
I don't know if I can.
I'm not the man I used to b Oh, my gosh! It popped right off! I got my strength back! Hey, guys, help yourselves to my freezer.
It's full of every frozen TV dinner ever made, - and they never expire.
- Wait! Whaaaaa? What about cold French fries? Pizza without the sauce? I have pizza with the sauce and you can wipe it off.
Then, suddenly, the queen of the horses appeared again.
Hey, so, uh, I was pretty dramatic before, but I grew up, and now I see life as wondrous and exciting! I mean, look! I got this juicer! - So that's pretty cool.
- Um, that's amazing! Oh, and look! The pool water reversed the spell on the twins! Whoa! Whoa! Now you're fused together into a two-headed sea monster.
Whoa! Yay! Now we can poke each other's eyes.
From that point on, the twins were never apart again.
Sweet.
The Blargus hoped he'd made up for the damage he'd caused.
Okay, guys, I just stormed off and I'm kind of shocked that nobody came after me.
Hey, you came back just in time.
The story just got fun.
Hehe, cool.
I wasn't out there crying or anything.
Uh, so anyway, the Blargus has a heated pool or something? All right, fire's out, so let's call it a night.
Harvey, I was wrong before.
- You're terrifying.
- Aw, thanks, Rooter.
We should tell scary stories more often.
- That was brutal, yeah? - That was really awesome.
Hmm, I like that story.
- Hey, where's Seth? - Wait, is he your friend? I thought he was your friend.